Pimping Out Lil' Sasuke

This chapter is about Hinata x Sasuke because it was requested. However, it turned out to be rather fluffy. Hinata and smut just don’t go together. Next chapter shall be smuttier.


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Itachi was seated in his uber-cool black-leather chair absentmindedly puffing on a small cigar, sipping his pina colada and generally just enjoying life and himself. His right hand rested on the black and shiny big-boss-table (authentic teakwood!) while his other hand was disappearing in the mysterious darkness beneath it. A watchful observer would have been able to detect its small and tender movements as well as a pair stocking-clad tiptoe wiggling under the table. The room itself was put in darkness.


Itachi moaned slightly and his cigar impended to fall out of his mouth. He caught it quickly and put it out, then moaned again and louder this time. Under the table a quiet giggle could be heard accompanied by further shuffling and tilling. Then someone made a very rude smacking sound not unlike a small child slurping the last remains of his milkshake through the drinking straw.

“Behave, foolish little brother”, said Big Brother Itachi warningly.

“Pshaw!”, replied his foolish little brother. “Make me, old man!”.

Then the phone rang. Itachi took the receiver and pressed the accept-button.

“Weasel Enterprises, Uchiha Itachi speaking. How may I be of service?”

“Uchiha-san, here is Hyuuga Neji speaking. I would like to book your employee for tonight if it’s possible.”

‘Hyuuga – who’d have thought that? He always seemed so stoic. Although you never know with this Byakugan of his.’ – mused Itachi silently.

Sasuke slapped him deftly. “Hiya, Big Brother Itachi. Don’t you dare to sell me out to this bleak-eyed freak. He’s always sizing me up when he has the chance.”

Itachi mustered his brother: Sasuke’s features were put in a huffishly-sweet expression, his eyes glittered like an angry snake’s and his hair stuck in all directions. He thought about how flustered Sasuke would become until the end of this night and how well that would suit his evil purpose. Therefore, he just patted Sasuke’s head patronizingly and said:

“Accepted, Hyuuga-san. You may expect him today at 8 p.m. at your doorstep. Be gentle.”

“Oh no, it’s not for me, Uchiha-san but rather for Hinata-sama. Thanks to Naruto’s beatings I was finally able to accept who I am and realized that it’s me alone who decides my fate. Consequently, I decided to apologize to Hinata-sama for my bad behaviour towards her in the past years. Sasuke-kun shall be my gift for her.”

“How (sickeningly) sweet of you, m’dear”, said Itachi the pimp, “well, if it’s for a good cause I will even gift-wrap my otouto for you.”

And he did.

At eight o’clock a disgruntled Sasuke rang the doorbell at the Hyuuga mansion. He was received by Hyuuga Neji, who complimented him on the nice colour of his gift ribbons (he didn’t wear anything else), Hyuuga Hinata who promptly started to squint (which proved futile because she HAD Byakugan) and Hyuuga Hiashi who was present to witness the fateful reunion of the main and the branch house (but instead nearly suffered a heartstroke).

Sasuke gracefully stepped over his prone body and continued to climb the stairs. Neji led him to Hinata’s room. Meanwhile, Hinata was trying to revive her father. Eventually, she resorted to mouth-to-mouth respiration (eww!) and was rewarded by Hiashi finally opening his eyes again.

“Are you all right, father”, she asked tentatively.

He just nodded and sent her on her way. Then he slowly got up and went into the bathroom. Only after he had locked the door, he allowed himself to start smiling blissfully. Thinking about the terrific and glorious moment when he realized that Sasuke-kun didn’t wear any underwear.


Meanwhile the three teenagers assembled in Hinata’s room. Neji apologized formally to Hinata for trying to kill her during the Chuunin exams, and for always pulling on her hair and putting bubblegum in it when they were little. Hinata accepted his excuse with a little smile and then Neji gave her gift.

“Oh Neji-kun, you shouldn’t have!” said Hinata. She was already overwhelmed with his apology and besides, she liked Naruto-kun. Although Sasuke-kun could be really nice too. When he didn’t scare her. But mostly he just glared at her just like he did now.

“Hinata-sama, it is a sign of my sincere remorse. Please accept it. I will be dishonoured otherwise!” – And now Neji was on his knees.

“Neji-kun, p-please. I a-a-accept you’re a-a-apology but I …I …I…” – And now Hinata was stammering. Her gaze avoided Neji’s and stopped on a small picture of Naruto.

“Hinata-sama, I am unworthy!” – cried Neji banging his head against the floor.

“Ne-ne-Nejiji-kun!”- stammered Hinata wringing her hands.

‘Typical Hyuuga cretinism’, thought Sasuke who was bound to witness the whole spectacle. ‘Probably because they are all inbred.’ (Here he conveniently forgot that the Uchihas were even more so.)

He was miffled by Hinata’s response. Sure, he wasn’t thrilled when Itachi told him that he should be Hinata’s boy-toy for the night, but to see that SHE wasn’t thrilled about it too. How dare she resist his charm? He’d noticed the way her gaze swayed to Naruto’s smiling face in the picture. To be bested by Naruto in THIS? No, never! His idiot team-partner wouldn’t not win this competition. He, Uchiha Sasuke was going to be victorious!

Determined he stepped forward and grasped Hinata’s waist.

Unfortunately, he didn’t know how to proceed. All his life he was courted by ladies and never had to even lift a finger to attract them. Besides, women were intimidating (thinking about Temari and her horse whip was bad enough, but there was also this girl at his school who was just plain scary). Hinata wasn’t intimidating, but her blush and nervousness were contagious. Now he blushed too…

Quickly, before he could loose his resolve, he pulled her near and descended his lips on her half-open mouth. It tasted soft and sweet.

Out of fear and embarrassment Hinata simply went limp in his arms. This told him that he would have to employ another strategy. Being a genius he decided on a new promising strategy in a mere three seconds.

He closed his eyes and when he reopened them Hinata was met with the most beautiful , soulful and heart-melting gaze she’d ever seen. It was soft and sweet as newborn puppies in the golden summer sun; soulful, needy and sentimental as a middle-aged Italian actor begging the producer to give him the role of a young lover; open and refreshing as a glass of cool water on a spring day. It lured, it beckoned, it enticed. Her heart wavered not being able to withstand the siren’s call. She pressed forward again.

But Sasuke already had his eyes closed and hid his face from hers. His shoulders trembled.

“Hinata, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pressured you to do this. I’m sorry.”

A lonely tear crept from the shadows of his long eyelashes and made its way down a smooth pale cheek. He looked so forlorn and miserable, despite being dressed in merry yellow ribbons that her heart went out for him. Suddenly, she felt strong and confident.

Hinata stepped forwards and put her hand on the boy’s shoulder. Then she bend down and carefully placed a kiss on his cheek.

“You have done nothing wrong, Sasuke-kun. I like you. Please don’t be sad.”

“Thank you, Hinata.” – now he smiled. He really started to like this girl. And he kinda had a nice warm feeling in his stomach when he looked at her. In a boost of excitement Sasuke embraced her. Unfortunately, feeling a strong male body against hers was too much for the poor girl: Hinata squeaked and fainted.

Together with Neji he put her to bed and then left the room. The rest of the evening was spent peacefully with Sasuke, Hanabi and Neji playing with dolls.

Itachi didn’t comment on his new Stella-the-Kunoichi outfit when he came home later this night.