Brotherly Affection

Author's Note: The second part...finally!  As a heads up, there's a bit of implied Heterosexual relations in this chapter, but it is in no way the focus of the story. Also, no Beta and its late, so I'm sure there's at least a mistake or two.





Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the characters. I make no money from this.







Brotherly Affection



:Part Two:



Written By: Crimson2006



No Beta



For: YuukoUchiha









Two weeks later…







He still hadn’t talked to Sasuke. Itachi knew he needed to, but every time he convinced himself to go through with it, he found himself backing out at the last second. He just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t show up at the club, go into that room and restart the conversation where they had left off. It was a matter of emotional dysfunction; of weight and rationality that seemed to haunt him. He wasn’t one-hundred percent sure about what he felt, and even if he was sure, he knew that it was unethical for him to be so selfish.  Despite the conversation he had with Pein, those notions kept bleeding through and tainting the surface.  It was mistake to have ever gone to the club, and because of that, part of him held some reserve about going back.





Of course in his own defense, it wasn’t like Sasuke was seeking him out either. They’d passed several times in the hallways of their house, but the youth carried on like he always did. Not saying a word or giving any recognition other than an occasional nod when he had to. Itachi was almost prone to believe that he’d made the whole thing up, but he knew better than that. He just wasn’t completely ready to accept the situation for what it was; his own feelings still so muddled and conflicted in exactly what direction he wanted to take them. It was easy to say he was going to talk to Sasuke, but then what if the other pushed again, what if they ended up back on the bed, his little brother grinding against him and whispering dirty words in his ear.





Itachi felt a small tremor work down his back as various feelings swelled in his stomach. He wasn’t sure he wanted things to go that far, that fast—or at all—and from their last sexual encounter, it seemed like Sasuke had a problem comprehending the word no.  





Sitting in the familiar coffee shop, the raven took a sip of his java and tried to clear his mind. The table was scattered with the usual course of papers and books, and Pein was running late like he tended to do from time to time. He supposed that was for the best anyway. He really needed to get some of his work done, and any added distraction would only prolong that. Then again, it wasn’t like being left alone helped much. Three pages into his criminology book and he was completely stressed out. Itachi knew he had to stop doing this to himself, and yet every week he was there making his life worse. He was seriously a glutton for punishment.





“Hey…”





Lost in thought, Itachi looked up with slight delay, surprised to hear that someone was talking to him but even more baffled when he realized who it was. “Sasuke?” he spoke confused, his mind reeling around the situation before he asked the most obvious of questions. “What are you doing here?”





Not happy about the way he was greeted; the twenty year old gave a snort and roughly pulled out of his chair. “Some redheaded guy who knows Naruto told me you’d be here. He said you wanted to talk and that it was important.”





“Did he?” He was going to kill Pein later. The man had set him up. He supposed he deserved it though—for putting the conversation off for as long as he had.





Sasuke shrugged at the rhetorical question and looked around, noting the poor décor and the less than prestigious atmosphere. He hadn’t realized that Itachi liked to hangout in these kinds of places. Then again, he didn’t know very much about his brother’s personal life. They clearly traveled different paths. Still, Sasuke figured it was a nice place to study. Out of the way, not likely to have much traffic, and judging from the table in front of him, Itachi looked like he had a lot of shit that he needed to be studying. “This a secret hangout of yours?”





“Something like that.”





“You meet that redheaded guy here?”





“Sometimes.”





Sasuke clicked his tongue in slight agitation. “Exactly how close are you two?”





“Does it matter?”



 

“It does if he’s fucking you.”





Itachi frowned. If he hadn’t known any better, he would have thought his brother was jealous of Pein. “He’s just a friend. And for the record: I don’t bottom, so no one fucks me.”





“Really?” Sasuke asked arching a brow at that last statement before letting a mischievous smirk slip over his visage. Assertively he reached over and snagged Itachi’s cup of java, drawing it towards himself.  “I bet I could change that,” he hummed. “Rather I’ve already made my mind up that you’d look good underneath me, and I won’t be persuaded otherwise. Guess you’ll just have to comply with being a bottom to sate my egotistical and narcissistic tendencies.”





“You have issues Sasuke.”





“Pft, like you’re one to talk. Speaking of which, what was so important that I had to be here?” The younger raven questioned, though he already had a good of idea what the answer was.  Itachi was either going to flat out reject him or give him some slim thread of hope that he might be okay with what he’d purposed the other night. Really it didn’t matter which choice transpired. He wasn’t going to give up until he got what he wanted.





“Well it’s not exactly appropriate to discuss in public…” The elder expressed.





Sasuke took a sip of the commandeered java and chuckled at those words. That was Itachi for you, always so formal, always so prestigious about what was right and wrong and the front he had to put up for society. Sasuke on the other hand didn’t give a shit about those kinds of formalities. It was why he’d never really fit in as an Uchiha; at least in regards to lingering under society’s microscope. “So you do want my dick in your nice tight ass then?” he poised, watching his kin retort with a disapproving visage.





“Would you stop hearing what you want to, and just listen to what I have to say?”





“Well first you have to stop being scared and actually say what’s on your mind. And secondly, I think that if I read between the lines –and assuming we’re following a rough translation– then that was what you were going to get at.”





“No it wasn’t. For god’s sake Sasuke, we’re brothers…”





“Yeah we established that two weeks ago when you freaked out because I had my tongue down your throat and your rock hard dick against my ass. But I think you were at least enjoying yourself, if you would have just gone with the moment, we’d be past all this bullshit by now.” The youth shot back, taking another sip of his brother’s drink. He was expecting to hear Itachi rebuke some sort of stupid comeback. Strangely though, when that didn’t transpire dark eyes peaked over the rim of the cup, silently observing the serious lines donning his brother’s features. Itachi looked old and tired. He also looked dead serious. “What’s the matter, no coy retort?” he finally questioned, setting the white mug onto the table.





“It’s complicated…”





“No it’s not Tach—”





“Yes it is.” The elder interjected lowly and with narrowed eyes. “It’s very complicated. You’ve spent god knows how long looking at me as an object of sexual desire –and because of a sudden opportunity– you decided to randomly declare that you want to fuck me and expect that I’d be okay with that. Well I’m not Sasuke. I never once thought of you outside brotherly affection. Granted that what happened at the club wasn’t as dislikable as it was awkward, but—”





“—don’t say ‘but’ Aniki,” Sasuke deadpanned, already knowing where the other was going with the subject. “Cause then you’re just over thinking shit, and you always do that; with our parents, with school and even with your job. I know we don’t hang out much, but there’s a reason that you and dad get along so well. You give him everything he asks for. Course I’m sure you’re compromising your own happiness for it right? Buried under ten pounds of goddamn text books in a shithole coffee shop; I can’t see how you couldn’t be anything short of miserable. Then again, maybe I’m wrong. Am I wrong Aniki? Are you happy with your life?” Sasuke queried, making sure to press the subject towards the end because he wanted an honest answer from his brother.





Itachi sighed. Sasuke wasn’t making this easy and he got the feeling his brother knew exactly what he was doing too. Sasuke had always been a clever one; something the years had no doubt matured as far as ingenuity.





“What do you think?” Itachi finally replied, his expression dim as he looked down to the mountain of paperwork that was sitting in front of him. Of course he hated it. He hated every last bit of it, but one of them had to be responsible and it was clear Sasuke wasn’t going to take on that role.  No, his brother was much too busy selling his ass and having fun to think about anyone other than himself. Itachi hated that the balance was so unfair—that he always had to pick up the slack as compensation—but loathing something did little to change it. “How can I be happy? How could anyone be happy when they were drowning in all this shit?” he questioned.





“Then do something for yourself Tach; give into your own desire for once.  No one has to know that you broke the rules. It’ll be our secret. I promise I won’t even blackmail you over it.”





Itachi’s eye twitched and his lips tightened into a thin, unimpressed line. “Yes, because knowing that makes me feel so much better, Sasuke.” His kin’s name pressed out a little differently than the rest of his words; clear to show his disapproval and annoyance.





“Actually it should. I was planning to do that if you were really good in bed. You know, get as much out of you as I could.”





“God you’re horrible you know that.”





“No not really,” Sasuke disagreed, protesting the notion with a simple shrug of his shoulders before picking up Itachi’s java and finishing off the contents. “I just like getting what I want—and you’re what I want. Besides, I’m an Uchiha. It’s in my blood to be a self-conceded, scheming asshole. It’s in yours too, if you would stop being such an uptight bitch about everything and just go with the flow.”





“I’m not an uptight bitch, and I already told you that my choices have nothing to do with that.”





“Really, then what’s holding you back Itachi? Why are we sitting here talking about sleeping with each other when we could actually be sleeping with each other?”





Itachi let out another exasperated sigh. Sasuke wasn’t giving up and this was not how, nor where, he wanted to have this kind of conversation. Even if there weren’t a lot of people around, it just wasn’t appropriate. Itachi knew his reaction was a response bred into him via his upbringing, but it couldn’t be helped. He’d spent his whole life doing the right thing—a notion clarified in standards set by other people—so he had a hard time convincing himself that he needed to stop now.





Of course looking at the situation from that aspect, Itachi knew that Sasuke was right. He did need to do something for himself; he needed to do something that would make him happy. The only problem was, Itachi wasn’t one-hundred percent sure that sleeping with brother would give him that. So what if they had connected on some level at the club? So what if Sasuke on top of him, grinding down against him, whispering dirty things in his ear, had felt amazing—had felt better than when he was with Konan? Even with all that pleasure and emotion there, he still felt doubt, uncertainly; perplexity. And then what would happen if he did sleep with Sasuke? It wasn’t like it was going to change anything. He was still going to have all this: all these books to study, classes to take and stress to drown himself in.





No, he needed more time. He needed to sort everything out in his head first. He needed to know that he really wanted to be with Sasuke, and that the whole confrontation wasn’t just him jumping at the first exit sign to get off the dismal road he’d been traveling on, for god knew how long.





It was those exact same thoughts that had hit him on his way back to the club two weeks ago—the very reason he’d finally ended up at Konan’s place instead, trying to reconcile a relationship that at least met the approval of his mother and father.





“I just need more time.” He explained, taking a deep breath and leaning back in his chair. He already felt overwhelmed and Sasuke was just making the situation worse. His little brother needed to understand where he was coming from. That he couldn’t be carefree and indulge in whatever he wanted. There was a cost—always a price for him—and that left him little room for his own aspirations. “I can’t sleep with you just because you want to have sex with me. That’s not how things should work Sasuke.”





“Oh?” the other poised, suddenly a little less pissy and a lot more intrigued. Itachi’s words had caught his attention and he couldn’t help but let his curiosity take flight at such an open ended statement. “Then what are you saying? Do you want to have a relationship with me, Tach? Take me out and have me wear your ring or some shit like that?”





The elder opened his mouth and then closed it sharply. That hadn’t been what he was trying to covey at all, but his brother had clearly misconstrued—that or Sasuke was being a smart ass. With his brother he never knew for certain.





“No, I don’t mean anything of the sort. A relationship between us would never work. I just… I don’t want to make the wrong choice and regret it later. Clearly there’s some sort of chemistry between us, but that doesn’t mean that it belongs there or that it should be pursued. I want to make sure if I do this, it’s for the right reasons.”





Sasuke hummed absently at those words and looked down at the empty coffee cup in front of him; flicking the thing so that it rotated slightly. He didn’t know why Itachi had to be so difficult. He should have just gone to the club and said that in the first place. Then again, the younger raven knew he probably would have pushed Itachi for instant results. He was never good at waiting—or rather, he had already been waiting too long for this to happen and his patience was dwindling. “Well how long is that going to take?” he finally asked. Despite his loathing disposition towards the proposal, he could give Itachi a little more time as long as the answer was ultimately yes.  





“For what?”





“For you to sort shit out? I mean you’re telling me maybe right now, but I want to know how long before you say yes.”





“You’re assuming I’ll say yes Otouto.”





“Well I’m not going to accept no for an answer,” Sasuke scoffed, black eyes glancing up as he looked his brother over.  Itachi really was beautiful. Even when he looked like a tragic, disheveled mess, Sasuke still wanted to push him down and fuck him, wanted to run his hands all over that smooth skin, wanted to stick his dick up Itachi’s tight ass and see how many times he could get him to cum. He couldn’t help but get turned on just by thinking about it. “We both know what you want; you’re just not willing to admit it to yourself. Not yet anyway.” Removing his hands from the cup, Sasuke pushed up out of the chair and rose to his feet.  “I’ll give you until next Friday. That’s more than enough time. After that… if you still can’t decide, we’ll play by my rules. And as a head’s up, I play dirty.”





Itachi put a hand to his temple in frustration; not pleased with the way his brother wanted to handle the situation. You couldn’t just put a time limit of these kinds of things. Of course given the chance, he probably would have prolonged the decision past what was actually needed. But that didn’t give Sasuke any right to shorten it.





Noting the faint shuffling of his brother’s feet, Itachi wasn’t surprised when Sasuke moved closer to him, but when frail fingers caught his hair and yanked his head back; he was nothing short of bewildered and annoyed. “Sasu—” he started, but soft lips were already against his threshold, his brother’s tongue quickly sliding inside his mouth at the fortuned opportunity.





Part of Itachi wanted to push his brother away, but those actions seemed to diminish the longer he hesitated. Sasuke tasted just as sweet as he had the night before; the undertones of stratified flavors playing against his mind, the moment carrying him away. Itachi knew shouldn’t have, but he started kissing back; his tongue sliding against Sasuke’s, moving against the muscle as he invaded the younger man’s mouth. It felt so good—so right. Granted that his mind could rationalize that he didn’t need to be doing this—but the moment his brother touched him, all that resolve simply faded away.





“Keep that in mind when you’re considering your options,” Sasuke smirked when their lips finally parted; the essence of sweet air filling Itachi’s lungs though it seem lackluster in contrast to what he’d just been tasting. The feelings he’d been lacking with Pein were overly present again, that sensation of richness and the desire to taste that sweetness again, overwhelming though he gave no actual indication of it.





“Yeah…” was all Itachi mustered instead as he watched Sasuke turn around and head out of the coffee shop. Once he was sure his brother was gone, his head found the domain of his hands and he buried his face against the palms. What the fuck was he doing? He clearly felt some something with Sasuke, but these feelings weren't necessarily right—these feelings didn’t replicate anything close to the brotherly affection the two of them were supposed to share.

 

...





Itachi let out a soft sigh as he lingered outside the coffee shop. It was once again Tuesday evening and he was in the familiar location at the appointed time. Today however –unlike any other day before– he didn’t really feel like going inside, sitting down and wasting his life away on something that wasn’t his dream. Maybe it was the conversation that he’d had with Sasuke four days earlier and the events that had transpired with it, but Itachi couldn’t shake the feeling away. This little hole in the wall coffee shop wasn’t going to save him and he could no longer pretend that it was.





The raven’s shoulders slumped and his school bag slid down, nearly falling from his shoulder. In the darkening moment he couldn’t help but remember the feeling of Sasuke’s lips on his own, of those words that had encouraged him to take something for himself. Itachi knew he wanted to do that too—that he wanted to indulge in what he had with Sasuke, and forget about everything else except those feelings that seemed so real against a world that habitually mimicked pain.





Still, he hadn’t told his brother that and he wasn’t sure it was in his best interest to do so. Granted that he’d sorted things out in his head a little more, but the notion of ‘what if’ ceased to linger. After all, what if he did those unethical things with his own kin and then could no longer go back to the way it was? If just a kiss from Sasuke made him feel more alive, made him feel connected; made him want to throw everything to the wind, what would the rest of the motions feel like? Would they drown him? Would they consume him? Was that one moment of indulgence worth it? Itachi wasn’t sure he had the answers, and he wasn’t given the time to further muse over them either, as the cell phone in his pocket went off. It was both ironic and fitting that [i]she[/i] had picked now of all times to call him.





Pulling the mobile device from his left coat pocket, Itachi killed Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony and pressed the receiver to his ear. “Yes Konan,” he greeted, forcing emotion into the notes so that it didn’t reflect as the nothingness it really stood for. A tragic thought filled Itachi’s mind and his heart sank deeper. Was this really how he was going to live the rest of his life? Was he going to fake every emotion, every word, every moment just because his family wanted it?





Despite the fact that he hadn’t wanted to get back together with Konan, Fugaku had been more than displeased when he’d finally gone home two weeks ago and showed up empty handed. Itachi could still recall the way his face burned when his father hit him and the cold, disapproved words that had come with it. He was told how ungrateful he was, what a disappointment and disgrace he’d become. Then he was further informed on how unacceptable his actions were, and should they ever transpire again, that he would be disowned.





Itachi knew he was smart; that he had a half-way decent education and worked a job that few people would ever acquire without a long history of references. The problem was that he was employed by his father, and because it was a family owned business, things were done a little differently than most. He wasn’t allotted a paycheck and his father made it perfectly clear that he wouldn’t receive his owed dues until he graduated college. Itachi knew it was just another way to lock him in place. His father was a smart man. Fugaku didn’t have to beat him into submission. All he had to do was corner him and let life play out its course. Itachi had nothing and he knew it. To leave family would literally be to lose everything and then where would he go?





“Itachi are you listening?”





The voice in the receiver vibrated through his ear and Itachi hummed, realizing that Konan had probably been talking for a while, but that he hadn’t heard a word of it. “I’m sorry, someone on the street was talking to me,” he lied, not really feeling bad about the dishonestly. “Could you repeat that last part?”





“I said I just got done talking with your father and I have the most wonderful news to share with you.”





“Oh really?” Itachi spoke, feigning interest for something that it wasn’t. In actuality he was a bit apprehensive to hear what Konan had to say. The mirth in her tone seemed so prominent now, much more than normal, and he couldn’t discredit the trepidation that it brought. Maybe they had set a wedding date? But that seemed more along the lines of Mikoto’s work than his father’s.





“Yep, we’re getting an apartment together!”





Itachi’s heart hit rock bottom and he swallowed heavily, unable to mask the simple word that came out of his mouth with utter disbelief. “What?”





“What do you mean ‘what’?” Konan rebuked disgruntled.





In the back of Itachi’s mind he realized his tone wasn’t appropriate for the given news and quickly attempted to rephrase. “I’m just surprised…” And he was on so many levels. He’d been practically forced into the engagement, and now ten days later his father was letting them move in together. It seemed so fitting in some ways, but odd in others. Fugaku was a man of control and precision. This was clearly a calculated move that Itachi hadn’t been expecting to transpire so soon.





“But you’re happy right?” Konan pressed.





“Well yes, of course…” It was another lie and Itachi realized how much of it he was doing. Maybe in the past he’d at least liked Konan, but that was before he’d shared those moments with Sasuke. He knew for certain that there was no longer anything between himself and the woman he was supposed to marry.





“Good because I’ve already found the perfect place for us to live. We sign the lease tomorrow afternoon. Your dad already said you can take time off of work for it. Meet me at my place around one, okay?”





“Yeah,” Itachi managed before he hung up. He felt sick. He needed to… well, he didn’t know what he needed to do anymore, but it couldn’t be this.  





Stepping away from the coffee shop he turned around and started off down the street. He didn’t have a clear destination in mind, he just needed to think, to let his mind wander and find clarity about all the things that needed to happen. He’d need a place to stay, he’d need a job, and he’d have to drop out of school for a while. Maybe Pein would let him stay with him for a couple days. He hated to ask –he knew that the redhead lived in a tiny one bedroom apartment with Naruto and that there wasn’t much room– but Pein was the only person he could turn to; the only one who wouldn’t drop his ass the moment he was disowned. Of course he still had the situation with Sasuke to deal with as well.





“Hey Itachi!”





Being so distracted the sudden hand on his shoulder –and then sound of his name being called from behind– made the raven instantly tense; both surprise and relief washing over him when the figure moved into his line of vision, and he realized it was Pein. The man was wearing a pair of tight leather pants that were awkwardly matched with a stained white tee shirt. His hair was a bit more disheveled than normal, and more than half his piercings were out. It clearly wasn’t a work day for Pein, and since he was running so late, it could only mean Naruto had distracted him on his way out.  





“You know I was just thinking about you.”





“All dirty thoughts I would hope,” Pein smirked, but he was quick to take note of Itachi’s serious expression and the fact that his friend was walking away from the coffee shop, not going inside to study. “Hey is everything okay? Why are you leaving?”





“I…” the words hung on Itachi’s lips for a minute before he forced himself to say them. “I can’t do this anymore…” It was odd how liberating those simple words were. It was as if the weight on his chest had finally been lifted and he could breath for the first time.





Pein looked confused for a moment before he realized what was being implied when Itachi made the reference to: [i]this[/i]. “Are you serious?”





“Yeah but I need to go home and get a few things. I was wondering if I could stay with you for a couple days. Just until I figured something out. I know you don’t have—”





“No, it’s fine; you can stay as long as you want.” The redhead interjected. “Naruto won’t mind. I’m just glad you’re finally leaving this shit behind you. How does Sasuke feel about it?”





“I haven’t told him yet.”





“Are you going to?”





“He’ll know when I’m not at home tomorrow morning.”





Pein hummed at that and wondered if the pair had slept together yet. He figured not, because Itachi seemed way too uptight to have gotten laid. “You should probably tell him before,” Pein suggested, but the raven simple shook his head in the negative.





“Dealing with Sasuke is the last thing that I need to be concerned about at the moment. I have arrangement to speak to him Friday anyway.” Well, they weren’t really arrangements, but one way or another he was sure that Sasuke would hunt him down for the answer. “If you’re not doing anything, why don’t you come over to my house and help me pack.”





Pein quirked a brow at that and wondered if Itachi was being serious. He’d known the man for quite a while now, and never been invited over to his house before. “Aren’t you worried you old man will see you hanging out with someone like me and freak out?”





“He works until nine and mother has a flower arranging class until eight-thirty, that should give us plenty of time to slip inside and grab a few things.”





“Well then yeah, I’m down if that’s what you want?”





“It is.” And for once in his life it really was what Itachi wanted. Granted it would cost a lot to leave it all behind, but the raven was slowly realizing that some things were worth letting go of.





~TBC