Lost Moments

Lost Moments

By: Lynn Metallium

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything! I’m nothing but a poor little American girl who had to spend all of her money on college and therefore even if you sued me you wouldn’t get any money anyway. So please don’t get mad and hurt me Xx;;

Song By:

Enya

Chapter 1

It’s only now when words are said

that breaks my heart in two,

I wonder how you can endure

all I’ve said, all I say to you.

A tremor when through the young man’s body as his knees started to ache beneath him. He had been kneeling on the hard wood floor of the main chamber for close to an hour waiting. Hyuuga Neji had never been known to be a patient man, especially when it came to the Main House. How like his uncle to leave someone like himself in the dark and waiting.

The sun had hardly risen this morning when a messenger had come to the gardens to deliver a message to him that Hiashi wanted to see him. Neji had questioned the messenger to no avail as the clan leader had not given him any additional information to deliver outside of the request for his presence in the main chamber as soon as possible. If the matter had been of great importance though, surely he would have not been made to wait so long. However Hiashi marched to the beat of his own drum, doing how he saw fit. Of course he had the right and no one would dare say otherwise unless they wished to find themselves begging for his mercy and forgiveness.

Although Neji had strived for years to break free from this clan, it was something he could never do. No matter how angry he got, no matter how bitterly he did what was asked of him, the caged bird would not fly free. It had taken time for him to come to terms with his life, even after learning the truth about his father he had trouble overcoming his bitterness. He still felt it from time to time, such as now when he was forced to wait, reminding him bitterly of his lower status in the Branch house. He obviously would not be getting first priority this morning.

More time passed before Neji saw the sliding door that connected the main chamber to Hiashi’s private meeting room. Quickly Neji prostrated himself to the ground, pressing his head against the wooden floor. He was disgusted to see the dirt that seemed to be collected there and held back his urge to jerk up and brush it away from his face. It would be dangerous for him to do such a thing and cause disrespect to not only his elder but to the great leader of the Hyuuga clan as well. Even though Neji was sure the older man would not kill him as he might some other Branch house members, the punishment would be severe all the same.

“Neji…You are here already,” The surprise in the older man’s voice made Neji suddenly feel a surge of stupidity and he wondered, was there something else that the messenger had not told him?

“The message you sent seemed urgent…” He did not dare lift his head, but spoke loud and clear to keep his voice from being muffled into the wood. In his mind he fancied that he could see the elder sitting in his chair with puzzled look on his face. “I came right away-“

“Then you have been here for some time….Fool messenger…” His voice sounded annoyed already and Neji assumed this would not be a very pleasant meeting if he was already getting annoyed. “I told him to give you time to change and refresh yourself from training…But I see you have not.”

“No…As I said I came right away,” Neji gritted his teeth, of course he had not had time! There had been nothing said about it and he had come in his dirt stained training clothes, still smelling of his sweat. Now he found himself silently cursing the messenger for making the meeting get off to a bad start. He would find him later and put some fear in him for his life that much was certain.

“Never mind Neji, what you are wear matters not to this meeting. Sit up and speak to me, this will be of grave importance. This morning I have had a very important meeting with the Elders- Do you know what about?”

Neji straightened his spine, forcing his weight back onto his legs which were starting to feel painfully asleep from sitting all morning. His eyes darted over the older man in front of him before falling to rest on his feet, not daring to actually meet his eyes. Old age was starting to take its hold on him, no matter how much he tried to escape it, death would be soon for the old man, perhaps as soon as within the next 10 years. Too soon for the clan….Hinata-san would never be ready then to take the position. Although she would never really be ready one way or the other so it made no difference whether it was tomorrow or a million years from now.

“I do not know my lord what you have spoken of. There has been no word of war or disturbance.”

“We spoke of the clan….” Hiashi licked his lips as he shifted in his chair, his face flickering with some unspoken pain. Although the older made no sound Neji could not help but wonder about the fleeting look and what it meant. “Neji what I tell you no one has heard outside of the Elders this morning. The Lady Hyuuga nor my daughters know, none of the rest of the clan. What I tell you must not leave this room, do you understand me Neji? Promise me that these words will not escape this room. ”

“I understand well.” A caged bird never sang without his master’s permission. Neji bowed his head to the floor in acknowledgement once again before straightening. Whatever it was, this was a very serious thing if he was being forced to promise not to speak of things.

“I am dying-“

Neji hastily raised his widening eyes as he sat back in shock. Impossible!

“You aren’t!” The words escaped his mouth before he even had a moment to think about them. Quickly he pressed his lips together to hold back the rest of his words.

“I am. My body is shutting down and my chakra disappearing, despite everything we have attempted for the past three months to change this. The physicians do not think I will survive this. Although I am in no pain as of yet, no one can live without their chakra…At this rate I will expire before the year is out.”

“Why are you telling me this…” Neji stared at him with blank eyes. Of course he felt the shock of the elder leader dying but at the same time, of all the people in the clan why would he choose him…? He hadn’t even told his wife yet, if he planed to tell her at all. The bastard.

“My daughter…She is not ready for this. She is not suited to rule but I cannot simply hand this to Hanabi as long as Hinata is alive. I will not disown a child of mine for the sake of keeping the clan alive, but she is much too weak. “

A chill ran through Neji’s body, surely he was not implying that he wished to have Hinata killed? How could he even think of such a thing…Another cold feeling rushed through Neji. What if he was to be the one who killed her? He could not. Ever. His sweet shy cousin… Even then, when he had hurt her so bady back then, he had given her a way out because it hurt his heart so badly to see her try so hard and never get anywhere. He had not shown it but to destroy her innocent image of him had hurt him more than he was willing to speak about. She had always been different and he admired that in her. There was no way he could ever cause her more harm. That had been enough and almost more than he could bear.

“What do you plan to do then….Hinata-sama is the heir to your power but you will not disown her yet you do not plan to give her the right of her birth?”

“Do not be mistaken. She will receive her birth right and take the place of power within the Hyuuga clan. Although I thought to have her removed, the Elders have given me new direction.”

A sigh of relief escaped Neji’s mouth without him even thinking about it. If it had not been for the Elders he hated so much…Hinata would not have awoken this morning, safe and sound in her bed. For once he allowed his hate for the Main house Elders lessen. They had saved his cousin and for that he was thankful.

“What do you plan then? Hinata is intelligent but she has never received the training Hanabi has…” And I don’t know why, he thought bitterly. It was her birth right, not Hanabi, the worthless spoiled second child. Hanabi had not been born with the same light in her eyes as Hinata, it was obvious just looking at her that she was truly her father’s daughter.

“There is a simple solution to this problem. Hinata must marry a man who will be able to handle control of the Hyuuga clan.”

Neji felt like he was living in the twilight zone as he heard his uncle speak these words. Hinata? Married? To someone who didn’t know the first thing about the Hyuuga clan? How could his uncle do this to her? How could he do this to the clan! A spike of anger rushed through him and he clenched his hands into fists at his side.

“Who did you have in mind…?” Surely there were not many who would be able to do this job. Most of the men their age were dunderheads…Unless….He planed to marry her off to an older man? Neji shuttered and willed him not to be such a fool.

“Although there are many clans in Konoha that could easily produce an heir with Hinata worthy of leading the clan, this situation is very delicate. We cannot allow just any man to marry into the Main house and have complete rule over our clan. I am not willing to marry Hinata outside of this clan. The man who marries Hinata must be a Hyuuga-“

Neji felt an uncomfortable feeling build in his stomach. He could not allow this to happen to Hinata. Since that time, when he had fought her, he had strived to become the cousin he should have been, to be a guardian for the younger girl as was his own path from birth.

“To marry her to another Hyuuga…You cannot be serious! It could be dangerous to have a child born from such a union would be…”

“A true machine, a spare trump card inside our own clan, yes. It would be a child worth ruling, more than I can ever say of Hinata. She will never be strong, but her husband will be a man who has shown great promise-“

“Who is this man….He must be one of the Elders, one of your advisors even? Someone who would know the plan you have set for the Hyuuga clan…” Neji licked his lips nervously. There were no men of the Main house that would care for Hinata the way she needed to be cared for. Her life had always been one of difficulty and now her father was using his power to destroy what freedom she had left. While he had always tortured himself over his own fate, it was now Hinata who was caged even more than himself and it pained him to see her beautiful spirit become crushed. The light would die from her eyes when this news reached her.

“No, he is none of these things.”

“I must advise against this….There is still time to turn Hinata into a strong ruler. She can learn what must be done-“

“No. You are a fool Neji! Hinata can never learn these things, to waste that precious time on her? You are an intelligent man, open your eyes. She will never amount to anything. You must be the one who learns these things Neji.”

Neji lifted his head in horror at his words, a tremor running through his body. He knew his mouth was hanging open but he could not move.

“What are you saying….?”

“You will be the one to wed Hinata. You are talented and strong and will create heirs with Hinata that will be five times the man you are and ten times the woman she is. You will marry her and create such children the Hyuuga clan has never seen.”

Neji surged to his feet, almost stumbling as blood rushed back into his legs. He swayed for a moment with a wide eyed look at his uncle. He has utterly lost his mind, Neji thought as he stood straighter.

“I cant do that! Hinata is….Hinata is…” He trailed off, struggling with his inner self. Hinata was his special person. He loved his cousin dearly but he did not love her as a man should love his wife! Not that love had ever played a part in Hyuuga marriage. Lady Hyuuga was never hardly seen outside of her room, it was said that she was deathly sick ever since Hanabi’s birth but the truth was she was a depressed woman who could not stand the sight of her husband and the life she had been forced to live.

“You do not have any choice in this matter! Prostrate yourself! You do not have the right to stand before my presence!”

“I will not do this to Hinata! She deserves-“The flashing pain in his head made him scream. Nothing ever made him scream, no matter what, yet the seal in his forehead made him crazy with pain. It gave his uncle control and he had not qualms about using it when he wanted his way. Tears came to his milky eyes as he hit the floor with his knees, bruising them as he clutched his head so hard that his nails dug into his skin bringing blood. Forever at the mercy of an uncaring uncle who had simply been able to escape the womb first. His grandmother had been a cursed woman for ever daring to have twins. He hated her, he hated his uncle and nothing ever changed these things.

As the pain began to fade, he tried not to snuffle like a child. Even the strongest of the Branch house could become children under the pain of the seal. Clenching his hands, he pressed his burning forehead to the wooden floor.

“Forgive me Uncle, I forget my place-“His voice was bitter and hard as he tried to keep his arms from quivering. He had forgotten and like a bird that could not see glass he had come up short of being crushed to death when impact had been made.

“You will marry her. You will make children, you will have no choice. You are my nightingale Neji and you will sing when I tell you to sing.”

“I understand…” Neji’s throat closed painfully as the hate began to build in his heart. For a while there had been an understanding between himself and his uncle but this had just proven that he was not a better man, he was still the same bastard he had always been all of these years, simply because he had the right to do so.

“Do not be so bitter nephew, think of all the good that will come from this. You will have a beautiful woman at your disposal who will never fight you, you will escape the Branch house and you will rule the Hyuuga clan from behind my daughter’s icon. Does that not even give you a little pleasure?”

Neji felt his face burn at his uncle’s words, not daring to even look up. All of these things were true. He had always dreamed of escaping his cage and now he would dare try to turn down the one chance, the one bizarre twist of fate that would allow him to do so? He would have never dreamed that one day he could rise from his position as a lowly Branch house member to ruling the whole clan. Secretly in his heart he rejoiced, he was going to escape.

“It gives me much rejoicing in my heart uncle. I am honored that you would pick me over all of the other men of our clan to take your daughter’s hand in marriage and take your place as leader of the Hyuuga clan. I will do my best to be half the leader you are-“

“You have not disappointed me Neji. Leave now. I must speak to my daughter of these matters.”

Neji did not move from his prostrated position on the floor until he heard the gentle noise of the sliding door open and click shut, indicating that Hiashi had left him alone in the room. Fury rushed through his veins at the weakness he could never escape. Forever he would be the Main house’s dog to do as they pleased with. Now he would be the tool that would destroy what was left of his gentle cousin’s life. He knew her heart would never be able to turn towards him and he did not think he could ever give her what she deserved of a husband.

Furious, he clenched his hand into a fist, slamming it into the wooden floor. The wood cracked under the pressure of his hand and the skin along his knuckles split to leak his blood. Lifting his hand, he stared at his palm as the blood trickled down the back of his hand. This blood…if only he could take it away and be free of these problems, be free of this clan. The dark haired nin’s eyes fell shut as he clutched his hand towards his chest.

“This is not my fault,” He murmured to himself. “I have no choice. I cannot be blamed…”

The words did not calm him as he hoped, instead his anguish bit deeper into his heart. Forcing himself to his feet, he moved to leave the room. He could deal with this now and he had to find escape somehow. How weak he was…

“Hinata-sama….Your nightgown has been soaked in blood….Have you injured yourself training?”

There was no answer from the girl sitting in the window. She had not moved there since the other woman had arrived. Most mornings the lady of the room would be out training when she came, and she cleaned in peace. This morning however she had been a bit unnerved to find her seated calmly on the windowsill. Nervously she had bid the lady good morning but there had been no reply, only a nod of her head to show that she had heard and acknowledged her existence. Now, changing the sheets of the bed, it appeared that the dark haired heir had not even slept in them the night before. Concern came when she noticed the dark blood stains on the comforter. Alarm had set in when she had found the woman’s nightgown shoved under the pillow, the front and arms soaked in the darkening sticky liquid.

“There was an accident, yes” The woman’s voice was so low she almost missed her reply. It was odd that she would be so quiet. Although the two did not speak often now, the house cleaner had cleaned the heir’s room since she had been a tiny babe. She had changed her diapers and watched her grow into the woman she was now. They were not friends, nor was it likely that they ever would be, even so the older woman could not help but look at the dark haired girl as one of her own. When the ninja had been young, despite being shy at first, she had often chattered away to her about many things, her training, her cousin Neji-niisan, and her mother. Now she spoke of nothing and it was rare to even see her at all.

“Have you seen a medic-nin Hinata-sama?” Concern haunted her voice as she took a step towards the youth in the window. It must have been a very bad accident for there was much blood on the bed.

“I went-“Her tone was still soft. After a pause she slowly turned her head from the window to stare at the keeper with her white eyes, a smile gracing her lips. Truly she had grown into a beautiful woman. “I am well. Please do not worry, Taiki-san. My bandages broke during the night that is all.”

Taiki could only bow in silence; it was not her place to argue with the other. Feeling a bit nervous the woman quickly finished her work, gathering the remaining bedding to be washed and escaped from the room. There was something dark in there that made her uncomfortable but what she could not say. Hinata-sama had always been such as sweet girl and the feeling of gloom that had settled over her now days worried the older woman, yet there was nothing she could say to the heir concerning her feelings, the branch house did not have that right.

Hinata stood from her spot even as she watched the woman leave with blank eyes. Taiki was a mere shadow within the Hyuuga compound, something Hinata found herself relating to. A shadow who haunted the rooms with her presence, yet no one took notice. Everyone had turned their eyes from her the day Hanabi had been born.

At first that had been ok, Hinata had never really liked the eyes on her in the first place watching and waiting to tell her everything she had done wrong. The only comfort she had during those first years had been her mother.

Sweet Hyuuga Hotaru, a mere pawn within the games of men. The love of her younger years had loved another woman, a forbidden fruit outside of the clan. They had died together many summers ago, unable to find peace or happiness in a world that only wished them death.

When she was thirteen, Hyuuga Hiashi had become leader of the Hyuuga clan at the age of twenty five. Through pressure brought on by his advisors he took his first wife, Hotaru’s older sister Hanabi as his wife. Hanabi had bleed to death only five months later with the miscarriage the first child of Hiashi. When the mourning period had passed, Hiashi had asked her father for her hand, finding Hotaru’s face reminded him fondly of his deceased wife. Unfortunately Hotaru was shy and silent, nothing like her sister, who had been a wild free spirited woman and Hiashi’s heart became cold towards her.

Hiashi only continued to visit his wife until Hinata had been conceived, yet after the first child had been born and showed signs of weakness, Hiashi had returned to attempt for better second child, a hopeful son who would outrank Hinata. No matter when a son was born, he would be the heir. Hanabi had been a lucky baby. She had been born in a most painful way and had taken almost two days to deliver. Hotaru had almost died and had never truly recovered.

Although Hanabi was not the son Hiashi had been looking for, she was the more superior of the two in all matters, especially in monopolizing their father’s heart thanks to being born with the face of the woman she had been named after.

As Hanabi had grown, she had found that she was a second born, and by all rights should have been a branch house child. The only thing that kept her forehead bare was her power and the sickening hope of her father that Hinata would not make it to her twenty-first year, the year she would become his official heir. All of these things had created a bitter spoiled child who did not care for anyone but herself. Everything she did was for her own best interest and done to become closer to Hiashi in hopes that he would change his mind, going against tradition and name her the proper heir of the Hyuuga clan.

No matter how much Hinata might have liked the eyes drawn away from her to see Hanabi, as the girl had become older, Hinata had come to see what a frightening child her younger sister was becoming. But Hinata was very much her mother’s daughter and so her mouth remained silent as she took the harsh words and treatment her sister placed on her. She had heard talk that several of her father’s advisors would have liked to see the younger sister placed in the seat meant for the shy Hinata. The only advantage the weaker first born had was her father, who remained strong in his decision to keep the traditional ways.

Softly padding from her room, she found herself following the hallways deep within the house towards the room of the woman who plagued many of her early memories.

Hiashi did not love Hotaru, that much was obvious, yet he took good care of her and she lived a life as no other woman in the whole clan ever would. Since her second daughter’s birth, she had been unable to bear any more children and all of the pregnancies afterward had ended in miscarriage. Hotaru herself had fallen into poor health as her mind had started to fail for reasons unknown to the court physicians. She had been pronounced unstable and ordered to bed rest.

Thus that was where the young ninja found her mother, propped up among pillows staring into nothing with blank eyes. A house maid who had been arranging freshly cut flowers in the vase by the window made a startled noise when Hinata appeared in the doorway. The flowers fell from her hand as the frightened young girl bowed deeply. Hinata could only blush as she held back a sound of annoyance. She was hardly someone to bow to and yet she could not stop them even though she wished she could.

“I would like to visit with my mother if you please,” She took another step into the room as the young girl bowed once again, scampering over the flowers on the floor and fleeing the room like a frightened animal. Hinata watched her for several minutes before sliding the door shut with shaking hands. She did not often come to see her mother, the state that she was in hurt her heart.

Moving silently across the room she picked up the forgotten flowers to replace them in the vase, her hands moving with ease. When she and Hanabi had been young, before Hanabi had come to resent her older sister, their mother had taught them all she knew of gardening and flower arranging. One day, Hotaru use to say, your husband will like to see beautiful flowers in his rooms and fresh greens on his plate. Finally she took a seat next to the spread on the floor where her mother laid and reached out with her hand to draw a pale slim hand in between her own, clutching it as if it were a life line.

“Mother…. My heart is troubled…. things are happening here…things you would not agree with. I do not know what to do…I have never known what to do under the circumstances. I am not a strong person and yet I have been told… I must straighten my spine and carry the weight of the family. I thought Father would die before this day came, that he would rather pierce his heart on the end of a sword than name me heir of this clan. The hate for me he carries showed even today when he called me to the chambers… Why would he wish this upon the people of this clan? Why would he wish this upon me? I do not understand these things Mother…”

The dark haired girl’s hand tightened around her mothers sickly thin hand as she tried to hold back the tears that were eagerly gathering in her eyes. She couldn’t let them fall, she had to be strong about this.

“I knew… that the time for me to marry was always right around the corner and I know that I should feel blessed I was not sold into the slavery of womanly duty the day my first moon cycle came and yet…”

She bowed her head and willed her voice to be steady, even though the woman in the bed had not taken any notice of her, nor would she ever again perhaps. Hotaru was lost to this word, in a safe haven she had created for herself. In a way Hinata thought her mother was selfish, leaving her alone to deal with these things on her own, but at the same time she felt that perhaps she deserved it after all of these years putting up with the man they dared call husband and father.

“And yet I cannot hold back these tears…” The daughter dared not to say anymore. She could not bring herself to tell her mother, no mater if she was listening or not, how her father had belittled her this morning, telling her how worthless she really was…It made her flinch even now as she remembered how the morning had gone.

Flashback:

Hinata had been summoned to the family meeting room. It had once been used, years ago for the first members of the house, such as her grandfather and grandmother, and later Hinata’s own father, late uncle, aunt and afterward her own mother. They would all come together to speak of grave matters within the family that led the clan. Now of course her grandparents, aunt and uncle were dead, Hotaru no longer moved from her bed and Hinata, the true heir of these proud people was not welcomed when the talks took place between her father and Hanabi, the only real members of the first family that were left.

She had waited for some time, a feeling of nervousness growing within her stomach as she knelt on the mats, her eyes fixed towards the sliding door, yet no one moved on the outside except servants. When she called to one, asking as to the whereabouts of her father, he replied that Hiashi had many previous engagements before he could see her. When she had enquired as to what those were, she felt as if she shouldn’t have asked at all when the servant replied that Hiashi would see the Elders of the clan as well as her cousin Neji-san before herself.

It wasn’t as if the milky eyed girl held any malice towards her cousin, she never could even when he was the point of almost constant sorrow for many of her younger years. Yet it still made a feeling of envy grow with-in the girl that her father even placed her after the Branch family. She could never escape being placed dead last with her father no matter how hard she tried, and Hinata knew she tried very hard! Yet it was never good enough.

The girl had been eating from a rice bowl when her father finally arrived in the room, the sudden sliding of the door frightening her so badly she had dropped the bowl of rice as she pressed her forehead to the floor.

“Father…” Her voice was low and submissive, she didn’t have much of a fighting spirit after all and there was no point in pretending she was brave when it came to her father. Hiashi barely glanced at her as he walked into the room, neatly sidestepping the pile of rice that had fallen to the floor, gesturing with one hand to the servant by the door to come and take the mess away.

“I see you’ve made yourself comfortable while you waited-“His tone made her heart clench painfully. She had been hungry and he had been long in coming. Again he wasn’t being fair to her.

Nether wanted to be there, yet Hiashi had a way of making it painfully obvious that he thought little of the child before him. Ever since that day that Kurenai-sensei had come to take her under her wing, Hiashi had abandoned her in all senses. He no longer trained her, although at that point in her life she was constantly being shown up by Hanabi so it wasn’t as if she was getting much proper training anyway. All of her fathers attentions had gone into the younger girl and Hanabi knew she had her father wrapped around her little finger. Even at a young age Hanabi had enjoyed picking on her older sister, much to Hinata’s annoyance as well as embarrassment.

“There was something you wished to speak to me about?” Hinata raises her head slightly, although he had not directed her to do so. He ignored her movements as she sat up to face him however, his eyes directed elsewhere.

“Nether of us wish to be here and so I will make this quick and to the point-“His words only served to make her heart ache even more. Although he hated her, Hinata had never found it in her heart to truly hate the man before her, he was her father after all.

“This matter is of utter most importance and if there was another way before us, I would eagerly take it,” Hiashi turned his piercing eyes upon the girl before him. “You’ve been nothing but worthless to me since your birth, Hanabi has shown you up time and time again and would make ten times the leader of this clan than you would. Yet I cannot simply throw you aside, you are after all my first born.”

‘How unfortunate…Otherwise I would surely be gone with today’s trash’ The dark haired girl thought miserably.

“And thus I must give you the right of birth that not even I am willing to deny you. Despite what the elders say I believe you can do one thing right, and that is the duty that has long been put off, the one thing you will not fail at and that is marriage.”

Hinata lifted her eyes to meet her fathers, feeling her blood run cold. He wished to marry her off, to an old man no doubt! An elder of the clan! She would be his pawn and his playmate, a caste off to hide behind the curtains as her old wrinkled husband sent the clan into more egotistical ruin.

“You have found a respectable marriage arrangement then?” She tried to keep her eyes from meeting his harsh face again, glancing at him in a demurely manor that she was so good at. Although the dark haired ninja was frightened at the aspect of spending the rest of her youth chained to some old man she knew that one day she had to pretend to be strong.

“Of course fool child, would I bring this matter to your attention if I had not already found a worthy man? Why am I cursed with such an ignorant child…Yes I have found the man that you will marry and he could come at no better time as soon I will leave this body behind-“

“You cannot mean-!” She cut him off despite herself, horrified at his implications yet Hiashi waved her silent with a sharp movement.

“Shut your mouth and let an elder speak, must you always find a way to stray from your path? Why must I be cursed with such daughter as you! I mean as I say, I am dying surely as the sun will set today and tomorrow and all the days after. I will not leave one such as you to run things of great importance after my death that is why I will leave you with an able-bodied husband. He will know all and you will be relieved from such pressures, is this not acceptable daughter? You will not have to show the clan what a foolish child you are. Am I not a great and honorable father?”

Hinata felt her face flush as she pressed her forehead to the floor murmuring words of praise although her mind felt blank and her heart cold. How cruel could a father truly be to his daughter? Did he not care for her at all? All he cared about was saving face in front of the elders and the clan by hiding his useless daughter.

“And who would you have me marry father? Surely a man that is simply mere steps away from your greatness?” Flattery would get you everywhere in the Hyuuga household and at that Hiashi chuckled.

“At last the fool child speaks a few meager words of wisdom. Yes he is a great man, you should know him well, your cousin, Neji-san.”

The small girl’s face paled, although her father could not see her reaction as she pressed her face hard into the mats on the floor to keep herself from shaking. Neji-neesan…

“Am I not a most honorable father my daughter?”

“Of course father…you are worth more than a thousand praises, how can I ever give you the amount of glory you are worth…”

End Flashback

Why of all the men in the Main house would he pick her cousin, a Branch house member and the one who hated her most of all, despite the small level of agreement they had come to after the chuunin exams. The two had become moderately close, and even closer after his near death experience after the failed mission to retrieve the Uchiha boy. Yet now, surely he would hate her once again. She was not desirable in any way and a man like her cousin deserved a strong beautiful wife. Hinata knew she was none of these things, although perhaps he would not care as she was merely his pawn to gain control.

“Mother how can I escape this thing…He wishes to trap me as he has trapped you and I…” Hinata tore her eyes away. She hated to admit to her poor mother that she did not want to become a shell like her. It was a horrible thing to say to a woman who had tried so hard all of her life only to be ignored and degraded by a husband who did not love her and yet Hinata could suddenly see her mother’s life reborn in herself. The thought scared her to death.

She was startled from her thoughts at the sound of the sliding door slamming back into the wall. Shocked that someone would enter her mothers room with such force, Hinata’s head jerked around to find her younger sister standing in the doorway, her cheeks flushed and puffed out with pride.

“Is it true then? Miserable worm is it true?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” Hinata was no longer shocked at the way her sister referred to her, at first it had made her cry but she had found that crying only made it worse. Now she simply ignored it the best she could, avoiding Hanabi at all costs.

“You know what I’m talking about!” Hanabi stepped into the room, her fist raised as if she would strike the other girl in front of her. “Two weeks from now you will be marked as heir!”

“Oh…?” She didn’t have to mask her surprise. Father had neglected to inform her just when the marking would take place and it really had suited her fine not to know anything more about it than necessary.

“Oh? Oh? That’s all a foolish girl like you can say! Gods I’m cursed with a dimwitted sister! How dare you not tell me this, you’re a sneaky lying worm-“

“How could I have told you something I did not know until you told me this very moment? And how do you know if the words you speak have any truth whatsoever?”

Hinata turned her face bluntly away from the angry girl, placing her mothers hand fondly back upon her breast. Her quiet visitation was obviously going to be cut short today with Hanabi’s temper tantrum. Standing and turning back around she found that Hanabi was directly in her face in a most uncomfortable manor. Nervously she attempted to step back, her eyes flickering towards the door. This was not a confrontation she wanted to make now.

“I know it’s true, I heard the Elders as they came from counsel this morning!” Hanabi grasped the older girl’s shirt as Hinata tried to neatly side step her angry sister and escape from the room.

“What is it that you expect me to do about this Hanabi? Do you really believe I have any control over the counsel? Over father..?”

“You could have refused! Why would you say yes! Why would father ask you in the first place? Father hates your guts!” Every word was spoken maliciously as the taller girl glared down at her older yet smaller sister. “He loves me! Nobody’s ever loved you! You’re just a shadow here, don’t you know? You’ll never be able to rule this clan, you’re too weak.”

“I…” Hinata’s voice trailed off as she let her eyes lower to the ground. It wasn’t as if she could deny her words. “I…I’m sorry Hanabi…But I cant…I mean….there’s nothing I can do!”

The slap to the face was so sudden Hinata hardly had time to register it, instead she only felt the after shock and the painful sting of her throbbing cheek as Hanabi spit into her face, the glob of mucus sliding slowly down the side of her face as Hinata stared at her younger sister with wide hurt eyes.

“H-Hanabi…why….”

“I hate you. I wish you would die-“With that Hanabi spun on her heel and ran out the door, slamming the wooden frame after her. Hinata stood there, the feelings of shock still racing through her veins. It was true that there had been little love between herself and her younger sister but now…now there was only hate.

Hinata slowly dropped to her knees as she pressed her hand to her eyes to hide the tears that were springing into them. Why did these things happen to her? She had never wished a horrible thing on anyone her whole life and yet she suffered like this for being a good person. It didn’t seem fair…

“I will not cry….” She murmured to herself over and over as she pressed her forehead to the floor painfully hard, yet the tears began to roll over her slightly chubby cheeks, soaking down into the floor mats as she laid there, her hear throbbing painfully in her chest. “I will not cry…”