Almost Sucks

Almost Sucks
by Mashiro

Naruto fandom, series, no spoilers
AU, BOYS LOVE: Naruto x Sasuke, Kakashi x Iruka, Lee x Gaara

first version: July 7th 2006, Friday
second version: September 16th 2008, Tuesday

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DISCLAIMER: I don’t own the rights to the Naruto series or characters and I make no money writing this. I’m just a fan. This is fan fiction.

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28: The princess thing

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Naruto was sitting on his bed, arms crossed over his chest, forehead wrinkled in a deep frown and eyes squeezed close, thinking about whether or not he should clean his room properly for once.

He shouldn’t have to. The room wasn’t that messy. Sasuke only complained when he had to kick stuff out of the way before he walked in or before he sat or lay down, or if something managed to hide somewhere and hurt him, and it wasn’t that messy now. Besides, it was Naruto’s room and not supposed to be all cleaned up. Didn’t they mostly stay on the bed anyway? At that, Naruto’s face went from determined and thinking to grinning. Yes, keeping the bed clean was the most important thing.

Though, it might be a surprise. It might be a good idea to show Sasuke that Naruto could be tidy when he wanted to. Naruto had seen a show on TV once, where wives were complaining about their messy husbands, who never cleaned or cooked or did anything. Now, Naruto wasn’t a half-bad cook, so that wouldn’t be a problem; but it wouldn’t be bad if he could earn a few more points by letting Sasuke know that he could clean up as well, and not just the dishes. After all, Sasuke kept his room very clean, practically boring… Yes, it was boring! The only fun things in Sasuke’s room were Sasuke and his CD-bookcase; the CD-bookcase was cool.

Yeah… maybe Naruto should clean up the room some. At least take the dirty laundry to the bathroom. And throw away that half-eaten slice of microwave pizza from yesterday; yes, throwing away food was bad, but he probably wouldn’t finish it anyway. And maybe he could... Naruto grabbed his comforter and sniffed… change the bedding. Simple stuff like that, nothing too fancy. If he stopped thinking about it and just did it, he might have time to finish before Sasuke came over. It would be a nice surprise.

Naruto had almost made up his mind when the door to his room opened. He flinched in surprise and looked up with ‘you didn’t even give me time to make up my mind!’ running through his head, because it had to be Sasuke. Iruka wouldn’t be home yet and who else could it be?

It was Gaara. He stopped in the middle of the room and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Hello.”

“Gaara?” Naruto frowned. “What are you doing here?”

Gaara was frowning too, but it was his everyday frown, he wore it often. He stared at Naruto for a moment, a short moment, then Naruto remembered and jumped off the bed.

“You can’t be here!” he yelled. “Why are you here!?”

“Lee dumped me,” Gaara said seriously.

“Huh?” It was a whine really, because Naruto felt desperate to get Gaara out and he knew Lee would never dump him.

“It’s a joke,” Gaara said, as if Naruto needed the information, and looked out the window. “But he’s away somewhere. The house was empty when I got there.”

“You can’t be here now! Sasuke’s coming over!”

And Naruto didn’t want Gaara to still be here when he came; it would set the wrong mood entirely. Gaara would say something stupid and Sasuke would get pissed and lose his interest in kissing and Naruto would have to waste time getting the interest back again.

“So?” Gaara frowned.

“He… He’s coming over! We’re… Iruka’s not home yet, so we… You know!”

Now Gaara was just staring.

“We want some privacy!” Naruto shouted and threw his arms out.

“I can be here.”

“No! No. Definitely not.”

“Why not? You’re with me and Lee all the time.”

“That… That’s not the same thing! We’re friends! Sasuke is… He’s sort of… well, shy.”

“He’s shy?”

“Yeah! He doesn’t like people being around when we... you know...”

Gaara’s frown melted away and his lips molded into a smirk.

“When you do what? How far have you two gotten now? It’s been almost a month since you jumped him.”

“Why do you keep asking that?” Naruto muttered and his face got warm again. “I didn’t jump him first of all! And, well... We kiss. And... stuff. I don’t know.”

“You must have gotten into his pants.”

“Wha…? No!”

Gaara frowned.

“Why not?”

“Because! He… These things take time.”

“Not necessarily,” Gaara said and the smile he had on and the glint in his eyes said the rest.

“Stop that! You guys are an exception. Sasuke and me are… Sasuke is…”

“A princess?”

“He’s special,” Naruto glared. “I don’t want to screw anything up.”

Before Gaara could open his mouth Naruto pointed at him.

“And don’t say anything like what I know you’re going to say! Not everything has to be a dirty word!”

Gaara raised his brows and smiled. Naruto threw his arms out and sighed.

“I just don’t want to... scare him, or hurt him or move too fast. He is special. He’s like… so special.”

He looked out the window: Blue sky; clouds that were so thin they were almost not there at all.

“Lee tried to pull that on me when we first got together,” Gaara said and the sudden seriousness in his voice drove Naruto to look back at him. “The princess thing. Not that I let him, but he tried.”

“What princess thing?”

“He was afraid to touch me. He held himself back. He didn’t want to dirty me. He saw me as this perfect and pure being. Can you imagine? Me?”

Gaara snorted in amusement but his eyes weren’t smiling.

“Now as I said, I snapped Lee out of it pretty quickly; but Sasuke doesn’t do that with you, does he? He’s, as you put it, shy; or he’s scared, or inexperienced.”

“He’s not inexperienced,” Naruto snorted before he could stop himself. “He has a lot of experience; I’m the one who’s inexperienced.”

“Another reason for you to be insecure and justify holding yourself back. How will you compete with all that experience?”

“We’re practicing,” Naruto grumbled, embarrassed. “I’m not insecure, I’m just...”

“I know you, Naruto,” Gaara said. “This is not your style. If you had been yourself today I would have walked in on something R-rated when I came here.”

Naruto opened his mouth to say ‘you wouldn’t have!’ or ‘but it’s Sasuke!’ or ‘but he’s so special!’, but then he realized and had to close his mouth again. It rang true, what Gaara said. This wasn’t him. He had felt there was something there, something slowing him down, but he hadn’t known what it was, or even really known that it was really there. Gaara was right, this wasn’t his style, not how he usually handled things. His stomach swirled at the thought.

“Of course he’s special,” Gaara continued as if he’d heard Naruto’s unspoken words. “But he’s still a fifteen year old guy with hormones.”

Naruto chuckled at that, grasping at anything that could lighten the mood.

“Yeah, he does have hormones.”

“And you have hormones.”

“Yeah...” Naruto nodded, then he realized something else. “Shit! You have to go; he’ll be over any minute!

“No, he won’t.”

“Yes, he will! Come on!”

“Sasuke left with his dad in a car when I got here.”

“What? No, he said he would come over and…”

Naruto went over to the window. Sasuke’s house was dark and the car was gone.

“Aww...” Naruto groaned and sat down on the floor. “I’ve been dumped too.”

“Maybe Gai and Sasuke’s father have arranged an arranged marriage between their children.”

“What?” Naruto said. “That’s ridiculous! Don’t say that!”

“They do work together.”

“They do? Are you sure Sasuke was in the car?”

“Yes,” Gaara said wistfully. “He looked excited. His father must have told him stories about how good his new husband is in bed. Don’t you wish you had pleasured him sooner?”

“Stop talking!” Naruto yelled. “He’s not gonna marry anyone but me! And I pleasure him! If you knew how much I pleasure him...”

“You could tell me,” Gaara sounded evilly hopeful.

“No!” Naruto blushed as he realized what he’d said. Then he sighed; Gaara could be so frustrating. “You shouldn’t talk about Lee that way either. He wouldn’t leave you.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Gaara shook his head. “Sasuke is beautiful, and with all that experience...”

“He’s mine,” Naruto growled and glared at Gaara with very narrow, angry and hopefully fearsome eyes. Gaara stared back and seemed entirely unaffected.

-

A while later, they went downstairs and made pancakes. Naruto had wanted cup noodles, but Gaara had made pancakes. Naruto had been literally chased away from the stove and ordered to stay out of the cooking zone. Yes, sometimes Gaara was very frustrating. But he was the guest and there was nothing wrong with pancakes really.

Sitting at the table, piece of pancake dripping with whipped cream and strawberry jam halfway to his mouth, Naruto remembered something very important. So important, in fact, that he had to lower the piece of pancake to his plate again as the sly grin wandered to claim his lips.

“Guess what we did on the way here?” he said and Gaara looked at him, chewing his pancake slowly before swallowing it down with a mouthful of milk.

“I’m guessing you made out.”

“How did you know?” Naruto exclaimed, then he pouted. Then he remembered that wasn’t the interesting part and the grin came back. He shrugged. “Oh, well, you’re smart. You know a lot of things you shouldn’t know. But! You don’t know where we did it, do you?”

Gaara chewed some more; slowly, like he wasn’t in a hurry to admit he didn’t know everything. For some strange reason it made Naruto feel stupid. Gaara had some more milk.

“No,” he said, like it didn’t bother him at all. “Where did you do it?”

Naruto’s grin grew wider and he leaned over the table.

“You know that playground we went to last New Year's after the fireworks?”

They had all celebrated New Year's together, Gaara and his siblings, Lee and Gai and Iruka and Naruto. Iruka and Kankuro had made dinner and Gai had put on the biggest, loudest and most colorful show of fireworks the street had ever seen. It had been lots and lots of fun and Naruto wanted to do it again this year; with a couple of guests added, of course.

After Gai’s fireworks Naruto, Lee and Gaara had gone out in the snow to check out the exploding colors, whistling and booming of the other shows of fireworks. They hadn’t been as impressive as Gai’s, but it had still been very nice. They had wandered aimlessly for a while, ended up at the playground and stayed there. There had been lots of snow that New Year’s and cold, clouds puffing from their mouths as they breathed.

‘I wish next year’s New Year’s will be even more fun!’ Naruto had wished for his New Year’s wish, and now he was sure it would be. He had felt a bit jealous seeing Lee and Gaara kiss under the fireworks and wondered when he’d find someone to greet the new year together with. Now he had.

“I remember,” Gaara said.

“Well, that’s where we did it,” Naruto said proudly and leaned back in his chair. Put his arms behind his head. “In the house.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah.”

Gaara smiled a small smile; a small, kind of dirty smile actually; and his mind seemed to wander.

“That’s so funny,” he said. “We’ve done it there too.”

“What!?” Naruto shouted and sat up in the chair. “You have?”

“Yeah, a few months back. We were out walking and couldn’t stop ourselves. Or rather I couldn’t stop myself, it took some convincing before Lee agreed. I think we “did” a bit more than you two though, I had sand in my ass for ages after that.”

“You… You guys did… Eww! I didn’t know that! Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t Lee tell me!?”

“Oh, yeah…” Gaara seemed to think. “There was some sort of bet, wasn’t it? When you were kids? Lee thought you’d forgotten about it and didn’t want to remind you. Because, you’d lost. I thought you should know, but you know how he is sometimes.”

“Aww…” Naruto pouted, because pouting felt better than anger now. “And eww… You guys did that in there? I didn’t want to know that. What did we bet anyway?”

“I’ve no idea,” Gaara said. “He never told me and I never asked.”

Gaara got that ‘mind is wandering’ look on his face again and Naruto made a face.

“Eww….”

-

Some half an hour after the pancakes, right in the middle of a really important boss fight on Zombie Vengeance 2, Iruka called. He sounded tired and there were voices and sounds that Naruto couldn’t really identify in the background.

“Hi, Naruto,” Iruka said. “I’m sorry, but there’s been some trouble at work and I don’t think I’ll be able to come home until late tonight. I’ve called Kakashi-san, he said he’s on his way home and will be there soon. You can stay at his place until I get back. Okay?”

“Okay,” Naruto glanced over his shoulder, to the screen where Gaara skillfully maneuvered the main character around the Zombie Lord on the screen. “But Gaara’s here.”

“Oh. Well, I’m… Hang on a second,” Iruka put something over the phone, probably his hand, and Naruto could barely make out his voice as he spoke to someone. Then he was back. “Sorry. I’m sure it’s fine if Gaara comes too.”

“Alright.”

“Just behave, alright?”

“Yeah,” Naruto’s eyes drifted back to what Gaara was doing. He really was good with a hand control, but that boss wasn’t easy.

“And I want you to start the washing machine and hang up the clothes when it’s done. Tell Gaara to help you.”

“Sure,” Naruto said, but was more interested in the screen than what he had agreed to do.

“Don’t forget that laundry.”

“I’m not gonna forget,” Naruto sighed. “Bye!”

“See you tonight.”

Naruto hung up, went back to the living room and sat down beside Gaara. It looked dangerous but Gaara was good at coming back from bad situations. Naruto grinned when the redhead managed to get in a multi-power combo, the two-handed sword burning red with magical molten lava as it struck the undead lord.

“Gorgeous!”

“I know,” Gaara mumbled, not taking his eyes off the screen.

“I get to play when he’s dead, alright?”

“Fine. What aren’t you going to forget?”

“Oh yeah!” Naruto remembered and grinned, scratched the back of his head. “Start the washing machine, and hang the clothes when it’s done. You have to help me.”

Gaara set up another combo and the Zombie Lord disintegrated with a pained groan and an explosion of blue color. The redhead handed over the controls during the movie sequence.

“No, I don’t,” he said. “I cooked.”

“Only because you wouldn’t let me!”

“It still counts.”

Naruto pouted. He waited until the sequence was done before pressing pause and taking a short trip to the bathroom to start the washing machine. When he came back Gaara was lying on the floor forming a cross, his arms stretched out on either side of his body. His eyes were closed.

“Oh, yeah,” Naruto said. “And Iruka’s working late tonight. We have to stay at Sasuke’s place when they come back.”

Gaara’s eyes opened and he looked at Naruto.

“Iruka won’t be here?”

“That’s what I said,” Naruto sighed and flopped down on the floor again, grabbing the control and returning to the game. Sometimes Gaara acted so stupid.

“Oh... I see.”

“What?” Naruto frowned and looked over his shoulder.

“What will happen with all that home-alone time?” Gaara said musingly.

“I told you, we’re going to Sasuke’s place.”

Gaara sighed.

“No wonder you guys never get anywhere,” he said. “You’re doomed even without the princess-thing.”

Naruto frowned even deeper this time, annoyed, only looked half over his shoulder.

“What are you talking about? What does that have to do with…? Oh. Oh…!”

“Can you pull down his pants by yourself or will I have to do that for you too?”

“W-we... can’t do that!” Naruto sputtered. “I never said I’d do anything like that!”

“Does he turn you on?”

“That’s...!” Naruto’s cheeks were on fire. Were they actually talking about this? What was this anyway? What did Gaara try to talk him into doing?

“And you turn him on.”

“Y-You don’t know that!” Naruto protested, though the memory of feeling the evidence of just that press against his own “evidence” was clear and made the evidence area tingle all over again.

“You say he’s shy,” Gaara said. “And I believe you, he’s the type. But he made out with you in a playground in broad daylight. He wants you. You want him. You’re ready. Just do it. You’ll be defying nature if you don’t.”

It did make a whole lot of sense when Gaara put it like that. A bunch of very interesting images popped into Naruto’s head and he had to shake them out again or things would get seriously embarrassing.

“But we’re supposed to be there!” Naruto hurried to say. “We can’t just leave when Kakashi-san is supposed to look after us.”

“You have to hang up the laundry, don’t you?” Gaara said. “Bring Sasuke instead of me.”

Naruto opened his mouth to say something but he didn’t know what. He was blushing, wasn’t he? At least a little. He was nervous. This really felt entirely too rushed. Yes, the images trying desperately to sneak back into his head were lovely, but having them in his head was one thing and having them in reality when the laundry was ready to be hung was quite another. What would they do? What could they do? Didn’t you need to... know stuff? Naruto didn’t know anything about... whatever it was that Gaara was talking about. Did Sasuke know? How far did his experience go?

“I… I suppose I could,” he said eventually, hesitatingly. “But then you’d be alone! It’d be totally weird!”

“I can go too, of course,” Gaara sighed. “Only I’ll go for a walk. Or go home. Don’t create problems where there aren’t any.”

Naruto pouted.

“There’s no point in creating problems if there already are problems,” he muttered. The game music played in the background; he had forgotten to pause.

“Just stop holding back,” Gaara said.

Then, with perfect timing, the doorbell rang. Naruto flinched in surprise and turned. The hall seemed dark and his heart was racing.

“Go,” Gaara said. “Don’t leave the princess waiting.”

“Stop with the princess thing!” Naruto shouted and snapped out of it, got off the floor with a huff. “You’re going to piss him off.”

Heading for the door, through the dark hall, Naruto thought that it didn’t have to be Sasuke. It could be a… salesman. Selling vacuum cleaners. Or lawnmowers. Why was he so nervous?

It didn’t feel like just three weeks. Only three weeks had passed since Naruto straddled Sasuke’s legs and told him he wanted to make out, but it felt like the thing between them had been going on for months. Their relationship had changed, basically since the first time they met; they had been fighting and they had been friends and now they were boyfriends. But somehow it felt to Naruto like all those definitions of them, all the labels and phases and stages, were just different names for the same thing. They had never really changed from fighting to friends to boyfriends; they had been one special thing from the beginning.

It had been there from the first day. Naruto had felt it and he’d always known; from the second he first saw the dark, angry guy he had known. Yes, Sasuke being an asshole had clouded his knowledge now and then, but deep down he’d never had a doubt. They hadn’t made up or gotten together, they had just stopped pretending to be something that they weren’t.

So it didn’t feel like just three weeks. They had been dating since Iruka opened the door that Saturday three months ago, only they hadn’t figured it out until later. The thought was ridiculous and silly and stupid and if Sasuke heard that he would shake his head and give Naruto that look he gave when he felt Naruto was too far-out with his ideas. Naruto loved that look. Gaara was probably right about the princess thing.

Naruto stopped and for a moment stood with closed eyes in front of the door. When the doorbell rang a second time he opened. It was Sasuke. But Lee was there too, and…

“Sasuke! Wha… What happened to you?” Naruto stared at the cuts and forming bruises on Sasuke’s arms and face. Then he turned to Lee, who didn’t looked much better. “And you! What are you even doing here? Have you guys been in a fight?”

Naruto stepped out and looked this way and that, though he didn’t actually think the culprits would be around here. Especially not with how Lee was grinning. He looked sorry, but he was still grinning. Sasuke just looked surly and embarrassed.

“Let us in, will you?” he huffed and looked away.

“It was just a friendly match,” Lee said. “Don’t worry.”

“Don’t worry!?” Naruto shouted. “You guys look terrible! Get in here. And what are you talking about, ‘friendly match’?”

They had gotten inside and Lee closed the door. Naruto fussed over Sasuke’s nose and Sasuke was glaring and hissing at him.

“Have you been bleeding?”

“Ow, leave it alone.”

“It’s not broken, is it?”

“Just leave it alone! Does it look broken, you idiot?”

“Don’t come here all beaten up and call me an idiot!” Naruto snarled. “Gaara! Get over here and support me, they’re all beaten up!”

“I heard,” Gaara said, suddenly standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame. “Did you win, darling?”

Naruto groaned.

“Yes!” Lee was delighted. “But not by much really. Sasuke-kun is very good. Look at my eye!”

“Yeah, look at that…”

They disappeared into the living room and not seconds later the kissing sound started. Naruto groaned in embarrassment and couldn’t quite manage to look Sasuke in the eyes. The dark haired and battle worn boyfriend wasn’t looking too keen on eye contact himself, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. His hands were stuffed in his pockets now that Naruto had stopped trying to touch his nose.

“They’re perverts,” Naruto muttered. “Don’t mind them.”

“Right,” Sasuke muttered.

A sound, not very much unlike a moan, had them both jerking in surprise, looking at each other and blushing more.

“Let’s… um, go to the kitchen,” Naruto suggested and laughed weakly, nervously. Sasuke grunted in agreement and walked; Naruto followed.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Naruto asked when they sat by the table. “Really?”

“I’m fine,” Sasuke said and his voice was softer than usual. “Really.”

“Doesn’t it hurt?”

“It’s a good hurt.” Sasuke said and shrugged. “I’ll live.”

Naruto raised his hand and touched Sasuke’s unbruised cheek with the back of his fingers.

“You are so special to me, have I told you that?”

Sasuke’s eyes widened slightly, slightly for a moment and his cheeks colored even more. Then he huffed and looked away and the hand ended up hanging alone in the air. But he turned back and fingers touched skin once again. Sasuke looked back at Naruto and there was warmth in his eyes. Naruto smiled.

“Now I have,” he said.

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