Red

The world came whirling back into place. Gaara felt his blood coursing through his veins as a serious head-ache landed in his head. He choose too keep his eyes closed for the moment. Pretending he was still fast asleep, still confused from his "meeting" with the weird thing in his head.

Had he just dreamt it all up? But it felt so real.. he pondered it while trying to ignore the hard beating threatening to fracture his skull from the inside. But found it a lost battle after several minutes of trying. He was looking for a reason within reasons that did not exist, and found no answer that could calm him, other than that it had had to bee a dream.. or a nightmare. Deep down, he knew better. But he wasn`t ready to face that yet, so he repressed it down into the blackest corners of his mind along with the blood lust, still lingering in his spine and eyes. He felt like he needed to see that again, to feel that rush of total control over someone elses life(or death), but why?

A rustling sound in front of him brought him back from his dazed inner state,then someone was touching his face. Not a lingering, gentle touch, but yet.. someone was *touching his face. His head was tilted to the side, followed by a smal tickling in his ear. Then the hand, tilted his head the other way. And the same tickling followed in the other ear. The movement was swift and profesional. Like it had been done a thousand times, and then a thousand times over again.

" Everything seems fine, but set up a reservation at the MRI. I find it rather hard to belive that the last results can be correct." The voice was directed to someone else further away from the bed.

Gaara homed his senses in on the presence, the soft smell of flowered perfume tingled his nose. It was definitely a girl. And he recognized her perfume from the ones that had lingered on his body when he first awoke.

"Yes Dr.Hatake." a smal rustling sound, like someone was bowing down, light footsteps, followed by a door closing and then utter silence again. The only sound was the light breathing from the man standing beside him and the scribbing from a happy pen

"Mah...Guess it`s just me and you then.What is your name?" the voice was lazy, yet gentle.. not irritating and high pitched like the girls. His head approved this soft tone echoing in his skull, without irritating the banging monster inside.(if he only knew the truth behind those toughts.)

"I gave you something to bring you back out from your rather deep slumber, but your body is going to feel heavy like that for a while. We wouldn`t want you to start ripping out your Iv lines again now do we? It`s bad enough you ripped out your intubation tube on your own, even if it was rather funny seeing Ino frantic like that." A small chuckle could be heard.

"Oh, I`m sorry... I almost forgot. I`m Dr. Hatake, and I`m your doctor here. You`re at the Konoha Hospital, in the intensive care wing, but we`ll be moving you as soon you seem stable enough, which shouldn`t be too long from now. Do you remember what happened?"

Gaara didn`t answer the doctor, he just shook his head lightly, before he let his eyes open slowly. The doctor had pulled close the curtains, and the only light casting shadows was a small lamp on the nightstand. For this Gaara was thankfull. And so was his pounding monster trying to break out through its half shattered seal. Gaara locked eyes with the doctor. And noticed that the doctor had missmatched eyes, one grey and the other blood red. Gaara kept eye contact as he leaned back into his pillows while tracking the scar running down the doctors chin, giving him a mysterious air.

Then it sank in,the doctor had asked for his name, they didn`t know who he was either.There was no one coming to help him. No one to tell him who he was, his name.. where he could go, how he was supposed to act.. why he could hear a small laughter in the back of his skull, mocking his weakness. (he tried to ignore it the best he could, because it was not there... not for real) He felt a lump form in his throat, the feeling so foreign to his body that he knew instantly that this, this wasn`t who he was, or used to be, was supposed to be.

Kakashi felt his heart skip a beat as he met those eyes You could see the wild waves of the seven oceans in those eyes. coloured in jade..no pupiles to hide the soul behind. `How fittingly they found him in a halo of sand.` he mused, as he found himself unable to break the contact with the ensnaring gaze of the predator currently nummed on the white sheets.

Gaara didn`t miss the small flicker in the doctors eyes. The same hungry look the nurses did nothing to hide. But what exactly did it mean?

"Hm..Its common to forget when something knock you out that hard. You have been here a week. Your vital signs were jumping up and down when you arrived, so we had to intubate you, to help you breathe. And give you some drugs to stabilize your heart and blood levels. Since you were bleeding from your ears when you arrived, we decided to give you an MRI. And found some scar tissue forming on your frontal lobe, in addition to some strange activity in a part of your brain that shouldn`t be there. Since youre awake I`d like to do some tests on you later, if thats alright with you that is?"

Gaara thought about this for a while.. a strange activity? What exactly did that mean?

The doctor sighed. "Mah..I`m sorry. I guess youre tired, seeing you just woke up. I`ll come by later to get your name and such, unless you feel like telling me now. So I can contact your family for you. I bet their worried about you you know."

"I-I don`t know.." it was so hard to confess..to tell this stranger about his weakness. He was no longer in control of his own mind, unable to even remember his own name. Something even a child could do.. even a dog. And he couldn`t recall anything. Not even the way it should sound when it rolled of someones tounge. His dark past lying cold, dead in the nothingness swallowed by the monster still heard screaming at him. (but *that* was not real)

The doctor looked concerned..and pulled out a chair ment for visitors, friends and family, to sit beside his bed.
"You don`t know?"

Gaara swallowed hard, his voice shaking slightly as he tried to make a sound. He cut himself off, and he decided not to speak, afraid of what would come out. A scream? A whisper? Or the wicked laughter echoing in the back of his head? He just wanted to break away from this.. this hell.

Kakashi could see the flicker of fear in the boys eyes, before he steeled them again. He leaned in closer and smiled a careful smile.
"These things can happen when it comes to head trauma. Usually the memories return in a couple of days. Maybee not all at once, but I`m sure it`ll flow back to you." Whispers in the back of his mind distracted him from the doctors words.

`He`ll never be able to help you, no one can.. only I can.`

The boys eyes took on a glassy look as he disapeared into his internal world, once again searching for answers long gone.

"I`ll come by later if I have time, if not I`ll see you tomorrow. That head-ache should have cleared by then. Just press the little device here,..." Something was placed in Gaaras right palm."...and you`ll feel instantly better, just don`t overdo it, ok?"

The room fell silent again, and Gaara pressed the little button on the device and was rewarded with a flowing relief from the beating in his head. But, if he didn`t show any signs of a recent head injury...why was he having such a bad head-ache? And why couldn`t he remember anything?

*************************************'

Kakashi stood just outside the redheads room. The nurses were right, the boy was...in lack of better words beatiful...stunningly, to say the least. Kakashi had just gotten this patient from Dr Tsunade. The blond haired woman had mentioned the nurses chrushing on this boy, and kakashi had gotten his confirmation the moment he stepped inside that room. Several flowers adorned the surfaces and various get well cards. All from the nurses at the hospital.
Poor Ino had nearly gotten a heart attack when she thought her precious little pet had died. Kakashi smiled to himself and shook his head lightly. Girls...

But how old was the boy? He didn`t look a day over eighteen, but something about his aura, told Kakashi that he was probably older. But how old? Mah, it didn`t matter..The boy was too young for him anyway.

And why was he even thinking about that? The boy was, after all his patient. And they had strict rules about these kind of things here, just like Kakashi had pointed out to Ino in a mocking tone earlier.

Oh, how he loved to rile the feisty girl up. He smiled to himself and strolled down the hospital ward whistelling to himself.

He looked forward to seeing the boy again tomorrow.


The rising sun swallowed yet another dawn at the cold hospital. Gaara was sitting in his bed. Currently content with himself. It had been a long struggle against gravity, and too many pillows, to get up in a somewhat comfortable position. And to top the misery, when he first had gotten up. He had spotted the panel used to automatically lift or lower the bed.... He refused to acknowledge it`s existence.

He had gotten no sleep at all that night, but he didn`t feel tired. He had slept enough... and he had realized, sometime during the night, that he didn`t know how he looked like.

He had felt to weak to use the bathroom (In a normal matter, he had a tube...) since he woke up, and thus, hadn`t seen a mirror. He knew how the rest of his body looked like. His arms, hands, chest and stomach.. the little red curls further down, his dick, sack and his long legs.. toes. But not his face. So as he lay there, he had once again lifted his arms to his face and felt the soft skin. but still he longed to see a mirror.

He closed his eyes and drifted away. The pounding on his brain had eased somewhat, and now only a small tingle lingered. The voice (that still wasn`t real) was barely a whisper. For some reason it sounded more desperate. Like it needed to provoke a reaction from him. But he refused to give in.

Even if he did have a memory loss, he wasn`t stupid. Starting to try and kill everything and everyone within an arms reach(he was stuck in bed) was a sure way to get stuck here for a longer time than necessary.. so he kept his indifferent mask on, because it fitted him so naturally, and ignored the silent plea for blood, flowing like a steady mantra in his head.

The nurse had already been in his room during the morning rounds. Just cheking his values and drawing some blood. The sheer sight of it triggering his inner monster, making it howl with desperate madness. Giving him a slight head-ache again.

On the second visit, the- should- be- medicated- bitch ,had been rambling on and on about this and that. Cooing over him, stroking his forehead and asking him about his tattoo. He had cringed from the touch, but she obviously didn`t take a hint. He hadn`t pushed her away. Hadn`t responded at all, he had just stared out the distant window.. watching the shadows from the clouds drift by, trying the best he could to block out his other senses.

"Do you have a mirror?" He spoke quietly. And her eyes sparkled as she got a response from the silent boy. She was so going to gloat about this to the others.

"Off course I do. Why? do you want to borrow it?" she swayed her hipps as she walked towards him. he just nodded as he followed the movement.

Why did she do that? Did she know that she walked like a goose? Maybee she had troubles with her legs? He frowned as he thought about it..

she placed a little pink makeup mirror in his hands, making sure to let her fingers linger on his for a while before she stepped back and smiled at him.

"Here..you can keep it till I get back, right now the patient next door needs me for his daily check up"

Gaara didn`t hear her words, he was too occupied staring at the strangers eyes, looking back from the mirror. Jade.. no pupils.A black thick rim around them. He reached up and rubbed gently. The black wouldn`t go away. A tattoo?

He blinked a couple of times, and bowed his head a bit. Spotting his other tattoo.. Love? Did he know love?Or rather.. had he known it? Felt it? He frowned... was someone looking for him?

His hair was red, but this he already knew.. and he had to admit, he wasn`t bad looking.

He looked much younger then he felt.

He smirked to himself and bared his teeth to the mirror. White pearls on a string. He extended his tounge, and studied it too.. pink and wet. Then his ears got his attention, not too smal and not to big, hiding slightly under the red tussled strands. He tugged at the ear flipp to check that this person staring back, really was him, not just another person reflecting his actions. The little sting was reassuring..

He sat, just looking at the stranger staring back, for over an hour. Feeling more and more angry at the person staring back

"Do you know me?" the reflection smirked at him. It looked like it was keeping secrets, and he didn`t like it.

"Make me understand?" The reflection smiled again. And Gaara pointed his tounge out, making a stupid face before he put the mirror away under his pillow. Best not to show *him* what was going on.

The nurse entered the room again with a weelchair infront of her. "It`s time for your MRI Red-kun." She smiled gently at him,and gestured to the cold metal chair.

`So, so weak boy....`




(A/N: Melha Seraphim.. glad you liked..I`ll try to erhm...find more of my typos. Hehe.. but it`s sooooo boring! And I don`t have one of those program`s to find them for me on my computer sooo.. But I`ll try harder. For you ;P anyway if any of them is too anoying just let me know and I`ll fix.
And trulywicked thank you! thank you! It feels so good to have that one out of my system.. hehe..)