The Rubber Band Odyssey

A/N: Hello again! I’m sorry that these first chapters are short. Believe me, the later ones make up for it. No warnings yet guys. Those come later. I thought I might answer some reviews!

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Devious Lil Devil: Thanks. There is more.

Houseki: Hehe. Akamaru is the only one who can eat that food. None of the other dogs are brave enough to try. And I will post them!

Anise: Thanks. I figure that Ino’s got enough of a temper that she would slap the crap out of Shika often enough. She’s probably a Cancer. They don’t like being ignored.

lo: Thanks. I love hearing that I’m doing a good job.

FlameofNight: Meh. I hadn’t found out what his mom was. So, I just gave her the default title of Genin. If you really insist, I can go to all four sites I have this posted on and change that, but I’m really not sure I want to.

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Legal Stuffiness: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters therein. Kishimoto Masashi, sole proprietor.

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Chapter 1: Ino and the Idiot

Sighing and staring at the enormous amount of food on Chouji’s plate, Ino leaned on her hand and rested against the wall of the booth. He always ate himself into the hospital…she hoped it didn’t come to that this time. The guy wasn’t half bad looking when he watched what he ate, but right now, the only watching he was doing was watching it go right into his mouth. A nudge to her ribs alerted her to someone trying to get her attention. Glancing sideways, she raised an eyebrow.

Bright glue eyes were wide with concern, and Naruto leaned close to her. “Is it really okay for him to eat so much?” Ino just shrugged. Chouji had eaten more than what he was now, and he was bigger than he used to be, so there was no telling. But just when she thought that he was getting worried, he whispered, “You know I’m still just a Genin….I can’t afford it if he eats much more!” Ino snorted. She had forgotten that in exchange for chakra training from Asuma, Naruto was paying for their food.

Picking up a chopstick, she reached across the table and poked Chouji. “Oi, Choji…” The boy looked up from picking the last bits from a rack of ribs. “Naruto’s paying, and he’s got rent to think of, so you might wanna go easy on him, okay?” Chouji frowned for a moment, but put down his food. “Thanks, Chouji. I’ll get you a couple bags of curry potato chips, okay?”

The Akimichi brightened up at the mention of his favorite snack, but his stomach made a noise that was not encouraging. Apparently, his heart-burn had already started. “Ugh…okay, Ino-chan…but later.” Ino laughed hard, as did Naruto, but Shikamaru just snorted once, and Asuma grinned around his cigarette. Chouji leaned back in his seat, and pulled something small and red from his pouch. Ino recognized it as one of the Akimichi family’s special pills. This particular one was to combat all manner of gastric ailments from upset stomach to heartburn and nausea. He threw back his head and swallowed the pill, and they all watched as it took effect. After about twenty seconds, Chouji relaxed considerably.

“Well,” Asuma said, “I have to get going. Gotta meet with Hokage-sama about a few things that will deal with next week’s mission. I expect you three to train between now and then.” Ino stuck out her tongue at her former sensei, who gave her a lopsided grin in return. They all knew that he was the laziest person they were acquainted with next to Shikamaru, and hardly ever trained, himself, now that he was at the Jounin level. Chouji gave Asuma a little salute, and Shikamaru just grunted. Soon after Asuma’s departure, they all got up to disperse, Chouji full, Shikamaru half-asleep, Ino annoyed, and Naruto’s pocketbook considerably lighter.

Ino and Naruto walked together, talking of various things, from why Chouji eats so much to how Shikamaru can be so lazy, and why the devil did he always wear his hair like that? It was because of that question from Naruto that Ino developed a devious plan. “Well, I don’t know, Naruto. I couldn’t say, really. He’s worn his hair in that stupid ponytail for as long as I’ve known him.”

The boy blinked rapidly. “You mean that you’ve never seen it any other way?” Those big blue eyes held such innocence that Ino was almost sorry to do this…almost.

Shaking her head and replying offhandedly, she said, “Nope. Not once. Sort of like Iruka-sensei, isn’t it? I mean, he never takes his out either.”

Naruto made a dismissive wave of his right hand. “Nah, I’ve seen Iruka-sensei without his hair up…plenty. I’ve been to his place overnight to watch bad kung-fu movies, and we eat ice cream and ramen and goof off. He looks kinda like a girl when it’s down…but just a little. Not a pretty girl or anything. Just a girl.” Naruto was starting to blush a little, because it was obvious that he was verbally digging himself a nice, deep hole, and there was no hope of him getting out of it without some help.

Ino nodded, dismissing his comments to his usual brainless behavior. Three years training with one of the world’s greatest ninjas surely hadn’t smartened him up at all…or at least so it seemed. “Ne, Naruto?”

“Hm?”

“Do you ever still play pranks?” Her blue eyes glanced over at him covertly through her hair, and he made a non-committal noise. “Not like…painting faces on statues and yanking down Konohamaru’s pants. Nothing like that. I mean ones that require cunning and skill; that if you pull them off, those who are pranked develop a respect for you that they never had before. You ever do those?” She had hooked her bangs behind her ear, and was staring at him now with such earnest (yet completely fake, somehow) curiosity that there was no way that he could have resisted, even if he knew that she was playing him like a finely tuned biwa.

They were now stopped in the middle of an empty street, not two blocks from the Yamanaka Flower Shop, and Ino was starting to wonder if this was the right place to talk about this. She waited, nonetheless, for his answer. She couldn’t exact her revenge on Shikamaru without a patsy, and Naruto was the perfect patsy. Innocent, nice, and you would never suspect that he would ever do anything like what she had planned. He blinked slowly at her, digesting the requirements that she had just listed, and then smiled sheepishly. “No, Ino-chan…I can’t say that I have. Sounds like a good test of my newly acquired top-notch ninja skills, though!”

Ino’s lips curved into a cat-like grin. “Does it now?” When he nodded, she looped her arm through his, and gently tugged him forward. “Come with me, then, o Master of Pranks. I have a challenge worthy of your expertise.” A confused look washed over Naruto’s finely placed features, but he complied. Hook, line…sinker. Ino thought, and then she wondered if it was really fair to manipulate him in this way.

Then, she just forgot all about it when she remembered what Shikamaru’s shadow had done to her earlier in the week.

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The early morning breeze blew in through the partially open window, rustling the curtains and bringing to her nose the scent of the flowers in the greenhouse next door. Ino lay in bed still, even though her alarm had been silenced twenty minutes earlier. The great thing about having Shikamaru for her immediate superior was that she barely ever got up any earlier than 7:45 am, and that’s the way she liked it. This morning, though, he and Chouji were late.

Suddenly, she felt as if something were slithering up her leg. Waiting to see a snake, she looked to her lower half, and in that instant, the black thing making its way toward her torso moved with lightening speed, jabbing her in the shortribs, and tickling her mercilessly.

“Gyaaaaaah!” she squawked, and the shadow (for that was truly the nature of the thing) retreated back out of the window. “Shikamaru! You’re dead!” Flying around her room, Ino threw clothes on, washed her face, and quickly made herself presentable before hurrying down the stairs and out of the door to slap Shikamaru across the face. It was actually rather gratifying, but not enough.

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She sat on her stool behind the counter, waiting for his response. “Well?”

“Well what?” Naruto groused, leaning on a cooler, “That’s the dumbest prank in the world.”

One blonde eyebrow rose, and Ino smiled sadistically. “Oh, you think it is. But that’s where you would be wrong. This is the best prank that can possibly be pulled. It’s not just any old joke. This is a jounin level shinobi we’re talking about, and Shikamaru is also a genius.” When he seemed unconvinced at the validity of the joke, she threw in, “Oh. I get it. You’re scared you won’t be able to outwit him, right?”

“Who said I was scared?” There was a heavy undertone of indignation in Naruto’s voice, and his sapphire-blue eyes were darkened with sudden anger. Ino had to be careful now. Handling him when he was like this was a prickly situation, and she didn’t want to have him do anything rash. Yet.

“Naruto, I wouldn’t blame you, really. Like I said, he’s smarter than you and me combined, and I think maybe he’s smarter than even the Hokage, so—“

“Are you saying that I’m stupid? ” The leather of his sandals creaked as he shifted, muscles obviously tensing as his anger swelled. “Ino, I’ll have you know that I am not as dumb as you might think. Three years I’ve been gone…and not all of it was just to train my body.” Tapping his temple, he said, “This got quite a workout, too.”

Now Ino was laughing on the inside. He was playing right into her hands, the poor thing. “Well, then…perhaps you wouldn’t mind making a little bet?”

Suspicion filled his gaze as he said, “What kind of bet?”

Ino smirked. “I bet you…twenty credits that you can’t pull, break, or otherwise destroy or remove Nara Shikamaru’s ponytail. He’ll eat you alive.”

“Oh, yeah? Well…” he shoved himself off of the cooler (which held roses) and leaned toward her, his face mere inches from hers. If this was what it was like when he got angry, then Ino thought Sasuke must be really strong. She was about to wet herself. There was something in the back of Naruto’s eyes that told of a wild, less than civilized part of his personality just begging to be let loose. “Well,” he said more calmly now, putting Ino even more on her guard, “I bet you that I can do it in three days. Double or nothing.”

“Ha! Even if I gave you a whole week, you still couldn’t do it.”

“Could too! But I’ll do it in three days.”

“Whatever. You can’t.”

He pressed his face close to hers, his nose brushing against hers, and his breath warming her skin. Ino got a strange prickly sensation in her stomach that she didn’t understand. Naruto’s voice came out deadly calm. “Then I accept the bet and counter it with mine. Forty credits says I can get rid of Shikamaru’s rubber band in no more than seventy-two hours.” One slender eyebrow rose, and Ino blinked at the self-satisfied expression he had. Two pairs of blue eyes met, clashed, and held each other, a battle of wills ensuing. Neither gave ground, and neither would, as they continued to stare at one another, their noses touching, and Ino growing more uncomfortable by the second as that prickly feeling spread. “Well? What’s your answer, Ino? You gonna back out now?”

“No! I just…” What the hell? How did she suddenly become so inarticulate? Was she getting sick? No, that wasn’t it. It was that stupid feeling in her stomach. It just wouldn’t go away, and the longer he stayed bent down toward her, the more intense it became. It was making her want to do something, anything to make that feeling go away. “F-Fine,” she finally bit out, her body trying to lurch forward, but she caught herself just before her forehead bumped his. Naruto’s face took on a sly look as he made his exit, the tense air in the room dispelling. Ino sighed in relief before picking up a paper fan and using it to sooth the flush that her face had taken on. She really was not used to the close proximity of really pretty boys (more’s the pity, since they came into the shop quite often).

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A/N: Again, I apologize for the brevity of this chapter. The first two bits are basically to suck you in. Then, I keep you under with the longer chapters. Hehe. Review?