What Can I Do For You?

Warnings: prostitution, mention of religion, mention of drugs, cursing,



AN: Written for Cai on Ygal because I love her. Please be aware this story contains strong religious themes as well as prostitution, drug use, and HIV.



The Preacher and the Prostitute



Part One



Itachi loaded the last box filled with condoms and clean needles into the back of the white church van. It was well known to him of his parishioners’ dislike of him associating with those of loose morals. It was as if they thought those unfortunates he ministered to while providing them with condoms and clean needles were less deserving of God’s grace. They were probably more deserving of it than half of the congregation showing up every Sunday morning.



He would never say so, but he often thought it. He was doing God’s work and it was against his own ethical code to only minister to those who came into his church. There were also those lost and needed an offered hand to guide them into the light of God’s grace. He turned to his brother and his brother’s wife, Hinata. “Ready?”



“Itachi…I know you like doing this but maybe we should just collect money instead of actually going to that part of town.” Sasuke glanced at his wife’s rounding abdomen. “I don’t like Hinata going where she can get hurt.”



Itachi chuckled at his brother’s face. “Sasuke, I distribute these at a shelter, not hand them out in back alleys.”



“Still…”



Hinata patted Sasuke on his shoulder. “It’s alright. The people welcome what we bring. But if it makes you feel any better, I’ll go play with the children while you two deal with the actual handing out of supplies.”



Sasuke seemed to consider the idea. “There are children there?”



Itachi’s eyes turned sad. “More than you realize. If you’re going, let’s go.”



Hinata buckled up in the back seat while Sasuke slid in beside Itachi. “You know…the matrons in the church have been talking. They think you should get married.”



Itachi snorted. He had no plans for marriage any time in the near future. He might not shout out his sexual preference but he most certainly wouldn’t hide it behind the guise of a happy marriage. Who would have thought a gay man could ever be a pastor for a Methodist church? He’d always wanted to attend seminary school. In order to do so, he’d kept his sexual preference hidden from everyone. Apparently, loving the same sex was signing one’s own passport to Hell.



He didn’t believe for one moment being gay was against the laws of God. Those ancient laws were archaic rules set forth during a time of turmoil. He preached against discrimination in his church and called out any who treated the one gay couple in his congregation with anything other than respect. In a way, he envied the two men who sat together holding hands through the services. If he ever revealed his sexual choices, he would be stripped of his position.



“Itachi? Earth to Itachi.” Sasuke poked his brother’s arm with a finger, earning him a glare. “I was just curious if you were ever going to put the van in gear.”



“Just you wait.” Itachi reached over to flick Sasuke’s head with a finger before putting the vehicle in gear and pulling out onto the highway. “Thank you for coming, Sasuke.”



“Yeah well…that beautiful woman sitting back there has a way with words.” Sasuke tossed a glance to the back where Hinata was reading a book. “I’ve got to keep her out of trouble.”



The van filled with laughter from all the occupants, making the half an hour drive to the shelter much more pleasant. Itachi pulled the van up beside a large run down building. Graffiti coated the exterior and trash lined the side walk. From the outside, the place looked as if it needed to be condemned rather than serve as a place of shelter for those living on the streets.



“Itachi?” Sasuke wrinkled his nose at the sewage scent working its way into his nose. “You said this was safe.”



“It is.” Itachi walked towards the large double doors. They opened immediately to reveal a grinning blond dressed in a short sleeved shirt and loose jeans.



Itachi accepted the offered hand with a smile. “Naruto. How has the shelter been since last month?”



Naruto’s shake was firm and his smile willing. “Not as good as last month but better than the one before. I see you brought the lovely Hinata with you again.”



Naruto immediately pulled the woman into his arms, his hands stopping to rub familiarly over the distended abdomen. “How is my baby doing?”



She blushed brightly, glancing nervously towards Sasuke who was beginning to fume. “Uhh…Naruto…this is Sasuke.”



Naruto released the woman, glancing towards Sasuke. He offered his hand. “So you’re the man who stole my woman…”



“Naruto!” Hinata’s blush only seemed to darken. “I was married to Sasuke before I met you.”



“I know…it’s a crying shame.” Naruto sighed dejectedly. “Well, lets get the stuff set up. I’m sure the prostitutes saw you coming a mile away. They’ll be lined around the block.”



Sasuke edged towards Itachi, watching Naruto through narrowed eyes. “Did you see his arms?”



Itachi sent a disapproving glance towards his brother. Naruto never covered his track mark scars. He’d been clean for almost five years but showed off the scars. He’d told Itachi when they’d met two years prior it was meant to remind the addicts that they could get clean if they wanted to. He led several anonymous meetings weekly to help those who were ready to try.



“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Itachi murmured, grabbing two boxes and entering the shelter.



The entry hall was littered with flyers and pamphlets offering help to those willing to seek it out. The sound of a baby crying was a familiar sound. A child no older than five ran up to him, tugging on his pant’s leg with wide eyes. They knew him too well.



Reaching into his pocket, he dropped a piece of hard candy into the boy’s hand. Small rosebud lips split into a wide smile, popping the candy into his mouth before it was taken from him.



“Breaks your heart doesn’t it.” Naruto leaned against the wall. “Makes me wish I’d stayed in school and become a millionaire so I could help them.”



Itachi shook his head. “God had plans for you other than speeding money on fast cars and women.”



“Keep talking, Preacher. God didn’t make me a junky so I would end up here.” Naruto set up a dirty needles bin. “If there was a god, there would be no need for a place like this.”



Itachi patted Naruto’s shoulder. Naruto wasn’t there yet, but his words lacked their usual determination when they held this conversation every month.



“Sasuke, bring that last box over here.” Sasuke handed over the box to Naruto.



“So what now?”



Itachi took a seat. “We wait.”



They didn’t have to wait long. Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, the local prostitutes and junkies began to walk through the doors. Itachi handed out the condoms along with pamphlets on safe sex practices while Naruto handled the clean needles for dirty ones exchange.



“Don’t you think we are encouraging them?” Sasuke asked during a moment of down time.



“If we don’t offer them clean condoms and needles, they won’t have safe sex and they will spread disease between each other.” Itachi pulled a few more pamphlets from a box. Sasuke was having a hard time dealing with this aspect of life. “Why don’t you go sit with Hinata? She’s reading a story to the kids.”



Sasuke shrugged and moved in the direction Itachi pointed. Naruto leaned over after he’d left. “I wonder what he would say if he knew I was HIV positive. He’d probably ban Hinata from coming out of fear being in the same room with me could endanger her and the baby.”



Itachi chuckled. “He could try. At least he’s giving this a chance. He’s like you. Almost there.”



Naruto blinked his eyes dumbly. “Almost where?”



“So is this where I can get some gloves. Because I have a john waiting on me.”



Itachi glanced up to see a new face. He was young, somewhere between twenty and twenty-five. His face creased in a smile so wide it put Naruto’s to shame. The only difference was the smile didn’t reach his eyes. His high cut shirt showed off a slightly sunken stomach and prominent ribs--evidence of malnutrition. Skin tight faux leather trousers hugged his slim hips and long legs. Even looking as he did, he was an attractive man. Something about him resonated in Itachi.



“I’m Itachi.” Itachi offered his hand.



The prostitute stared at the hand for a moment, glancing between Itachi and Naruto. “What are you doing with dickless? Has he finally started getting some? Because I know sexual tension when I see it.”



“Alright, asshole. I run a clean shelter. If you want to come in here, you obey the rules…one of which is be polite to volunteers. They are giving you shit for free.” Naruto was on his feet with his finger in the man’s face.



Itachi sent Naruto an amused glance. “Dickless?”



Naruto snorted and pointed towards his crotch with a finger. “He’s only jealous because he couldn’t handle this dick.”



The man continued to smile while turning his attention from Naruto to Itachi. “You’re hot. If you’re willing to leave the dickless wonder there, I’ll only charge you half. I know a quiet place we can play in. I don’t get many good looking customers.”



“And no peddling your…wares in the shelter.” Naruto’s face was flaming to the point of even his ears turning red. “Get out, Sai. You aren’t welcome here.”



“Whatever.” Sai turned with a shrug and headed towards the exit. “Don’t take it out on me because you are unhappy with your dick size.”



Itachi stood, grabbed a handful of condoms and trotted after him. “Hey…wait up.”



Sai turned with a blank look. “Oh…so you did want to go out back. Well…it’s fifteen for a blow and fifty for a fuck. Half price. You look like you have more of a dick than Naruto. I’m sure I’ll enjoy it.”



“I only wanted to give you these. You forgot them.” Itachi offered the handful of condoms. “You know…if you want to get off the street…I know people who can help.”



Eyes dark enough to rival his own stared at him. “I’ll pass. Who would want to give up this life? All the fucks I could want.”



“Think about it.” Itachi offered the condoms along with his card. “I’ll help you.”



Sai took the condoms, shoving them in his pockets. The card he stared at for a while. “You don‘t look like the normal do -gooder.”



“Looks can be deceiving.”



“Maybe.” Sai continued to stare for several minutes. “Why waste your time here?”



“I owe it to God to spread his love.”



Sai’s lips quirked a little and he slid the card into a zipper pocket on his tight pants. “See you around, preacher. Tell dickless I’ll be back.”



Itachi watched him disappear. His heart clenched a little as he got into a rundown car parked on the curve. He wasn’t sure, but his heart ached at the thought of the young man being used. The desolate look was very similar to the look in every face walking the street in this part of town. He hid it well but not enough to completely banish it from sight. His eyes were begging to be saved.



“That shithead. I swear if I wasn’t such a nice person, I’d ban him from the shelter for real.” Naruto shook his head at Itachi. “Don’t waste your time with Sai. He’s a hopeless case. He’ll be dead in a year. The pros tell me he takes dangerous johns. I think he wants to die.”



“You don’t think he’s worth saving?”



Naruto shrugged. “I wasn’t worth saving but some do-gooder like you thought enough of me to get me straight. I just wish they’d come along before I got myself infected. Some times I wake up at night afraid that my T count has dropped. Or when I get a cold, I panic. Fucking HIV.”



“It’s alright to be scared, Naruto.” Itachi understood fear. He lived in fear of his congregation discovering he jerked off in the shower to the image of men. They would be scandalized and when the shock wore off, he would be out of job. Not that money really mattered. He had plenty of savings to live on comfortably for many years. It was the principle of the matter. If he couldn’t preach to people, he would lose a part of his soul.



“Yeah well, just be careful when dealing with Sai. You can’t trust his face. I personally think he’s one of those…what’s the word…psychopaths. They don’t feel anything but physical pain, right?” Naruto handed off a needle to an old junky. “Just be careful. I believe you when you say everyone can be saved, but Sai might be more than you can handle. If he wants to die…nothing can stop him.”



“You sound like you’ve tried.”



Naruto sniffed a little. “He’s been in and out of here for the last month or two. I offered to set him up with a job but he shrugged off the help. He’s not on anything that I know of. If it was the drugs, I could relate. But just prostitution…”



Itachi continued to think of Sai all the way home and during his Wednesday night sermon. On Sunday, he focused his sermon on Mary Magdalene and how she was a prostitute who was shown the light of Jesus’ grace. It must have been a particularly moving sermon, because several parishioners offered to volunteer with his monthly trip to the shelter as well as the offering plate being double what it usually was.



He’d just changed from his suit after his Sunday night service when his cell phone began ringing. “Hello?”



“Itachi Uchiha?”



Itachi frowned. “Yes?”



“It’s Sai.”



His breath hitched a bit, hand involuntarily clenching on the small phone. “I’m glad you called. How can I help you?”



“Can you pick me up?” Sai rattled off an address not far from the shelter before hanging up. He was tempted to call Naruto to pick him up since the other lived in a small apartment above the shelter. What stopped him was that Sai had called him, not Naruto. It was known anyone could call Naruto, day or night and if he could help, he would. Sai most likely had Naruto’s number on him just as he had Itachi’s. He’d called him instead of Naruto. On the streets, that meant something.



He slid on his sneakers and drove the van from his small house beside the church and to the neighborhood Sai had named. The hour kept traffic to a minimum, making the usually long drive shorter. He found the address and saw a familiar slender frame leaning heavily against the pay phone.



Itachi leaned over to unlock the door. “Get in.”



As Sai stepped into the light, his bleeding nose and swollen shut eye had Itachi panicking a little. “Lord…I’m taking you to the hospital.”



“Don’t…I’m fine…It doesn‘t hurt that bad.”



“The shelter then?” Itachi put the car in gear and started in the direction of the shelter.



“Naruto locks the doors at night.” Sai groaned faintly, shifting in his seat.



“He’ll open them for me.”



“Can we just go to your place?” Sai slid a glance towards Itachi. “I won’t stay long. Just long enough to maybe shower the blood off.”



Sai could very well rob and kill him. He didn’t know him other than a brief meeting earlier in the week. To Itachi, it was an easy call. He didn’t think twice of nodding to Sai and turning the van towards home.



The outside lights from the church lit the grounds as he pulled into his small drive. Sai could barely walk, and from the way he was limping, there was probably some tearing in his anus.



“Want to tell me what happened?”



Sai plastered on his smile--the effect losing something with the flaking blood and rapidly bruising face. “Just the same old shit.”



Itachi bit back another question to the evasive answer. He would care for Sai’s physical ailments first before working on his spiritual ones. He led Sai into the small home, stopping at the linen closet for towels and then his bedroom for a tee-shirt and some boxers. “The bath is in here. Call me when you get out and I’ll treat your injuries.”



Sai accepted the clothes without a thank you, disappearing into the bathroom. A short time later the water could be heard running. Itachi gathered up some first aid supplies and an ice pack for the swollen eye. Almost thirty minutes passed before the bathroom door opened and Sai appeared. Dressed in the over sized boxers and tee-shirt, he looked little more than a teenager.



“Come in the bedroom.” Itachi led him to a spare bedroom he kept for Sasuke when Hinata kicked him out due to her fluxing hormones. “Bend over.”



“Well, well. Looks like the preacher isn’t so pure.” Sai smirked, dropped his drawers and bent over the bed.



Itachi opened the tube of ointment and gently opened the pale cheeks. The opening was red and slightly seeping blood. Other than a little ripping, it looked fine. “You’ll need to avoid sex for a while or you’ll tear it worse.”



Itachi pulled on a glove from the kit and began to spread ointment along the inflamed pucker. He attempted to be as gentle as he could, the body tightened around his finger as he pressed inside. His face flamed red at the lust shooting into his long neglected penis, reminding him that it hade been almost five years since he’d been with anyone. Desire and shame flushed through him. This man had just been beaten badly and he was thinking of all the ways he could fuck him.



Sai hissed a little as he withdrew the finger. He didn’t move until Itachi helped him sit and began to spread antiseptic ointment on the open cuts and scratches across his face. A dark eye watched his motions. Sai didn’t speak, which seemed out of place.



“Here’s an ice pack. Lay here for a while. I’m going to fix you something to eat. You look like you don’t get enough.” Itachi stood and moved to leave when hands tugged him hard so that he fell onto the bed.



“You can do me…I don’t mind. I won’t even charge you because you actually came to help me. I can tell you want to.” Slender hands pressed into his crotch where his half hard erection jumped, hardening readily at the long missed attention. Sai’s hand moved back and forth, the friction forcing a reluctant moan escape Itachi’s lips.



It felt amazing. Sai was good at his job and knew exactly where to touch to make his body respond. Itachi’s body bemoaned the loss of the touch as he pushed Sai aside. “No. You don’t have to pay me with your body for helping you.”



“Am I not attractive enough?” Sai glanced in the bedroom mirror with a frown as if searching for some unseen flaw.



“You’re a little thin but that’s not why. I have certain morals I need to observe. Using you to satisfy myself is one of them.” Itachi moved towards the exit with as much pride as he could muster with an erection poking against his jeans. “I’m going to fix you something to eat. Then we’ll talk.”



The food was nearly finished warming when Sai limped into the kitchen, a neutral expression plastered on his face. His only response was a wince of pain as he settled into a chair. His eyes widened almost comically as several plates of food were placed before him. “You cook?”



“Actually, most of it is leftovers from some of the ladies in the church. They seem to think because I’m single, I don’t have any skills when it comes to taking care of myself,” chuckled Itachi.



Sai took a cautious bite, then another. His fingers gripped the fork in an obvious effort not to begin shoveling the food into his mouth as fast as he could. After a few bites, his grip relaxed.



Itachi felt another wave of pity for the man. His stomach was probably so shrunken from lack of food; he was already feeling full despite having eaten barely a thing. He watched as Sai continued to eat until every bite was gone from the plate. If not for the shirt, a visibly distended stomach would be obvious. “I’m glad you ate slowly. You know what happens when you eat too fast, don’t you?”



Sai glanced over at Itachi. “You get sick and puke your guts out.”



Itachi smirked at the matter-of-fact tone. “Indeed. Now that your stomach is full, let’s talk. Who beat you up?”



Sai shrugged his boney shoulders. “A trick. When I went with him, I didn’t know it was a party. Parties cost more. He and his friends didn’t like it.”



“So they raped and beat you.”



“Is is rape if you’re a prostitute?” asked Sai, his open eye staring deeply.



Itachi’s face hardened at the question. It shouldn’t have even been asked. Rape was rape. A woman could be raped by her husband and a prostitute could be raped by a john.



Sai slid his chair back, the wood scraping the linoleum floor loudly. “I’ll be out of your hair in the morning.”



“You can stay.” If there was anyone in the world Itachi wanted to save, it was Sai. It wasn’t because he was attracted to him or because he’d been beaten up and raped. It was because he saw a glimmer of something in his eyes. There was still someone to save inside the shell. “I have rules but if you follow them, you can stay as long as you like.”



“Rules?”



Itachi swallowed and hoped he wasn‘t making a mistake by doing this for Sai. “No more turning tricks. From today on, you are no longer a prostitute. I’ll give you a job at the church. The money’s not great but you can stay here with me until you get back on your feet. You will go to Sunday morning, evening, and Wednesday services. You won’t use the word penis, dick, or cock while in the presence of any of the parishioners.”



Sai blinked at him. “What about pink oboe? Skin flute? Schlong? Though…it is obvious I am not Jewish. I could pretend to be Jewish. If I pretended to be Jewish would the use of the word schlong be appropriate?”



“Just don’t talk about your penis…at all. To anyone.”



The smile on Sai’s face widened slightly. “Even you?”



Itachi fought the flush threatening to wash over his face. “Especially me.”



Sai heaved a heavy sigh. “I suppose I can handle that, what about talking about other people‘s penises. Dickless has a tiny one. I saw him once in the locker room. You’re not going to make me go back to the shelter and work with dickless, are you?”



“What did I say about penis names?”



Sai huffed loudly, probably the most animated he’d been all night. “Dickless is the lack of a penis. You didn’t say anything about talking about someone’s lack of penis status. You just said no penis talk.”



“Just…go to bed. And his name is Naruto.” Itachi refused to give Sai the satisfaction of seeing him frustrated by the conversation.



Sai wobbled towards his bedroom. “Oh, so that’s his name. I could have sworn it was dickless.”



The door shut before Itachi had a chance to open his mouth. He wondered if he was going to regret doing this.



oOo



Itachi set Sai up as a groundskeeper and handyman for the church. It took nearly a week before he was physically able to begin performing his duties. As such, Itachi allowed Sai to forgo Wednesday service. The bruises had turned an ugly purplish-yellow. He didn’t want to draw attention to Sai’s appearance.



Sunday morning found Sai sitting quietly in the kitchen. “How are you?”



“Why do you want me to go to the services? There is no God.” Sai glanced up from his coffee.



“If there was no God, you would be back on the streets, whoring for pocket change and praying to die. Why didn’t you die that night you called me? You could have easily jumped off a building. It was because you had faith I would come to you. And faith comes from God.” Itachi poured his own coffee. “How does the suit fit?”



“It’s really loose.” Sai plucked at the loose material of the pants with a hand.



“I wanted them big enough. You’re going to start putting on weight now that you’re eating every day.” Itachi glanced at the clock with a sigh before grabbing his bible and notes. “Time for Sunday school.”



Sai glanced wide eyed. Another curious expression breaking his normal bland look of near boredom. “What? You said three services. School was not part of the deal.”



“Why the look?” Itachi arched a brow.



Sai blushed a little, only a bit of faint coloring on his cheeks. “I can’t go.”



“Tell me why and I’ll decide that.”



There was a tightening of jaw and clenching of fists, making Itachi certain he wouldn’t reveal his reasons. “I can’t read…I mean,…I can a little…but not enough for school.”



Itachi had expected as much but he’d hoped he was wrong. This was his confirmation. “I’ll keep you in my class. I won’t ask you to read.”



Sai’s face resumed its polite neutrality. The nervous, fearful look was gone--hidden behind the shell once more. Itachi made a vow to permanently reveal what was beneath the shell.



Sai was a hit in the class of young adults. He was surprisingly polite to everyone who spoke to him. He remained safely behind his shell, but at least he wasn’t causing problems. The interesting part of the day came during the service.



He’d turned Sai over to Sasuke and Hinata. During the entire service, he kept glancing towards the three. Usually Sasuke dozed through the services, earning tiny elbows from Hinata if he began to snore. Instead of the usual antics, his eyes kept seeing Hinata and Sasuke’s eyes focused intently on Sai and whatever he was doing beside them. It obviously wasn’t necessarily bad, but it was distracting because of the curiosity flowing through him. He wanted to know what the hell had both of them so entranced.



When the service ended and the benediction began, he moved from the pulpit and passed where Sai stood. In his hand was the program for the service and on the back was a surprisingly accurate image of him at the pulpit. He stumbled a little; making his way towards the doors where he could receive anyone he needed to.



When all that was left was Sasuke, Hinata, and Sai, he stared dumbfounded at Sai. “Can I see it?”



“Itachi, it was amazing watching him draw that with one of those tiny pencils.” Hinata stared at Sai in amazement. “I didn’t even hear the sermon.”



“Maybe you shouldn’t tell him that,” offered Sasuke with a bit of an embarrassed flush.



“At least there was finally a service you were awake through.” Itachi sent an amused glance towards his brother, enjoying the way he squirmed. He turned his gaze towards Sai. “That’s amazing. Just drawing or do you paint as well?”



Sai tilted his head. “I can do both.”



“Good, because we were planning on redoing the walls in both the youth room and the nursery. I think we’ve finally found our artist.”



Part Two



The hand gripping the pencil moved in rapid swipes across the wall, sketching light line images onto the newly dried base coat of paint in the nursery. Already a few animals and tree sketches were developing. The room wouldn’t be steeped in religion, but mainly just comforting images that would provide some atmosphere for the infants and toddlers.



Itachi stood in silent observation of the elegant motions. Even though perfection wasn’t require, it was obvious Sai was putting every bit of his skill and attention into creating a masterpiece on the walls. Over the previous three weeks, the young former prostitute had become quite popular with the young single women in the church; surprisingly holding his tongue and playing the part of a normal well balanced human being.



If Itachi hadn’t been the one to pull him from the grip of the streets, he would never have realized Sai had participated in such a deprived and dangerous profession. The transformation was astounding, though Sai’s continued lack of enthusiasm in most things created a bit of worry in Itachi. Taking Sai away from the streets was only a temporary fix until he was emotionally stable enough to resist reverting to his previous profession. Sai used sex to keep others at a distance. It was a protective barricade to keep others at arm’s length.



He was obviously smart and Hinata had agreed to tutor him in reading on slow days. He had three meals a day, each taken with Itachi. For the most part he kept quietly to himself, almost as if he was afraid the peace would end and he would be once more on the streets. Despite Itachi’s best efforts, Sai continued to hold the despair and loneliness in his eyes. He put up a happy front for the congregation, but Itachi was a master at reading body language.



“He said he would finish the outlines today and begin painting tomorrow.”



Itachi turned to his sister-in-law. He’d been so caught up in his thoughts, he never heard her approach. She was nearly as good at reading people as he was. It made her the ideal wife for his brother. “There’s no rush.”



She chuckled low in her throat. “You Uchiha think you are so good at hiding what you are feeling. I’ve been married to Sasuke too long for much to get past me. You play the part very well, but I can tell you like him.”



As Hinata turned her pale eyes towards him, a swell of panic rose in him. The feeling was so acute, it had him clenching his teeth in an effort to keep from blurting out something he’d worked hard to keep hidden from his congregation. “Of course I like him. He’s a nice person who was wasted whoring for pocket change.”



“You know that’s not the type of like I meant. Don’t take me for a fool.”



One glance in her direction had him fighting not to shift nervously from foot to foot. “What do you think you know?”



She smiled faintly. There was no condescension in her tone, only worry in her gaze. “Itachi, I’ve known for a long time.”



His face remained neutral while emotion swirled through him with a force he struggled to contain. He hadn’t realized just how frightened he was about being discovered. That it was Hinata who first approached him was no surprise. She was very good at hiding in the background. “You could ruin me.”



“I don’t understand why you don’t let the congregation know. You don’t have much faith in us, do you?”



He sighed heavily, motioning for her to follow him to his office. He didn’t speak until the door was firmly shut behind them. “I don’t believe in some of the old testament teachings, but according to official church doctrine, they are still in effect because they are from the Bible. Many open homosexuals refuse to even attend church because they become ostracized or singled out. Pastors begin creating their sermons to single out those people. To have an admittedly gay man actually graduate from seminary school and preach to a congregation is almost heresy. Even if the majority of the church was in favor of my remaining, someone would report this to the main office and I would be asked to resign my position. If we go straight by the Bible, I’m already doomed to Hell for desiring the touch of men over women. There is no way I would be allowed to remain as the proverbial shepherd to the flock.”



“What about Shikamaru and Chouji? They seem to have made a place for themselves here,” she asked.



“The church can’t exclude anyone from the congregation, but gay parishioners are one thing, a gay pastor is another entirely. I don’t think I need to remind you how things were in the beginning for Shikamaru and Chouji. I consider it a small victory to not have them be the butt of condescending talk. They don’t sit in the back because they are shy.” It had been hard to bring about change in the church. Itachi never sought to change Shikamaru and Chouji’s affections for each other. Many of his congregation had asked him to suggest they leave. When Itachi refused, those members were the ones to leave. For a long time the church was divided, only gradually being won over. They didn’t approve, but they accepted Shikamaru and Chouji’s devotion to each other.



“Itachi…”



“Things are changing…but slowly.” Itachi smiled faintly at her.



“I think you should trust us,” Hinata argued.



Itachi shook his head, lifting a hand to silence her argument. “Thank you for your concern, Hinata; but please leave things to me. I don’t mind sacrificing for the greater good.”



“You shouldn’t have to sacrifice anything for anyone. What about Sai? How does he feel about you?”



Who knew what Sai was thinking? One couldn’t use visual cues to determine what was going through his head. “Sai has his own problems to work through. He has only been off the streets for less than a month. Even if my hands weren’t tied, I wouldn’t want him to feel obligated.”



Itachi pulled out his Bible and a began flipping through it in search of inspiration for his next sermon, effectively dismissing Hinata from his office. She opened her mouth, as if to argue more on her point. A poignant stare from the corner of Itachi’s eye had her closing her mouth with a snap.



“You’re going to have to come to some sort of peace. It’s not right for you to be alone.”



“That’s for me to decide on the matter.” Itachi swirled his office chair, turning it to face the window overlooking where the sun shown down on the meticulously kept lawn. The sound of the door shutting softly signaled her leaving.



His hands steepled on his lap. The pads of his fingers tapped against each other while he digested what Hinata had said. He knew who he was and was not ashamed to be homosexual but at the same time he feared others discovering it. His calling was for the church. He could do so much good in his current position. Losing his place was probably his greatest fear.



Then there was his strange partnership with his houseguest. They were strangers, having nothing in common but somehow living together in a sort of harmony. That wasn’t to say things were perfect. Sai was messed up. Physically his body was still recovering from the malnutrition. Mentally, he seemed to have locked away all emotions. He spoke calmly, hiding himself in his actions. Only when he drew did Sai’s true self break through the cracks. It allowed Itachi to observe him without the walls being raised.



Living with Sai for an extended period of time had revealed a lot about the inner workings of his brain. He was terrified of creating connections with people. He hadn’t said, but an abusive or neglectful childhood had probably lead to his living on the street. He didn’t have the look of being on the streets long, so he must have had some sort of home, be it dysfunctional or not.



Each revelation Sai allowed to come to light only made him all the more mysterious. He was a conundrum of dysfunction and longing--like a child longing for something more than just to survive. It also made Itachi desire him all the more. It wasn’t just a physical lust. Such a thing could easily be dealt with. He’d done it before. No. With Sai, he wanted to know everything about him. He wanted to see a true smile spread across his features. He wanted him to stop hiding behind derogatory words and actions. The past three weeks had dimmed the deep loneliness he’d existed in for so long.



“Itachi…”



Itachi glanced up to see Hinata standing once more in his doorway. A glance at the clock shown he’d been mentally analyzing himself and Sai for nearly an hour. Time seemed to have stopped as his mind ran wild with its disjointed thoughts. “Yes?”



“Sai’s finished as much as he can do today. I thought you two might want to call it an afternoon.”



Itachi’s eyes narrowed as he stood from his desk. “You aren’t interfering are you?”



“I said I wouldn’t.” She looked sad, almost as if she wished she could interfere.



His face softened towards her. “I’m sorry. It’s a testy subject. There are days I wonder if God put this burden on me for a reason.”



“What is you always say? God never gives us more than we can handle.”



He chuckled at her words. He’d always believed it and it lightened his heart to have the words reapplied to him. “You’re right. You and Sasuke could join us for dinner.”



She shook her head. “He promised me a quiet dinner with a foot rub afterwards. I plan on holding him to his word.”



A tapered brow arched. “If only the word knew the truth.”



“And what’s that?”



“That you are the boss of Sasuke. I’m not sure he could even tie his own shoes without you there.” Itachi flipped the lights and locked his office.



“Harsh,” she chuckled.



“But true,” he finished for her.



Sai approached, and for an instant Itachi couldn’t stop his eyes from drifting over the lean frame. He was rubbing his fingers with a hand, a slight frown creasing between his eyes.



“Is something wrong?” Itachi glanced towards where Sai’s hands stopped their massaging.



Sai glanced towards his hands as if he hadn’t realized he was rubbing them. “I’m not used to drawing. Sketching on walls is a little more difficult and forces your hands into odd positions.”



“I see.” Itachi took his hand and led him through the halls towards the exit and to his small house. He didn’t notice the wistful look Hinata gave them both as they passed.



Once inside, he disappeared into the bathroom, returning moments later with a tube of unscented Ben-Gay. “Sit.”



“This is appropriate as we are both gay,” mused Sai.



Itachi bit his tongue to keep from coming back with a scathing retort and began rubbing the ointment into the hands, focusing on the joints. He took the time to admire the slender, almost boney fingers. They tapered gently to surprisingly well kept nails. His skin was a little too pale for Itachi’s liking but he hoped to change that with some good nutrition and rest.



His hands stopped massaging and settled for rubbing the delicate skin from the slightly rougher pads of Sai’s fingers to the softer skin of his wrist. The body beside him shivered a little at the touch, dark eyes turning to watch his every motion.



“Would you like to fuck now?” Sai had a way about ruining even the best moments with his mouth. It wasn’t just the lack of knowing what to say. Sai knew what he was doing.



“Why do you do that?” Itachi asked, his hands releasing their grip on Sai’s.



“What?”



“Why did you say that when you know that’s not what this was about?” asked Itachi.



Any trace of emotion left Sai’s face as if doused with water. “All I asked was if you would like to fuck. I was offering as a thank you. You don’t get laid often, not counting your hand. Shows of gratitude are appropriate in times such as these…”



Itachi grabbed Sai’s shoulders and forced him to stare into his eyes. “I won’t deny you’ve become a weakness for me that I’m having trouble dealing with, but I won’t let you pretend you need to offer sexual favors for a little show of kindness. You’re afraid of people and use your body as a shield.”



“You’re mistaken.” Sai’s lips moved, slowly forming the words. The spark in his eyes was quickly masked. “I just want to fuck you.”



The weeks of food had strengthened Sai, allowing him to push Itachi back onto the couch. He didn’t allow Itachi’s momentary loss of equilibrium to go to waste. Lips quickly covered Itachi’s preventing words from escaping while his hand reached below to stroke the quickly hardening crotch.



Itachi’s mind was a mixture of confusion and lust. If Sai had kept his hands to himself, he could have resisted the other. With Sai quickly divesting him of what little remained of his control, Itachi found himself unable to fight back with any real conviction. His lips finally freed of the kiss could barely form words as Sai sucked on the skin below his jaw while his palm brought the erection he rubbed into full arousal.



Sai was quick--almost unnaturally so due to his previous profession. The moment his erection met air, Itachi wanted to scream out. It was quickly taken care of, hands cupping and stroking with upward pulls. “Oh Lord…”



“It’s you who is hiding. I’ve seen you pretending to be straight when at night I bet you beat off to the mental images men.” Sai quickly slid down between Itachi’s legs, his mouth engulfing the stiff erection in a well practiced motion.



“I have to…oh God!”



Itachi’s mouth fell open and his hips arched to press deeper in the hot warmth. Any residual resistance was lost to the wind. It wasn’t just the hot sucking mouth pleasuring him that sent him closer to the edge of reason. Since Sai had come to live with him, his fantasies had gone from anonymous men to one in particular. Now with that one man in particular applying almost perfect pressure to the head, he was pushed quickly to the edge. He was coming. His hands struggled to push Sai away. Sai refused, instead squeezing his balls gently to force him over into an almost embarrassingly quick orgasm.



Shudders ripped through him, his body emptying in the warm mouth. Sai’s throat contracted, sucking each drop down before sitting back on his heels. He carefully tucked Itachi back in his pants. “Better?”



“Why…why did you do that?”



“Because you needed it.” Sai moved away, pausing at the door to the hall bathroom. “You should let me do that more often. You look nice when you come. I don’t care that I’m not getting paid for it.”



Shame washed over Itachi in a rush at the sound of mouthwash being gargled in the guest bathroom. He’d had no defense for the attack. He could keep telling himself it had been too long since his last encounter but it was only an excuse. He’d wanted what happened and had taken advantage of Sai. He hadn’t fought like he could have. He’d allowed it to happen.



As much as he might want it. Sai’s actions forced Itachi to face a lot of things about himself and his life. It hurt because what he found amazing was nothing but repayment in Sai’s eyes. And he’d allowed it to happen. He’d sinned against God and Sai. He could have easily pushed him away. He’d chose not to because on some more primal level, he’d needed the human connection. And so the crux of the problem was revealed. He’d been fooling himself all these years. The solitude was finally beginning to eat away at him that he would take whatever physical contact he could.



The result forced him to face himself and how he was presented to his congregation. He’d always encouraged people to be accepting of homosexuals. He preached equality in the eyes of God while his personal life was left hidden. It was a lie.



This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to feel these things. Lust. Shame. Uncertainty. They all beat at him.



Not waiting for Sai to come back into the living room, Itachi left the house. Thinking was all he could do in a time like this, and he couldn’t think while being distracted by Sai’s presence.



He’d been walking mindlessly for almost two hours when he found his feet planted outside his brother’s house. He hadn’t even realized he’d been moving towards the two story house until he found himself there.



The sun continued its drop behind the roof as he made his way towards the front door. Hinata answered his knock, her eyes wide. “Itachi? I didn’t hear you drive up.”



“That’s because I walked,” he answered quietly. “May I come in?”



“Of course. Sasuke and I were just finishing dinner.” She moved aside to allow Itachi entrance.



Sasuke came from the dining room, his eyes questioning his brother’s evening arrival. “Has something happened?”



Itachi settled on the sofa, Sasuke took the chair, and Hinata settled on her husband’s lap. “I’ve made a mistake and I’m not sure how to fix it.”



“What happened?” Sasuke frowned at the stressed look on his brother’s face. “I’ll help if I can.”



“How do you feel about gays?”



Sasuke blinked. “I don’t feel anything. I mean, I’m not anti-gay or anything. I just never really thought about it since it never applied to me.”



The corner of Itachi’s lips twitched. “And if I told you I was gay?”



Hinata sat up at attention. “Itachi if this is about earlier...”



He lifted his hand to silence her. “It is and it isn’t. I suppose your words made me think about things and then other things happened. You were right. I can only hide for so long. Eventually I would be called on my bluff.”



“Itachi what’s this about?” Sasuke was at full attention. “Is it that whore living with you?”



“Sasuke!” Hinata slapped Sasuke over the head. “Sai isn’t a whore.”



“It only partly involves Sai. I’m gay. I’ve known since I was a teenager but I always wanted to attend seminary school. Ministering to the masses is what I’ve always wanted.” Itachi sat back waiting for the expected explosion from his brother.



It never came. Sasuke took a moment, digesting the information. “Well…I always thought you were a bit on the crooked side of straight but I assumed you were bisexual. I didn’t realize you were full out gay.”



“Itachi…” Hinata sat forward, taking his hands in hers. “We don’t care. The national conference might care because it’s filled with people from the previous generation but Sasuke and I don’t care. Shikamaru and Chouji won’t care. Most, if not all of your congregation won’t care.”



Sasuke nodded at Hinata’s statement. “Did you think I would be angry? Sure, I’m a little hurt you couldn’t trust me but I don’t really care. I just want you happy. I’m sure Mother and Father won’t care either. Are you going to tell the congregation? If you want to keep it hushed up, you know we won’t talk.”



Itachi smiled. “I’ve been lying to myself and God. I only wanted to confess to you before I present myself to my congregation.”



“You know we’ll be there for you.” Hinata wrapped her arms around him, her belly prodding him in the arm. Even the small creature inside seemed to be lending his support, kicking against Itachi’s arm.



“Thank you. Do you mind driving me home? I’d rather not walk back in the dark.” Itachi smirked a little at Sasuke.



Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I should make you walk back. I was going to woo my wife into watching a movie and snuggling before you barged in.”



“Just take me home before I set up Hinata with Naruto for your insolence.” Itachi kissed Hinata on the cheek as he left the house, Sasuke following petulantly behind him.



oOo



The house was quiet as Itachi walked into the living room. If not for the small light beneath Sai’s door, he would have thought the other was asleep already. His knuckles rapped lightly on the wood before entering. Sai was seated on the bed with a sketch book he quickly closed.



“I just wanted to tell you that what happened tonight won’t happen again. I don’t want your body in payment for a debt you think you owe. I shouldn’t have let it happen at all.”



Sai cocked his head to the side. “I didn’t mind.”



“I know but that isn’t what I want. I’m sorry.” Itachi closed the door quietly behind him. He couldn’t help but ache a little. Sai wasn’t ready for what he wanted and needed. He’d wanted what happened earlier but he only wanted it, if Sai wanted it and not as some misplaced sense of thanks.



He sat up the entire night composing his sermon for the following day. His hands shook a little as he slipped on his suit and walked towards the church--Sai having already left. Parishioners hugged and welcomed him, each on their way towards their respective Sunday school classes. Throughout the class, Sai remained quiet and observant in his corner seat. The paint staining his hands revealed the reason for his early rising.



Sunday school passed as it always did; though the closer to his sermon, the more unsettled he became. He swallowed as he made his way to the pulpit. The morning prayers, hymns, and invocations only delayed the inevitable. Staring out over the congregation, he wondered if he was truly ready to give this up for an unknown future.



The final hymn before his sermon ended and the congregation took their seats, leaving Itachi to take his place. “I was sitting here just now; thinking to myself how much I love ministering to you. Last night I had a revelation. For the five years I’ve held this position, I’ve lied to each and every one of you. I never lied to you in what I preached. I stand by each and every sermon. My lies are more of an internal dilemma.”



Itachi glanced towards Hinata and Sasuke for support. Both looked to him with love evident on their faces. “Since I was a teenager, I’ve always hidden what I was. I didn’t do it out of fear for my life but more out of fear for my calling. Last night, I came to an understanding with my family and with God. Their support is what gives me the courage to stand here before you, all who I consider friends and family, and tell you that I am gay. It is not the work of the Devil as some might preach but the way God made me. I’m human.”



The congregation was deathly silent. The silence could go either way. With no visible cues to how they were taking it, he trudged on. “God is a merciful god. He doesn’t judge us on who we love. We can’t pretend to understand what He has planned for us. As long as we give everything to Him, He will look out for us. That is why I’ve decided to submit my resignation from this position.”



Where silence reigned before, now upheaval presented. Loud denials roared through the sanctuary walls. A single lifted hand silenced the room. “I don’t do this because I’m forced to but because I think it’s time for me to put to use my talents to different uses. I’ve already prepared a letter to the national convention and hope you forgive me for the sudden notice. Perhaps my skills are better used for ministering to those who have little hope. I will miss each of you and hope you will allow me to continue to call you family. Let us pray; not only for my path, but also for each of you and what lies in your own hearts.”



The prayers, benediction, and final hymn were given before nearly the entire congregation swamped him with questions and pleas to remain. He fended them off as best he could, only able to relax when the last church goer left the building. A hand on his arm stopped him from leaving as well.



“You’re leaving because of me?”



Itachi turned to see Sai. “No. I’m leaving because its what’s best for everyone. I can’t play a part I’m not longer willing to play. I can’t pretend to be something I’m not. Until you came, I didn’t realize how lonely I was.”



Sai stared at him before turning and tugging him towards the nursery. It smelled heavily of paint but as soon as the lights were flipped, all thoughts left him. Lions, lambs, giraffes, horses, rabbits, and many other animals strolled along the walls. They looked so alive, as if they might step from the walls and into the room.



“It’s beautiful.”



“You gave this to me. You gave me back the art I’d forgotten I had in me. I grew up in a home with a drunk father who only cared about having enough money to stay perpetually drunk. I used drawing to cope but when the state took me away, I was placed in an abusive home. I no longer had my drawing. After a while, I no longer had the will to draw. You saved me. You gave me back my drawing. I didn’t come onto you because I wanted to repay you.” Sai frowned, his brow creasing as if searching for the right words. “I like you but you don’t do anything.”



Itachi flushed slightly at the confession. “I’m not sure what you’re telling me.”



Sai flushed faintly, his eyes dropping. “You were right. I do use my body as a shield but I also use it as a way to express how I feel. I’m not good with words. I suppose in that sense, I’m like Dickless.”



Itachi felt warmth rush into him. It wasn’t exactly perfect. Sai might not realize what he was saying or perhaps change his mind later. But the admittance was more than enough to create a bond between the two. “You shouldn’t call Naruto that.”



“I’m serious. His dick is tiny. More like a large clit than an actual penis.”



Itachi shoved Sai from the room only to have arms wrapped around his waist. His hand lifted to stroke through the short black locks laying flat against Sai’s skull. “Are you sure this is what you want? My future is uncertain. I’m sure I could arrange for you to stay here as a groundskeeper.”



“Uncertain is living on the streets while waiting for the john who will finally kill you.”



Itachi frown, his arms tightening around Sai’s chest. “Don’t ever go back to that.”



Sai looked up at Itachi, his lips widening in a smile. The difference was, this one reached his eyes. “I promise. But we don’t have to worry about that because I’m going with you. Thank you for saving me.”



Itachi pressed a gentle kiss on Sai’s lips, the loneliness completely gone for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime. “That should be me saying that.”



“The prostitute saving the preacher?”



“It does sound out of place.“ Itachi led Sai through the halls and out of the church. “Are you going to show me what you were sketching in the book?”



“Maybe one day.” Sai smiled openly. His face still contained a hooded expression that would be long in leaving but he now had the smile Itachi had long wanted on his face. Their future might be uncertain but they would not be alone.



The End