Save your Soul

Chapter 2 - Fading with the Sun


Several Hours had passed since Hidan was pulled from the darkness. He now lay resting, his body propped up against the tree, Kakuzu’s limp body resting against his chest. This was the first time Hidan had been the protector. He’d always been the protected one, the one Kakuzu was always shielding. Though it wasn’t for his lack of strength, and Hidan knew that well. There was something more. Something Hidan avoided thinking about. Something he wanted to keep out of conversation forever if possible. Love was a strong word and Hidan didn’t like the idea of using it to describe them. They were assassins and mercenaries, not start crossed lovers. There was no time to think of a relationship when the whole population of the world wanted you dead. Besides, Kakuzu was a man, and men like him usually didn’t fancy other men.

At any point.

Hidan could just imagine the expression on Kakuzu’s face at the mere mention of them being lovers. He’d probably find a way to kill Hidan for even speaking those thoughts out loud. This care, this affection he’d been showing when digging Hidan up. Hidan wanted to believe it was love, but knew better. Kakuzu respected him, and he was pretty sure it was only because Hidan as useful to him at times. That brought him back full circle to being protected. Kakuzu confused him like no other but he didn’t resent him for it. Kakuzu would always be one big mystery and he knew there wasn’t much sense in trying to figure the man out.

Hidan watched the steady rise and fall of Kakuzu’s chest through the rain that still poured steadily. At this point he didn’t care that he was soaked. It felt good to be in one piece again after being trapped in that god-forsaken chasm. A stray strand of rain-soaked hair fell into his eyes, causing him to swat at it half-heartedly. Noticing Kakuzu had the same problem, he tucked the long dark strands behind one ear. He trailed his hand from Kakuzu’s ear, along his stitches and down to his jaw line. He frowned. Kakuzu looked so worn out and exhausted, all of his energy spent. This exertion made him look so much older and more haggard than usual. Hidan, sure that this would be the only time he would ever get to be this close, tucked Kakuzu into his chest a little more, using the cloak to cover him before resuming his vigil over the exhausted Shinobi. Now he understood why Kisame seemed to content to keep watch over Itachi on so many occasions. It felt good to be the one protecting somebody. Sure Kakuzu spent most of his waking hours being a heartless bastard, but there was the rare occasion where the man was vulnerable and sensitive. Now was one of those times. The very sight of such a proud ninja, lying so helpless made Hidan’s heart ache. The man was a pillar of strength to all of the Akatsuki and Pein relied on him heavily for his wisdom as it was certain he had well over a hundred and fifty years of life experience. Kakuzu never changed and never aged. Like the rising and setting of the sun, he was constant, unwavering and unfailing. Upon first meeting Kakuzu, Hidan used to wonder if anything affected the man at all, if he cared for anyone at any point in his long life. Though now he was fairly certain he did. Kakuzu had come back for him and worked through such exhaustion and excruciating pain to pull him from that rubble and piece him together. There had to be something more. Even friendship was enough for Hidan. Just being at Kakuzu’s side was perfection.

“I don’t know why.” He muttered. “I’ve always been more trouble than I’m worth. You always told me I was infuriating. You must see something I don’t.”

“Idiot.”

Hidan started, blinking in surprise and shock. “ Kakuzu..?”

“You are infuriating.” He didn’t smile but there was the tiny twitch at the corners of his lips that could be taken as a smile. “ But you are useful.” His irises were dull, still showing signs of his exhaustion. “You have some good qualities.”

Hidan felt the sting of tears at the corners of his eyes again and his voice trembled with the effort of holding them back. “Kakuzu…I,” He paused, unable to form simple words, let alone react to being told he was cared for.

“You don’t…need to speak Hidan.”

Silence followed for a long while after, as they both sat together, Kakuzu staring off, only half conscious and Hidan still trying to contain his tears. He was cared for. Someone wanted him to be safe. No. Kakuzu wanted him to be safe.

“Kakuzu, You’re so weak. Why didn’t you replace your damaged hearts before coming here? I could have waited.” He still couldn’t understand why the man, known for his incredible intelligence would do something so foolish.

Kakuzu remained silent his mind racing through the scenario and that voice when Hidan called out to him in his mind.

You were my priority. I heard your voice in the darkness, so scared and so weak. The idea of leaving you there while I tended to myself was unthinkable. I realized then that you are much more vulnerable than you pretend to be Hidan. I couldn’t leave you there, even if you are immortal. Something about you draws me in and with every moment it gets stronger. Even now, as you try to push me away while still protecting me, I am drawn in. I like to think it’s just my current state of exhaution but no. It’s something about you…

He knew he could never actually say that out loud so hewas silent a few moments before saying simply. “You were my priority.”

Hidan could feel his breath catch in his throat. Was that Kakuzu’s way of saying he cared? Those few words hit him with all the force of a slap to the face. It as only after a moment of stunned silence he spoke again.

“Kakuzu, you’re almost dead. We have to find you a replacement fast.”

Kakuzu merely nodded, his head lolling to the side as he slipped back into unconsciousness. Hidan looked down with a sigh. They couldn’t stay here. They had to find shelter. The rain was now growing cold and the dampness would do nothing to help Kakuzu’s already weakened condition. There had to be an outcropping or a larger tree somewhere that they could use just until the rain stopped. The gashes in his flesh where his limbs were healing, seemed to have stopped bleeding and they were working, stitches keeping them together. Though he felt weak and tired, safety was the biggest concern right now.

Rising to his feet, Hidan slipped one arm under Kakuzu’s neck and one arm under his knees, hoisting the man up into his arms. He was heavy, but Hidan didn’t care. He took a few shaky steps, regaining his footing on a body that hadn’t been used in nearly two weeks. It took him about twenty minutes to get his body moving properly before he could make any real progress towards finding shelter. Glancing down at Kakuzu, he could see the pained expression on his face. The man was suffering from deep wounds from his previous battles and aggravated further by his rush to rescue him. He really was close to death and that scared Hidan more than anything. Tucking Kakuzu closer, he picked up his pace. There had to be something somewhere, after all how difficult was finding shelter in a forest of this size?

Stopping to catch his breath, Hidan decided to switch positioning, finding it easier to carry Kakuzu on his back. Deciding that it would be easier just to head for Rain Country rather than run around in the search for shelter, he changed directions, heading northeast. They couldn’t be too far from the border. Or so he hoped. The more he walked though, the longer the trip seemed. He felt like for every step he took he was walking backwards. There was no sign of shelter, no sign they were moving any further towards the Rain border. Hidan would have settled for anything with an outcropping to escape the rain even for a moment. The earlier rain was refreshing, now it was just plain annoying. He felt Kakuzu shudder against his back, the drop in temperature starting to affect him.

“Fucking storm!” Hidan cursed. “Why does it have to rain so much?”

He could feel Kakuzu’s weight starting to pull against him, causing his wounds to burn. Stopping for a moment, he shifted Kakuzu’s weight again, and proceeded forward. By now the first light of morning was appearing on the horizon but the rain still hadn’t subsided. He wasn’t optimistic about the rain stopping at all before nightfall, but by that time they’d be safely inside the borders of Rain Country and be on their way to the hideout.

“Just a little longer Kakuzu…”

For all their arguing and swearing there was obviously more to it. Why else would they both put life and limb at risk to save each other? Denying it wasn’t making anything easier, in fact it was making things a hell of a lot harder and awkward than it had to be. The more he tried to deny he felt anything for Kakuzu, the more he knew he cared. It infuriated him more than anything, not because of the man or the attraction he had to him. It was how it affected him and how hard it was to say anything without it all coming out totally wrong. Sometimes he wondered if Jashin-Sama himself was punishing him for something.

“Bad time to lose focus.”

Hidan stepped to the left as a Kunai whizzed by his ear, landing in a nearby tree with a heavy thudding noise. He turned to face his attackers and was greeted by a squad of 8 ninja all rogue, all looking for an easy kill. He wanted to tell them that he would be no easy kill, but now was not the time to be challenging them. Kakuzu needed rest and shelter and He wasn’t full healed himself.

“We have no quarrel with you. Hidan hissed, keeping Kakuzu securely on his back. “we’re not up for a fight.”

Inside, Hidan was itching to rip them apart with his bare hands. But Kakuzu was now his priority. He hoped they would leave, but he was fairly certain only death would convince them to leave.

Faster than the time it took to blink, they had surrounded him, each taking swipes at him. They were certainly high-level if nothing else. He had no choice, but to place Kakuzu down, grabbing a kunai. He stood fast, determined to rip apart anyone who dared approach the injured man. He wasn’t about to let anyone separate them again. Not after coming this far.

“You really don’t want to piss me off.” Hidan’s voice was a menacing growl deep in his chest. “ I am not in the mood to be trifled with.” And he punctuated his statement by dispatching two of the ninja with lightning speed, despite his injuries. In fact, if he wasn’t so sore, and protecting Kakuzu, he would have taken them all out in the time it took to take out those two. As the next two charged at him Hidan stepped forward, swinging high and catching one in the throat, watching the man crumple as blood sprayed from the wide open wound at his throat. The second one put up more of a fight and had almost reached Kakuzu before Hidan grabbed the man by the face, slamming him in the tree headfirst, snapping his neck and crushing his skull. His blood was running hot and the need to protect seemed to spur him on. He jumped forward again, this time a sharp pain traveling up from his stomach to chest robbed him of his air and forced him to the ground in a crouch. One of his wounds had opened again. Quite possibly the one on his stomach, above his navel. He was bleeding but that didn’t affect him. It was the sharp pain that caught him off guard.

The unfolding sight in the next ten seconds was slow motion it seemed. As Hidan crouched, the pain in his chest sending shocks up his spine, his worst fears were realized. There was another one. The ninja appeared from the shadows. And for a second, just a second, Hidan’s body wouldn’t move.

One second too long.

The attacking ninja used that short window, to turn and let fly with a rain of senbon needles. Hidan tried to spur his body into action but it was too late. He had leapt toward Kakuzu, becoming a human shield for the man but one. Just one had gotten by and buried itself in the left side of kakuzu’s chest. Peony-hued eyes widened in silent horror as he realized where that stray senbon had hit. Kakuzu’s tendril has slipped out through his chest to try and pull at the offending weapon, but the damage was done, the extensions too weak to do anything, including help the now doomed heart.


Inside him, in his mind, perhaps in his soul even, something snapped. Something deep inside of him let go, rage flowing forward and filling him with strength and the need to rip them all apart. Anger flooded through his veins like molten metal and ignoring all of the needles in his own back he lunged, an unholy, inhuman cry almost akin to the shriek of a banshee ripping from his throat. The shinobi who threw the senbon didn’t even have time to react, and the shocked expression remained on his face as Hidan, with his bare hands ripped his head clean off his shoulders. Turning to face the remainder, he saw the once battle ready expressions were now masks of fear. They were terrified of him, and that was what he wanted. He wanted them to die with that fear rooted in their very soul. In the time it took for their expressions to change Hidan had already killed them, not even giving them a moment to react. It was when the last one fell Hidan’s rage subsided and he realized he had made a very very grave mistake.

In killing them all he had denied Kakuzu a chance to use one of their hearts. And it was going to be what killed him in the end. And a choking noise brought his attention back to the man.

“Kakuzu!” Hidan rushed to his side, instinctively putting a hand up to the wound as if his hands could heal the damage. “Kakuzu…Kakuzu…I failed. I wasn’t able to save you…”

Kakuzu reached up weakly his hand resting against Hidan’s, his skin already graying, his heart beginning to enter the final stages of seizing. “No Hidan. You tried to protect me.”

Hidan shook his head violently, tears openly streaming down his face. “Kakuzu! I killed them, instead of giving their hearts to you. I killed you…”

Kakuzu shook his head, a weak smile on bluish lips. “No. You did what you could Hidan. You need to tell Leader Sama, what’s happened here.”

The real horror for Hidan was seeing the blood as it began to trickle down the corners of Kakuzu’s mouth, leaving a crimson trail along his chin and down his chest. “There has to be something…something I can do…” Hidan lost his composure completely, his voice almost a soft wailing. “Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me alone…”

He could hear the rasping of Kakuzu’s beathing as he fought to speak. “You need…to get away…far away from here…” and as if to emphasize the point his body began to twitch, death throes beginning to take control of his body, the tendons out side of his body moving weakly, un able to pull themselves back in.

“Kakuzu!” Hidan wailed, all sense of sanity gone. The only person he really cared about was dying, and he was to blame. He could feel the sadness washing over him much like the anger did and he raised his head to the sky sending up a prayer he knew would be answered. “Jashin-Sama lend me strength…” The shock wearing of made him physically sick and the first waves of his grief almost drowned him in the intensity. He cried out, wrapping his arms around around the limp body, smoothing back the wet hair and pressing his lips Kakuzu’s forehead. “Don’t leave me…”

“…Thank you…”

The feel of Kakuzu’s slowing heartbeat made Hidans heart beat even faster and soon it was thundering in his ears. And it was maddening. Here Kakuzu lay dying and Hidan’s heart was in over drive, his pulse racing as if to mock him.

My pulse…

My heart…