Fox eat Dog

Thanks for the reviews, they helped. I only wish I got more, I was struggling a lot of times and needed a pick me up. My beta isn't on yet so this will be proof read later. Beta courtesy of kiss_me_deadly.

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In the dim light of Ichiraku ramen stand Kakashi sat with his chin in his hand, staring off into space, wondering how he came to be sitting next to Naruto, who was carnivorously slurping up noodles and a pile of bowls. Sure, he could recall the entire chain of events in his head, but with the circumstances he was faced with, he was on the losing end from the start. From the moment he lifted up the hamper lid, he had lost. His enemy ambushed him, exploited his weak spots, overwhelmed him and before he realized it he’d surrendered to Naruto's demands and miserably sat in this stool. If he were in a real battle, this last one would be considered a massacre. Worst of all, the little punk did it without even trying. The blond had no idea what exactly he was doing and that it hit the jounin where it hurt.

“Hmmm Kakashi-sensei aren't you going to eat?” The masked ninja turned his head just enough to see Naruto's face as licked his lips, another finished bowl of ramen the dish added to the top of the pile. It seemed his hunger was stated enough to initiate a conversation, one the older man wasn't all that eager to have.

Kakashi wanted to respond hastily, 'You have your food. This isn't a date. It's not like I want to fucking be here' but withheld lest he give the impression that he was a sore loser. He muscled up his best lazy smile and answered. “Since your eating so much I'm afraid I'm going to be bankrupt by the end of the night.” It achieved his desired effect. Naruto looked solemn and guilty, the sight restoring a small amount of the jounin's pride. The young man didn't seem as enthusiastic to continue depleting Kakashi’s funds (which were actually far from taking a hit even if the blond ate all the noodles in stock. Living in his low-rent apartment despite good pay and his substantial inheritance left him well off, but Naruto didn't need to know that.)

A small noise brought his attention to the front of him as he saw a steaming bowl of miso noodles place before him. The stand's owner was smiling warmly. “Go on, eat. It’s on the house.” The wrinkled smile increased and he waved both hands towards the silver hair jounin as to encourage Kakashi to eat. Naruto looked surprised as he did for a minute before breaking out in a huge grin.

“Hey old man what about me too! I've been a loyal costumer for years. Where’s my free bowl?” The blue-eyed boy pointed towards himself exaggeratedly and the stand owner looked at him with scorn-laced amusement.

“I just gave you a free bowl before you left, you mooch. I can't always give you hand outs or I'll lose my business.” He crossed his arms and gave the boy a stern look which Naruto waved off.

“What are you talking about old man, I am your business! Without me this dump would go under!” Naruto stretched out his arms, intent on claiming he practically owned the place before a ladle came down on his head.

“Keep talking like that and I'll ban you for a week.” After his declaration the young man wilted and begged rather dramatically. Naruto always had to do everything over the top. He would have fit in as one of Gai's students.

“Go on Kakashi-san, ramen is best when eaten while it's still hot.” The aging man continued ignoring the blond practically groveling at his side. The look in the older man's eyes led Kakashi to believe he was looking for something. He hardly knew the stand's owner aside from a few visits when his student convinced him to come so this stroke of generosity made no sense. What was that gleam in the older man's eye? It unsettled him and the ninja in him made him wary to eat the noodles.

“Kakashi-sensei, a poison dart isn't going to shoot out of your bowl. Buuut... if you don't want it, I'll take the risk.” The elder ninja didn't realize his expression was showing, or that Naruto might have been observing him closely. The blonde's tone mocked him, drawling out his words. He even went as far as to snatch Kakashi's bowl, swirling his chopsticks in the noodles, readying himself to take a big bite. Without hesitation he snatched Naruto's chopsticks and the bowl, spilling nothing as he placed it back in their proper place and glared at his company childishly. Those were his noodles; he wasn't giving anything else to the little punk.

For some reason that seemed to please Naruto and he just smiled as though something pleasant just happened between them. It got on Kakashi's nerves and he wanted to crawl away from this place. To hole up in his apartment until another mission came. There was a unspoken war going on between them, the battles so uncertain that it was unclear as to why the other person won the fight, but they did and Kakashi Hatake was on the losing end again.

The seventeen year old called for more ramen, and after a bit of make-up sweet talk to the cook he got it, delightedly smiling. It was almost enough to make the older man to smile too. That is, if he hadn’t been forced here due to cunningly sneaky tactics and ended up stuck paying the bill. Naruto asked for more chopsticks and set to work on his new bowl when Kakashi realized he had been just cradling his and turned to stare at his untouched noodles.

A splash and feminine screech later, Kakashi jumped up and back, pulling out a kunai as a few other nearby trained ninja did. Hatake cursed his luck he was ever forced on this outing. His former student screamed over a plush toy that had fallen into his noodles, a penguin one at that. The hound-summoner sat back down and put his knife away without word, releasing a sorrowful huff. He ignored the world around him as Naruto picked the toy out of his soup and stood up. The nearby ninja looking none to happy about the disturbance. The vicious gleam in his blue eyes looked as though he thirsted for blood and began ripping out the stuffing, though there was no blood splatter if you had a good imagination the white cotton could be seen as such.

“Stupid penguin... trying to steal... my ramen!” Beneath his breath Kakashi heard the more offensive words. He pulled down his mask slightly, readying to eat when he remembered something about rainbows. Thinking about it, rainbow sounded like ramen almost, if you mumbled it. The cook didn't know why the unmasked jounin was laughing softly, but he was graced with the appearance of the other man's face as he ate so the laugh in turn seemed inconsequential.

Throwing the plushie to the ground, the red and black clad boy stomped on it as a man slightly taller than he came up with a little girl holding his hand and crying at his side. Naruto stared curiously as he was glared at by what looked to be a farmer of the village; the calluses on his hands weren't of holding a kunai or sword but a garden hoe. His build was muscular although fat collected at his belly. He would have been mistaken for a ninja if it wasn't for those telltale signs.

“You just ruined my daughter's favorite stuffed animal.” The words were sharp and full of vehemence. Naruto went still, looking at the little girl crying with guilt and remorse. She looked at Naruto with glossy eyes reminding him of a fragile doll, the dirt on her face from a hard day of playing did more to add to the sweet innocence than tarnish it. It hit him hard thinking he just made the child cry. He lifted his foot off the toy and picked it up, looking at it with a hurtful glint in his eye. Kakashi ate his noodles slowly, though made no move to get up or even turned to see what was happening. He just discreetly listened in.

“I'm... I'm so sorry I didn't know.” He wasn't looking at the man, his eyes were fixated on the child as she huddled close to her father's pant leg as for comfort. Her tears were tainting the fabric a darker color. Around him voices were speaking, whispers though they were not quiet. Accusing voices heartless man they said, poor child they insisted, devious monster his mind added. It was time rolled backwards and he was a child again. Same accusatory voices speaking of his worthless existence, the feeling was overwhelming as though the air became thick and he couldn't but fight to breath. Fight the belief that he shouldn't be alive.

Biting his lip he closed his eyes willing block the voices murmuring like a jury defining his life as a crime. Slowly he bent down body quivering and reached out to give the battered toy back to the girl. “If you like I could fix it and put the stuffing back in.” he said voice low and coaxing giving her a hopeful smile. For an instant the noises she made settled as she looked at him with curious eyes before his hand was slapped the toy flying to the ground, again, his fragile hope fell with it. A few inches away a loud voiced roared above his head harsh and much louder than all others. The crowd stilled watching with rapt fascination.

“Don't touch my child. How could you do such a thing?! It was reckless and irresponsible! I ought to brand your hide with my running iron...”

From a few feet away, oblivious to Naruto's inner struggle, blocking out the droning of an enraged old man Kakashi was slurping down noodles slightly eased with his former student getting in trouble. He always did act before thinking, to say the boy was selfish in his ways was true as it was not. Naruto's problem was he was always going out of his way to help others but in turn he was just benefiting himself, getting the attention and praise he wanted. The jounin never did fall into his trickery, but it didn't stop the blond from resorting to blackmail. The reminder left a bad taste in the older man's mouth as he swallowed down his food.

Looking into his bowl he was halfway finished when he realized he was using the chopsticks that were in Naruto's mouth. He was eating slower than ever before almost as though he were savoring the food. Kakashi didn't even know he was doing it, it was just the natural thing to do at the time. He made an indistinguishable face before continuing to eat, though faster than before.

“Damn monster! You should have been put down when you were born...”Words so cold, so close from hitting old wounds, Naruto eyes looked numb from it. He didn't move from where he kneeled on the ground just silently took the verbal beating as though his body was there yet his mind was somewhere else. Another place, another time.

A shadow fell over his prostrated form partially covering his figure in darkness. A smooth indolent voice, devoid of care yet a familiar comfort, chimed in waking his conscious from its hazy dream.

“My my, what mean thing Naruto did to this pretty little girl. That stupid boy and his tricks.” A gloved hand was grasping blond locks and pulling at them, the pain bringing forth a struggle as Naruto battled Kakashi's hand away from him. The jounin chuckled before turning back to the farmer who looked as surprised as he was angered. Kakashi titled his head up to look the man in the eyes. He was over half a foot taller and his body mass was about tripled the ninja's. The hard look in the jounin's eye turned to a smile.

“My sincerest apologies.” The words were hollow as his smile. “I, Hatake Kakashi, be sure to punish him properly later.” For reasons of his own. “Hope this will cover your trouble.” Kakashi reached out to lift the man's hand fatty fingers dwarfing his own slender digits as he shook the other's hand money in his palm. The alarmed look in the farmer's eyes turned to a wince and he fought to hide the reaction as the ninja held his hand for longer than necessary. The quiet warning going missed by the crowd itself. Slowly he released his hand a smile not matching the look in his eye.

Slowly he then the silver hair man crouched directly a much warmer smile to the little girl who bashfully stay by her father leg. “How about you princess, can you forgive the silly boy?” While the large man held his breath, the child smiled shyly and nodded her head. She blushed when Kakashi stroked her hair for a moment, the other man tensing up was not lost on him as he himself internally laughed. “How sweet of you, and so cute too I imagine all the young boys adore you.” As the girl giggled charmed by the compliments he could feel the unnamed man ready to flee any given moment. Like I'd hurt a child.

Standing back up gracefully the girl placed her hand on her head where she was touched, delighted by the attention. The masked man directed his gaze once again to the burly man half turning away in the same motion. “Is everything fine now?” He inquired, though it wasn't a question. The hasty nod he received in return made him smile almost as innocent as it appeared. Completely turning his back to set his attention to one young man, meek blue eyes looked up at him still not yet recovered but gaining back some of there usual color.

“You going to play in the dirt all night?” Kakashi hoped his voice didn't carry too much emotion.

There was a blinking of eyes and a few moments later Naruto stood up dusting himself off as he avidly paid no heed to the crowd of people dissipating around them, the man and his little girl long gone once the jounin dismissed their presence. When the blond was at full height staring down at Kakashi once again he was reminded Naruto wasn't a child. Though when huddled on the ground before he looked so small it held the illusion he was still his charge. He wasn't sure how he felt about the blond being a grown man. For the first time tonight the jounin frowned like he wanted too showing honest emotions.

“If you continue to show your vulnerability people will prey on it.”

The older man brushed past the man's shoulder deliberately but not to leave as the whisker scarred man thought. Sitting down Kakashi readjusted himself as previously, head in hand, looking bored as before. This was something Naruto wasn't use too. It had been a long time since his sensei defended him in any way and he didn't use the opportunity to leave either. What was this?

Cautiously he sat back down well aware of a trained eye staring at his every movement. Naruto was grossly blushing, mostly in embarrassment. It had been a long time, not since being mocked but from it having such an effect from him and it had to happen while he was with Kakashi. For some reason that made it infinity worse. His cheeks were beat red as his hands clutched the tight pants. His body tense, muscles bunched as the other man stared at him quietly.

For the life of him he couldn't phantom just what the dog tamer was thinking. In his own Hatake Kakashi way he helped him but there was something odd about the whole situation. He couldn't bare to look at the eye watching him, like he could feel the pity in it. It was so not like the perverted ninja. Did Naruto look that pathetic out there to garner such emotions from the copy cat ninja?

“Oh my Kakashi-san that was brilliant performance. I've never been so touched.” A proud booming voice broke the awkward silence in a comical way as the old ramen chef stared at Kakashi quite affectionately. Both costumers were stunned speechless.

“What a jerk that man was but you handled it so wonderfully, here have some more ramen...” Quickly Kakashi was given another bowl as the elder man gave a smile that practically swallowed his face, in return he received silence. I stayed that way until the gears in Naruto's head finally went back to work, only took three minutes.

“Your doing it again! If you have so much ramen to spare why not give me a free bowl?! What's your angle old man? Are you plotting something?!” The blond sat up slamming his hands against the counter. “What are you up too?” He suspiciously squinted at the other man who was rubbing the back of his head forcefully laughing his words off. Kakashi sat quietly and watched the exchanged throughly amused.

“What are you saying? Your fine sensei had the heart to come here and buy you dinner than back you up in a fight, good deeds should be awarded accordingly, you should act more grateful brat!” He smacked his fist on the counter causing the bowl to shake some of the contents spilling over, at which point the jounin moved his arms to avoid the liquid.

“He did it for me not for you, why are you giving him food? Your up to something and I know it!” Naruto was growling his words at that point Kakashi couldn't help but lift a brow at the display. Then the young man's face bled to surprise as understanding dawned on his face.

“You sneaky old man! You were looking at him... naked!” The old man blanched blushing madly while the veteran ninja froze. People all around stopped at the outburst. Kakashi outwardly groaned as Naruto caused another scene the third time that night. An accusing finger pointed at the man to emphasized the boy's point.

“You wanted to get a look at his face didn't you? You dirty pervert!” Naruto proceed to accost the man his face moving in closer until he was nearly against the other man's nose his almost crossing. The man on the other side of the stand could do nothing but blush sweating as his guilty crimes were voiced. Kakashi's next words were very crucial he chose them wisely.

“Wasn't that why you were peeping in on me in the shower earlier Naruto?” His voice was light and inquisitive as though he didn't even know the answer, the silver hair man was quite the actor after all. For a moment there was nothing but the visual of Naruto's face and neck turning red as sweat formed on his forehead. It spoke in volumes. For the most part the stand's owner looked just as flustered his image mirroring that of the blond's.

“Though you didn't get to see my face you saw far more skin than what was decent didn't you?” Slowly the young ninja turned straining his neck with the swell of tension to look at his delighted sensei, their third party had dropped his jaw and made a inhuman sound in his throat, something akin to wood creaking as straining from years of disuse.

Then the chase was on.

There was a battle cry by far more animal than man as the old man grabbed a frying pan and kitchen knife, Naruto was on his feet and running before the other could jump over the counter. Though speed he had as a ninja alone didn't out match the fury of one jealous man. Kakashi throughly enjoyed Naruto run around through the crowd of people with one demonic chef at his heels.

Sadist? Maybe a little.

Then there was another guest at his side watching the show with him.

“I thought you went home.” It was a statement in as much as a question.

“I got bored.”

“Hnn.” Kakashi was surprised to even get a straight answer.

“You look to be having fun. So getting to laugh at someone's misery do it for you?” The baiting was a more typical response the jounin expected, one he was more comfortable with.

“Why whatever are you saying Sasuke-kun? You know only Icha Icha and your bedroom eyes can inflame my passion.”

He didn't turn to see the Uchiha behind him but he didn't miss the intensity of the gaze aimed at his back.

“That's what I was speaking of, the fire in your eyes makes my body burn so.” Kakashi spoke in a dead panned voice as Naruto, about thirty feet away, knocked over a vegetable stand. Jumping on it so rushed and clumsy all it took was the old chef to grab his ankle for everything to tumble over.

“Well the plan was to make you internally combust but the skill hasn't been perfected yet.” His sarcasm was coupled with acidic disdain. The jounin wondered why the boy even expended energy acting as though he hated it so much when he sought to have a battle of wits with someone every chance he got.

“They already have a technique for that. It's called sex, you should try it sometime.”

There was a silence behind him so the one eye ninja amused himself , as Sasuke gathered his bearings, with watching the ramen stand owner abandon his knife to belly flop onto Naruto from a roof he somehow manage to nimbly climb. The old man than proceeded to wail on the boy with obviously exaggerated hits. Then again since the young blond was use to taking beatings from Sakura the old man's hits would feel like being poked with a finger.

Why did Naruto look to gain attention from being beaten? The silver hair nin wondered if he wasn't masochist. He sought to prove his theory by looking below the belt line of one pair of tight black pants. He did find a bulge but it didn't look erect. He than decided looking at the same man's crotch twice in one hour seemed like he was interested. That was bad when he certainly was not.

“Is that all your perverted mind can think of?” Sasuke voice was as tense as it was vexed at losing already. Kakashi turned bringing his attention away from Naruto begging for mercy at the old man's feet as the old man stood with his arms crossed, to direct his gaze at the sharingan heir. He got a eye full of the equivalent of a Sasuke pout. Black eyes spoke of death and teeth were visible as lips thinned to the tightening of his jaw. It reminded the hound summoner of a vicious puppy biting back at his foe.

“If you knew what I know then I'm sure you'd be thinking of the same thing.” The veteran jounin had a certain heinous gleam in his eye as he said that before he stood up swiftly. Sasuke was stunned to silence once again. The the blue eyed boy followed a shorter older man back towards them quickly blurting out apologies and promises, one of them Kakashi swore sound like 'I'll get pictures next time.' Actually he was rather sure of it, which was unnerving to think Naruto would spring up in his house again at random this time with the purpose of getting nudes pictures. He didn't expect that kind of kinkiness from Naruto.

Why did that thought not disturb him like it should?

“I'd rather become a eunuch than think like you do Kakashi.”

The silver hair man was thankfully erupted from his trail of thoughts by Sasukes reply. Sincerely his mind wandered off with or without his say on it. Genius minds had it hard.

“Whats a eunuch?” Naruto blurted out as he approached genuinely curious and quickly pushing the fact he was just beaten by one old man out of his head. How easy simpletons had it.

“If you do not know then just know you are and how much better the population of the world is with it as such.” Was Sasuke long winded reply. It amused the veteran jounin the Uchiha proceeded to pick on someone slow minded because he couldn't win in fight with a man who's crafty intellect exceeded his own. He needed to teach his student a lesson.

“He called you dickless Naruto.” Kakashi advised receiving a curious look from Naruto and a glare from Sasuke. The reaction there after was expected, the blond exploded.

“You asshole! Why is everyone about my dick? It's there and its fine more than you could handle!” Naruto had his fist in the dark eye boy's face and his reply was more, well, homosexual then he realized. Everyone but him thought so.

“I think he just made you an offer Sasuke what do you think?” Naruto found it odd Kakashi's voice was so close to him but he didn't think about the heat near his back until a wind chill hit his bare ass.

Honestly outings with Naruto were never dull and there was always a lot of attention, alot of unwanted attention. This time though Kakashi was proud to get jump on the boy and for once to be the cause of the mischief.
Naruto stood in all his glory, pants around his ankles with his naughty sensei at his feet. You could hear the blushing of the people around them. Childrens eyes being covered over, men trying not to look so threatened and women with unnatural gleams in their eyes. Sasuke was at the front line of it. It hadn't been the first time to see the boy naked but it had since Naruto grew into a man. A man he was, suddenly the brunette didn't feel so high and mighty.

“Well Sasuke how's the merchandise looking? Something you want to invest in?” Kakashi was all smiles dosed in sinister evil. The silver hair man patted Naruto's thigh a couple of times before having the decently to stand back up bringing the tight pants back up in their place as he did so. The blue eye man for his part had yet to react and remained stationary as all this happened. The old man turned three shades of red and two shades of blue as he forgot to breath and choked a moment later fighting to get air back in his lungs.

“Kakashi... did you just... pull down my pants?” Naruto asked in a almost whisper. Must have still been shocked by the trauma. The former teacher made a affirmative sound as he hid being worried at the lack of an explosion on the blond's part.

“Oh. I'm going home now. See everyone later.” He mutely waved and turned to go the few people around after the night of chaos stayed clear of him but he paid no heed as he walked down the road. His pants weren't zipped or button back up either.

They were even more surprised about that, Kakashi the most.

“I can't believe he did that.” Sasuke said in a soft whisper.

“Me neither, Kakashi-san aren't you a little old for pranks?” The shop keep said a blush still powered his cheeks.

“I wasn't speaking of the pervert what's wrong with Naruto? He is dim witted but even he could understand humiliation.” The dark eye Uchiha muttered displeased and rather wishing to have a brain scrubber, the images of tonight would haunt his dreams for sure.

Kakashi was a little scared himself but didn't show it instead after watching the blond disappear from sight entirely he gave a little wave of his hand and cheerily spoke. “Well tonight was exciting wasn't it? I really aught to be going home but you enjoy the rest of the evening. Just front me for the bill alright?” He said the last to the old man as he placed a hand on the his shoulder before walking home himself leaving Sasuke to pout as Sasuke did.

He knew Naruto well enough that just because tonight he got away with it surely tomorrow or another day the number one surprise ninja of Konoha would pay him back in full. Still though the reaction was peculiar, no yelling, no frantic blushing or trying to cover his genitals. It was a mystery even to him what the boy was thinking after that. One thing was for sure.

Kakashi didn't get his porn back that night.

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I'll be honest I was in a hurry to end the chapter so I could get it out but at the same time I think this is a interesting thing to end with since everyone will have to wait a couple of weeks (months) to find out why Naruto just walked away.

Note: Not everyone will understand Kakashi's reaction to the farmer, my friend thought it was rather callus. Kakashi said his name for a reason. A man's name carries worth as a ninja. It was Kakashi's way of saying, you should know me, you should know of what I can do, what I will do if you don't fuck off.

Isn't that so sweet?