Switch!

Mayumi-Sempai: Hi, and welcome to chapter 2 of our story!! Thanks a lot to all those who reviewed, it meant A LOT to us!! We have decided that we will only reply to the reviewers who asked questions. XD (thumping noise starts up)

Crimson-Sensei: o.0 Ah… what the hell is that noise? *Just woke up and is clueless*

Mayumi-Sempai: Hehe! Nothing!! TrulyWicked, I love you. You are a sweetie!! XD Thanks for your reviews, haha. and we are both safe!! ^^ (Thump, Thump, Thump...)

Crimson-Sensei: Ok seriously… did you gag and lock Sasuke in the closet again Mayumi? What the hell is that thumping? I could barely write the Wet Dream in this chapter… it’s too noisy in here. *gets earplugs* Ah, much better! And yes TrulyWicked, we do love you. Sorry for not being able to get this to you last night! *glomps*

Mayumi-Sempai: Aww! Why do you have to ruin my fun, C-Sensei! /:

Crimson-Sensei: Huh? *Is lost again* ^^;

Mayumi-Sempai: Thanks to everyone who reviewed.

Mayumi/Crimson: Enjoy. XD


***


"Hey, slow down!" Iruka yelled. Currently, Iruka was chasing the raven through the downtown district of Konoha; trying to weave his way through the crowded streets in an effort to catch up to the boy. He had no idea why the Uchiha heir was running away, but it was obvious that something was amiss. Everything from the way that he’d found the boy’s unconscious to the questionable and very odd behavior courtesy of Sasuke, seemed to reek of trouble and Iruka couldn’t help but wonder—had they found drugs in the Yondaime’s shed? That would at least explain the raven’s disorientation…


Shaking his head, Iruka tried to level his thoughts as he watched the teenager ignore his request. Yes. Something was definitely up, and he was going to get to the bottom of it. He didn’t like not knowing what was going on, especially when it came to issues regarding Naruto. Speaking of which, he hoped that the blonde was doing alright. He hadn’t meant to run out on him; but with the pending situation, there wasn’t much that he could do.


Trying to fight back the ache in his legs, Iruka called out in vain once more. "Sasuke! Please stop…" he huffed. Honestly, Iruka was exhausted. He’d spent the last fifteen-minutes running all over town. Back in the day –when he was a young vibrant teen– Iruka wouldn’t have had a problem catching up. But all those years tucked behind the desk –added to the fact that whenever he’d treat Naruto to Ichiraku’s, he’d have a couple bowls of ramen himself– it was taking its toll. It was at that moment Iruka decided that he was going to start working out more. “Please…Slow down…”


Naruto kept on running even though he heard Iruka yelling at him—well, his sensei was actually yelling for Sasuke to stop; but seeing as he was now in the raven’s body, Naruto constituted that it pretty much amounted to the same thing. Making a quick turn into an alley he continued to run at top speeds.


Honestly, he had no idea where he was going or what was going on. His mind was working in overdrive to get the answers, but he kept drawing a blank. There was nothing –no excuse that was anywhere near acceptable– that would explain why he’d woken up in his best friend’s body. It just didn’t make sense. Of course running away from Iruka probably wasn’t the greatest idea either, but Naruto knew that if he had to stop running and face the truth –that he really was in Sasuke’s body–, then he’d be admitting that the whole thing wasn’t a dream. And he did not want to acknowledge that…


Still, part of him knew that he was going to have to stop sooner or later, because just like Iruka, he was getting tired. In fact, his body hurt all over, in ways that were more then uncomfortable. Naruto shuttered when he realized that his body hadn’t been in this much since the time he and Sasuke learned to pool Chakra in their feet and walk up a tree. It felt like all his energy was running out of his body, and he wasn't even doing anything truly exerting, like casting a Jutsu. Seriously, Naruto didn’t want to think about what was going to happen if he was permanently stuck in this body—because although it sort of looked good, he couldn’t move around very well. And now that he thought about it; it was almost as if Sasuke’s body was working against him. Not being able to rely on Kyuubi’s power to back him up was going to be a pain.


Wiping the sweat from his brow, Naruto blinked rapidly as the world suddenly blurred around him. His feet were almost like lead now and he didn’t think that he was going to be able to keep on running. "Getting tired..." he whispered out before passing out; the world fading dark as he used up the last of his strength.


A few seconds later Iruka finally caught up with the teen. Taking a minute to catch his breath, he looked Sasuke over, making sure that the boy didn’t have any physical injuries before lifting the raven on to his back. Seeing as they weren’t to far from his house, Iruka figured they’d go there.


***


When Naruto awoke, everything was a blur. He did notice though, that he was lying on something soft, and that his Chakra seemed to be circulating more fluently then it had before. Raising a pale hand to wipe his dark eyes, the boy blinked a few times before the sight of spiky silver hair, and brown hair came into view.


"Kakashi-sensei!" He gasped, recognizing his teacher almost immediately. But before he could name the second familiar face, Iruka was already spitting out demands.


"Would you mind telling me, why exactly it was, that you were running away from me?" The brunette all but yelled. Iruka wanted answers and he wanted them now. He didn’t care if the boys had been goofing off, as long as there weren’t any drugs involved. And give what had occurred over in the last thirty minutes, he was quite sure that something disastrous had taken place. Two ninja’s in their prime did not just pass out and then run away for no apparent reason.


Scratching his head in a very Naruto like fashion; the teen pulled himself upright and took in his bearings. He had been right to think that he was laying on something soft—seeing as he was currently on Iruka’s couch. But that didn’t change the fact that he was still it Sasuke’s body.


‘So it wasn’t a dream then…’


“Sasuke, I asked you a question, aren’t you going to answer me?” Iruka pressed.


Naruto opened his mouth in response, but suddenly realized that he was going to sound ridiculous. Iruka was already looking at him with a ‘this better be good’ expression. Even if he used the fact that he was in Sasuke’s body to his advantage in terms of creditability –Uchiha’s were very reliable people–, he wasn’t quite sure that he could convince them that he wasn’t flat out delusional. After all, Naruto couldn’t make such a positive statement in regards to an Uchiha’s sanity. Itachi had nearly murdered his entire clan so that he could join an organization that was hell bent on taking over the world. Yeah, that pretty much gave Naruto the impression that if he started blabbing out crazy stuff, Kakashi and Iruka were going to think that Sasuke had fell off his rocker as well. Knowing this, Naruto did the only thing he could. He’d have to buy time until the real Sasuke showed up. “Uh, what do mean?” he chuckled nervously.


Kakashi, who was reading his Icha Icha book, glanced up over the top and gave Sasuke an odd look. He didn’t know why, but he had the strangest sensation that he was talking with Naruto—but that was absurd. Right..?


‘The mayo on that sandwich Iruka gave me must have been bad…’ he rationalized before returning to his book.


“You better just come clean and tell us what you did, “Iruka replied, both hands placed on his hips in an intimidating fashion. Looking over to his lover for help, he noticed that his boyfriend had his nose stuck in that Orange book again. “Kakashi?”


The silver haired man looked up for a moment before realizing what his dolphin wanted. “Oh.” Quickly he tucked his beloved book away and gave the Uchiha a stern look. “Well?”


Naruto swallowed hard. He knew that both men were being serious just by their tone alone, and he didn’t know what to do. After a quick mental debate, the youth figured that he’d just have to test the waters out and gauge their reactions a little at a time. “Ah, it was an accident…”


“What do you mean an ‘accident’? What happened?”


“Well, i-it’s nothing bad… ok, so maybe it’s sort of bad, it’s hard to explain though… I-I don’t really know what happened… I guess it’s kind of strange and I was confused… and…” Naruto halted his incisive rambling when he realized that both Kakashi and Iruka were staring at him like he’d grown a second head. “I mean Hn.” Naruto then followed the grunt with a mean glare.


They were really going to think he was crazy now.


Iruka blinked and took the response the only way he knew how. “Oh my god, are you high? Is Naruto strung out on something too? I can’t believe this; do you NOT care about your future? I know I warned you kids about this sort of thing in school… You’ve corrupted my poor innocent Naruto haven’t you! HAVEN’T YOU!” Iruka cried, shaking his finger at the raven. He’d never heard Sasuke use so many words and one time, let alone ramble, and when he factored in everything else…it could only be drugs. Unless of course, some bizarre twist of events occurred and somehow Sasuke and Naruto switched bodies—but that ludicrous. Rubbing his temples Iruka gave an exasperated sign and tried to keep his anger in check.


Kakashi, who’d been sitting silently watching everything, merely arched a brow.” Ok, Sasuke,” he smiled turning to the pale youth. “I’m just going to step aside and have a word with Ruka? Ok?” The older man stood up and pulled his lover into the kitchen.


“Kakashi can you believe that, he’s high!” Iruka yelled as soon as the door was shut


“Ah, I’m not sure that he is. Maybe something fell in hit him on the head. It’s possible that he’s just delusional.” Kakashi reassured. He’d spent the last half-hour debating the situation and he decided that if he was going to ask Iruka to move in with him, he’d better do it now before something else happened. Because this day was going from strange to bizarre faster then Jiraiya could get kicked out of a bathhouse—which was pretty damn fast. “I didn’t pull you in here to talk about the boys…”


The brunette frown slightly, “what is it then?”


“Well, I know that we’ve been going out for a while and I was wondering… Do you want to move in with me?”


Iruka’s eyebrow twitched. Although he was flattered that Kakashi would ask him, he was also appalled by the other mans sense of timing. “Now’s not the time for that Kakashi. Go back to the shed and get Naruto. We have a serious problem on our hands.” Without another word, he stepped back into the living room to continue his interrogation with the raven.

******


Sasuke flew like the wind as he jumped from roof to roof. He’d never admit it out loud, but Naruto had to have the perfect body. Sasuke felt was like he was walking on thin air without even having to try; each motion was smooth and fluent. And the perception—god, it was out of this world. He could hear things that he’d never even imagined, smell things that most people wouldn’t even notice. Sasuke knew that if Naruto had been properly trained to control his Chakra, then there was the good chance that the dobe would be able to kick his ass with little to no effort. That thought actually irritated him. But he supposed that it was to be expected. Naruto’s perseverance was unmatched and because of it, the cheeky ninja excelled in different ways. Honestly, Sasuke envied him for it.


Taking time to pause at the top of a very high building, Sasuke took a long look around. Currently, he was in the process of trying to locate Naruto—for more then one reason, might he add. The most obvious was because of the paper he’d found. And then of course there was the fact that he wasn’t exactly ecstatic about having the dobe running around in his body. For all he knew the blonde would go do something stupid. Like get a piercing or worse, a tattoo. Just the thought of the latter made him shiver; he hated tattoos. They were painful, not to mention the fact that you could get some sort of disease from those needles. He felt another tumor work its way down his spine.


'I’ve got to find Naruto, but where would he be...' He thought, analyzing what he knew about the situation.


It took a second, but suddenly it clicked and Sasuke realized exactly where Naruto would end up if Iruka had caught up with him.


'Iruka's House.'


***


"Okay, Sasuke, tell me what you know about heroine." Iruka asked, eying the raven that was sitting in front of him.


Sasuke shook his head, "I've never done it." He stated simply.


'Lies, all Lies!'


"What about cocaine or painkillers- like morphine." Iruka questioned, still trying to prove that the teen was on some kind of drugs.


"I've only been on painkillers when I was in the hospital, and it wasn't a very large dose." The raven deadpanned. Naruto was trying his best to act like Sasuke, and surprisingly, it was easy.


Iruka humph’d and asked a new question, "What about PCP?"


The youth’s impassive visage snapped like a brittle twig and teen broke out an expression that was one hundred percent trouble. Iruka about fell out of his chair; he wasn’t sure what to think. The only person that he’d ever seen grin like that was Naruto—but that expression just looked down right scary on the Uchiha.


"Iruka-sensei! Why would I take the date rape drug!?" the teen chuckled playfully. Immediately, Naruto regretted not only his words but also the expression that he’d just made. Sasuke would never say something like that, and there was no way in hell that the raven would smile.


Iruka, who was trying to recover from that creepy grin, looked up at the boy suspiciously.


"I, uh...oh shit… Hn!" Naruto stuttered and tried to imitate the Uchiha's scowl.


Subsequently, just as Iruka went to open his mouth, Kakashi appeared and Naruto let out a breath, knowing that he was saved for the moment. Looking back and fourth between his lover and the teen, the brunette shook his head.


“Stay right there. We’re not done with this conversation.” Taking heed, both adults made there way into the kitchen. Naruto, who was by no means just going to sit there –after all, where the hell was Sasuke– crept off the couch and leaned close to the door, listening to the two muffled voices as they spoke.

"What do you mean Naruto wasn't in the shed?!?" Iruka yelled and Naruto about choked.


'Where had Sasuke gone?'

"I told you, I went to the Yondaime’s shed, and Naruto was not there." Kakashi said coolly.

Iruka stormed in, a look of anger on his face, with Kakashi following right behind him. This couldn't be good.

"Listen here you," Iruka pointed a finger at Sasuke who had quickly moved back to his seat. "Whatever you've done with Naruto, you better tell me right now," He growled.

"Iruka, darling, I think you're taking—" Kakashi tried to calm his lover.

"Quiet!" Iruka snapped. Kakashi closed his mouth. He from experience, it was better not to cross paths with Iruka while he was pissed.

Naruto gulped, "Alright...I'll tell you what—"

Boom

"Nar - I mean…Sasuke!!" Sasuke yelled as the front door nearly flew off its hinges—he was really going to have to watch his strength. Despite how uncomfortable he was with the situation, Sasuke knew that he was going to have to act like a dobe in order to get Naruto away from Iruka and Kakashi. Of course, technically he didn't need to worry about Kakashi. It was Iruka only who posed a threat.

"Naruto! What are you doing?! Kakashi said he couldn't find you in the shed. You're awake now!" Iruka said, bewildered.

"Oh, Hn…uh," ’Think Sasuke, Think,’ "Well, I'm all better now! Hai! You know me. Konoha’s number one idiot—I mean ninja, when it comes to surprising people! So let me just take Sasuke home, because he has a nasty bump on his head! Don't you teme!?" Sasuke felt like he was going to get sick. Being stupid was nauseating.

"Oh..Alright.." Iruka said slowly, not quite sure what was going on. He didn’t really want to let the boys out of his sight. But he was sure that they wouldn’t do anything suspicious in front of an adult. 'I’ll have Kakashi follow them around in a little bit. I bet he’ll be able to catch them then.'

"Sweet!" Sasuke said sing-song like, giving a dorky grin and a thumb’s up. Quickly he grabbed Naruto's hand and yanked the moron out the door before anything else could go wrong. Once on the porch they looked at each other in a silent agreement and headed off towards Sasuke's house. They needed to get behind closed doors and talk about what the hell had happened and exactly what could be done to fix it.

"What...just…happened..?" Iruka asked, stunned.

"There, there, Iruka-koi..." Kakashi tried to calm his lover.

Feeling agitated, the younger man scoffed. "No sex tonight!" Heedlessly he turned around and walked down the hallway, slamming the bedroom door.

Kakashi sulked and pulled out his Icha Icha. 'Damn kids...'

***

Sasuke and Naruto rushed towards the Uchiha manor at full throttle. It was still slightly confusing as to what had happened about 45 minutes ago and they definitely needed to figure it out. Well, Sasuke had a better understanding then Naruto, but he figured that he need to tell the idiot before the blonde blew all his brain cells trying to piece things together.


Continuing on, Sasuke picked up the pace. From the rear he could hear Naruto pleading with him to slow down, but he only went faster. Technically if he put things into perspective then the whole things was Naruto’s fault anyway and the teen deserved to be left behind. If the moron hadn’t been goofing off, then things would have gone smoothly and they’d both be done with cleaning Yondaime’s shed—sitting at home watching porn or something. Well, Sasuke knew that’s what he’d be doing. The dobe would probably being inhaling ramen. That thought quickly made him realize two very important things. One, he need to hide his porn if Naruto was coming over to his house, and two, he was going to have to have a long talk with his best friend about what did, and didn’t, go into his mouth. His former body didn’t have the same kind of metabolize as the blonde’s and he’d be damn if Naruto packed away 50lbs of noodle with every meal. It just a matter of days, he’d end up being bigger then Choji.

Reaching the Uchiha manor in record time, Sasuke slowed down to walk through the gate. Naruto was a little ways behind him, which was thankful for. It gave him time to put away the porn that he’d left on the kitchen table. Normally, Sasuke wouldn't allow anyone to step inside the Manor. But this was urgent business and with Naruto he would make an exception. He just hoped that the dobe didn’t break anything.

After affectively putting away his beloved smut under lock and key, he jetted back to the front door and waited for the blonde. A few seconds later, Naruto came into view and together they walked into the living room. Plopping down on the couch, Sasuke awaited the inevitable reaction and Naruto did not disappoint him.

“OK what the hell just happened?” The blonde yelled, failing his arms in a ridiculous manner.“Seriously Sasuke, if this is some stupid Jutsu that you’re trying out, you need to change us back… because I do not like being stuck in your body! What if I have to pee I don’t want to touch…you…it…whatever!”

The other boy arched a blonde brow, but otherwise remained calm in his response. “Wait a second. First off… this is your fault, not mine. Your dumb-ass just had to touch everything, and you couldn’t keep your hands off that stupid necklace—“

“Wait, it was the necklace caused this… so where is it? Let’s hurry up and change back,” Naruto interrupted.

Sasuke’s eyebrow twitched. “Just shut up and let me finish, ok? I’m not really thrilled about being stuck in your weak pathetic body, but we have a problem.” Naruto opened his mouth to first spit back a foul remark about 'his' new body, and then inquire what the said dilemma was –but the words seemed to die in his throat when Sasuke glared at him. Naruto never thought that he could find himself looking so… intimidating.

“Apparently, something happened when we switched bodies… because the necklace wasn’t around your…err my neck, when I woke up.”

“So where the hell is it then?” Naruto’s voice was panic stricken now, that hysteria doubling when he realized what that implied. “Oh my god… I can’t stay in this body! It’s gross. How the hell am I supposed to fight with these flabby arms, and skinny chicken legs! And my hair… it looks like a ducks ass! Quick, where are the scissors! Call 911. We got to tell Kakashi and Iruka. No. We have to tell Tsunade Baa-Chan! She’ll know what to do!”

Sasuke –who was trying to ignore all of his former bodies ‘flaws’– tensed when Naruto mentioned something about scissors. But his heart filled with fear with what the dobe had said thereafter.

“No Naruto!” Instantly, his hands were on Naruto’s arms, preventing the boy –who had just stood up– from going anywhere. “We can’t tell anyone, no matter what or we’ll be stuck like this!”

Black eyes blinked with confusion. ”What?”

“Look. I found the box that the necklace was in, and there was this paper.“ Reaching into his horrid orange pants, Sasuke pulled out a piece of paper from the front pocket. He then preceded to hand it to Naruto. “It’s says right there, that if we tell anyone –or if anyone realizes and believes that we’ve switched bodies– then we permanently stay this way.”

“Permanently as in forever…”Naruto whispered, not liking the sound of that idea.

“No, until next Christmas. Yes! Forever!”

Taking in a shaky breath Naruto shook his head slowly. “So what are we going to do?”

Sasuke swallowed hard. He’d thought long and hard about what he was going to say when this question was brought up and he knew that now he had to put those thoughts into words. Whether he liked it or not, it was this was the only way. “We’re going to act like each other.”

“What…?”

“You’re going to stay here in the manor and pretend to be me and I’m going to go back to your apartment and pretend to be you. We can’t let anyone think that something’s off or they might start snooping around and then we’ll permanently end up as each other. I suspect that Iruka and maybe Kakashi already think that something’s up, right?”

“Yeah, “Naruto mumbled. “Kakashi’s too busy with his porn, but Iruka thinks we’re taking drugs.”

Sasuke shook his head. He didn’t want to know. If things got desperate then maybe they’d have to play that trump card, but didn’t really want people thinking that he was using drugs. It was bad for an Uchiha’s reputation and he had enough trouble in resurrecting his good name after what Itachi had done. “Ok. Just let them think what they want.” Moving to sit down, Sasuke gestured for Naruto to do the same thing before taking on a rather serious expression.

“If we’re going to do this --pretend to be each other until we can find the necklace-- then we need to set down some ground rules.”

Naruto nodded, that sounded reasonable. “Ok. Like what?”

“First off no tattoos or piercings or anything else that will damage our respectable bodies.”

“Ok.”

“Second, no making-out or having sex with anyone!”

Naruto couldn’t help but burst out laughing when Sasuke spoke the second rule. “Oh that’s right, “he teased. “I’ve got me a fan club now! Oh, oh, do you have Sakura-Ch—“Naruto’s words instantly died. Sasuke looked like he was going to kill him on the spot—regardless of the body swap. “Uh, right no kissing or sex…got ya.” He swallowed.

“Good. Now, since we have to do our best to act like each other—“

“Wait a second! If we have to act like each other, then you have to be a dobe!” Naruto laughed not realizing that he’d just insulted himself.

Sasuke massaged his temples, his patiences having withered away, only to be replaced by a headache and lack of patience. “Yes! I have to be a loud mouth idiot that runs around like he’s oblivious to fucking concept of what it means to be a ninja! I have to wear these hideous orange sweatpants, eat ramen, and limit my vocabulary to that of a two year old! Which by the way, if you so much as suck down one noodle while you’re in my body, I will kill you when this is all said and done. Furthermore, if you do anything…and I mean ANYTHING to disgrace my family name; I will give you a punishment far worse then death. You are to sit there, look good and say nothing more then ‘Hn’ do I make myself clear!”

Naruto swallowed uneasily and tried to block out the fact that Sasuke had just verbally slandered him to high heaven and that he had no faith in him what so ever.

“Yeah, I hear you… I guess that means that you’re doing a good job at impersonating me…” Sasuke flinched at the other’s tone, but didn’t apologize.

“I guess I’m going to go your house now. Don’t touch any of my stuff. The bathrooms on the left hand side of the main hall, the kitchen is behind us –don’t burn my house down either– and my bedroom is on the second floor, third door to the last on the right hand side. Don’t go snooping dobe.”

“Tch. Like you’d have anything worth looking at,” Naruto growled.


****

After writing down the directions to his apartment, Naruto escorted Sasuke out of the Uchiha manor and locked the door. Suddenly he felt all alone and very scared. 'How can Sasuke stand the silence?' he pondered. That though was quickly replaced by another one.'Damn I hope this place isn’t haunted.'

Hoping to clear the void with a little TV, Naruto padded back into the living room and flopped down on the couch. “Heh, this is nice,” he chuckled out loud. Looking around he quickly found the remote, and turned the television on. As one would speculate –ten minutes and over two-hundred channels later– Naruto came to realize that there wasn’t anything on. About ready to flip the contraption off in favor of a trip to the kitchen, the raven paused when he realized that there was a movie in the DVD player. Curious as to what Sasuke had been watching, he pressed the play button only to have an erotic, pornographic scene flicker onto the screen. Shocked, the teen tried to push the stop button, but his right thumb hit the plus volume button, while the left hit the lock key. Frantically, Naruto mashed the buttons while loud moans emitted from the stereo in surround sound quality that was so shrill, he was quite sure the deaf man at the edge of town could hear it. He looked up at the screen, and to his dismay he realized that it was a 4-some, with 2 guys and 2 girls. Falling off the couch –as he’d been lying on it– he crawled over to the DVD player and press the off button. Never was he so happy to hear the sound of nothingness.

Panting, he shook his head and tried to figure out why the hell Sasuke had left porn in his DVD player. That thought, though, quickly triggered another. Sasuke Uchiha, Mr. Perfect, whacked off to porn. The pale boy let out a diabolical chuckle. Strumming his fingers across the bottom of the entertainment center, Naruto pondered his options. One, he could do what Sasuke had told him to do—which was to do nothing at all. Or, he could do a little snooping, because now he knew why the Uchiha had told him NOT to go looking around. Slowly climbing to his feet, he threw the remote on the table. It would be wrong to violate Sasuke’s trust…then again, this was a once in a lifetime chance to dig up some dirt. The choice of course was easy. Letting out an insane laugh, Naruto darted upstairs. Carelessly he tossed his clothes off, until he was left in his boxers and socks. Making his way up to Sasuke’s room, he busted through the door and headed straight to the closet. Opening it up, he randomly shuffled through the clothes until he came upon a cape that had the Uchiha crest on the back. 'Hehe, perfect.' he thought, throwing it over his shoulders and tying it in the front. Dashing over to the mirror, he looked at himself.

“Famous world renowned detective Uzumaki Naruto has just gone undercover as EMO boy,” he narrated in as deep of a voice as Sasuke’s tone would allow. “Lost in a crazy ghost infested mansion, he has been deemed with the task of saving Ducks, Chocobo's and all hair cuts resembling them, from the evil clutches of the Porn villain. Armed with only a…”Naruto’s dark eyes looked around the room before opening up a dresser drawer. Smirking, a pale hand withdrew a little plastic card. “…A platinum unlimited credit card...” Another quick movement and his hands were wrapping around another object. “…and a cordless phone! Its Naruto’s job to make sure that all the secrets regarding the Uchiha manor are revealed! What kind of porn lies behind these closed doors, no one can say for sure—but detective Naruto is willing to risk his life to find out. Right after he orders some pizza, and ramen, and Chinese, and maybe something from that burger joint down the street…and possibly everything on the menu from that expensive restaurant that never lets him eat there because they don’t offer service to a demon...”

Naruto paused when he realized that he was ranting and still referring to himself in third person before speed dialing every restaurant in town and heading downstairs.

Once he was back on the main floor, Naruto tossed the phone aside, and picked up the remote. After unlocking the buttons he turned on the stereo as loud as it would go and started swaying his hip. Jumping up on the couch he used the remote as a make-shift microphone and proceeded to sing ‘With Teeth’ by Nine Inch Nails.

'Heh, who knew that bastard listened to good music!'he mused before singing the next verse.

And so it began. The long fun filled night at the Uchiha manor. Naruto continued to shake his pale white ass –dancing on the couch and the coffee table– until the food arrived. After downing as many types of carbohydrates as he could, the raven started his search for ‘Sasuke-Perverts’ porn collection and anything else that might humiliate the normally stoic teen. From top to bottom, he ran around in his cape, socks and underwear; going through anything and everything that he could get his hands on, jumping on beds, sliding down the banister and order some extremely expensive WWF pay-per view shows. Pictures, clothes, Sasuke’s baby blanket and secret family cookbooks—they were all found, sorted though or read. Despite all this, Naruto could wasn’t able to find any porn –at least not on the first floor– and it was then that he decided that he was going to take a break. That maybe after a nice hot bath and some relaxation, he would start another attempt at finding the porn, or perhaps he’d just sleep on it and look in the morning. Sasuke was obviously good at hiding his dirty little secret and Naruto realized that he was going to have to use some intellect on his part if he wanted to humiliate the Uchiha.


After going up to the third floor and finding a bathtub the size of a swimming pool, Naruto proceeded to fill it up with water and bubble bath –he though it was cute that Sasuke used Mr. Bubbles brand– before splashing around for a bit, not really feeling odd about being in another guy’s body. Technically, it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen Sasuke naked before, so it there was nothing to be embarrassed about. Or rather, he was too busy having fun to give the matter much thought.


One hour, and one flooded bathroom/hallway later, Naruto padded back downstairs in nothing but a towel. He figured he’d watch a little TV, clean up the place and do the rest of his snooping the following night.


Planting his skinny butt on the couch, Naruto turned on the said box and flipped it to the Home shopping network. It looked like he was going to get all his Christmas shopping done early this year and it wasn’t even going to cost him a thing.


'Now where did I put that credit card'

*****

Sasuke sighed. Tonight had thus far, been the worst night of his life—save for the Uchiha massacre. On his way home he’d been bluntly gawked at –the malevolence behind each scowl had given the Uchiha’s glare a run for its money– and the villager’s had done very little to be discreet when it came to the ‘demon’ remarks. Sasuke hadn’t realized that Naruto had it so bad, and that was before he was spit on and someone ‘accidentally’ threw a bucket of raw sewage out the window that he was standing under. Having wanted nothing more then to go home to his temporary apartment and take a nice long, hot shower, Sasuke had been thoroughly disappointed –when after an hour and forty-five minutes– all he got was lukewarm at best. Of course when he’d gone to the managers to complain, she’d hit on the head with a frying pan and told him to get his ‘fucking ass’ back to his room and that he should be thankful to have water to begin with. It was then that Sasuke decided that Naruto put up with a hell of a lot of crap. There was no reason for people to be treating the blonde that way; even if the dobe did have a demon sealed inside him –Kyuubi hadn’t bothered Sasuke yet, so it couldn’t be too bad right– no one deserved to be treated like shit. It was thoughts such as that which had plagued him during dinner—a bowl of Miso ramen. And yes, he’d gotten sick after eating it.


Currently though, it was a little past eight and he was lying on a lumpy mattress, which had itchy sheets in a room that was fucking hot as hell due to the humidity and lack of AC. To make matter worst, about half hour ago it had started to rain and apparently the dobe’s roof leaked in several spots, because no matter where he moved, water dripped on him.


'Dobe, how can you live like this?' he wondered, kicking the sheets off and removing his orange tee shirt. It was too hot to sleep with it on. Shifting slightly, he tried to get comfortable, only to end up removing his sleeping pants and boxers five minutes later. For the most part Sasuke was ok with being naked in the dobe’s body. It was perhaps odd, but he was exhausted so in less then ten minutes he was locked away in a stupor like state.


***Dream***

Sasuke opened his eyes and found himself back in the Uchiha manor; it was a mild comfort in retrospective to the joy he felt when he realized that he was also in his own body lying on his bed with its soft mattress, blue silk sheets and matching pillows. Letting out a deep sigh, he closed his eyes and relaxed. Everything was perfect—back to the way that it was before the dobe had gone and caused all that trouble. Loosing himself in happy thoughts, Sasuke was completely unaware of the other presence in the room and he nearly jumped a foot when the bed shifted.


Darting upright, his black eyes took in Naruto tanned form. The blonde was sitting near the edge of the bed wearing nothing but a pair of boxer’s that had the ‘Porn’ printed all over them in tiny yellow letters. Sasuke found this odd, but shook his head and moved to lie back down. He didn’t know why the dobe had showed up in his house, but he didn’t really care—that was, until he felt the bed shift again and two warm hands gripped his hipbones. Suddenly, Sasuke found that he could no longer move. Well, perhaps he could, but his mind as his body weren’t really cooperating well and so it was making motion a difficult accomplishment. About ready to ask the blonde exactly what the hell it was that he was doing—he lost all for of coherent speech when the blonde’s fingers slide underneath the rim of his boxers and pulled down. Sasuke gasped.


The night air felt so good against his skin; but that wasn’t the reason that he was struggling to take in air. As of the moment, Naruto had fully removed his boxers and tanned hands were running up and down creamy white thighs. The movement’s were akin to the way the breeze might tickle someone’s skin, or like silk sliding against satin - smooth, perfect and heavenly in sensation. Feeling the blonde again shift – this time Naruto was tucking himself between his pale thighs – the younger boy leaned over – hands, one on each side, supporting his weight – and let the flat of his tongue roll up Sasuke’s bare abdomen. Slowly that tongue swirled in a haphazard pattern, making the raven’s chest heave with an unsteady rhythm. With even more grace and precision, Naruto’s tongue encircled one of Sasuke’s perky nipples before drawing it into his mouth. Working the nub gently against the wet muscle he bit it softly using his teeth to roll the bud between his lips. The blonde continued to alternate the technique and sensations, until Sasuke was withering beneath him. Naruto then dragged his tongue to the other bud and proceeded to give it the same treatment. By then, Sasuke was painfully hard and he tried desperately to arch his back and have some part of himself rub up against Naruto, but the blonde swiftly moved back and prevented any further contact from taking place.


“Teme…” came a husky whispered that was so deep in could split mountains and yet so soft that it could be mistaken for silence. Sasuke again swallowed thickly and with half-lidded eyes, the elder watched in what felt like slow motion –frame by frame movements– as Naruto eased his lips down to his weeping member, hands curling around the hipbone to keep Sasuke in place. Gingerly, the blonde licked his lips playfully and then expelled his tongue out just a little bit further, flicking just the tip of Sasuke’s cock.


“Fuck…” It was a hiss, a moan, a gasp of air and a scream—that single word befell the raven’s lips but he couldn’t hear it because his mind was locked far away as Naruto licked his tip again and again; much like a cat lapping up milk or child working away at a sweet treat. Desperately Sasuke tried to buck his hips –so that the blonde would take more of him into his mouth– but it was a fruitless task. Naruto’s hands stayed firm, locking Sasuke’s body down while driving his other sense mad. “Dobe…” he rasped, his hands sliding into golden locks as his finger curled around the tress before pulling tightly. Naruto paid little mind to the pain though, as his tongue continued to lap at the pre-cum that seeped out from the slit, rolling the tart essence along the roof of his mouth before swallowing it with satisfaction.


“Ummm, you taste so good teme…” the velvet voice lulled, lips kissing the tip softly. “I think I want more…”


Without another word, Naruto slipped Sasuke’s cock into his mouth, the warm, moist threshold constricting around the shaft as his cheeks hollowed and his head bobbed up and down in a madding pace that granted ultimate pleasure, but would not deliver satisfaction. Skillfully, the blonde’s tongue coaxed more sensations from the elder as it moved in rhythm, sucking and then rubbing against the vein before withdrawing back to run over just the head –the sensitive muscle brushing up against sensitized flesh, eliciting more moans and pleas from the raven being sucked off. Having finally deemed that ‘playtime’ was over, Naruto relaxed his muscles and pushed his lips all the way down the nine-inch shaft, demolishing his gag reflex to bring gratification to his lover.


The pace started slow and then picked up, alternating between deep vacuumed sucks and soft, tender ones. To Sasuke though, it was all torturous in the most delectable of ways. And he moaned and grunted, hissing his approval and demanding more. He could feel the familiar warm heat pool in his belly, the way it twisted and slid down into his loins, making the edge more tangible then before.


“God Naruto, I’m so close,” Sasuke replied breathlessly as Naruto mouth continued to swallow his dick, drawing out the sensations. It felt so good and just as he was about to release; he felt his body jolt back to reality…

***End Dream***

Sasuke woke up sweating, his body felt like it was on fire and his cock was painfully erect.


“What the fuck was that?” he panted…trying to regain his surrounding. It took him a second, but Sasuke quickly realized that he was in Naruto’s apartment, in Naruto’s bed and very much still trapped in Naruto’s body.'It was just a dream' He oddly felt disappointed by that outcome, but he wasn’t sure why. Ever since the Valley of the End, Sasuke had perceived Naruto differently. It wasn’t as if he loved the dobe –or at least he was sure he didn’t– but rather, Naruto was like a special friend and the feelings between them were complicated. Naruto was the only one that Sasuke would probably ever trust—though he would never say that out loud.


Running one tanned hand down his body, Sasuke debated on what to do. If he was in his own body, he’d definitely masturbate. He was hard and horney and he wanted to get off. However, he was in Naruto’s body right now –which actually made it more tempting to do, though that didn’t necessarily mean that he should– so the best course of action was somewhat debatable.


Still letting his fingers roam idly over his borrowed body, the tips grazed over one of his budding nipples, and he hissed in pleasure. 'Oh fuck it'


Throwing his questionable resolve out the window, his right hand trailed down to his hardened cock and he let his finger’s coil around it—the sensation was divine. Although it was hard to say, Naruto was probably the same size that Sasuke had previously been, which made it a bit more comfortable, yet still slightly strange, to be holding someone else’s cock.


Slowly, he tightened his grip on the tan –not pale– cock, pumping it a few times before starting soft, steady strokes. Sasuke hissed at the indescribable sensations that jolted though his body; the sweat making for an excellent lube, perfecting each motion as he palmed the foreign erection. He also took notice that Naruto's cock was slightly thicker than his, which he actually found very agreeable. Sinfully he savored the sensation of skin sliding against skin with an erotic edge of guilt—he couldn’t help but wondered, what Naruto would do if he saw what was being done to his body at the moment.


'Probably kick my ass.'


Unable to keep silent and really not wanting to –screw the fact that the neighbors could probably hear him– Sasuke moaned loudly, his hand quickening the pace of each stroke. By now, drops of pre-cum were gathering at the slit and Sasuke's free hand reached down to coated his fingers with it. Gracefully, the said digits traveled back up to his mouth and he slipped them between his lips, sucking on them greedily, much like the way that a bee would drink nectar—with life giving satisfaction. Naruto's taste was salty yet sweet, and completely addicting.


Instantly he had the desire to taste more.


Dragging his now ‘clean’ hand back down his body; Sasuke stopped momentarily to tweak his nipples. Playfully, he twisted the nub between his fingers, delighting in the fact that the saliva from his mouth made for a much smoother motion. Absent-mindedly, he thought back to his dream and the way that Naruto’s tongue had teased him. With eyes closed and cheeks tinting pink, Sasuke arched his back and again quickened his pace, making more pre-cum erupt from the tip. Desiring to taste that delectable essence again, he abandoned his nipples for the much more palpable treat. His hand traveling back down to the tanned cock, where he again, colleted the pre-cum. Eagerly repeating the same motions as last time, he sucked his fingers clean, delighting the taste before returning them to his groin—this time though, he avoided his erection, twisting his finger towards that tight ring of muscle that he enjoyed –in regards to his own body– filling with random objects.


Plunging in one sweaty finger, he stifled a groan. It always hurt at first, but he knew it would get better. Slowly he pushed the finger in and out, loosening his entrance. Naruto was much tighter than he was and Sasuke savored that aspect when a second finger slipped in; the walls clenching down on his digits like a vice. ’The dobe is definitely a virgin…’ Slowly, he finger fucked himself, searching for that one special spot that made him see stars. Unfortunately, this was Naruto's body, not his. So it took him a few tries to locate ‘his’ prostrate, but when he did, it was heavenly. Quickly, he added a third finger and pushed in, rubbing against that special spot once more; his other hand stilling on his erection for a moment before going on.


Sasuke knew he was close to losing it, but he needed the extra push. Unfortunately for him, Naruto's fingers were smaller than his and it was making it difficult to effectively finger himself. Shaking his head, Sasuke realized that it was no good. He needed…something that would get the job done. Glancing over to the nightstand beside the bed; his eyes roamed over the contents on the table: playing cards, a book, a flashlight… ’Bingo.’ Releasing his cock he grabbed the flashlight; admiring the fact that it had a round tip and was made of smooth metal, rather then plastic. It wasn't that big, but it was long enough for him to enjoy it.


Bringing the cold metal to his lips, his tongue slithered out and he licked it—wetting the surface so that he would be able to slide it deep into his ass. Seeing fit to remove his fingers, Sasuke inserted the flashlight in their place, and gasped when it hit his prostrate dead on. He sighed with contentment before stroking his erection back to full mast—thinking of Naruto again. Thrusting the flashlight in and out of his ass as quickly as he could, Sasuke moaned in pleasure. Each time it hit his prostrate dead on. That, combined with the way that his other hand was massage his stiff cock, was bringing him unimaginable pleasure. Letting a finger trace the vein on the underside on his dick, he bucked up into the air and pushed the make-shift dildo into his ass as far as it would go. His eyes opened wide and he screamed his release.


"Ah! Ohh...fucking…god!"


Panting, Sasuke laid there, basking in the after glow of masturbation/self penetration. He'd have to remind himself to add a flashlight to his list of toys. He pulled the flashlight out, wincing as drops of red flowed out. Naruto would so kill him if he knew what he had done...


"Oi, Uchiha."


Sasuke looked around, curious as to where the dialogue was coming from. With a shock, he realized it was in his head. "K-kyuubi..?" he pondered. Sasuke heard a snicker, and then the same voice spoke up.


"Yes, it is I, the great Kyuubi. I must say that you have balls Uchiha, being so bold to defile my container’s body…"


"I…um… Shit!" he’d forgotten about the demon.


"Naruto will find out you know.”


Sasuke tossed the flashlight to the floor, and quickly regained his composure. He might be trapped in Naruto’s body, but he was still an Uchiha and he didn’t like being pushed around. “He’ll only find out if you tell him.”


“And why wouldn’t I tell him?” the demon baited, wondering how far Sasuke would go in order to keep his secret. “Unless of course you can offer me something… then again, what could a whelp like you proposition me with?”


Instantly, Sasuke knew that Kyuubi was hinting at a taste of freedom, but he wouldn’t give the demon that sort of satisfaction. Sitting up right, he noticed that his hand was still covered in cum, and he slowly began to lick his fingers, talking in between each motion.


“What about pleasure? I suppose this is your body too… Don’t you feel what Naruto’s does? Don’t like getting off or something?”


The fox grinned. “Not with a flashlight. Which, by the way, he borrowed that from Sakura.” Sasuke instantly paled. “Imagine that Uchiha, you’re looking almost like yourself again.” Sasuke could hear the taunt in the demon’s voice and he realized that Kyuubi hadn’t been serious about the flashlight belonging to the pink haired bitch.


“Hn.”


“Ok come now, that’s not very Naruto-like?”


“Oh and tell me…’great and wise Kyuubi’… what exactly is Naruto like?” Having finished cleaning his fingers, Sasuke used the sheets to wipe the rest of himself off.


The demon snarled at the cynicism in the ‘great and wise’ remark. “Naruto is stupid, but at the same time he’s smarter then you’ll ever be. I won’t even have to tell him that you’ve violated his body for your own sick amusement. He’ll figure it out on his own.”


Laying back down Sasuke frowned, having a demon speaking to him in his head, was really annoying. He already knew that Naruto wasn’t going to figure it out. There was just no way. “Whatever. I think tomorrow night I’ll masturbate in front of mirror… What do you think Kyuubi? Good visual stimulation right?” Not hearing an answer, Sasuke gave a satisfied smirk and closed his eyes. He was almost asleep when the fox spoke up again.


”You like him.” It wasn’t a question it was a statement, and it made Sasuke feel uneasy.


“I have needs and I’m stuck in this body,” he replied, trying to find sleep again. He didn’t really want to talk to Kyuubi anymore, not only because he was tired, but he had the strangest feeling that the fox was trying to stir up trouble. Kyuubi however, continued to be pest.


“Oh, I see then. It’s probably for the best. You’re just a selfish pervert anyway…”


Sasuke disregarded what Kyuubi had said, or rather he tried to. For some reason the last statement rubbed him the wrong way and he cracked his eyes open, pondering the others words. ”What the hell is that supposed to mean?”


Kyuubi snickered softly. ”Oh nothing…”


“It obviously meant something.” Sasuke was tired and he wanted to go to sleep. 'Why is this damn fox tormenting me?'


“It’s just Naruto…”


“WHAT ABOUT NARUTO! SPIT IT OUT!”


Kyuubi smirked at how easy it was to rile the Uchiha up. “He doesn’t like you like that…”


Sasuke frowned, slightly irritated that the fox was bothering him over something so petty. He didn’t really care if Naruto didn’t like him as more then a best friend. He didn’t like Naruto that much anyway. Or so he tried to justify. Sadly though, Sasuke couldn’t get back to sleep. In fact, it wasn’t until three hours later that rest found him and even then, it wasn’t very peaceful.


TBC