Soft Option

AN: Thank you for reading, and special thanks to all who reviewed!



lo: Was it really that bad... Was it so vapid, like saying 'It's OK'?

ZeldaFitz: Yep, he's a real craven in these things ^_^

ashley: ^_^ I hope I will not disappoint you

ALD: Nice to see you again ^.^

Anise: Kakashi has a weird train of thought and his own way to deal with things... poor Iruka ^.^





Beta'd by the marvellous Juxtathought!





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Kakashi was annoyed. He had been consumed by his thoughts for three weeks now. Thoughts of a certain brunette chuunin. Iruka hadn't come to talk to him. Actually, he seemed to be avoiding Kakashi. It didn't make any sense. Damn it! Kakashi stumbled on a rock. He quickly looked around, just to be sure no one had seen it, and then he continued on his way like nothing had happened. This wasn't like him at all. It would have been a disaster if someone had seen him floundering around. Him. The famous and feared Copy-nin. This was no good.



No matter what he did, his thoughts wandered back to that night. Iruka was the only thing occupying his mind lately. He had waited and waited for the chuunin to make contact, but he never did. Kakashi had been "around" more than usual. He wanted to be there, to give Iruka a chance to talk with him. He had been in restaurants, at grocery stores, and Ichiraku's. He had even been in the Hokage's office more often than usual—but still the brunette never said anything to him.



Kakashi kicked a stone. The chuunin had avoided eye-contact whenever they had been in the same room. Jeez. I wasn't that bad, he thought. He sighed heavily. It was not like him to obsess over something so trifling as sex. And he certainly was not obsessing over Iruka. Still, the chuunin used to give him such nice smiles whenever they saw each other and now he just avoided his gaze.



What was the matter with the chuunin? After all, Kakashi was very well liked by both men and women. And always after a night spent together, they wanted more of him. The night with Iruka had been way better than anything he had had before. Oh yes, the sex had been something he had never even dreamed about. Not to mention how eager Iruka had been and how magnificent a body he had. The tanned skin. His nut-brown hair loosely hanging. How silky it had been slipping through his fingers. How beautiful the younger man had looked with his hair framing his face and the flush on his cheeks. Those chocolate brown eyes closing as he lowered his head and kissed those soft lips.



And what's with the people around him? He's never alone. There's always someone with him, Kakashi brooded. Not that he had thought of talking to Iruka himself. No. That wasn't it. As a matter of fact, he wasn’t waiting for Iruka to come and talk to him. He didn't need anything from the chuunin. Actually, he could stop thinking about the chuunin any time he wanted to.



Kakashi lifted his eyes from the road. The three genins of his team were waiting on a small, wooden bridge. The black haired Uchiha was looking as angsty as ever. Naruto was telling some goofy story to awaken Sakura's interest, in vain. The pink haired kunoichi looked like she was about to explode. Kakashi smiled to himself. Naruto had better stop or he's going to get hurt—bad, he smirked.



"Yo!" Kakashi greeted and waved his hand.



"You're late," Sasuke stated.



Sakura was already at Naruto's throat and hitting him. Kakashi sighed. Then he clapped his hands and told them to listen up. The girl turned her back to Naruto angrily and threw admiring glances at the raven haired boy. I don't need this. There are so many other things I could be doing right now, Kakashi pondered. I could be reading Icha Icha or I could be hanging around Hokage's office or the academy, trying to catch a glance of...



"Yes. Well, today's exercise is Kawarimi no Jutsu. You’re going to practice replacing your body with a nearby object, smoothly. I know it's a basic jutsu, but it's vital to learn to do it fluently."



"What, still no missions?!" Naruto shouted.



Kakashi could see the blond pouting. Soon, he would be foaming about how he could never become a Hokage if he didn't get any missions. The boy sure has the spirit. And he has some hidden talent for sure, but he needs to grow up a bit first. Determinately he rushed Team 7 to begin training. When the young genins drew their kunai, he made himself comfortable under a large birch and pulled the latest book on the Icha Icha series from his pocket.



After a few unsuccessful tries, Kakashi gave up reading and just stared at the pages in front of him. Maybe he doesn't like me. Or maybe he was disappointed in me in some way, Kakashi contemplated and dodged a water balloon. Naruto never learned that he was always aware of his surroundings and would never be caught with such an obvious attack. Though this time the balloon had missed him only by inches. Absentmindly, he turned a page. Maybe I should do something about it. Say hello to him or get him into a situation where he could not possibly ignore me.



Kakashi lifted his eyes from the book. The Uchiha had already completed the exercise, Sakura almost had it and, to Kakashi's great surprise, Naruto had figured it out as well. He watched as the pink haired girl tried three more times and finally got it. They had all managed to switch places with a log smoothly enough to fool an enemy. Kakashi snapped his book shut and stood up.



"Well done, everyone. You can take the rest of the day off," he said with a smile.



As Kakashi followed the path back to the village, he could hear his team calling him lazy. He really was lazy. He did care about Team 7's training and it was one reason why he did not want to teach them now. He could not concentrate properly. What's the matter with me? I shouldn't be distracted like this, he blamed himself. This can be dangerous, I really need to get my head straight. Naruto had almost hit him with his water balloon. It had never been so close before. If a balloon thrown by Naruto got so close to hitting me, a skilled enemy with a kunai would have definitely succeeded. He sighed, it could not be helped. He had to speak to the chuunin.







It was late afternoon. Iruka would be leaving from the Hokage's office at any moment now. Kakashi leaned against a tree. The cool shadow gave him shelter from the blinding sun and prying eyes. He had been standing there, waiting, for hours now. He had thought of going in and confronting Iruka, but he did not want to make a public scene. After all, he didn't know how the chuunin would react. He had contemplated many different ways to express himself to Iruka. As the hours passed, he had decided that 'straight to the point' would be the best approach.



Finally the door opened and Iruka stepped out. He looked as joyous as ever as he walked briskly past the tree Kakashi was leaning on, his brown ponytail whisking from side to side. Kakashi shadowed him, waiting for the right moment. Iruka took a short cut through a quiet park. This is my chance, thought Kakashi and unstealthyfied himself. Iruka turned around sensing him.



"Oh, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka said lively.



Something has changed! Kakashi noted. He hasn't talked or smiled at me in this way for weeks. The smile on Iruka's face did not falter. It seemed to be a genuine smile. Something about it made Kakashi worry though. This was not what he had expected.



"Yo," Kakashi managed.



Iruka gave him a nod and was about to turn and walk away.



"Why have you been avoiding me?" Kakashi blurted out.



Iruka froze. Slowly, he turned to face Kakashi properly. His face was serious, just for a moment, then the frighteningly gentle smile rose back on his lips. Now Kakashi was truly taken aback.



"Kakashi-sensei, you shouldn't be thinking such silly things. I'm not avoiding you." Iruka's voice was soft. It crept Kakashi out.



"But... I've been waiting for you to come talk to me." Okay, that wasn't something he had planned to say.



"Really? And about what?" Iruka said smiling.



"Well, you know... About you wanting to see me again." Shit, that didn't come out right!



"Hm. Is that so? I don't see why I would want to meet with you again," Iruka answered, still smiling gently.



Without waiting to see if Kakashi had anything else to say, Iruka turned and walked away. Kakashi was left standing there, dumbfounded. This doesn't make any sense. He's been acting like he’s angry or something and now all of a sudden he's smiling and telling me he doesn't want to see me again. Kakashi scratched his head. He really was not good at this stuff. But, at least one thing was certain: he did not need to think about the chuunin anymore in that way. Iruka had made it crystal clear. He did not want anything to do with Kakashi anymore.



The sun was setting, colouring the thin layers of clouds orange and red. Kakashi sat on a bench. He didn't feel like going home. 'I don't see why I would want to meet with you again.' Iruka's words echoed in his head. Why do I feel this way? Why does those words sting so painfully? Kakashi wondered. It's not like I have any special feelings for Iruka. I just expected him to want more from me. I wan... expected him to like me. And what's with that smile? It had been really creepy. Kakashi could have handled an angry Iruka shouting at him, but a smile like that...



As the sun vanished behind the horizon, the realization sank in. So this is how it feels like to be rejected. A smirk rose on Kakashi's lips. He was finally beginning to understand his feelings. Behind all he had told himself, it was he who wanted Iruka. This was new. It had been a long time since he had anyone special in his life. He had already forgotten how it felt to care for someone, to want someone for who they were. For so long it had been only about sex—about sweaty, primal need. Usually, after a night together, he did not want anything more from his sex-partner. The brunette academy teacher had awoken something inside him. Something he thought had died years and years ago.



The darkness of night was enfolding Konoha into its velvety embrace. Kakashi sat still, his eyes fixed on a small rock on the path. How stupid had he been? How could he have waited for Iruka to make the next move? Now that he thought about it, it must have been rude to leave like that and then expect the other one to run after him. But everyone else had done it. They had given Kakashi glances of want and admiration. They had tried to get more. But not Iruka. Kakashi lowered his head to his hands. I'm such an idiot. But how could I have known I would develop this kind of affection for the man? He had to face it. Iruka had been the only thing he had been thinking about. The chuunin was illegally sweet and cute. And now with his own actions, he had pushed him away.



The first light of the morning seeped between the leaves. Kakashi sat in the same position, still staring at the same rock. No matter how hard he thought, he hadn't found an easy solution to his situation. He had never been good with relationships, so maybe it was better to leave this one alone. Iruka didn't want to see him, so it would be easy. If he just waited long enough, his feelings would give up and fade away. Then he could go back to having one-night stands. This sweet tortured feeling inside him would slowly wear itself out and everything would be fine. Just fine.



"Morning, Kakashi-sensei. Have you been sitting here all night?" Iruka said brightly.



Kakashi lifted his gaze. He looked around, stunned. He hadn't noticed it was already morning. Then he turned to face the chuunin. His voice was joyful, but a hint of worry shaded his eyes.



"Hai. Oh, and good morning, Iruka-san," Kakashi answered.



"You should take a warm bath; it was a chilly night," Iruka said warmly and continued his way to work, waving his hand.



Kakashi nodded. He watched as Iruka walked away. He's always worrying over others. He's so warm-hearted. I really shouldn't get involved with anyone as sweet as him, Kakashi thought. When Iruka had walked out of sight, Kakashi rose up. His legs were reminding him how dumb it was to sit in one position over a chilly night. He stretched his limbs and headed home.