Hard Love Life

Hidan muttered to himself, rocking back and forth with Zekkou in his arm. He glanced at Kakuzu form, looking at all the equipment that Kakuzu was hooked up to. He sobbed softly and turned back to Zekkou.

"Hidan," Kakuzu croaked out softly.

Hidan jumped. "Kakuzu?" he stood and rushed to his lover, setting Zekkou into a bassinet, "Kakuzu. Why did you do that? Did you even think what killing yourself would do to everyone? I was so scared! Everyone was scared! Leader made it rain so much the lower levels became completely flooded!"

Kakuzu rolled over and coughed up blood. "I deserve death because apparently I'm a bad lover. And a bad person."

"No you're not! Konan was just mad at you. You don't deserve to die either!" Hidan wiped the blood off Kakuzu's face, "I thought you were going to die. I had such dark thoughts."

Kakuzu pulled Hidan into the bed with him, kissing the top of his head.

Hidan clung to Kakuzu. "Did you see all the stuff everyone left? All the get-well cards and little knickknacks. I think Tobi gave you money."

Kakuzu sighed. "As if that would bring me back to life."

"It shows they care! Don't ever think other wise!" Hidan snapped, tucking his head under Kakuzu's chin, "Don't ever think no one cares."

"You don't care." Kakuzu muttered, sighing heavily. "It hurts when you yell at me for stupid stuff Hidan and then run away when I don't do what you want."

"I do care! Kakuzu I'm barely out of my teens! I used to getting my way!" Hidan began to cry into Kakuzu's chest, "I'm sorry! I never should have made you sleep with me! I'm just turning you into a depressed man that would actually leave behind his children just because the person he's married to is a spoiled brat!"

Kakuzu began to stroke Kakuzu's hair. "We should've waited... Maybe... Several decades."

Hidan pressed his head closer to Kakuzu's hand. "I'm sorry. I was so lonely, I wanted something that Jashin couldn't give me. You're not the bad lover. I am."

Kakuzu tried to quiet Hidan. "You're going to make the baby upset."

Hidan hic-upped, letting out a sob. "I'm so sorry for ruining your life."

Kakuzu rubbed Hidan's back, "You didn't ruin my life."

"Yes I did." Hidan said, "Look at you. Trying to kill yourself. I've ruined you."

Kakuzu sighed and rolled over. "I don't... Just... You didn't ruin me."

"Then what have I done?"

"You've made my life better."

"Really?" Hidan asked, "But I ruin everything."

Kakuzu sighed, "You don't. You make things harder sometimes."

"You need to understand Kakuzu. I can't change who I am. I will always run off, but I'll always come back." Hidan sat up and lifted Zekkou out of his bassinet, the small baby dressed in a one-piece bunny sleepwear.

Kakuzu just closed his eyes, curling up a little.

"Daddy’s going to be just fine sweetie." Hidan said pulling the hood down so he could kiss Zekkou's head, "He finally got that bath. He still smells powdery."

Kakuzu smiled, "He' so cute."

"I know. This little outfit is absolutely darling. But he makes it even better." Hidan smiled, "I can't wait for him to smile the first time."

"Absolutely darling? How old are you? Seventy?"

"I can say what I want when I want." Hidan said, holding their son to his chest.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "You sound like my old Aunt Kimiko."

"No I sound like me." Hidan said, pouting, "I am myself and no one else. Isn't that right, you little cutey."

Kakuzu nearly gagged. "I'd rather die then listen to that."

"Listen to what?" Hidan asked.

"The baby talk," Kakuzu muttered.

"What? I'm making him happy." Hidan said, flabbergasted, "He loves it."

Kakuzu grumbled and curled up tightly. "My stomach is killing me."

Hidan grabbed a cup of pills and handed it to Kakuzu along with some water. "Take these. It will stop the pain."

Kakuzu took the pills quickly. "Food."

Hidan pulled out some crackers. "This is all you can eat right now, sorry."

Kakuzu groaned, "I want real food."

"You can't have it." Hidan said, "That's what you get for poisoning yourself."

"Why can't I have it?"

"You're body can't digest it well at the moment." Hidan said, "At least your not on an IV. That could kill your liver."

Kakuzu nodded, "Fine. But when we get out, I want goosefish liver."

"Fine, you can have goosefish liver." Hidan said, handing the crackers to Kakuzu again.

He smirked, "Yes."

Hidan rolled his eyes. "Eat your crackers Kakuzu." he said, sighing.

He began to eat slowly, nuzzling Hidan's head. "Love you."

"I love you too." Hidan said, cuddling Zekkou close, "We all do." Hidan kissed Kakuzu's cheek. "We need to see if the girls have chakra."

Kakuzu nodded, "Later. When I'm not so sle--." He was cut off by a yawn.

"Sleepy?" Hidan asked, smirking, "I was thinking when you were all better."

Kakuzu yawned again, putting down the crackers and passing out again.

Hidan sighed, curling up against Kakuzu. "It's gonna be okay Zekkou, daddy will be fine." he said, kissing the newborn's head.

Kakuzu began to snore and whimper.

Hidan blinked, petting Kakuzu's face to comfort him. "Don't be afraid Kakuzu. I'm right here. Nothing bad is going to happen to you."

Kakuzu snuggled closer to Hidan in his sleep.

Hidan kissed Kakuzu on the lips. After a while he dosed off, snoring.

Kakuzu woke up to Zekkou's crying. "Hidan. The kid's crying."

"Huh?" Hidan lifted his head and looked down at Zekkou, "He needs a new diaper. I'll be right back." He slid off the bed and left.

Kakuzu grunted and pulled the blankets up over his head.

Hidan wandered back in, shushing Zekkou softly. "We're back." Hidan said, smiling, "He made a big stinker." He laughed.

Kakuzu peaked out from under then blankets. "Hm. That's wonderful. Thanks for letting me know when my son has bowel movements."

"I thought parents joked about their babies." Hidan said, sitting in the near by chair.

"Not when the father has the worst stomach ache imaginable."

Hidan sighed. "Eat more crackers. Those pill upset empty stomachs."

Kakuzu nodded and began to eat the crackers, throwing them back up minutes later

Hidan rolled his eyes. "One bite every minute Kakuzu." Hidan said, cleaning his husband off, "Why do you think you didn't throw up the first time? Because you ate little at a time."

"Don't lecture me," Kakuzu growled, biting back calling him a bitch.

"Do you want me in here or not? You obviously need some assistance." Hidan said, scowling.

Kakuzu huffed and rolled face down

Hidan rolled Kakuzu onto his side. "Don't do that okay?"

Kakuzu nodded slightly.

"Okay, now one little bite at a time alright?" Hidan asked, smiling.

Kakuzu nodded again, eating much slower.

Hidan watched him, smiling before pulling out a bottle for Zekkou to nurse on. "Come on. Eat."

He finished the crackers and threw up again.

Hidan sighed again. "You know what? Never mind. Maybe solids are to much for you right now."

Kakuzu groaned. "I'm so hungry."

"I'll make you some soup. Think you can keep that down?" Hidan asked.

He nodded, "Yes..."

"Alright, here, you feed Zekkou while I go get it." Hidan said, handing Zekkou to Kakuzu before leaving.

Kakuzu began to feed Zekkou, smiling down at his son.

Zekkou suckled, his green eyes looking around before resting on Kakuzu.

He looked down into his son's green eyes. "Why hello. You have pretty eyes."

Zekkou's body flexed, soon he'd be able to control his muscles a little better. Then he'd smile at his parents.

He smiled a bit more. "You're so cute."

Seiun poked her head in the room, Acheron’s appearing bellow hers. "Daddy?"

"Hey girls."

"You ogay?" Acheron asked, rubbing her nose.

"I'm fine," Kakuzu said, continuing to feed Zekkou.

"What are you feeding him?" Seiun asked, standing on her tip-toes.

"It's milk... Somewhat."

"How somewhat?" Acheron asked, trying to climb on the bed.

"Just. I don't want to explain."

"Ogay." Acheron said, finally climbing on.

Kakuzu smiled at her.

"Mommy said you got food poisoning." Seiun said, climbing up as well, "What is our brother's name?"

"I did get food poisoning." He looked at Seiun. "His name is Zekkou."

"Perfect." Acheron said, petting her brother's head.

Kakuzu nodded, "Very good."

"I'm back~! I have your soup Kakuzu. It's cream of chicken." Hidan said, coming in with a steaming bowl.

Kakuzu looked over at the door. "Thanks Hidan."

"You're welcome." Hidan said, setting the bowl on the tray, "Eat up and don’t up chuck it."

He began to eat slowly, almost moaning from the taste of food.

Hidan took Zekkou back. "Why don't you two go sit in that chair over there?" Hidan asked the girls. They nodded and took a seat. "For someone who worries about their weight, you sure love food."

"I haven't eaten in days, asshole."

"Don't say that in front of the kids." Hidan said, patting Zekkou’s back to help him burp if he needed to do so.

He sighed and continued to eat.

After a bit Zekkou belched, Hidan shaking his head in wonder. "He burps like an old man." he said as the girls giggled.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and grinned.

Hidan stood and began pacing, humming softly. "Keep it down okay Kakuzu? You too Zekkou."

Kakuzu finished his soup and laid back against the bed.

Hidan placed Zekkou back in the bassinet. "I'm going to make the girls some lunch, can you be here on your own Kakuzu?"

Kakuzu nodded, "I should be fine."

Hidan smiled and took the girls off, the three of them chatting.

He sighed and fell asleep.

After a while Zekkou began to cry, desperate for attention.

He jerked awake, looking at the bassinet, running over to comfort his son.

Zekkou crying subsided to loud whimpering. He kicked his feet once before settling down completely. He loved attention.

He walked over to the bed, cuddling the baby.

Zekkou squirmed in Kakuzu's arms. The newborn yawned, making a squeaking sound as he did so.

Kakuzu grinned, "Who's a cutie?"

Zekkou's eye's darted to his father's face before squealing in delight. He cooed softly, giggling afterward.

He grinned, tickling under his chin. "Who's a good boy?"

The newborn laughed again, looking up at Kakuzu with happy eyes. He calmed down and just looked at Kakuzu then, though his father was very blurry because he still could not focus on anything.

He began to blow raspberries on Zekkou's stomach, grinning slightly.

Hidan, who had been watching for a while, finally opened the door. "He has more fun with you then me." Hidan said, not sounding at all jealous, "You are his daddy so I guess I should expect that."

Kakuzu looked up and Hidan and coughed. "Uhh....."

"Don't be ashamed." Hidan said, smiling smugly at his husband, "He's a baby. Our baby, we'll act like fools."

Kakuzu nuzzled Zekkou.

"How much do you love him?" Hidan asked, obviously teasing Kakuzu.

"More than you~."

Hidan pouted, snatching Zekkou away. "Now you can't hold him." Hidan said playfully.

Kakuzu huffed, "No fair"

Hidan crawled onto the bed and sat next to Kakuzu. "You have to hold both of us."

Kakuzu pulled Hidan into his lap and held him.

Hidan smiled smugly, nuzzling Kakuzu's chest as he rubbed Zekkou's back. "I love you." he said, kissing Kakuzu's neck.

"I love you too," Kakuzu murmured, rubbing Hidan's thighs.

Hidan puffed some hair out of his face, watching Kakuzu's hands. "What does my skin feel like?" he asked, kissing Zekkou’s head.

"It feels soft. Like silk." He moved his hands a bit farther up, ghosting over Hidan's crotch. "It's a bit rougher here though."

Hidan squirmed under Kakuzu's touch, holding Zekkou closer to him. "I would think it would be soft there too." he said, kissing his baby’s cheek.

"It's still soft, just not as soft," He said, brushing his hand against it a bit more.

"What are you doing Kakuzu?" Hidan asked, gasping softly.

He smirked. "Girls. Take your brother to Aunty Konan's room."

Hidan looked over at he door where Seiun and Acheron were now standing. He blushed as he placed Zekkou into the bassinet and had the to girls wheeled him out. "How long were they there?" he asked.

"Who cares?" Kakuzu slipped his hand into Hidan's pants. "You like it?" He began to pump Hidan's member slowly.

"Y-yes." Hidan choked out as Kakuzu began to touch him, "I always do, but why are you doing this?" Hidan grabbed his pants and pulled them down to free himself.

Kakuzu kissed down Hidan's neck. "I think Deidara put Viagra into my IV drip."

Hidan shivered in pleasure. "Well I won't hurt him if he did." he said, arching his back as he watched Kakuzu touch him, "Want me to be myself? A kid? I don't really care." Hidan rubbed his ass against Kakuzu groin.

Kakuzu smirked, "I dunno. A kid for old times sake?"

"Alright." Hidan said, forming the necessary hand signs. When he was a child he snuggled into Kakuzu's chest. "So, you going to touch me more?"

Kakuzu continued to touch Hidan.

Hidan squirmed a bit more, spreading his legs as he ran his fingers over his chest. "Hmm. How soft is my skin down there now?" he asked, his rear still rubbing against Kakuzu's groin.

"Still a bit rough," Kakuzu said, grabbing Hidan's hands and guiding it to his member, "See?"

Hidan ran his fingers over his small member. "No. Maybe I should touch it more." he said, pumping himself, "Haa, I don't know, it feels pretty smooth." Hidan gasped softly, pumping himself faster.

"Not as smooth as your skin..." Kakuzu helped Hidan pump himself.

Hidan rolled over and nuzzled Kakuzu's chest. "You sure you’re up to sex?" he asked, looking at him worriedly.

Kakuzu nodded, pulling Hidan close to him. "I need this sex."

"Okay, if you're sure." Hidan crawled up Kakuzu chest and kissed him, easily tugging off his hospital gown, "Heathen." He began to kiss down Kakuzu's chest.

Kakuzu smirked and sent out a thread to lock the door so no one would come in. He ran his hands down Hidan's little sides. "I want you."

Hidan blushed, sitting on Kakuzu's thighs. "Okay, wait just a bit." he said, grabbing Kakuzu's member and pumping it. He leaned down licked the head slowly.

Kakuzu let out a soft moan when Hidan licked the head of his member. "Ah, feels nice..."

Hidan smiled and opened his mouth, trying to take Kakuzu into his mouth. He made a few noises, taking the head of Kakuzu's member into his mouth and trying to take in even more.

Kakuzu grunted, "Don't force yourself."

Hidan pulled away, licking his lips. "I love your meat." he said, looking at Kakuzu seductively. He got on his feet, standing over Kakuzu. "You want in?"

"Only if you want me in," Kakuzu said, grabbing onto Hidan's member.

Hidan sneered. "Of course I want you in me." he said, slowly lowering himself. Hidan bit his lip as he slid Kakuzu inside himself. "Kind of hurts."

Kakuzu watched Hidan as he slowly slid down on him. "That's because you're so small."

"Yeah, well you like it right?" Hidan asked, pouting as he began to move up and down, "Nice and tight." He moaned softly.

Kakuzu's eyes were glued to Hidan. "Very..... Very... Tight."

"Am I so much fun to look at?" Hidan asked, rocking his hips. He yawed, stretching until his back popped "So, how are you taking to fatherhood 'Kuzu?" Hidan asked, beginning to control the thrusting again.

"You are that much fun," Kakuzu said, licking his lips. He sat up a bit and pressed Hidan against the bed so he could thrust. "Let's not talk about that now. I don't want to think of my son while I'm having sex."

Hidan gasped, his back arching off the bed. "Fair enough." he said, gripping Kakuzu's hips with his legs, unable to wrap them around the elder's waist because of his small size, "Faster, and go as hard as you can."

Kakuzu nodded and began to thrust quickly and roughly, as much as a he could to please his child uke. "Like this?"

"Yes~ just like that." Hidan moaned, smiling happily. He grabbed his legs and held them to his chest, panting heavily. "How young can a boy be before you are totally put off by the thought of sleeping with them?"

Kakuzu grasped tightened onto Hidan's hips, leaving bruises as he thrusted. "He has to be seven or younger."

The albino nodded in confirmation, raking his nails down Kakuzu's chest as his orgasm approached. "Fuck~!" Hidan gasped before wailing, coming to a satisfying orgasm.

Kakuzu grinned when he brought his tiny lover to an orgasm, continuing on, not yet even close to orgasm.

Hidan squirmed, whining loudly. "Kakuzu~! Don't-." he screwed his eyes shut, squeaking every time Kakuzu thrust inside him.

Kakuzu still continued on anyways, making sure that he reached his orgasm as well, even though that was far away.

Hidan bit his fingers as he continued to whine. Kakuzu was just so large now that every thrust felt so good, too good actually. He arched his back again as he came for a second time, thrashing on the bed.

Finally, Kakuzu came three minutes after Hidan's second orgasm.

Hidan panted, licking up the blood that had come from the deep scratches he left on Kakuzu's chest. "Have fun?"

Kakuzu finally realized his wounds and hissed in pain. "I had a lot of fun."

"Sorry for the scratches." Hidan said, trying to push Kakuzu off him, "Glad you did. So did I."

Kakuzu pulled out of him and laid back on the hospital bed, pulling the blankets over himself.

"Is it okay if I stay like this for a bit?" Hidan asked, crawling next to Kakuzu.

Kakuzu nodded, pulling Hidan close to his chest.

Hidan nuzzled Kakuzu, sighing contently. "I love you and your pedoness."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes, "Love you too Hidan."

Hidan gave Kakuzu a small kiss, smiling happily. "Are you happy with your role of fatherhood?" he asked again.

Kakuzu kiss back softly, huffing when Hidan pulled away, "Quite happy."

"What? You want more kisses?" Hidan asked, looking like an innocent child, "Do you?"

"Yes. Kiss me everywhere."

"I can't kiss you everywhere. Then you'd want more sex." Hidan said, pouting.

Kakuzu huffed, "You know what I mean."

"Oral right?" Hidan asked, drawling his voice, "Or do you really only want kisses?"

"I really only want kisses," Kakuzu said, looking down at Hidan.

Hidan smiled, leaning up and slowly kissing Kakuzu all over his face. "Do you want even more?"

Kakuzu nodded, "Mmm. Yeah."

Hidan gave Kakuzu one last kiss. "There. Is that good enough?" he asked, pulling on his too-big pants.

He nodded, "Your pants are huge."

"I know. " Hidan said, rolling up the pant's legs and tying the sash tighter around him, "I am a kid right now."

Kakuzu sighed, "Why are you getting dressed anyways?"

"Because I feel cold." Hidan said, shivering to prove his point."

Kakuzu pulled the blankets down so Hidan could get in.

Hidan crawled next to Kakuzu and pulled up the covers. "It's warm under here." he said, stating the obvious.

"Maybe it's sex heat?"

Hidan rolled his eyes. "Maybe it is."

Kakuzu sighed, "I'm tired. How can you not be? You had two orgasms."

"I don't want more sex." Hidan said.

"I wasn't saying that you did, I was wondering how you're not tired."

"I am tired." Hidan said, "Tired and cold."

Kakuzu held Hidan to him, trying to warm Hidan up.

Hidan yawned, snuggling closer to Kakuzu before falling asleep.

Kakuzu also fell asleep.

Hidan awoke to banging on the door. He whined shrilly. "Go away~!" he said, placing his head back on Kakuzu's stomach.

Kakuzu grumbled and through a bible at the door.

Hidan sighed and crawled out of the bed, walking to the door. "Who is it?" he asked, pouting, "Get lost shark!" Hidan dashed back to the bed and darted under the covers. "It's Kisame."

Kakuzu growled and walked to the door, stark naked. "Go. Leave. Shark."

"I don't need to see that." Kisame said, glaring at Kakuzu.

"You like it. You know it," Kakuzu said, smirking slightly. "You're jealous because mine's bigger."

"Bigger isn't always better." Kisame said, scowling at Kakuzu, "So what perverse things are you making Hidan do right now?"

"Bigger is always better. And I know what to do with it." Kakuzu said plainly, folding his arms across his chest. "Why do you want to know? So you can jack off to it later?"

"No, so I can ruin you with your sick fetishes." Kisame said, flashing his sharp teeth.

Kakuzu glared at Kisame, "You're the suck fuck, you know that Kisame?"

"No. My sex life is very normal. I don't have Itachi turn into a woman. Oh, you didn't know did you? We got together a month ago." Kisame said, looking past Kakuzu, "It sounded like you made Hidan turn into a little kid."

"I don't make Hidan do anything. It's consensual, first of all. And that's great for you, your dick has a place to go at night." Kakuzu closed the door a little bit more. "Do you mind?"

"It still sounded like he was a kid." Kisame said, "No I don't, what are you doing in there? Dissecting him and jerking off on his organs?" He turned a blue green at the thought.

Kakuzu made a secret hand motion that he knew Kisame couldn't see to tell Hidan to turn back into an adult. "That's disgusting. Only you would think of that."

"No, only Zetsu would think of that, then tell everyone that you two are doing it." Kisame said, stepping away, "Have a nice nap. I know I can't. With your new kid crying so much." With that Kisame left.

"Is he gone?" Hidan asked, hiding under the covers.

Kakuzu sighed, "Go get Zekkou. He's not getting enough attention and I need my rest."

Hidan nodded and slid out of the bed, turning back into an adult. "Bye Kakuzu." he said, leaving.

"See you later," Kakuzu climbed back into the bed and fell asleep again.

Hidan returned two hours later, Zekkou strapped to his back and a bowl of clam chowder in his hands. "Kakuzu~! Lunch time."

Kakuzu blinked awake and looked over at Hidan. "Hey... Thanks. How's the kids?"

"The kids are fine." Hidan said, smiling as he handed the bowl to Kakuzu, "Seiun and Acheron are playing dress-up right now."

Kakuzu nodded, "Our son is probably going to grow up to be gay..." He took the bowl and began eating.

"I believe that it's nature that determines if you’re gay or not." Hidan said, smiling as he took Zekkou off his back, "Hi sweetie."

Kakuzu nodded, "I hope he doesn't turn out gay."

"Why is it so bad for Zekkou to be gay?" Hidan asked.

"Well, you see what happens to us, most of the time being out in public gets us odd stares, and it's not that I care, but he might."

"I'm normally a woman when we go out." Hidan said, "So I never notice."

Kakuzu began to eat slowly.

Hidan kissed Zekkou's cheek before wiping off his drool. "Zekkou you will be a great ninja and Jashinist." Hidan said, "You won't have to worry about killing people and the rituals for a long time. Only when you’re ready."

"What if he's never ready?"

"Then he'll just pray then." Hidan said, smiling as Zekkou giggled.

Kakuzu shifted slightly. "I'm lonely over here Hidan."

Hidan stood and walked to Kakuzu, sitting in the chair next to the bed. "Better?"

Kakuzu nodded, "Much better."

Hidan smiled proudly. "He is going to be the best." Hidan said, "You think he's old enough to enjoy peek-a-boo?"

"That he will," Kakuzu said, "I do believe he will enjoy peek-a-boo."

Hidan began to play peek-a-boo with Zekkou, pulling his blanket over his head and then pulling it away. Zekkou loved it.

Kakuzu laughed a little as well. "That's adorable."

"I wish he could smile." Hidan said sadly, nuzzling the newborn, "It would make me so happy. But he can't just yet."

"We all wish he could smile."

"It will look so silly. He won't have any teeth." Hidan said, laughing softly.

"I know," Kakuzu chuckled slightly.

"How is your soup?"

"Delicious."

"I made it from scratch." Hidan said.

"You're good Hidan." Kakuzu huffed, the bed feeling bare without Hidan still.

Hidan smiled knowingly, crawling onto the bed. "Happy?"

Kakuzu nodded, pulling Hidan into his lap and smiling.

"Do you regret any of this Kakuzu?" Hidan asked, picking at a stitch on his chest.

"Not one thing," Kakuzu said.

"Good." Hidan said, kissing Zekkou's hand.

Kakuzu kissed Hidan's forehead.

Hidan smiled, curling up against his husband. "I love you, you bastard." he said.

"I love you too, you brat," Kakuzu said, nuzzling him.

"I'm the best brat however." Hidan said, flashing his teeth.

"That you are. You're also my brat," Kakuzu said.

Hidan chuckled and kissed Zekkou's hand. "I can't get over how much I love him."

"We both love him so much..."

"Yeah." Hidan mumbled, not wanting to go into a who-loves-him-more talk, "He's my baby."

Kakuzu stroked Hidan's hair. ".....He's our baby."

"I saying mine as in I gave birth to him." Hidan said.

Kakuzu shrugged, "What ever."

"I gave birth to this." Hidan said proudly, lifting Zekkou into the air to look at him.

Kakuzu smiled, "Yes you did."

"I have a sudden urge to dress him up."

"No. I'm not going to let you be one of those parents."

"But I want to dress him up~!" Hidan whined.

"No. You're not going to make my son look like a fag."

"Dress him up in boy's clothes stupid." Hidan snapped.

Kakuzu huffed, "You're such a loser."

"I am not." Hidan said, scrambling off the bed to the chair farthest away from Kakuzu.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "Get over it Hidan."

"No." the albino snapped, kissing Zekkou’s head.

"And you wonder why I tried to kill myself?"

Hidan flinched, turning away from Kakuzu. "Shut up."

"That's what I thought."

Hidan muttered, looking Zekkou sadly, "It wasn't my fault. Don't blame me."

"It was your fault."

"It was Konan who pushed you to do it."

"You started it."

"I'm going to go play with the girls." Hidan said, standing up and leaving the room, on the verge of tears at what Kakuzu had said.

Kakuzu sighed and rolled over in the bed, curling up into a ball.

Hidan came back quickly, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Do you like making me feel like crap?!" He snapped, holding a crying Zekkou to his chest, "You sure do it a lot! Blaming me for you almost killing yourself! I didn't do anything!"

"You act like this all the time! It drives me crazy! You make me do things that I don't want to do! You NEVER take my opinion into consideration. OR my feelings. It's just YOU YOU YOU!"

"Well that pretty small compared to trying to get me pregnant when I said I wasn't ready!" Hidan snapped, stomping his foot.

"Bull shit."

“What do you want from me?! If you hate how I treat you then divorce me!" Hidan said loudly, "There are some things you never blame someone for."

"Maybe we should get divorced then," He said coolly, giving a glare to Hidan.

"You want to divorce me?" Hidan asked, trembling, "But, I gave you a son."

"You're not happy with me."

"I am, I just don't like it when you say things like that." Hidan sighed, "Where did today go wrong?"

Kakuzu turned away from Hidan. "I'll have the papers made up by Friday."

"But, Kakuzu I love you! I thought you loved me too!" Hidan yelled, "I don't want to divorce you!"

"We're just not compatible. I do love you but we're miserable together."

"I won't sign them! I'll tear them up."

"Then I'll just leave. You'll be happier without me."

"No I wouldn't! Kakuzu there is only you!" Hidan said, "Please don't leave me alone!"

"You would be!" Kakuzu said, "You know it! Don't deny it!"

"I would not be happy." Hidan said, "I would be miserable."

"You would be. I'm a bad person. Konan told me so."

"You're not bad to me. You say mean things sometimes but you’re not a bad person." Hidan said, "Who cares what Konan said."

Kakuzu sighed and curled up tighter.

"Do you really want to leave me?"

"No... I really don't."

"Then don't get the papers." Hidan said, smiling. Kakuzu would never leave him.

"I will kill you someday."

"I'd like to see you try." Hidan said, shushing Zekkou as he sat back down on the chair.

"I know." Kakuzu said, "I will find a way."

"Why would you want to kill me?" Hidan asked, not feeling at all angry.

"Because I can."

"It's stupid to kill someone you love." Hidan said, smiling at Kakuzu, "You’re trying to make me angry so I'll divorce you. It's not working."

"No I'm not. I want to kill you so you won't be alone."

"I don't understand."

"You wouldn't."

"You wouldn't be with me. I'd be alone." Hidan pointed out.

"You'd be with Jashin then. I can deal with hell by myself. You can't deal with earth by yourself."

"I don't want him. I want to be with you." Hidan said, "I would be miserable everywhere if you weren't with me."

Kakuzu sighed and gave up.

Hidan blew a kiss at Kakuzu. "I love you."

Kakuzu didn't say anything.

Hidan's smile saddened a bit, "You want to watch Zekkou for a bit? I'm going to get you some cranberry juice."

Kakuzu nodded, sitting up in bed.

Hidan handed Zekkou to Kakuzu and gave his husband a quick kiss. "I'll be right back."

Kakuzu took Zekkou and began to play with him.

"I'll pull in a fold out bed into our room. You get the king all to yourself." Hidan said, turning around and leaving.

Kakuzu raised a brow before shrugging it off and playing with Zekkou.

Hidan returned, a large glass of juice in his hands. "I have your juice Kakuzu." he said, setting on the bedside table, "Kakuzu, don't try to push me away."

Kakuzu took the glass, "Thank you." He looked at Hidan. "I'm not trying to do anything.

"Okay." Hidan said, giving Kakuzu another kiss, "I love you."

"I love you too Hidan."

Hidan smiled. "Thank you." he said.

"You're welcome."

Hidan crawled into bed with Kakuzu, taking Zekkou. "I love you too baby."

Kakuzu sighed and began to drink.

Hidan snuggled close to his husband. "I'll try to be more considerate."

Kakuzu grunted, ignoring Hidan.

Hidan's throat tightened. "Do you not want me here? I'll leave if you want."

"Do whatever you want Hidan... I'm just depressed."

"What will make you happy?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, alright." Hidan said, rolling over so he was facing away from Kakuzu.

Kakuzu wrapped his arms around Hidan.

"I'm sorry." Hidan said, "What ever I did I'm sorry for doing it."

"You didn't do anything."

"Sure." Hidan said, kissing Zekkou again. "Stop pushing me away."

Kakuzu nodded, "Fine."

Hidan sighed and rolled back over to face Kakuzu. "How is the juice?”

"Good," Kakuzu said,

"What soup do you want for dinner?"

"Anything."

"Onion soup maybe?" Hidan asked, "Miso? clam chowder? One of the three."

"Miso please."

"Alright. Miso it is." Hidan said, smiling, "Want me to make it from scratch?"

"I don't care."

"The girls want a puppy." Hidan said suddenly, groaning.

"No."

"I know. I don't want to get one either. I like cats."

"Just tell them I said no."

"Alright." Hidan said, curling up against Kakuzu.

Kakuzu sighed and stroked Hidan's hair.

Hidan leaned into Kakuzu's hand, almost purring. "Scratch my head please. It feels good."

He began to scratch Hidan's head.

Hidan shivered, groaning softly. "Yes. I love it."

He scratched a bit harder.

Hidan sighed, a loopy grin on his face. "This feels great." he said leaning into Kakuzu's hand.

"This is so wrong."

"What? Why?" Hidan asked, "You're just scratching my head."

"It's just that you seemed so turned on by it."

"It feels nice. I'm not turned on by it." Hidan said, pouting.

"Sure as hell seems like it."

"I have no erection." Hidan said, "I just like it a lot. My mom used to do it, so I don't find it sexual."

"I could change that," Kakuzu said teasingly.

"Yes you could, but I'd rather it not." Hidan said, chuckling, "Here, take him for a bit. I'm going to turn into a lactating woman so I can breast feed him."

Kakuzu nodding, taking Zekkou from Hidan.

Hidan formed a series of hand signs, finally taking Zekkou back and holding him to his left breast. "Come on sweetie. Time to eat." he said, smiling as Zekkou latched on and began to suckle.

"What is the significance of breast feeding?"

"I give him antibodies and it strengthens the bond between mother and child." Hidan said.

Kakuzu shrugged and stopped caring.

Hidan leaned against Kakuzu. "I love you."

Kakuzu stroked Hidan's hair. "Love you too."

"I want him to smile so bad." Hidan said, petting Zekkou's head.

"Get over it."

Hidan stuck his tongue out at Kakuzu. "How about I tell you that next time you complain?" he asked.

"Fine with me."

"You won't like it." Hidan said, "Trust me."

"I don't like you saying how much you want our son to smile."

"Get over it." Hidan said, smiling.

"Whatever Hidan."

"See? You don't like it." Hidan said, kissing Kakuzu's arm.

Kakuzu sighed and kissed Hidan's forehead.

"Sorry I'm annoying, but it's who I am." Hidan said, pouting cutely.

"And I happened to marry it."

"But it gives you awesome sex."

"Sometimes I don't want sex."

"It still gives you awesome sex when you want it." Hidan said, "Why are we calling me 'it'?"

"You started calling you an it."

"No you called me 'it' first." Hidan said, pouting.

"Fine. I did. Get over it."

"You suck." Hidan said.

"I know I do."

"You suck dick." Hidan said, "My dick. Cunt too, which is also mine."

"I know. And both are quite delicious."

"Why thank you. Your dick tastes good too." Hidan said, licking his lips, pulling Zekkou away from his breast and setting him on his shoulder to burp him.

"Mm. You should taste it soon again..."

"Oh really?" Hidan asked, Zekkou finally burping.

"Mhm...

"Is this some discreet way to tell me to give you oral?" Hidan asked.

"Possibly."

"So, do you want it?"

"Maybe."

Hidan climbed out of bed and put Zekkou into his little bed. "I'm not doing anything on a maybe."

"Yes."

Hidan rolled his eyes and climbed under the covers. "So, mouth or breasts first?"

"Can you be a guy?"

"Kay." Hidan undid Kakuzu's fly, muttering before taking the organ in his mouth and roughly sucking on the head. When was he going to get oral again damn it?!

Kakuzu tossed back his head and moaned.

Hidan rolled his eyes, rubbing the elder's thighs as he sucked even harder. Finally, he grabbed Kakuzu's hands and set them on his head, signaling Kakuzu to do all the work.

Kakuzu huffed and began to move Hidan's head quickly and roughly.

Hidan squeezed his shut, closing his mouth around Kakuzu's member and continued to suck. He didn’t' really like it like this, but damn it he really didn't want to give Kakuzu oral right now. The door was unlocked and Zekkou was there so why would he?

Kakuzu finally found release and panted, relaxing against the bed. "Swallow."

Hidan complied, swallowing before moving to lay next to Kakuzu. "Have fun?" he asked, huffing.

Kakuzu nodded and kissed Hidan's head. "I love you... And I'll pay you back. Don't worry."

"Thanks." Hidan said, sighing and rubbing his neck, "My neck is stiff."

Kakuzu rubbed at Hidan's neck for him. "Want a massage?"

"Yes please~!" Hidan said, smiling.

"Lie on your stomach."

Hidan nodded, rolling over. "M'kay. Ready 'Kuzu."

Kakuzu straddled Hidan's back and began to rub out the kinks from the blowjob.

Hidan groaned softly. "That is nice." he drawled, stretching.

Kakuzu slowly moved down to Hidan's shoulder blades, making sure not to miss a muscle.

Hidan slowly fell asleep, beginning to snore.

Kakuzu smiled and tucked Hidan in, crawling into bed beside him, wrapping his arms tightly around him.

Hidan snuggled into Kakuzu's chest, his dream beginning to turn naughty.

Kakuzu looked at Hidan, stroking his hair softly.

Hidan's cheeks grew red and moan, his legs rubbing together and his member began to harden. "Kakuzu~..."

Kakuzu looked down at Hidan when he said his name, smirking deviously. He snuck under the covers and took the head of Hidan's member into his mouth.

Hidan moaned again, clutching the bed sheets. His hips lurched into Kakuzu mouth as his legs spreading apart.

Kakuzu gagged heavily and held Hidan's into place. He began to suck softly on Hidan's member, wanting him to be happy.

Hidan whined, his back lifting off the bed. "Fuck." Hidan mumbled, squirming on the bed for a bit before coming into Kakuzu's mouth.

Kakuzu swallowed and popped back up from under the covers, snuggling next to Hidan.

Hidan curled up, sighing contently. "Kakuzu."

"You were awake?"

Hidan remained quiet, beginning to snore again. He was still asleep.

Kakuzu shook his head and smiled, beginning to stroke his hair again.

Zekkou began to whimper, kicking his feet in the air.

Kakuzu quickly went to the crib, picking up Zekkou.

Zekkou continued to fuss, his whimpers turning into whines. He finally grew quiet and glanced around the room before looking up at Kakuzu, beginning to giggle.

Kakuzu smiled down at Zekkou, trying to quiet his giggles. "Shhh. Shhh. Mama needs to sleep.”

Zekkou squirmed for a bit, flexing his little hand as he looked around again.

Some one knocked on the door. "I have a mission for you two."

He looked at the door. "What?!"

"I have a mission for you and Hidan Kakuzu."

Kakuzu growled, "What is it?!"

"Major assassination. Multiple targets. They are all worth a lot of money dead."

Kakuzu thought for a moment, "And estimated time?"

"Two weeks."

"Hmph. Who's going to watch Zekkou and the girls?"

"Konan and I, I'll start the girls' training."

He sighed, "Fine, fine..."

"What's going on Kakuzu?" Hidan asked, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"We have a mission."

"Oh really?" Hidan asked smiling, "Do I get to kill a bunch of people?"

"Assassination, multiple targets."

"Yay~!" Hidan cheered, yawning, "I also get my clothes back."

"Yeah..."

"Something wrong Kakuzu?" Hidan asked, pouting.

"Well, I don't want to leave Zekkou for two weeks."

"Well then lets go fast." Hidan said, smiling, "And Konan just loves him. He'll be fine."

Kakuzu sighed. "Not fair."

"What? The mission?"

"I told you, assassination."

"I know that, but what's not fair?" Hidan asked.

"Yes, it is the mission."

Hidan sighed. "You need to kill someone. It will make you feel much better." Hidan stood up and stretched, "I'm getting my clothes."

Kakuzu sighed, "I'll go with you..."

"You need help outta bed?" Hidan asked.

"No. I've got it."

Hidan stepped away from the bed and placed Kakuzu's clothes on the chair. "Okay., just tell me if you do."

Kakuzu changed into clothes, grumbling quietly to himself.

"Don't worry Kakuzu, we'll be out in fresh air and getting exercise. We both need it. My muscles are going away." Hidan said, flexing his bicep, which was much smaller.

Kakuzu nodded quietly, looking at Zekkou. "We need to get him to Konan."

"Alright, I need to go to Konan after all." Hidan said, gently taking Zekkou from Kakuzu.

Kakuzu huffed and began to the front door.

"We'll be back in no time Kakuzu." Hidan said, passing Konan in the hall way and stuffing Zekkou into her arms.

Kakuzu groaned, "I know... But still." He took Zekkou from Konan and slapped her across the face, "Cunt." He stomped past her and dropped Zekkou of with Tobi and Deidara.

"What the hell?! Why did you slap her! Leader is going to be pissed! She's going to send he fucking paper on you! That shit hurts!" Hidan snapped, "You slapped my friend!"

"I also called her a cunt, don't forget that."

"Why did you do that?!" Hidan snapped.

"She made me try to kill myself."

"She's still my friend!" Hidan said, glaring at Kakuzu's back.

"I don't care if she's your friend or not."

"Do you always have to do something that pisses me off? I want her to watch him."

"And I don't."

"Deidara has explosives and Sasori is covered in poison! Tobi is to childish!" Hidan said, "That is not a safe environment."

"And Konan will probably give tell the kid what a bad father he has!"

"He can't understand anything we say." Hidan said.

"I don't care...!"

"So you want our baby to lose a hand or slowly melt inside?!"

"Deidara and Sasori always take care of the girls!"

"Fine. I guess I'm just being stupid because this is the child we made with god damned fucking love." Hidan snapped, stomping into their room.

Kakuzu growled, "HERE YOU GO AGAIN, NOT CARING HOW I FEEL."

"We'll you're not caring how I feel right now." Hidan said, pulling on his Akatsuki uniform and then packing his things.

"You know I don't like Konan. Do you want me to kill myself again?"

"No I don't, but even then I'm just being uncaring, like I always am" Hidan said.

"Whatever Hidan..."

"Whatever indeed." Hidan said, taking off his wedding ring and setting it in a drawer, "I'm leaving this here. I don't want to loose it."

Kakuzu looked at the wedding ring. "Oh... That's a… That's a good idea."

"Put yours in here too." Hidan said.

He reluctantly took off his ring, secretly giving it a soft kiss before placing it in the drawer.

Hidan closed the drawer. "Kay, my things are packed. You next."

Kakuzu packed slowly.

"I'll go get a bunch of soup for you." Hidan said, leaving.

Kakuzu sighed, finishing packing and sitting on the bed.

Hidan came back with a few cans. "Alright, this is all we have. Lets get going now kay?" he asked, putting the cans in his bag.

"Okay..." Kakuzu stood. "Can we go see Zekkou before we go?"

"Sure." Hidan said, placing his bag under his cloak, his scythe already in place.

Kakuzu pulled on his mask, going to Deidara’s room.

"You came to see him right, un?" Deidara asked, holding Zekkou, "Here he is." Deidara took he newborns hand and had him wave good-bye.

Hidan waved back, "Bye sweetie, we'll be back soon."

Kakuzu waved back as well. "See you later hun."

Hidan stood up and trotted down the hallway. "Take good care of him!"

Kakuzu followed Hidan.

Hidan sighed, tightening the knot of his headband. "Can't wait to kill some people."

"Nor can I."

"You want to kill some people?" Hidan asked.

"Not really....."

"Then don't say you do."

"Just shut up Hidan."

Hidan scowled. "So, where are we going?"

Kakuzu shrugged, "Lighting country... I think. Now shut up."

"I don't wanna~!" Hidan said in a sing-song voice.

Kakuzu stopped talking.

"You are no fun." Hidan said, pouting.

Kakuzu shrugged.

"I love you~!"

Kakuzu glared at Hidan.

"I can't say I love you?" Hidan asked.

"Shh."

"What?"

"Quiet."

Hidan mouthed 'why'.

"Because... I want quiet."

Hidan pouted and blew a razzberry.

"Really mature."

Hidan flipped Kakuzu off, pouting.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

Hidan quickly grasped Kakuzu's hand, they were now leaving Amegakure, and treading over the water that surrounded it.

He looked down at their hands.

Hidan struggled, his feet under the surface of the water. He whimpered, knowing the water here was really deep.

He picked up Hidan.

Hidan gasped. "I want to walk! I need to get better at that."

Kakuzu sighed, "Fine, fine."

Hidan surged chakra into his feet and once again began to walk, still clinging to Kakuzu's hand.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"I don't want to sink." Hidan said, "I'll be so deep you won't be able to get me."

Kakuzu sighed, "I understand."

Hidan nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. This was why he never really learned to swim. He wasn't always afraid, but he still didn't know how to swim when he wasn't. Now if he sank to the bottom, he would remain alive and be down there forever.

"I won't let you drown."

"Thank you Kakuzu." Hidan said, nuzzling Kakuzu's arm.

Kakuzu smiled slightly.

They finally reached dry land; Hidan sitting down and trying to dry his feet so he wouldn't get trench foot.

Kakuzu did the same.

"You ever get trench foot?" Hidan asked, wiggling his toes.

"Nope, not once."

"I have. It's a bitch. It never got so far that my feet turned blue, but it was still a bitch." Hidan said.

"Ah, I see."

Hidan ringed out his sandals and then put them back on. "Kay, lets go."

Kakuzu stood and began to run.

Hidan ran after Kakuzu, coming to a dead stop from time to time when his scythe got caught on something. They normally fucking walked for fuck's sake.

Kakuzu looked over his shoulder, not finding Hidan behind him.

Hidan cursed. "Ass. This is fucking ass. Let go of my scythe you bitch of a tree."

Kakuzu began to backtrack.

Hidan had undone his scythe so he could try to pull it out. "Damn... Damn..." Hidan lost his grip and fell back, "Damn damn!"

Kakuzu found Hidan on the ground. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to get my scythe unstuck." Hidan said, pouting and crossing his arms.

Kakuzu easily pulled out the scythe and threw it at Hidan.

Hidan caught his weapon. "That tree is an ass."

Kakuzu shrugged and began to run.

Hidan grumbled and followed, having better luck with running.

They traveled for a day and a half before Kakuzu to take their first break.

Hidan collapsed on the ground. "I could sleep for a week." he cried out.

"Too bad you're not."

"Can I have more then five hours?"

"No."

"I won't be of any use if not." Hidan said, pouting.

"Fine."

"Yay!" Hidan said crawling over to Kakuzu and using his lap as a pillow.

Kakuzu sighed and stroked Hidan's hair.

"Wake me up when it's time to eat." Hidan said, falling asleep.

Kakuzu nodded and stroked Hidan's hair as he slept.

Hidan awoke to his head still on his lap. "You haven' started yet?" he asked, "Or have I not been asleep that long?"

Kakuzu looked down at Hidan. "No... I fell asleep too."

"Oh." Hidan said, sitting up, "Can I go get the food? You always do it."

Kakuzu nodded, "Sure."

Hidan stood and left behind his scythe as he trudged off. He didn't know why he was doing the gathering and hunting, he did hate it after all.

Kakuzu waited for Hidan to come back, slipping off his pants and beginning to pump himself slowly.

Hidan gathered what ever he could, not even knowing what was edible but Kakuzu would know so whatever. He was lucky at getting some meat however, a deer. Hidan walked back. "Kakuzu did you start a fire... Oh hell." he said, seeing what Kakuzu was doing, "I'm not having sex with you."

Kakuzu looked up at Hidan. "Please?"

"Kakuzu, unlike you, I'm tired and hungry." Hidan said, dropping the dear as well as the bag full of random fungus and plants.

"Just a quickie?" Kakuzu asked, looking up at Hidan. "Please?"

Hidan glared at Kakuzu. “Fine, but let it be known you can't complain how I beg you for sex when you don't want it." he said, tugging off his pants and walking over to Kakuzu and sitting on Kakuzu's lap."

"This is my first time begging for sex. You've done it like 10 times," Kakuzu said, pulling Hidan into a soft kiss.

"You can't complain about it anymore because you’re begging me now." Hidan said, standing back up and pressing against a near by tree, "Well come on. I better get at least ten hours of fucking sleep you hear me?"

Kakuzu whimpered when Hidan got up. "No, come back here..."

"Me riding you takes to long. I cum faster this way." Hidan said, hitching up his cloak, "Come on, you can't be that tired."

Kakuzu huffed and walked over to Hidan. "can we at least have a little foreplay?"

Hidan groaned, slamming his head against the bark. "This is so not turning out to be a quickie." he said, "Fine, foreplay me."

Kakuzu sighed and just thrust into Hidan, beginning to go fast and quick, reaching around and pumping Hidan.

Hidan grunted as Kakuzu thrust inside him. He bit his lip as Kakuzu began to pump him. It didn't feel as good as it normally did. "Have fun."

Kakuzu nuzzled Hidan's neck. "Mmm. I love you... And I want you to enjoy this as much as I am..."

Hidan sighed. He really didn't want to disappoint Kakuzu. "I'll try." Hidan said, angling his hips to try and get Kakuzu's thrusts to hit his prostate.

Kakuzu kissed the back of Hidan's neck. "Please..." He tried to aim for Hidan's prostate.

"I'm trying." Hidan said, standing up, "It's like I don't have a prostate." Just as he finished saying that he gasped. "Nevermind, I have it."

Kakuzu chuckled at Hidan. "You definitely still have it."

"Just hurry up." Hidan said, his breath catching in his throat from pleasure.

Kakuzu sped up his thrusting.

Hidan closed his eyes and tried to get into the feeling, occasionally gasping from time to time.

Kakuzu bit down on Hidan's neck, trying to get him into the mood.

Hidan hissed in pain, feeling a bit more aroused. "Ah... Twist my nipples."

Kakuzu reached around and twisted Hidan's nipples.

Hidan cried out in pain. "Shit!" his muscles tightened around Kakuzu, increasing the pleasure for his lover, "Finish up already."

"N-no, I want you to cum!"

"Get over it. You're close and I'm not. It's impossible to hold back. You're going to cum." Hidan said, "I can tell."

"I'm fine Hidan!" Kakuzu continued on to prove Hidan wrong.

Hidan growled. "Just fucking finish." he snapped, gasping after.

Kakuzu huffed, "No fair Hidan! Can I at least blow you after?!"

"Fine, you can do that." Hidan said, his stomach aching.

Kakuzu released inside of Hidan, panting heavily.

Hidan hissed as Kakuzu's cum burned his insides. "Alright." he said, pushing Kakuzu away and then turning around so his back was against the tree, "On your knees." God, he always wanted to say that.

Kakuzu dropped to his knees in front of Hidan, looking up to him expectantly.

Hidan looked down at Kakuzu and blushed. "Well, get sucking or do you want me to shove it in?" he asked.

"I want you to take complete control for once."

"Fine." Hidan said, feeling high and mighty and actually in the mood, "Open up." He pressed the head of his member to Kakuzu's lips.

Kakuzu opened up slowly, trying to seem reluctant.

Hidan contemplated weather to just roughly thrust into Kakuzu's mouth, but decided not to. "Put it in."

Kakuzu took Hidan's cock into his mouth.

Hidan grasped Kakuzu's head and pulled him closer and then pulled it away. "Start sucking and licking." he ordered, thrusting into Kakuzu mouth.

Kakuzu began to suck, waiting to lick until Hidan punished him.

"Damn, Kakuzu do you really want me to be an asshole?" Hidan asked when Kakuzu didn't start licking. He sighed and thrust into Kakuzu's mouth, the man now deep-throating him. Hidan kept Kakuzu there at he chanted 'I'm sorry' in his head.

Kakuzu gagged and began to lick slightly, kinda liking this punishment.

Hidan squeezed his eyes shut, beginning to thrust into Kakuzu's mouth again, trying not to be to rough. "Fuck yes..." he gasped, thrusting as far as he could into Kakuzu's mouth, coming, "Let me see it, then swallow."

Kakuzu pulled back after Hidan came, opening his mouth to show Hidan the cum before spitting it out on the ground. "Oh... I spit it out... Looks like you're going to have to teach me a lesson," He said, trying to go along with Hidan began in control.

Hidan sighed, sliding down the three trunk. "You ass. Just go get the goddamned firewood. Do it naked." he said, his stomach growling, "'M hungry."

Kakuzu nodded and went off into the forest to get fire wood, coming back ten minutes later and beginning to make a fire. Once it was lit he began to cook some deer meat.

Hidan grabbed his pant's and pulled them on. "So, is any of this edible?" Hidan asked, opening the bag and dumping out mushrooms, a few tuber plants, and a bunch of berries.

Kakuzu began to pick through the food items throwing out the ones that weren't edible. "You can eat those for now."

"Cook the mushrooms too, and these... I think they’re wild unions and potato's." Hidan said, stuffing some berries in his mouth, the dark purple juice dribbling over his chin.

Kakuzu cooked everything except the berries, finishing an hour later.

"You can get dressed now." Hidan said, grabbing some meat for himself.

"I rather like being naked. I'm sure you like the view too."

"I do, but I don't want you to get burned." Hidan said, nibbling on a potato, which he quickly identified as being a sweet potato.

Kakuzu grabbed a piece of meat. "You want me to give you head again after this? I feel bad for making you have sex..."

"No, I'm fine." Hidan said, "I just want to eat, and then sleep."

Kakuzu nodded and pulled on a pair of pants. He walked over and nuzzled Hidan.

Hidan nuzzled back. "I love you, you uke." he said, chuckling.

"I'm not an uke, I just felt bad."

"Admit it. You were uke then." Hidan said, "You liked it."

"Just a little... The punishment was nice..."

"As uke as you could be in that situation." Hidan said, "It felt nice, but it made me feel bad as well."

"I kinda liked to abuse for one. Makes me feel less guilty."

"It made me feel guilty, even if you did like it." Hidan said, kissing Kakuzu as he finished eating.

Kakuzu pulled Hidan into his lap. "How long do you want to sleep?"

"Eight hours." Hidan said, "That's how long." He yawned, his jaw popping. "I miss out babies."

"I miss them too, that's why I've been rushing this."

"Ah." Hidan curled up in Kakuzu's arms, yawning again, "G'night Kakuzu."

Kakuzu nodded and kissed the top of Hidan's head. "Love you."

"Love you too." Hidan said, falling asleep.

Kakuzu fell asleep as well.

As Hidan awoke, he moaned. It was still dark, damn it. "No. More sleep." he said, rubbing his face against Kakuzu's chest, "Kakuzu put on your shirt and cloak."

Kakuzu groaned and shook his head. "Noooo."

"You feel like ice. Do it." Hidan said.

Kakuzu put on his shirt and cloak, stoking the Fire a little bit before laying back down.

Hidan snuggled back up with Kakuzu. "I'm not tired anymore. It sucks."

Kakuzu stroked Hidan’s hair, beginning to hum.

Hidan squirmed, now needing to walk. "Damn it. Lets go now. I need to walk so lets just keep going."

"I wanna go back to bed though..."

Hidan sighed, rolling away from Kakuzu and to the fire.

'What the hell Hidan?!"

"I did not mean to do this!" Hidan said, flailing wildly in the fire.

Kakuzu used one of his thread monsters to get Hidan out of the fire and into a nearby lake.

Hidan made his way back to shore, his cloak singed. "Can we leave now?"

"No. You need to rest."

"They're burns." Hidan said, showing the ones on his face, which were already fading, "Lets go."

Kakuzu shook his head. "No. We've been traveling for days straight."

"I got some sleep and I feel better." Hidan said gathering up their items as to pack them.

"...Only thinking about you."

"You were refusing to let me sleep more then five hours." Hidan said, "How can you be tired?"

"I feel sick again."

Hidan sighed and sat back down. "Fine."

Kakuzu sighed and fell backwards.

Hidan curled back up with Kakuzu.

Kakuzu felt like he was dying.

"Kakuzu? You're getting hot." Hidan sat up and looked at him worriedly.

Kakuzu groaned.

"Are you in pain?" Hidan bit his nails.

"Sorta..."

"Where does it hurt?" Hidan asked, petting Kakuzu's cheek.

"Everywhere."

Hidan pulled out some pain medication. "Here, take this."

Kakuzu took the pills.

"You'll feel better in no time." Hidan said, kissing Kakuzu's forehead.

Kakuzu groaned, "I hope so."

Hidan laid back down, tossing an arm over Kakuzu's chest. "You better."

Kakuzu nuzzled Hidan, "I'll try."

"You shouldn't have eaten that meat." Hidan said, rubbing his cheek against Kakuzu's.

"You ate it too."

"Your digestive system can't handle it." Hidan said, "I should have thought of that. Maybe one of the mushrooms were bad."

"Did you bring soup...?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I was stupid." Hidan said, rubbing Kakuzu's stomach.

Kakuzu groaned.

"God, your liver could be failing and it's imposible to tell." Hidan said, wiping his eyes.

Kakuzu kissed the top of Hidan's head, "It's possible to tell, my skin would be turning yellow."

"Your skin is so tan though. It's not like my skin." Hidan said.

"It'll turn yellow. Trust me, my liver has failed before."

Hidan sighed, and crawled on top of Kakuzu. "I love you. If you need a new digestive system I'll give you mine okay?"

"You need your digestive track..." Kakuzu said, tugging Hidan down on top of him. "I love you too..."

"It will grow back." Hidan said, listening to Kakuzu's hearts.

Kakuzu stroked Hidan's hair.

Hidan sighed. "I hope Zekkou is okay."

Kakuzu nodded. "I do too."

"I hope you belly is okay too."

"It's fine..."

Hidan rubbed Kakuzu's abdomen again. "You were throwing up not to long ago."

"I know..." Kakuzu sighed.

"Don't leave me alone." Hidan said.

"I won't..."

Hidan smiled, nuzzling Kakuzu's chest. "Good night."

Kakuzu began to fall asleep

Hidan hummed softly, he himself growing tired. After awhile he finally fell asleep.

Kakuzu curled up closer to Hidan.

Hidan woke up to the sun in his eyes, he had also rolled off of Kakuzu at some point. "Can we go now?"

Kakuzu was shaking, laying in his own puddle of vomit.

Hidan rolled Kakuzu on to his side so he wouldn't choke. He grasped his pendant and began praying as he rubbed Kakuzu's back. "Please Jashin, make him better."

Kakuzu began shaking heavier.

Hidan bit his finger, at a loss on what to do. He inhaled deeply and rolled Kakuzu onto his back again undoing his cloak and pulling up his shirt. "Kakuzu, listen to me, you need my organs. Just take them okay?"

Kakuzu shook his head. "N-no..."

"You promised you wouldn't leave me alone." Hidan said, "The really important ones. Kidneys and liver. Take my stomach and intestines too. Please, if not for me then our children."

"F-fine," Kakuzu said.

"Take them then." Hidan said, taking off his cloak.

Kakuzu groaned, "I-I can't..."

"What should I do then!?" Hidan asked, "Cut you and myself open to do the exchange?"

Kakuzu passed out.

"Damn it. Kakuzu stay awake!" Hidan said. With a heavy sigh he began to undo a long line of stitching down Kakuzu's abdomen. Hidan cut himself open and with a scream pulled out a kidney then wrench out one of Kakuzu's, holding his out to the mass of threads wriggling around. "Come on, take it. Put it in and attach it."

Kakuzu's body took the kidney.

Hidan nodded. "Now the other one." he said. It went on like that, Hidan performing the crude surgery; the last organ he pulled out was the liver. He tiredly set it on Kakuzu and pulled the threads over it. "You'll be okay now Kakuzu." Hidan said, passing out.

Kakuzu continued to sleep for three days, Hidan worrying about him none stop.

Hidan sighed, petting Kakuzu face. "Come on baby, wake up." Hidan said.

Kakuzu finally woke up slowly.

Hidan smiled. "How are you feeling Kakuzu?" he asked, fighting off a yawn.

Kakuzu looked up at Hidan.

"How are you? Kakuzu?" Hidan asked, feeling frightened.

"I dunno..."

"Are you in pain? Do you even know who I am?" Hidan continued.

"I don't know..."

Hidan started crying. "No no no." he said, "All my hard work and it fails in a completely different way. This is bull shit!"

Kakuzu pulled Hidan into a hug, stroking his hair. He may not know who this man is but he felt oddly attached to him.

"It's not fair!" Hidan said, "Of all people to forget it's the guy you married! Me! Our kids too."

Kakuzu sighed, "I'm sorry..."

"How can you be sorry?! You don't know who I am and the shit we've been threw! You don't even know my name!" Hidan snapped, "I hate you! You've left me alone! You're here but you're not either!"

Kakuzu curled up into a ball to protect himself from the hateful words.

Hidan wiped his eyes. "You're a wimp too now? You're tough. A killer! And you love money!" he said. Hidan crawled over to Kakuzu and kissed him hungrily. "I'll make you remember me."

Kakuzu looked up at Hidan, "W-what?"

"You don't want to have sex with me Kakuzu?" Hidan asked sadly, "I'm not even attractive to you? What's the point? I should just kill myself now." He rested his head on Kakuzu's chest, crying.

"No… No, I want to have sex with you..."

"Do you mean that?"

Kakuzu nodded.

"Do you even know what sex is?" Hidan asked, pouting.

Kakuzu nodded.

Hidan looked at Kakuzu for a bit before pulling him into a sitting position. "What do you want me to do first?"

Kakuzu shrugged, "What do you normally do?"

"I give you oral. How much do you remember? About yourself?" Hidan asked, "Does Hinote ring a fucking bell?"

"No... None of that rings a bell..."

"Akatsuki?" Hidan asked as he undid Kakuzu's fly, "Takigakure?" He pulled out Kakuzu's member and began to suck on it. "Hidan?"

Kakuzu tossed back his head, "Ah~. This rings a bell."

Hidan took in more of Kakuzu's member, his tongue dancing over the stiff flesh. "What bell does it ring?" Hidan asked, managing to make understandable despite the mouth full of cock.

Kakuzu moaned loudly. "The pleasure bell."

Hidan growled in annoyance. "That doesn't matter, so you only remember what sex is?" he asked, licking the head before pulling away and kicking off his pants.

Kakuzu nodded, "I guess so..."

Hidan crawled onto Kakuzu's lap. "You must love sex, but why not me? I gave you the best sex." he said, "Well come on, fuck me."

Kakuzu tried to move, but found himself to weak to do so.

"God fucking ass shit." Hidan said, pushing Kakuzu over and sliding his member inside him, beginning to ride him, "Know what a ninja is?"

Kakuzu nodded, "Yes..." He moaned, "Why are you getting so impatient with me when I didn't do shit?"

“Because I am angry. It’s the way I am!” Hidan said, moving faster, cursing under his breath before leaning in to kiss Kakuzu. “I love you.” he said, forgetting that his husband didn’t remember anything about him.

Kakuzu moaned and tossed his head back more, arching heavily. "I... I don't know if I love you..."

Hidan gripped his member and began to pump himself, approaching orgasm. "You did." he said, crying out as he came.

Kakuzu came right after Hidan, panting as he looked up at him. "Then... I love you too..."

Hidan sighed and laid down on Kakuzu's chest. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

Kakuzu shook his head, "No."

"Kay." Hidan said, "I'm Hidan by the way. I never told you. Well I did, but you don't remember."

Kakuzu nodded, "Who am I again...?"

"Kakuzu." Hidan said, puffing his hair out of his face.

Kakuzu nuzzled Hidan. "How long have we been together...?"

"Almost nine months." Hidan said, "We adopted two daughters and we had one son together."

"How did we have son?"

"I'm a ninja. I turned into a woman." Hidan said, not wanting to go into his god.

Kakuzu nodded, pulled Hidan closer. "What are our kids names?"

"Seiun; she's an albino like me, Acheron; she's normal, and our baby boy is Zekkou." Hidan said.

"Who does he look like?"

"He looks like you, but no stitches." Hidan said.

Kakuzu nodded. "I'm sorry I can't remember..."

"It's fine. You will." Hidan said, "Are you in any pain?"

Kakuzu shook his head.

Hidan wrapped his arms around Kakuzu's neck and kissed him hungrily. "Come the fuck back." he muttered, sitting up and rolling off of Kakuzu, "You need to at least drink something."

Kakuzu leaned into the kiss, stroking his hair. "I want to..."

"What do you want to drink? Water or chicken broth?"

"Water..."

Hidan pulled Kakuzu to his feet and led him to the lake. "Lets take a bath and a drink."

Kakuzu nodded and looked at the lake.

"You see something interesting in the lake?" Hidan asked.

Kakuzu shook his head, heading slowly into the lake.

"Do you know how to swim still? And take off the rest of your clothes!" Hidan yelled, "Get back here!"

Kakuzu continued walking out.

Hidan ran after him and pulled him back. "Kakuzu! What the fucking hell?" he asked, dragging him back to shore, "Stay near me damn it!"

Kakuzu shook his head and looked back at Hidan. "What? Huh?"

"You were walking out there! Do you want to die?! Can you even swim now for fucks sake?" Hidan asked, glaring at his lover.

Kakuzu shrugged, "Who knows...?"

"Why were you walking out there?" Hidan asked.

"I ... don't know..."

Hidan hugged Kakuzu tightly. "Don't do it again, now take off the rest of your clothes."

Kakuzu took off the rest of his clothes, looking at Hidan.

Hidan pulled of his clothes as well and led Kakuzu in to the water, pulling him to sit in the shallows. "What is it?"

Kakuzu leaned up against Hidan, closing his eyes.

"We're going to have to go home now. You're useless right now." Hidan said, "Maybe leader or Itachi can make you remember." Hidan cupped water in his hands and dribbled it over Kakuzu's body, rubbing his skin so the dried blood on him would come off.

Kakuzu sighed, "I can’t help it if I'm useless..."

"I was talking to my self." Hidan said, his fingers grazing over Kakuzu's chest.

Kakuzu shivered, then beginning to shake.

"Kakuzu? Are you cold?" Hidan asked, crawling into Kakuzu's lap and wrapping his arms around Kakuzu, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know..."

"No, Don't tell me it isn't working anymore." Hidan said, beginning to cry again, "Kakuzu, please, don't die. I love you too much."

Kakuzu stroked Hidan's hair, "It's okay Hidan... I won't die..."

"I'll try and make contact with leader, I'll see if he could send Deidara to pick us up. You shouldn't walk." Hidan said, helping Kakuzu back up and pulling his cloak around him, "Lets go."

Kakuzu slowly followed Hidan.

Hidan kissed Kakuzu's cheek, "Get dressed I'll contact him okay?"

Kakuzu nodded and began to get dressed.

Hidan formed the hand sign and closed his eyes, trying to get to leader. He remained silent for a while before opening his eyes again. "Deidara is sending a clay bird."

Kakuzu laid back against the ground, breaking out into seizures.

Hidan buried his face in his hands. "Stop getting worse! Stop it!" he said, beginning to cry, "This can't be right! What can do this? Fucking mushrooms? They are out of his system now!"

Kakuzu writhed on the ground.

Hidan fell to his knees and began to cry. He couldn't take it any more. "God damn it get fucking better! Jashin-sama make him better!"

Kakuzu finally stopped, passing out,

Hidan crawled to Kakuzu and petted his cheek. "Get the fuck better you ass." he snapped, lightly slapping his cheek as he looked sky ward, waiting for the bird to appear.

Kakuzu continued to sleep.

The bird finally came and Hidan pulled Kakuzu on, wrapping his arms around Kakuzu's middle and holding on for dear life as it took off.

Kakuzu was still asleep the whole ride.

Hidan dragged Kakuzu to their room, laying him down on their bed. "Wake up you ass hole! Wake up!" Hidan screeched, shaking Kakuzu.

Kakuzu began to slowly wake up.

"Alright, who the fuck am I?" Hidan asked, pissed off.

"Hidan," Kakuzu said, looking up at him, "What happened for the past two days? Why are we at the base? Where are my kids?"

"Jashin-sama I fucking love you!" Hidan said hugging Kakuzu tightly, "I gave you my organs and then you were out of it for three days then you woke up and didn't remember anything!"

Kakuzu nodded and held Hidan close, "Well... I'm back now..."

"I'm so happy! The only thing you remembered really well was fucking sex!" Hidan said, kissing Kakuzu hungrily.

Kakuzu nodded, "I'm sorry Hidan..."

"It's okay Kakuzu." Hidan said, "Now lets get our kids."

Kakuzu couldn't get up.

"Alright, I'll get our kids." Hidan said, crawling off the bed and running off to get them.

Kakuzu say up slightly.

Hidan came back with only Zekkou. "Konan took the girls out for ice cream, so we only have him." Hidan said, kissing Zekkou's head.

Kakuzu looked up at his son. "My boy... My son..."

"Yes, he's yours." Hidan said, sitting next to Kakuzu, "Say hi to daddy sweetie."

Kakuzu looked at the both of them lovingly.

Hidan took Zekkou's hand and made him wave at Kakuzu. Hidan smiled at Kakuzu softly. "You make me act like such a wimp. But I don't care."

Kakuzu frowned. "Can you snuggle against me...? I can't move right now, it hurts..."

"Alright." Hidan said, laying next to Kakuzu and laying Zekkou on his chest, "I'm glad to have you back."

"I'm glad to be back..."

"You forgot our babies~!" Hidan said, taking Zekkou's hand, "But it's all better now, just don't have another seizure."

Kakuzu nuzzled Hidan. "I love you... So much..."

"Love you too Kakuzu." Hidan said, sighing in bliss.

"Love you more," Kakuzu teased.

"Maybe you do." Hidan said, kissing Kakuzu softly, "But I love you best."

Kakuzu kissed Hidan back, leaning heavily into the kiss.

Hidan licked Kakuzu's lips softly, biting his lower one. "Sexy beast."

Kakuzu pulled back from the kiss.

"Happy?" Hidan asked, petting Kakuzu's face.

Kakuzu nodded, "Very."

"Where are you in pain the most Kakuzu?"

"Everywhere."

Hidan rolled his eyes. "My poor seme." Hidan said, smiling cutely.

Kakuzu sighed. "I miss your cock in my mouth though."

"You don't need to be uke to do that." Hidan said.

Kakuzu nodded, "I think I do."

"No you don't, you've done it before with out being uke." Hidan muttered, scratching his belly.

Kakuzu shrugged, "Makes me feel ukeish..."

"What ever." Hidan said, licking up the side of Kakuzu's face.

Kakuzu sighed and pushed Hidan away alightly.

"What? Can't I give you a different kind of kiss?"

"No," Kakuzu grumbled.

"I'm sorry." Hidan said, petting Zekkou's head, "Why can't I?"

"It will dry off."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"And we were so happy a while ago." Hidan said, taking a tissue and wiping off Kakuzu's face.

"Eh."

"Were you getting sick of the sweetness?"
Kakuzu nodded.

"Fine." Hidan said, "Heathen."

Kakuzu grinned, "That's more like it."

Hidan huffed and rested his head on Kakuzu's shoulder. "We need to bring a doctor here to check you out."

Kakuzu shook his head, "no, no, I'm fine."

"Yeah, right. You're not fine Kakuzu." Hidan said, "You have had major surgery. Crappy major surgery."

Kakuzu groaned and rolled over painfully after handing Hidan Zekkou.

"I'll make sure the guy does it for free, kay?"

Kakuzu nodded.

Hidan smiled and grabbed the phone, dialing the hospital's number. "I'm on hold, just don't get worse while I am waiting."

Kakuzu curled up on the bed

"Hello? Yeah, uh, do you have those doctors that visit the pateint's home?" Hidan paused for a bit, "Oh good, um, my husband had, uh, liver and kidney transplant after he tried to commit suicide. No I don't need your pity he's fine, sort of. Any way, he started having seizures after ward, so send a specialist. Thank you. You still here Kakuzu?" Hidan hung up after telling them where they lived

Kakuzu groaned in response.

"Where do you hurt, and don't say every where."

"...Everywhere."

Hidan scowled. "Oh come on. It must be coming from one spot."

Kakuzu shook his head.

Hidan sighed and kissed Zekkou's cheek. "I'm going to wait for them at the front door."

Kakuzu nodded, "Go..."

"I'll be back soon, alright?" Hidan got out of bed and left.

Kakuzu passed out.

Hidan returned and shook Kakuzu, "Wake up Kakuzu, the doctor is here."

Kakuzu slowly woke up

The doctor leaned over Kakuzu. "Have you ever had pain like this before?" he asked.

"Never..."

The doctor summoned some chakra into his hand and slowly moved it along Kakuzu's arm, "Does that lessen the pain?"

Kakuzu nodded slightly.

"Your chakra is blocked in many different places." he said, "Acupuncture should restore the flow. I can give you the number of a specialist."

Kakuzu nodded, "Kay..."

The doctor scrawled the number on his note pad and ripped it off, handing it to Hidan. "I'll leave now." he said, his demeanor changing before he hurried out.

Kakuzu felt like he was dying.

"Fuck that, I can do it." Hidan said, getting out his senbon, "Where do you want me to stick these in first?"

Kakuzu moved away. "Oh hell no!"

"I know how to do this." Hidan said, pouting, taking a needle and delicately stuck it in Kakuzu's arm, "Well?"

Kakuzu began to relax.

"How does your arm feel?" Hidan asked, placing another in Kakuzu's shoulder.

"I feel a bit better...'

"On your stomach." Hidan said, nudging Kakuzu's side.

Kakuzu laid on his stomach.

Hidan slowly began to unblock Kakuzu's chakra. Finally, after two hours Hidan pulled away. "How do you feel?"

"Much... Much better..."

Hidan pulled out the needles and sighed. "Good. Can you sit up now?"

Kakuzu sat up and stretched. "I feel like I loss muscle mass..."

"Why? You feel lighter or something?"

Kakuzu nodded.

"You still look muscular." Hidan said, running his fingers over Kakuzu's arm, "It doesn't feel any different."

Kakuzu shrugged, "It's probably nothing..."

Hidan sighed and looked over his shoulder where Zekkou was strapped to his back. "Daddy is all better."

Kakuzu held out his arms for Zekkou.

Hidan turned his back to Kakuzu. "Take him out."

Kakuzu took out Zekkou and held him.

Zekkou squirmed a bit before giggling.

Kakuzu began to tickle Zekkou.

Hidan smiled as he watched Kakuzu play with Zekkou. He turned to the door as Seiun and Acheron ran in.

Kakuzu looked over to the door. "Girls!"

"Daddy!" Seiun squealed, running to the bed with Acheron right behind her, "Why are you back so soon? Do you have to go again?"

Kakuzu pat the bed next to him, "Daddy got very sick."

Seiun and Acheron crawled on the bed and sat on ether side of him, looking at Zekkou. "Betterer now?" Acheron asked.

Kakuzu nodded, "Much better."

Seiun kissed Kakuzu's cheek. "Good. Being sick is bad."

"That it is."

"Can I hold him daddy?" Seiun asked, playing with her fingers.

"I don't know..."

"Please? I won't drop him."

Kakuzu looked at Hidan. "Ask your mother.'

"Let her hold him." Hidan said, rolling his eyes.

Kakuzu handed Zekkou to Seiun.

Seiun held Zekkou to her chest, his little head resting on her shoulder. "He's heavy." she said, rubbing her brother's back.

Kakuzu watched her carefully.

Seiun bounced a little, making Zekkou giggle. "I love him." she said.

Kakuzu smiled. "We all do."

"I want to have a baby." Seiun said.

Kakuzu choked on his tongue. "No you don't!"

"Yes I do." Seiun said, pouting as Hidan started laughing.

Kakuzu shook his head, "No. You don't."

"Yes I do. Why can't I have one?"

"Because you're not old enough."

"What? That's stupid." Seiun said, nuzzling Zekkou's cheek.

"And because I said so. Do you argue with me when I say something?"

"Baby. You're not big enough to have a baby." Hidan said, petting Seiun’s head, "You can pretend that Zekkou is your baby however."

Kakuzu huffed.

Seiun sighed sadly. "Okay mommy." she said, rocking Zekkou.

"What are you huffing about?" Hidan asked his husband.

"Nothing," Kakuzu said.

"Tell me."

"Hidan. Don't push me."

"Please tell me? I don't understand what's so taboo about telling me things." Hidan said.

"I like my privacy. Don't be a bitch about it."

"I'm not being a bitch." Hidan said sadly, "I just want to know what's bothering you. Keep this up and you'll get sick again."

Kakuzu grunted and shrugged.

"Stop making mommy sad." Seiun said angrily.

Kakuzu glared at all of them and stood up and stormed out.

Hidan stood up. "Don't say things like that to your father." he said, taking Zekkou back and running after Kakuzu.

Kakuzu panted and fell against the wall.

"Kakuzu, get back in bed." Hidan said, crouching in front of him.

Kakuzu shook his head. "No one wants me in there."

"God damn it, stop being whiny." Hidan said, "It's my job. Now get back in bed."

"I honestly don't know why I've been an emo whore these past weeks..."

"It's my fault." Hidan said, "My pregnancy gave you more estrogen."

Kakuzu groaned.

"It's so you won't run out on me and so you will help take care of the baby." Hidan said.

Kakuzu pulled Hidan into his lap.

"Hmm. I love you." Hidan said.

Kakuzu nuzzled Hidan's neck. "Love you too."

Hidan pressed his cheek against the side of Kakuzu's head. "I'm going to hell. And I'm glad.

Kakuzu kissed Hidan's temple. "I am too..."

"Together forever." Hidan cooed.

Kakuzu smiled, "Literally."

"Yup." Hidan said, kissing Kakuzu's cheek, "Nothing will keep us apart."

Kakuzu nodded.

Hidan yawned. "I want to rent a movie."

Kakuzu shrugged, "Fine."

"What do you want to see?" Hidan asked, "We'll get a family one, and one for ourselves."

"Let's get a porn for ourselves."

"Are you being serious?" Hidan asked, chuckling, "Well then, what kind?"

"I don't know, let's just... Browse."

Hidan nodded. "Alright, when shall we go get them?"

"Soon."

Hidan nodded and kissed Kakuzu's head. "Mine. All mine."

Kakuzu smiled. "That I am..."

Hidan nuzzled Kakuzu. "I'm going to put Zekkou to bed." Hidan said, standing.

Kakuzu nodded, "Tell the girls I'm sorry."

"I will." Hidan said, heading back to their room.

Kakuzu went into their room as well, getting dressed.

Hidan tucked Zekkou into his bassinet and gave him a quick kiss. "Okay girls, out you go." he said, giving them a kisses too as her chased them out. Hidan stretched. "Feeling okay?"

Kakuzu nodded, "I feel fine."

"Good. So, you comfortable at getting porn with me as a man?"

Kakuzu thought about it for a moment. "… Of course I am."

Hidan smiled and kiss Kakuzu's shoulder. "What movie should we get for the girls?"

Kakuzu shrugged, "I don't watch TV that much."

"Well, what stories were you read when you were a kid?"

"Fairytales."

"About?" Hidan pressed.

"...Princesses."

"Fine. We'll get... uh..... Snow White." Hidan said, nodding.

Kakuzu nodded, "That works."

Hidan smiled, exchanging his cloak for a large poofy jacket. "Then we'll look at... The porn."

"Ohohohh. Porn is gonna be fun."

"Yes it will." Hidan said, linking arms with Kakuzu, "Ready Kuzu-koi?"

Kakuzu kissed Hidan's cheek. "Ready as I'll ever be."

Hidan smiled, opening the bedroom door and stepping out. He hummed happily as the left the base. "I hate rain."

"Me too," Kakuzu said, opening up an umbrella.

"Lets get the girls 'The Wizard of Oz' actually. Everyone needs to see that movie." Hidan said, grasping Kakuzu's hands.

"So true..."

"Have you seen it?" Hidan asked, flashing his white teeth.

"Yes." Kakuzu nodded, "Want to get a gay porn or straight porn?"

"The only men I want to see fucking each other is us." Hidan said, pouting, “So straight porn. We should make a porn vid of us."

Kakuzu looked down at Hidan, trailing his hand up Hidan's thigh. "We should. But is that something we ever want our kids seeing?"

"We'll keep it in a safe." Hidan said, laughing.

Kakuzu laughed as well. "Or show it to them so they'll never have sex."

"You don't want grandkids?" Hidan asked.

"No," Kakuzu said, huffing.

"Why not?" Hidan asked.

"Makes me feel old."

"You are old. I want them." Hidan said, pouting.

Kakuzu grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Don't be a grouch." Hidan said, rubbing Kakuzu's stomach, "Lets hurry."

Kakuzu nodded, "Fine, fine."

Hidan picked up the pace, stopping in front of the video store. "Here we are Kakuzu~!"

Kakuzu looked at it. "Porn~."

"Pervert." Hidan said, walking inside. He quickly walked threw he family section and grabbed 'The Wizard of Oz' before heading for the adult section.

Kakuzu followed Hidan.

"Okay, here we are. Big breasts, small breasts, milf... what ever that is." Hidan said, going over the types, "What so you want Kakuzu?"

"Hm... How about... I don't know. You choose."

"I don't know." Hidan said, "What is you're thing? What the fuck? Midget porn? Gross."

"Hmm... Do they have that girls gone wild shit?"

"Isn't that just girls flashing their breasts?" Hidan asked, grabbing a one that had several shorts in it, "Huh, how about this one? It's several hours long. Looks good."

Kakuzu nodded, "That works too."

"Kay." Hidan said, going to the clerk.

Kakuzu coughed when the clerk gave them an odd look.

"What are you looking at?" Hidan snapped, glaring, "Kakuzu pay him before I rip out his guts."

Kakuzu gave him the money and began to leave.

Hidan trotted after Kakuzu, grabbing his ass. He turned to the clerk and made a face at him before they exited the building.

Kakuzu squeaked slightly. "Don't do that."

"Why not? I like your ass." Hidan said, pouting.

"Alright. You can do it."

"Yay~!" Hidan said, stepping behind Kakuzu and grabbing his ass again.

Kakuzu shivered.

"What is it?" Hidan asked, "Do you like me doing that?"

"...Maybe."

Hidan grabbed Kakuzu's ass again. "If so keep it in your pants. I want to watch some porn."

Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's hand and just shoved his hand into his back pocket. "There."

Hidan blinked, moving to walk next to Kakuzu. "Looking forward to this?"

Kakuzu nodded, "I'm excited for porn."

"Did you go to places that showed women getting fucked live when you were younger?" Hidan asked.

"Once or twice," Kakuzu said, "No that great."

"Do they still do that?"

Kakuzu shrugged.

"If I had been with you I would have made it more fun." Hidan said, smiling proudly.

Kakuzu nodded, "Then we could've been the next on stage."

Hidan blushed. "Uh... Sure." he said sheepishly, opening the front door and stepping inside.

Kakuzu smirked, "Are you finally shy of something?"

"Yeah." Hidan said, "Sex in front of people who are actually watching." Hidan said, going to one of the sitting rooms and turning on the television, "Ready to watch?"

"We should lock the doors..."

Hidan did so. "Now are you ready?" Hidan asked, setting up the television.

Kakuzu nodded, slipping out of his pants.

Hidan rolled his eyes, slipping in the DVD and sitting on the cushy love seat. "Now press play, and here we go." he patted the seat next to himself.

Kakuzu sat next to Hidan and snuggled up against him.

Hidan turned his self into a woman, shedding his clothes. He new Kakuzu would get horny, so why not? He curled against his husband, rubbing his chest softly. "I don't get the point of her walking around in those shoes."

Kakuzu shrugged, "Why judge a porn star?"

"I bet she falls over a lot." Hidan said, watching the woman pull off her panties.

"Shut up and enjoy the porn."

Hidan rolled his eyes. He followed the actress's actions and spread his legs apart, beginning to rub his clit.

Kakuzu watched Hidan more than the porn.

"Watch the porn Kakuzu." Hidan said, noting that the man, who wasn't all that good looking, entered the camera frame, "I'm just entertaining myself." Hidan crossed his legs and removed his hands.

Kakuzu pulled Hidan into his lap, resting his head on Hidan's shoulder.

"Now you have to agree that that man is ugly right?" Hidan asked, wrapping Kakuzu's arms around him.

Kakuzu nodded, "Very... Ugly."

"He's only a porn actor because of his dick." Hidan said, nuzzling Kakuzu's neck.

"It is pretty huge."

"Yours is bigger and better." Hidan said happily, "And it's all mine."

Kakuzu chuckled, "Mhm..."

Hidan squirmed a bit in Kakuzu's lap, his heat throbbing with arousal. He watched the actor roughly finger the woman’s heat, making her squirt. "Can you do that some time Kakuzu?"

Kakuzu nodded, almost moaning when Hidan was squirming. "Do-don't squirm."

"Why not?" Hidan asked, pouting.

"Feels good," Kakuzu said, going back to watching the porn.

Hidan squirmed again, smiling. "What's going to happen If I don't stop?"

"I'm gonna push you off," Kakuzu said, "I wanna finish this porn."

Hidan got off Kakuzu's lap and sat as far away as he could on the love seat. "Fine."

Kakuzu huffed, "Come back here."

"I'll just squirm around." Hidan said, pouting cutely.

Kakuzu pulled Hidan back into his lap.

Hidan huffed. "You want me in it or not?"

"I want you in it."

"Then deal with my squirming." Hidan said, stretching.

Kakuzu huffed.

"I need to get comfortable." Hidan pointed out.

Kakuzu nodded, "I know.

"Then I need to squirm now and then." Hidan mumbled, watching the television.

"Okay... Okay."

"Kay, now shut up and watch this." Hidan said.

Kakuzu went back to watching the porn.

Hidan squeezed his legs together, the urge to touch himself growing. This had to be why people liked porn. "Can I get off your lap now?"

Kakuzu huffed, "fine."

Hidan scooted away so he was sitting close to Kakuzu, holding his hand. "You're realy big you know." he said, looking at Kakuzu's erection.

Kakuzu nodded, "I know."

Hidan grabbed the remote and stoped the video, turning off the television as well.

Kakuzu groaned, "I was just getting into it." And one could tell by the pre cum glistening on the head of Kakuzu's penis.

"Kakuzu." Hidan whined, spreading his legs, "Touch me. I need it really bad."

Kakuzu skipped the touching an thrust straight into Hidan.

"No! Touch me~!" Hidan whined loudly, "I want to squirt a lot."

"B-but... You're so nice right now... So... Warm... And wet..."

"You can fuck me after." Hidan said, "Please."

Kakuzu pulled out reluctantly and slipped two fingers into Hidan, moving them quickly.

"Tie me down. Don't stop until you can hardly stand to not be in me. Then you may fuck me. I'm at your mercy." Hidan said, gasping, "Hook your fingers more."

Kakuzu stitched Hidan's arms to the couch, also sowing his mouth shut.

Hidan glared at Kakuzu, his eyes asking why he had to stitch his mouth shut.

Kakuzu licked up the side of Hidan's neck. "So you can't order me around."

Hidan growled and flipped Kakuzu off.

Kakuzu stitched Hidan's fingers together and began to hook his fingers inside Hidan.

Hidan gasped, squeezing his eyes shut at the intense feeling growing in his belly. He tossed his head to the side, whining shrilly.

Kakuzu began to thrust his fingers in and out of Hidan.

Hidan groaned, his hips lifting into the air. He sobbed, tossing his head side to side. It felt so fucking good.

He loved the sounds Hidan was making and moved his fingers faster.

Hidan squealed, his eyes snapping open as he came. He watched himself squirt, the pleasure impossible to stand because Kakuzu kept fingering him. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he moaned, coming again.

Kakuzu kept moving his fingers.

Hidan cried out, his mouth opening and his lips tearing. He cried out be fore going limp, his face showing a look of pure exstacy has his mouth remained wide open. He cried out again as he came yet again.

Kakuzu planned to make Hidan come until he passed out and then fuck his sleeping body.

Hidan came again, his whole body twitching rhythmically. He is vision was going dark as he began to loose conciseness. His eyes finally closed, dead to the world.

Kakuzu thrust into Hidan now, beginning to go hard and fast right away.

Hidan's arms were slowly freed from Kakuzu's thrusting, ripping even more of his pale skin.

Kakuzu began to move much faster.

A pained expression came over Hidan's face. Kakuzu was hurting him.

Kakuzu wasn't paying attention to Hidan's face.

Hidan whined, tears leaking out of his eyes.

Kakuzu looked down and slowed his thrusting, soon speeding it back up.

"Kakuzu... Be gentle."

Kakuzu grunted, "But... Ughh."

"Your stronger then you think Kakuzu. You're really hurting me." Hidan said, looking at his husband tiredly.

Kakuzu kissed Hidan's cheek. "I'm sorry love..."

"I forgive you." Hidan said, wrapping his arms around Kakuzu's neck, "You can finish up now, just don't be so rough."

Kakuzu began thrusting quickly and roughly, bit not trying to hurt Hidan.

Hidan clutched Kakuzu's shoulders, his body jerking with Kakuzu's movements. "You don't need to worry about me. I can't feel anything at the moment."

Kakuzu slammed into Hidan one last time, cumming deep into Hidan.

Hidan lightly kissed Kakuzu's cheek. "Happy Kakuzu?" he asked, smiling.

Kakuzu panted and nodded, "God yes..."

Hidan wrapped his arms around Kakuzu. "Oh good. I'm glad. I was there to serve you. Now fix my lips."