Black Swan (not at all connected to the movie)

Thanks guys! It's been like half a year that I've been writing this. So . . . it's long.
Thanks krito1389 for the permission to tease you. ^_^ No hate mail yet. I'll keep you updated.

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Sasuke woke up with his face against a nice warm pillow. He couldn’t remember when he felt better. He mostly slept on bedrolls laid on the uneven forest floor, or, more recently, strangers’ sofas. Though he appeared to be on another sofa. His knees were brought up so that they were even with his hips, pressed against the back of a sofa. Regardless, he snuggled in deeper into the warm pillow. An arm laid itself over his shoulder and back. Sasuke jumped.

Sasuke stood wide-eyed staring down at Kakashi who was just waking up.

“What the fuck?!” Sasuke yelled, immediately regretting it as his head felt like it was splitting and his balance shifted. Kakashi reached out and grabbed Sasuke before he fell over.

Sasuke was too dizzy to shake the older man off. He sank to his knees, slowed by Kakashi. “What happened last night?”

“You just got drunk, I brought you home with me and you wouldn’t let go. Nothing else happened.”

Sasuke held his head tightly between his palms, obviously searching his own memories for what happened. “Oh shit.” He looked up at Kakashi. “I didn’t say that, did I?”

“You did say ‘oh shit’ out loud.” Sasuke scowled at him. Kakashi had the good grace to be contrite. “Yes, you did.”

Sasuke looked down again. “Fuck.”

“I love you too.”

Sasuke looked up with a scowl. Kakashi thought, His neck is going to hurt.

“I can’t deal with this now. That wasn’t supposed to come out.”

“Why can’t you deal with it?”

“I’ve just been pardoned, I don’t have a place to live . . . nothing in my life is settled.”

“Well, since you don’t have a place to sleep, why don’t you sleep off the hangover in my bed.” Sasuke looked worried. “I won’t be there. I’ve got things to do. Stay as long as you want. Are you hungry?”

The thought of food made bile rise in Sasuke’s throat.

“First door on the left.”

Sasuke ran toward the hall. Kakashi chuckled once the door shut.

-----

Kakashi was gone when Sasuke stumbled out of the bathroom. He carried a bottle of aspirin with him to the kitchen. He swallowed the recommended number of tablets and drank two full glasses of water. It wasn’t until now he realized Kakashi was gone.

If Kakashi was gone there was no harm in accepting his invitation to use his bed. Sasuke only remembered the small apartment from four years ago. Where the hell was the bedroom? Sasuke stumbled down the hall and finally found it.

Sasuke crawled into the inviting looking bed. Oh, it was nice. Much nicer than the simple beds he’d been used to while living underground. Once the pain in his head subsided enough, Sasuke drifted off to sleep.

-----

Kakashi went straight to his bedroom that afternoon. Sasuke was out; snoring softly and wrapped around a pillow like a teddy bear. Or lover. Kakashi stared at him. Sasuke was so cute like that. He let him sleep.

An hour later, Sasuke came out looking extremely unhappy. He never was a morning person. Well, that is . . .

“Good afternoon, Sasuke-kun.”

Sasuke scowled at him. “I’m never drinking sake again.” He fell into a chair. The silence was a bit awkward, both thinking about the same thing.

“About what I said—”

“I just need to know one thing,” Kakashi interrupted. “Did you mean it?”

Sasuke looked away and didn’t answer right away. “I should go.”

“Go where? Naruto’s? You don’t have a place to live.”

“Hotel then.”

“Maybe I feel the same way.”

Sasuke scoffed. He was about to say something to deny his confession last night, but someone knocked at the door. Kakashi answered it. It was one of the Hyuuga who worked for the Hokage.

“We’ve been looking for Uchiha Sasuke.”

“You had to resort to the Byakugan?” Kakashi was amused. Sasuke came up behind him.

“The Hokage has a place for you to live until you find a permanent place.”

“I was just offering him my spare bedroom actually.”

Sasuke was able to keep himself for looking at Kakashi reproachfully, but . . . “Everything’s changed since I left; I’d like to stay here. I’d like to be around one thing that’s remained constant.”

“Constant, huh?”

“You’re still a perverted old Jounin; still reading those damn novels, if you can call any one of those pieces of trash a ‘novel.’”

“You three never complained about them before.”

“One of us complained weekly, if not more often.”

The Hyuuga put out his hands to stop the marital bickering. “I’m the sure the Hokage will be happy with that arrangement.” He left before they could start arguing again.

Kakashi shut the door. “So, ‘yes?’”

“Yes to what?”

“You want to stay with me?”

“She probably wanted me in the tower or near Naruto or Sakura. And I was telling the truth.”

“That you’re in love with me?”

Sasuke glared at him. “That I want to be around something familiar, not that I want to be around someone who teases me.”

“I won’t tease you then.” Sasuke didn’t expect what happened next and it was a blur. All he knew was that he suddenly had bare lips pressed to his. His first instinct was to shove the older man away. His hands came up, but they didn’t push him away, they just fisted Kakashi’s uniform.

Kakashi licked and sucked at Sasuke’s lips in a way that made electricity travel up and down Sasuke’s spine. He had one hand on Sasuke’s face and the other on his back. The hand on his face migrated back through his hair to grip Sasuke’s neck, pulling Sasuke harder against his lips. Sasuke didn’t deny him entry.

But when that other hand slipped further down his back, Sasuke shook Kakashi off. As much as he wanted to see Kakashi’s face, he kept his eyes up, giving Kakashi time to raise the mask.

But he didn’t raise it. “You never did answer my question.”

Sasuke’s eyes were answer enough as they stared directed into Kakashi’s inches away; soft and hazy just on the cusp of submission. “Yes, I meant it. But I . . .” Sasuke trailed off. An immediacy came back into his eyes. “Where’s my room?”

“I don’t have any furniture in that room.”

“Then I’ll buy some. It’s not too late, is it?”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Then let’s get it over with. I’m not sleeping on one more sofa.”

Sasuke whirled, determined not to see Kakashi’s face. It was Kakashi’s turn to smirk as he raised his mask.

-----

For a while it was like things hadn’t changed from four years ago. Kakashi was lazy and laid back, letting Sasuke do most of the work, Sasuke scowling at him. But when it came to any heavy lifting, Kakashi was ready to show off that he was still superior to his Uchiha apprentice. But when Kakashi refused to help him assemble the bed for too long, Sasuke made clones just as Kakashi finally felt inclined to help. Sasuke—and Sasuke and Sasuke—shouldered him out of the way to do it himself.

“Like I said, nothing about you has changed. Still a lazy, irritating ass.”

“If that’s your opinion, why do you love me then?”

Sasuke slammed the door in his face.

-----

The next day was their first training session together in four years. Sasuke was expectedly uninterested; he still saw himself far beyond Naruto and Sakura, and perhaps even Kakashi.

Sasuke had adopted a tight, pure black outfit with an Uchiha fan on the back. His black Jounin vest would hide it on missions to help hide him from those who would want to capture a Sharingan. He wore his Konoha headband wrapped around his left bicep.

To warm up, Kakashi had them fight with taijutsu. Sure enough, Sasuke literally ran circles around the other two. Kakashi attacked and was barely able to keep up. Sasuke kicked Kakashi in the chest without much force and backed up out of the fight.

“Maybe all three of you should attack me,” Sasuke said.

“Don’t get too overconfident, Sasuke,” Kakashi warned. “This is merely training, not a competition.”

“Ah.” Sasuke stood down. But Naruto saw an opening to show Sasuke he could in fact hit him and attacked. Kakashi rolled his eyes, but didn’t interfere.

Sasuke blocked every move, but as Naruto continued to try to pummel him, he couldn’t suppress his surprise as at Naruto’s zeal and growing skill. This was definitely not the same dobe he once knew. Sasuke was on pure defense. He was getting tired of it. He moved into offence. Naruto wouldn’t stop. So Sasuke used a page from Kakashi’s book, trapping Naruto the same way Kakashi had Sasuke during the bells exercise.

“Didn’t you hear Kakashi?” Sasuke asked. “We’re not here to hurt each other.” Sasuke let him go.

Kakashi was pleased with Sasuke, he wasn’t as hotheaded as he once was and far less than Naruto. And he listened to him. He didn’t even try to suppress a smirk since it was hidden behind his mask. If Sasuke was submissive to him out here . . .

The boys were both standing again.

“We’ll train in pairs for now. Sasuke, Sakura—” Sakura stared at Kakashi in shock “—you two can work together. Sasuke’s skilled enough to give you a challenge and train you without hurting you.” Sakura blushed. “Naruto, I’ll train you in a few new moves your father taught me.” Naruto brightened at that.

After the initial taijutsu training, Kakashi wanted to see the three of them use ninjutsu. They hadn’t worked together in so long, he was sure even Sakura would surprise Sasuke.

“Sasuke, I want you to defend against Sakura’s ninjutsu. I want you to know her capabilities and I want her to see how you defend against it. Naruto, watch them.”

Sakura did in fact surprise Sasuke, but he effectively blocked or dodged everything. He even took on her most powerful chakra backed hits. In the end, she was panting and had a fire in her eyes, a little angry that nothing had worked against him. But the approving look on his face was heartening.

“Naruto, now you. Don’t get too excited, one move at a time. No Rasengan, any type of Rasengan. And no shadow clones.”

Naruto fought an expressionless Sasuke for five minutes. It was getting Naruto angry. Sasuke defeated everything he tried; granted Sasuke was using his Sharingan this time where he hadn’t with Sakura. It got too much for Naruto. He made a Rasengan. Kakashi was about to rush in and stop him, but Sasuke put out a hand; let him try it. Sasuke brought out Susano to block it, just a single rib; he had developed very fine control of it over the last few months. The Rasengan hit and dissipated without getting near Sasuke’s body. The rib vanished. All three stared at Sasuke. Kakashi wanted to give up; that would only piss Naruto off to no end.

“Susano? That’s overkill.”

Sasuke glared at him. “How do you know what it’s called?”

“You told me where to look and I awakened the Mangekyo before you did. But I can’t do that.”

Sasuke scoffed. “I haven’t used it in a week, I need the practice.”

“What is it?” Naruto asked.

Sasuke smirked. He had developed an urge to show off. Perhaps with Itachi gone—the one person he needed to prove himself to—he was more willing to show off to his peers. Or maybe it was just Kakashi.

The bluish warrior grew up around Sasuke, bones, muscles, and armor-like flesh along with the bow/shield. Sasuke was grimacing in pain and trying to hide it; Naruto and Sakura couldn’t see it, but Kakashi could. Sasuke let it drop.

“My ultimate defense. Devastating offence as well. I’m only the third or fourth Uchiha to be able to use it.”

“That’s enough for today.”

Sasuke leveled a challenging look at Kakashi. “Don’t want to take a turn?” Kakashi’s answering look told Sasuke that he knew what Susano cost him, but was not saying it out loud in consideration for him. “Whatever.”

The display apparently made Naruto actually feel better about not being able to touch Sasuke; if Sasuke brought out his ultimate defense . . . Kakashi considered that Sasuke knew that would be Naruto’s reaction.

“I guess you win today, Sasuke!” Naruto declared. “You should treat us all to some ramen!” Naruto put a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder.

Kakashi saw all of Sasuke’s muscles tense up as if he were restraining himself from attacking when Naruto touched him.

Sasuke shrugged Naruto’s hand away. “Fine.” Sasuke led the way. Kakashi wanted to stop him and make him rest, but Sasuke would resent any implication he was weak in any way.

Sasuke had been gone for so long out of Kakashi’s care that he wasn’t sure if Sasuke had much money. He’d bought his own furniture, waving off Kakashi’s offer to pay for it—at least on a loan basis. But Sasuke waved him off again when Kakashi offered to pay for the meal of ramen, even after Naruto ordered a seventh bowel. Sasuke blithely paid the tab.

It wasn’t until they walked out onto the street that it occurred to Naruto that Sasuke didn’t have a home.

“You can crash with me,” Naruto offered.

“I have a place to stay.”

“Really?”

“Kakashi’s letting me use his spare room.” He turned to head off toward Kakashi’s home and Kakashi came up beside him more nonchalantly than he felt. He felt the other two’s eyes burrowing into his back.

Once they were away from anyone who would eavesdrop, Kakashi said, “Thank you for paying for dinner.”

“It’s nothing. I have a small fortune. Feeding Naruto isn’t something I want to do on a regular basis, but it’s fine once in a while.”

“You want to talk about what you said?”

“No.”

“Did you ever intend to tell me?”

“No.”

“Why not?” Sasuke refused to answer. “But now I know.”

“Can this wait until we’re off the street?”

“There’s no one listening in; surely you know that.”

“Yes, but I still don’t want to talk about it on the street.”

Sasuke had to stand back as Kakashi unlocked the door. “I’ll get you your own keys,” he said as Sasuke entered the house in a slight huff. Kakashi shut the door.

“So, why didn’t you want to tell me?”

Sasuke sat down and glared at him. “You don’t give up.”

“Tenacity is one of my strong points.”

Was that a smile in Sasuke’s eyes? “I didn’t think you’d reciprocate.”

“Well, I do. Why are you still hesitant?”

Sasuke’s eyes were narrowed again. “What makes you think all I want is to hop into bed with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Then stop leering at me like that.”

“I admit I want to sleep with you. But I do love you.”

“Then show it without trying to fuck me.”

“You could be more affectionate.”

Sasuke demurred. Kakashi liked that look. “I’ve not . . . I . . .”

“No one’s showed you affection in so long, you don’t know what it’s like.” Sasuke wouldn’t look at him. “I’ll show you. I won’t try to seduce you. But you will have to let me touch you.”

Sasuke didn’t move, but something about him seemed to open up, inviting Kakashi to approach him. Kakashi accepted. He couched in front of the seated teenager. He took off his gloves and reached out to touch Sasuke’s neck. Sasuke wanted to pull away, but he stayed perfectly still. Kakashi’s hand was warm and felt so good. Sasuke shut his eyes. Kakashi gently caressed the flawless skin under Sasuke’s left ear; he could feel Sasuke’s rapid heartbeat.

Why was Sasuke so afraid of touch? What had Orochimaru done to him?

Kakashi’s fingers moved back into his hairline and pressed his palm against Sasuke’s colder skin. Sasuke’s head tilted down, unconsciously trying to lean into Kakashi’s touch. Kakashi raised his hand to put it on Sasuke’s cheek. Sasuke flinched and opened his eyes, but he didn’t pull away.

“Don’t you trust me?”

“No.” But his tone was softer than Kakashi’d ever hear it.

Kakashi pulled his mask down and was gratified by the sudden intensity in Sasuke’s black eyes. Kakashi pulled Sasuke forward and kissed him. Sasuke melted and let Kakashi explore his mouth. Then he tentatively began kissing back.

This time Kakashi kept from touching Sasuke too intimately and he pulled away from the kiss before Sasuke. “It’s a start. Just let your guard down a little when we’re alone.” Sasuke nodded.

Kakashi pulled him up with him and he pulled the younger man into an embrace. Sasuke’s body was stiff at first, but he soon relaxed and rested his head on Kakashi’s shoulder and put his arms around Kakashi’s thin waist. Kakashi leaned his head against Sasuke’s. Keeping one hand safely high on his back, Kakashi put the other on Sasuke’s hair and petted it soothingly.

“Even if I earn your trust, you still have to give it.”

“I lied. I trust you.”

“Thank you.”