Conversations

I never, ever EVER expected responses like that. And especially so fast!!

Ahh well, for eveyone who reviewed, here's more random crack for you.

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"What the hell did you do now?"

"The hell?! How do you know anythings wrong?!"

"Don't be a retard. I'm part of you, remember. I know something's happened..."

"I...I don't wanna say..."

"Naruto. If you don't fucking 'fess up, I'm gonna rip you to shreds from the inside out,"

"I has sex with Sasuke."

"Yeah, so?"

"The fuck d'you mean 'yeah, so'?!"

"What's wrong with that?"

"I'm...I...I mean..."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Well...yeah, I guess..."

"Did he?"

"I think so..."

"Did anyone get hurt?"

"My ass kinda hurts..."

"I mean emotionally."

"Oh. Um, no."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I-Idunno...I just...wasn't really expecting it..."

"Oh well then...that's no one's fault I suppose... Still, when are you two getting together again?"

"Huh? I dunno...kinda thought it was a one time thing..."

"Naruto, allow me to explain something... You and me, we're both half of the same being, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"I'm the kind of creature who mates for life, Naruto."

"So?"

"So, you can't treat this like some kind of learning experience and move on. I know you were a vigrin before. Was Sasuke one?"

"Uhh...yeah, I think so..."

"That settles it. You belong to him, and he belongs to you."

"WHAT?!"

"You've chosen each other to be with. Don't be pissed off, Naruto. Sasuke may be a bit of an ass but you coulda done much worse."

"Wait, wait, hold on. You're saying I have to stay with Sasuke for the rest of my life?"

"Essentially, yes."

"B-but...what if I don't want to?"

"Do you want to?"

"Well...it wouldn't be that bad, I guess..."

"Does he want to?"

"I dunno. What if he wants to revive his clan or whatever?"

"Just ignore that. It's a minor detail. What really matters is my happiness."

"You mean mine."

"Okay, sure."

"Are you just bullshitting me again? Like that time you told me I'd become the next Hokage for sure if I streaked through the village in the middle of winter because nudity in near freezing temperatures builds character?"

"Um...no?"

"'Kay, just checking..."

"Anyway, now you've connected with Sasuke, you can't just let it go."

"I'm sorry man, but I really don't get this..."

"Then fucking listen! Perhaps you don't have to stay together forever, but you need to keep some sort of relationship going for the time being, just until I can figure out what to do with you..."

"So...if we have sex again...does that count as a relationship?"

"Uhh...well...I guess so...technically, it counts as proof that you're both commited to each other..."

"Commi-what-ed?"

"Nevermind. Yeah, sure, go screw him again. Maybe I'll keep an eye on you this time to...observe..."

"Eww! No way, I don't want you watching!"

"I'll only be there in the back of your mind...and hey, I'm a passionate creature! I can lend you some of my lust if you want. Team that with your natural stamina, and you're golden!"

"The what now?"

"You really are a very special boy, aren't you?"

"Thank you?"

"You're welcome, kid. Go screw his brains out."

"But..."

"What?"

"Won't he be the one screwing me...?"

"Did I say I cared?"

"No."

"Then stop talking and go away."

"Okay...but if I-"

"I said LEAVE."

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Oookay...whatever...

xxx