Oh Baby!

(K.A.F. enters happily skipping away and looks around her room)

K.A.F.: (sadly sighs) Where’s Naru-chan and Sasu-chan?

(sits on the bed and grabs a kakashi plushie)

K.A.F.: (talks to the plushie) Kakashi? Where are they?

(Kakashi stealthy opens the window and enters)

K.A.F.: (continues talking to the plushie) Kakashi, did you send Naru-chan and Sasu-chan on a mission?

KAKASHI: (bored) Actually, yes I did.

K.A.F.: O.O (looks shocked at plushie) D-d-did y-you j-just t-ta-talk?

KAKASHI: (sweatdrop) No. I did.

K.A.F.: (looks at real Kakashi and her face drops) Oh. (throws plushie away)

KAKASHI: (pulls out Icha Icha Paradise and starts reading)

K.A.F.: (vein throbs on forehead) Where?

KAKASHI: (confused but not looking away from his book) Huh?

K.A.F.: (eye twitches) Where did you send them?

KAKASHI: Oh, to the Earth Country…

K.A.F.: O.O!!! WHAT!!!!

KAKASHI: Yea… (giggle)

K.A.F.: (growls furiously) KAKASHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW WHAT DO I DO WITHOUT MY PROTAGONISTS!!!!!!!!!!!!

KAKASHI: Ah… Don’t know… Don’t care (blush & drool)

K.A.F.: (fumes then face lights up) Oh, Kakashi… (sweet scary smile)

KAKASHI: (oblivious) Yea?

K.A.F.: (smile still in place) You know? I was thinking about adding a KakaIru pairing for my fic… what do you think?

KAKASHI: (looks up and eye widens in delight) Really? With Iruka-chan? (thinks happily of the many possibilities)

K.A.F.: Yea…But- (looks sadly) I dunno anymore… Maybe if Sasu-chan and Naru-chan were here I do it but they’re not…

KAKASHI: (panics) NOOO!!... I know! I’ll bring them! Anything else you need to be able to think for my pairing with my dolphin?

K.A.F.: Yea… (puppy eyes) could you say the disclaimer and go buy me a pizza before going to fetch em?

KAKASHI: Sure! Koolanimefreek doesn’t own any of us! …Pepperoni right? (nod) Right away!! (poof)

K.A.F.: (laughs) YAY! On with the fic!


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“OH BABY!”
By: KoolAnimeFreek
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Last Time:
Sakura was the first to recuperate and with a voice disturbingly loud asked disbelieving, “Naruto…PREGNANT?”

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Chapter 3: “Trip to the Baby Store”

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“…”

“…”

Snicker.

Chuckle.

Hysterical laughter.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other, veins throbbing dangerously on their foreheads.

“I’M NOT KIDDING!” Naruto snapped straining against the rope that held him.

Everyone quiet down instantly and shocked glances were exchanged.

Still trying to figure out what was going on, the group of kidnappers started talking to each other.

“Is that even possible? Not that I wanted to be here in the first place.” Mumble.

“Just like Naruto to be troublesome.” Yawn.

“Does it mean he’ll eat more from now on…?” Munch.

“OH! Wait till Gai-sensei hears about this! YATTA! (1)” Pose.

“N-Naruto-k-kun’s pregnant?” Blush.

“Hina-chan, I can help you if you want a baby.” Smug grin.

“Woof.”

“Uchiha bastard, corrupting poor Naruto.” Glare.

“My bugs suspected something like this would happen…” Silence.

“SUGOI!! (2)”

“SHOPPING!”

Meanwhile, the captives were close to bursting in anger. The last two cries were the last straw and Sasuke growled loudly, very loudly.

“WOULD YOU STOP IT AND UNTIE US!!!!”

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Two hours later, the group was finally quiet after being explained about the situation. Shikamaru and Shino didn’t care either way. Lee was hugely grinning. Chouji was still munching and had made a rather sly comment to Naruto about future restaurant raids. Neji was openly glaring Sasuke to death. Kiba was still cooing at Hinata. And the four girls were excitedly chatting with each other about going shopping for the baby. Naruto had paled visibly but accepted quickly when the girls looked at him with an evil glint in their eyes. Sasuke was happily smirking at Neji which earned him a more heated glare that didn’t faze him in the least.

“So Naruto, don’t forget! Tomorrow at 9! We’ll come pick you up!” Ino reminded.

Naruto shuddered and gave a hesitant, “H-hai.”

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Naruto’s POV (3)

Why is it that women find torture amusing? Ever since I decided to open my big mouth and blurt that I was pregnant has been HELL, I tell ya, HELL!! Not only did my friends laugh at me but the girls decided to throw a baby…mmm…baby something… ahh! Baby bath...No! it was… ohh! it was baby SHOWER… yea… that… whatever it is. Anyway, they came to pick me up the next day like they had threatened… early… VERY early. Don’t they know that pregnant males need their sleep? … Umm… Actually, don’t they know that I NEED MY SLEEP? But NOOO! Why not wake up Naruto early to take him SHOPPING!! ARGGGH!

So, they dragged me from the warmth of my bed and Sasuke to the jungle that is Konoha’s Mall. I hope I survive this carnage.

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After dragging the blonde to Konoha’s Mall. The four ladies took it upon themselves to show the reluctant fox-man what he needed for his unborn child.

First stop.

Restroom.

Apparently, Naruto was still suffering from morning sickness.

“Is this stage of pregnancy ever over?” the blonde had complained to his female friends.

To which Sakura, the medic-nin of the group, had merrily replied, “Actually, there are some pregnant people-” She emphasized on people for some reason. “-that spend the whole nine months with morning sickness.”

Naruto had paled at the information and had quickly decided never to ask Sakura questions about pregnancy ever again.

When Naruto stopped pouring the contents of his stomach in the porcelain toilet, he followed the women along the many stores, holding his still queasy abdomen.

Twenty minutes of stupid, pointless window shopping was interrupted by a loud growl.

Turning to the source, four pairs of eyes looked curiously at the sheepish blonde.

“Mmm… I’m hungry,” Naruto laughed and nervously scratched the back of his head.

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Nourishment taken care of, Sakura, Ino, TenTen and Hinata decided to finally go to the Baby Store at the other side of the mall.

‘Finally!’ Naruto thought. ‘I’m bored out of my mind here and I wanna go home to Sasuke!’

Reaching the place, the Kyubi-holder looked up and read aloud.

“The Little Ninja Place” (a/n- pretty lame, couldn’t think of anything else)

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Upon entering, Naruto knew that he had stepped into another form of Hell.

Loud “aww’s” and cooing sounds were heard from his companions and he was practically swarmed by blood thirsty sales people.

“Hello sir, and welcome to The Little Ninja Place.”

“May I help you sir?”

“How kawaii (4)!! Are you looking for something for your wife?”

“What is it? A boy or girl?”

“We have a variety of merchandize brought directly from the Wind Country. Would you like to take a look?”

Overwhelmed, Naruto didn’t know what to do.

“E-eto…”

‘Think fast! They are as scary as Sasuke fangirls! ...Man, I never was a good thinker!’ Naruto regretfully thought.

“NARUTO!!!! Come look!” Sakura called.

‘SAVED!’

“Ano… excuse me,” Naruto murmured pushing his way towards the pink haired nin.

“Isn’t this cute?!” she cried holding an outfit in her hands.

The kitsune looked horrified at the white and blue sailor suit. ‘Who dresses their baby in THAT?’

Schooling his features, he smiled uneasily, “Yea, sure Sakura.”

Leaving her to gush over other awful outfits, Naruto started walking around the store. Suddenly a brown thing caught his eye.

Heading its way, he noticed a reddish brown stuffed fox with blue eyes. He fingered the fur lightly and picked it up. Holding it against his chest, Naruto continued looking around.

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‘WAII!!! Look at that cutie! Blonde, tall and muscular! Definitely husband material… what guy in his right mind would be walking into a baby store by himself! ...Must approach carefully.’

Smoothing the creases on her suit, a dirty blonde, brown-eyed woman, headed toward her blonde prey.

Tapping his shoulder, she cleared her throat and with a breathy cheery voice spoke.

“Hello sir, my name is Kichi (5). Is there any way I can help you?”

The blonde man looked at her toward her blonde prey.

Tapping his shoulder, she cleared her throat and with a breathy cheery voice spoke.

“Hello sir, my name is Kichi (5). Is there any way I can help you?”

The blonde man looked at her bewildered, “E-eto… I… don’t know…”

Kichi smiled sweetly but in the inside she was whooping in joy, ‘HELL YEAH! He’s ALL mine!’ (a/n- I know! It’s pretty much like Sakura’s inner personality.)

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Naruto looked at the sales lady warily. ‘What am I supposed to do? The girls are nowhere to be seen! …oh well, might as well ask for a little help.’

“Ano, Kichi-san? I think I’m gonna need help…” Naruto said giving her a shy smile.

“Of COURSE! That’s my job! …Ah, may I ask your name?”

“Oh, gomen (6), my name is Naruto.”

“Naruto? That’s a pretty name…” Kichi flashed a flirty smile which went totally unnoticed by the oblivious blonde.

“Ahhh… yea… sure. So, what exactly do mothers need?”

“Oh! Yes, well…”

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Two hours later and five carts full of diapers, clothes, food, toys, bath things, bed linens and even shoes, Naruto followed Kichi to the register. He had been subject to subtle and not-so-subtle flirting but being the oblivious baka that he is, he never noticed.

“So… Naruto-san… If I’m not intruding… Why are you buying all this and for who?” Kichi asked. ‘Arggh! I’ve spend two hours with him and nothing! Is he gay?’

“Oh, that’s easy!” Naruto grinned cheekily. “It’s for me and my baby.”

“You’re married?” Kichi asked totally defeated.

Naruto confused by the question, answered truthfully, “No. But I’m pregnant!”

‘Yea, gay!’ Kichi thought before fainting.

TBC-

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NARUTO: (bewildered) Why am I the one that has to go to the store???

SASUKE: (glares) Who’s that bitch that checking out my Naru-chan???

K.A.F.: SASU-CHAN!!! NARU-CHAN!!! YOU’RE BACK!!! (glomps them)

KAKASHI: Of course they’re back! Now! About me and Iruka-chan…

NARUTO: (frowns) EHHH!!! WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IRUKA-SENSEI PERVERT!!!

SASUKE: (glares) URUSAI, usuratonkachi!

NARUTO: (pouts)

K.A.F.: (sweatdrop) Ano… Kakashi… I still have to talk to Iruka-kun about it…

KAKASHI: O.O NANI!!!!!!!!!!!!

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(1) ‘All right’ in Japanese.

(2) ‘Amazing’ in Japanese.

(3) I’m gonna start like this from now on if I write about personal thoughts of a character.

(4) ‘Cute’ in Japanese.

(5) Means ‘fortunate.’ (Hehe, totally ironic!)

(6) ‘Sorry’ in Japanese.

A/N- Well, I didn’t like how this chappy turned out but I’ll try to make it up to you guys by the next ‘kay!
Oh and everyone who’s reading… remember to REVIEW!
Ja-