Despair; Sub Rosa

Author's note:
It's strange to have such short chapters xD
Such a relief in comparison to YotF!
Though, it seems that the term 'character death' has scared most people away from this fic. So please review if you actually read it Xp

Enjoy!

*****

2. A Challenging Acquaintance

Sasuke leaned back against the railing, staring up at the clouds. The air was crisp, and just as the day before, the weather was excellent.
He looked at his pocket watch and sighed with dismay. He should’ve known that idiot would be late.
“What are you doing?”
He whirred around, to look at his brother.
“What do you want?” he ground out.
“I asked you a question.”
“And I asked you one as well,” Sasuke snapped back, “What? They sent you to watch over me? I’m too old to need a babysitter, and you were never much of one anyway.”
Itachi sighed.
“I don’t want to be here anymore than you want me to, trust me. So let’s make this simple; you drop the act and tell me what you’re doing and I leave you alone.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you have some waitress or maid to consult,” Sasuke replied sourly.
“Sasuke,” his brother’s voice was stern.
“Ok, I’m waiting for someone. Happy?”
“Who?”
“For the love of...” Sasuke snarled, “Is that important?”
“I’d think so,” Itachi looked him straight in the eye, “Or have you forgotten why we are on this ship in the first place?”
Sasuke sighed. “No.”
“Well?”
“Naruto. You know, the Uzumaki heir.”
Itachi furrowed his brow. “Naruto? I didn’t think you two got along? It certainly didn’t seem that way yesterday.”
Sasuke shrugged again, “We’re not really. But it’s not like there’s a lot of things to do here. I’m just making the best of the situation. He’s... interesting.”
“Not too interesting I hope?” Itachi crossed his arms over his chest.
“Itachi...Don’t go there.” Sasuke’s voice dropped a notch, his gaze darkening.
His brother narrowed his eyes, leaning forward, placing one hand on the railing as he did.
“Oh I have to,” he said quietly, bringing his lips close to Sasuke’s ear, whispering icily; “Because we both know what happened in London, don’t we?”
Sasuke fisted his hand at his side.
“And a repetition would be unfortunate. Keep that in mind.”
Sasuke grit his teeth, pushing his brother away, staring defiantly at him.
“Fuck off Itachi.”
Itachi smirked faintly, turning away.
“I just wanted to remind you, little brother,” their eyes met, “Say hi to Naruto for me.”
Sasuke did his best to glare holes in his brother's back.
At that exact moment, Naruto appeared at his side.
"Good morning!" he beamed, flashing that idiotic grin in Sasuke's face.
The Uchiha tried to appear unaffected, but again found that Naruto was a person it was hard to stay serious around.

They'd spent most of the previous day together, just walking around. Naruto'd done most of the talking; his mouth producing an endless flow of words that was completely unstoppable and impossible to follow. But still he'd found himself listening to him, not minding having him hanging around for hours at a time. Not that he'd exactly asked Naruto to follow him around, but it had happened anyway.
And somehow, the blonde had decided that they'd meet up after breakfast the next morning to go check out the squash court. Personally, Sasuke hated squash, but not more than he hated the confining feeling of his cabin and his family.

"Ready to go?" Naruto tugged on his sleeve.
Sasuke jerked his hand away, instinctively. Then he nodded, letting the Uzumaki drag him along the deck, towards the squash court.

Not unexpectedly, the court was full, with first class passengers standing around everywhere, waiting and watching. After over an hour of waiting in the crowded area outside, Sasuke decided he'd had enough.
"Let's go," he announced, standing from the bench he'd been sitting on.
"Now?" Naruto looked up at him.
"Yeah, now."
"But...The line is much shorter now!" Naruto gesticulated.
Sasuke looked around. Calling it a 'line' was to overdo it, it was just a mass of people, dresses and hats. Half of these people didn't even look like they would enjoy playing squash, much less knew what it was. It was ridiculous.
"Do you really like squash?" Sasuke asked, a playful tone in his voice that almost disturbed himself.
"Not really..."
"In any case, I'm leaving." Sasuke begun walking.
"Wait up!" Naruto sprung to his feet, chasing after him.
****

"So what's she like?"
"Who?" Sasuke leaned back in his chair. It was after dinner, and they were pretty much the only people left in the dining room.
"Who?" Naruto nudged Sasuke in the ribs, "Aren't you getting married?!"
"Oh, her...." Sasuke sighed.
"What? You don't like her?"
Sasuke snorted, "I've never met her."
"Really?" Naruto said a little too quickly. He coughed, "But you know what she looks like, right? Wouldn't want to buy the cat in the bag, you know!"
He tried to laugh, but it sounded fake. And he knew all too well why.
"I know what she looks like." Sasuke said quietly.
"You have a picture?" Naruto scooted closer, curiously tapping Sasuke's shoulder.

Sasuke winced slightly.
It wasn't right; the two of them acting so familiar, like they'd known each other for several years, and not only about two days.
"Yeah," he said, still quietly, "Here."
He took an envelope out of his pocket, and reached it to Naruto.
"Well she must be something, if you're carrying around a photograph of her," Naruto grinned cheekily.
"I'm carrying it around because I got it right before we boarded," Sasuke replied dryly, "My mother won't let me put it away in case it'll be lost."
"Whatever you say;" Naruto smirked, taking the photograph out of the envelope.
The picture showed a girl smiling sweetly, her hair tied in a bun on top of her head with a butterfly-shaped hairpin. She held a fan in her right hand.
Naruto turned the picture around, reading the text on the backside; "Sakura, January 22nd, 1912."
Sasuke said nothing.
"She looks nice," Naruto said, "And she's really pretty."
"I guess" Sasuke echoed.
"You don't seem to happy about it," the blonde probed.
Abruptly, Sasuke stood.
"Leave me alone, " he grumbled, striding out of the dining room. The few others in there stared after him, muttering amongst themselves.

Naruto was left wondering what that was all about.
He didn't really know Sasuke at all, but he had discovered that he enjoyed spending time with him, despite his mood swings. He thought he sensed a friendship somewhere out there, or at least they could form one if they kept in touch later.
"And if that jerk stops running away..." Naruto mumbled to himself.

Looking all over for Sasuke later that night, he wondered why he was so persistent to get to know this guy, but only briefly. He'd never been one for reason. Impulse had always been his element.
Still, the Uchiha was nowhere to be found. Like he'd been swallowed by the ship itself.
Naruto figured that he'd probably retreated to his cabin. He had no idea which number Sasuke's cabin had, and having gained enough attention by the other passengers already, Naruto decided against running down the corridor, knocking on every door until he hit the right one.

Luck seemed to smile at him though, as he ran into Itachi by the stairs.
"Wait! Itachi!" he called out, chasing after the Uchiha towards the chapel.
Funny thing; it seemed like all he did lately was to chase after members of the Uchiha family.
"Naruto?"
"Have you..." the blonde coughed, trying to catch his breath, "seen Sasuke?"
"Why?"
"He disappeared," Naruto wheezed, "I've been looking all over, and then I thought that he might be in his cabin, but I don't know what number it is. Could you help me out?"
The look Itachi sent him was so icy it sent chills down Naruto's spine.
"Sasuke's cabin?"
"Yeah."
"You shouldn't go there."
"Excuse me?"
That's all Itachi said. The man walked off without saying another word, leaving Naruto gaping after him.
"Are all Uchihas jerks?" he asked into thin air.
And why did he even care?
*****

That was just what he was thinking the next day when he was standing around in the corridor.
Everyone was on their way to the chapel for the sermon, and he was virtually alone. He'd told his mother he'd forgotten something in the cabin, and then he'd gone back. From where he was standing it was impossible to miss Sasuke when he walked past, but now he was starting to think that the raven was skipping out on sermon.
He'd just about given up and headed back inside himself when he spotted the Uchihas coming down the hall. He waited until they passed the corner, and then grabbed a hold of Sasuke's jacket, holding him back, pulling him around the corner.

"Naruto?!" Sasuke hissed, "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
"What am I doing?! You ran off last night, so I thought I'd ask you what it was all about!" Naruto hissed back , still not letting go of Sasuke's jacket.
"Would you just leave me alone?" Sasuke ground out through gritted teeth.
"Did I do something to you?" the blonde demanded, "Are you upset I called your fiancé pretty? Because I wasn't meaning it like..."
"No," Sasuke said, finally looking back at him, "That's not it."
"Then what?"
"It's none of your business."
"I know what it is," Naruto said, letting his hand slide down from Sasuke's elbow, gripping his wrist instead. Sasuke stared at him, but made no effort to pull away.
"You're opening up," Naruto continued, "And that bothers you. You don't like that you can talk to me so easily, is that it?"
"Tch," Sasuke tore his hand from Naruto's grip, "Ridiculous."
"Is it?" Naruto countered, "The second you told me something about yourself; something that wasn't shallow, or safe, you ran away."
"I don't want to have this conversation," Sasuke snarled at him, "And I don't have to."
"I think you do," Naruto said, softer now, "I can read people, remember? And you seriously need someone to talk to."
"Someone like you?" Sasuke arched an eyebrow, as if he didn't quite believe in that possibility.
Naruto looked around, at the elegance around them, and felt suddenly out of place. He didn't belong here any more than Sasuke did; Sasuke was too good for this place he thought. He sensed something in the other; that he was just as trapped as himself. And at the same time, Sasuke seemed the exact way Naruto himself should've been.
Sasuke didn't fit in here well because Sasuke was far more elegant and sophisticated than this entire ship and all the people on it, and that scared Naruto in a way.
Because he didn't know what it meant.
Because he feared what it meant.
And because it was so unfair; that everything was laid out for them both this way, when neither of them wanted it.
"Yes," he said softly, reaching for Sasuke's sleeve again, "Someone like me."
There was reluctance written all over the Uchiha's face, but he nodded faintly.
"Alright," he said, "We'll go to the library. Talk all you want, but don't expect anything."
"Believe me," Naruto flashed him a brief grin, "From the moment I saw you I didn't expect anything."

The library was dead silent. There was no one around, not even the librarian. It seemed every soul on the Titanic was God-fearing. It almost made Naruto feel guilty, but just almost.
They sat in silence, Sasuke flipping through the pages of a newspaper someone had left on the table.
The silence was oppressive. It made the blonde feel like he had to fill it somehow, like he had to talk. Silence made him nervous.
"How do you like the ship?" he blurted out.
Sasuke barely looked at him.
"I mean, it's grand and all...but I don't really think it's that impressive," he rambled on, "I've read that the interior is pretty much identical to the Olympic, and the sheets and plates and everything is just regular White Star Line stuff. You know?"
"You're crazy," Sasuke mumbled, "You seriously don't think this is impressive?"
"What, you do?"
"Come on, a squash court, Turkish baths, and generators that provide the entire ship with electric lights? It's revolutionary."
"So you are impressed!" Naruto pointed his finger accusingly at the raven.
"Not really," Sasuke smirked, "I don't see what all the fuzz is about."
Naruto sighed deeply, tilting himself back in his chair.
"I don't think..." he started, "That the ship itself is the reason..."
He stopped, trying to form the words differently, "I mean...It's not that it's not impressive or anything, it's just that I feel so trapped!"
"Trapped?"
"I don't care much for ships in general but..."
"What? You get seasick?" Sasuke teased.
"That's not it idiot," Naruto scowled at him, "But there's nowhere to escape to, you know?"
Sasuke furrowed his brow.
"What do you need to escape from?"
"Heh," Naruto scratched his neck, "Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Not really," Sasuke shrugged, "But I feel I'm entitled to know what someone as perky as you needs to escape from, since you've pretty much set your mind to finding out why I want to get away."
"So you do want to get away!"
Sasuke frowned. It seemed he'd fallen straight into the blonde's trap.
"I didn't say that," he crossed his arms over his chest, "Now tell me, what could seriously be so terrible it's making you want to throw yourself into the ocean?"
"I didn't say that," Naruto copied him.
He sobered.
"I'm getting married," he said looking away.
"And that's horrible because?"
"It's more like I'm being married off," Naruto smiled bitterly, "For a price of course."
"Because of the bankruptcy?"
"Keep your voice down!" Naruto hissed.
"There's no one here," Sasuke retorted, shifting in his chair.
"Still, let's not talk about it," Naruto sighed.
"What's she like?" Sasuke asked him, still smirking as he asked Naruto the same question he'd been asked by him.
Naruto shrugged.
"Haven't met her," he admitted, "But you've heard of the Hyuugas, right?"
"You're marrying the Hyuuga heiress?" Sasuke leaned over the table.
"So they say," Naruto shrugged, "You know her?"
"By name, not personally. They say she's beautiful, but shy."
"Heh," Naruto bit his lip, "My parents wouldn't know, they're in it for the money."
"They've certainly picked the right family to marry into then," Sasuke fiddled with the newspaper on the table, trying to suppress the icy feeling that was spreading in his body, "My dad did business with them a couple of years back, when her father was in England, it was successful to say the least."
"Great," Naruto sighed, "So there'll be two families breathing down my neck as I take over the business."
Sasuke's lip quirked.
"Do you want to marry?" Naruto looked him straight in the eye.
"What kind of question is that?"
"A valid one," Naruto replied, "We're the same, aren't we?"
Sasuke didn't grace him with an answer.
"I'm young. I want to be careless. A family, a business, wife and kids....I'm not ready for that. No way." Naruto shook his head.
"I thought we were here to talk about me?" the Uchiha seemed amused.
That alone cheered Naruto up a little.
If Sasuke could smile then there was hope in the world.
"You know the feeling, right? The desperation you feel when your whole life is planned and all you can do is try to keep up with it?"
"Aren't you deep..." Sasuke mumbled, before nodding. It was a short, solemn nod.
"Yeah," he said staring down into the table, "I know what it feels like."
Naruto smiled. He looked relieved.
"I thought so," he said, placing his hands on the table, beginning to fondle with the newspaper as well, "And yet..."
Their fingertips briefly touched. Sasuke quickly retracted his hands, dragging them through dark tresses instead.
"Yet?" he asked, noticing how dry his mouth was.
"Yet... I thought that you might be marrying out of your own free will. You're not in any financial trouble. The whole world would've known if that was the case."
Sasuke looked away, the ice in his veins moving further up inside his body. Maybe if it reached his brain he'd be able to forget. But it wasn't likely. He knew where he was going and for what. He knew what he'd done, and he knew that no one else could know.

Naruto was dangerous.
He had the ability to make him talk.
The ability to make him open up and share things. It scared him.
No one had been able to read his mind this well before, and that was bad.
And the worst part, what scared him more than he wanted to admit was that he was starting to relive something that he really shouldn't. He knew it. He knew the feeling, and he tried to suppress it. But he also knew that it was impossible.

"Do you ever wonder what it feels like to die?" Sasuke asked.
The question startled Naruto.
"What?"
"...to just put a gun to your head and pull the trigger?"
Naruto said nothing. Deep blue eyes stared at Sasuke, wide as saucers.
"You think it would hurt?" Sasuke dragged his finger along his temple, "You think it would all be over quickly?"
"Sasuke...what are you..." Naruto stuttered.
"You think it would be a better solution than to remain trapped? Suffering for years until you're finally free?"
His voice was low. There was a tone to it that was new to Naruto. No one he'd ever met had ever talked like this. As much as it worried him, it fascinated him.
"I guess what I'm getting at here..." Sasuke finally found back to his usual cool tone, "is that no, I'm not marrying out of free will."
"Then why?" Naruto asked without putting any thought into the question.
"Because," Sasuke said, pressing his finger against his temple one final time before letting his arm fall to his side, "I deserve it."
Naruto's first thought was to ask what it meant. But there was something in Sasuke's eyes that made him change his mind.
"Do you want to die?" he asked instead.
"Do you?" Sasuke shot back.
"No," Naruto's eyes met with Sasuke's, "But I don't want to live a life I didn't chose."
"Good choice," Sasuke nodded, chewing on his nail.

"What would you rather do then?" Naruto asked, more to say something than anything else.
"Rather than dying?" Sasuke asked, looking quizzically at him.
"Rather than getting married," Naruto said, his lip quirking slightly.
Sasuke said nothing, he was back to fondling with the newspaper on the table before them.
Naruto sighed, and not expecting an answer from the Uchiha, he answered his own question;
"Traveling? Seeing the world?"
Sasuke looked back at him.
"I've traveled." he said, "And frankly, the world's nothing to look at."
"Negative, are we?" Naruto said, grinning cheekily.
"Not at all," Sasuke replied, "I'm completely sincere."
His expression softened.
"What about you?" he said, "What'd you do? Would you travel?"
"Probably," Naruto replied, nodding, "I'd like to be free to you know...be me and grow up a little before-"
"Something tells me that would never happen," Sasuke interrupted, smirking.
"Tch," Naruto snorted, "But you know... I don't feel like being tied down just yet. I want to see things, experience things....I want to see the East!"
"Pardon?"
"You know; China, Japan! I want to see other parts of the world. Then maybe later..." he nervously fingered with the newspaper; folding the corner of a page for the third time, "But not now..."
Sasuke leaned back in his seat, sighing heavily.
"It really is a prison ship, isn't it?"
Naruto didn't reply, just stared into the air.

"There should've been more ports," Sasuke said suddenly, "Before New York. We could've escaped."
"What?" Naruto croaked.
"You know, gotten off the ship. Saved our asses," there was a rare gleam in the Uchiha's dark eyes, but he was dead serious it seemed.
"You'd do that?" Naruto almost hissed.
"Would you?" Sasuke challenged, raising an eyebrow.
His voice had dropped slightly, his fingertips reaching out to brush over Naruto's again, casually, but not accidentally.
A tension rose between them, dominating the space around them.
Naruto stared at the raven, peeking down at their fingers, before meeting the gaze of the Uchiha.
He didn't answer the question. But he realized that he probably would.
It seemed to make sense, coming from the Uchiha's mouth.
He swallowed, looked away.
It scared him. But he didn't know quite why.
Maybe because Sasuke was radiating something that made him want to abandon all common sense, but then again, he'd always been willing to do that.

They remained sitting in the library for a few more minutes without really talking.
Naruto was thinking about the question, wondering if he'd been able to get off at the wrong part and leave his family.
He probably wouldn't, he figured, even if they were forcing him to marry.

The door to the chapel opened, people started to well out of there, heading back to their respective cabins, so they could change their clothes and meet again in the lounge or dining room and feel good about themselves now that they had been good Christians and sat through the sermon; more to be seen than anything else.

"Let's go," Sasuke said.
"Where?"
"It doesn't matter, I just want to get out of here before my parents see us."
Naruto nodded, following him out of the library. He didn't want to hear his mother preach about how he'd skipped church either.
But Sasuke seemed different; the way he almost seemed desperate to avoid his family, or even talking about them. Something just wasn't right about it, but Naruto didn't allow his mind to linger on it. It was none of his business anyhow.

But....he was curious.
He had to admit that he was curious.

******
TBC
***


Reply to ChaliceofBlood:
Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you like it so far and that you find it intriguing! That was my goal! (and no one would read that ridiculously long AN.)
Here's an update! Hope you liked it! :3