Fading Scars

This is an Alternate Universe fic set perhaps a day or two after Orochimaru’s retreat from Konoha. A lot of liberties were taken from that point on in terms of time-line. This is also a very angsty (especially Naruto) and sexually graphic fic--just the way we like it!

This was written as a one-on-one RP, so the point of view of the story will change, usually with every paragraph. Scenes will also change abruptly and large periods of time will pass with little notice, though I’ll try to give some warning at the beginning of the chapter.

***Warnings for some graphic material and a very overly excited Neji!***

Thoughts in Italics

Please read and enjoy!

Fading Scars
Chapter Twenty Six:

Neji lay in the bathtub, staring blindly at the ceiling. He had cleaned himself after the day's workout, had even started to find other reliefs before giving up. Now he was only soaking, ignoring the tension in his groin that seemed to gradually be spreading all through his body. He knew that when he got out, the room would be dark, Sasuke curled in his bed and probably already asleep.

Just like he had every day for the last three months.

Neji closed his eyes as his desire gave an almost painful throb, but he refused to grant himself any relief. Somehow, it felt like a defeat, giving in like that. It was driving him to distraction, and now that they had finally been made jounin, he couldn't let it go on.

Sasuke wandered back into the room he and Neji still shared--he had snuck out when Neji first entered the bath, having forgone dinner that night in favor of training and now in need of something to eat. He'd managed to find a large, overly ripe pear. As he slowly made his way through the fruit he glanced to the bathroom door, wondering how long Neji would take.

Things had been...strained between them lately. Or rather, for a while now. Several months earlier they had received word that Akatsuki might be on the move, and since then Sasuke had done everything to intensify his training. It had paid off--his position as one of Stone's strongest shinobi was pretty much secured, and had earned him special attention from Koshaku's father. But he still wasn't satisfied. And with all his attention focused on his unending struggle, he found himself with little energy to respond to any of Neji's advances come nightfall.

There were times, like now, when he regretted it. They didn't feel as close as they once had...and he didn't know how to deal with it.

Neji finally had to get out as he grew dangerously light-headed from the hot water. His skin was faintly pink as he toweled himself off--again, he hadn't bothered cooling the bath water. He pulled on a pair of long pants to sleep in, as with winter coming and frost already appearing on the ground come morning, it grew very chilly at night.

When he slipped back into the main room, he was vaguely surprised to find Sasuke still awake, but he made no comment. Neji nodded slightly as he moved to his bed.

Sasuke watched him as he continued to nibble at his fruit--as hungry as he'd been before, he wasn't finding it all that interesting now. "Have a nice bath?" he asked casually.

Neji shrugged. "No better than any other," he replied, ignoring another little throb that tried to remind him that his bath had been much less energetic than usual. He sat down and pulled his blanket casually into his lap before picking up his brush to get the daily tangles from his hair. "Are you going in?"

Sasuke glanced over. I'll just fall asleep in there. "Naw. I will in the morning." He took another bite of pear, pausing when some of the juice spilled over his chin. He licked it up.

He happened to glance up, but seeing him quickly turned away. Neji clutched his hairbrush tightly, using it to pull long curtains of hair over his face. Damnit, I know you're not teasing me, but.... He was starting to regret not taking care of himself in the bathtub.

"I talked to our Lord when he was visiting last week," Sasuke said. He paused to finish the last bite of his pear and stood, moving past Neji's bed to throw the core away. "He said we should come to the capitol sometime--they've been gathering information on curses and such that might help you."

His hand paused. Curses.... His eyes narrowed, and he brushed his fingers unconsciously across his uncovered forehead. Neji had studied some himself the last few years, but had made so little progress between helping develop new jutsu for Sasuke and Koshaku, training himself, taking on missions as both a chuunin and later a jounin.... It was almost as frustrating a subject to him as Sasuke was. Sighing, Neji resumed the practiced movements of his hand. "That's good to know," he replied. "It still tingles now and again, and it would be a relief to make it stop."

"Really?" Sasuke paused in front of Neji on his way back to his bed. "Does it hurt?" he asked, realizing that he hadn't expressed any concern over it in a long time. It's not that I don't feel bad for him. I just forget sometimes, with him always covering it up….

Neji shook his head. "Not really anymore." He continued to brush out his hair. They hadn't talked about curses for a long time, less and less often since Sasuke had lost his own.

Sasuke's eyes thinned slightly. Faced with him like this, he couldn't help but feel that Neji was being...cold to him. Purposefully avoiding his gaze. It made something in him curl stubbornly, and he reached out, his fingertips trailing over Neji's temple. "Do you want to go?"

His fingers curled, and Neji silently cursed himself for reacting to such a small touch. He turned just enough to see his companion, managing a faint smile. "If our Lord has worked so hard for my sake, of course I will."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed faintly when he felt Neji's subtle flinch. I guess it's been a while since we did anything. Maybe he doesn't want to anymore…? "All right. I'll let Tsuchikage know." He drew his hand down, testing, so that his thumb slid over Neji's bottom lip.

Neji's gaze turned hard, searching Sasuke's for a sign of his intentions. He couldn't help a lump of hope and--shameful as it was--lust rise in his stomach at the touch. Damnit, it's just going to be like before--we're not going to get far--and then it will be another three months before he lets me touch him again. But even knowing that wasn't enough to make him pull away, to reject the little that Sasuke might grant him. He tilted his head slightly into Sasuke's hand, gently lipping the offending digit.

Sasuke's own lips parted slightly. It really has been a while.... He stepped closer, pushing his thumb past Neji's lips. "You're not tired, are you?" he asked, his voice tipping slyly as he leaned forward. He braced a hand against Neji's shoulder and kissed his ear.

Neji closed his eyes. "No," he murmured around digit before sucking on it lightly. Damnit. Damn it all. He turned to better face Sasuke, setting aside his brush to run his hands over toned hips and thighs. Just for a while. I know it's wrong, but....

Sasuke murmured softly--Neji really had grown strong, and the feeling of his roaming hands made him wonder why they hadn't done this in a while. His heart was already beginning to pound as he pushed at Neji's shoulders. "Neither am I."

Shifting back onto the bed, Neji drew the other down to him, cupping his face to pull him into a long-missed kiss. His earlier arousal returned, doubled with the feel of another's body heat so near. He urged Sasuke's lips to part, drawing out his tongue and sucking on it hungrily.

Sasuke straddled him eagerly, legs tight around Neji's hips as he kissed him back. It had been so long that he was already almost fully aroused. Groaning softly between them he ran his hands up and down Neji's chest in a firm massage.

Neji moaned around their desperate tongues, his own hands working into Sasuke's back, hips, and ass. He ground them together, in his excitement thrusting up against his companion. God, I want him--I want to feel all of him....

Sasuke separated their lips with a gasp as a shudder went through him. He laughed breathlessly. "Shit, you're in a mood." He pinned Neji's shoulders, pushing down his body so he could suck playfully at his chest--and make it harder for Neji to reach him.

His head was thrown back as he moaned at the feel of hot lips. Neji's fingers dug into Sasuke's back. He desperately wanted Sasuke to return, to feel the pressure of his hips, and he pushed up against the other's stomach in substitution.

Sasuke grinned against him. He always did like this. He sucked harder, wondering if he'd be able to get him off with just this.

Neji's voice rose even higher, but it wasn't long before he couldn't take being teased any longer. He took a firm hold of Sasuke's shoulders, using his slightly greater weight to roll the boy beneath him. Their eyes met a moment before Neji stole a long, forceful kiss. He arched his back so he could thrust up against Sasuke's hips. Yes--just like that....

Sasuke's shoulders crept up as another shudder went through him. Though his heart was pounding, his body tight and hot with excitement, whenever Neji moved against him like that he lost a little of his nerve. He separated their lips even as his thighs tightened reflexively around Neji's waist. "Neji, wai--"

Neji caught his companion's jaw and quickly kissed him again, silencing whatever cries he might have produced. Don't push me away again--I'm not going to be able to stand this much longer. He continued to rock against the smaller body, his other hand sliding along the back of Sasuke's thigh to urge it higher around him.

Sasuke reluctantly responded, whimpering against Neji's mouth as his legs adjusted and tightened. He couldn't remember Neji being quite this forceful before--it wasn't much helping his nerve. When the elder boy finally had to pause for a breath he gasped for air, his head falling back. It's all right, he told himself. This isn't…anything we haven't done before.... "Neji…."

The sound of his own name--being spoken this time, not a product of dream or imagination--made him almost painfully tight. Neji leaned his upper body back only enough to strip Sasuke of his shirt. Panting softly, he started on the boy's pants as well.

"Neji...?" Sasuke watched him, too wound up and light-headed to think of stopping him. It wouldn't be the first time they were naked together, either, but it still spread a thrill of unease through him. He tried to grin anyway. "Shit, are you all right? You're awfully...excitable tonight." He bent his knee, pressing his foot lightly against Neji's groin.

His eyes narrowed. "It's been a while," he reminded, voice low as he gradually stripped Sasuke of his clothing. Neji leaned forward briefly for a heavy kiss, hoping to silence the other's protests by circling him and delivering a few slow, strong caresses.

Sasuke groaned into his mouth, hips shifting responsively against Neji's rough hand. He's right--God, keep touching me. He twisted his fingers in Neji's thick hair to keep him close.

Neji kept up his treatment until he was worried he'd finish his companion too quickly. He broke away and began pushing off his thin sleeping pants, eager for the feel of touching flesh.

Sasuke hissed in frustration when Neji pulled back; he slumped against the mattress, eyes half lidded and not really paying attention to whatever Neji was doing. "Tease."

He paused to give the other a few quick, hard strokes to keep him satisfied before removing his pants. He's amazing--his body.... As Neji crawled back up, he couldn't help running his hands over solid muscles. Leaning in for a kiss, he pressed them firmly together, groaning softly.

Sasuke jerked a little, startled to suddenly have Neji pressed so close. He managed to free his lips with a gasp. "H-Hey--" But his body was already carried away with all of Neji's heated affections, and he felt rather than intended for the upward thrust of his hips. He felt as he was slipping away from his senses, and his control. "Neji, wait…."

No--not this time. I want you. Neji continued his desperate affections, his weight settled on his chest so his hands could move freely. He stroked his companion, other hand again pulling at Sasuke's thigh.

No, wait-- Sasuke struggled to push his legs back together, but succeeded only in scraping their thighs, making his senses blur a little more. Though it was shameful he… was frightened, by Neji's desperate and unspeaking attention--by the reactions from his own body he couldn't stop. His breath was coming so fast he felt dizzy. "Neji, stop--"

"It's okay," he hissed. He rocked slowly, his tight desire rubbing along the underside of Sasuke's, and he leaned back enough to get a hold of both the boy's thighs. Neji urged them high so he could just feel his tip brushing at his companion's opening.

"Stop it!" By now Sasuke was too far thrown into panic to consider if this was what he really wanted. He jerked his weight forward, pulling his legs out of Neji's grasp and shoving him--hard--in the chest to throw him back.

Neji wasn't prepared for that, and he fell onto his back with a startled cry. He blinked up at the ceiling, breathing hard and shivering in the cool air.

What...was I doing?

He sat up slowly. "Sasuke...?" Neji licked his lips worriedly, running a hand back through his hair.

Sasuke snatched up his shit to cover himself as he pressed back against the bed's headboard. He was flushed and gasping, and even though he was ashamed for it, his hands were shaking. "What the hell, Neji?" he snapped, trying to sound merely annoyed though he was sure his eyes betrayed him. "I told you to stop."

Still breathing hard, it took a long moment for Neji to realize what the other had said. I...I almost…. He lowered his eyes, only to see that he was still aroused.

Neji quickly rolled off the bed, grabbing his pants and quickly pulling them on. What the hell was I thinking? I almost.... "Sorry," he mumbled, his lips too numb to say much more.

Sasuke glared at him, but he didn't have the strength to be angry. He sagged weakly against the headboard as he tried to calm his frantic pulse. "Shit...."

Of all the stupid, god damned.... Neji hunted around for his sandals. "Sorry," he muttered again, burning with shame for what he'd almost done. "I...shouldn't have...."

Sasuke watched him, and despite everything felt another inexplicable thrill of panic when it became obvious Neji was leaving. "Where are you going?"

"I gotta go," he replied stiffly, keeping his back to the other. "I'm sorry. I just...." Just nothing--I was too fucking horny to even think that I was about to rape him. The thought made him gasp as he fumbled for a shirt.

"Wait...." Sasuke sat up, though he didn't trust himself to move very far. He licked his lips. "I'm all right. You...you don't have to leave."

"Yes, I do. I...." He shook his head, face burning. "Damnit Sasuke, I'm still...." Neji ran a hand back through his hair, turning only enough to see the other, being careful to keep his obvious arousal still hidden.

Sasuke drew back, his face darkening a little. "Oh." Embarrassed, confused, and angry, he began to draw the rest of his clothes back to him. Damnit….

Neji turned away again. He knew he should leave--wanted to, just to get away from what had almost happened--but all at once his strength gave out. Covering his face with one hand, he sunk down onto the foot of the bed, as far from Sasuke as he could get. "I'm sorry," he said again, voice weak.

Sasuke snuck a glance at him, but he waited to slip back into his clothes before replying. "It's okay," he murmured. "You just...surprised me, that's all." Shit, I'm such a coward.

He shook his head. "I should have stopped." Neji closed his eyes tightly. I should explain. Not that...I can. "I wasn't thinking--I shouldn't have...pushed you like that."

Sasuke watched Neji's turned back, and though at first he started to come forward, he paused when he remembered that Neji was still…. "You really..." He licked his lips. "You really wanted me that badly…?"

Neji couldn't help a disbelieving snort. "It's really taken you this long?" He ran a hand back through his hair. At least he doesn't seem to hate me. Kicking off his sandals again, he pushed back to his feet. "Look, I'll just...be in the bathroom for a bit," he said, flushing.

Sasuke frowned. Shit, what are you mad at me for? "Whatever." No longer sure how to deal with the situation Sasuke slipped off the bed and into his own, drawing the blankets up. "I'll be asleep."

Neji took care of the last of his tensions, though even then he needed some time before he dared leave. He returned to his--empty--bed and crawled beneath his thick blankets. I can't even say anything.

Sasuke was far from asleep by the time Neji came back, and he listened silently as Neji climbed into bed. It wasn't until Neji had left that he'd realized how shaken by the whole ordeal he really was. I trusted him.... Shivering, he curled more tightly in on himself. "Neji." His voice sounded hoarse in the quiet room. "You wouldn't hurt me, right?"

His eyes snapped open. Neji rolled onto his other side, peering across the darkened room at the other. "Of course not," he replied strongly. "Sasuke...I would never." God, have I really messed things up this much? That he doesn't even trust me....

"I know." And he did know. It was just hard to think clearly right now. "Sorry. I know...you've been holding back, for me." Sasuke swallowed hard. And I don't know why I keep stopping you. I'm not a coward.

Neji shook his head. "No, Sasuke...." He sat up, though it didn't help him to see his companion any better. "It's not your fault--it's mine. If you don't...want that, then it's fine."

Sasuke's expression tightened. "It's not that I don't want to," he murmured. But he wasn't sure how to explain it without sounding even more like a child than he already did. "I don't know if...if I'm ready. Or something. Damnit...." He drew a hand over his face in frustration.

"It's fine," he repeated, licking his lips. I want to go over there, but.... Neji pulled up his knees, resting his arms over them. "If you're not, then...that's the way it is." Even if I want…. His fingers curled into tight fists, and he finally straightened. "Sasuke, can I come over there?"

Sasuke cringed, but he found himself nodding anyway. "Yeah...yeah, okay."

Neji rose slowly and padded across the room. Do this right, or you'll lose him. He sat down behind Sasuke, and after a moment of hesitation laid a hand on his side. "Sasuke."

Sasuke slowly uncurled and rolled onto his back, staring up at Neji in the dark. I know he'd never hurt me.... He licked his lips. "Yeah?"

He leaned down, making sure he wasn't about to frighten the other, running a hand gently through his hair. "I won't hurt you," he whispered. Neji touched their lips in a gentle kiss. "I...am more sorry than you know, for that." Another light kiss, almost pleading. "Forgive me?"

Sasuke's lips parted, and when he was sure he was all right he kissed him back. "It's all right," he assured softly. "Sorry I flipped out." He touched Neji's arm, and managed a thin smile. "I do like you, you know."

He nodded. "I know. It's just been a while, and…I guess I didn't want to waste the chance." Neji settled against Sasuke's chest, keeping them innocently close as he continued to trail his fingers through thick hair.

Sasuke relaxed, reassured by these more familiar touches. He took a deep breath. Might as well be honest. "Doesn't it…. Aren't you nervous, though? You've never done it, either."

"Yeah...when I think about it, I am." Neji turned his head to rub their cheeks together. "But I wasn't exactly 'thinking' before."

"Oh." How can you not think about it? Sasuke sighed, keeping his eyes closed. "Do you want to stay here tonight?" he asked hesitantly. "Without...you know."

Neji pulled back, but Sasuke wasn't watching him. "Are you sure?" he asked, rubbing lightly at his chest. "I can't promise I...won't get excited. But I won't do anything," he added quickly.

"That's all right." Sasuke smirked faintly. "I know I'm hot." He gave Neji a little tug. I don't want to be so nervous. Maybe I just have to…get used to him again.

Relieved, Neji gradually worked his way beneath the blankets, sliding close to his warmth. "How do you want me to...?"

"Turn over." Sasuke urged him to face away, so that he could slide up against his back. That way, at least, he wouldn't have to worry about Neji pressing against him through the night. He twisted an arm around Neji's chest. "This okay?"

Neji relaxed, grateful for Sasuke's decisiveness, and he pulled Sasuke a little closer. "It's fine," he assured. He reached up to gather his hair, pulling it all together and out of their way. "Um...thanks..." he murmured, eyes slipping shut.

"Don't." Sasuke drew the blankets firmly up around them, and was oddly relaxed by the smell of Neji's still drying hair. He sighed softly. "Goodnight, Neji."

Taking a deep breath, Neji slowly relaxed as well. "Good night, Sasuke."

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