Tadaima

Chapter one: Nagareboshi







Title: Tadaima

Author: Shushu and duchess_pol

Pairing: Naruto/Sasuke and Naruto/? in future chapters

Rating: R, you’ve been warned!!!!

Summary: Two years have passed after Sasuke killed Itachi, but the boy hasn’t come back to Konoha yet. What will Naruto do?

Warnings: A bit of angst, this is a SLASH fic (=boy/boy love, sex, everything!), don’t like, don’t read!

Disclaimers: Unfortunately we don’t own these characters, life is tough…

Author’s note: The fanfic takes place after Konoha has defeated Akatsuki, possible spoilers about the manga until chapter 384 can be found, but not many =)

We are not English, so if you find some mistakes, please don’t think we are brainless illiterates…

Kisses and hugs to Iani, our wonderful beta reader!

Reviews: Yes, please! =)



Xxxxxx ---- xxxxxX



«Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them you will reach your destiny. »

--Carl Schurz, (1829-1906)



“I’m so hungry I could eat a boar…”.

Naruto sighed, as he finally left the Hokage building after ten hours of hard work, which had seemed more like ten years of torture at Tsunade’s mercy…the old hag!…his stomach groaned loudly, but just the thought of a huge bowl of ramen cheered him up, so he started walking faster, heading towards Ichiraku Ramen, whistling softly as he pictured the steaming bowl in his mind.

It was early autumn and the night air was getting colder, so he put on his jacket. He arched his stiff back to stretch it and, as he tilted his head to stare at the dark blue sky above him, he saw it.

A streaming light, clear and shiny, crossing the sky like a firework.

“A shooting star…” That light made him think of him again… well, basically anything made him think of him these days... Painful memories were waiting behind every corner… and now this…

One year before, when he was training with Kakashi-sensei and Yamato-taicho, he used to sit on the roof of his house in the evenings, to watch the sky until late at night. He had begun doing that because he couldn’t sleep, and staying in bed just made it all worse, turning and sighing, thinking about a way to find Orochimaru or to defeat Akatsuki. Therefore, he had taken up going out and laying down on the rooftop, to calm down and relax. And then, every time he caught glimpse of a shooting star, he would close his eyes and make a wish.

The wish was always the same. To have him back. Sasuke… To be finally able to bring him back to Konoha.

Somehow it felt pathetic that now, after three years of fighting, searching, pain, he still hoped. He had trained, had given up everything else in his life, but Sasuke hadn’t come back.

The Shinobi of Konoha had fought against Akatsuki, they had managed to defeat its members one by one, and some of them had even given their life for that.

Jiraya, Asuma, Akamaru, Ino, Shizune… And many others.

Naruto felt a pang in his chest. One year had gone by, but the pain was still there. He still missed them.

And he still missed Sasuke.

Even if Sasuke had managed to take his revenge on his brother Itachi after a long and tough fight, he hadn’t come back to Konoha as Naruto had always thought he would; even though Naruto had pleaded, yelled, and then finally begged him to come back, Sasuke had left him there alone, vanishing for a whole year and Naruto hadn’t heard from him since.

“Sasuke…”

The shooting star had already vanished when Naruto finally shrugged away his thoughts and moved again, his wish remaining unspoken. Nevertheless, he knew that deep inside his heart there was only one desire, still the same after all that time, but this made him feel like an idiot, because so long had passed without a change.

Sasuke still hadn’t come back to him…





“Naruto!”

A familiar voice called him from behind and as he turned he saw Sakura running up to him, a broad smile painted on her face.

“How are you?”, asked Sakura cheerfully. Naruto tried to smile, but he knew that Sakura, after all the time they had spent together on missions, could read his feelings with just a glance.

“I…tired, you know…and a bit thoughtful, maybe”. He looked down and felt Sakura’s hand on his arm.

“How about we go to Ichiraku Ramen? My treat for today, ok?”. A warm feeling, a mix of surprise and gratitude, spread in Naruto’s chest and he smiled, nodding at her.

As they walked down the street Naruto thought about how Sakura had always been on his side during those difficult years, like a friend, like a sister and sometimes like a mother, taking care of him when he was injured or ill or when he felt so miserable for missing Sasuke that he couldn’t even muster the strength to get up and eat. She had stayed even though he wouldn’t tell her what it was that made him so downhearted.

She had been by his side.

The childhood feelings he used to have for her had changed…they had become deeper, but affection had replaced attraction and now she was more like a sister to him. Since he had stopped thinking of her as the girl he was in love with their relationship had become steadier.

He looked at her as they sat down, the smell of ramen filling his nostrils and making his stomach grumble with impatience.

Sakura turned and smiled at him.

“Sakura, are you sure you can eat with me? Won’t Sai be jealous?”, Naruto asked.

The girl sighed and looked down at the bowl.

“Sai? Jealous?!?! Nope…he’s too thick to be jealous…hopeless case…”

“Sakura! He’s your boyfriend!”, Naruto stared at her in disbelief.

“I know, but he’s sooooo dumb sometimes…”, she moped and Naruto smiled.

“What’s he done now?”, he asked grinning. Sai was pretty famous for upsetting people with his peculiar manners.

“Well, I’ve caught him with a big book titled The Shinobi Kamasutra: 100 ways to make your girlfriend scream like a monkey”

Naruto burst out laughing, Sai was so weird sometimes…Sakura was fuming and cursing under her breath.

“Me? A monkey?!?! And the worst was that I’ve caught him looking at the book while we were having sex! He kept it under the bed!”

As Naruto punched the table to keep the fit of laughter from killing him, Sakura went on with her tirade:

“And it’s not just that! Since I was jealous because he used to tell all the girls he met that they were beautiful, I told him to stop. Guess what he did?”

“No, I don’t dare…”, said Naruto grinning.

“He started insulting them! He told my mother she is an old hag!! Today he even told Godaime she is a curvaceous slut!!!”

Sakura stopped talking for a moment as Naruto struggled and sputtered around the last ramen, which had gone down the wrong way and was now choking him in his laughter.

“Oh my God, that’s why she was so upset today!”

Naruto wiped away the tears that had formed at the corner of his eyes as Sakura sighed and shook her head.

“But you know, Naruto, I still like him”, she said softly as they left Ichiraku Ramen, smiling sweetly at him. “Even if Sai is weird and sometimes he embarrasses me, he is cute and I like the way I feel when I’m with him. I’m happy...”

Naruto looked fondly at her as they walked down the street, heading towards Sakura’s house.

“Sometimes I wonder how my life would be now if I were still waiting for Sasuke”, she said, “and I think that I wouldn’t be as happy as I am. Sasuke just loved me as a friend, as a team-mate, maybe as a sister, but he would never have loved me. Especially because I was so bitchy at the time… When I realized it, I stopped waiting for him as I used to. I mean, I still want him to come back, but the feelings I have for him are the same that I have for you...and that you have for him.”

Naruto looked down and scratched his head. He turned and whispered:

“So you don’t love him anymore?”

“Just as a friend.”

”I see...”

Sakura sighed and put her hand on Naruto’s shoulder.

“Naruto, I’ve noticed that recently you’re kind of stiff when we talk about Sasuke...”

“Wh-what do you mean?”, stuttered the boy.

“I mean...have you grown to hate him? Have you stopped waiting for him because he hasn’t come back to Konoha after Itachi’s death?”

Naruto gaped and stared at her as if she had grown two heads.

“No way!”, he burst out laughing, “how in Hell could I hate him? No, don’t worry.”

Sakura looked relieved and grinned back at him.

“Alright, sorry if I asked. I didn’t mean to bother you.”

They had arrived right in front of her house. Sakura kissed him on the cheek and thanked him.

“Goodnight, Naruto-kun.”

“Sweet dreams, Sakura-chan.”





As he walked down the dark empty streets that led to his flat, Naruto thought about what Sakura had told him.

She was right: he acted weird when they talked about Sasuke, but it certainly wasn’t because he hated him...it was quite the opposite, actually...

Besides, even though he was happy for Sakura and Sai, he couldn’t admit to her that a part of him was jealous of the fact that everybody had a girlfriend or a boyfriend. He had lots of friends now, he wasn’t as lonely as he had been as a child, but he was still missing something, he missed love… Everybody looked so happy, spending time with the ones they loved, kissing, cuddling, even doing silly things like bickering over useless matters; he felt lonely when he looked at his friends and remembered he didn’t have anything like that.

He arrived home and entered, dropping the keys on the table. He lay down and sighed.

He missed Sasuke so much...

“Alright, time to take a shower and go to bed!”, he got up and lazily undressed, thinking about how it would have felt to have someone taking off his clothes.

Oh, no...not that again...

He felt his body stiffen and get hot, the lower part of his body suddenly awakening despite his tiredness.

“Hell...it’s the fifth time this week...I’m a damn pervert...”

He sighed and got into the shower, trying to resist the urge to touch himself again. He didn’t want to surrender because, despite the pleasure, it couldn’t give him the full satisfaction he knew he was looking for, and it left him more empty and lonely than before.

He let the hot water beat on his tired shoulders and just stood there, waiting for his body to relax, but the drops and the warmth on his hard-on teased him. As always, his mind started playing tricks on him, showing him flashes of his past and of his recent fantasies, in which Sasuke hadn’t left. He saw his deep black eyes, the way his kimono shaped perfectly his toned shoulders, the muscles on his back under Naruto’s touch... His right hand seemed to move of its own will, slightly stroking the tip of his penis and finally grasping it wholly in is palm, moving faster and faster. He leaned against the wall, for he knew his legs would buckle and give away under him when he climaxed, which he did after just a few strokes. He moaned loudly, and as his mind slowly cleared, he realized he was feeling cold already, the absence of someone holding him after his orgasm heavy on him. This added to the fatigue of the day made him finish to wash himself in a couple of minutes, wanting only to go to bed and forget this way too long day.

He left the bathroom with just his boxers on, a towel on his shoulder, his hair dripping. He took some juice from the fridge and started drinking.

“Hello, Naruto!”

The boy spat half of the juice in surprise, then he looked around to see who was trying to give him a stroke.

“Kakashi-sensei!”

The man was smiling at him, sitting cross-legged on the windowsill.

“And how are you on this fine evening, Naruto?”

“Fi- Fine , thanks. You?”

“I’m fine. I’ve been waiting for you while you were showering. I hope you don’t mind me coming in. You were taking quite a while and it was freezing cold outside”, smiled the man.

“Oh, don’t worry…”

Naruto wondered if by chance Kakashi-sensei had heard any strange noises…

No, please…not that…

“Cup of tea, sensei?”

“Oh, that would be great, thank you.”

While Naruto prepared the tea, he wondered about the reason of his sensei’s visit. The man sat at the table and just looked at him with an amused expression on his masked face.

“Let’s see… we have both black and green tea. What would you prefer, sensei?”

“Green, please.”

“So…”

“How are things going, Naruto?”

“Err…good…why do you ask?”

“You’ve been pretty pensive these days, so I thought that maybe you needed a little chat with your sensei”, said cheerfully Kakashi.

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m fine! I’m just a bit tired, that’s all.”

“Naruto…My headband may cover one of my eyes, but I’m not blind. I know you’ve felt a bit under the weather lately and I want to help you. I’m your sensei, aren’t I? Helping you would make me very happy and satisfied.”, said the man nonchalantly.

“You don’t expect me to open up my heart just because you said that, do you?”

“Of course not.” Kakashi smiled warmly beneath his mask, eyes closed.

The silence lasted long until Naruto, impatient as always, burst out.

“You know, sensei…sometimes I feel lonely and depressed…”

“Really? Why?”

“I…”, Naruto looked down, fidgeting.

“Is it because of Sasuke?”

Naruto blushed, wondering if he really was that obvious…

“Well… yes… I just can’t stop thinking about him. Sometimes I feel like a useless idiot, because I couldn’t bring him back. I couldn’t save him, Kakashi-sensei… He went to Orochimaru, he went after his brother and even when he finally got his revenge, I couldn’t convince him to come back with me…”

“Naruto, it’s not your fault, you don’t have to feel guilty. Sasuke made his choice, you just have to keep on trusting him and be ready to help him whenever he will be ready to come back and ask for your help.”

“I know… but I’d rather travel all over the country, look for him everywhere, spend all my days searching for him. Yet, on the other hand, I know I belong here, I want to stay and protect Konoha. All the same a part of me isn’t satisfied with what I have here, because something is missing… something important isn’t there and I feel empty…”

“Naruto, when I was young, I had a similar experience.”

“Really, sensei?” Naruto was all the more bewildered because Kakashi-sensei almost never talked about his past .

“I lost a friend too and I felt so guilty about it, that I spent many days without eating, without going out, without training… everything had lost its meaning, nothing else mattered to me and, more than anything, I couldn’t accept the fact that it was my fault, that what I had done in order to save him hadn’t been enough.” He sighed and stopped for a couple of seconds.

“But when I met you, Naruto, I felt like I was given a second chance”, smiled the man.

“When you met…me?”

“Yes, you and my friend have many things in common: you both have a cheerful personality, he used to talk the same way as you do, he had your same ideals. When I got to know you, I felt like I was given the chance to make up for my mistakes and finally move on with my life.”

“Did you?”

“I’ve come to understand that you and him are not the same and I’ve started appreciating you the way you are: you are amusing, unpredictable, brave and generous, you have a huge heart and you’d do anything for the ones you love.”

Naruto’s face was as red as a tomato.

“Kakashi-sensei…”

“I like you the way you are, Naruto.”

“Thank you, Kakashi-sensei…”, smiled the boy, “your words are just what I needed”. Kakashi smiled back at him and looked at his cup of tea.

“Oh, I guess my tea is getting cold, I’d better hurry and drink it.”

“Wait, I have biscuits, too!”, Naruto ran into the kitchen and grabbed a box, but when he turned back, Kakashi had already drunk all of his tea.

Shit! Another good opportunity to see his face just wasted…I’m a jerk!

“Don’t worry about the biscuits, Naruto, I’m going home now. Thank you for the tea and for the chat”, smiled Kakashi.

“Thank you, sensei. Once in a while I loose my hope, but I can’t stop waiting for him and I’m sure I’ll bring him back one day!”

“That’s the Naruto I like!”

Kakashi got up and Naruto followed him to the door, opening it for him. Kakashi went out, tilted his head up and stared at the sky.

“Look, Naruto, a shooting star!”, he said all of a sudden. “You may wish you had your pants on, Naruto. I never thought you were so bold as to show your underwear to all of Konoha.”

Holy shit!

He had been so thrown off when Kakashi had arrived that had totally forgotten to put something on.

He blushed to the tip of his ears, but before rushing back in without even saying goodnight, he remembered to make his wish.





TBC

Please, let us know if you enjoyed our fanfic! Review, pretty please!!!!!