Sassychan
folder
Naruto › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
32
Views:
1,892
Reviews:
49
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Naruto › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
32
Views:
1,892
Reviews:
49
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Naruto, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 26: When It Rains, It Pours Part 3
Author’s Notes:
Hi! Hi! Sorry about this very late update. Hehehe, I was trying to track down my dharma (yes I am already having midlife crisis despite being at the age of 23), and yet it kept eluding me.
Special Thanks to Tina who edited this. And Special Thanks also to Tiffie who is making a doushinji out of Sassy-chan (I am terribly excited!!)
Hope you all had a very nice Christmas and New Year! Mine rocked:)
DISCLAIMER:
Can’t, will never, own Naruto.
Sassychan
By boyarina
Chapter 26: When It Rains, It Pours Part 3
1 “Sasuke! Sakura!”
This was the last coherent statement that Naruto made before Sasuke leapt forth and attached herself to him. All things considered, the sentence would not even have qualified as a correct sentence as it didn’t even have a verb and the rest of the qualifying objects included in the predicate. We, however, are going to stand by the allegation that this was the last coherent statement that Uzumaki Naruto said the second following his arrival in their more than topsy-turvy household.
2 “Ack! Wha—Hey! St—omph! Omph!”
Heard that exclamation Naruto uttered? It was so much like an ancient garbled language that not even a Nobel prize linguist would have dared to begin deciphering its context. Not only that, due to the pg-18 rating of the scene being enacted, it is my honest opinion that the linguist wouldn’t have bothered listening and analyzing what was being said, but would rather have just simply watched and learned from our beloved dead-last and the Uchiha prodigy.
3 “Intruder! Stop kissing Naruto! Geroff him!”
4 Freeze that scene in your head for just a teeny tiny minute, will you?
Naruto, straight as a rod, balanced precariously on the balls of his feet. Sasuke glomped on him like a magnet to a metal—kissing him like there’s no tomorrow. Lastly, Sakura, holding Sasuke by the waist while she tried to unplug Sasuke from Naruto’s mouth and the rest of his body. Cute isn’t it? You’d almost practically wish you were there to join in.
5 Though we might enjoy this display (as evidenced by the imaginary hearts and butterflies floating over our heads), it's a pity there were just some people who did not appreciate it. Take Ms. Grumpy Haruno Sakura for instance.
6 “Stoooooppppppppp thhhhiiissssss maaaaddddnnnnneeessss!!!” Sakura hollered at the top of her lungs, and laced her fingers even more tightly against each other as she tugged harder on the Sasuke clone’s abdomen. She planted her feet on Nareuto's legs as she continued to pull.
“Omph! Omph! OMph!”
7 As Naruto desperately cried for help, Sakura cringed and shook her head furiously. The clone was not just simply harassing Naruto, she was practically devouring him. She was nearly on the brink of sucking the life out of him. Honestly! Even with the dose of love potion Sakura had given her, the level at which she was reacting was wayyyyyyy too exaggerated. True, Sakura might have emptied the almost full vial of potion in the clone’s drink and though she had drank it to the last drop, her behavior right now was inexcusable!
8 Why couldn't a crowbar appear suddenly in one’s hand when one desperately needs it? Why? Why? This girl had to be pried off Naruto! She needed to be attached securely to one end of a 100-foot pole and Naruto attached to the other end of said pole so they would be kept as far away from each other as possible!
Where in the seven hells was that crowbar? Couldn’t the devils just pitch it over to her, or better yet throw it at all of their heads? That way all of them would get knocked out and wake up in hopefully, a more normal world.
A world wherein Sasuke look-alikes didn’t speak like girls, and didn’t have a set of boobs. A world wherein a male Sasuke would completely and helplessly fall deeply in love with her the second he took a single sip out of her love potion. Yes, an exact opposite version of this world she had accidentally stumbled upon, that was what she wanted to wake up in.
9 Sakura grunted heavily as she heaved, tugged and pulled; heaved, tugged and pulled, repeating the same action over and over again with no visible results.
“Uzumaki Naruto! Would you quit being a mannequin and help me save you!” Sakura ordered angrily. “Don’t tell me that you are enjoying this?!”
At long last, Naruto was jolted from his trance-like state. For the first time in the past three minutes, he hastened to make use of his hands to regain his balance and proceeded to assist Sakura detach the seemingly leech-related clone off him.
“You push and I pull, Uzumaki!” Sakura said breathlessly. “One, two, three!”
Success! They finally got the clone an arm length’s away from Naruto. Still, the clone struggled in Sakura's grasp, pumping her legs in the air so she could get back to the position she had been in before. Sakura would not let that happen though. Nope. Most certainly not in this life time.
10 “What the hell has gotten into you Sasuke?” Naruto demanded, wide-eyed, lips reddened from that bruising kiss (Hmph! Life threatening kiss if you asked Sakura!)
“She’s not Sasuke, Naruto! She’s a girl!” Sakura hurriedly explained, as she kept a tight rein on the clone, who seemed intent on ravishing Naruto again.
“Both of you shut-up!” the clone throatily ground out. “Dobe, lie on the bed!”
Naruto’s eyes bulged further out their sockets, and Sakura gave a loud gasp
“That’s just vulgar, you clone! You impersonator!” Sakura yelled.
“What’s wrong with you, teme!” Naruto spluttered.
Sakura exhaled exasperatedly. “Naruto, SHE is NOT Sasuke!”
Naruto peered past the clone’s shoulder and looked at her, surprised. “You know teme’s secret?”
Sakura scowled. “No. What I said is—“
“Dobe, get this over with and tell her I’m Uchiha Sasuke. Then, get on the fucking bed!” The clone impatiently said, cutting Sakura off.
A blush started to creep up Naruto’s neck. He swept his eyes from Sakura to the clone. The beginnings of an epilepsy attack had taken a hold of one of his eyebrows.
“Saku-chan, the Hokage testified that this is Uchiha Sasuke , cursed to be a female. Now could someone explain to me why she is talking like this?”
Sakura reeled back a little. “W-wha? What do you mean?”
The clone (Sasuke?) growled. “He means that I’m Sasuke like I told you before! Now quit yakking, release me and dobe, Get. On. The. Bed!”
“I think I am going to go crazy.” Sakura said faintly. The only upside she could see in the very twisted situation was that, at least, Naruto was NOT gay.
11 Sasuke (the clone?) grunted. “What? You are not already crazy? Why are you waiting? Naruto, would you please get your behind moving and get on the bed? How many times do I have to say this?”
‘Teme, are you honestly gong to fuck me?” Naruto asked, frowning. “Can you actually hear what you are sa—“
“I had her drink a love potion,” Sakura numbly interrupted. “Is this really Sasuke?”
Naruto tilted his head up and pinched the bridge of his nose. “A love potion? You let teme drink a love potion?”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” Sasuke groaned, sounding as if she wanted to start banging her head on the nearest solid object. “Could everyone stop talking and, dobe, get—“
“On the bed! We know that already!” Sakura bellowed, snapping her attention back to reality. "Would you take a hold of yourself? It’s the love potion that is making act this way! Naruto’s not even your type!”
“Do look like I care?” Sasuke returned snappishly. “I just need to get a piece of him!” That said, Sasuke began flailing anew; straining with all her might to, undoubtedly, glomp Naruto once again. Sakura redoubled her efforts to hold Sasuke in place.
"Sasuke, girls do not this kind of thing!” Sakura exclaimed, trying her best to sound scandalized. She hadn’t yet fully accepted the fact that this girl was Sasuke, but still, she needed to get through to her. She couldn’t just let Sasuke disgrace herself by ravaging a man. Sasuke couldn’t just loose her precious flower that way! It wasn't right! More so, Naruto could not just be raped by Sasuke, of all people. She had to help Naruto, for not in a million years would he be able to get himself out of this kind of situation.
She had to think of a plan that would kill two birds with one stone!
12 “Ne, Saku- chan, teme, I’m getting a little bit tired of this. When does the potion actually wear off?” Naruto commented, the frown of befuddlement still on his face. “And teme, wouldn’t it be so much nicer to seduce me than to throw yourself at me?"
“I do what I want to do,” Sasuke snapped. “I DON’T CARE what you girls normally do. I DON’T CARE for what is nicer to do. Can’t you just get on the freaking bed, dobe?”
A light bulb tinged inside Sakura’s head. She had got it; the solution to all of their problems. The best part of it was, she derived it from Sasuke’s words.
In an encouraging tone, she said, “Sasuke-kun, how about you get undressed, lie on the bed and Naruto here will join you once you are ready?”
Sasuke harrumphed. The effort she had been exerting to counter Sakura’s hold on her lessened a notch or two. If there had been any other chance to goad Sasuke into taking her idea, Sakura knew this was it.
“You could freshen up and he will make love to you all day loooonnngggg,” She said, sealing the deal, and pointedly looked at Naruto, instructing him with her eyes to smile becomingly.
As Sasuke pressed her lips in contemplation, Naruto did as she had suggested— and smiled so beguilingly, he looked for a moment there like one handsome, one very handsome devil.
(Oh, shoot, that love potion wasn’t supposed to be contagious…)
“Okay.”
13 Sakura blinked several times the moment Sasuke gave in to her and consequently broke away to go to the bedroom. Sakura collected herself, and sorted through her brain to find the plan she had actually lost whilst being muddled by Naruto's smile.
Having finally retrievd the plan (with Inner Sakura waving the blueprint of it excitedly in the air) Sakura snapped her fingers and turned to Naruto.
“Turn into a girl now!”
Instead of immediately obeying her, Naruto pulled a long face. “But—“
“Naruto!” she demanded, irritation prickling at her skin. This was instantly joined by panic when Sasuke tore out of the bedroom, headed straight for Naruto.
Why couldn’t Naruto just do what she said?
“Naruto, now!”
“Oh, all right!” He acquiesced reluctantly, and grumbled something under his breath. Then, he poised his fingers to execute the jutsu….
Poof!
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
I know this is a tiny bit shorter than what you have expected. More to come. More NaruxSasu action to come anyways then I shall go into the main story line. I might hurry the story up. I might put in details at a later time. Er, hopefully I would be able to get this done before chapter 40 comes up:)
Hi! Hi! Sorry about this very late update. Hehehe, I was trying to track down my dharma (yes I am already having midlife crisis despite being at the age of 23), and yet it kept eluding me.
Special Thanks to Tina who edited this. And Special Thanks also to Tiffie who is making a doushinji out of Sassy-chan (I am terribly excited!!)
Hope you all had a very nice Christmas and New Year! Mine rocked:)
DISCLAIMER:
Can’t, will never, own Naruto.
Sassychan
By boyarina
Chapter 26: When It Rains, It Pours Part 3
1 “Sasuke! Sakura!”
This was the last coherent statement that Naruto made before Sasuke leapt forth and attached herself to him. All things considered, the sentence would not even have qualified as a correct sentence as it didn’t even have a verb and the rest of the qualifying objects included in the predicate. We, however, are going to stand by the allegation that this was the last coherent statement that Uzumaki Naruto said the second following his arrival in their more than topsy-turvy household.
2 “Ack! Wha—Hey! St—omph! Omph!”
Heard that exclamation Naruto uttered? It was so much like an ancient garbled language that not even a Nobel prize linguist would have dared to begin deciphering its context. Not only that, due to the pg-18 rating of the scene being enacted, it is my honest opinion that the linguist wouldn’t have bothered listening and analyzing what was being said, but would rather have just simply watched and learned from our beloved dead-last and the Uchiha prodigy.
3 “Intruder! Stop kissing Naruto! Geroff him!”
4 Freeze that scene in your head for just a teeny tiny minute, will you?
Naruto, straight as a rod, balanced precariously on the balls of his feet. Sasuke glomped on him like a magnet to a metal—kissing him like there’s no tomorrow. Lastly, Sakura, holding Sasuke by the waist while she tried to unplug Sasuke from Naruto’s mouth and the rest of his body. Cute isn’t it? You’d almost practically wish you were there to join in.
5 Though we might enjoy this display (as evidenced by the imaginary hearts and butterflies floating over our heads), it's a pity there were just some people who did not appreciate it. Take Ms. Grumpy Haruno Sakura for instance.
6 “Stoooooppppppppp thhhhiiissssss maaaaddddnnnnneeessss!!!” Sakura hollered at the top of her lungs, and laced her fingers even more tightly against each other as she tugged harder on the Sasuke clone’s abdomen. She planted her feet on Nareuto's legs as she continued to pull.
“Omph! Omph! OMph!”
7 As Naruto desperately cried for help, Sakura cringed and shook her head furiously. The clone was not just simply harassing Naruto, she was practically devouring him. She was nearly on the brink of sucking the life out of him. Honestly! Even with the dose of love potion Sakura had given her, the level at which she was reacting was wayyyyyyy too exaggerated. True, Sakura might have emptied the almost full vial of potion in the clone’s drink and though she had drank it to the last drop, her behavior right now was inexcusable!
8 Why couldn't a crowbar appear suddenly in one’s hand when one desperately needs it? Why? Why? This girl had to be pried off Naruto! She needed to be attached securely to one end of a 100-foot pole and Naruto attached to the other end of said pole so they would be kept as far away from each other as possible!
Where in the seven hells was that crowbar? Couldn’t the devils just pitch it over to her, or better yet throw it at all of their heads? That way all of them would get knocked out and wake up in hopefully, a more normal world.
A world wherein Sasuke look-alikes didn’t speak like girls, and didn’t have a set of boobs. A world wherein a male Sasuke would completely and helplessly fall deeply in love with her the second he took a single sip out of her love potion. Yes, an exact opposite version of this world she had accidentally stumbled upon, that was what she wanted to wake up in.
9 Sakura grunted heavily as she heaved, tugged and pulled; heaved, tugged and pulled, repeating the same action over and over again with no visible results.
“Uzumaki Naruto! Would you quit being a mannequin and help me save you!” Sakura ordered angrily. “Don’t tell me that you are enjoying this?!”
At long last, Naruto was jolted from his trance-like state. For the first time in the past three minutes, he hastened to make use of his hands to regain his balance and proceeded to assist Sakura detach the seemingly leech-related clone off him.
“You push and I pull, Uzumaki!” Sakura said breathlessly. “One, two, three!”
Success! They finally got the clone an arm length’s away from Naruto. Still, the clone struggled in Sakura's grasp, pumping her legs in the air so she could get back to the position she had been in before. Sakura would not let that happen though. Nope. Most certainly not in this life time.
10 “What the hell has gotten into you Sasuke?” Naruto demanded, wide-eyed, lips reddened from that bruising kiss (Hmph! Life threatening kiss if you asked Sakura!)
“She’s not Sasuke, Naruto! She’s a girl!” Sakura hurriedly explained, as she kept a tight rein on the clone, who seemed intent on ravishing Naruto again.
“Both of you shut-up!” the clone throatily ground out. “Dobe, lie on the bed!”
Naruto’s eyes bulged further out their sockets, and Sakura gave a loud gasp
“That’s just vulgar, you clone! You impersonator!” Sakura yelled.
“What’s wrong with you, teme!” Naruto spluttered.
Sakura exhaled exasperatedly. “Naruto, SHE is NOT Sasuke!”
Naruto peered past the clone’s shoulder and looked at her, surprised. “You know teme’s secret?”
Sakura scowled. “No. What I said is—“
“Dobe, get this over with and tell her I’m Uchiha Sasuke. Then, get on the fucking bed!” The clone impatiently said, cutting Sakura off.
A blush started to creep up Naruto’s neck. He swept his eyes from Sakura to the clone. The beginnings of an epilepsy attack had taken a hold of one of his eyebrows.
“Saku-chan, the Hokage testified that this is Uchiha Sasuke , cursed to be a female. Now could someone explain to me why she is talking like this?”
Sakura reeled back a little. “W-wha? What do you mean?”
The clone (Sasuke?) growled. “He means that I’m Sasuke like I told you before! Now quit yakking, release me and dobe, Get. On. The. Bed!”
“I think I am going to go crazy.” Sakura said faintly. The only upside she could see in the very twisted situation was that, at least, Naruto was NOT gay.
11 Sasuke (the clone?) grunted. “What? You are not already crazy? Why are you waiting? Naruto, would you please get your behind moving and get on the bed? How many times do I have to say this?”
‘Teme, are you honestly gong to fuck me?” Naruto asked, frowning. “Can you actually hear what you are sa—“
“I had her drink a love potion,” Sakura numbly interrupted. “Is this really Sasuke?”
Naruto tilted his head up and pinched the bridge of his nose. “A love potion? You let teme drink a love potion?”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” Sasuke groaned, sounding as if she wanted to start banging her head on the nearest solid object. “Could everyone stop talking and, dobe, get—“
“On the bed! We know that already!” Sakura bellowed, snapping her attention back to reality. "Would you take a hold of yourself? It’s the love potion that is making act this way! Naruto’s not even your type!”
“Do look like I care?” Sasuke returned snappishly. “I just need to get a piece of him!” That said, Sasuke began flailing anew; straining with all her might to, undoubtedly, glomp Naruto once again. Sakura redoubled her efforts to hold Sasuke in place.
"Sasuke, girls do not this kind of thing!” Sakura exclaimed, trying her best to sound scandalized. She hadn’t yet fully accepted the fact that this girl was Sasuke, but still, she needed to get through to her. She couldn’t just let Sasuke disgrace herself by ravaging a man. Sasuke couldn’t just loose her precious flower that way! It wasn't right! More so, Naruto could not just be raped by Sasuke, of all people. She had to help Naruto, for not in a million years would he be able to get himself out of this kind of situation.
She had to think of a plan that would kill two birds with one stone!
12 “Ne, Saku- chan, teme, I’m getting a little bit tired of this. When does the potion actually wear off?” Naruto commented, the frown of befuddlement still on his face. “And teme, wouldn’t it be so much nicer to seduce me than to throw yourself at me?"
“I do what I want to do,” Sasuke snapped. “I DON’T CARE what you girls normally do. I DON’T CARE for what is nicer to do. Can’t you just get on the freaking bed, dobe?”
A light bulb tinged inside Sakura’s head. She had got it; the solution to all of their problems. The best part of it was, she derived it from Sasuke’s words.
In an encouraging tone, she said, “Sasuke-kun, how about you get undressed, lie on the bed and Naruto here will join you once you are ready?”
Sasuke harrumphed. The effort she had been exerting to counter Sakura’s hold on her lessened a notch or two. If there had been any other chance to goad Sasuke into taking her idea, Sakura knew this was it.
“You could freshen up and he will make love to you all day loooonnngggg,” She said, sealing the deal, and pointedly looked at Naruto, instructing him with her eyes to smile becomingly.
As Sasuke pressed her lips in contemplation, Naruto did as she had suggested— and smiled so beguilingly, he looked for a moment there like one handsome, one very handsome devil.
(Oh, shoot, that love potion wasn’t supposed to be contagious…)
“Okay.”
13 Sakura blinked several times the moment Sasuke gave in to her and consequently broke away to go to the bedroom. Sakura collected herself, and sorted through her brain to find the plan she had actually lost whilst being muddled by Naruto's smile.
Having finally retrievd the plan (with Inner Sakura waving the blueprint of it excitedly in the air) Sakura snapped her fingers and turned to Naruto.
“Turn into a girl now!”
Instead of immediately obeying her, Naruto pulled a long face. “But—“
“Naruto!” she demanded, irritation prickling at her skin. This was instantly joined by panic when Sasuke tore out of the bedroom, headed straight for Naruto.
Why couldn’t Naruto just do what she said?
“Naruto, now!”
“Oh, all right!” He acquiesced reluctantly, and grumbled something under his breath. Then, he poised his fingers to execute the jutsu….
Poof!
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
I know this is a tiny bit shorter than what you have expected. More to come. More NaruxSasu action to come anyways then I shall go into the main story line. I might hurry the story up. I might put in details at a later time. Er, hopefully I would be able to get this done before chapter 40 comes up:)