BREAK TO BREATHE
by Okami Rayne
Chapter Twenty Four
[Dedicated to Lady Mortis]
Early evening stole the fire from the leaves, turning the autumn tinge of the village to a soft, milky blue. As the light began to change, Hanegakure's song changed. Birds settled in to roost, their melodies fading away to allow for the whisper of the canopies; an endless rustle.
Neji closed his eyes, feeling the cool sweep of the breeze against his face, stirring his bangs. He stood on the small balcony that curved out from the guest room, his palms resting on the balustrade, fashioned from a curved bough.
Breathe… He drew a slow, steady breath through his nose, holding it for a count of five before exhaling, letting the stale air waft away. The pain in his chest eased a little.
This will pass. A soft tickle brushed his cheek, causing his eyes to slip open.
His gaze settled on the airy drift of feathers, a gentle dance of plumes that swirled and seesawed on the current. Neji watched the twirl of a white quill, tracing its descent until it settled on the balcony, quivering on the edge.
He stared at it for moment…
Then he reached for it…
It slipped away before he could grasp it – taken by the breeze.
Neji watched it sail away, frowning.
"God dammit…" Shikamaru's voice grumbled from inside the guest room.
Neji blinked, staring at his fingers, though he raised his voice to carry back into the room. "What is it?"
"Eggs…"
Neji blinked, glancing over his shoulder. "
What?"
"They're boiled…that's even worse…"
"What are you talking about?"
Neji slipped back into the guestroom, glancing across the candlelit space to where Shikamaru sat on the floor by the low table, staring with an utterly unimpressed look at the food that had been brought to the room.
"Eggs," Shikamaru repeated, his voice flat.
Neji thought better about advertising his amusement and instead stepped over, folding his legs into a neat kneel as he seated himself opposite the shadow-nin.
"An odd thing to have on the menu," the Hyūga said. "Considering their affinity for birds…"
"Screw the birds…did I mention I hate eggs?"
"As if you needed to."
Shikamaru stared blankly at the boiled eggs, prodding one of them with his chopsticks, watching it roll across the lacquered plate. "Ugh…"
Neji shook his head, smiling faintly. "Well, that's not all there is."
Shikamaru glanced up, retaining his deadpan expression as he speared his chopsticks into a grainy looking substance. "And what the hell is this? Bird food?"
"Either you offended someone, or this is their diet."
"No wonder the women look like they need to eat," Shikamaru drawled, setting the chopsticks down. "Ino would love it here. Don't wanna know how Chōji's coping."
Neji quirked his lip and reached for one of the two tea cups. "Everyone ate earlier while you were asleep. It was a five-course meal, a shame you missed it."
Shikamaru's stopped prodding the grains, a single eyebrow sketching upwards. "What?"
"I did try to wake you," Neji took a sip of the tea, watching Shikamaru through the steam. "I gave up after the third attempt."
"You're joking…"
"Not this time."
He watched Shikamaru stab the chopsticks back into the cereal grains. "Think they'd notice if one of their birds went missing?"
Neji let a breathy chuckle slip, the sound escaping before he could contain it. "I wouldn't risk it."
"Don't plan to, just a thought," Shikamaru shrugged, watching him through half-lidded eyes. "Probably get salmonella."
"Are there any animals that don't offend you, Nara?"
"Ones that don't attack me, crap on me or wake me up."
"Such as?"
"Deer."
Neji smirked. "Of course."
He watched Shikamaru cover up the food and reach for the other teacup, pouring himself some of the smoky brew. As the steam wafted up, Neji took a moment to observe the Nara by candlelight, swathed in the shadows that the Chūnin was so comfortable with.
The shadows clung to him, as if they knew their master, swelling and shrinking with each flicker of the flames, drawing sharp definition to the Nara's jaw and the sculpture of his face. The barest glisten of light drew Neji's gaze up to the sharp ponytail, where droplets still clung from the shower the shadow-nin had taken.
"What?" Shikamaru suddenly said, causing Neji to jerk his gaze back down.
The Nara was lazily observing him from over the rim of the cup poised at his mouth, the play of steam swirling like smoke – bringing to mind that taste he'd gleaned off Shikamaru earlier.
Stop it… Attempting to cover his irritation at getting caught, Neji shook his head, glancing away.
"Nothing, I was just thinking about the meeting tomorrow," Neji lied, knowing Shikamaru would see through it, but also knowing the shadow-nin wouldn't call him up on it.
"Yeah…what a drag."
"How enthusiastic of you," Neji snorted, smoothing his thumb along the hot ceramic of the cup, looking for a distraction.
Shikamaru shrugged, staring at the tea. "Just want this over with…sooner we clean up their mess, sooner we get back home."
Neji inclined his head; those words seemed overshadowed by something else in the Nara's voice, barely discernable. Like the faintest scratch on a Richter scale before it steadied itself back to the same monotonous tone.
"Eager for the next assignment, Nara?" Neji teased, setting his cup down with a clink.
"Sure…" Shikamaru snorted, bracing an arm across his raised knee. "Like she's gonna let me catch a damn break, right?"
"Tsunade-sama?"
"Take your pick. Her, mom, Ino. Women are always breathing down my damned nec—
crap…" Shikamaru cut off, eyes widening before he slouched forward and planted his face into his palm, groaning.
"What's wrong?" Neji wasn't sure whether to be amused or concerned.
"Ino…"
"Ino?"
"Her birthday…shit…"
Neji stared blankly. "What about it?"
"It's coming up soon." Shikamaru blew out a harassed breath that whistled between his fingers. "She's gonna want something."
"Why would she want something from you?"
Shikamaru paused, then parted his fingers enough to peer through the cracks, arching a brow. "Are you kidding me?"
Neji shook his head. "I didn't realise it was compulsory."
"You don't get crap for Tenten?"
"No, Lee gets something
pleasant and I sign the card."
"Real nice, Hyūga."
"And then contribute towards whatever he purchases," Neji added with a smile, shaking his head. "I'm no fool. I wouldn't know where to start."
"Yeah well, I don't have that kind of backup. Chōji will probably just suggest a meal…and Ino's a little more materialistic than that."
"I see…" Neji tried not to see the amusement in Shikamaru's dilemma. "Flowers are out then…"
"She works in a damned flower shop, Hyūga." Shikamaru rubbed at the bridge of his nose. "Ugh…she's probably got it all worked out…she's gonna drag me into some troublesome joint-thing again…I'm screwed…"
"Troublesome joint-thing?" Neji echoed, realising how odd those words sounded coming out of his mouth. However, they seemed to amuse the shadow-nin, if the Nara's weak chuckle was anything to go by.
"Yeah…" Shikamaru held up his index with a kind of wry resignation. "One-day difference makes a
world of damned difference."
What? "Shikamaru…" Neji squinted, tilting his head. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about…"
"Probably for the best." Shikamaru smirked lazily. "Don't really give much of a crap about birthdays myself."
Neji frowned, thoroughly lost for a moment before the pieces slid into place.
Joint-thing…one day difference… The Hyūga's eyes brightened with clarity. "
Your birthday…?"
Shikamaru made a show of clapping his hands, the mock applause causing Neji to roll his eyes. "Well done, Hyūga. That was fast."
Ignoring the glint of mischief in Shikamaru's eyes – which could have been the candlelight – Neji shifted from his kneel, moving to sit somewhat less formally; he wouldn't allow himself to consider it 'relaxing'.
"So, would it be such a terrible thing to indulge her?" Neji asked.
Shikamaru shot him a weary glance. "You weren't there the last time."
"No. What happened?"
"I don't know, I think I slept through most of it."
Neji smiled, unable to clamp down on a chuckle. "How predictable."
"Those things usually are...so I check out early…oh yeah, by the way…" Shikamaru reached for his tea cup, dangling it from the tips of his fingers as he raised it in what appeared to be a toast. "Happy belated birthday."
Neji stopped smiling.
How did he know? The Hyūga instantly pulled a neutral mask across his face.
Shikamaru hummed questioningly, glancing over his raised hand. "Two months back, yeah?"
Neji stared quietly for a moment before he let his hand stray toward his tea cup, keeping his voice pleasantly calm. "How did you know?"
"Quit being paranoid," Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Relax and make the damned toast."
"I'm not paranoid. It's just not information in general circulation."
Shikamaru arched a brow and it was only then that Neji realised how ridiculous he must have sounded. The Hyūga knew it was the social norm for birthdays to be acknowledged amongst friends or comrades; he also knew that by default, the occasions were usually marked by celebration and gift-giving. But Neji's idea of marked birthdays had always carried a layer of literal meaning that left him with a bitter aftertaste no amount of cake or good wishes could cure.
Don't think about it now… Neji closed his eyes, shaking off his thoughts with a faint smile designed to distract Shikamaru from the tension in his voice. "I appreciate the sentiment."
He tried his best to ignore the veiled glance Shikamaru cast him – made all the more intense by the play of shadows in his eyes. Just when he thought the Nara was going to force him to raise a defence, Shikamaru smirked, letting it go.
"This
should be saké," the shadow-nin shrugged, leaning forward to tilt his wrist. "Good thing for you it's not."
"Oh?" Neji arched a brow, raising his cup in a similar fashion to clink their drinks, feeling their fingers brush inadvertently – he ignored the lingering sensation.
"We both know how well you handle your drink, Hyūga," Shikamaru smirked, saluting the air with the cup for good measure. "So here's to your crap level of tolerance – may it improve."
Neji rolled his eyes. "Because I'm certain that it will prove useful in the future."
"No kidding. I might not be there the next time you need to walk a straight line."
"I am excellent at walking lines, Shikamaru." Neji returned smoothly. "I toe them every day."
Fuck… The words were out before he could stop them.
Shikamaru paused with his drink half-way to his lips, raising his eyes.
Neji instantly took a sip of his tea, swallowing the scalding brew as if to burn away the taste of those words in his mouth, hoping Shikamaru would just let the dangerous comment slide. But the shadow-nin's gaze was as potent as a spotlight, making Neji feel twice as exposed.
"Got a reason you keep toeing those lines?" Shikamaru asked; his voice completely relaxed and unaffected.
Neji's felt his defences rise, completely tense and way
too affected.
The Hyūga steeled his face with an icy glare. "I suppose I could always follow
your lead and
cross lines instead."
Shikamaru's eyes narrowed, his head instantly drawing back at the bite in those words, as if they'd gone for his throat.
Good. Back off. Neji held his shuttered gaze, daring the Nara to push him.
He felt that familiar hostile ground inching back under their feet and waited for Shikamaru to cut him back with a caustic retort.
But the shadow-nin did something completely unexpected.
Shikamaru calmly set his cup down, lazily shifted onto his knees and leaned forward across the table, completely ignoring the wall of tension Neji tried to pull up between them – in fact, the bastard passed right through it, levelling their gazes so close that Neji had to physically lock every muscle against the instinct to tilt back.
His personal space completely invaded, Neji's eyes flared with a warning…which seemed to have no effect on Shikamaru whatsoever. If anything, it caused the Nara to lean in until their noses were almost touching.
Neji sat rigid, glaring.
Shikamaru blinked slowly, appearing far too relaxed for someone invading the personal space of a ninja who would fight tooth and nail to defend it. But other than hover critically close, the Chūnin made no other move.
Seconds ticked by.
Confusion replaced Neji's irritation and he frowned slightly.
It must have been the cue that the Nara was waiting for.
"Now that I've got your attention…" Shikamaru's breath stirred his hair, the easy tones rolling as rich as wood smoke, his next words just as opaque in their meaning. "I'm not trying to attack you, Neji."
Neji's brain halted, caught in the cross-fire of all his possible reactions to that statement, not knowing whether to prepare for a hit or whether he'd already taken one.
He felt raw again, exposed.
"Go ahead and try," Neji bit out. "Make this easier for both of us."
"Easier?" One corner of Shikamaru's mouth curved. "You'd think I would. Normally I run away from troublesome crap…bodily harm, for instance."
Neji raised his chin a notch, the defiant angle allowing him to glance down a fraction into those dark eyes.
"If avoiding bodily harm is your objective, you've made a tactical error by placing yourself this close to me, Nara."
"Quit being a pain in the ass Hyūga, you're actually worth a bit of damn effort when you're not being defensive."
Neji opened his mouth, shut it, repeated the process – then frowned, taken aback for a moment.
"What?"
"You want me to dumb it down? Fine." Shikamaru shrugged, bracing the heels of his palms on the table, not backing off, but not moving forward. "I'm not trying to attack you. You're worthwhile company when you're not being uptight, so
relax. That's as '
stupid simple' as I'm gonna make it."
'
Stupid' simple? Neji arched a brow. "I think you're attacking my intelligence now."
Shikamaru smirked. "I'd beat you every time if I was."
Neji found his lips lifting at the corners as if by their own will; as if some other part of his psyche had taken control of his face. "And you call
me arrogant."
"Not arrogant if you can back it up, apparently."
"I think
you need to back up," Neji muttered, his voice softer now, almost reluctantly amused – his anger all but obliterated.
How the hell does he do that? Shikamaru cocked his head, pinning Neji with an indecipherable look before he slowly leaned back. Neji waited until the shadow-nin had reversed completely from his personal space, before relaxing his guard a little.
It was ridiculous how quickly the ripples of tension smoothed out, leaving a kind of electric hum that was more stirring than uncomfortable.
This attraction…is illogical…and dangerous… But he couldn't deny it.
He watched Shikamaru reclaim an easy slouch against the table, propping his elbow as he sipped at his cooling tea, watching Neji through his lashes; observing with deceptive lethargy.
Neji knew better than to underestimate him.
Normally, being on the receiving end of the Nara's stares would have irked the Hyūga, but it somehow managed to intrigue him.
"Why do you bother, Shikamaru?"
"Good question," Shikamaru tilted his head in consideration. "I don't go verbal rounds with a lot of people, you know. It's a drag."
"So why do you bother?" he repeated, not falling for the evasive tactic.
"Maybe because you don't bore me," the Nara shrugged. "You're a pain in the ass, but you're not brainless."
Neji let a smile slip, shaking his head. "Another one of your backhanded compliments, Nara?"
Shikamaru snorted wryly. "You want flattery? Go speak to your fangirls back at the Shogi House – hell, most of the population of Konoha will be happy to oblige. But you're not gonna get that from me."
Neji dropped his eyes with a smile, not expecting a strong thread of respect to worm its way past one of his defences, lacing into his words.
"I would be disappointed if I did, Shikamaru," the Hyūga admitted.
Neji glanced up from his tea cup and immediately indulged in the rare and profound sense of satisfaction that came from having surprised the other ninja. Shikamaru was staring at him with open disbelief.
Neji chuckled. "Do you think I'm a slave to my ego? Now I
am disappointed."
"No, I just didn't think you'd say something like that out loud," Shikamaru recovered his smirk. "You're making jokes and bypassing bullshit…what the hell happened, Hyūga?"
I don't know… Neji rolled his eyes, smothering his smile behind the ceramic of the cup as he took a sip of the brew.
"You know how I feel about progress."
"And the bullshit is back," Shikamaru laughed, drawing Neji's attention to the easy resonance of the sound.
He found himself relaxing a little more, completely unaware of the physical rapport he was slipping into by mirroring Shikamaru's slant; drawn in by the banter bouncing back and forth between them.
"Do you want me to say that I don't know?" Neji asked with phony exasperation.
"That's a risky move," Shikamaru shrugged, dangling the teacup precariously from his fingertips. "Better ask your ego's permission."
Neji smirked. "I can do arrogant if you'd prefer."
"No thanks, I got my fill of observing
that bullshit from Sasuke."
Neji's curiosity piqued. "Aside from the obvious – what
is your problem with Uchiha, Shikamaru?"
"Problem?" Shikamaru drawled, but an odd edge cut across his voice. "You mean I have to pick just one?"
Neji set his cup down at exactly the same time as Shikamaru, his eyes fixed on the shadow-nin, trying to read something from his face that wasn't lost in the play of candlelight.
"It can't just be his betrayal of Konoha, surely."
Shikamaru's smile was a little too sharp to be amused. "You'd think that would be enough, right?"
"So what is it?"
Shikamaru shrugged. "He's an asshole. My brain isn't even required for that one."
"Yet I recall you saying he had a justified reason to act like an 'asshole'."
"You remember that?" Shikamaru tilted his head, almost sounding impressed.
Neji snorted. "Possibly because you were comparing me to him at the time."
"You're not an asshole," Shikamaru smirked, shaking his head. "You just behave like one sometimes."
Neji flattened his smile. "Oh, how tactfully put, Nara. And I suppose my reasons are as justified as Uchiha's in your Bingo Book of Bastards."
"Are they?" Shikamaru asked, gliding his thumb in slow circles around the rim of his teacup.
"What?"
"Justified?"
Neji hesitated, scrambling for a way to respond to that. "I do what is necessary, given what I want, Shikamaru."
"Yeah? Which is what, exactly?"
Neji glanced away, his throat tightening around a bitter laugh. "The last time I asked you what
you wanted, you didn't bother to deign me with a response. I'll return the courtesy."
Shikamaru raised a hand in mock surrender, conceding the point. "Fair enough. But I answered your other question, so answer this one…did you mean what you said about Sasuke being weak?"
Neji glanced back, jolted by the question. "What?"
Shikamaru watched him with an unerring stillness, the Nara's only movement being the easy roll of his thumb against the ceramic of his teacup.
"You said you thought he was weak because he couldn't control his emotions."
Neji frowned, trying to place those words in his well-stacked library of 'moments he wished he could return' without charge. Unfortunately, every delayed second was costing him. He bypassed the uncomfortable shelf where the memory of that rainy night was stored; almost able to taste the bitterness of the words he'd let fly when he'd slipped up.
Lost control…That won't happen again… "I don't remember saying that," he lied, shaking his head as he slid his fingers to the teapot, pretending to check the warmth.
"You were pretty worked up at the time."
"I told you," Neji dropped his hand away from the teapot, forcing calm into his voice. "I don't remember saying that."
"Guess that means you don't remember saying that you thought he was so consumed by his emotions that they corrupted him."
Neji veered his focus back to Shikamaru, colliding with the weight of the Nara's gaze.
Shikamaru didn't flinch, but his thumb stopped circling the cup.
Neji drew a slow, measured breath. "I wouldn't have been wrong, if that's what I said."
"So you think he's weak, because he acts on what he's feeling?"
Neji leaned back a little.
What game are you playing, Nara? He could tell that Sasuke was having less and less to do with the conversation – Uchiha was just a vehicle Shikamaru was using to drive it. Neji had no intention of being pulled along for the ride. He knew where this road would lead.
No. This is as far as he goes. Searching for the quickest way to knock Shikamaru off course, Neji opted for a less defensive tactic, hoping it would surprise the Nara enough to redirect the conversation away from disastrous territory.
"If I didn't know any better, I would think you're defending him, Shikamaru." Neji smirked, tilting his head.
"Not likely," the Nara said, his gaze fixed, unwavering.
Neji took the opportunity to steer the dialogue further off track. "Yet you led that Retrieval Team when he defected years ago."
"Hokage's orders."
Neji shook his head. "You also never dissuade Naruto's attempts to bring him home, despite the fact that they seem to be futile efforts. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be helped."
He expected an immediate counter – which didn't come.
To the Hyūga's surprise, Shikamaru seemed to suddenly give up the chase. Just as quickly as he'd pushed, the Nara pulled back. Not in that blasé, easy sway that Neji was used to, but a clear, sharp retreat.
Strange. Neji watched Shikamaru glance off towards the corner of the room, noticing immediately that a pulse of tension had suddenly picked up.
Why? He almost jolted when Shikamaru eventually spoke. "Naruto's doing what he has to do…"
"Has to?"
"Yeah, he believes it's the right thing, so he's doing it. I'm not gonna make trouble for him. Why would I?"
"Because your judgement isn't clouded and you know better?"
Shikamaru hesitated then shrugged, not bothering to respond – or return his gaze…which was more confusing to Neji than a lack of response. The Hyūga frowned slightly, mentally retracing his words to search for something he might have said to have provoked this unforeseen reaction. Or lack of reaction.
"Are you alright?"
Shikamaru smiled slightly, his eyes still fixed across the room, watching the shadows in the furthest corner, even though he was swathed in them. "You're paranoid."
Neji didn't take the bait. "You're not the only one who sees through bullshit, Nara."
"Guess not." Shikamaru closed his eyes, his smile tightening. "Score to Hyūga."
Neji hummed softly. "Back to playing games?"
"Probably be easier, right?" Shikamaru slipped his eyes open, still not looking across.
Though the Nara didn't telegraph his tension in the way others did, Neji knew where to look. His pale eyes scanned along Shikamaru's temples and face, reading the tightness beneath the surface.
What are you hiding? The shadow-nin eventually slid his gaze across, offering a sidelong glance rather than a direct look.
Neji stared back calmly.
"Giving me the once-over again?" Shikamaru's droll words mirrored his expression, which seemed to revert back to its relaxed smirk before Neji could gauge what had caused the shift.
Damn you, Nara…you're like chasing a shadow in the dark… He just couldn't pin Shikamaru down.
The Nara slipped out of reach just like that feather had earlier.
Shikamaru was safe behind defences that constantly morphed and swayed, flexibly adapting to the circumstance and allowing him to stay out of range. Far more effective in these situations than the rigid defences Neji employed.
Oddly enough, their defences mirrored their jutsu. Neji's being close-quarter and damaging. Shikamaru's remaining long-range and subtly evasive. It made for an interesting battle…but for once, Neji didn't want to fight…
I should… It was what he was good at after all.
I know how to fight…I don't know…how to do 'this'…why do I even want to? As abruptly as he'd sought the Nara's eyes, Neji broke the lock of their gazes, moving to his feet sharply, trying not to appear as disoriented as he suddenly felt.
Shikamaru watched him from the floor, frowning slightly.
"Neji…" the shadow-nin said cautiously.
Neji ignored him and turned to slide beyond the reach of those eyes that saw too damned much without giving half as much away. Opting for the closest exit, he slipped outside onto the balcony, snatching a breath of cold air with a growl.
Ridiculous…this is absolutely absurd… And exhausting…draining in a way that made the whole situation paradoxical. He felt stirred and steeled, angry and calm, attracted and repelled, fired up and shot down all at the same time…
Stop… Neji shook his head sharply; digging his fingers like claws into the balustrade of the balcony, gripping so tight the skin across his knuckles looked like it would split.
What the hell is wrong with me? "Neji…"
He barely heard Shikamaru until the shadow-nin's voice was practically at his ear, the warmth of it drawing a prickle along the back of his neck.
"Why?" Neji seethed out, shaking his head. "It makes no sense."
"I know…"
Neji snorted bitterly. "No, you
don't know."
"Well yeah, that's kind of the problem. Neither do you."
Neji clenched his eyes shut, tension stabbing pain across his chest. "Please stop talking, Shikamaru."
Quiet settled between them, disturbed only by the stir of the leaves and the hoarse sound of his own breathing. Neji held his breath against the sharp twinges in his chest, tightening his fingers against the varnished wood of the balustrade.
Not now… He didn't sense the shift of movement beside him, keeping his eyes closed until he felt the hint of a touch skim across his shoulder, under the fall of his hair, to his nape. He slipped his eyes open, staring down at his bone-white knuckles as Shikamaru's thumb grazed his neck.
Not a word passed between them as the shadow-nin's thumb tapped lightly against his skin, in tandem with an unheard beat, the rhythmic touch coaxing Neji to loosen his grip on the railing – and the tight breath he was holding.
The moment he exhaled Shikamaru stopped tapping, his thumb brushing lightly instead.
Breathe. Neji glanced across through the fall of his bangs; but Shikamaru wasn't looking at him. The shadow-nin had cocked his hip against the bough-crafted railing, his gaze on the milky light filtering through the canopies.
He tensed in discomfort when Shikamaru's thumb grazed one of the gashes in his neck, drawing his attention to the itching sting. He'd almost forgotten about them.
"Did you put something on it?" Shikamaru asked, as casually as if he wasn't touching the source of his query.
Neji shook his head. "Not yet."
"You're troublesome, Hyūga."
"I don't disappoint, do I?" Neji murmured, not sure whether he was trying to make a joke or whether he was trying to sound bitter.
He'd never been more confused.
Shikamaru hummed, dropping his hand away to move back into the guestroom. Neji turned to stand at the threshold, bracing his shoulder against the frame of the shoji door without stepping back inside. It was a kind of half-way point, which was as far as the Hyūga was willing to place himself at the moment.
He watched Shikamaru in silence as the shadow-nin crouched down beside his dropped set of belongings, all shoved into a corner. The Nara checked inside a flap on his flak-jacket, tugging out a small container.
Neji cocked his head, folding his arms across his chest. "What is that?"
"Salve," Shikamaru said as he pushed to his feet in a sway, moving over. "Not like Hinata's, but it'll do the trick."
Neji lifted a brow, elegant features adopting mock-suspicion. "Not weapon oil then?"
Shikamaru smirked. "She labelled this one."
"She?" Neji dropped his eyes to the container Shikamaru waved around, catching the neat script scratched onto a peeling label. "You should show a little more respect, shouldn't you?"
"My personal tyrant," Shikamaru clarified.
"You stole from your own mother…" Neji muttered quietly, managing a tired smile. "How deplorable."
Shikamaru's eyebrows shot up. "You kidding? She practically shoved this into my flak-jacket. I find things in there that aren't supposed to be there."
"You mean
she finds things in there that aren't supposed to be there," Neji smirked, dropping his arms to take the salve.
Shikamaru snorted. "Laugh it up all you want, but it's got me in a lot of shit."
"At least she cares."
Shikamaru turned away, muttering what sounded like 'troublesome woman' beneath his breath, but there was something begrudgingly warm about it. Neji smiled, stepping back into the room. He made his way to the bed which wasn't crumpled and perched on the edge, twisting the cap off the salve.
Pain began to pulse in chest.
Pretending to tug his hair over his shoulder, he watched Shikamaru stroll into the bathroom, yawning. It was only when the Nara knocked the door shut with his heel that Neji stood up, set the salve down and stepped away from the bed, placing his back to the bathroom. He reached for the fastening of his robe, tugging the fold of white away from his chest. The play of candlelight fell behind him, but he didn't need the illumination to find the marks dotted around the lean planes of his chest.
Focus… He skimmed the tips of his fingers to the bruised skin, pressing down on the deep, angry splashes of purple. Pain knifed through him, causing his jaw to clamp shut around a hiss. He closed his eyes.
Damn it… He didn't hear the bathroom door open.
Or sense the falter in the steps of the approaching shadow.
His focus was directed solely on controlling the pain, forcing it down as it pushed up.
It was only the soft exhale behind him that caused his eyes to snap open and the world to come slamming back.
Neji froze, his fingertips still pressed against his chest.
He stared straight ahead.
Shikamaru's shadow merged with his own on the wall, a set of flickering silhouettes shivering in the candlelight; at odds with how rigidly Neji held himself, utterly unmoving.
He didn't dare look over his shoulder, not wanting to see what would be standing in the Nara's eyes.
I can't take that right now… So he kept his gaze on Shikamaru's shadow, as if he could stare it down.
He waited for the question…the comment…the push…the moment that would drive them into another confrontation.
It never came…
Seconds passed into a small eternity if moments…his hoarse breaths pulling tighter as each one slipped by.
Then Shikamaru's shadow moved, sliding away off the wall as if it were melting.
Neji held his breath, low and tight in his throat, staring at the lone figure of his own shadow as Shikamaru's disappeared.
Then he felt it.
Tendrils snaking up along his legs, like shadow-cobras, following the creases of his clothes, coiling higher until they spiralled slowly along his arms in gentle, phantom caresses.
Neji remained paralyzed, as if held in a jutsu, but he wasn't.
He felt the opaque vines of Shikamaru's shadow coil gently around his wrist, very slowly drawing his hand away from his chest…away from the bruises…away from the pain…
Another shadow stroked across the sharp jut of his collarbone, brushing his robe aside, causing the fabric to drop away like a collapsed defence. The tendril then spread into the form of a shadow-hand, which skimmed ghost-like fingers along his throat, sliding around to his nape, kneading softly.
Neji shook once, his breath shuddering out of him.
He felt the shadows meander across the contours of his chest, following the taut planes like black rivers seeking to erode the tension. The control.
Stop… The Hyūga tensed up, trying to keep together what Shikamaru's shadows were starting to pull apart. He felt the black threads around his wrist unfurl, winding along his forearm slowly, scaling higher to trace across his shoulders, caressing his shoulder blades, slipping down along his spine …
It was unabashedly sensual…yet soothing…coaxing him to…
Let go… Neji swallowed, managing to whisper a ragged word. "No…"
The snaking tendrils stopped.
They hovered for a moment, before they redirected their path at the base of his spine, sliding around to his hips, merging into a shadow-arm that banded higher around his waist and tugged him back against the body that stepped forward.
He felt Shikamaru's chest against his back…the unexpected warmth of skin-on-skin and the undeniable burn that flushed beneath the surface of it.
Shikamaru's breath fanned lightly across his shoulder.
The shadows retreated, stroking soothingly along his torso before vanishing altogether, leaving only the barest pressure of Shikamaru's hands at his hips, holding him steady. Neji took a moment to drag his senses back from the trance they'd drifted into, vaguely aware that Shikamaru's thumbs were tapping lightly against his hipbones.
Neji blinked slowly, his heavy-lidded gaze straying back to the wall...back to Shikamaru's shadow, addressing
it rather than turning his head to speak directly to the Chūnin standing so close that their skin brushed with the slightest movement.
"It seems you
can stop…what you start…" he said quietly, wondering if the words even worked their way out this throat, which felt oddly parched.
"Who said I started?" Shikamaru murmured in reply, his voice muffled against Neji's hair, lips stroking along the mocha strands. "I'm barely touching you."
And even that's enough to do this to me… Neji sighed, shaking his head. "I'm close to hating you sometimes."
Shikamaru stopped tapping his thumbs, but he didn't drop his touch away.
The Nara hummed quietly. "Would be easier if you did…"
Neji frowned, turning his head slightly, just about glimpsing Shikamaru, whose chin was almost resting on his shoulder, but not quite. He felt the Chūnin's lips brush the edge of his jaw.
"Don't ask me troublesome things." Shikamaru sighed, his voice falling into that strange timbre Neji barely recognised.
It was
this, and this alone, that stopped the Hyūga's initial flicker of anger in response to such an arrogant request – given that Shikamaru had initiated this. He'd have turned around, but that was dangerous for more reasons than his brain could process whilst in such close proximity to the shadow-nin.
Damn him… Shikamaru did insanely incapacitating things to his logic, his defences, his control, his stability.
A reason to hate him, right there… Neji shook his head, raising his hands to settle at Shikamaru's wrists, he gripped them firmly, fully intent on prying the Nara's hands off him. But he paused, his fingers wrapped so firmly around Shikamaru's wrists that he could feel the shadow-nin's pulse.
A life-affirming beat beneath his fingertips.
Not slipping away or fading; strong, steady.
Alive. Neji loosened his grip.
He leaned back at exactly the same moment Shikamaru leaned forward, bowing his head with a rattled sigh as the Nara's brow settled against his shoulder. At the press of their skin, that familiar static crackled between them, easing into a steady, charged thrum.
The familiar paradox of how Shikamaru managed to stir and steady him all at the same time had never felt so complicated …or so simple...
"I'll hate you tomorrow, Nara," Neji said softly, his fingers brushing the veins in Shikamaru's wrists. "I'm too tired right now."
Shikamaru's reply went unspoken...but Neji felt it in the lingering sweep of the Nara's thumbs against his hipbones…before the shadow-nin began to tap once more.
