Beautiful Dreamer

A/N: Well, that first chapter was really just a little tease. Hehe. I hope you didn’t get bored. It was short, so you shouldn’t have. This one…if you’re hoping for yaoi in this chapter, you might have to wait. There’s some het, but it’s transient, so don’t worry. You’ll get your Genma/Kakashi later on. Hehe. I’m an evil tease, I know. Bet you can’t guess who he’ll molest THIS time! If you do, I'll give you cookies! But there's really no way for me to know if you actually do, since I do tell you...oh, to hell with it. Just read and enjoy.

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DevilLived: Thanks, darling. I’ll keep it up as long as I can stand the heat.

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Chapter 2: Doctor’s Orders

Now, he thought, on to the hospital. The sun was altogether too bright. For a moment, he wished that he had a pair of Shibi’s sunglasses. That might solve the slight problem of the nagging headache he was getting. A few people got hurriedly out of his way when they saw the death glare he was giving the general populace, though most of them just looked at him curiously. In short order, the hospital loomed ahead. When he pulled open one of the doors, he heard a very loud voice.

“UZUMAKIIIIIII!!!!!!” Genma jumped out of the way as an orange blur zipped past in a wheel-chair. Close behind stalked the Godaime Hokage. She was furious. The boy had apparently commandeered a vehicle to tear through the lobby. The blonde Sannin looked at Genma. Her brown eyes narrowed. “I’ll be with you in a moment.” Her finger poked into his chest, and he swallowed hard around his senbon. Panic rose like a wave of sickeness in his stomach. What did she mean? He spotted Shizune, and made a move to speak with her, but heard Tsunade say, “Shiranui, I don’t want you to move from that spot. I told you I’ll deal with you. Understand me?”

“Hai. I will not move, Hokage-sama.” He was in a state of panic, now. Shizune was looking at him with sympathy, and he wondered what the hell was going on. Well, if he couldn’t move, he would get the dark-haired medic to come to him. Crooking a finger at Shizune, he watched her as she approached warily, one eye on the blond woman now wrestling Naruto to the ground and hog-tying him so that she could get him back into his room. “Shizune-chan, please. What is she pissed at me for? I didn’t do anything!”

The woman simply gaped. “You mean to tell me that you don’t remember barging into her office last night and—“

“Shizune! Move your skinny ass and take this baka-yaro back to his room!”

Shizune squeaked, jumping in place, and then scurried off to fulfill the order given to her. Naruto was giggling madly as she threw him over her shoulder to bring him upstairs. He had been rather distracted by this, so he didn’t see the busty Hokage stop and stand before him with her hands on her hips. He suddenly became aware of his world tipping sideways as he was hauled off of his feet. Tsunade had picked him up and thrown him over her shoulder. “This day just gets better and better…” he muttered under his breath.

“What was that, Shiranui?”

“Nothing, Hokage-sama.” He just let himself be man-handled, because his dignity simply was not worth getting his skull cracked—or any other bone in his body, for that matter. After about fifteen minutes of enduring stares, whistles, cat-calls, and a very creative bout of euphemisms from Hatake Kakashi, he was set down on his feet in the circular room that was the Hokage’s office. He took a minute to straighten his clothing, and to take out a new senbon, since his first had fallen out of his mouth when they passed the sweets shop, where Anko found his position to be rather amusing.

“Well?” Tsunade asked, her fisted hands on her hips. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

Sighing heavily, Genma said, “I’m sorry, Hokage-sama. I—“

“Shut up, idiot. After last night, I think you can call me Tsunade.” Her voice had softened just a bit, though she still looked madder than a March Hare. If he thought he was panicked before, he suddenly knew that it had not been true. What had he done? He was getting the feeling that all of the women of Konoha got a visit from him and his puppy-dog boxers the previous night. At least none of them seemed as if they were trying to kill him.

“Fine then…Tsunade-san…I don’t know what to say. I don’t remember anything I did last night. I was sleep-walking or something.”

All emotion melted from Tsunade’s face, and she looked at him for a long moment. Then, she started laughing. Her peals of laughter shook her entire body, and it took her holding onto her desk—which was in utter disarray—to keep her from falling over. Finally, after what had to be at least five minutes, she stood up straight and wiped her eyes of tears. “Genma…that’s terrible.” It didn’t seem as if she found it to be terrible. For crying out loud, she was still laughing…

“Tsunade?”

She looked at her desk, fingers trailing over the crumpled paperwork and toppled pen jar. “That’s just terrible.” Her voice came out in a low half-growl, half-purr, and Genma was waiting for her to smack the crap out of him. “It is…because I remember everything.” She walked toward him, and shoved his shoulders. The backs of his knees came into contact with something soft, and he fell back, onto a long blue sofa. Tsunade sat opposite him, and began to speak.

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11:20 p.m., the previous night.

Tsunade was groaning. There was way too much paperwork, and Shizune wasn’t helping. The younger woman had just dumped another stack of it on her desk. “I hate this stuff. Can’t it wait until morning?” Shizune shook her head, and pointed at the foot-thick stack she had just set down. “Fine. Just leave me be.” Taking up a pen and the top report, she sighed, resigned to another late night of going cross-eyed from reading the terrible penmanship of various and sundry Jounin, Chuunin, and Council members.

Shizune’s sudden squeak pulled her eyes from her papers, to look at her assistant. The woman was blushing madly, and staring at the doorway. There was Shiranui Genma, standing in the wide-open doorway, clad in nothing but a pair of blue silk boxer shorts, which had…was that puppies? Oh, now that’s just far too cute. He was watching her from the doorway. It had been some time since anyone had the gall to even attempt to look at her like that. His eyes slid from hers to Shizune’s, and his head jerked slightly to his left, indicating that she should leave the room…now. The young woman had no problem complying with the silent demand. She was, apparently, rather mortified at seeing her fellow Jounin in such a state.

Tsunade, for her part, was about to deliver a blistering set down, when the Special Jounin shut the door behind Shizune, then walked over to her desk. Something about that walk reminded her of a cat. Not just a cat. It wasn’t lazy, or sluggish, the way cats usually move. It was the way a cat walked when it was stalking something. And then, there was the strange expression on his face. He looked very satisfied with himself. He looked as if he knew something that she didn’t.

“Is there something I can do for you, Shiranui?”

He stopped just in front of her desk, and pursed his lips slightly, tilting his head to the side as if in thought. Then, a smile that could only be described as dirty spread over his face. “I don’t know, Hokage-sama…it depends.”

One of her thin, blond eyebrows rose at his tone. It was…suggestive. “And what…pray tell, might it depend upon?” Her voice was stern, brooking no nonsense. That ought to set him straight.

The dark-haired Jounin then hopped over her letter-box, and sat on her blotter, his feet dangling on either side of her chair, over the edge of the desk. Tsunade could do nothing but blink up at him. “It depends,” he began, leaning down toward her very stunned face, “On how flexible you are.” Shock. That’s it. She was in shock. That’s the only way she could explain not punching him into the next life when he slid off of the desk and into her lap. Shiranui Genma, Special Jounin, was straddling her, with his legs over the arms of her chair, and she was trapped. It had to be shock that held her in place. Otherwise, she would never have allowed him to lean forward and kiss her.

First, it was slow, and quite sweet. But as Tsunade had always suspected of the orally-fixated man, it couldn’t stay that way for long. She soon felt teeth on her lower lip, biting it lightly, followed by a tongue, soothing the skin and tasting her lip-gloss. Her only thoughts, shocked as she was, ran something along the lines of: Wow.

It had been a very, very long time. That was the only explanation for why Tsunade opened her mouth. She could deny it and say she was going to say something, but it would be totally pointless. His agile tongue slid past her lips, and proceeded to do things she was unaware that muscle could. Okay, so she could admit that the kid was good. And…she could admit that it had been close to…ten years since she’d woken up hung over from a night of drunken sex with that daimyo (which she didn’t even remember!), so she could also admit that it might be nice to cut loose for a few minutes and show this guy just how flexible she still was.

And so she did. Her hands came up to a tanned and…rather nicely muscled chest, and gave a shove. Genma flew backward, landing on his back on Tsunade’s desk. He blinked up at her as she stood over him, then he grinned. She wasn’t sure that she had seen a smile that sexy in fifteen years.

Pens fell to the floor. Paper flew, as did clothing.

Outside, Shizune covered Ton-ton’s little pink ears, all the while her own were a deep shade of red, which matched her face. Moans echoed through the corridor, and Shizune wished that she could put a jutsu on the door to muffle the noise. Especially when Tsunade started screaming…

Oh, did she want to put up that jutsu. That was just too much for her fragile brain. Tsunade-sama and sex just did not mix. And the woman wasn’t even drunk. Sighing, Shizune settled down in her desk outside the door, and waited. It took another two hours of traumatizing moans, screams and thumping sounds before there was finally silence. Two minutes later, Genma staggered out of the office, a very satisfied smile on his face.

He didn’t seem to notice her. Shizune was glad. When she peered into the office, she found Tsunade lounging, naked, on top of her desk, trying to rub an ink stain from her shoulder. The woman looked so…relaxed that Shizune couldn’t help herself. She giggled. “Tsunade-sama…is everything okay?”

The blond woman flipped her pigtails over her shoulders, and smiled lazily. “Yes. It is. It’s amazing what being good and screwed can do for you, Shizune. You should try it some time.” That had the younger woman scurrying out of the room, and the Hokage laughing heartily as the doors slammed shut behind her. Ton-ton squealed behind Shizune as they both made a bee-line for the stairs. Neither one of them wanted to hear those words come out of Tsunade’s mouth again. Ever.

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Genma sat, stunned. “You mean that me and you…” He gestured to the space between them. Tsunade nodded, her eyes sparkling. “And I was the one who started it?” His voice came out as horrified as his face looked, and the Hokage pouted at him. “Oh, it isn’t that you aren’t attractive, Tsunade-san. I think you’re a very beautiful woman! But…it was very inappropriate for me to do that. I apologize.”

“No apologies are necessary. If it was bad, then yes, I would say you should tell me that you’re sorry.” She was leaning across the couch now, her hand on his knee. “But it wasn’t bad. It was very not bad, Genma. And if you ever want to repeat that incident…” Her hand traveled up his thigh to where it met his hip, and then down, between his legs, causing him to jump. “…I wouldn’t mind in the slightest.” Genma had to close his eyes and will himself not to become aroused. He was starting to get the feeling that ‘little Genma’ had gotten quite enough exercise the night before, and didn’t want to injure himself. Especially not with the Hokage of all people. Not much scared Genma, but this woman had him nearly pissing his pants at the moment.

There was nothing like an unwanted erection to wake you up in the morning…or snap you out of a daydream, or musings about how scared you are. It was, perhaps, his fear that made his erection so much more evident. The hand that had been resting on his crotch was now kneading…and he was not going to sit there and let her. She might be the leader of hundreds of shinobi, but he respected her far too much to just let her molest him. Again. So, he stood up abruptly, and made his apologies before beating a hasty retreat. “Shizune!!!” He yelled as he slammed the door behind himself.

The woman popped up, seemingly out of nowhere, and said, “What?”

Genma grabbed her, and started dragging her to the door. “I need you to examine me, Shizune. I don’t want to repeat last night. Ever.”

“Thank you, Shiranui-san…my ears are agreeing with you.” He stopped dead in his tracks, and turned around, a shocked look on his face. She stammered, “Tsunade-sama is…she’s rather…v-vocal…” Genma’s eyes widened to a painful extent, and he groaned. Gathering her composure, Shizune said, “We don’t have to go to the hospital. I can just use one of the spare rooms. Come with me.”

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He followed her down the hallway, and into one of the filing rooms. On the door, there was a sign that said, “Dead Files”, which meant that they would most likely not be disturbed. When Shizune closed the door behind them, she said, “You really don’t remember?” Genma shook his head. “That certainly is interesting. Stand still.”

Her hands glowed green with chakra, and he found that there was a strange warmth filling his body when she pushed the chakra into chest. The medic closed her eyes, probing. A small smirk formed on her lips. “Have you ingested anything strange lately, Genma?”

“Not that I know of. Why?”

Shizune snorted. “It looks like you’ve been fed some kind of love potion. It effects the brain only when in sleep. Someone wanted you as their little bit of stuff, it seems, and didn’t want you to know about it.”

“But if that’s the case, then how did I go whoring myself to all the women of Konoha?” he blustered, wanting an answer, and wanting one now.

Shizune sighed. “There are two possibilities. The first is that something went wrong when the compound was attaching itself to your pineal gland, and therefore just switched your libido into overdrive without giving it a target. Second, there’s a chance that it wasn’t really meant for you.” Now that was a very distressing and very short list of choices. Genma wasn’t at all happy with the results of his exam.

“Can you get it out of my head, then?”

Shaking her head, Shizune said, “No, I think to find the person that did this, we need to keep it in there. But, we need to station someone nearby. You’ll need to be observed. Closely.”

“While I go and screw anything with two legs?” Shizune snorted at his outrageous claim. She said something to the effect of he didn’t have to worry about her, because she’d kick the crap out of him before she’d let him do anything to her. “Are you sure? The Hokage couldn’t resist…I guess I’m really charming when I’m asleep?”

“Believe me, Genma, you’d have to do a lot better than that to get me to sleep with you.” She smacked him. “Go see Kakashi. Tell him that our bar bet will be settled if he baby-sits you for a week.” Genma groaned. Kakashi? He didn’t want to talk to that bastard. The older ninja wasn’t going to let him live down the fact that he was carried like a sack of rice over a woman’s shoulder down the main street of town, receiving cat-calls and very confused stares. But if that’s what Shizune ordered, then he would have to abide by it. You never go against the doctor’s orders.

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It was three in the afternoon on a beautiful day. For once, the tree he sat in was comfortable. Uchiha Sasuke was below, meditating, while Haruno Sakura was practicing a strange brand of chakra control exercise that he wasn’t sure was working. Moving objects with chakra alone was extremely difficult, especially if your body wasn’t touching the target. The short pink-haired girl was determined, however. She wasn’t—and never had been—happy with the amount of progress the other members of her team were making in comparison to herself.

So, she sat in the middle of the clearing, on a flat rock. There was a pebble on the ground in front of her, and she was trying to reach out to the thing with wispy tendrils of chakra. Kakashi had to give the girl credit for her spunk. That girl would exhaust herself just as thoroughly as Naruto and Sasuke to get the results she wanted. In fact, he was pretty sure that all three members of his first teaching team would turn out rather exceptionally well.

As he went back to skimming page fifty of Icha Icha Violence, he felt the presence of one of his fellow Jounin. Kakashi looked up. Staring down at him from his crouching perch on a higher branch was Shiranui Genma. Behind the cloth of his mask, he grinned. It had been entertaining to watch him carried down the street by the Hokage. The only shame was that he hadn’t had a camera. “Heya, Shiranui. Did Hokage-sama spank you?”

The dark-haired man flinched, making him curious. Instead of answering his admittedly infantile question, Genma dropped a small scroll onto his head. Before it could bounce down to the ground, Kakashi caught it, breaking the small blue blob of sealing wax. Impressed in it was what he recognized as Shizune’s personal seal: a pair of kunai crossed behind a six-pointed star. It read:

Kakashi—

You are to cease any training with your team, and aid Genma in finding out who has poisoned him. He will tell you the details. I trust that you can figure this out quickly. If you get it done in less than a week, consider our bet settled.

--Shizune

For a long moment, he read and re-read the slip of paper. When he was finished, he looked back up at Genma. “You don’t look poisoned. You look pissed.”

Dark eyes flashed warning. “Wouldn’t you be pissed if someone dosed you with a love potion, but didn’t hang around to let it take effect? I’ve been screwing any woman that I can find—including the Hokage—in my sleep.”

Now this was interesting. “I take it that we’re going to have to keep this quiet?” A nod from Genma was all he got in return. Kakashi cleared his throat momentarily. “And how are we to go about this? Let nature…er…take its course?” Genma blushed slightly. Kakashi gave a small sigh. He had never taken Genma for a prude, but hey, who was counting? “Let me dismiss the Munchkins, then we can go collect my things.”

Kakashi slid from his branch, landing silently on the grass below, only ten centimeters from Sasuke’s left knee. “Yo,” he said, and the boy cracked an eyelid. “You two are dismissed. I have a mission to do, so you’ve got pretty much a week to yourselves. And tell Naruto not to train too hard when he gets out of the hospital, or I’ll put him back there myself.”

Sasuke gave a snort when the young blonde was mentioned. He never did seem to have a very high opinion of Naruto. There would come a day, Kakashi thought, that he might have his mind forcefully changed for him. The dismissal of his team finished, he looked back to the tree. Genma was no longer in it. Instead, he was leaning against its trunk, standing on the ground. Well, the man was an assassin, so being sneaky was his specialty. Therefore, it made sense for him to be able to get one-up on just about anyone…Kakashi was going to have to keep a very close eye—perhaps even both of his eyes—on this man.

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A/N: Hm. I wonder. Did any of you guess that it would be Tsunade? Hm…I don’t think you did until the part where she said he could call her by her given name…but that’s neither here nor there. At least I didn’t get graphic…I agree with Shizune. Tsunade and sex is a scary combination. Now, were I to do a flashback to his time at Kurenai’s place, that would be different. But I won’t. I’ll let you imagine what happened.

Genma: Why do you have me being a slut? I’m always the slut!

anti: You’re not a slut, darling. It’s the potion. I love you too much to really turn you into a slut. That’s Sasuke’s job.

Kakashi: When do I get some action?

anti: If you’re good, and don’t piss me off, maybe next chapter.

Kakashi: *pouts*

anti: That never works on me. *waves to the readers* Until next chapter!