Iruka's Shopping Adventure, 'Tis the Season

A/N: Here's hoping that your holiday shopping goes better then Naruto's ;) *hugs Fairy Niamh* Thank you for the beta job sis! <3

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Lounging in the hot water in one of the onsen's semi-private rooms felt wonderful. Iruka sighed and sunk just a little lower. He had a nasty bruise on his lower back from falling on the ice the day before. 'I wonder how Naruto is?' he thought to himself before realizing just how stupid that was.



Of course the blond was alright. He'd healed overnight from wounds far more serious than that. The door opened on the other side of the screen warning Iruka that he might soon have company. There were two pools in this room, so it was possible that the other guests might go to that side. Iruka hoped that was the case. He was enjoying having this one to himself.



"Hey! Look! If it isn't Iruka-kun," Genma smirked down at him while he groaned internally. 'Please don't let Kakashi be with him...' Iruka almost whimpered audibly when the masked man rounded the screen with a twinkle in his eye. Raidou followed him and actually gave Iruka a very obvious 'I'm sorry about this,' look. Somehow Iruka knew there was a reason for that look and wondered if it would be in extremely bad taste if he used jutsu to escape the situation.



Genma splashed down next to him and gripped his shoulder exterminating any possibility of that escape route. "So... how's your Christmas going Iru-kun?"



"It's not Christmas yet."



"Nope, not yet. But..." Genma sent a conspiratorial wink in Kakashi's direction. "We heard that you and Naru-kun had a lot of fun shopping the other day."



Kakashi coughed in the fakest way possible and Iruka didn't bother to hide the groan. "Yes, it seems our favorite whirlwind ninja managed to get you banned from half the shopping district."



"That is NOT true!" Iruka reacted without thinking. He almost stood up right out of the water, all three men definitely took advantage of the opportunity to ogle the other man's slender well toned body. "We were banned from one store, and ONE STORE only," he said firmly as he resumed his seat.



"Oh.. okay then... so just how did you get banned?" Genma prodded.



"Gen, give it a rest." Raidou bit his lip, very uncomfortable with his lover's nosiness. All he got in return was a tongue sticking out at him mockingly.



Iruka's eyes rolled up into the back of his head. "I really can't see where any of this is any of your business."



That said, he promptly stood up, and exited the room and then the onsen.



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Iruka was surprised when the door opened on the second knock. Naruto grinned at him as he held the door open. “Hey, you’re early,” was all the blond said.



The young man’s black T-shirt said more. Iruka blushed as he read the large white print. ‘All I learned in this life I learned from Porn.' The sensei shook his head as he brushed passed his friend and stepped into the apartment. “You know that’s not true, don’t you?”



“Yeah it is. We said one o’clock and it’s only twelve thirty,” Naruto was confused.



Iruka shook his head and smiled. “The shirt, Naruto, the shirt.”



That shaggy blond head tilted to one side like a dog listening to a high pitched sound. His brow knitted together as he tried to decipher what the heck the older man meant.



“What shirt?” Iruka’s face fell into one of his hands and he tried very hard not to giggle at the adorable baka.



“Hey! You don’t get to laugh until you answer. Them’s the rules,” Naruto teased and gently pulled Iruka’s hand down. He loved Iruka’s smiling face, it was a shame to cover something so wonderful. The brunette bit his lip and tugged at Naruto’s T-shirt. He gave his scruffy friend a wry look.



Naruto looked down and laughed out loud. “Well, if it came from Kakashi or Jiraiya you can bet it’s the truth.”



“So you learned nothing from me?” Iruka pouted playfully. Naruto brought out his playful side and he loved the blond for it.



A tan palm smacked an equally tanned forehead. “Hold on a minute.” He ordered then ran to his computer desk. His back was to Iruka, so the teacher couldn’t see what he was doing. A few moments later, he spun around and posed proudly. Thanks to a red permanent marker, the T-shirt now read: ‘All I learned in this life I learned from Porn and IRUKA!!,’ Somehow the combination just seemed wrong. Iruka immediately regretted having said anything at all.



“You are not allowed to wear that in public. You know that right?!” There was a very thinly veiled threat in his tone and Naruto couldn’t help but laugh. Iruka shook his head. “So, where are we going today?” He asked in an attempt to change the subject.



“Here.”



“What?”



“We are going shopping here.”



“Naruto, you aren’t making any sense.”



The blond stepped out from in front of his computer and waited. “Oh hell NO!” Iruka’s face went from bronze to scarlet in an instant.



“Oh, come on!” Naruto ran to intercept the brunette as he tried to flee. He wrapped his strong hands around Iruka’s toned biceps. “Let’s just have some fun with it okay? We’ll stay in my nice warm apartment; eat ramen, talk, and surf the web to see what’s out there.” Iruka shook his head. Naruto completed his sales pitch with a guarantee. “I promise I won’t buy a single inappropriate gift today.”



Iruka bit the inside of his lip as he debated the evils of staying there against the evils of going out in public with his walking disaster of a friend.



“Mmmm… we’ll try it, but if it isn’t working we do it my way. Got that?” The blue eyes twinkled with happiness. He got to have his Iruka all to himself for an entire day. Naruto nodded as he led a slightly resistant Iruka to the computer.



“Sit here. I’ll get you some of that sweet flavored tea you like so much.” The blond practically bounced into the kitchen. Iruka had a bad feeling about this.



When his ‘shopping’ companion returned, Iruka asked. “Okay, where’s your list?”



Naruto gave him a sheepish look. “Um… I kinda lost it.”



“Naruto, we just made that list last week,” Iruka huffed.



“Yeah, I know... but I lost it when we went shopping.” The silly thing had disappeared somewhere between the ‘panty’ store and the coffee shop during their last adventure.



“Do you even know who you already have gifts for?”



The blond blushed. “You.”



“And?”



“Just you.”



Iruka had to look away then. He was the only one that Naruto had bought anything for. His face flushed with a pleasurable warmth at the mere thought until a horrifying possibility crept into his consciousness. “Naruto?”



The blond was watching him out of the corner of his eye, unsure how to act. “Yeah?”



“Did you buy it on line?”



“Not tellin’.” He was not going to tell Iruka where that gift had come from, not ever.



Iruka’s head fell into his hand again. “If it runs on batteries, vibrates, has lace, or leather straps… I WILL KILL YOU.”



Naruto fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard.



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“I’m not so sure about this…” Naruto bit his lip in trepidation. “Isn’t perfume kinda like a ‘personal’ gift??”



Iruka looked away from the screen in shocked amusement. “You wanted to buy her ‘personal massager’ and you’re worried that buying Sakura a bottle of perfume is ‘too personal’??!!



“Oh come on! You know what a rag she is. I was only trying to offer a solution to her ‘problem’. I mean if she’d just come out and admit that she’s a total dike and stop chasing men that she knows won’t touch her, then maybe she’d get a little relief and wouldn’t be such a hag.”



“Naruto!”



“Well it’s true!”



Iruka shook his head. “Unless you want to keep looking….”



“Okay! Perfume it is!” Naruto cried out in desperation. Sometimes Iruka was down right evil. “So, should I buy the same fragrance for Ino, and Hinata, and Shizune, and Temari, and all the other vaginas… I mean females.”



Iruka coughed at the ‘vagina’ comment, but let it go. The younger man was obviously distraught at the thought of looking at more feminine gifts. “Maybe we should take a little break then we can continue. I think perfume would be fine for Ino and Hinata. Temari would probably like something with a little more bite; Kunai or something else.”



Naruto nodded, that one actually made sense. Iruka continued, encouraged by the blond’s agreement. “Shizune, well we’ll look into some diplomacy scrolls or something like that.”



“Oh thank Kami! A break!” Naruto leaned back in his chair and stretched so far he that he almost fell out of his chair. He scratched his toned chiseled stomach and contemplated just what he could do to distract Iruka from plunging back into this shopping nightmare.



“So, you hungry?” The blond asked idly.



Iruka just sort of hummed his response as his lovely brown eyes were locked on the little hint of dark golden curls leading from the tanned belly button down beneath the black and orange lounge pants. He licked his lips salivating more than just a little bit. He recovered just as Naruto turned to look at him. He wasn’t quite fast enough; a sweet blush tinged his caramel skin highlighting the scar that ran across the bridge of his nose. Naruto loved that, he just loved the way Iruka’s blushes accented the other man’s most unique feature. That scar was anything but a blemish, rather than being disfiguring the mark accented Iruka’s fine features and beautiful complexion.



A simple plate of meats and cheeses made a good snack for the two before Iruka settled himself in front of the computer for the second round.



“Iruka, let’s have some fun before we go back to shopping."



The older man’s mind had been constantly returning to lascivious thoughts concerning the pretty blond ‘happy trail’ he’d spied earlier, so he was a little taken aback by the younger man’s suggestion. His voice only squeaked a little bit as he asked. “Wha… What did you have in mind?”



Naruto chuckled at what he mistook for a different brand of trepidation. He leaned across Iruka, taking control of the mouse. “Trust me, just leave it to me.”



The close proximity of their bodies ignited Iruka’s blood in a way he was wholly unprepared for. “Leave what to you??” He sounded a little out of breath and Naruto chuckled.



“I promise, we’ll just pretend okay.” Iruka’s heart skipped more than one beat.



Naruto clicked onto his ‘favorites’ and went to his favorite ‘store’. “Okay, if you were going to buy ‘these’ kinds of things for other people… what would you buy?” Iruka had to re-focus his eyes and his mind before he understood what the blond meant. “Just pretend Iruka... and tell me what you’d get for who.”



“Why?”



“Because it’s fun.” Iruka felt like a landed fish. His mind had gone to a very naughty place and now the cause of it all wanted him to pretend to buy naughty toys for other people??!! It was laughable, so he laughed long and hard using the time to gain control of other parts of himself.



“Okay, but only for a bit. Who do we start with?” Sometimes it really was just easier to go along with Naruto. He had to admit, ‘it’s never dull around him...’



“Um… Genma.”



Iruka shook his head at the choice. “Okay.” He sighed, then they dove into the seedy and very humorous world of adult sexual aides.



Three hours later, in their imaginary shopping cart they had penis shaped lollipops for Genma that could double as dildos. There was also a hand held penis pump for Yamato, a special massaging shower gel mitt for Shikamaru so that he would not need to extend any extra effort in the act or in the clean up, a bondage kit for Shino and his very rambunctious lover Kiba, and a hand shaped soap on a rope for Kotetsu along with a bottle of water resistant lubricant for Izumo. A special red pillow designed with a hidden compartment to hide a pretty new vibrator for the closet perv Ebisu had been one of their first picks. Naruto had insisted on the ball gag for Tsunade to shut up her nagging assistant even against Iruka's blushing disapproval. For Kakashi, Naruto had picked out a penis enhancer specially designed to 'increase girth and help maintain rigidity'. That joke kind of backfired when Iruka asked just how Naruto would know that Kakashi needed something like that. The blond had quickly found an excuse to leave the room.



Iruka watched in amusement as the blond bustled around the kitchen preparing the ramen recipe he had somehow convinced Ayame to give him. What Iruka didn't know was that Naruto had gotten that recipe from the woman two months ago and he'd finally had to tell her why he wanted it. Only when he told her that he wanted to cook a special meal for Iruka had she given in and secretly taught the blond how to cook this special meal. Now, every time he ate at Ichiraku Ayame would pester him about Iruka. Apparently his interest had been apparent, even before he admitted it to the young woman and she had been secretly cheering him on. 'It's so sweet the way you always peek at him out of the corner of your eyes while he's slurping his ramen.' Naruto hadn't even known that he'd been doing that.



"Here, try this." Naruto had set the table just as Ayame had instructed, he dipped his chopsticks into the tasty meal and held a decent bite up before Iruka's plump lips and licking his own without shame. Iruka didn't hesitate, his lips parted and he closed his eyes in anticipation. It smelled wonderful.



"Mmmmm," Iruka chewed in orgasmic bliss. "Oh Kami!" he cried out after swallowing the delicious morsel. Naruto couldn't even move, he could barely breathe; this was the closest he'd ever been his dream of taking Iruka to joukai, sweet heaven.



Iruka opened his eyes and they glowed. "That. Was. Amazing."



Iruka looked so beautiful. Naruto couldn't stop himself, he leaned forward and pressed his own full lips to Iruka's soft plump mouth. That mouth opened in surprise not quite as wide as those dark chocolate eyes and Naruto's hot tongue slipped in to taste what had made Iruka so happy. Naruto was instantly beyond himself with joy. Iruka's mouth was explored and plundered in a way he'd never experienced before. Naruto's joy quickly became want, then need, until it became lust. Iruka was infused with Naruto's warmth and his own wants and needs bubbled to the surface. His hands rose up to grip the wild blond hair. A strong tan hand wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling him deeper into the passionate kiss.



Both men in an attempt to get closer to the object of his desire tried to climb across the table in between them. This upset the small piece of furniture and sent bowls of ramen through the air. The men parted for a moment, but it was only for a hair's breathe of and instant and Naruto re-captured his ultimate desire. Iruka put up no resistance. They were soon lying on the floor with bits of ramen all around them. Iruka was pinned beneath Naruto's muscled bulk and it felt good to have that strong hard body weighting him down. His arms came up around Naruto's shoulders. His body moved on it's own, his back arching up against the firm young one above him seeking more heat more... everything.



Naruto was slipping into complete insanity, something akin to an animalistic kind of rut.



And that is when reality crashed in.



"Naruto? You feeling okay??" Iruka's head was cocked to the side as he gazed worriedly at his young friend. That's when Naruto realized his penchant for fantasizing had once again gotten out of hand. 'Okay, this isn't embarrassing at all...' he thought as he scooted closer to the table to better hide his erection. He assured Iruka that he was fine, just a little tired and quickly directed the conversation elsewhere while willing his body and desire to cool.



`tbc`