Break to Breathe

 

BREAK TO BREATHE

by Okami Rayne

Chapter Two

"What the hell a—!" Neji's words died in a clash of teeth. Shikamaru's mouth swallowed his protest; evaporating it in a kiss that was hard, hot and hostile.

Neji froze - his growl locking instantly in his throat.

He collided into the stone wall of shock. Stunned and silenced. A slick tongue slid across his teeth, catching rain and blood. He felt Shikamaru bite down on his lower swell of lip, snaring it, bruising it. The Nara's fingers tightened at his jaw, but the utter disbelief rendered Neji immobile.

He couldn't even draw air into his lungs.

For Shikamaru's part, there wasn't any logic playing out in this. This wasn't about having a plan. He had no idea what the hell it was about, only that his knee was pressing between the Hyūga's pinned legs and Neji was still frozen, unresponsive.

Shit.

After a harsh pinch of teeth to Neji's lip, Shikamaru drew back. His dark eyes settled on the white ones staring back at him, shifting between shock and something Shikamaru couldn't place.

A taut silence strained between them, broken only by their ragged breaths and the splatter of rain. Shikamaru felt a backlash of shock whip through him, jolting his head back as if he'd taken a hit.

What the fuck did I just do?

Just when Shikamaru thought to move, the Hyūga spoke first.

"What the hell was that?" Neji finally growled, but his eyes weren't angry.

"I don't know…" Shikamaru shrugged. "But it shut you up, didn't it?"

Neji swallowed, frowned, then jerked his head back and snarled. "Don't touch me."

Now those eyes were angry.

Good. A logical reaction. He could follow logic. Not that his logic could supply an answer for whatever the hell had just crashed through his veins like a voltage. Shikamaru managed a weak, uncertain smile, honestly too confused to offer anything else that wouldn't result in the urge to run far, far away from this moment.

"Guess you're still thinking too much," he murmured, not sure who he was addressing, Neji or himself.

"You're not thinking at all if you believe I will allow you to do that again."

Shikamaru arched a brow, his own pride, which he normally paid little heed to, rising like hackles."Afraid of someone taking away that control? Man, you're such a fucking effort. But it's not like you're putting up much of a fight."

"So now it's a fight you want?" Neji released a bitter sound, his breath misting on the cold air. "You've clearly chased me down looking for pain."

"Considering you're acting like a royal pain in the ass, I guess that's right." Shikamaru blinked slowly, his voice quietening. "But I know you don't really wanna fight me."

"Keep digging your grave, Nara. I'll put you in it before you can regret it."

Shikamaru marked the tension drawing across Neji's temples – a sure sign that the Hyūga was close to carrying out his threat. The Byakugan all but stirred beneath the surface, even if Neji appeared to be reluctant to use it.

Shikamaru almost wanted to tell him to go ahead.

Hell, he might have even given Neji his express permission to knock his head into the tree again in the hopes that it would rattle his brain into functioning normally.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Shikamaru shook his head. "Despite how this appears, I'm not trying to provoke you, you know."

Neji's eyes dropped to the wires and kunai. "Then what the hell do you call this?"

Shikamaru dodged the question. "I know you don't really wanna fight."

"Tch!" Neji's fists clenched, fabric tearing as he pulled against the restraints.

"You're not even using the Byakugan."

"Well observed, Nara," Neji snapped, twisting his jaw free from the lighter grip of Shikamaru's fingers. "Glad to see your renowned intelligence hasn't completely abandoned you."

Don't bet on it.

"Why aren't you playing to your strength?"

"As far as intelligence goes, why aren't you?" Neji bit back.

Shikamaru ignored the jibe. "You could have stopped this before it began. Why didn't you?"

Neji hesitated. "Just back off before I really do hurt you."

Shikamaru's eyes pinched at the threat.

He should have moved.

But something had set itself firmly in his mind, taking the place of his common sense – maybe his 'sense' altogether. He had no idea what the hell it was. But he knew that it wasn't smart. Or safe. Or remotely sane. It felt like an obstinate, irritating, way too troublesome impulse that he couldn't shake. It probably would have looked like Naruto if it had form – screaming all sorts of idiotic direction that would only make this mess more of a disaster than it already was.

The thought caused him to smile grimly.

"You think I'm being funny?" Neji's entire frame drew taut, dangerously so.

"No." Shikamaru laughed a little, not doubting the Hyūga for a second. "Not one bit."

"Then back off."

"I can't." Shikamaru shook his head, raising a hand to settle at the junction of Neji's neck and shoulder. "Not until you settle down."

"Make up your mind fast, Nara." Neji attempted to shrug off the offensive touch, his eyes narrowed. "I thought you didn't want to fight."

"No kidding." Shikamaru tightened his grip, not sure whether he wanted to hurt or help the Hyūga right now – given the recklessness rolling just beneath the surface of his lazy façade.

I don't do reckless. I don't do stupid.

And yet here he was, doing this.

Shaking off the thought he grit his next words out, frowning. "Gonna make this easier and get whatever's pissed you off, off your chest?"

"Just shut up with this nonsense already!" Neji jerked his shoulder, the wires cutting into his biceps as he tugged against the restraints.

Shikamaru heaved a ragged sigh. "Man, you're gonna give me a fucking nosebleed, Hyūga."

"I'll give you more than a nosebleed you intrusive bastard!"

Oh you want intrusive? I'll give you intrusive.

"I'm gonna count to three." Shikamaru held up three fingers for emphasis before closing his fist. "Then I'm going to do something as stupid as what you're doing by being a troublesome idiot."

The look of disgusted incredulity on Neji's face would have been amusing, had the context not been so hostile.

"Don't you dare play games with me, Nara."

Shikamaru flicked a finger up; the middle one at that. "One. Not a game."

"This is pathetic."

Shikamaru smirked and oh-so-slowly extended his index. "Two. Probably."

Not appreciating being flipped off, the Hyūga's expression twisted angrily. "What gives you the right to dictate to me you bas—!"

"—Three." Shikamaru grabbed his jaw. "Shut up." Then he slanted his mouth across Neji's.

As expected, the pale-eyed ninja reacted this time.

Neji twisted his head sharply, dragging a hissing friction across their mouths. But Shikamaru's fingers remained at his jaw, hard and locked, as stupidly challenging as he'd promised. He turned Neji's head back, muffling the other ninja's growl with his mouth. He pushed dominance into the kiss and felt Neji retaliate.

I'm dead for this.

Shikamaru's mind barely managed to supply the fatal realisation. It sure as hell wasn't operating on a level Shikamaru had experienced before. The sense of being caught in the grip of something he couldn't shake. It dug its claws into him, raked heat through him. Tore up his thoughts into shreds until strategy was the last thing firing along his synapses.

Fuck. Push me back.

---

The kiss was carnal from the first.

Neji, never having been on the receiving end of any attempt at dominance, momentarily lost his ability to respond to it other than to bare his teeth through the kiss.

And then the urge to fight reared up inside him.

His pride pulled to the surface in an immediate defence.

Neji fought back as much as his position granted. He threw his pinned weight forward and the rigged wires sliced through his robes, lacerating his skin as he tried to dislodge himself. Shikamaru slammed him back and slid his fingers into the long, wet ink of the Hyūga's hair, gripping and tugging as if jerking the reigns of an unruly horse.

The tug on Neji's scalp tightened his skin into a heated crawl.

A dark, hot sensation shot through him like he'd been punched in the gut by a burning fist. Only that fist of heat lodged there, gripped him mercilessly and began to smoulder, burning hotter with every second.

Different to rage, but close enough that he could pretend that's what it was.

I am going to kill him.

The promise of that thought held, hardened, then quivered under the force of the heat that began to infiltrate this icy defence. The hard, hostile force of the kiss seared through his blood. He tried to twist his jaw free from Shikamaru's grip, tried to bite off that tongue arrogantly pushing past his teeth, only to find that the molten muscle marking out his mouth was causing his mind to loosen its immaculate grip on his control and his anger.

Something else was wrestling inside him.

And then an aching pain in his chest began to tighten.

Stop…

Neji's blunt nails dug into the bark of the tree, drawing blood from his fingertips. He pressed his head back, taking the brunt of the kiss with a sharp inhale that had rainwater clogging his lungs.

The pain in his chest was getting sharper.

But Shikamaru offered no mercy and Neji's preconceived notion of the other ninja's lackadaisical and passionless nature was immediately obliterated.

And then so was the kiss.

---

Their mouths tore apart on a ragged pant.

It left them both gasping, dragging in damp, heavy air.

"Whatever the hell it is, just let it out," Shikamaru growled, leaning in to nudge their mouths. "Let it out, Neji."

"No."

Instinctively, Shikamaru gave a savage jerk to Neji's hair. "Let it out, you stubborn bastard!"

"No!" Neji snapped, a tortured rage crawling into his eyes. His voice dropped to a warning. "If you push me again, I will not hold back."

He means it this time.

Shikamaru's fingers released their brutal clutch, smoothing through the dark strands slowly to settle at Neji's nape. The Nara sighed, his previous anger evaporating. He had no idea where that reactive ferocity had come from. It alarmed him in ways wholly disturbing to his nature.

What the hell am I doing…?

"Switching tactics so soon?" Neji seethed, feeling the vicious saw of the wires cutting into his skin, focusing on the bitter sting rather than the odd sense of breathlessness that wouldn't go away. "I won't let you manipulate me with this."

Shikamaru clenched his eyes shut, struggling to think clearly. "I'm not trying to manipulate you."

"A juvenile manipulation at that…" Neji snorted, blinking rain from his lashes as he kept his head pressed back against the tree, his eyes undoubtedly angry, but also confused.

"Juvenile? My mouth?" Shikamaru smiled slightly, but it was weak. "Way to hit a guy's pride, Hyūga. Either way, it seemed to work."

Neji's temples pulsed. "Don't mock me."

"God you're so uptight." Shikamaru opened his eyes and glanced down at the Hyūga's robes, drenched and stained with blood from the wires.

Shit.

He hadn't intended that.

He pulled Neji's hair away from his throat. "I'm not mocking or manipulating you."

"No, you're just molesting me," Neji retorted, but strangely, there was no real heat in it.

Shikamaru scowled, but he couldn't deny it. Or explain it. Or do anything but hover in this state of complete limbo where the impulse controlling his body wasn't coming from his sane sense of judgement or his sense of self-preservation.

"Yeah? Well you're letting me." Shikamaru reminded and his thumb grazed Neji's throat, brushing just under his jaw. "Why?"

Neji turned his head away from the oddly tender touch. His eyes averted angrily. "I don't know…why the hell are you kissing me in the first place? And touching me like this? Is this your idea of getting 'pissed off'?"

"No, this is my idea of being stupid. I told you." Shikamaru quirked his lip, grabbing humour with both hands – desperate to latch onto anything to alleviate the horrible confusion knotting up inside him at his own actions. "Thought I'd bring us onto even ground. Two geniuses being stupid together…guess it makes sense, right?"

Neji dragged in a rattling breath, swallowing hard. "Why are you doing this, Shikamaru?"

Shikamaru shrugged, pretending he wasn't asking himself the same question. "Don't ask me to figure this one out…I'm not sure I've got an answer."

"I'm not sure I want to know." Neji closed his eyes, his breathing shifting.

"Good." Shikamaru frowned.

This dangerous territory between them was volatile as hell. He hadn't intended to rock an already unsteady boat as far as Neji was concerned. He also hadn't intended for his brain to jump overboard into a sea of utter insanity. He'd tried to walk a plank and had ended up at the bottom of a deep end.

Yeah, a real smart move.

Shikamaru shook his head.

Whatever was unravelling or knotting itself into chaos between them seemed too much effort to figure out. More than that, it would require tenfold the effort to resolve once he actually stopped long enough to think about any of it.

Don't think.

"This isn't a thinking thing…" Shikamaru murmured aloud as he raised a hand, his wrist twisting as he gripped Neji's chin, forcing the Hyūga to look at him, needing some kind of joint closure to the awkwardness. "Is it?"

"Watch it." Neji jerked his head free, his eyes snapping open to lock on the dark ones staring back at him. His voice sounded oddly tight and quiet – strained. "Don't, Shikamaru." He paused to draw a rasping breath. "Don't play games."

"I'm not, dammit. I don't even have a clue as to what the hell I'm doing." Shikamaru sighed, his hand dropping away. He stared at the rain-slick hollow of Neji's throat, completely at a loss. But he didn't pull away. "Guess we're both out of character tonight…well I'll be damned…but at least you're not trying to kick my ass into a coma…"

Neji was silent.

The chords in his throat tense and unmoving.

Shikamaru frowned. "Hey. I'm done making this more complicated. You can stop holding your breath."

"I'm not," Neji choked out, hissing.

"Yeah you are." Shikamaru's expression began to colour with concern, his dark eyes shifting between Neji's chest and his locked throat. "What the hell, Neji? Breathe."

---

Breathe.

Neji would have smashed his fist into Shikamaru's jaw for stating an obvious instruction that was supposed to come naturally. But it wouldn't.

Ridiculous!

His mind began to scream orders that didn't translate to his chest.

Breathe!

But it was like trying to draw air through a tight-holed mesh. His lungs wouldn't expand, his chest seemed to be caving in on itself, tightening, constricting and crushing air he hadn't had the chance to snatch or hold.

I can't…

Then his brain halted in cold panic.

I can't breathe…

He clawed his fingers against the bark, feeling the bloody wire wrapped around him but knowing it wasn't the bonds restricting his breath. It a crushing weight in his chest, bearing down on his lungs.

"Neji?"

"I…" Neji choked out, not even noticing that Shikamaru was tugging the shuriken, wires and kunai free.

Panic was starting to push into his pale eyes.

Why…can't I breathe?

 

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