A New Leaf

Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto and the patients are not real people.

A/N Wow, this took ridiculously long to write. Unbelievable. Anyway, here it is. It starts off with a “new” character’s perspective. Sorry about that. In the future I’ll try to make things smoother. As it is, if I worked on this any longer I’d wind up deleting it. Argh.

Warnings: Unbeta’d, corniness…

A New Leaf

Chapter 2 – Let Them Lie

Konohamaru was up before his alarm, prancing around his bedroom with a chipper enthusiasm that would have annoyed Mother Teresa. The sky was still dark with the congested grey of predawn but the boy had the energy of the Easter Bunny. He hopped around the room, trying to stuff his feet into a pair of blue jeans. Flailing against the confines of a Tshirt, he charged out into the hall.

Konohamaru made a disaster of the bathroom. In his zeal for fresh breath, he twisted the toothpaste with a little too much enthusiasm and was startled by the explosion of white and blue as the tube burst. His energetic lunge for a wad of toilet paper to clean up the mess sent his mother’s contacts flying into the toilet. She didn’t know yet, but he was sure that once she did (and she would), she would not be pleased.

Kohonamaru stumbled into the kitchen. It was cramped yet tidy, maintained with a touch of masculine finesse, courtesy of the Boyfriend, his mother’s latest. Konohamaru scowled. His mother had terrible taste in men. Not that Konohamaru really gave any of her boyfriends a chance; he was always loath to share his mother.

He galloped moodily toward the counter and leaned against it. Braced against the tile, Konohamaru caught his reflection in the microwave and leered. He’d grown a bit since school had started and had finally breached five feet. It was a small triumph, but it had him braving life with a sort of irrational vigor. He yanked open a cupboard door and fished around for a box of cereal. He dragged it out, grimacing at the high fiber content. Old men these days…

Konohamaru poured himself a bowl and was happily munching away by the time his mother came into the kitchen. Her hair was styled neatly and she was dressed for work, her makeup tactfully done up. She smiled blearily at her son.

“Honey, have you seen my contacts?”

Konohamaru swallowed hastily and began to talk fast, “No, but hey! Did you know? I had a really cool dream last night. I was a ninja, and I could fight and fly around and yeah!” He fidgeted anxiously, sneaking sidelong glances at his mother, who was microwaving herself a mug of tea.

She had been listening patiently, and settled across the table from her son, tea in hand. “Hmm. How was that?”

Konohamaru frowned, swirling his spoon in the leftover milk in his bowl. “Pretty cool,” he said musingly. “You know, Naruto was a ninja, too. He could turn into a naked lady. He taught me how to do it too. It was pretty weird.”

She cast her son a searching look, a thoughtful expression on her face. He didn’t see it, but there was something calculating in her eyes. She looked away and began to sip her tea, the handle of the mug standing straight up like a flag. Peering over the dregs of his cereal, the boy admired his mother. She was beautiful, that much he knew. She had long, curling dark hair and hooded mahogany eyes. She was graceful and looked almost delicate, but he knew better. She’d raised him alone after his father left. At least, almost alone. The kitchen door opened, and it was with a sort of oedipal defensiveness that Konohamaru shot his eyes over to glare at the Boyfriend.

He was smoking. Typcal. Konohamaru squinted at him and scrunched up his nose, making a point to cough a few times in reminder to his mother that second hand smoke was bad.

“Cover your mouth when you cough, dear.”

It didn’t work.

As he passed Konohamaru’s mother, the Boyfriend kissed her briefly on the lips before heading on to bustle around the kitchen. Konohamaru glared. The Boyfriend was tall and muscular, with a black beard like the wizard in the story. He was a professor at the university, and lived on campus in the faculty housing when he wasn’t spending the night here. Resentment bubbled under the boy’s skin as the Boyfriend rummaged through the fridge.

Clearing his throat, Konohamaru coughed again, this time covering his mouth and gasping a little, making certain to grasp at his throat as he mimed a coughing fit. When he raised his eyes again, concern was written all over his mother’s face.

“Are you alright?” Her forehead was wrinkled with worry.

Konohamaru sighed, thoroughly enjoying playing the martyr, “Yeah, but could I open a window? It’s awful smoky in here.” He knew if he looked at the Boyfriend he wouldn’t be able to contain his malicious laughter.

She rose to her feet and practically glided over to the window, “Of course, darling. Honey, would you put your cigarette out?”

About to comply, the Boyfriend caught Konohamaru’s eyes. The boy was leering at him. With a twitch of the eyebrow, he counterattacked, smiling playfully at his girlfriend.

“Oh, you know I can’t do that, smoking is part of my image.”

She laughed, securing the window. Konohamaru scowled. The Boyfriend looked at Konohamaru as he spoke to his mother, “Hey, I’m making pancakes. Do I have any takers?”

The mother bent over the counter to kiss him, “Sorry, sweetie, I have to take this kid to school.”

He smiled. “Another time, then.” He winked at Konohamaru, “Ah, well, more for me.” The boy twitched. He was a fan of fried bread.

“Come on, honey,” his mother said, taking her coat and keys. Konohamaru scrambled after her, grabbing his backpack and heaving it onto his shoulder. “Get a jacket, it’s not summer anymore.”

The boy grunted and began to rummage around in the closet.

His mother leaned into the Boyfriend, “Have a nice day,” she said against his lips. He smiled and kissed her.

“Oh, Kurenai?”

“Hm?”

“Any idea what your contacts are doing in the toilet?”

She raised a quizzical eyebrow and looked up at the man. Something glittered in her eyes.

“Hey! I’m ready to go. Are you going to stand around all day?” The boy shouted impatiently from the door, hefting his backpack onto one shoulder. He had donned a thin jacket, but wore a hat and scarf. He was a fan of scarves, and had been wearing them long before scarves became scarves – that is, fashionable – in Konoha.

His mother turned to him, smiling as she approached. “Coming, dear. I have something to ask you, actually...”

The rest of her sentence was lost as the front door closed behind them, leaving the Boyfriend smirking in the kitchen.

%$#@$%^&%$#@@#$%$$$

Anko sauntered into the back of the clinic, trailing the leash of a very small dog. Marching purposefully, she led her charge to a gridded exam table. She couldn’t help a saucy smirk as Sakura let out a little yelp of joy.

“Trudy! My favourite puppy in the world! Are you ready to get your teeth cleaned?” Sakura cooed, bending over the wiggling animal. Trudy squirmed happily, delighted at the attention as the tech scooped her up into her arms.

Sakura plopped the dog on the table and looped a restraining noose around her neck. She ran her fingers soothingly over Trudy’s sides as Anko adjusted the dental equipment. Letting Anko watch the dog, Sakura reached for the syringe and the little bottle containing the sedative. She pierced the bottle’s cap and carefully measured the injection. Trudy stared on with bulgings eyes, her tail wagging furiously.

Anko adjusted her hold, steadying one of the dog’s forelegs for the needle. Trudy’s tail increased its velocity until it was practically battering Anko. Sakura tapped for a vein and pierced the skin. Trudy’s yelp rose in pitch until she was screaming like a small child in distress. Sakura finished injecting the sedative and pulled out, crooning, “There, there,” at the dog. With the needle gone, Trudy was quiet, her tail returning to its rapid slashing.

“Man,” Sakura said, stretching, “I’m covered in bruises.”

“Yeah?” said Anko, frowning as she stroked Trudy’s head. “What happened?”

“Oh, you know, my man’s back in town,” Sakura winked. “They’re the good kind.”

Anko smiled distractedly. “Oh.”

Naruto poked his head around the corner, dragging a chart and scowling Sasuke with him. He laughed. “Looks like we missed the show, O angsty one.”

Sasuke’s eyebrow arched irritably, “You agreed not to make shit up once you knew my name, or did you forget? Idiot.”

Naruto showed too many teeth as he smiled at his companion, “What are you talking about? I never promised not to make up humiliating nicknames, I just said I would if you didn’t divulge the real thing. Learn to read the Terms and Conditions before signing on next time, Sasuke.”

The new tech’s scowl deepened and he exhaled a tsk.

“Don’t frown too hard or your face might stick that way,” Naruto remarked sagely before turning back toward the women with a frown of his own. “Man, we missed Sakura poking into her favorite screamer.”

Sasuke’s head turned very slowly, an appalled What the hell did you just do to that poor animal look written into the arc of his eyebrow. Sakura flushed scarlet.

“Naruto!”

“What? Look at the poor little wiener. He’s shaking!”

“She!”

“Oh, so a wienette, then.”

“Naruto.”

He gave a little jump as Anko addressed him with her deadly smile. His obnoxiously bright expression flickered.

“I heard the door up front. Why don’t you go check it?” It was not a question, and the blond tech hopped to it, saluting the little group with a cheeky smile as he disappeared behind the door. Anko snickered.

Sasuke gave her a brief, wondering look. She made losing Naruto look easy. He turned away without a word, heading toward the pharmacy (in the opposite direction Naruto had taken) and musing that he had something to learn from that feisty woman.

In his wake, Sakura moved to another exam table with a sigh, rinsing off some surgical instruments she was going to pack up for the autoclave. Anko began to feed an oxygen tube down the sleeping Trudy’s throat in preparation for the dental.

“What do you think’s up with Naruto?” Sakura asked, grabbing a fistful of gauze.
Anko adjusted the tube. “Oh, don’t mind him. He’s trying to show off for the new guy.”

She caught Sakura’s skeptical eye and let out a quick laugh.

“Don’t you think he’s been more obnoxious than usual lately? And the lost puppy routine? Give me a break. He’s just sore that Sasuke has no trouble resisting his ‘charms.’” Anko sighed. “Being the most annoying man Sasuke’s ever met isn’t going to help his case, but Naruto’s got the romantic sense of a headless chicken. Ah, well, boys will be boys.” She shrugged before returning her gaze to Sakura with a wolfish grin, “Who knows? A little rejection might even him out a bit. The whole situation’s burning such a hole in his ego it’s hilarious.”

Cackling, Anko bent ominously over the unconscious dog, groping for the pointy dental instruments. She wedged Trudy’s mouth open, and clamped a pulse sensor to her tongue. The little dachshund was an image of pitiful; her mouth forced open into a snarl around the tube, and her little legs poking awkwardly out of her long, limp body.

Sakura pursed her lips in thought as Anko tested the electric tartar remover on the edge of the table. After a moment, she sighed, her eyebrows buckling. “Poor Naruto.”

Anko paused, stilling almost imperceptibly. She looked slowly up at Sakura, her face so serious she looked almost sad. But then her mouth sprang into one of her typical devilish smiles and she snorted, “I guess. But if Sasuke’s not interested, shouldn’t Naruto take a hint?”

Cheerful whistling rang down the hall, interrupting their discussion. The women fell silent, falling back into the rhythm of their work. The whistling got louder and Kiba came into view. He grinned at Sakura, his eyes bouncing up and down her figure. “Hey, there, beautiful.”

She gave him a charming smile, “With all due respect, Dr Inuzuka, I’ve got my hands on a spay kit and I know how to use it.”

He paled slightly and his eyes stilled on the metal instruments at her fingers. With no regard for personal safety, he then looked back up at her face and grinned audaciously. “Still full of spunk, I see. That’s my girl!”

Sakura lifted a particularly large pair of scissors into the air and snipped, smile still in place.

Kiba took the hint and sidled away to a computer, grumbling to himself.

Naruto came back in, looking over a chart. He glanced up at Kiba and drawled, “Ah, doctor, we’ve got a guy in there, says there’re worms in his dog’s eye.” He held two fingers to his lips and sucked in air, a comical expression on his face. He exhaled. “Smells like dope. I doubt you’ll find anything.”

Kiba took the chart, smirking. He clapped a hand on Naruto’s shoulder. “Hey, man, you want to come drinking tonight? I’m going to scout some chicks.”

Naruto grinned, “Hell yeah. Count me in!”

Kiba gave the tech’s shoulder another affectionate slap as he continued on his way. Once the exam room door had closed behind the doctor, Naruto flicked through the client database. He heard the front door chime and straightened, “And here comes the next one.” He grinned as he strode up front, “Booked to the second. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

@#$^#%$(**(&^%^$#@#$%$$$

While dusting the pharmacy, Sasuke came upon a very suspicious-looking clean streak. All of the bottles and boxes had been shoved strategically out of the way, and he saw a few telling paw prints in the surrounding blanket of dust. His only thought at that moment was that there was a reason the one-eyed cat was grey.

To tell the truth, he didn’t spend much time pondering the matter. He finished dusting, rearranged the bottles and was completely taken by surprise an hour later when confronted with a vengeful cat.

It sat slothfully at his feet, its lone eye glittering evilly up at him. Rage was written into every grey hair. Sasuke cursed colorfully in his head as he realized he’d destroyed its nest. Who knew what kind of scandalous voyeuristic escapades he’d ruined for the grey ball of fluff?

Sasuke swallowed. This could not be happening. He was a grown man. He had a black belt in Karate. He had survived the California public school system. He was being threatened with death and a world of pain by a one-eyed cat.

Life sucked. His horoscope had been wrong.

Sasuke didn’t dare move. He recognized impending doom when he saw it. In fact, he was focused so intently on his would-be murderer that he was, yet again, completely taken by surprise at the appearance of his savior.

His only warning was a flash of yellow and a horrified widening of the cat’s eye before it was scooped into the air. Naruto held the cat like a baby and it stretched itself out leisurely in his arms. Tanned fingers scratched expertly behind the cat’s ears, and its evil eye fell to a benevolent half-moon. Within a few seconds, Naruto had tamed the beast and saved the princess. Sasuke felt like he was trapped in a Disney movie. He narrowed his eyes. If Naruto started singing, he would kill him.

“I see you’ve met Sasuke.” He was talking to the cat. Good god he was talking to the cat. And who gave him permission to say his name in that gooey, endearing tone?

Blue eyes snuck over to Sasuke’s face and Naruto’s smile stretched at the expression there. “Sasuke, this is Kakashi, our clinic cat. He’s a total love bug. Come give him a pet.” Naruto smiled generously, as though he was offering Sasuke a sugar cookie, not assassination.

“Thanks, I’ll pass,” Sasuke said coldly, attempting a quick escape into an empty exam room.

Naruto dropped Kakashi, who fell gracefully on all four feet and marched away with his tail stuck up like a flag, a flash of cat butt saying exactly what he thought of them. The blond pouted. Usually guys dig the cute animal routine. Maybe he was losing his touch?

With a shouted protest of, “Hey, wait up!” Naruto chased after the retreating tech. After all, he had a whole repertoire of “romantic tactics” tucked up his polyester sleeve. He wasn’t about to give up now.

@$^$#^%@!@)(*&^%$#@!@$%^~!~#@$#^$$$

Konohamaru leaned against a building, gasping for air. He bent forward, grabbing his knees and hanging his head, his breath a white mist. Throwing cautious glances up and down the street, he resumed his course at a more agreeable pace. He was cutting class and didn’t want to be caught. With that thought in mind, he pulled his hat down over his eyebrows and arranged his scarf so that it hid some of his face. Feeling adequately disguised, Konohamaru began to brood.

Generally speaking, brooding was not in his nature. However, that afternoon, the day seemed to call for it. The sky was the color of wet concrete and every now and then a cold, dry wind would rattle between the buildings. Dead leaves had turned to sludge in the gutters and Konohamaru could smell the sewage treatment plant from where he walked. The miserable weather sunk in as he glumly reflected on his attendance record.

He cut class more than he should. He hated school. He hated the useless busywork, the biased teachers, even the unforgiving ways of his fellow students. He hated the system and it was failing him. Or maybe it was the other way around.

Konohamaru scowled at the ground, scuffing his feet against the cracked sidewalk. The worst part was he’d really tried today. He had sat himself very straight all first period and forbade himself from doodling. It had been mostly as a punishment to himself for ruining the bathroom that morning. His mother had gently reminded her son not to be so careless and had sent him disappointed vibes the entire car ride over.

He knew she would never punish him properly, so he punished himself. He forced himself to try in class. As he paid rapt attention to the lectures, he realized much to his increasing chagrin that he didn’t understand most of the coursework. By second period, misery had sunk in and all he could think about was his crack-brained grandfather wheezing and cackling that it’s “all downhill from here.”

So he ditched. It seemed the logical option. Live every day as your last, right? Well he’d be damned if he was going down in a classroom.

Konohamaru slunk around another street corner, keeping a weather eye out and feeling very much James Bond. He was on his way to New Leaf. Tsunade had been sick lately, and despite being extremely cool and above such emotions, Konohamaru was feeling somewhat concerned. Today was a day she was typically on call, and he was hoping she would be in.

But first, he had to make sure he got there in one piece. He was on a mission of stealth. His mouth curved up and his eyes squinted evilly, chuckling at his own sneaky maneuvers as he darted between parked cars. He heard the clicking of an approaching bicycle and threw himself behind a blue Honda. He couldn’t restrain a giggle as the stranger sped by unwittingly. He thought he saw something move in the car’s reflective door and froze when someone spoke behind him.

“Fancy finding you here. Can you take a dump somewhere else? You’re in my way,” said the voice. Konohamaru whipped around, face ashen, prepared to bolt. He did a double take when he recognized the man.

“Shikamaru!” It came out more shill than he’d intended. Konohamaru dramatically clutched his shirt above his heart, “you almost killed me.”

The man gave him a long, unreadable look. Then he blinked, a bored expression permeating his face. “Did you know that a rabbit will kill itself when it thinks it’s going to die?” He said blandly, as though he didn’t expect an answer.

Konohamaru answered anyway, his face bunching up in distaste. “That’s stupid. What does it do, hide a knife under its fur just-in-case?” he scoffed, heaving himself to his feet and walking beside the man as he resumed his leisurely pace.

“Heart attack,” the man said absently.

“Huh?”

Shikamaru let out a long-suffering sigh. “When a rabbit thinks it’s going to die, its heart will burst. An automatic suicide.” His eyes were distant and his tone of voice indicated closure.

The man stopped at a fire hydrant, removing his backpack and setting it cautiously on top. The boy stopped with him and watched as he pulled out a loaf of bread before pulling the bag back onto his shoulders. Resuming the pace, Shikamaru tore a hunk off the loaf and nibbled at it. He glanced down at Konohamaru.

“Want some?”

“Is it from the dumpster behind the bakery?”

“Yes.”

“No, thanks.”

Konohamaru was quiet a moment, before his face lit up in recollection. “Hey, Shikamaru, you were telling me a story last time, remember? About the boy who got hit by a truck? You didn’t finish. Tell me now? Pleease?”

Despondent eyes didn’t move from the scenery. Shikamaru took his time rolling the bread around in his mouth before responding. “Hmm. His subjects were shocked to discover that he was a turnip. The end.”

Konohamaru’s mouth hung open. He spluttered. “What? That’s not the end!”

“It’s the end.”

“No it’s not! That would be stupid. It doesn’t make sense! What happened to the boy?”

“What boy?”

“The one in the story. Duh!”

“Oh, him.”

“Yes, him. Well? Going to give your story some closure?”

“No.”

“Gah, you’re hopeless!”

The man’s distant eyes softened slightly and if he hadn’t been so livid, Konohamaru might have seen the corners of his mouth twitch.

!#)(*&^%$#!@%$@!$$$$

“Wake up. Come on, girly girl, wake up,” Anko said in a singsong voice. She reached down an arm and shook the dog, the gesture rattling the exam table. When Trudy didn’t react, Anko checked her breathing and gave a few experimental pumps of air into the tube still down the dog’s throat. She bustled around the room, putting away a few stray bottles before going back to shake the dog.

It took a few minutes, but Trudy’s glassy eyes finally blinked and she sat up groggily. Trying to inhale around the tube in her throat, she choked and began to hack. She let out a panicked whine that escalated into a full-out shriek. Anko quickly removed the tube and Trudy’s mouth hung open, letting out a series of terrified screams that sounded disturbingly human.

Anko scooped her up, cuddling the unhappy dog as she stared ahead with dilated, unseeing eyes. She set Trudy on a towel in a small cage in the Hospital Ward. She closed the door to the ward to muffle the dog’s agonized wailing and sat beside the cage. She tilted her head against the wall and closed her eyes. She licked her lips and began to tell a story about a boy who was hit by a car.

@#!$%$!@$#!$#@#$$$

Sasuke, who had been in the process of fleeing another of Naruto’s attempts at romance, froze at the sound of a woman’s bloodcurdling scream. He stood perfectly still, thrumming with tension and listening intently. He could hear her sobbing and shrieking in another fit of hysteria. His feet led him automatically toward the disturbance. She had probably broken something. She would hold him and cry, making his shirt damp with her snot and tears. She would beg him not to leave her, saying she needed her baby boy, she needed her son. And he would let her cry. He would sit stiffly beside her as she clung to him, and there would be no emotion on his face. He would clean up the mess and carry her to her bed, but when the summer ended he would still leave for college.

Sasuke blinked at the empty room. He was standing in front of an exam table littered with the evidence of a dental. He was at the clinic, at work. The summer had ended; he was in college. He had left his mother’s house behind. Sasuke took a deep breath as he pulled himself back together. Someone bumped into him from behind and a strong arm wrapped around his chest as he stumbled. Somehow, he didn’t have the energy to be angry.

“Sasuke, you alright?” He felt hot breath on the back of his neck.

He didn’t reply, opting instead to slither out of Naruto’s grip. He didn’t feel like being touched right then.

Across the room, another door opened and Dr Inuzuka came striding in. His eyes caught on the two techs and a smile stretched across his face.

“You won’t believe it,” he said triumphantly, watching Naruto closely for his reaction.

“Won’t I?” Naruto said, a wry smile on his face.

“Remember that guy who said there were worms in his dog’s eye?”

Naruto laughed, “The one who smelled like weed?” Kiba didn’t reply. Instead, his lips turned up evilly and Naruto’s amused expression faltered. “Oh, no,” he said faintly.

Kiba chuckled dangerously. “I was hoping you might hold him while I made the diagnosis.”

Naruto suddenly looked rather ill.

“So actually found worms?” Sasuke asked, speaking for the first time since entering the room. He had regained his composure, and was looking at the doctor with poorly disguised interest.

Kiba grinned outright, “Did I ever.”

!#)(*&^%$#!@%$@!$$$

There was a crick in Tsunade’s back. Her neck ached and her stomach felt jumbled. She sighed, rubbing a temple as she held the corded phone to her ear.

“Mmhmm, so three twenty it is then. Thank you for your call.” She had barely set it on its receiver when it rang again. “Argh. New Leaf Animal Clinic, this is Tsunade, how may I help you? Alright, I’ll let the doctor know. When would you like to reschedule? Thursday? Let me see…”

The front door jingled, and she raised a weary eye, automatically holding up a finger to stall the next customer. A wary head snuck past the doorframe and Tsunade recognized the boy as his pinched expression dissolved into a cheek-splitting smile.

“Tsu-“

The finger she was holding up flew to her lips and her eyebrows crashed down in warning. Konohamaru quickly stifled his words, clapping a hand over his mouth as though swallowing pills. Tsunade’s face lightened, and she winked at him as he sidled behind the counter.

“Hmm, on Thursday, we only have a couple slots available in the morning but most of the afternoon is free. Four o’clock? Fantastic. I’ll put you right in…”

Konohamaru sat himself on the floor at Tsunade’s feet, beaming at the two dogs also hidden under the desk. The large, white dog bat his feathered tail and scooted closer for a pet, while the smaller Chihuahua mix stalked irritably across the room to shiver in front of the heater. Konohamaru kept quiet, rubbing behind the white dog’s brown ears in a sort of nonverbal dialogue. He could smell Tsunade’s feet through her clogs, but it didn’t bother him. Like the dogs, he felt at home under the desk. It was shady and protected, and he couldn’t help but to feel safe. The boy smiled as he ran his fingers over the dog’s silky ears. Yes, this was where he belonged.

When Tsunade was finally freed of the telephone, the boy piped up, “So Dr Inuzuka is on call. And Sakura, right?” He flushed slightly at the woman’s name, grinning madly up at Tsunade from the depths of the desk. She smiled back tiredly, giving him a slight nod. Ugh, the brat has so much energy.

“You’re here early. Shouldn’t you be at school?”

“No… well…” he gave her an unhappy half-smile. “You know.”

Tsunade sighed. Yes, she knew. Konoha’s educational systems were going to hell. But that shouldn’t stop him from trying.

“Babe, what classes do you have left today?”

His mouth turned down. “History, PE, um, Art and Science. Why?”

Tsunade scooted back in her chair a little to look squarely at the boy. “I’d like you to go back to school for your last few periods.” She saw he was about to protest and cut in, “Babe, how are you going to be a vet if you don’t go to school? It takes years and years of education.”

“But Naruto didn’t like school, and look at –”

“Naruto is a special case –”

“Why, because he’s Naruto?”

“No, because he’s friends with Dr Sabaku.”

Konohamaru’s mouth made a little O. Tsunade nodded. That’s right. See?

“But,” the boy whispered, “Dr Sabaku is really intense. He, like, has no eyebrows.” Suddenly he frowned, sitting a little taller. “But wait a minute! That’s favoritism.”

“Well, favoritism gave him the opportunity, but he had to work really hard to keep on it.”

“I’ll work really hard!”

“I’m sure you will, but you need the opportunity first.”

“I’m friends with you. That should count for something.”

‘You know –” The phone rang. “New Leaf Animal Clinic, this is Tsunade, how can I help you?”

Konohamaru huffed, curling deeper under the desk. “Nobody loves me,” he mouthed dramatically to the white dog. Akamaru wagged his tail, sniffing at the boy’s fingers. Konohamaru looked up as Tsunade passed him a sticky note.

Experience looks good on a resume. Start filing.

His smile threatened to crack his face. Tsunade winked at him as he dove for the patient folders.

!#)(*&^%$#!@%$@!$$$

“No way,” Anko hissed, leaning in closer, “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“That is so gross, but so cool. Don’t they look like tentacles?” Sakura whispered giddily.

They were huddled around the dog, a large shepherd mix that looked extremely uncomfortable as Kiba peeled back its eyelid for a better view. All around the eye, on the cornea and underneath the eyelids, were tiny white worms. The techs bent forward, staring intently in both interest and disgust at the small, writhing parasites. Even Sasuke looked interested, his face relaxed for once, lips parted slightly as he watched the spectacle.

If Naruto hadn’t felt so nauseous, he would have wanted to kiss him. As it was, he was huddled on the far side of the room, staring intently at a poster offering illustrated how-to instructions on CPR and the Heimlich maneuver. He heard footsteps and recognized Sasuke’s ratty sneakers from the corners of his eyes.

“Squeamish much?” There was a smug note in the tech’s voice that got under Naruto’s skin. His mouth turned down and his eyebrows puckered irritation. Abrasive bastard. I bet he’s been waiting for a chance like this all day. Caught up in his own melodrama, he conveniently forgot he’d been picking on Sasuke since they met. He pouted petulantly. And he’s talking to me of his own free will. How out of character.

“Hmph,” was Naruto’s eloquent reply. Narrowed eyes glanced testily at Sasuke’s face. The tech was smirking. It was an aggravatingly haughty expression; one Naruto unhappily suspected he’d be seeing more of. Readjusting his stance rather snobbishly, the blond tech returned his gaze to the CPR/Heimlich maneuver poster. With a smug smirk of his own, he decided to turn the tables.

“Hmm, Sasuke,” he purred, giving the tech a disturbingly lecherous look, “How would you like to play doctor? You can take off your clothes, and I’ll get my stethoscope.” He was rewarded by the angry flush that crept across Sasuke’s cheeks. “Or you could lie on your back and – ” he cast a scheming glance at the poster, “— we could practice CPR.” He tapped the illustration triumphantly, bouncing his eyebrows. He gave Sasuke the mother of shit-eating grins, having made what he considered to be a successful pass at him. Sasuke himself did not look impressed.

“Sounds great,” he said scathingly. “I’ve always wanted to have my ribs crushed by a blond idiot.”

“I won’t crush them, I’LL BE GENTLE!” Naruto shouted at the back of Sasuke’s retreating head, oblivious to the stares of his coworkers. Sakura, Anko and Kiba were watching Naruto incredulously over the worm-eye dog’s head. As Naruto returned to his study of the CPR poster, the three exchanged vaguely mortified glances. Naruto pouted, oblivious to how his friends were shaking with repressed laughter.

@#!%$!$#!$#!@#%#$$$

It got dark quickly, something Sasuke was keenly aware of as he made his way across the parking lot to his bike. Hn. I shouldn’t be so anxious, he chastised himself. It was dark, sure, but it was only twenty feet or so from the artificial light of the clinic. It wasn’t exactly the best part of Konoha, either. In spite of himself, Sasuke moved a little faster. That’s right, all there is to do is unlock the bike, make it across some sketchy intersections and go on my merry way. That’s right, nothing to be worried about. Except, of course, the guy who stabbed that lady last week. Who’s still at large.

Sasuke swore. His brilliant analysis wasn’t working. He stomped (more like irately tiptoed) over to the tree where he had tethered his bicycle. Only it was gone. Sasuke stood very still, staring incomprehensively at the severed lock. He made a tiny, strangled noise in the back of his throat and fled, making a mad dash for the lit windows of the clinic.

Naruto stared as the door jingled and Sasuke flew in, cheeks flushed and breath erratic. Sasuke took a moment to collect the scattered pieces of his dignity. Hair and heart rate back in place, he met Naruto’s curious blue gaze with a haughty look only he could have pulled off.

“You got a car?”

$#@!%$@!#$##^$#!$$$~+=^%#U%#@

Sasuke lived by the mission, on the second floor of a dingy apartment complex. It was less than a two-minute detour, one that Naruto was more than happy to make.

“Here is fine,” Sasuke said, speaking for the first time since getting into the car. He flicked dark bangs out of his eyes and ducked out of the car door. Naruto didn’t miss a beat. He was out of the driver’s seat and chasing after the dark-eyed man before he could really process what he was doing.

“Sasuke,” he said as he caught up to him. The man stopped walking and tensed, looking at Naruto uneasily. The blond grinned at him as he passed him, heading for the battered apartment complex Sasuke had been approaching.

“Where are you going, idiot?”

Naruto turned to face him, walking backward toward his destination. “Why, I’m walking you in, of course.”

Sasuke looked annoyed, but started walking again. “Tch, piss off, won’t you?”

Naruto raised his eyebrows, “Such hostility! I’m just being the gentleman here.” – Sasuke resisted the urge to scoff – “And besides, if I’m going to be picking you up in the morning, I’ve got to know which door to bang on. I’d hate to get an earful from one of your crotchety neighbors.”

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed, “This is a onetime thing, dumbass. Don’t expect to make it a habit.”

“What, you got a car?” Naruto decided to take the stony silence as a ‘no.’ “Well, with your bike gone, how’re you supposed to get to work on time?”

“What do you care?” Urgh, go away.

“Well, the economy is declining, we’re in a recession, global warming is biting our asses, I mean come on. We’re all going to die anyway. Why not give it a shot?”

Sasuke gave him a weird look. Naruto grinned awkwardly. What was he arguing for again? Oh, yeah…

“What I mean to say is, we should carpool together. It’s economically friendly,” he added hopefully. Sasuke still looked skeptical. And suspicious. He was giving Naruto a wary eye as they took to the stairs. The staircase was grey and unadorned, and their voices echoed up the floors. Naruto decided to attack from another angle.

“I guess you could take the bus. The only downside is you’d have to get to work an hour early. Yeah, crappy bus schedule. I suppose it wouldn’t be too bad. You could go shopping at the grocery store in the extra time. Good luck hiding your food from Kakashi, though.” Naruto realized he was rambling and quickly stopped. The next few moments of silence were uncomfortable. They stopped in front of Sasuke’s door and Sasuke unlocked it easily, taking a moment to jiggle the door out of its frame so he could open it. He took a step inside the dark room, pausing with his back to Naruto.

“Hn. You’d better not be late.”

He shut the door and Naruto stood dumbly out in the hall, a smile creeping across his face. He grinned wildly at the brass number 48. With a whoop, he howled, “8:30 sharp, jerk. Don’t you be late!” and sped off. Down the hall, an old woman shook her fist.


A/N Thank you so much for reading! Chapter 3 will be out eventually, and I’m already working on Chapter 4, so… I don’t know. I’ll try to up the ante.

I was thinking that if anyone had ideas for patients, that could be fun. I mean, I’m fine thinking them up by myself, but if anyone wanted to make things more interactive, that could be cool too.

Thanks again! Ciao.