And I cry...

Part 3 ‘Of Being What I Am’


3 years later…


“Naruto…!!!!! Oh come on! Quit it! It’s no longer funny you know! Come on Naruto!!!” the weird haired old man stood upside down with his hand tight to his back and his legs were perfectly tied up to a tall branch which ensure him that when he fell he would definitely got at least a broken back – more than enough for his old age.

“You’re slowing down ero – sennin… come on tell me that you give up and I’ll release you in a blink of an eye…” a young boy – almost a man – bent over his back to a tree a few meters behind the old man. He didn’t have to glance over him to know what exactly that the man did – even on slightest breathing. He grew to be a very calm boy – well not so calm sometime, but he was not the loud shinobi he used to be. He’s not a different Naruto, he was still stupid, he still smiled a lot too, doing ridiculous actions and sometime he tried to joke with Jiraiya (which didn’t work well because they have a slender pole apart in the subject, whom for Jiraiya was hot sexy ladies). But, he was just calmer, not quieter.

“SHIT Naruto!!! Do you have fun playing with an old guy like me? Come on untie me!!!” the old man said in irritation. ‘You stupid brat! It’s not me who is slowing down! It is you who get faster!’

“Ow… come on ero – sennin!!! I never had that word from you!!! Come on! Come on! Said it and it’s all done and we can hunt our supper! Come on ero – sennin!!!”

‘mattaku!!! He was still a child after all!’

“Okay… I GIVE UP!!!!” the old man screamed in agony. “Do you hear that? Now – wow…!” Jiraiya’s word was cut by the sudden impact of his release, but for being one of the Sannin, he could manage to grab the branch nearby and stood proudly. Naruto popped beside him.

“Hehehe… you lost!”

“Bah… Don’t get so excited! This GREAT JIRAIYA SAMA is giving you one winning reluctantly. And I wasn’t serious earlier too. So, let’s just consider this as your lucky time… hahahaha!!!” Jiraya put his hands on his hips and started to laugh unusually weird.

“Ero sukebe never changes! Mattaku!”

“Come on Naruto! Let’s find some fine ladies to get laid tonight!”

“HEH!!!!???!!! You SICK FUCKING BASTARD! I’m not old enough for that!”

“HAHAHA… then you just wait here – no, don’t wait for me… hehehehe!!!”

“I’m taking a shower in the waterfall and take some sleep after. You better come back with a ramen you old leech!!!” and with a ‘poof’ sound both of them disappeared.

* * *


“The day will soon come! Are you ready for that?”

“Hmm… I’ve been waiting that for so long. What makes you think that I am not ready? Are you not satisfied with me? Do you dare to underestimate me?”

“Of course not… You are my creation! I just don’t want you to disappoint me. You know the consequences right?”

“Are you threatening me? That won’t work! You know exactly how powerful I am. And I could possibly beat your ass up! So, don’t you dare to underestimate me or threatening me!?!!”

“As I expected from an avenger! I do know exactly how powerful you are, but remember this, you are still way under me. Don’t give me the speech about kicking my ass for you know you can’t. Thanks to me you have master the seal and you are much much more powerful than the way you used to be. You will pay that later. I’m giving you my kindness to finish your problem with your brother and of course your most important person. After that you are officially belong to me.”

“Important? Are you trying to scorn at me? I’ll show you how important he is when I give his heart to you.”

‘Yes Sasuke Kun… kill him – kill Naruto. That way you surrender to me willingly. And I will get that body of yours.’

* * *


The boy put his black orange vest and black pants off and come into the waterfall. The sound of the waterfall eased his mind as he bent his back on a cold rock. The water washed his body. He looked over on his body and realized the alteration on it. He became so strong now. He could see his muscles and the shape on his body. He then walked toward the water fall without a single string on his slender shape. He wanted the stream to not just wash his body but also the thoughts on his mind that were starting to chase his sanity. This was his ritual everyday, standing below the waterfall quietly.

On his precious quiet time he sensed a chakra nearby. “Who’s there?” he threw a kunai to the spot of the chakra.

He waited alertly, trying to sense every movement, even the wind. He held a kunai in his hands, ready to be thrown to the chakra owner.

Few seconds later, a rabbit come out from the bush where the chakra was earlier. Naruto then put his guard down and flew back to his quiet time.


There, behind the bush, a man stood. He evaporated his chakra movement as soon as the boy noticed his present. But he had seen enough. He uttered in disbelieve on how much the boy grew up to be. He saw it, the slender yet perfectly shaped body. The skin – it was a mixture of gold and pale colors. And with the help of the water and the sunset light, his body shone in a very beautiful way that the man had never seen before. His once child like and immature trait had changed to be very tempting, an unusually sensual one.

Itachi felt it; the lust inside him was starting to burn. ‘omoshiroi’ Then he left with the wind.

* * *

Naruto held his chest in his hands. Somehow he still could feel the savage pain 3 years ago. He could still feel Sasuke’s hand on it. And when he closed his eyes, he could still see Sasuke’s eyes. Those eyes stabbed him directly.

Sometimes – just sometimes – he thought about those days behind. Sasuke wasn’t a very great person and surely not a great friend. But it was because of Sasuke Naruto could be what he was. All the mocking from Sasuke was surprisingly built up his heart. He always felt the need to be stronger than Sasuke, to beat his ass up and to destroy his arrogance. Of course it was not only from Sasuke and for Sasuke; he also felt the need to be acknowledged by Konohagakure, by its people that had been putting him aside. But most of all, he really wanted to protect his village, the place where he was given birth by a woman he did not know. The place where – probably – his mother and father met. The place where he would gladly die. It was kind of sad – maybe other people would think that what he could do for Konoha was just a way to make people appreciate him.

But it was not like that, not at all, he was true and heartfelt. It was fine if they could not accept him. He realized just how much he had been guilty; he knew just how much the Kyuubi traumatized them. Many people died on that battle field. It could be their son or father or daughter or even mother. While Naruto didn’t lose anybody, he had nothing to lose anyway. So, he actually could understand.

It was still painful though to see hatred in the people’s eyes, hatred for his existence. He would not want to be a hypocrite or pretending that everything was alright that way. He missed people, mostly when he was a child. There was unbearable pain when he saw children playing with their family – while he didn’t even had a friend to play with. He didn’t understand anything back then, all he could understand was just the pain in his heart. All he knew was just he didn’t have a parent, but nobody told him why people hate him.

Nobody told him why people could go mad at him all of sudden, why people putting him aside, why they threw things at him when he walked by, and why he was born alone. Loneliness was the one who kept him company. It was very hard to live his life every day as a child when he needed his parent the most. He would come home to his empty house alone. And it was so quiet. There was no voice voicing ‘Okaeri’ for him. No mother to prepare him dinner. No father to play with. His bed was so cold and it was smell too. Because he always wet his bed at night and he had no time to clean it in the morning for he woke up late, no mother to wake him up and clean his bed for him.

Sometime – too smooth his heart, he tried to talk with the moon. That would make him sleepy and he could fell asleep easily.

He still remembered clearly the first time he cried. It was because of a dream. He was 6 or 7 at that time. And he fell asleep after talking to the moon. Then he saw a dream, a dream that he desired the most. In his dream, he was woken up by a soft and gentle voice of a mother. She told Naruto to get up and get to the bath. And in the kitchen, he saw a father reading newspaper saying ‘ohayou’ to him. After that they ate together and had the best morning conversation ever. It was great – though he could not see their face – but he could actually feel the warmth of a family. But then he woke up. And he suddenly cried. He cried all night long like a baby. He wanted a family so bad that it disturbed him in his sleep. After that, he never cried again. He had spent all his tears that night at least that was what he thought.

When he grew up, and knew what inside him that made all his childhood a misery, he began to understand. He comprehended their hatred. He even valued it. And, he didn’t hate them back. He altered his childhood loneliness to become his strength to protect Konoha.

One day, he would die for his Konoha. It was perfect for him, a perfect way to die. It was a way to redeem his sins to its people, and then maybe – just maybe they could forgive him. But of course it could only happen if Sasuke came back, because if he’s not, Naruto would die in the attempt to bring him back. His life was that simple. But nobody seemed to understand… they don’t understand the tears that fell down his cheeks now…

* * *