Inbred

Short chappie. No adult stuff. Attempt at humour and slight references to the actual franchise. Thanks to Soft_Touches for the inspiration for this chapter.

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Chapter 26

"Ohayo, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto turned his head to face the man that had addressed him and he immediately became incensed.

It was Kakashi-sensei, and he STILL had his book. Naruto was surprised the man had even spotted him since his nose was always buried in the damned thing.

"Gah! What do you want from me now?" Naruto muttered as the much taller man approached him, threw one lanky arm around his shoulder and gave him his trade-mark Kakashi-smile. Naruto could tell by the way his visible eye turned upward with mirth.

"I wanted to thank you for the book. It helps occupy my time while classes are out."

It was the break between the first term and the second term and, as Kakashi-sensei said, classes had indeed been suspended until the new term began. Although Kakashi-sensei never looked business-like when he taught his classes Naruto noticed a stark difference in his appearance and he looked even more casual, if that was even possible.

He wore a white polo-shirt that was probably a size too large for his thin frame. All three buttons were undone and it sported a scarecrow decal on the upper-right side of his chest. He wore a tan, camouflage 3/4 'beach' pants that stopped just below his knees and exposed thin legs with well-defined calves. On his feet were another pair of beige 'Reefs' and while this was something he'd probably wear to class anyway it was what he had on his face that gave Naruto the impression that he was no longer playing the role of a school teacher and was just being a regular citizen.

Wrapped around the lower half of his face was a white, cotton, face-mask*(1) with an intricate brown pattern printed onto it and instead of the usual necktie, he wore a head band, similar to what exercise instructors in the eighties wore. It was brown as well and he had it pulled down over his left-eye. The man looked well co-ordinated and his colours matched rather nicely and Naruto wondered if he had a head-band and mask in every colour.

"You're very welcome," the blond replied sarcastically and tried to pull away from Kakashi's hold but the man just leaned with him. Naruto rolled his eyes. "Hey, hey, can I have my book back please."

Kakashi opened his eye then and gave him a very flat look. "Naruto-kun, it's not very nice to give someone a gift and then ask back for it."

"But I never gave it to you as a gift!" the blond yelled and Kakashi just seemed to ignore him. Naruto tried a different tactic.

"Hey, Kakashi-sensei," he spoke as if he were about to offer the closet-pervert a deal he couldn't refuse. "If you give me back that book, I'll get the author to send you signed copies of all his novels, PLUS a framed 8 x 10 glossy, autographed by the author himself."

He saw the glint in the man's eye and tiny beads of perspiration appear on his skin, but as immediately as they appeared they vanished and he had that bored impression on his face again. "Your word's no good Naruto-kun. Get me these things first and THEN I will give you the book in exchange."

Naruto looked at him as if he were crazy. He HAD to be crazy. Begging Jiraiya to send him a signed copy of every one of his novels along with an autographed picture was not worth ONE BOOK.

"Hey! That deal's not exactly fair Kakashi-sensei!"

"But Naruto-kun, you were the one that suggested it."

His voice caught. He had no argument for that. "Well then I guess you just lucked out of the deal of a lifetime," he grinned smugly.

"And I guess you won't be passing my classes from now on."

Naruto balked. "You-You can't be serious," but the look on his sensei's face confirmed that he was, in fact, dead serious.

"Kakashi-san?"

Both men turned to look at the woman that had addressed the person of Naruto's increasing hatred and the teen suddenly felt as if the air was knocked from his lungs.

It was Kurenai-sensei and she was breath-taking.

A sun-dress made of a very light material was draped elegantly around her curved frame and while it clung to her tiny waist it hung loosely around her legs even down to her calves, leaving alot to the imagination. Thin spaghetti-straps hung from smooth, delicate shoulders and it was all Naruto could do to stop himself from drooling a pool of saliva at his feet. Kakashi removed himself from Naruto then and the boy tottered in his entranced daze. "Ah, Kurenai-chan, did you find what you were looking for?"

The woman nodded twice then looked over at her student and flashed a beautiful smile as she greeted him. "Ohayo, Naruto-kun, it's nice to see you."

He just gaped at her.

She stepped closer and waved a hand in front of his face. "Naruto-kun?"

He continued to stare.

She leaned over in front of him and waved again but when he didn't respond to that either she looked over to her comrade with a worried expression on her face. "Kakashi, is he ill?"

The man shrugged while he read another page in the book. "He's just undressing you with his eyes."

That seemed to snap Naruto awake and a blush creeped across his face as he lashed out at the closet-pervert. "Shut up, you stupid jerk! I wasn't doing anything like that, I was just surprised to see Kurenai-sensei that's all."

"It's not nice to lie to your teachers, Naruto-kun," came the bored reply and Kurenai put a hand to her mouth and giggled as Naruto began another tirade.

"Hey, Hey! Why is Kurenai-sensei and Kakashi-sensei shopping together?" This question was directed at Kurenai and all traces of his previous animosity were replaced with abject curiosity. At his old school Naruto had never met a teacher off campus and had never seen one in such a casual environment like a shopping-mall. But underneath their stern exteriors they were human beings after all and Naruto supposed they had to have a life just like everyone else.

Kurenai blushed slightly and and Kakashi spoke rather matter-of-factly even as he turned the page and continued reading. "Kurenai is shopping for a very special person who is also a friend of mine so she wanted my opinion on a birthday present."

Her blush got deeper and she coyly scolded the chatter-box, "Kakashi-san, you speak too much."

"Ah, I'm sorry Kurenai-chan," he rubbed the back of his read as his face turned upward as he smiled his apology.

Kurenai then noticed a small object in Naruto's hand. "Are you shopping for someone special as well, Naruto-kun?"

He looked down at the piece of jewelry he was holding. It was a silver chain with very small links and a heart-shaped locket framed with little, pink gems. He'd say it was a 'Thank You' gift for Sasuke but there was no way he could hide the fact that it was indeed an item intended for a girl, and the fact that they were in a shop that sold female clothes and trinkets didn't help matters either.

Kakashi came closer then and leaned over to inspect the object then grinned widely. "Ah! It seems Naruto has a girlfriend."

He blushed and put one hand behind his head and hid the necklace behind his back. "N-No I don't," he chuckled with embarassment.

"Uh, boyfriend then?"

One blue eye twitched. "Shut up! You stupid idiot, you don't know anything-"

Kurenai giggled again as Naruto broke into another tirade while Kakashi continued to read his book, blatantly ignoring him.

"-You're an evil teacher who likes to black-mail his students and you're nothing but a closet-pervert and a bastard, Kakashi-sensei, do you know that?"

The older man turned to look at the teen then. "Did you say something, Naruto-kun?"

Naruto wanted to pull out his hair. He growled his exasperation and threw another hissy fit.

Time was slipping away and Kurenai managed to calm the boy down. It was very easy, Naruto was like putty in her hands. She took Kakashi by the arm and waved a farewell to the boy before leading the man out of the store.

Naruto didn't know how she put up with the stupid jerk but he assumed he was probably very nice to Kurenai-sensei.

He looked down at the chain that was clutched in his hand. Tonight was the night before the big 'meeting' between she and Sasuke and he could tell she was a little nervous, he wanted to get her something to take her mind off of it and when he saw the piece of jewelry he thought it would be perfect for her.

Naruto smiled inwardly. It was a bit much and he knew she wasn't going to want to accept it but he'd just have to make her wouldn't he. After making the purchase he asked to have it gift-wrapped then made his way out of the store and headed for home.

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1. Go here to get an idea of what Krazy-Kakashi is wearing.: http://www.classicgoggles.com/goggles/graphics/00000001/polar%20face%20mask.jpg

Dim Song: I've heard different versions of it somewhere although I can't remember where exactly, but I spun it into my own version and it took a long time to get it right. The part about Earth's fire and Heaven's wind I made up.

Soft_touches: Okay this story is mainly supposed to focus on Naruto x Hinata and Neji x Sasuke but since you hate the story soo much and asked soo nicely I'll probably do a One-Shot based in the same universe after I finish this story. (Sorry to have to make you wait but I like to work on one thing at a time, also you'll need to let me know who Kakashi is to be paired with).

Also, thanks for helping me get over my writer's block. I wasn't planning on using Kakashi anymore in the story but I also needed something to take place between Chapter 25 and the day before Naruto introduces Hinata to Sasuke. ^_^