Hard Love Life

Kakuzu sat at a table at the club, loud music pounding through his years as he sipped at an appletini.

Hidan wrapped His arms around Kakuzu smiling. "Isn't this fun?!" he yelled so Kakuzu could here him, "I haven't danced this much in ages!"

Kakuzu shrugged and pulled at Hidan's short dress, tugging him into a kiss. "If it's fun for you, it's fun for me."

"Don't rip any of the tassels!" Hidan said, pulling away and spinning so the dress fanned out, showing the skirt was only made with cords, "Can't be naked can I?!"

"It would make this place a lot more interesting if you were naked."

"Yeah, You'd be pulling men off me." Hidan said, spinning back onto the dance floor and dancing to an 80's tune that was now playing, "Love you Heathen!"

Kakuzu blew Hidan a kiss and went back to his appletini.

"Your a lucky man." The bartender said, "How'd you meet?"

"She... She was kinda forced on me. By my... Boss."

"Forced? How could someone force that on you?" he asked, shaking his head, "You in the shady business or something? You make it sound like she's a whore."

"She's a lot more annoying than she looks," Kakuzu scoffed, "She's no whore, she's just special to the company. She acts like a whore though."

"Now you’re making her sound like a prostitute." the bartender said, laughing, "I know she isn't, you’re the only guy she pays attention to."

"No, no, no she's... Different. Like. Comes from a power family," Kakuzu said, deciding on that, "She's beautiful, isn't she?" He asked a bit dreamily.

"Yes she is. Why are you not dancing with her?"

"I'm not a dancer, too old."

"Ah, I can't either but I go on the dance floor with my girl." he chuckled, "They'll be playing the Macarena soon, do you know that one?"

Kakuzu scoffed, "Too old and much too prestigious." He rolled his eyes, "You figured they'd be playing something much more ... Adulty in a club than the Macarena."

"It's a popular song. People like it, we play stuff with a beat." he set the glass he was cleaning down, "Mature or other wise."

"Hmph," Kakuzu muttered, pushing the glass to the barkeep. "I'll have another."

"I'll have one too." Hidan said, sitting next to Kakuzu, panting, "Hey hot stuff, how are you doing?"

Kakuzu pulled Hidan into his lap. "I'm doing good."

"We’ll get our drinks and we'll move to one of those chairs over there." Hidan said, waving at some padded chairs around a table, "Sound good?"

Kakuzu nodded, "Fine, but I was having a nice conversation with the bar tender."

"Go with her. I'll find someone else to talk to." The bartender said, "It's not that hard to get someone talking. Here are your drinks." He waved them off, turning to talk to what appeared to be a regular.

Kakuzu took the drinks and moved to the chairs, "You having fun?"

"Yes. Tons of it." Hidan took his glass and downed it, grimacing as he swallowed, "It would be funner with you."

"Like I said, I don't dance," Kakuzu sighed, unbuttoning another button on his shirt thanks to the heat. There were four more before the shit was completely off and right now he was showing more chest than Hidan wearing a cloak.

Hidan smiled and rubbed Kakuzu's stomach. "Getting hot?" he asked, kissing Kakuzu's chest, "You know, you’re terrible at sex when you’re drunk."

"It's incredibly hot in here," Kakuzu grumbled, leaning Hidan's head up for a kiss. "I know I am."

Hidan grabbed the back of Kakuzu's neck and pulled him closer. "So am I. It’s because of all these people giving off heat." he said, sitting himself on Kakuzu's lap, "Good. I'm glad you know." Hidan began to kiss Kakuzu's neck, biting him softly.

Kakuzu pushed Hidan away from him slightly. "You look like some random slut trying to get in my pants."

"I'm your wife trying to get into your pants." Hidan said, smirking, "I really just wand to kiss you everywhere." Hidan shifted to the side to show the message Kakuzu had written on him so many months ago. "They can see that you are Kakuzu."

Kakuzu sighed and kissed Hidan's fore head, brushing a few stands of hair out of his eyes. "You really want to get into my pants?"

"A little yes." Hidan said, returning to kissing Kakuzu's neck, "You don't have to agree with me. I can handle it."

Kakuzu grinned, "I'm glad you're not mad at me anymore."

"I haven't been mad." Hidan said, biting Kakuzu's collar, "Just baffled."

Kakuzu nodded, "Sure seemed mad."

"What is it we're talking about?" Hidan asked, running his nails softly over Kakuzu's chest.

"Never mind."

Hidan pouted but continued to caress Kakuzu. "Your smell. It's intoxicating." he whispered, running his tongue down to Kakuzu abdomen.

Kakuzu shivered slightly, noticing the long tablecloth. "Get down on your knees. Give me head."

Hidan smiled and did so, unzipping Kakuzu's fly. "What do you want me to do first?" he asked, teasing Kakuzu as he rubbed his husband's groin.

Kakuzu tugged the table cloth over his lap and Hidan's head so no one would notice. "Uhmm. Lick and suck on the head."

Hidan smiled and gently pulled the organ out, taking it into his mouth. "I've missed this." he said, flicking his tongue against what was exposed before tugging on Kakuzu's foreskin, "Tastes good."

Kakuzu held back a moan and suggestive signs that would show that he was in pleasure.

Hidan began to roughly suck on Kakuzu's member, his head bobbing up and down to the rhythm of the music. He flipped his hair out of his eyes, smiling as he heard Kakuzu try to remain quiet.

Kakuzu bit down on his lower lip, shakily taking a sip of his drink before setting it down.

Hidan pulled away, licking his lips. "What do you want next?" he asked, pulling the tablecloth up a bit so Kakuzu could see him.

"Just do what you always do," Kakuzu said,

Hidan took Kakuzu back into his mouth again, taking the entire organ in. He heavily gagged, still bobbing his head vigorously.

Kakuzu moaned loudly, drowned out by the loud music

Hidan smiled in triumph. He loved it when Kakuzu moaned, it wasn't any fun if he didn't. He pulled back so he was sucking the head again, if he had continued deep-throating him he would have vomited on Kakuzu. He hummed for added stimulation. He wanted Kakuzu's cum so bad.

Kakuzu pressed his hands into the back of Hidan's head, moaning louder and cumming into Hidan's mouth.

Hidan swallowed Kakuzu's cum, tucking the man's member back into his pants. "Have fun?" Hidan asked, slowly slinking back up to sit next to Kakuzu.

Kakuzu kissed Hidan's sloppily. "So much fun."

Hidan patted Kakuzu's, chest standing up. "I'm going to dance some more." He said, dashing off into the crowd.

Kakuzu basked in the afterglow of his orgasm.

Hidan danced wildly, shoving unwanted hands off him from time to time. He wasn't going to let some pervert make him leave. One guy just didn't get the message, though Hidan held a bit of understanding, the guy looked like he had been drinking a lot.

Kakuzu growled as he watched the man feeling up Hidan, going up to Hidan and began to grind against him.

"Kakuzu? What are you doing here?" Hidan asked, looking over his shoulder, "You said you don't dance."

"I do dance when some perv is trying to feel you up and doesn't get no means no."

Hidan smiled, looking forward again as he began to grind against Kakuzu as well. He tossed his head to the side and ran his hands down his body before reaching behind himself and grabbed Kakuzu's hips, making them sway in synchronization. "You dance pretty good."

Kakuzu sighed, "I've been watching you dance and other people too."

"So what?" Hidan asked, sliding up and down Kakuzu's body before spinning away from him.

"That's where I learned to dance," Kakuzu said, pulling Hidan close to him again."

Hidan smiled at Kakuzu, running his fingers threw his black hair. "Want to touch?"

Kakuzu nodded and grabbed Hidan's breast, massaging it gently.

Hidan moaned, rubbing his legs together. "Are they the way you like them Kakuzu?" Hidan asked, closing his eyes for a bit as the strobe lights came on.

Kakuzu smirked, rolling a nipple in between his fingers. "Exactly the way I like them." He pulled Hidan so he was facing him and dipped his head down secretly, pulling down Hidan’s dress and taking a nipple into his mouth.

Hidan moaned grabbing Kakuzu's head. "You want to look for a back room?" he asked, smirking at his lover, "I'm sure this place has them."

Kakuzu shook his head, "Let's see if we can get away with it up here." He pulled Hidan's dress back up, Unzipping his pants and hiking up Hidan's dress slightly and thrust into him.

Hidan gasped. "You're normally not so adventurous." he said, turning to look at Kakuzu as he moved his hips a bit, "Mmm, I really missed this part."

Kakuzu shrugged, "you just gave me head under a table, I figured you'd enjoy sex in the middle of a club." He began to move his hips so it look like they were dancing.

Hidan smiled deviously. "How about you we go back to those chairs and I’ll give you a 'lap dance'?" he suggested, smirking, "They'll never know what really happening."

Kakuzu nodded and pulled out of Hidan, covering his erection with his shirt and sitting down on the chair.

Hidan crawled back on top of Kakuzu, sliding his member back inside himself. "This will be the best lap dance you'll ever have." he said, beginning to move his hips up and down. He moaned loudly, running his hand over Kakuzu's chest.

Kakuzu unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way, letting out a soft moan.

The albino sat back, rocking his hips as he razed his arms into the air. He tossed his head to the side again, trying to look like he wasn't fucking his partner. "Want to touch?" Hidan asked again, licking his lips.

Kakuzu snuck some threads into Hidan's ass, plying with his prostate and reaching up and grabbing Hidan's breasts, massaging them firmly.

"Hah, not my ass. Play with my clit." Hidan hissed, moving the cords of his skirt aside so Kakuzu could touch him.

Kakuzu flicked at Hidan's clit with his fingernail and soon began to rub it violently.

Hidan gasped, his hips moving faster. He bounced up and down, his breasts moving with him as the dress slowly began to uncover one of them. "Have you missed the sex Kakuzu?"

Kakuzu nodded, tossing his head back and letting out a loud moan. "I've missed it a lot."

"I'm glad we went dancing." Hidan gasped, his left breast coming free, "You almost ready?"

"I'm not, what about you?" Kakuzu asked, suckling on Hidan's nipple.

"Not quite, but I'm getting there and it's going to be good." Hidan moaned softly, "Ah, who cares if some one sees us, you do the fucking."

Kakuzu nodded then shook his head, "I always do the fucking, you do it for once."

"It's no fun this way." Hidan pouted, "I can't move fast enough." To prove his point Hidan moved faster, quickly tiring out. "Lets go to a back room. Then we can go crazy."

Kakuzu placed Hidan on the table, beginning to thrust quickly into him. "Hurry up and come."

Hidan reached down and played with his clit, panting. "I'm getting there." Hidan snapped, tossing his head back as he whined loudly, "Oh my, I missed this feeling~." He grew tense, his orgasm making him tremble before going limp.

Kakuzu came into Hidan with a loud moan, pulling out quickly and tucking himself back into his pants before zipping up.

Hidan sat up, reorganizing himself. "That was fun. I'm going to dance some more." He stood, "But I want more alcohol first."

Kakuzu nodded and waved Hidan off.

Hidan slid into a barstool. "I'll have a pint of the strongest stuff you got." he said, slicking his hair back. Hidan turned and blew Kakuzu a kiss.

Kakuzu winked at Hidan and caught the kiss.

Hidan smiled and turned to look at the large mug set in front of him. He turned to a guy who had just got the same thing. "Lets see who can drink this the fastest." he said, smirking when the guy nodded, "Let me warn you. I'm really good and you’re not getting into my panties." With that they began to guzzle their whisky down.

Kakuzu sighed and rest his head on the table, half asleep from after his orgasm.

The men looked on horrified as Hidan downed his second glass. "Haha~! You guys are fun but I'm gonna go dance." Hidan said, getting off the stool and walking a bit unsteadily back to the dance floor; "Hey, no following or I'll send my husband on you. He'll rip out your hearts and feed 'em to Zetsu." Some of the men backed away, only the tougher ones linger off to the side as Hidan began dancing again.

Kakuzu passed out at the table.

Hidan continued dancing, finding a to other women to dance with. They talked quietly, Hidan bragging about his new baby. Hidan finally moved to the out side of the circle of dancers, tired of getting his toes stepped on.

Kakuzu could feel himself being shifted slightly in his sleep, but assumed it was Hidan so he didn't move. When he woke up, he was in a strange, broken down place, tied to a bed with several woman standing over him.

"You're giving us a hard time." one of the women said, sores around her face: definitely a meth head, "We try to take a kidney and some tentacles stop us. You wouldn't mind letting us take one would you?"

"Sell your own kidney bitch, I need my kidney to do kidney things with it!" Kakuzu growled and tried lashing out, only finding that there was something blocking his chakra.

"Sorry, you're not going anywhere." a small and very thin woman said, "Not until you give us something uh... Sir."

"Kyoukou, don't say anything. You're making us look stupid."

Kakuzu growled, "Hidan'll find me and when he does... Well, let's just say we have a newborn at home that's without a father right now. So ... Hidan will be very pissed that his husband is missing."

"He? That whore had a pare of knockers." the meth head said, "The guys will make sure she doesn't notice your gone. Besides, how do you know the baby is even yours?" She giggled, loving that she got to play with his mind.

"I know because that 'whore', as you called her, can only get pregnant from me, you dumb cunt. So before you try to lie, at least know what the fuck you're talking about," Kakuzu said, narrowing his eyes distastefully.

"I'm sure she can only get pregnant from you." the meth head said, rolling her eyes before sharply elbowing Kakuzu in the gut, "Be glad that wasn't lower. Now give us a kidney. You can live with only one."

"Go fuck yourself, whore," Kakuzu muttered, trying to command his threads to do something, but couldn't. "What'd you give to me?!"

"It's not any thing we gave you, it's Kyoukou. She can sap chakra right out of you." another woman said, "Give us a Kidney or you will be one of the few men who were raped by women."

Kakuzu merely growled again and glared fiercer. "Hidan will kill you."

"She's being taken care of. So do you want to be humiliated?"

"I'm not giving up a kidney so you sluts can get high. I take care of my body, unlike you. So why don't to go give blow jobs for crack like a good girl?"

"We don't do that sort of thing. We harvest organs to sell. We save lives of people who really need it." the meth head said, nodding to a woman with dread locks, "Do him."

"Bullshit you don't. You're a meth head, with your scraggly ugly hair, skin and bones appearance," Kakuzu said, scoffing, "You're not gonna be able to rape me."

"Not all meth heads are prostitutes. I make my own." she hissed, "Yes we can. What makes you think we can't?"

"The fact that I have amazing self control and am only attracted to my wife so I will not get hard."

"We're not going any where. Just drug him so those things can't move." Kyoukou said, biting her finger, "That or we could threaten his family."

Kakuzu snarled. "Don't even think about threatening my family you meth whore! I'll rip out your intestines and use them to decorate this good for nothing shit whole of a ghetto!."

"Enough of this. Sei, slit his throat. He's not worth it." the meth head said.

Kakuzu sighed and gave up, laying back against the bed and waited for death.

A simple spider crawled from under the bed before moving onto the meth heads leg. "Let him go, un, or your leg is gone."

Kakuzu blinked, "Deidara, what the hell?"

"I had no idea you were here. Leader sent me to get rid of them, un." Deidara said, blowing up the woman's leg anyway, "Well ladies? Do you like the one true form of art? Because it's the last you’ll see."

"Don't torture them, let me go!" Kakuzu shouted, glaring at Deidara, "You useless, stupid fool!"

"Deidara rolled his eyes. "Fine, un." He dropped off the ceiling and onto the bed, untying Kakuzu, "The stuff I do for you people un. I look after your kids." Another bomb set off, blowing a hole in the wall. "Go. I don't even think Hidan knows you're gone."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't know..... Or care for that matter," Kakuzu muttered, running out the door.

As Kakuzu arrived back at the dance club two men stumbled out the door, the familiar voice of a female Hidan screeching from inside. "Out of my fucking way you pervs! I need to find my fucking husband!"

Kakuzu raised a brow and looked at Hidan in the club. Running up to him and picking him up into a bear hug.

"Kakuzu! Where were you?!" Hidan cried out, hugging Kakuzu back, "I was worried, I saw you were gone and I thought that maybe you went puke in the toilets but you never came back. I was trying to leave and these guys tried to keep me from leaving."

"When I was passed out these chicks kidnapped me and then took me to this house and tried to take my kidney. And then rape me. Then try to threaten my family. Then kill me. And then Deidara came and saved me," Kakuzu said, holding Hidan tighter.

"You were raped?! Hidan asked shrilly, clutching Kakuzu tighter, "What? This is confusing."

"Tried Hidan, tried." He corrected.

"Oh." Hidan said, blushing in embarrassment, "Sorry."

He shook his head, "It's fine. I'm just happy you're okay..."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Other then having my toes stepped on and being groped constantly I'm good." Hidan replied, "Are you feeling okay? Are you hurt at all?"

"I'm fine," Kakuzu said, picking up Hidan bridal style and carrying him out of the club.

"You sure?" Hidan pressed, rubbing Kakuzu's bare chest, "I was so worried about you."

"I mean it, I'm fine," Kakuzu said, nuzzling the top of Hidan's head.

"Well other then this little incident, did you have fun?" Hidan asked, kissing Kakuzu under his chin.

Kakuzu nodded, "Not that much fun, but I did have fun."

Hidan nodded. "Same. After we get how can you grope me a lot?" Hidan asked, "To make up for all the strangers groping me?"

Kakuzu sighed, "Maybe tomorrow, I just want to sleep when we get home."

"Fine. Hurry up. I want to see the girls and our baby." Hidan said, pouting.

Kakuzu glared down at Hidan, "Yes master, you bitch. Never care how I feel."

Hidan squirmed out of Kakuzu's arms and walked briskly, taking the lead. To piss the man off he flirted with some passer-byes.

Kakuzu ignored it, just continuing to walk slowly, calmly.

Hidan grumbled. "Apologize to me." He finally snapped.

"Go fuck yourself, you cunt."

"Go home by yourself. I'm checking into a hotel." Hidan said, dashing away.

Kakuzu shrugged, walking back to the base and getting his son, rocking him softly and taking him back to his bed.

"Did you chase Hidan away again?" Konan asked, poking her head into the room.

"I didn't do anything. I was kidnapped and he started bitching at me. He never cares about how I feel. About my needs. It’s always about him. What about me?"

"What did he say?" Konan asked. Over Hidan's pregnancy Konan had become friends with him, so when ever Hidan would run off she'd go right to Kakuzu, guilt-tripping or scolding him."

"I was carrying him and he told me to hurry up, then I said that he never cares how I feel. After that, he began to flirt with other men. THEN that bitch had the nerve to tell me to apologize to him. He needs to get over himself. He never asks me how I feel. I feel unloved."

"What did you say to him when he asked you to hurry?" Konan asked. It was like this a lot, Hidan would ask Kakuzu do something and then Kakuzu would refuse and add in an insult, making the albino mad.

" 'Yes master, you bitch. Never care how I feel.' I had already told him I was tired," Kakuzu growled, "You're just going to take his side. You always do. No one cares about me. Ever."

"What do you expect Hidan to do when you call him a bitch? Do you always expect him to smile sweetly and thank you for calling him that? No, he's going to get pissed and try and make you feel like shit." Konan asked, folding her arms, "And what did you say to him when he told you to apologize for calling him a bitch?"

"I told him to go fuck himself. That cunt," Kakuzu grunted, "Like I said, you're just going to take his side. You don't care about me. No one cares how I feel. No one bothers to think of me. I'm just Kakuzu, you can walk the fuck over him because he's just going to back down since he's whipped by his wife. You know what? I'm tired of it."

"Maybe people would like you more if you didn't act like you have a stick up your ass." Konan snapped, "You know not to insult him when you say no. It always makes him so angry. How can anyone put up with you?" Konan slammed the door closed, making Zekkou cry.

Kakuzu sighed and gave up, setting Zekkou in his bassinet and walked to his desk, scrawling out a suicide note and going into one of his drawers and pulling out a bottle of pills and swallowing them all. He then headed to the liquor cabinet and drank half a bottle of scotch.

"Kakuzu? What are you doing? What about the family you talked about at the grave?" A woman's voice asked, a result of Kakuzu's drunkenness and the pills. Or maybe not. Maybe she really was there.

Kakuzu growled and rolled over. "Let me die alone."

"I always thought you were better then this. You were always so strong." a cold hand stroked Kakuzu's cheek, "You're just giving up?"

"No one cares about me like you did. I want to see you again. You and our child. Hidan doesn't care..."

"He does care, but you're so cruel to him. Every time you call him a name, insult him he feels like he is dieing." Hinote kissed Kakuzu's cheek, "I'm gone now Kakuzu. You have more with Hidan then you ever did with me. You have three children, you married him."

"I'm cruel to him. Hinote. You're just like the rest of them! What about the times Hidan has practically forced me to have sex with him? And the times I didn't do one thing for him and he ran out on me. I'm sick of it. I just want to die."

"You are cruel to him. He’s still young and most of his life he got what he wanted"

Kakuzu grunted, "He never cares about me."

"You know that’s not true" Hinote wrapped an arm around Kakuzu, "He does care. But like you he's damaged. He is trying so hard to be what you want."

Kakuzu sighed and held Hinote's ghost to him. "Why'd you have to die?"

"It was my time. It's not yours however. You're not going to die today." Hinote smiled, "You know, time goes by fast when you are in a coma, it's already been a day. Don't leave Hidan. He loves you. He really does. Now wake up, and stop the vengeful name calling. Hidan doesn't like it."

"Sometimes he deserves the names," Kakuzu said. "And I don't want to wake up yet..."

"You don't need to call him names out loud." Hinote said, "You have to."

"What happens if I don't wake up now?"

"You may never wake up silly." Hinote said softly.

Kakuzu sighed and kissed Hinote softly. "Have you been waiting?"

"I am. But I'm not taking you. We'll see each other when you do die. Then we'll go together." Hinote began to fade away, "Wake up Kakuzu."

Kakuzu reached out for Hinote's fading figure before slowly waking up.