What the New Year Brings

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Sorry for the long wait. Moving is a pain in the ass. I don't recommend it. Writer's block is a pain in the ass, too. I don't recommend that either.

Chapter 25-The First Time Kakashi Discovers That His Is Better

Things change. It's inevitable. You could be minding your own business, happy as a clam, thinking that life is finally just perfect then WHAM! Curveball. Life and fate don't care who you are and what your plans are in life. They will screw you over.

Thing is, I never asked for much in life. I figured that if I kept my desires simple, then surely the fates would look kindly down upon me and let me have my way because, after all, Haruno Sakura isn't asking for much, just a certain Uchiha with an above average IQ, smoldering good looks, and a desire to rebuild his clan. "Smart, sexy, and looking for sex." I mean, seriously, is it any wonder why Uchiha Sasuke had girls literally throwing themselves at him, myself included? The guy was a walking, talking billboard for an ultimate dream date!

And for a time, the fates did seem to have looked kindly down upon me for they had granted me my wish. After all, I got teamed up with Sasuke and Ino didn't. Finally, things seemed to be perfect.

So if you had told me ten years ago, "You see this man, this man who is to be your sensei? The one who just got bopped on the top of the head with an eraser? You're going to fall in love with him one day and you're going to make love to him one day, too." I'd have yelled at how that was the stupidest thing I'd ever heard, that you needed to go to the nearest hospital to get your head checked, and that's just plain gross!

Life. Fate. Screw you over.

"What?" Kakashi asks, meeting my scrutinizing gaze with his own confused one.

"You got lucky." I say, looking back at him through squinted eyes.

"Course I did. Twice. So did you." Kakashi says happily.

"Oh, I sooo do not want to be hearing this!" Naruto says, covering his ears with his hands and quickening his pace to catch up with Yamato.

"What's wrong with you?" Yamato asks.

"You really don't want to know!" is Naruto's clearly disturbed answer.

I ignore Naruto's reaction and turn my attention back to the silver-haired baka walking next to me.

"That's not what I meant, Kakashi!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. When you said 'got lucky' I just automatically assumed-"

"And how are you a genius?" I ask, looking at him bewildered.

"I'm a ninja genius, Sakura. I don't know what kind of genius it would take to understand women...Maybe a woman genius perhaps?" Kakashi says, scratching the bottom of his chin in thought.

"I mean, if things hadn't turned out the way they had, do you think things would've turned out the way they had?"

"You're repeating yourself, Sakura."

"I mean, if Sasuke hadn't left, do you think we'd still have ended up together?"

"If Sasuke hadn't left, you wouldn't be who you are now, Sakura. So my answer is no, I don't think we would have."

"Really?" I ask, my voice taking on an unintended high pitch.

"Well, when Sasuke was still around you were annoyingly obsessed, you were mean to Naruto, and your goals in life were wayward. The minute he left, that all changed. Sure your obsession may have only shifted from getting Sasuke to love you back to getting him back altogether, but with him gone, you were forced to focus on becoming stronger, smarter, and a better kunoichi and a better person in general. I didn't fall for you simply because you filled out, Sakura. I may be a pervert, but if a hot body was all that I wanted, there are plenty of other women in and out of Konoha that I could've pursued instead. But I chose you because I saw you grow and mature in front of my very eyes and the contrast of who you were back then and who you are now is like day and night. I'm sad, too, that Sasuke left. I was his mentor, after all, and I should've been able to stop him from leaving in the first place. I tried so hard to get through to him, but I failed. But if his leaving made you a better person, made me see you differently, and made me fall in love with you and you with me, then maybe his leaving was a blessing in disguise. What worries me is that we are together and yet he's the one who's still on your mind. So what's your answer to your own question, Sakura? Would we be together, if Sasuke hadn't left?"

Talk about backfire.

"I honestly don't know, Kakashi. If he had stayed, it doesn't necessarily mean he'd have loved me back."

"And if he had?"

I say nothing because the truth would only hurt him.

"I thought so." Kakashi says quietly, turning his gaze away from me to watch the sun finally rise over the mountains turning darkness into light.

"Kakashi, it's a stupid thing to speculate about. I should've never even brought it up."

"No, Sakura, I'm glad you did because what happens when Sasuke does come back? What happens to us then?"

"Kakashi, if Sasuke does or doesn't come back, believe me when I say I love you no matter what."

"The same goes for me, but you love him, too, right?...No matter what?"

I was hoping to reply again in silence, but

"Yes." I say in a whisper.

In Kakashi's one exposed eye I see his emotions go from shock, to sadness, to anger.

"But Kakashi, you have to understand that the way I love him and the way I love you is different. You can never love two people the same and the way I love you is better. Sasuke was a childhood crush and even then, I was in love with the person I made him up to be and not who he actually was. He may have been good looking and smart and talented, but he was also cold and indifferent and wouldn't give me the time of day. That's not the kind of person that I, or anybody for that matter, should be in a relationship with. I may still love him, but now only as a lost teammate and friend. You I love because you see me. I may not have been the best person back when I was twelve, but you still saw me when he didn't. While he stomped all over my apples, you laid a hand on my shoulder and told me that everything would be alright...don't ask." I say, noticing the questioning look in Kakashi's eye. "Point is, you've always been kind and comforting and caring to me when he wasn't. You may have fallen for me because of how I've changed, but I've fallen for you because of how you haven't. And I don't just love you because of that, Kakashi, I'm in love with you. That's the difference in how I love Sasuke and how I love you and that's what will keep me at your side even if he does come back tomorrow or fifty years from now."

"And if I take that to be true, you won't regret it, being stuck with me?"

"Kakashi, I'm not 'stuck' with you, you're stuck with me because for however many times now, I'm telling you that I'm in love with you. Yes, it's true that Sasuke was the one that I always dreamed myself ending up with and that things didn't turn out the way I had planned, but sometimes life's plan for us is better than anything we might have imagined for ourselves and those changes that we at first utterly detested turn out to be, like you said, really blessings in disguise. Because don't you see? You're the one who treats me good. You're the one who treats me right. And you're the one that I'm really meant to be with. I might never have realized that if life hadn't taken the turn it had, forcing me to open up my eyes and see that there was something, someone better out there for me."

I see the apprehension slowly melt away from Kakashi's one exposed eye, replaced with the soft, tender look that he's come to reserve only for me and that I've now grown accustomed to. And then-

"God, I wish we were back at the castle!" he says in exasperation, looking up to the heavens.

"I know, right?" I reply with a laugh.

But for the time being we both settle for a soft kiss on the lips through his mask.

"Geez, don't you two ever stop?" Naruto asks, shaking his head back at us in disbelief.

"Listen to you, mister got-caught-making-out-with-a-certain-Hyuuga-heiress-in-her-father's-closet!" I say with a knowing smirk.

"How did you...How could you...Just get a room!" Naruto says with a huff, facing forward again and trying his best to ignore the continued soft spoken words between me and Kakashi.

"Maybe we should get a room," Kakashi murmurs playfully in my ear, "And have him pay for it." He says with a smile and slight nod to Naruto's back. "He does still owe you that large bet, right?"

"Yeah, he does, but if you haven't noticed we're in the middle of a mission right now and Miss Hiss over there is already pissed that we got here late." I say, slightly nodding my own head in Hiraku's direction who's looking out the window of her carriage, glaring at us in what way? Pissed.

"Maybe she and Naruto should get together and create a club." Kakashi says only half jokingly.

"Yeah, well, Naruto loves us and the idea of us. He said so himself. I think he's just not used to our public displays of affection. As for Miss Hiss, there's more than one reason that she's ticked off and it has mainly to do with me finding out about something that I wasn't supposed to."

"This is about that day in the garden, isn't it?" Kakashi asks sagely.

"Well what do you know? You are a genius!" I say in mock surprise.

"Ninja genius, Sakura. I'm not in the bingo books for nothing if I can't figure out what caught your attention in those trees yesterday."

"Well then, genius, can you tell me who she was with and why she's so insistent upon going through with this marriage if she's obviously into somebody else?"

"Ninja genius, Sakura, ninja! I'm not a woman. I don't know how your people think!"

"I am my people and I still don't know what Hiraku's thinking!"

"Well maybe you should just have a little heart to heart with her then."

"And how am I supposed to do that? She hid behind her guards the last time I tried to do that and I'm sure she'll find another way to hide from me again during the rest of this journey."

"You're a ninja, too, Sakura. I'm sure you'll figure it out."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Kakashi, but the only way I'll get her alone is if-"

"Is if?..."

"You're a ninja, Kakashi. You'll figure it out." I say with a smirk.

"Okay, Sakura, I think we need to make a clear distinction between ninja genius and the genius of reading women's minds!"

"Kakashi, you don't have to be a genius to read my mind."

"And what makes you say th -Mmph!- Mmm...Sakura, if we keep kissing on the job like this I think Miss Hiss over there is going to have a major fit."

"No, you're right, Kakashi. That was highly unprofessional of me. Consider that our last kiss then...until tonight that is." I say coyly.

"Tonight, huh?" Kakashi asks, now with a gleam in his eye.

"Like I said, you don't have to be a genius to read my mind."

"Pervert."

"Takes one to know one."

"God, I wish we were back at the castle!"

"I know, right?!"

To be continued...