God hates me

Finally second chapter! > spins with joy< Well.. read... enjoy... and have fun :3
And I would like to thank you all for your great reviews!

Dedicated to... Mizukage, my beta! I luv you!


'......' Naruto's thoughts
>...< Sasuke's thoughts

"Naruto-kun, come down!" Sasuke called to the blond boy who was currently sitting on the yard about 20 meters above the deck. The teen had refused to leave this spot for over 3 hours, much to enjoyment of the crew and dissatisfaction of the raven-haired siblings; proving that stubbornness was definitely a part of his personality.
"Naruto-kun?" Once again there was no response.
"Sasuke, let him be," Itachi's voice came floating from the direction of the rudder.
"But Aniki..."
"Don't worry," captain grinned "I have already taken some steps. I can guaranty that he'll be down in no time, so take it easy and come here" Sasuke only shrugged his shoulders and without further delay, joined Itachi.

#.#
'Finally, he left' thought Naruto shifting his body a little (his ass ached so much that there was no comfortable position to sit in, but whatever...). The teens eyes followed the moving spot until the two brothers were standing together and discussing something over huge map. Naruto sighed when his stomach suddenly grumbled.
"I bet you're hungry," came voice from his left.
"Yeah, I am." He answered without thinking, but when he turned his head to look he almost fell over. Sitting next to him was a tall white haired man with an eye-patch over one eye and mask covering bottom of his face.
"Yo" The man said rising his hand in carefree greeting.
"Don't 'Yo' me! Who the heck are you?!" Naruto screamed as he moved away. He was balancing dangerously on the narrow beam, anger clearly shown on his face.
"I'm Kakashi, boatswain and Uchiha's personal cook."
"Uchiha's? Who’re they?" The word 'cook' had magical effect on the boy who suddenly became friendly and calm.
"Captain and his little brother" Came the answer. "I'm ordered to take you down because Itachi-sama wants you to..."
"No way!" Naruto cut off, not letting Kakashi to finish "I'm not going to listen to what that psycho wants! Never! Not in million years! I’d rather jump off than..."
"...join him for dinner?" Boatswain interjected and when he saw that the boy was still unsure he added: "There's ramen"
After 10 seconds of silence Naruto asked:
"What are we still doing here?"


#.#

"I must say ... you were really hungry..." Itachi murmured as he examined rows of empty ramen bowls which covered whole table in his cabin.
"Yup... ne Kakashi-san..." The boy smiled sweetly looking at the cook with big blue puppy-dog eyes.
"You STILL want seconds?" The white-haired man shook his head in disbelief while giving Naruto the last bowl. "If you keep up this pace we'll need to dock somewhere to replenish our supplies..." Before this sentence ended, yet another bowl ended up on top of shaky construction, made of dishes, chopsticks and huge load of luck.
"That would be all Kakashi," The Captain nodded towards the boatswain and Kakashi left without further delay. "So Naruto-kun..." Itachi focused his attention completely on the blond boy before him. In his hand was a knife (or rather, a small dagger) which was left from the dinner. He was playing with it, throwing and catching it in midair, or balancing the blade on the very tip of his pointer-finger. "I think we need to talk..."
'I knew it was too good to last too long...' Naruto thought preparing himself mentally for the conversation, which he knew would be neither easy nor pleasant.
"About what?" he asked but when he saw Itachis expression he realized he was missing something "...captain...?"
Itachi only nodded before he spoke:
"Well I thought it was quite obvious, but if you insist to play dumb..." He looked at confused boy."... Or maybe you're not plying..."
'I don't know why but I have a feeling that I'm being offended,' The blond thought, moving nervously on his chair.
"We need to get some things clear," Itachi stated.
"Yup."
"You're going to live on my ship from now on...agree?" It wasn't really a question, just a fact.
"Yup." Came another answer, but the boys’ eyes weren't fixed on captains face, but rather on the blade in his hand which moved swiftly and gracefully and totally ignored most of the laws of gravity.
'Like I have any choice...'
"You're going to listen to my every order..." The knife flew high up in the air nearly hitting the ceiling and came down only to land in agile fingers of the captain who, Naruto realized wasn't watching the blade, but him. "...and every order of Sasuke unless they're different from the ones I gave you earlier."
'You wish' He thought but nevertheless nodded his agreement.
"You'll get our tattoo with my crest later on," Itachi continued his speech. "So even if you succeed in escaping which is really doubtful, if you're seen with it you'll be hanged immediately." And he smiled... Evilly... Like usual.
'At least it won't hurt...' He consoled himself.
"Oh, and just to warn you...It'll hurt like hell, but it's bearable... for most people." A malicious grin graced the mans face and Naruto became suddenly very pale. "And just in case..." The smirk disappeared completely and his face was serious. Deadly serious. "If you ever...EVER try to disobey or worst escape- I'll PERSONALY punish you. And I can bet my whole ship with the crew..." Suddenly the knife left Itachis hand and now was about 3 millimetres from Narutos ear, still vibrating from the power of the throw which made it almost completely disappear in the wooden wall, so that only the hilt was visible. "...You won't like it."
'You mother fucker... I hope you die in agony…rot in hell you jackass...' As you can say Naru-chan wished Itachi only... pleasant experiences...
"Do I make myself clear?"
"Yup," And when he saw mans cold gaze he corrected himself "Um... I mean, yes Captain"

'OK... I think I've gotten myself in trouble.'


And he was right.

#.#

"Scrub it harder!" Kisame-yaro ... pardon ... Kisame-san yelled at Naruto, who was currently on his knees washing the wooden floor of the ship.
"If I scrub it any harder I'll make a fucking hole in the deck!" The boy yelld back, throwing dirty rag he was using straight in the man who made him clean the whole~ big~ ship for last... wait, how long was it already...1...2...oh, 6 hours.
The pale blue face became red when the man screamed:
"You little piece of shit! You think you can get away with this!?"

3 fast steps and shark-faced man held Naruto half a meter above the deck by his throat, successfully cutting off his oxygen supply. The boy started to struggle, trying to free himself from the suffocating grab, but he was way too weak to compete with bigger and stronger man.

After a while his vision went blurry and white snowflakes-like stains covered everything.
His legs stopped kicking the air and hands swung freely by his sides after letting go of Kisames wrists. He could hear his heartbeats getting slower and slower with every beat...

Suddenly strong arms grabbed his waist as he was pulled into tight embrace, cold hands removed from his neck. When his vision cleared a bit he saw Shark-man laying on the deck, arms clenching his stomach, face full of pain and anger. He wasn't able to stand up so he remained in that position, recovering from the powerful blow which had sent him flying.

'Suits you right, Sushi-chan' boy thought weakly.

A chilly hand gently soothed Narutos violated throat where Kisames fingers had left marks; red now, but soon became dark violet.
"You OK Naruto-kun?" Came quiet voice when Sasuke asked.
The younger boy wanted to answer, but the only thing that left his half-parted lips were some wheezing noises. He tried again, but it was still no good, and when he felt even weaker he passed out.
Sasukes pale skin became red with rage as he heard those answers and realised that the boy was unconscious. He turned towards Kisame who eventually managed to stand on shaky legs in front of him.
Then somebody put a hand on boys shoulder. When the teen turned around he saw his brother standing beside him with serious expression on his face and eyes locked on Kisame.

Captain needed only to raise his hand and 2 bulky man appeared before him awaiting orders which soon came. One of them took Naruto from Sasukes arms and carried him under the deck while the second one grabbed Kisames sword and pistol living him defenceless before the angry Itachi. The raven-haired man shook his head and in a short while the only ones left on the deck were him, Sasuke and Shark-man.

Kisame twitched when Itachi began to close the distance between them. Soon he was standing right before him, blank face and cold emotionless eyes making him look more like vengeance-full spirit than a normal human-being.

"Kisame..." His voice was like his facial expression- impossible to read. "I think I told you to take care of Narutto-kun, not try to kill him" He was quiet, waiting for the mans’ reply.
Shark-man shook his head, baring his sharp teeth when he hissed:
"Itachi-sama, this brat threw a filthy rag in my face!" And after composing himself he added more, trying to convince the captain of his innocence. "He didn't even work properly; he was slacking of every time I let him out of my sight!"
"Really?" And when Kisame nodded, his face showing first signs of hope, Itachi said: "Well if I recall correctly I told you to NEVER let him out of your sight, or was I wrong?"
Crimson pools of blood darkened as he reached out, his hand landing on Sharks neck, fingers moving slowly and gently, almost caressing the skin.
"Tell me Kisame... am I wrong?" He asked but without waiting for answer he tightened his grasp, sharp nails digging in, cutting the skin like knives, tearing it apart.
Shark-man tugged his head back trying to free himself, but he already knew that it was no good. Even though he was over one meter higher than Itachi and much more muscled, the smaller man was way stronger.

Suddenly everything ended. The strangling hold disappeared and blood flew freely from wounds previously cowered with slim digits, bathing his upper-body with crimson fluid which soon started to sink into his dark cloak.

"That was your first and final warning" Itachi said turning away and heading under the deck, Sasuke on his heals. "Next time you fuck up... Oh, I think you know, what will happen with you..."
Even though Kisame couldn't see captains face, he knew that there was a wide grin spreading there, as he mocked him.
'Just wait and see, you bastard... Just wait...' Shark thought, bending his head so enraged eyes and tightly closed lips would remain hidden if raven-haired man decided to once again turn towards him... But he didn't.

When the 2 brothers disappeared down the dark corridor, a shaky breath left his lips. As he raised his head, cold eyes locked on the spot where they melted into shadows. An evil smirk graced his face as he hissed quietly:
"Just wait Itachi...Just wait"

#.#

Once again Naruto woke up in unfamiliar bed, but this time there was no other body pressed against his. He was fully clothed, and it looks like he was covered with thin blanket earlier, which now was tangled around his feet.

The boy yawned widely, fisted hands wiping away tears from corners of his eyes, and looked around. He was laying on a narrow bed, which was occupying most of the space of a cramped room and was surrounded by cabinets filled with small delicate bottles, mugs and jars.

As he was debating with himself whether he should or shouldn't leave the bed, someone opened the door. On the other side there was a medium-height man with mop of dark-brown hair tugged into messy ponytail. He had a scar trailing across his nose and both cheeks.

The mans face was solemn but when he saw Naruto was conscious, he smiled a smile which reached his eyes.
'I like him already,' The boy thought and smiled back.
"I see you're awake, I'm glad" The man told the boy, as he came closer. "I'm Iruka, and I'm going to take care of you now. I'm a doctor here."
"...I'm...Na...ru..to" Teen tried to answer, but his throat was too sore to speak clearly.
"It's OK Naruto-kun, your windpipe is slightly damaged, so try not to talk too much." Iruka said handing the boy cup half-filled with some dark and sticky-looking liquid.
"Drink this, you'll fell better."
Naruto looked suspiciously into the cup, but nodded and drunk everything in one go... and just as he thought... it was awful- like most medicines.
"Oh, nice one Naruto" Doctor grinned again and said. "I think you earned yourself some reward with this brave behaviour... Anything you want?" Doctor asked not knowing yet that he would get himself into lots of trouble with this question.
'Ne, I think I'll be sick for quite some time.’ He smirked craftily as he opened his lips to pronounce only one word, which came out surprisingly easy:
"RAMEN!"

#.#

At the same time in captains cabin, Itachi and Sasuke were sitting alone, heavy silence between them.
"So... Sasuke-chan...want me to hug you again?" Itachi smirked mockingly as Sasuke smirked back, his face as frigid as his brothers, and answered:
"Go and fuck yourself... Aniki" He added after small pause. "I wouldn't hug you again even if you put a gun to my head." (a/n: Mangagirl D.J. This one is for u ;3)
"My my, such harsh words coming from such a little boy," Sasuke eyes narrowed as he gritted his teeth. "Oh, are we angry?"
"Aniki," Sasuke spoke after composing himself quickly. "How could I be angry at you?" An innocent smile graced his face; his eyes, however, could kill... and they tried. "You're my only family left after some fucked up psycho slaughtered our whole clan just to ease some pressure he had because he felt unloved and had some weird power-trip...oh wait a moment…Sorry, I forgot; that was you." He ended waving his hand.
"Yup, good old me... The same me that left one brat alive because he was so disgustingly weak it was not even worth it to throw a knife in his back... In his back, because that useless piece of shit didn't even have enough guts to face his family killer and die with honour."
"Right" The teen only said as he chanted in his mind:
>Go and die, Itachi; go and die, Itachi; go and die, Itachi; go and...<
"And why exactly are you here? I have work to do," He pointed at a pile of documents on his desk and then at the half opened door leading to the corridor. "If it's nothing more important than this staring-contest, then just leave... plan to revenge your family’s deaths or something..."
Sasuke shifted a little on his chair and shook his head.
"It's important" He started and pretended that he didn't hear the 'I bet.' that came from Itachi. "It's about Naruto" This surely attracted Itachi's attention. "Why did you give him to me? I don't get it."
"Well you wanted him... didn't you?" Innocent smile, much the same as the one Sasuke gave him earlier was now placed on Itachis face.
"Oh, for christsake, Itachi! You know perfectly well that I don't do boys! I only did that to piss you off. I'm not as sick as you are!" The boy stated, disgust shown clearly on his pale face.
"Sasuke, let's just say..." Itachis eyes left teens face for a split of second as he watched small figure which was standing in the door frame, and returned to meet his brothers gaze- move so fast that it went unnoticed by Sasuke. "... I see it as a challenge. You were trying hard and you proved that you totally suck both in battle skills and intelligence... I want to see if you can at least be persuasive and charming." Itachi said and smiled as Sasuke tried to sort out his thoughts.
"So you want me to... make him fall in love in me?" He asked eventually.
"Love...?" Captains smile turned into grin. "No I want you to fuck him." He stated as if that was the most obvious thing in the whole world.
"I told you: I'M NOT INTO MEN!" Sasuke shouted as his Nii-san only shrugged.
"Oh, big deal, there's no need to freak out. You already kissed him, that’s half way through."
"..." Sasuke commented.
"What?" Clueless Itachi asked rising an eyebrow.
"You really are sick! You don't know the difference between kissing and fucking someone? "
"Hey, I'm the older one here..." He said with hurt voice but some devious thought must crossed his mind as he smiled (or rather grinned) demonically (but only inside, his face retaining it's oh-so-bored look). "Well, just say you won’t do it. I win by default. You’re a useless piece of trash. Now get lost."
Ending the conversation Itachi turned towards the desk and reached for the document on the very top but Sasukes hand slammed on it, making all the papers scatter around in chaos.
"I never said I wouldn’t do it," He told Itachi.
"You surely didn't." His brother agreed. "Do you want to hear the rules?"
"Rules?" Sasuke looked a bit confused "What rules?"
Itachis oh-so-bored expression turned into why-the-God-hate's-me-so-much-and-gave-me-such-a-stupid-brother-? while he spoke.
"It's a challenge... it is supposed to have rules... it has to have rules... rules are very important." he explained as if he was talking to a four year old retarded boy.
"But Itachi... You never obey the rules" The boy wasn't as retarded as he looked ...
"Shut up" ... not that it mattered. "Well...you may be right..." Captain admitted and mused about it for a while and suddenly smiled. "I know... they're rules for you... not for me" And nodded grinning widely.
"Can I disagree?" Came a question...
"No."...and a short answer.
"I thought so," Sasuke rolled his eyes already used to his brother antics. "So what are the rules?" He asked.
"First one: You can't force him to sleep with you,"
>OK, that one is quiet understandable< He thought.
"Second one:...hmm...Nope, there is only one... Have fun." Itachi turned towards his desk once again to take care of his paperwork.
>....................right.......................<
"Oh, and by the way" Before Sasuke had even the time to move his Anikis eyes were, once again, fixed on him. "Why did you pretend?"
"Pretend?" The teen didn't understood.
"You were nice, sweet and candy when you were with him or when he could see you... why? Why did you bother?" Itachi was honestly curious.
"Oh, that..." Sasuke smirked. "I knew it would be better for me to have him on my side... but now with this competition... It was a lucky shot."
"So now you're going to lure him into your bed with smiles and sweet nothings?" Older Uchiha rather stated than asked.
"Yes he's too dumb to see that I'm faking it..." The younger brother smirked, but his grin disappeared slowly when he saw his aniki's expression. He felt that something was wrong, that he was missing something.
"So do you think this will work..." Sasuke opened his mouth to respond but realized that his brother wasn't talking to him, but to someone standing behind him, in the door. "Do you think this will work..." Itachi repeated. " ...Naruto-kun?"
"HELL NO!" screeched the boy, and Sasuke thought:
>OK, now I need another plan<


And if you ask me... that was a good idea.

That's it for chappy 2!
Review?