Title: Your Wish Is My Command
Fandom: Naruto
Pairing: KakashixIruka
Rating: NC-17 for later chapters
Summary: Iruka gets hit by a jutsu and is left unable to make a decision on his own. When someone to look after him is searched, Kakashi can’t flee fast enough. Poor him?
Spoilers: Slight spoilers for the events right before the time-skip.
Disclaimer: Don’t own.

Your Wish Is My Command

by nayru-kleinefee


Chapter 2

“Good morning, Iruka”, Kakashi greeted the Chuunin the moment he emerged from his bedroom. “How do you feel today?”

“Tired, hungry and bored”, Iruka told him after a long moment of contemplation.

“Oh, we can’t let that happen, can we?” Kakashi grinned, happy to have something to delay what he was fearing to do and to distract him from the questions making his head spin since the last evening. “What about you take a shower now, we eat afterwards, and after we’ve been at the Hokage’s we find something to entertain you?”

A soft frown, then, “Okay.” Then Iruka turned towards the bathroom.

“Iruka?”, Kakashi stopped him, then fidgeted on his place while the Chuunin waited for him to talk. “Iruka… what… what do you want for breakfast, lunch and dinner?”, he choked out finally, his eyes to the floor.

Only silence answered, and the Jounin didn’t have to look up to know that Iruka’s eyes were empty again. He didn’t want to see it.

-----

“Iruka, would you like jam or honey on your roll?”, Kakashi asked, then held his breath in anticipation and didn’t move a muscle not to influence the Chuunin’s decision in any way.

For almost two minutes, Iruka just sat there, frowning and looking from the glasses in front of him to the Jounin and back. Then he finally said, “I would like… honey?”

“Perfect.” Kakashi knew that it had been barely a decision and that he was grinning like a fool, but he couldn’t care less.

-----

“I talked to Ibiki just now”, Tsunade said. “He told me that our assumptions were right. The jutsu lowered Iruka-sensei’s inhibitions immensely.”

“Ah”, Kakashi only murmured. He knew that already, had had a quite impressive demonstration the former evening.

“And there’s something else.” The Sannin sighed and looked at the Chuunin sitting on a chair and looking curiously at the many scrolls inside an open drawer of a cupboard next to him.

“What is it?”, Kakashi asked, watching Iruka reach out towards the cupboard and then take his hand back again unsurely.

“Ibiki found out that the jutsu also decreases the ability to hide or withstand emotions. I’m afraid that Iruka-sensei will act very much on impulse in the next time and won’t be able to hold back when a strong emotion is taking hold of him.”

“And that means?” Now Iruka was reaching out again and ran a finger over a particularly colourful scroll.

“I guess he’ll just… just act accordingly. Not hold back, you know.” Tsunade shrugged. “When he’s sad, he will show it, maybe even cry although he wouldn’t if everything was alright with him. Or if he’s angry, he’ll probably shout and lose his temper.” She grinned softly. “More than usual, I mean.”

“Oh.” Kakashi didn’t even want to think about seeing Iruka cry. It was so much better to see him glance at Tsunade from the corner of his eye and bite his lip while he seemed to try to find out whether it was alright to take the scroll.

“But he should also show you quite clearly when he’s happy. Like yesterday with Ton-Ton.” Tsunade smiled. “If the whole situation wasn’t such a mess, I would even say that it’s nice to see him so carefree for a change.”

“And… and if he likes something?”, Kakashi asked carefully. “I mean, if he likes doing something, then would he say so? And… and mean it?”

“I guess.” The Sannin shrugged. “That will certainly make it easier for you to find out what he likes to do.”

Easier to find out. Kakashi bit his lower lip to keep himself from laughing bitterly. Then he went over to Iruka and gently pried the scroll out of his curious fingers before the Chuunin could unroll more of its text than, ‘Highly confidential – For the Hokage only’.

Iruka pouted deeply and only stopped when the Copy-nin promised him to get him beef ramen from Ichiraku’s. For second breakfast. But when he saw Iruka smile, Kakashi found that he could cope with that.

----- ----- -----

“Iruka, what would you like to do now?”, Kakashi asked while he threw away the empty takeout boxes.

Iruka frowned. Then he frowned more. And then he looked at the Jounin with an utterly confused expression.

“It’s fine”, Kakashi told him softly. “Don’t worry, Iruka.”

It should be enough that he did.

----- ----- -----

Iruka was sitting on the windowsill again, Kakashi observed while he futilely tried to read his book. The Chuunin’s face showed an expression of content and peace, but also a little confusion, just like it always had done after he had started to take notice of his surroundings again. The Copy-nin would have liked to help him get rid of the confusion, but didn’t know how and, furthermore, was too confused himself. He still couldn’t grasp why Iruka had come so close the former day, had all but cuddled up against him. They didn’t know each other at all, they had never been friends, had always gotten into fights. So why had the Chuunin said that he liked to be close to him the last day?

And why hadn’t Kakashi wanted to disagree, to send him away?

It had felt weird, that much he knew. Weird to have a man so close to him. A man! If Iruka had been a woman, the Copy-nin could have told why he hadn’t tried to push him off, but… but why hadn’t he-

Kakashi jumped in surprise when suddenly the couch beside him dipped. He looked to his right to see Iruka sit beside him. The Chuunin looked back a little worriedly.

“Everything’s fine, Iruka”, Kakashi murmured hastily. “I was just thinking.” About the Chuunin, about his nearness, his warmth.

“Good.” Iruka smiled softly, then moved closer slowly.

“Iruka, do you think this is a good idea?”, Kakashi asked hesitantly but didn’t move to get away.

Iruka frowned a little. “Yes”, he said simply before he moved next to the Jounin’s right side and lifted his legs over his lap until they crossed the Copy-nin’s. Then he squirmed a little until he could lean the left side of his chest against Kakashi’s right and place his head on his shoulder before he wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Iru… Iruka”, Kakashi whispered breathlessly. “Iruka, why do you do this?”

“It feels nice”, the Chuunin told him after a little hesitation. “Warm. Safe.” He snuggled even closer. “And you smell good. Like fresh leaves.”

Kakashi swallowed hard, then looked at the pages of his book without seeing a single word. He only noticed that Iruka had left him to go to bed some minutes later when he felt cold suddenly.

----- ----- -----

“It tastes weird.”

“I’m sorry?” Kakashi looked up from cutting onions for lunch, almost nicking his finger in the process. He tried not to look too surprised at seeing Iruka speak on his own accord, but inwardly did a happy dance. A very manly, very Jounin-like happy dance.

“It tastes weird. That word, I mean.” The Chuunin frowned.

“What word?” Careful now, he couldn’t seem too interested in any particular fact of what Iruka was talking about, else he would risk to shatter this new, probably still fragile willingness to speak. It had taken Iruka almost a week to do so, so he had to be very, very careful. Although he really would like to know how a word could have a taste.

“That word. You know, the one I am not supposed to hear.”

“And that tastes weird?”, Kakashi asked, rather surprised that the Chuunin was aware of his condition.

“It’s like… like something I taste, and I know what it is and how to call it, but I can’t tell.” Iruka frowned deeper. “Or something like that.”

“Can you think the word?”

“I don’t know. I know and can think of its meaning, and then describe it with other words, but I can’t remember to have thought that particular word.” The Chuunin sighed. “It’s as if I have a black spot in my mind.”

“When… when you looked at my book, did you read the word there?”, Kakashi asked. ‘Want’ had to have been on the page opened. Hell, a word more often in Jiraiya’s books was probably only ‘di-’”

“I can’t remember”, Iruka whispered and sighed again. It sounded almost defeated and Kakashi cringed inwardly.

“It will be better soon”, he assured, cursing whoever had invented that damn jutsu. It would have been bad enough if it had only affected Iruka in the way it did, but that he knew about that made everything even worse.

“I hope so. I don’t like this… taste.” Iruka looked at the Jounin’s hands, then went to the kitchen counter and started to prepare the meat.

-----

“Are you finished with the vegetables?”, Kakashi asked while he stirred the meat and onions in the pan.

“Yes.” Iruka handed him a pot filled with various chopped vegetables.

“Thanks.” Adding them to the meat, Kakashi kept stirring the food while he watched the Chuunin from the corner of his eye. Iruka seemed to be much better than the last days. During the preparation of the meal, he’d talked freely and moved without hesitation. It gave Kakashi hope that everything would really be alright again for him.

“Smells good.” Iruka moved to stand beside him.

“We’re a good team in the kitchen, don’t you think?” Kakashi smiled. Iruka was a good cook with an extraordinary taste. He’d added spices to the food that the Jounin would never have thought of.

“M-hm.” Iruka nodded, then suddenly wrapped his arms around him.

Kakashi jumped at the unexpected touch and let the spoon fall to the stove with a loud ‘clank’. He hastily grabbed for it but missed and instead accidentally pressed the side of his hand against the hot pan. “Gah!”

“Kakashi!”, Iruka gasped and yanked the Jounin’s hand away from the stove and towards him. “You burned yourself!”

“That’s nothing”, Kakashi assured, blushing slightly. How embarrassing! He was a Jounin, for Konoha’s sake! Jounin weren’t supposed to jump like a scared rabbit at a touch and then miss a simple spoon just to burn their hands in the process.

“It’s burned.” Iruka dragged him by his hand towards the sink and let cold water run over the burn. “I’ll get salve and-”

“That’s not necessary.” Kakashi took his hand out from under the stream although it started to hurt worse immediately after. But he was a Jounin, he had his pride, dammit! He didn’t need to be pampered.

“But you have to-”

“Stop it, alright?!”, Kakashi snapped. “I’m fine and-” He broke off when he saw that Iruka had frozen at his command.

“I’m sorry”, the Chuunin murmured softly, sadly, and looked to the floor. “I just tried to help.”

“That’s… I…” Kakashi looked at his sad, hurt expression and felt bad, so very bad for snapping at him. “Look, I’m sorry”, he sighed. “I didn’t wa- intend to snap at you or order you around.”

“It’s fine”, Iruka whispered, his voice giving away that it wasn’t, and Kakashi knew that it wasn’t.

“I’m sorry”, he repeated. “Can I still ask you for that salve? And a plaster maybe?”

“In the first drawer”, Iruka told him, pointing with his finger but still looking hurt.

“Here in the kitchen?”, Kakashi asked while he opened the drawer and found the tube of salve and also a box of plasters after a short search.

“I burn myself often here.” Without looking him in the eye, Iruka took the salve and opened it, then also took the Jounin’s hand gently and applied the cool gel on the burn.

“Wow”, Kakashi chuckled to cheer him up a little, “and here I thought I was the only clumsy shinobi in the village.”

Iruka smiled softly while he gently massaged the salve into the burned skin. “I’m only a little clumsy. And only in the kitchen.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t tell either”, Kakashi offered, lowering his voice to a low whisper.

Iruka’s smile brightened until it was a grin and he looked up. “Okay”, he whispered back, covered the burn with a plaster, then held the Jounin’s hand up for him to see. “Better?”

“Yes, very much. Thank you.”

“Good.” And then, to Kakashi’s greatest surprise, Iruka lifted the hand to his face and tenderly kissed the plaster. “My mom always did that”, he told the stunned Copy-nin. “Always made me feel better.”

“Oh”, was all the Jounin managed to get out while he stared at his hand. The burned skin still prickled and hurt, but somehow… somehow it wasn’t that bad anymore.

----- ----- -----

One, two, three, four, five days, Kakashi counted. For five days he had sat on the couch every evening, and Iruka had come to sit so close to him for some time. And every time Kakashi had neither told him to leave nor known why he hadn’t. And it was so frustrating, so confusing not to know what he wanted. All his life he had known that, so why not now? What was there about this Chuunin that his genius mind couldn’t grasp? What was so special about him that he had these effects on-

“Kakashi?”, Iruka’s gentle voice interrupted his musings. “Don’t you feel good? You’re frowning.”

“Hm?” Kakashi blinked. It was still a little surprising to hear the Chuunin talk so freely on his own since Iruka had only started to do it that day. “No, everything’s fine, Iruka. I’m just… just thinking.”

“You think a lot in the evenings.” The Chuunin smiled softly. “Can’t you find an answer?”

“Doesn’t seem so.” Kakashi forced a smile on his face. “But it’s… it’s nothing important”, he lied.

“Okay.” Iruka smiled again. Then he stood up from his chair and walked over to the couch.

Kakashi opened his mouth to tell him not to come over, not to sit close to him, not to confuse him anymore. He would tell Iruka to not come close at all anymore, that he didn’t like it, that it wasn’t right. And he probably should tell the Chuunin that he had to find someone else to take care of him.

When Iruka sat down beside him, Kakashi didn’t say a word.

When the Chuunin wrapped his arms around him and threw his legs over his lap, then cuddled up against his side, the Jounin stayed silent.

When Iruka slowly lifted his head and looked him in his one visible eye, seemed to hesitate and then leaned his head forward very slowly, Kakashi didn’t move a muscle.

When he felt lips on his masked ones, warm and gentle, Kakashi froze completely and didn’t move until Iruka leaned back again, smiled softly and then left the room to go to bed.

----- ----- -----

“Good morning.” A yawn.

“Good morning, Iruka.” Kakashi hesitated. He would have to use the word again. And he could use it to find out what Iruka thought about him, why he had kissed him the last evening. “Iruka?”

“M-hm?” The Chuunin smiled at him.

“I… I wa- … I would like to know… I…” Kakashi sighed. “What do you want for breakfast, lunch and dinner?”

Iruka’s smile vanished instantly to make room for blankness.

Kakashi closed his eyes and swallowed hard to get rid of the painful lump in his throat and chest. There was more than one way to abuse. And he wouldn’t go any ever again.

-----

“Iruka?”

“M-hm?”

“Would you like jam or honey on your roll?”

“Mmmh…” Iruka frowned and it took several moments before he answered, “Neither. I would like cereals for breakfa- Kakashi? Is everything alright?”

“Yes!” The Jounin bounced up to get the box of cereals, a silly, happy, completely goofy smile under his mask.

----- ----- -----

“I’m still a little surprised that you two get along so well”, Sakura said for about the hundredth time that afternoon.

“But. We. Do.” Kakashi had to use all his self-control not to glare at his former student. Was it that unbelievable?

“Yes”, he heard Iruka agree, and the thought of how much the Chuunin’s condition had improved over the last days caused a small smile to curl the Copy-nin’s masked lips. Iruka still was hesitant to make decisions on his own accord, but not only did he talk quite often by now, also did he take on activities he seemed to like, such as reading, cooking and even singing. The Jounin had been very surprised at first to hear the soft, gentle voice ring through the apartment, but by now he enjoyed hearing it more and more every time.

“I’m glad.” Sakura smiled. “I always thought that it was a shame that you weren’t friends.”

“Such a luck then.” Kakashi forced a smile. Friends… He was quite sure that he and Iruka had become friends. What he wasn’t sure about at all was everything that went deeper than friendship.

“Naruto will be happy.” The young kunoichi smiled even wider. “He was always complaining about how you were getting on Iruka-sensei’s nerves all the time.”

“Brat…”, Kakashi murmured.

Iruka laughed softly. “Kakashi’s not that bad.” And as if to prove his point, he moved closer to the Copy-nin until he could snuggle up against his side.

“Oh”, Sakura breathed and Kakashi could see her eyes go perfectly round.

“Iruka…”, he whispered. “Maybe you shouldn’t do that…”

“But I like it.” Iruka tightened his hold around his waist and pouted.

“Kakashi-sensei…”, Sakura started hesitantly. “Since when… what… why…”

“Some days. This. Because he likes it”, Kakashi gave back harshly, wondering why he felt so defiant and even a little angry at her at the moment.

“I like this”, Iruka whispered and snuggled even closer. “I like being with Kakashi.”

The Jounin felt himself blush deeply under his mask, seeing Sakura do the same across the room. He cleared his throat. “So, Sakura… How’s your education with Tsunade going?”

----- ----- -----

“Iruka, what would you like to do now?”, Kakashi asked although he didn’t have much hope to get an answer. Iruka was alright to make a decision between two or more things offered to him or when he saw what was possible, but a decision completely independent from any suggestions hadn’t been in his reach again yet.

So, for a long time, Iruka only looked at him, frowning.

Kakashi sighed. “It’s fi-”

“I would like to go outside”, Iruka told him softly.

Kakashi stared. Then he stared more. That… tha- wha- wha-

“Can’t we?” The Chuunin’s voice sounded sad, disappointed.

“We… we…” Kakashi blinked. “We can!” He jumped up. Alright, out of the window would be best. And then over the roofs as fast as possible not to have anybody talk to Iruka, and then they would hopefully make it out of the village and into the forest without anybody seeing them and then-

“Where will you jutsu us?”, Iruka asked.

“Jutsu?”, Kakashi asked back, then groaned. “I’m so stupid!”

“You’re nice.” Iruka smiled warmly and stroked over his masked cheek. “Thank you, Kakashi.”

“A… always”, Kakashi murmured. Or at least he would try his best.

-----

Kakashi looked around worriedly. Where was Iruka?! He’d only lost sight of him between the trees for a second, and then he’d suddenly been nowhere to find anymore.

“Iruka!”, the Jounin yelled, feeling himself starting to sweat from concern. What if somebody had found the Chuunin? And then taken him away? Or noticed his condition and seen the possibilities? What if somebody was-

“Gotcha!” And then suddenly something impacted in his side and threw him to the ground forcefully.

Kakashi gasped and whipped his head around from his position on the forest floor on his back to see what was lying on his chest and-

“Iruka!”

“Ha! I caught you!” The Chuunin grinned down on him, then hugged him and snuggled against his chest. “Now you’re mine”, he declared.

“I… that’s…” Kakashi wasn’t sure what to say to that. He wasn’t even sure what to feel or think about it. Only that he would have to remember that keeping Iruka inside for a week resulted into a hyperactive, playful Chuunin.

“Again!” Iruka jumped up from his chest and ran off. “You won’t be able to catch me!”, he yelled back over his shoulder.

“In your dreams.” Kakashi scrambled to his feet and sprinted after his prey.

-----

“Kakashi?”

“Hm?” The Jounin looked up from his Icha Icha he’d pretended to read while he’d been watching Iruka, then smiled when he spotted a leaf still in the Chuunin’s hair from their walk, more run through the forest. “What is it?”

“I…” Iruka bit his lower lip. “Naruto told me about your nin-dogs.”

“Did he?” Kakashi put down his book and waited for more to come.

“Could… could you call them?”, Iruka asked softly.

“Sure I can.” Kakashi grinned, happy that the Chuunin had requested something on his own. “May I ask why?”

“I… I would like to get to know them. Naruto said they’re nice.”

“Well, they can be.” Kakashi’s grin broadened. “But all of them would be a little too much at once, I guess. What about I summon only Pakkun for a start? He can talk best.”

“Please do so.” Iruka smiled at him happily.

“Alright.” Kakashi took out a kunai from his back pouch and pressed the blade against his thump until blood came, noticing Iruka flinch a little at that, then he formed the seals for the summoning jutsu and pressed his hand flat onto the couch table. Immediately, a cloud of smoke rose and the silhouette of his pug appeared.

“What is it, boss?”, he asked and yawned. “Scared of your own apartment suddenl-” He broke off and frowned. “Not your apartment.”

“Indeed”, Kakashi gave back dryly. “Iruka’s apartment.” He looked up at the Chuunin looking at the pug curiously. “Iruka, this is Pakkun. Pakkun, this is Iruka. He wa- He asked to get to know you.”

“Hey”, Pakkun greeted. “Nice to meet you. You’re that loud kid’s former teacher, right?”

“That’s right.” Iruka smiled at him. “It’s nice to meet you, too, Pakkun.”

“Then do you mind if I ask why you wan-”

“Pakkun!” Kakashi grabbed the pug before he could end his sentence. “Never say the word ‘want’ if Iruka listens to you, alright?”, he whispered into his ear. “Never, that’s very important. I’ll explain later.”

“Fine, fine, boss”, Pakkun snorted. “And now let go of me, alright? I don’t really like to be cuddled like some little girl’s teddy bear.”

“Fine”, Kakashi growled and set him down again. He didn’t really like to be compared to a little girl cuddling a teddy bear.

“You don’t like to be touched?”, Iruka asked softly, sounding a little disappointed. “I thought all dogs like to… to have their ears scratched or… or to be given belly-rubs.”

“Well…” Pakkun tilted his head. “I don’t really mind that, at least not if it’s done well. But I highly doubt that that’s the reason why the boss summoned me. Or why you wa- asked to see me.”

“I… I…” Kakashi could see Iruka blush deeply. “But I…” He sighed. “I’m sorry, Pakkun. I guess I… I didn’t understand that you’re… you’re not an ordinary dog. I’m sorry.”

“Iruka”, Kakashi called softly. “Iruka, why did you ask me to introduce you to Pakkun?”

“I thought I could… I thought I could…” Iruka whispered something, his voice too soft to be heard.

“Iruka.” Kakashi smiled. “Tell us, will you?”

“I…” The Chuunin sighed. “I never had a pet, you know. My parents were always away on missions and I was too young to take care of one on my own, and when I was older…” He swallowed. “Then they weren’t with me anymore. But when I remembered that you have dogs, I thought that I maybe could…” He looked away, blushing again. “I wondered how it is to…”

“Iruka, would you like to pet one of my dogs?”, Kakashi asked, smiling softly. It was so very Iruka to be hesitant to ask for something so trivial, to be shy about it. It was endearing.

“Yes”, Iruka breathed. “But it’s alright. If Pakkun doesn’t like that, I mean. I can understand that.”

“I can summon another dog, I’m sure one of the others will be happy to get-”

“Would you like to feel my paw?”, Pakkun interrupted. “It’s very soft and bouncy.”

-----

Kakashi wasn’t sure how things had come to where they were now. At first, Iruka had hesitantly, shyly touched Pakkun’s paw and assured that it was indeed very soft and bouncy. And then the Jounin hadn’t wanted to believe his ears when the pug had asked to be scratched behind his ears. Pakkun hadn’t even let him do that once he hadn’t been a pup anymore! And then a belly-rub. A belly-rub! And, as if that hadn’t been enough to turn his whole worldview upside down, Pakkun had happily played hide-and-seek with Iruka.

No, Kakashi wasn’t jealous. After all, whom should he be jealous of? Iruka? Just for him being allowed to play with his dog? No way! And jealous of Pakkun? Just because he’d been cuddled and petted by Iruka? Why should he be jealous of that? Hu? It wasn’t as if he wanted Iruka to cuddle with him, now was it?

Was it?

“This is nice”, Iruka whispered softly. “So nice…” He yawned.

Kakashi looked down at the Chuunin’s face, still a little flushed from his play with his dog, and couldn’t help but smile softly. Iruka was lying on his back on the couch and had his head placed on the Copy-nin’s upper thigh while Pakkun was lying on his stomach, obviously enjoying immensely how the Chuunin stroked his back. Kakashi found that he liked the picture.

“Am I too heavy?”, Iruka asked, his voice thick from sleepiness.

“Not at all”, Kakashi whispered back. The Chuunin was warm and having his head on his thigh felt a little… unusual, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.

“Mmh…”, Iruka sighed and then Kakashi watched him close his eyes. It didn’t take long until his hand stopped stroking Pakkun’s back and fell limply by his side.

“Iruka?”, Kakashi asked softly but didn’t get an answer apart from a sleepy grumble. “Why did you let him pet you?”, he asked his pug instead. “You never let anybody do that.” And Gai had once almost lost a finger when he’d tried to. That had been fun.

“Why do you let him lie on you?”, Pakkun asked back. “You never let anybody do that. And I also never saw you stroke anybody’s face.”

“Hm?” Kakashi suddenly noticed that he’d absentmindedly stroked a stray strand of hair from Iruka’s face and felt himself blush. “I… I…”

“He’s nice.” Pakkun carefully moved down from Iruka’s stomach. “Smells nice, too. I wouldn’t mind to have him around more often.” And with a last look at the Copy-nin he was gone.

Kakashi looked down at the sleeping Chuunin next to him. What was so special about Iruka, he couldn’t help but wonder. What was so special that he could even make the stoic Pakkun act like a little pup again? So special that he could even make the supposedly imperturbable Copy-nin not know what he was doing?

-----

Kakashi awoke with a rather nasty pain in his neck and at first didn’t know where he was. He blinked and slowly turned his head, winced at the pain, then recognised Iruka’s living room. Seemed as if he had fallen asleep on the couch. Sitting. And, a look to his thigh confirmed, with Iruka’s head still on his lap. Heh.

“Hrnmph…”, Iruka murmured in his sleep, frowning, before he rolled to his side. He scrunched up his nose, and Kakashi couldn’t help but think that it had to be the cutest thing he’d ever seen.

“Hrmmh… hnn… hnaa…” Iruka’s nose scrunched even more. “Chuu!”, he sneezed suddenly, and Kakashi immediately knew that he had been wrong earlier, because that had to be the cutest thing ever.

“Hm?”, the Chuunin questioned sleepily, blinking.

“Hey, sleepy”, Kakashi whispered softly. “What about you go to bed now?”

“Bed?”, Iruka murmured, still blinking, before he sat up slowly.

“Bed”, Kakashi laughed. “I can understand that you felt like moving today after having been caged in here for more than a week, but maybe the twentieth round of hide-and-seek was a little much for our sleepy Chuunin? After running around in the forest for hours before that, hm?” He really didn’t know why he was talking like that, he’d never done that before. But… it somehow seemed right at that moment. He blamed it on his own tiredness.

“Don’ make fun of me”, Iruka murmured, yawning. “Could have played with us.”

“I don’t think Pakkun would have ever again respected me if I had crawled on my fours under the table.” Kakashi grinned at the memory.

“You’re just too oh-so-mature.” Iruka made a face and then even stuck out his tongue.

“Iruka-sensei”, Kakashi gasped in faked shock. “And that from a responsible teacher!”

“Only when I’m at work.” The Chuunin grinned.

“Ah, such indecency.” Kakashi pressed the back of his right hand against his forehead and feigned indignation. “Shocking.” He winced when his neck reminded him of his earlier sleeping position.

“Stiff neck?”, Iruka asked sympathetically. “Turn around, I’ll make it better.”

“Oh, that’s… you don’t have to.” Kakashi suddenly was painfully reminded of what he’d done to the Chuunin on their first day.

“I don’t mind.” Iruka sat up on his knees. “Come on, turn around.”

“I better not.” Kakashi shook his head.

“Why not?”

“I…” Here it was, the moment of truth. “You don’t remember, but I… I made you massage my neck once. And cook dinner for me.” Kakashi couldn’t bring himself to look at the Chuunin next to him. “I’m sorry.”

“You… made me? You mean, you used the word?”

“Yes”, Kakashi breathed. “I regret it, really. I shouldn’t have done that. I promise I will never again-”

“Why did you do it?”

“Because I was stupid, egoistic. I didn’t really think about it, didn’t understand what I did to you, but when I did, I…”

“It’s fine”, Iruka whispered. “I forgave you already.” His hands were placed on the Jounin’s shoulders gently. “I didn’t know what you did back then, but I could see that you were very sorry. That’s why I forgave you.”

“Thank you”, Kakashi whispered softly. “I promise I will never again do something like that to you.” He turned his head to look at Iruka while the Chuunin’s warm hands did wonders to his aching neck.

“I know.” The hands slowly moved from the Jounin’s shoulders around his neck and met on his chest, Iruka embracing him from behind. “I know, Kakashi.” He tilted his head and gave him a soft kiss on his masked lips. “I trust you.”

Kakashi swallowed hard while he watched Iruka stand up and leave the room to go to bed. Trust. Trust was something he wasn’t willing to give easily. But somehow, Iruka had already taken it from him.

----- ----- -----

“I’m back!”, Kakashi announced when he entered Iruka’s apartment with his arms full of groceries. “And I have a surprise for you.” Perfectly ripe, unbelievably sweet and juicy, deep red cherries.

“What is it?” Iruka poked his head out from the bedroom.

“Can’t tell you.” Kakashi grinned. “Else it’s no surprise.” And no fun.

“What is it?” Iruka went towards him and followed into the kitchen.

“Sensei…” Kakashi shook his head. “A little more patience would be suitable for-”

“Don’t care.” Iruka took one of the bags from him with only a little bit of hesitance and a tiny look at the Jounin for consent, then stuck his nose inside. “I like surprises.”

Kakashi laughed. “You’re rather nosy. But you won’t find it in there.” The Chuunin would if he would just look into the small paper bag right in front of his face, but he wouldn’t tell him just that.

“Swap.” Iruka exchanged the bag in his hands with the one Kakashi held, then went to taking out the groceries one by one. “Milk… miso paste… carrots… apples…”, he murmured.

Kakashi watched him, grinning broadly. He would never have imagined that the supposedly stern and mature Iruka-sensei could have such a playful streak in him. But it certainly explained why every mini-shinobi in the village adored him so much.

It maybe even explained why Kakashi could hardly restrain himself from pouncing on the Chuunin and hugging him senseless.

“It’s not in here”, Iruka’s voice woke him from his musings. “Unless you think you could surprise me with bread and cooking oil.”

“It’s not in there?”, Kakashi asked innocently. “I wonder where it could be…” He slowly, obviously hid the other bag behind his back.

“Gimme?” Iruka’s eyes were glued to the half-hidden bag and he held out his hands but his voice was a little unsure still.

“You already chose one of the bags”, Kakashi reminded him.

“You tricked me. I… Gimme?” The Chuunin’s eyes became bigger and looked at him pleadingly.

“Cry me a river.” Although the eyes were quite impressive. But that Umino Jutsu of Breaking wasn’t enough.

“Gimme?” A pout was added.

“Don’t think so.” But it was getting harder to resist.

“Gimme.” The pout increased and the lower lip even quivered a little.

“Nope.” Now that show was impressive, Kakashi had to give him that. Aaand there hadn’t been a question this time. No, it had been a demand almost. Yes!

Iruka went from pouting to glaring. “Gimme or I… I…” He frowned. “Or I’ll hide your dirty book.”

“It’s in my vest.” But a good try. And an attempt at blackmail was so, so, so much better than pleading!

“I’ll oversalt the soup for dinner.”

“I can get takeout.” The book-thing definitely had been better.

Iruka growled softly and crossed his arms in front of his chest, but then suddenly grinned in what could only be described as a positively demonic way. “Gimme my treat or I’ll wait until you’re asleep and then shave your eyebrows, dye your hair turquoise and write ‘I will never again deny Iruka a surprise’ on your forehead.”

“Yeah, sure”, Kakashi snorted. But it was inventive.

“You think I can’t do that?” Iruka arched an eyebrow. “Who do you think shaved Genma bold last year?”

“That was you?!” Kakashi stared at him. That prank was legendary. The Special Jounin had never been able to find out who had done it and neither how it had happened.

“I could do that with you, too, but that would be too easy.” Iruka smirked and held out one of his hands. “Treat or turquoise.”

Kakashi looked at him. That Chuunin had to be kidding, he couldn’t really think that he was able to pull that stunt on him. Hell, he was Sharingan Kakashi, Copy-nin, master of a thousand jutsus! And Iruka was… was…

Looking reeeaaally confident and smug.

And Kakashi hated turquoise.

“I would have given it to you anyway”, he told the smirking Chuunin and took the paper bag with the cherries out of the bigger bag.

“I know.” Iruka took the treat, grinning. “But isn’t it so much more fun this way?” He opened the bag and immediately smiled brightly. “Cherries! Thank you!” He put one in his mouth and munched on it happily.

“Hey!” Kakashi laughed, happy that they had finally reached a point where Iruka would demand something. “Leave some for me, will you?”

“Here.” Iruka held one out for him, but then his smile faltered when he seemed to remember that the Jounin wore a mask. “Oh. Erm…”

“For dessert?”, Kakashi suggested, knowing that Iruka was too considerate than to try to take a peek at his face.

“Okay.” Iruka nodded and put the cherry back into the bag. “Miso soup with eggplants for dinner?”

“Perfect.” Asking for something, blackmailing to get something, demanding something – so perfect. Everything went smooth.

-----

“Why do you wear that mask?”

Kakashi coughed on his mouthful of soup he’d just meant to swallow. He gasped when he finally managed to get air back into his lungs, then choked out, “Iruka… why did you ask that?” He was very happy that Iruka was willing to talk on his own again, but sometimes his lack of inhibitions was quite unsettling…

“I was wondering.” The Chuunin shrugged and grinned – something he was doing more often with every passing day. And something that always made the Copy-nin’s breath hitch, just because it looked like life, warmth and joy personified.

“I guess you’re not the only one”, Kakashi answered evasively. He didn’t particularly enjoy talking just about that topic.

“You don’t like to talk about it.” Iruka nodded. “That’s fine if you don’t wa-” He broke off and frowned deeply.

“Iruka?”, Kakashi asked worriedly.

“What did I say?” The Chuunin frowned, then grinned sheepishly. “I guess I forgot.”

“It’s fine, Iruka.” The Copy-nin smiled in relief. In the last days, Iruka had tried to say the word ‘want’ a couple of times and always reacted like this. He wished the Chuunin would have been able to say it, but as long as trying didn’t make his eyes look empty, it was good enough for him.

“So… for how long have you been wearing that mask then?”, Iruka asked, throwing the Jounin into another coughing fit.

“Iruka, I… I don’t really w- like to talk about it.” Kakashi looked down at his hands. If his harsh answer had upset the Chuunin, he didn’t want to see it.

“Oh. I’m sorry, Kakashi.”

“It’s alright.” The Jounin smiled reassuringly at him.

“That’s good.” Iruka smiled back, then he lifted his hand to touch Kakashi’s masked lips with his first two fingers before he leaned forward slowly.

Kakashi froze. So far, Iruka had kissed him five times, always one kiss in the evening just before the Chuunin had gone to bed. This was new, and he wasn’t quite sure how to react.

When he felt gentle lips on his masked ones and warm hands on his cheeks, Kakashi closed his eyes only on instinct and for the first time moved his lips against Iruka’s. The thought of kissing a man still bothered him quite a lot, but then he just stopped thinking about it, and there were only soft lips, gentle hands and a pleasant warmth inside him left, and he sighed softly.

But when suddenly fingers slipped under the edge of his mask, Kakashi gave a shocked start, jumped back off his chair and pushed Iruka away from him without thinking. The Chuunin gasped before he swayed on his chair and fell backwards with it, hitting his head hard on the cold floor.

“Iruka!”, Kakashi shouted in shock and hurried to his side. “Iruka, did I hurt you? I’m so sorry! Iruka, I didn’t mean to do that!” God, what had he done?

“It’s… it’s alright…”, Iruka murmured and sat up slowly. When he touched the back of his head with his hand, he flinched.

“I’m so sorry, Iruka”, Kakashi repeated. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Still not able to think much, he simply lifted the Chuunin from the floor and then up in his arms and carried him to his bed.

“Kakashi…” Iruka buried his head on the Jounin’s chest, if a little hesitantly. “You don’t have to carry me.”

“Oh.” Kakashi stopped beside the bed and blinked. “Right. Sorry.” He hadn’t thought at all, it seemed. He’d just been so worried about Iruka.

“But it’s nice.” The Chuunin laughed softly.

“That’s… that’s good.” Kakashi smiled hesitantly, still deeply confused. “You should rest now, I think.” He bent down and gently placed Iruka on the bed.

“I’m sorry, Kakashi”, Iruka said softly. “I shouldn’t have done that. I was… I was just wondering”, he whispered.

“About how I look like?”, Kakashi asked a little sadly. People always wondered about that. Just as if there wasn’t anything else about him than his face.

“No”, Iruka told him to his greatest surprise. “I was wondering for quite long already how it would feel to kiss you without that mask. I wouldn’t have looked, but I would really like to know. Just touching your lips or kissing you through the mask doesn’t tell me.”

Kakashi looked into the Chuunin’s honest, deep eyes which he just knew didn’t hold any lie in them. He realised that it would have been the perfect moment to make a decision, to either leave the room, leave Iruka or to try to make this work. Whatever ‘this’ was.

“You’re frowning again”, Iruka said softly. “I wished I knew what it is that you think about so often.”

“It’s you”, Kakashi answered without thinking about it. “You confuse me.”

“I confuse you?” Iruka frowned. “Why?”

“Because… because you just go and do all these things”, the Jounin voiced his confusion. “You just cuddle with me and kiss me and tell me all these things that are so confusing. And that although we barely know each other. Although we’ve done nothing but fighting before all of this happened. Although we’re… although we’re both men. Doesn’t that bother you at all?”

Iruka frowned deeply, seeming to think about it all. “I cuddle with you and kiss you because it feels good”, he said finally. “And I think we know each other quite well by now, having lived with each other for more than a week. And that we’re both men… does that matter?”

“Doesn’t it?”, Kakashi asked back. Shouldn’t it?

“Not to me.” Iruka shrugged.

“Why not?”

“Because I like you. I don’t care about more than that. Would be stupid.”

Kakashi frowned, mulling that over. It sounded so clear, so easy the way Iruka said it, but life just wasn’t easy, or was it? And this whole situation made everything even more complicated. What if everything changed again the moment Iruka was freed from the last effects of the jutsu? What if-

“I think you’re thinking too much”, Iruka whispered, startling the Jounin a little.

“Maybe you’re not thinking enough about it. Maybe you’re just taking everything too easy, thinking that it’s fine just to jump onto the next person that happens alo-” Kakashi broke off hastily, flinching hard, when he realised what he’d said. “Iruka, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“It’s alright”, the Chuunin assured, but the look in his eyes gave away that the words had hurt him.

Kakashi just acted on impulse, just to make that hurt disappear from Iruka’s eyes and also from within his own chest. He leaned forward and gently captured the Chuunin’s lips with his masked ones, closing his eyes almost instantly and solely focusing on the kiss. Without noticing it completely, his arms wrapped themselves around Iruka’s waist and drew him closer.

“I’m so sorry, so sorry, Iruka”, he whispered. “I didn’t mean it, I swear. I’m so sorry that I said something like that. It’s just so… so confusing and I… I…” Not finding the right words, Kakashi just settled for kissing Iruka again.

“Do you think you have to think about it more?”, the Chuunin whispered after they broke the kiss.

“I don’t know.” Kakashi looked into his brown eyes. “I think. Is that alright?”

“M-hm.” Iruka nodded and smiled at him.

----- ----- -----

“Iruka?”

“Hm?”

“Iruka, have…” Kakashi bit his lower lip under his mask. “You said yesterday that you don’t care that we’re both men. Have you been with a man before?” He hadn’t been able to think about anything else than… this for the last two days. Whatever ‘this’ was.

“Yes.” Iruka nodded, then turned his attention back to his book.

“Oh.” Kakashi wasn’t sure what to think now. On the one hand, it explained why the Chuunin was so open about their… possible relationship. On the other hand… on the other hand it made him… angry. And sad almost. But he couldn’t grasp why. “Who was it?”

“Raidou”, Iruka answered. “About two or three years ago.”

“And… how was it?” Confusing? And still… still somehow nice and warm? But still so very confusing? Or maybe-

“Nice. I liked him a lot.” Iruka frowned, then the look in his eyes became sad. “He left me for someone else.”

“I’m sorry”, Kakashi whispered, willing his voice not to shake from anger and hatred caused by the sad tone in the Chuunin’s voice. How could that Raidou dare to hurt Iruka like that?! How could he-

“He told me some months ago that he regrets leaving me”, Iruka whispered. “And that he would like me to come back to him.”

“Why didn’t you?”, Kakashi asked.

“I… I already liked someone else back then.” The Chuunin’s voice was barely audible.

“Whom?”

“You.”

“Me?”, Kakashi asked incredulously. “But… but we didn’t know each other at all back then.”

“I know.” Iruka shook his head. “I just… liked you.”

Kakashi just nodded. He had never been able to understand how anybody could like him. He wasn’t like Iruka, there was nothing likeable about him. The Chuunin was gentle and warm and friendly and lively and caring, he was perfectly likeable. Even Kakashi had started to like him quite a lot and-

Kakashi shook his head. He couldn’t manage this on his own, he knew that. He desperately needed advice.

----- ----- ----- ----- -----


A/N:
Maybe this chapter is a little unorganised with all the jumps between the scenes, but I hope it wasn’t too confusing for anybody other than Kakashi. ;-)
And I think I forgot to mention this here: The inspiration for this fic comes from Halco's doujinshi 'Miracle Medicine' in which Kakashi gives Iruka a drug that leaves him completely at his mercy and unable to refuse a command. Then he has sex with him. Well, in my opinion that's rape, however you look at it. Because of that, this fic will be different.
Nayru