Snow

Well here is the second random one shot thingy! YAY! *crickets churp in background* Anyway, onwards and upwards. This the first of two parts.

Summary: Hinata has a dirty idea during her heartbreak.
One sided HinaNaru Hinted SasuNaru and Ita Sasu.

Genre: Pretty much compleat crack.

Warnings: Crack, Incest, OOC, Weirdness.

Porn: Part 1


It was a bright sunny day in Konoha when Hinata came to the realisation that Naruto would never love her. He was far too energetic to settle down. So she was going to let him go, she was going to get over him and move on. She was a powerful konouchi, hear her roar. Anyway…

Her only regret about this decision was that she, well, she would never, you know, get to see him, well, naked. Nude. In the buff. As nature inten-…. Ok you get the picture.

How ever having such life changing, thought provoking thoughts the second you wake up does strange things to a girl and, as such, this is where she thought up The Plan.

This is how she found herself an hour later sitting next to Naruto in the ramen stand trying to get him to agree to help her with The Plan.

The Plan was brilliant. A stroke of genius, if you will. As she lay in her bed that morning speculating on what Naruto looked like under that orange jumpsuit (and wondering how she could get a look) her mind drifted and she realised that there were many very attractive boys around her age (and some even older).

There was Shikamaru who (if Ino’s judgement of the boy was anything to go on) was really hot when he worked up a sweat.

Her team mates Shino and Kiba. Shino hid a lot more under his big coat than just his bugs as she had had the pleasure of finding out once and Kiba who had grown a lot since they were 12.

Of course there was the ever brooding Uchiha heir. ‘Now there’s a nice piece of ass.’ She thought leering at the ceiling. Actually, come to think of it, so was his brother. If you looked past his mass murdering shell, of course.

Garaa was attractive in an exotic way even if you had to grant him the same liberties as Itachi.

Even her cousin, Neji, was, well… Incest wasn’t that bad, right?

There were others like;

Lee (now his wardrobe had been changed)
Kankuro (just get rid of the make up)
Choji (after his weight loss)
And even some of the teachers like Kakashi.

If only she could have a look at them all. Only once. Maybe a picture, for keep sake. Although a picture of each maybe difficult to get them to do. Pictures in groups, maybe? Or how about a film…..?

That’s where her mind went wild and how The Plan was created.

And thus why she was sitting next to Naruto. Trying to convince him that going into gay porn was a wise career move and was better than sliced bread (or ramen).

The Plan was to make gay porn movies starring all the hot boys that she could find. The Plan even had its own plan on how she would do it. All she needed to do was convince Naruto. Then get him to go get all the other guys to join Hinata’s porn company.

It was fool proof. No one could resist Naruto.

This was why she was sat explaining The Plan to Naruto.

She already had one person on board. As unexpected as it was Sasuke had agreed to join her little venture on certain conditions (involving a certain blond, some chocolate sauce and a kitchen table), which she readily agreed to.

After much convincing (that this was all legitimate) and reassuring (that he would be paid a LOT of money) Naruto agreed to convince the other guys (of which there was an extensive list) and star in a number of movies.

Now all she had to do was convince a certain Uchiha that his older brother was very attractive and incest wasn’t nearly as wrong as people made it out to be.

Go on review. You know you want to.