He Can't Let Go

A/N: I present you with...part 2! Yay! This has become really light-hearted, sort of the opposite of The First Time. That way, if you don't like that, you'll like this...and if you don't like this you'll like that...and if you don't like either I don't know what to tell you. Oh, well. =]


To: MAKandCHEESE = Yes, he's creepy and I don't enjoy writing him. Everytime I mention him, I feel like he's in the room with me...and I don't like it lol. But, you can only kill him if I am given permission to kill Fugaku in your story cuz, like I've always said, he is a piece. Oh and nope I don't have msn but I'd be happy to get it...need a little help, though. I'm a tard when it comes to stuff like that. And I am super mega ultra overwhelmingly flattered you would want to illustrate for me!!! That would be amazing! ♥

To: MewMew2 = Yes, Kabuto was fun to write! He's so up Orochimaru's butt it ain't even cute. If I liked him more, I'd give him his own story...but I don't like him enough, haha.

To: KakaSasu_4ever = I dunno if I've reached the level of making them "fall helplessly in LOVE" but I'm working on it. In the meantime, enjoy the buttsex. =P (Omgosh you review everything I write, I LOVE YOUU!)

Still no banging...but we're one step closer!


Three hundred twenty-nine…three thirty. There were three hundred and thirty white squares arranged in columns on the otherwise empty space of ceiling. He would know. This was the fourth time he’d counted them today. Being hospitalized was worse than dying. It would have been just as easy to recover at home. After all, he wasn’t even bleeding. Not externally anyway. Who knew what was going on beyond his cornea?

Hospitals were just too…welcoming. Had he been discharged days ago, he would have been spared the unexpected visitations.

The first to drop by was Asuma, which he really didn’t mind at all. Truth be told, he hated shogi, but he played if only to take part in a physical action other than eating, sleeping, or breathing. A couple times, Kurenai was with him. She’d apologized for not bringing anything with her. Little did she know she provided him with the best imagery available since being confined to this room. He didn’t tell her that though. Asuma surely wouldn’t appreciate it, and would likely give him a real reason to be in the hospital. But alas, the man was banned from returning after ignoring several warnings not to smoke in the recovery ward.

Jiraiya, too, had come to see him. Refusing to ever actually step inside the room, he always appeared just outside the windowsill, grim expression usually preceding a serious discussion. Plans for the future of Naruto’s training, news on Akatsuki, updates on Orochimaru and Sasuke; these exchanges were very knowledgeable. They were generally one-sided, consisting of him listening attentively while the older man spoke. However, his visits, too, had ended upon the sannin being dispatched on an urgent S-rank mission.

Had all his company been like the above, his extended stay wouldn’t be so intolerable. But then…there was Gai.

The spandex-wearing advocate of youth found himself occupying Kakashi’s room nearly as much as the jounin himself. Whenever he wasn’t training, he was there. Whenever he wasn’t on a mission, he was there. And, most recently, whenever he needed a shower…you guessed it. At first, Kakashi stuck it out. He’d been dealing with this overly zealous man for years; he could handle a week’s worth or so with him. That was his theory at first, anyway.

Once he’d gotten over the initial discomfort of seeing a man’s package encased in thin green material, Gai hadn’t been terribly obnoxious to be around. Kakashi owed it to him after being brought constant pricey meals from his colleague’s favorite curry restaurant. Much like shogi, he wasn’t a fan of curry either. Still, he ate it both to shut Gai up and to save his stomach the trouble of digesting bland hospital food.

Too much of a good thing, he supposed. As Gai’s drop-ins upped their frequency, so did the other’s enthusiasm. Kakashi went from just eating and issuing small talk to being challenged to silly contests left and right. It started small, just thumb wrestling. But then, it progressed into who could hold their breath the longest…whose ring finger could stand tallest while the others were held down…who had best memorized the Hokage’s family tree (Kakashi lost that one from the start), until finally enough was enough.

Kakashi had taken to feigning sleep as of late to avoid the silly challenges. It was only when Gai began to strike bizarre poses and called him “Konoha’s Gentle Silver Dragon!” that he put a word in at the front desk requesting no more visitors for fear it would unhealthily increase his blood pressure.

So, today, Kakashi was left to relish in his first full day of complete solitude since being admitted. And that explained why he was counting squares…the boredom was excruciating. Being confined to a bed was the worst punishment any shinobi could face. He had nothing but his own thoughts to entertain himself. Absently, he imagined where his team was right now, and sighed upon thinking he could be fighting alongside them had he not been caught up in this mess.

Eye redirecting to the bottom left corner above him; he began his count anew. 1…2…3…4…

A light knock came at the door, so light it was really more of a tapping. Kakashi heard it though. The silence in the room was deafening today, both his window and door being shut simultaneously for the first time. He made no move to answer. If it were someone important, they’d come in. If not, they would take the hint and go away. This individual did neither.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

It was more persistent now, though still far from a full-blown knock. Whether it was from reluctance to find out the identity of the person or the inability to find his voice after hours of speechlessness was unknown, but for some reason he still didn’t answer. He did tilt his head away from the ceiling, though. Gaze staring apathetically at the entrance to the room, though unable to see through to the other side.

Finally, the handle turned and the door creaked open just slightly. Through the gap came the timid face of a young nurse. Kakashi recognized her as the one who unluckily got stuck with the night shift all the time. Younger than his own students, the girl told him she had once dreamed of joining ANBU yet didn’t have the dexterity or gracefulness to pass the chuunin exams. Being unable to actually fight, she resigned to take care of those that could and landed themselves here. Unfortunately, her medic skills were mediocre at best, so she was stuck as a volunteer and usually worked the front desk.

Kakashi liked her, despite not even knowing her name. She helped keep Gai out today, after all. Vaguely, he reminded her of Sakura…only much meeker and less prone to violence.

Beneath the too-large nurse hat, her brown eyes were wide and nervous. The eternal blush that always seemed to emerge on her face when talking to him didn’t disappoint. Kakashi followed the path of pink skin as it made a symmetrical pattern across her cheeks, nose serving as the median. And to think, she hadn’t even seen him with his mask off.

“G-Good evening, Hatake-san,” she mumbled out, voice trembling lightly.

Beneath dark cloth, he smiled warmly, eye turned up in a welcoming gesture. “Ah, and good evening to you, as well.”

Taking that as an invitation to enter, the shy girl opened the door just enough to allow herself and the tray she held through, nudging it closed with her foot until a click was heard. With wobbly legs and a shaky walk, she approached him, casting paranoid little glances over her shoulder with each step. Stopping just short of his bed, she looked away, mouth struggling to find words. “I-I brought you dinner for this evening…”

“Oh…?” Kakashi lifted himself into a more straightened upright position, back resting firmly against the wall. “Didn’t you just bring a tray of food in here an hour ago?”

Biting her lip, she met his eye again. She nodded. “Mm-hm…but I thought you might want some dessert?”

His stomach lurched. He could practically feel his esophagus closing itself off in protest. No, he didn’t think his body was ready to partake another round of battle with the inedible substance called “food” around here. Still, it was best to be polite. “That is a nice gesture. But I’m much too full to eat anything else today, I think.” Rubbing his abdomen with a grimace of satisfied pain, Kakashi prided himself on his acting skills.

“B-But!” The girl looked panicked suddenly. Thin hands twitched where they held the tray, making the opaque lid overtop the contents rattle. Again, she turned her head to look at the door as if fearful someone would see her in here. “I…I thought you’d want something…special,” the last word was said in an emphasized whisper, leaving Kakashi thoroughly confused.

“Uh…listen. Whatever it is, just save it for me tomorrow, and I promise I’ll eat it then.” This girl always seemed to fidget a bit around him, but right now she was being downright ridiculous. Maybe he should just go with it and eat whatever it was to make her happy. She really needed to calm down before she had an anxiety attack.

Before he could act, the tray was shoved forcefully into his hands by a completely red-faced girl. At this point, she looked like a nervous tomato. Then, faster than he had ever seen her move, she was out the door, latch clicking quietly behind her.

That was odd. Maybe she was more like Sakura than he thought.

After a moment of deliberation, he decided to check out the contents of his “dessert”. He could always hide it and pretend he had eaten it if she came back. Plugging his nose, having learned the hard way with the tempura last time, he slowly lifted the domed covering.

He was stunned to silence.

It’s better than food!

Scooping up the delicate object to cradle it lovingly in his palms, he suddenly felt compelled to cry. This moment was that dramatic for him. Settling it carefully in his lap, he simply stared at it in awe. It had been so long. He couldn’t resist trailing an index finger soothingly against the smooth spine, relishing in the feeling so much it was like someone caressing his own. His fingers, he noticed, held a slight tremor when he moved to open the cover. He’d been having withdrawals for god’s sake! Being reunited with his first love was totally unexpected.

That little nurse was his new best friend.

A couple of days ago, the two of them had struck up a brief conversation during the early hours of the morning. That was when Kakashi had learned of the girl’s background, committing it to memory. Though it wasn’t much, he decided to share a few facts about himself just to be fair. One such fact was his abundance of love for Icha Icha and anything similar to it. He also entailed the heartache he felt upon having Tsunade snatch it from him after entering the hospital.

He swore that when he’d mentioned something about the girl hunting it down for him it was said in a joking way. Maybe…Well, it didn’t matter. She clearly went through a lot of trouble to return it, and he’d be damned if all her effort was in vain.

With this new sense of adoration for someone he barely knew combined with the near-tearful reunion with his adult novel, Kakashi realized the past five minutes had turned his day from a bad one…to a good one. Flipping to the page he last left off, he only hoped it stayed that way.

Minutes turned into hours as time ticked by. The sun, which previously hovered just above the distant earth in an orange glow, was now completely nonexistent, replaced with bedazzled stars dimmed by a lower layer of clouds, all decorations of the night sky.

All this time he read. Eye jerking one way to another, he read speedily, only pausing to slow during interesting parts. Sometimes he’d read those paragraphs twice, just because he could. It made the experience last longer. The later it got, the harder it became to see the words. Only being illuminated by a small bedside lamp, the rest of the room was enshrouded in darkness save for the bit of light shining through the window…which was making a strange sound.

Closing the book with one hand, mentally noting the page he left off on, he pulled himself back into a seated position, having slouched earlier in relaxation. He swore he heard something. But even now, without the very heated pornographic scene to distract his senses, everything was soundless. He’d give it a minute, shinobi senses, sharingan or no, were kicking in and telling him something wasn’t quite right.

Just before the minute was up, Kakashi’s inquiry was answered by a tapping noise. This time coming from the window, not the door. And, unlike earlier, this tapping was in no way timid. In fact, judging by the intensity of the sounds, Kakashi figured if it weren’t for being nighttime the taps would be full-blown knocks and that, had the window not been locked from the inside, whoever it was would have certainly barged into the room on their own.

From the other side of the glass, there was nobody. Kakashi had only just registered the retracting of a pale finger to the left once the sound ended. Momentary thoughts of it being Jiraiya were quickly dashed. Before leaving, the man had confirmed he wasn’t expected back for two weeks or more.

Setting the book aside, Kakashi found he couldn’t contain his curiosity. It was going on midnight, so who could be bothering him from outside a four-story window? Well, he was about to find out. He hadn’t found a reason to get out of bed all day. Now, he did.

Shaking off the prickly numb feeling from half asleep feet, he briskly crossed the few feet of space to the wall. Even from this close Kakashi couldn’t see who was out there, no matter how he angled his head. Whoever it was had either pranked him and run off or were plastered to the side of the building. There was no chakra, so maybe the person had just wanted to mess with him briefly and leave. That didn’t stop Kakashi from unhooking the latch and pulling the window open, though. Prepared to duck back in quickly should he be attacked, the silver-haired man stuck his head over the threshold slowly.

He wasn’t prepared, however, for what he did find.

Just to his left, small enough to stand casually on the twelve-inch wide ledge surrounding the building was a little blond boy. A livid-looking, blond, little boy. He looked about seven. Judging by his lackluster choice of clothing, being a plain red short-sleeve shirt and black shorts, Kakashi was really baffled as to just what he was doing there. Parents didn’t even look after their kids nowadays! Did he realize that if he fell even that self-assured look on his face wouldn’t save him?

It was only then he noticed the child was giving him that dirty look.

“Uh…did you need something?”

“Why won’t you have visitors?” That voice, while squeaky and boyish, commanded a condescending tone that made something about the kid a little off. That, and the fact that he was standing without any sort of regard to how dangerous his position was, made Kakashi suspicious.

“Well, it is past midnight. Visiting hours are from one to seven.”

That earned him the crossing of the boy’s arms over his chest indignantly and—was that an eye twitch?

“I came earlier,” the boy scoffed. “I got turned away as soon as I walked in.”

Saying that only sprung up further questions in Kakashi’s mind. Who was this kid? How did he know him? He shrugged disinterestedly. “Well you’re here now, what do you want?”

With agility no seven-year old had, the boy sidestepped gracefully to swing in front of the window. He was blocked entry from Kakashi’s spread arms gripping either side of the frame. Grasping the top, because otherwise he would lose his balance, he shot the older man a glare. “Let me in, or you’ll be kicking yourself for your stupidity later.” Seeing Kakashi was still unwilling to budge, he took a different approach. Lightening his tone, he lowered his voice to just above a whisper, leaning close to the man’s ear, “Don’t you want to know who I am?”

“Not really,” Kakashi replied, pulling back and sliding the window closed, muffling the boy’s sharp intake of breath at the action. He didn’t lock it though, and wondered if the kid took the hint.

It took a few seconds, but he did.

Kakashi had his back turned, ready to climb into bed when he heard it. The subtle sliding of a window to open then shut. The developing smirk beneath the mask came to a halt when he heard curtains being drawn and a low poof! He was hesitant to turn around, choosing to ignore the slight increase of heart rate at not even detecting that it was a disguise.

Taking in the sight before him, everything seemed to click. His heart was hammering of its own accord, expression frozen into an unaffected lazy stare.

Sasuke.

The boy was long gone. In front of him stood a hardened version of his old student, complete with ominous expression and fiercely narrowed dark eyes. Same hairstyle, same I’m-better-than-you attitude. He’d grown…a lot. His body had clearly packed on some muscle, though still retained its air of thinness without looking scrawny. Only then did Kakashi realize what his ex-student was wearing.

“I’m flattered you want to dress like me, but to be a jounin you’ll have to pass the exam like everyone else.”

As confirmed, Sasuke was clothed in the same high-collared navy shirt, sans green vest, all the higher-level shinobi donned. He’d also managed to locate matching uniform pants, having discarded the entirety of his sound attire.

Kakashi took in the sight from just steps away, briefly recalling he’d never seen the uniform look so tight on anyone. But then, perhaps it was from the missing vest. Yes, that was it.

Sasuke was flustered. He was the one who planned out this whole encounter. He was the one who was supposed to show up unexpectedly, leaving Kakashi speechless. So how in the hell had the man flipped his whole scheme upside-down with a stupid comment like that? “I stole it,” he hissed angrily, not at all acting like the cool character he’d come up with before tapping on the window.

Kakashi found it hard not to admire the complimentary way the teenager’s hair coincided with the dark color of the clothing. It made him look…mystifying. Especially with the little lamp’s glow highlighting one side of his body, and the obscuring darkness eclipsing the other. Deep in the recesses of his mind Kakashi found it oddly appropriate. That same alcove was where he allowed the word gorgeous to float around. His active mind was banned from visiting that portion of his brain for obvious reasons.

Under the heavy scrutinizing, Sasuke felt his annoyance level rise. For once, it was almost in a good way. It didn’t skyrocket the way it did whenever he caught Orochimaru staring at him. Still, that didn’t mean he liked it. Crossing his arms in the exact way he did earlier, though in the little boy’s body, he made a conceited clicking sound with his tongue. “That all you have to say?”

Kakashi’s eye seemed to hone in even more. “What are you doing here?”

Wow. He wasn’t expecting him to drop the bomb so soon, though in hindsight Sasuke knew he should have. Additionally, he should have thought of a good answer to that question because right now he was scrambling. Why did I come? Up until this point, he’d acted purely on instinct. Mentally extinguishing his internal panic, he decided that if he’d gotten this far on instinct, and without using logic of mind, he could continue.

“Mangekyo,” he answered coolly, finally retrieving some of the fractionally lost confidence. “I heard about your fight with Akatsuki. So I came to ask about your sharingan.”

“Oh?” Kakashi pondered what Sasuke said. Word traveled fast, it seemed. He moved to sit on the bed, feet having melted from their frozen state. “So you haven’t come back to stay?”

Sasuke vigorously shook his head. “My goal right now is to kill Itachi. I don’t have room for other plans.” He, too, reclined into a more relaxed position; remaining standing, he slumped just slightly against the wall, crossing his leg at the ankles.

“So you came all the way back just to see me?”

Shoulders tensing, Sasuke choked on his tongue, caught off guard by a question he didn’t expect. Why did Kakashi always have to say things like that? The way he made it sound was that he’d…he’d…well, it was like he was inferring things that were not true. Just go with it.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” he replied nonchalantly, fighting not to look away when Kakashi raised an eyebrow and smirked devilishly. He could see the man’s expressions even beneath the mask, even in this darkness, just like he used to. This wasn’t going as easily as he’d planned. I didn’t plan it, he reminded himself.

There was an uncomfortable, for Sasuke at least, pause that lasted several seconds. He used this time to stare at the lopsided forehead protector that concealed the red iris residing beneath. He wondered about the man’s fight. Was this guy from Akatsuki really that strong? Would Kakashi have died if he didn’t use it? With measured steps, he strutted forward, halting with a couple of feet between them so neither felt uncomfortable. “Let me see your eye.”

Kakashi closed his visible eye briefly, letting the low rumble of an adult Sasuke’s voice wash over him. He’d changed so much. But here he was, acting the same as ever. As if nothing happened. He hadn’t been corrupted or brainwashed by the snake sannin, and Kakashi felt relieved by that. Lifting up the blue band, the obstruction was removed followed by taped gauze. His eyelid felt heavy, having not been in use for several days, and he struggled to open it slowly. It still felt somewhat numb, but, unlike the last time he checked, vision had been restored despite the blurred fuzziness at the corners.

Sasuke really didn’t know why he’d asked this of the other man. He’d seen Kakashi’s sharingan before. Still, that didn’t stop him from crossing those final few steps to close the space between them. Their close proximity made his breaths become deeper. With the tips of two gloveless fingers, so as to avoid as much skin contact as possible, he just barely pressed them against the masked chin, angling him toward the light for a better look. For a second, the sensation of warm cloth under his fingers overpowered the stronger vision of Kakashi’s face. Sliding a bit further toward the jounin’s neck, he rested the whole of his flat palm there; thumb barely touching the sharp jaw line, the other four fingers extending to nudge against soft silver hairs at the base of a neck. Just for better leverage, he told himself, refusing to acknowledge the calm pulse fluttering weakly under his hand.

“There’s a lot of damaged blood vessels, it’ll still take some time to repair all of them. You’re an idiot for using it. You could have gone blind,” he muttered, sounding uncharacteristically concerned. He straightened then, but didn’t back away, observing Kakashi replacing the bandaging and his hitai-ate.

“Well, thank you for the information, but the doctor already told me all of that when I got here.”

Above him, Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Did she call you an idiot, too?”

“Something along those lines, yes.”

They enjoyed a moment of amicable silence this time. Sasuke found he quite liked towering over Kakashi for once instead of the other way around. It made his lack of personal space, due to his own actions, seem less important.

“You know, I’m surprised,” Kakashi stated, leaning back a bit on an arm, “that your sensei isn’t tearing Konoha apart right now looking for you.” The chuckle died in his throat when he saw the Uchiha’s calm expression transform into a heavy scowl.

“Don’t call him that.”

He turned away, then, walking a few steps back to the window. Hearing Kakashi call that twisted human being his sensei conflicted him. He was feeling angry, and beneath that…guilt. Orochimaru was the one who had been teaching him technique after technique for the past couple of years, so in every sense of the word he was his sensei. But calling him that…with Kakashi right here in front of him was just wrong. “I’ll never consider him my sensei,” he hissed angrily to the wall.

Kakashi sat paralyzed, not expecting such an adverse reaction. Partly, he wanted nothing more than to get up and pat Sasuke on the shoulder comfortingly; he’d frequently wanted to do that when the boy was younger. However, like always, he didn’t. He chose instead to hold his position unmoving, just waiting for the other to collect himself. He knew when the time came because Sasuke’s shoulders lost some of that tensed look and his breathing had evened out.

“Orochimaru knows where I am,” he spat, expression still sour as he turned. “When you didn’t show up with the old team, I asked him about you.”

Kakashi didn’t ignore the fact that Naruto and Sakura had been reduced to “the old team”. He briefly wondered how that encounter went down, though it was obvious what the outcome was. Moreover, he felt ridiculous when a strange warm feeling grew inside upon knowing Sasuke had been thinking about him.

“So, that’s when I found out. About your mangekyo,” Sasuke finished, stoic demeanor back in place. He’d worked so hard to suppress his emotions for years, but it seemed the harder he tried the harder they were to contain. It appeared, unbeknownst to him, revisiting Konoha effected him more than he expected. The thought of that was embarrassing.

“Ah…that. Well—”

Before Kakashi could get his sentence out, there was a loud commotion from the hallway. Through the solid wood of the door, a loud feminine voice barked loud orders.

“I said for you to get those papers together yesterday, Shizune!”

“I’m sorry Hokage-sama! You-you were drinking last night and told me something el—”

“That doesn’t matter, get them together, now!”

Alarmed, Kakashi recognized it as Tsunade and, judging by the loud clacking footsteps, she was coming this way, and fast. Without a thought, he had hopped up and was throwing the Uchiha harshly to the ground, hushing the rain of insults flying from the other’s mouth, and molding him as closely against the side of the bed as he could. “Just stay down!” he hissed before moving just as swiftly to hop back up on it.

He had about half a second to look sleepy and lazy before the door burst open, a whirlwind of blonde pigtails entering the room.

“Hatake!”

“Hmm…?” he sat up with a lazy stretch, yawning extra long, even going so far as to stretch his arms backwards upon exhaling.

“Have you seen a young boy, today? Blond, looks about eight, red shirt?” she looked pissed off. But then again, she looked that way most of the time.

Kakashi frowned slightly. “No, I asked for no visitors, so I haven’t seen anybody today. Who’s the kid?”

“We don’t know,” she snapped with an exasperated sigh. “He’s been spotted all over town. Broke into our uniform supply, for whatever reason.” Both hands were rubbing her temples with impatience. “Just keep an eye out for him.” She turned to leave, and was just out the door when—

“Explain yourself, Hatake, what the hell is this?!” her clawed hand shot out pointing towards him, and for a second Kakashi felt his heart stop. She stalked over to him, the angriest he’d seen her in ages. It was over. She’d spotted Sasuke.

A/N: I think I have a problem with second chapter cliffhangers. But this was saturated with them! Everytime I tried to end the chapter, it was like "don't do that, that's a cliff hanger" but I ended up doing it in the end anyway...and on the BEST one. Oh well, I'll update soon. Till then send me some lovvvvve ♥

And am I the only one who gets a little hot under the collar thinking of Sasuke dressed like that???? Swooooooon, haha.

Ugh and on a personal note...I updated this tonight cuz tomorrow I'm off to visit the world of 1800s technology (aka my father's domain). No cell phone...dial-up internet...mouse the size of my face. But I'll be back next week! As long as I survive this that is...