The Weaker Man

The sun shines down on me as I walk through the dusty streets of Konohagakure. My missions are over for today, so I head towards the apartment of my….what? what is he to me? Not my lover…Raido claims that title. My friend? No, you don't let your friends fuck you when you're already in a relationship….
It doesn't matter what he is to me because I'm already knocking on his door, pushing back the wave of crippling guilt. He opens it, his one visible eye wrinkled in a smile.
„Genma. Come on in“ his voice is welcoming, warm, but not overly so. Just a man happy to see his friend…. Or so it would seem to an outsider.

He closes the door after me, and then his hands are tearing off my clothes.
Within seconds I'm naked.
He touches my body, worships my skin with gloved, slender hands, and mask-covered lips.
My whole body is a big bundle of nerves that are putty in his hands.
He knows exactly where to stroke, pinch, lick, suck, bite to get the responses he wants.
Soon he's pounding into me, and I'm meeting him thrust for thrust, all inhibitions and coherent thought forgotten.
He makes sure I come before he does, and when he fills me with his seed, he pulls out immediately, and tucks his now limp member back into his pants.

We're always like this.
He's always clothed and I'm always naked.
We're like that as people too.
I'm open, honest, easy-going.
Mostly, what you see is what you get.
He's hidden behind layers of figurative fabric that only one person could remove.
Obito is dead now, and Kakashi never replaced him…
I don't think he could bear to.
I'm not delusional. I know I'm not Obito's replacement….Even if a part of me wishes I was.
I'm just one of Kakashi's many fucks.

Kakashi returns from the adjoining bathroom with a wet towel. I didn't even notice him leave. So much for shinobi senses.
He throws the towel at me and I catch it, wiping of the cum from my body.
I look up at the mysterious, masked man.
Instead of pointing at the bathroom as he usually did, he sits next to me.
Well…this is new.
He looks at my raised eyebrow and says in a curiously emotionless voice „Don't come back here again, Genma“
I look at him in disbelief. „why?“
I sound like a spoiled child, even to myself.
„because the man you love deserves more than a spoiled, unfaithful lover who cares only about himself. Don't come back, Genma“ he repeats „ I won't let you in“
And with that he rose and pointed to the bathroom.
I went to the shower, and washed off the evidence of my indiscretions.
I was shocked, but my mind was already processing the consequences.
By not coming here , I'd lose Kakashi, but then I'd never truly had him.
I'd also stop hurting Raido, even if he wasn't aware of being hurt…
Or was he?
Last night he had seemed distracted when I made love to him…and he had said something about being weak….
I smiled realizing that this would mean a stop to all the guilt.
My smile faded as I realized that I'd never be truly rid of the guilt.
But part of me was glad of that….
Glad to be reminded of the fact that what I had been doing was wrong.
Not only wrong, but dangerous.
I could have lost the person who mattered most.
I could have lost Raido.

It was there, under the hot shower that I realized what Kakashi had been to me.
My weakness.
He was a flame, and I was a moth, inexplicably drawn to him, even though I knew he could consume me.


I walked to the apartment I shared with my lover, more carefree than I had been in a long, long time. I opened the door and found tje apartment empty…
Wierd…
He almost always waited for me.
He would have left a note, I knew, if he had been called away on a mission or something like that.
So I checked the fridge. Yup. A note.
I unfolded it and scanned the neat penmanship of my lover.
The note fluttered from my hand to the ground.
Insane laughter filled the kitchen and I realized it came from me.

'Genma,
I decided to stop being weak.
I know about Kakashi. It's over.
I'm staying at Kurenai's. Don't come looking for me.
I don't want to see you.
Raido.'

I woke up the next day with the note at my fingertips, on the kitchen floor. My body hurt from sleeping on cold, hard, drafty tiles, but what hurt the most was the hollow space that used to be my heart.
Kakashi was right.
Raido did deserve better.
And I was a spoiled child who deserved to be hurt.
I had lost both of them.
One I never truly had…..
And the other whose love I took for granted.
Maybe fate was trying to teach me a lesson.
Or maybe I was just a stupid idiot who took for granted the best thing to ever happen to him.