The Art of Comedy Combat

Clowning Around

Written By: PrinceofPervs

Summary: What if Naruto revealed a fighting style not seen since his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, perished? After all, he's called the Number one COMEDY Ninja for a reason... Naruto/Harem. Because women love funny men.

I'm pleased with the reviews I got. I've got big plans for this story, and I hope you enjoy them. Just to warn you, anyone that Naruto faces will be torn down, belittled, and humiliated. But it's all in good fun, not because I hate any of them. Plus, it's a part of Naruto's fighting style. Anyway, enjoy this next chapter!


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Everyone watching the match blinked at Naruto's words.

"Comedy...combat?" Ino said, not believing the words that just came out of Naruto's mouth. "What the hell kind of fighting styles' THAT?!"

"Yeah, it doesn't seem like it could be all that effective. I mean, how can pies and color bombs hurt anyone?" Shikamaru said.

"Trust me Ino-pig and friend, you haven't seen even anywhere NEAR the full power of Comedy Combat!" Sakura said, overhearing them.

"Please. How can someone win a fight with attacks like THAT? They don't do any damage!" Ino scoffed.

"They aren't supposed to. Or at least, THOSE attacks aren't supposed to," Sakura said with a smirk.

"What are you talking about, forehead?" Ino said.

"Just watch and learn, piggy," Sakura said, turning back towards the match.

Kiba was still dumbfounded at Naruto's words. But soon, he began to growl again. "You CAN'T be serious! That fighting stlye won't help you do ANYTHING! 'Cept piss me off more!"

"If you really think that, Kiba-kun, then laugh. I DARE you," Naruto said, wiggling his eyebrows with a sly look on his face.

Kiba was half-way tempted to do it, just to spite the blond. But then, he noticed that something was missing.

"Hey...Where's Akamaru?!" Kiba shouted.

"Oh, the mutt? I decided that he was too dirty-looking for this match, so I had my clones and Naruko give him a little bath while we've been talking..." Naruto said, pointing to the left.

"WHAT?!" Kiba shouted, whirling towards that direction.

Indeed, Akamaru (who was bound, gagged, and sitting in a wash barrel) was receiving a free bath, courtesy of Naruto's clones and Naruko (Naruto's female self). Naruko was dumping water on him, Clone one was scrubbing him clean with a sponge, and Clone Two was filing his nails.

"Oh, darling, these nails are to DIE for!" Clone Two said in a flamboyant tone. "Just wait until the ladies see you! Hot doggy coming through!"

"And this fur! So soft and well-kempt! The laides love a puppy who knows his hygiene!" Clone One said with the same tone.

"Mmmm Mmmm MMMM! If you weren't another species, I would just eat you up!" Naruko purred.

Akamaru didn't know weather to be flattered...or afraid. He whimpered as good as he could through the gag.

As Kiba stared in horror, Sakura burst out laughing. "Ha Ha Ha! Typical Naruto! Giving the ememy a BATH in the middle of combat!"

Kakashi nodded in agreement, trying hard not to laugh himself. "That's what the Comedy Combat style is all about. Being so RANDOM that your opponent won't be able to predict what you'll do next. The next...'attack' could be something that hurts you, or degrates you. And for someone like Naruto, it's perfect."

"How the HELL did you capture Akamaru without me knowing?!" Kiba roared as he glared at Naruto.

"There was a reason why I used that much smoke when my clone exploded, Kiba," Naruto replied. "Anyway, I think Akamaru's treatment is done!"

Kiba turned back towards Akamaru, and gasped in horror.

Akamaru had...bows in his head, rosy cheeks, and..and...EYELINER!

Kiba saw red. BLOOD RED. He began to shake in anger...

Kurenai saw this, and began to REALLY feel sorry for Naruto.

"I think that playtime is over, Kakashi," Kurenai said. "Naruto's pushed Kiba to the limit..."

But Kakashi mearly chuckled a bit. "Good. Because that's what Naruto WANTED to do..."

"That's it, Naruto! You. Are. DEAD!" Kiba snarled. "Akamaru, let's take him down!"

Akamaru, who wanted revenge as well, growled in agreement. Kiba took out a strange pill from his pouch, and fed it to Akamaru. Within seconds, the dog grew slightly larger, and turned completly red. And his growling was much louder.

"This is the beginning of the end, Naruto!" Kiba shouted as he leaned down to all fours. Akamaru jumped onto his back, glaring at Naruto.

Naruto wasn't phased. "Hey, Akamaru. The glaring thing? With that EYELINER? NOT working."

This just served to make Akamaru even angrier, and he nearly rushed towards Naruto himself. But he stopped at the last second and waited for Kiba to complete his jutsu. Kiba sensed this.

"Good boy, Akamaru," Kiba said, eating a pill himself. "We'll get revenge on him in a second... Beast Mimicry! Juujin Bunshin! (Beast Human Clone)

As Kiba said those words, Akamaru vanished into a puff of smoke, only to appear as an exact clone of Kiba! The two Kibas growled while glaring at Naruto, ready to beat him to a pulp.

But all of a sudden, Naruto burst out laughing, nearly falling to the ground.

Not to mention that snickers could be heard coming from the entire room.

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY?!" Kiba roared.

Naruto didn't say anything. He just held up a hand mirrior that he pulled out of nowhere, and showed it to Kiba.

Kiba saw the reflection in the mirrior, and realized something.

Just because Akamaru had transformed into a clone of himself, didn't mean that the makeup and other things Naruto put on him went away...

In other words, an extremely GIRLY looking form of Kiba was standing on top of the original.

Everyone burst out laughing at the sight, including Hinata. Heck, even Kiba, though he was loathe to admit it, was close to busting a gut at his poor dog's expense. But he just settled for blushing angrily.

"You won't be laughing for much longer, ya dobe!" Kiba snarled. Both he and Akamaru charged towards Naruto, Kiba throwing a smoke bomb to hide his presence.

...Only for Naruto to blow the smoke away with a portable fan, and dodge them easily.

"Where the HELL do you keep pulling all of this stuff from?!" Kiba shouted as he and Akamaru continued to attack.

"My ass!" Naruto replied cheekily, dodging every attack. "What's the matter, Dog-Boy? Too fast for ya?"

"I'll show you!" Kiba growled. "Let's do it, Akamaru!"

Akamaru barked in agreement. All of a sudden, the two twirled around, and became a hurricane full of teeth and claws, aiming straight for Naruto!

"You're DEAD! GATSUUGA! (Fang over Fang)" Kiba could be heard shouting from the whirlwind.

"Oh SNAP!" Naruto shouted, running around like the hounds of hell were after him, as he barely dodged Kiba's attack.

"Humph, Naruto has no chance now. As long as Kiba is on the move, none of Naruto's tricks will work. This match is as good as his," Kurenai said with a smirk.

"I wouldn't count on it, Kurenai-sensei," Sakura said. "Look at Naruto."

Kurenai did so...and saw that Naruto, while running...was eating a banana.

"...What the hell?" Kurenai went.

"What kind of moron eats a banana while running from an attack?" Ino scoffed.

"Don't tell me he's gonna...Naruto's even dumber than I thought!" Shikamaru scoffed.

"Is that kid for real?" Kankuro said, getting what Naruto was about to do.

He got his answer when, once Naruto was far enough away from Kiba, the blond threw the banana peel unto the floor.

Kiba could smell the peel. "Do you really think that something like a banna peel will help?! Akamaru and I will just rip it, and YOU, to shreds!" Kiba gloated, as he and Akamaru charged towards Naruto.

'Got to time this just right...' Naruto thought, waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting...NOW!

"You're going to laugh, Kiba! Even if I have to FORCE you to!" Naruto declared, ripping of his orange jacket, and revealing a blue undershirt...that had a FLOWER sticking out on it. "Time to find your happy place, Dog-boy! Warai Gasu Ihyou (Laugh Gas Surprise)!"

A blue colored gas sprayed out of Naruto's flower, and Naruto used his chakra to aim it at the oncoming Kiba while he dodged Akamaru's attack from behind. The gas hit Kiba head on, and thanks to his VERY strong sense of smell, he had to get out of his tornado form and cover his mouth, which led him to slip on the banana peel. And since he was going so fast, he FLEW high into the air.

Naruto jumped after him, and when he was face to face with Kiba, he smashed another pie into his face. "Remon Pai Panchi!"

Kiba came crashing down unto the pavement, while Naruto landed on his feet like a pro, giving a bow to everyone with a cheesy smile on his face.

"...I can't believe it. It worked. It really worked..." Ino said, dumbfounded beyond all reason.

Shikamaru was, for once, at a loss of words.

Everyone didn't know wheather to laugh, or go 'What the FUCK?' Even Akamaru had to stop his attack, stunned at what had happened to his master.

Soon, Kiba slowly got back up to his feet. But he was laughing his ass off.

"Ha Ha Ha Ha! W-What did you-Ha Ha Ha, what did you DO TO-Ha Ha Ha-ME?!" Kiba shouted.

"It's called laughing gas for a REASON, genius," Naruto scoffed as if he were talking to a three-year-old. "Anyway...Akamaru, think fast!"

Naruto threw a Doggy Treat at Akamaru, who caught it without even thinking. Soon after, the treat exploded right in his face, leaving the poor puppy covered in black dust. Akamaru coughed up a puff of smoke, and collapsed.

"Now that the puppy is out of the way, and now that you are laughing, I can unleash my ultimate technique!" Naruto gloated, pulling out...a rubber chicken.

The only thought on everyone's mind was 'Now what?'

"Ha Ha Ha-you...you think-Ha Ha Ha-you think that a Rubber-Ha Ha Ha-Chicken is going to beat me?!" Kiba roared.

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you, Kiba. Though you don't have much choice right now," Naruto smirked. "But I warn you, I'm a master of Cluck-Fu!" He spun the chicken around like one would spin Nunchucks. The really frighting thing was that he was pretty good at it.

"Cut the bullshit!" Kiba snarled, charging for Naruto with bloodlust in his eyes, even as he continued to laugh.

Sadly, he was so distracted by his own rage that he didn't notice that Naruto had thrown down ANOTHER Banana Peel while they were both in the air. So he slipped on that one as well, and flew straight towards Naruto, who was ready for him.

"Say goodnight, sweet prince!" Naruto smirked. "Chikin Higyou! (Chicken Strike)"

Naruto smacked Kiba in the face with the CHAKRA ENFORCED Rubber Chicken as hard as he could. In fact, it was so hard that Kiba was sent flying all the way into the wall, back first. He slid down it slowly, and fell to the floor. Only this time, he didn't get back up.

"The winner is Uzumaki Naruto!" Hayate announced to the stunned group.

"Hee hee, too easy!" Naruto said, flashing the peace sign with a huge grin on his face.


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And that's all for this chapter. I hope you enjoyed Naruto's new way of fighting! Next chapter will feature the fight between Neji and Hinata. But with NARUTO giving Hinata some questionable advice before the match, you can bet it'll be unlike any Neji and Hinata fight you've read before! Catch you next continue! And the Harem List is as follows:

Ino, Sakura, Hinata, Tenten, Temari, Kin, Tayuya and Anko.