Wrong Number

AN: I have found the secret to making sure this didn’t go past 4 chapters…. longer chapters! Hope you find some amusement in this! I actually did research for this chapter…scary! Next chapter is the smut, so if anyone has a preference, let me know. I like my boys either way so I don’t really care who is on top.

Chapter 27 for The Sound of Dreams will be out tomorrow on time! Hooray for smut!

One last note: Yes, Sasuke may seem a little OOC. That’s because he is deliberately not being himself… and therein lies the problem!

Wrong Number - 3. Redial

Sasuke frowned to himself as he walked back to his car. Apparently while the whole thing had been a set-up, it hadn't been a prank at his expense. Kiba truly believed that Naruto really liked him, but just hadn't owned up to it yet.

He had to admit that after overhearing their conversation he was even more curious about the blonde. He had to reluctantly admit that no one had ever grabbed his attention in such a way. He wanted to get to know him better but had no clue as to how in the hell he should go about it. Especially since all they ever seemed to do is argue and cuss at each other. He needed to find a better way to approach the other man.

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Sasuke sat in front of his computer in the spare-bedroom-turned-study-area. He didn't know the first thing about asking someone out since all the dates he had been on had been solicited by the girls. He didn't plan on going out on a date date with Naruto, but he thought it might be best if they went somewhere where they could get to know each other better. Some place public where the blonde couldn't go ballistic without making a scene.

So, the stoic young man did what he would do with any other subject that he needed to know more about. He researched it on the internet. He brought up the search page and stared at the blinking cursor blankly for a moment. Then he began to type.

"Dating Guide"

He was surprised at the number of hits. Obviously he wasn't the only clueless person on the planet.

He clicked on an entry that looked promising. He was then whisked off to a website that proclaimed it had all the dating answers. He selected the "For Guys" section and watched as a page loaded up telling him how to pick up a girl. He frowned. He didn't want to pick up a girl. He wanted to pick up a guy.

Lip curling in disgust, he clicked on the "For Girls" section.

This is why you are here. There's this cute guy you really like and you've done everything you could think of to attract his attention! You've tried the cute pouty face, tried dressing up in his favorite colors, got a new hair style, but nothing seems to make him notice.

'There is no way in hell I would do any of that,' Sasuke thought with a grimace. Uchihas never pouted, he would look ridiculous in orange and he happened to like his hair style the way it was, thank you very much.

The easiest way to gain his attention is flattery. Guys brag by nature and the only thing better than bragging about themselves is to have a girl notice how great they are. They're proud, egoistical and exceptionally vain. If you need help, see the section on How To Compliment A Guy."

Sasuke felt his eyebrow twitching. This had to have been written by a woman. A woman with a phenomenally poor outlook on men in general. Although he had to admit, Naruto was always crowing about something or other that he'd done. Whether it was making a difficult play in sports or a decent grade on a paper, the blonde was always showing off.

He finished reading over the website and just had to shake his head. Dating sounded like it was more trouble than it was worth. Why couldn't he just show up and be himself?

Research memorized and a plan of attack firmly in place, Sasuke went out in search of his prey. The blonde wouldn't know what hit him. In just a short while he would be putty in Sasuke's hands, begging for a chance to belong to the Uchiha.

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Uzumaki Seduction Plan - Day 3

His mark was being abnormally elusive. Sasuke had barely sighted him at all these past few days. Of course there had been the test that counted as a third of their grade in the class that they shared for which they both had been studying madly.

Scores were supposed to be posted outside of their professor's office today and that was where Sasuke finally found his quarry. There were several other students around the bulletin board and Naruto didn't seem to notice him at first as he jostled with the others to get a look.

Finally their eyes met, cool black ones to wide, embarrassed blue ones. Face turning red, Naruto quickly looked away.

The easiest way to gain his attention is flattery.

Sasuke cleared his throat, trying not to sound nervous. "I'm sure you did just as well as you normally do," he muttered just loud enough for the blonde to hear him.

Naruto couldn't help but look back over to the source of his mortification. Did he hear right? Had the bastard really said something encouraging?

The crowd thinned down in front of the paper and Naruto pushed his way in to look at the numbers.

Uzumaki, Naruto 68

And right above it:

Uchiha, Sasuke 99

Naruto clenched his jaw in anger. No, the bastard hadn't been encouraging him. He'd been insulting him in his sly Mr. 4.0 grade point average manner. He was rubbing it in his face! It was bad enough that it had been thoughts of the stoic bastard that had kept distracting Naruto from his studies, but now the jerk had to make fun of his grades!

He glared at the raven-haired asshole before roughly shoving him into the wall before walking off.

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Uzumaki Seduction Plan - Day 4

It was Friday and Sasuke was sitting at his first basketball game. Basketball wasn't a sport that he really got into, but there was a very important reason he was here. He had over heard some girls talking about the "hot blonde, Uzumaki" on the team and how talented he was. And how they wondered if he was talented on other playing fields as well.

It was at that point that they had noticed his presence and went into instant "fangirl mode." He had taken great delight in brushing them off unequivocally.

So, here he was watching the idiot run up and down a hardwood floor either bouncing a ball around or looking like he was trying to grope another guy.

For reasons unknown to Sasuke, the coach called Naruto to sit on the bench while he sent someone else out on court. The blonde looked slightly upset and his dark-eyed admirer decided now would be a perfect time to supply another compliment and maybe cheer up the dobe.


Naruto sat on the bench, fuming silently. He had woken up this morning with stomach cramps from hell. He must have eaten something bad the night before, but he couldn't think of what it might be. To make matters worse, his condition was throwing his game off. He wasn't moving as fast as he should and didn't have as much stamina. He had already acquired three fouls with his bad temper as the other team questioned his ability and jeered at him for even being on the court.

He felt a chill go down his spine as a familiar presence came up behind him. He resolutely ignored the bastard, not wanting the other to know just how much him being there bothered him. He was trying to deal with his embarrassment involving the jerk and perhaps examine why the other student got on his nerves so easily, but he couldn't believe that Kiba had thought that Naruto actually liked the asshole.

He felt a hole slowly being burned into the back of his head until Sasuke finally spoke up.

"Nice game," he stated in his usual bland tone.

Naruto snapped.

Without even pausing to think, the blonde stood and spun in the same motion and then practically threw himself at the raven-haired man, fist already pulled back and ready to fly.

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Uzumaki Seduction Plan - Day 7

Sasuke gently poked the slowly fading bruise on his cheek where he hadn't dodged quite fast enough from the surprise attack. He didn't know what the hell the blonde's problem was but apparently he didn't take compliments very well. And it definitely hadn't been his fault that the coach had sent the enraged young man to the showers, ejecting him out of the game.

He sighed in frustration. After flipping him off, the dobe had avoided even looking at him in class today. How the hell was he supposed to attract his interest enough to ask him on a date if the idiot wouldn't even look at him?

Wanting to get out of his apartment for awhile, Sasuke decided to go to the campus lounge. He wanted to grab a bite to eat and relax. The lounge was perfect because he fit in and was around people yet he wasn't surrounded by them.

After a quick burger at the nearby tables, Sasuke walked over into the seating area of the lounge where there were stuffed recliners and comfy battered couches littered about the room. He had been heading toward a corner where there were two recliners around a low circular table. It looked perfect for the bit of non-interactive company for which he was looking.

Halfway there, however, a painfully familiar voice called out to him.

"Sasuke!" exclaimed a certain bit of pink-haired fluff.

He contemplated ignoring her when he heard another familiar voice grumble in response to her enthusiastic greeting. His victim, errrr, his current interest was here in the lounge. Perhaps the gods were starting to smile in his direction after crapping on him previously.

He altered his course much to Sakura's delight and sat on the couch across from where she was sitting by Naruto. It looked like she was about to bound over to Sasuke's side of the coffee table when suddenly Kiba plopped down next to him. Both Naruto and Sasuke looked slightly relieved while the girl glared at the newcomer.
Kiba started the conversation up easily enough and Sakura grudgingly participated. Naruto didn't say too much, too busy glaring over at Sasuke and Sasuke was frantically racking his brain for his memorized dating advice. It came to him in a flash.

Another thing that you can do to attract his attention is to imitate his movements. When he yawns you should yawn as well. When he crosses or uncrosses his legs, you should do the same. It sends him the signal that your body is 'unconsciously' following his lead which will arouse his interest.

Personally Sasuke didn't think it would work, but he was willing to try if it would gain Naruto's attention.


Naruto felt his hand twitch, wanting to clench in a fist. The damned bastard had just done it again. At first he had thought it coincidence that every time he moved a few seconds would pass by and that bastard would make the same motion. He began to deliberately fidget by scratching his head, stretching out and other little subtle motions to which Kiba and Sakura seemed totally oblivious. However, that jerkoff would mirror him after a few heartbeats. It was really starting to piss him off.

He tried to keep the evil smile from stretching across his face. 'Let's see how far he's willing to go.'

Naruto shifted his weight casually toward Sakura and, without a hint of embarrassment, proceeded to pluck at the ass of his jeans as if to pull his boxers out from his crack. Sakura made a disgusted face at him but he ignored her, instead staring at Sasuke from the corner of his eye. He saw the black brow twitch in consternation. A few seconds later, the other man merely reached behind him to tug at the waistband of his jeans.

'Hah, wimp!' Naruto snorted mentally.

He let the conversation flow around him for a few more moments, participating in a seemingly mindful manner. Truthfully he had no clue what he was actually saying. He was waiting in anticipation for the next move in their little game.

After he deemed enough time to have passed, Naruto let out a rather loud belch, causing a snicker from Kiba and a reprimand from Sakura. He then put his hand under his shirt to scratch at his belly before tucking the fingers under the waistband of his jeans a la Al Bundy.

'Come on, you snooty rich brat. Copy that!'

Before Naruto could count to ten Mississippi, Sasuke brought his hand up to cover a delicate burp. The prissy bastard even muttered an "Excuse me." He then proceeded to tuck his thumb under his jeans, leaving his fingers curled to the side of his groin.

Naruto had to cover his mouth with his other hand and turn away so that the jerk couldn't see him trying to stifle his laughter. If the bastard wanted to play with The Great Uzumaki, then he had to leave the "Miss Manners" at home and get down and dirty.

Speaking of down and dirty...

Naruto slouched back on the couch a bit, spread his knees a little and then reached down with the same hand under pants to adjust his pride and joy before casually scratching his balls.

'Take that, ya bastard!' Naruto couldn't help but avidly await what the Uchiha was going to do with that one.

"Naruto!" Sakura said in shocked disbelief. "You're about as bad as Kiba's dog!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kiba demanded. "It's not like he licked himself in public."

"He may as well have!" she countered, still scandalized. "Men! You guys are all pigs." She got up in a huff and walked off; not wanting to put up with Naruto's poorer than usual manners.

Naruto barely acknowledged her departure so wrapped up in his game with Sasuke. After the other failed to copy or counter his move after several moments, Naruto took the chance to turn to him fully.

He then realized that he might have made a tactical error. Sasuke was staring fixedly at the blonde's groin and he recognized that look on the dark-eyed man's face. It was the same look that he himself got when staring at a piping hot bowl of his favorite flavor of ramen.

"Wowlookatthetime! Gottagoseeya!" Naruto said in a breathless rush before bolting for the nearest exit.

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Uzumaki Seduction Plan - Day 10

Sasuke logged onto the website for a quick review of what he wanted to try today. Naruto was back to avoiding him like the plague. He was tardy to class like usual and he was the first out the door when the professor dismissed them. He had apparently changed his hours at the gym because Sasuke had been unable to find him there either.

He needed to be ready for when he finally did track the dobe down.

Try rearranging your hair in his presence. Guys love to watch women play with their hair. Even better, get him to help with a hairpin or something. He might mess up your hair, but he will feel really flattered that you asked. At the same time, accidentally brush your arm against his body and then apologize. You don't want him to think you are too forward, but at the same time, he will appreciate the body to body contact.

Having his head set on fire was the only way he would want another guy to touch his hair in public. Who the hell writes these things? And while brushing up against him sounded interesting, knowing Uzumaki he would end up with a few broken bones if he tried it.

He dropped his face into his palm as he shook his head. He wasn't making very much progress. Maybe he should just give up the idea and get on with his life. The only problem was that after the scene at the lounge Mr. Happy just laid there despondently at the thought of any other playmate other than Naruto.


Sasuke had been all over campus with no luck in locating the blonde. He was about to give up and call it a day when he saw Inuzuka walking his direction. The brunette made eye contact with him so he was forced to wait until the other drew even with him.

"He's in the library," is the only thing Kiba said before walking on.

Sasuke quickly headed that direction, mentally racing through his plans. Once to the building, he forced himself to slow down and enter casually. His gaze swept across the room until he spotted a flash of blonde heading up to the second floor. He quickly moved that direction, keeping his eye on the target. He started to jog up the stairs, but then forced himself to slow down again and act normal.

By the time he had reached the second floor, Naruto had returned to his seat. Papers were spread out on the desk as well as several books. Obviously he was working on a term paper of some sort. Sasuke strolled over and sat one seat down and opposite of the other. Ignoring the suspicious look he was receiving, he ran his fingers through his hair. He fiddled with his bangs, trying to keep them back behind his ears before giving a huff of annoyance.

'I feel so fucking stupid,' he thought in embarrassment as he fished out a small compact mirror and a brush. Blonde eyebrows furrowed together as he started messing with his hair.

'Is it really working?' he began to wonder as Naruto's hand came up to prop up his chin as he continued to stare.

After several minutes, Sasuke's motions began to falter. What in the hell was he supposed to do now? He didn't use hairpins or any of that shit and he didn't think Naruto would appreciate being asked to help brush his hair. He slowly stopped fussing over his black locks and tucked away the mirror. His eyes flicked up to meet curious blue ones.

"What?" he asked, his slightly defensive tone masking his uncertainty.

Naruto made a vague gesture towards Sasuke face. "I was just waiting for you to put on your make up." He quickly dove to the side to avoid the deftly thrown hairbrush whizzing at his head.

Face burning brightly, Sasuke stalked out of the library.

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Uzumaki Seduction Plan - Day 11

If all else fails, use this line! "I think you're cute. Would you like to do something together sometime?" Guys love being called cute. It's the best compliment you can give them. Hopefully all of your hard work will have paid off and you'll have yourself a date!

Sasuke had always hated it when girls called him cute. It made him feel like some kind of puppy dog or stray kitten. Animals and kids were cute (well, maybe not kids), however guys were handsome or at least good looking. But at this point in time he was desperate enough to try anything. Hell, he would fucking yodel if he thought it would get him into the dobe's pants.

Crushing what little pride he had left, he got ready for the day.

He tracked the dobe down to the court yard that afternoon where everyone congregated to meet up and go elsewhere or to just hang out. He ignored the strange looks from people who recognized him and went straight to the steps where Naruto was sitting with Kiba. Blue eyes glanced up at him and were already moving back to his friend beside him when they jerked back upwards in shock.

"What in the hell happened to you?" were the first words out of the blonde's mouth.

Sasuke shifted self-consciously. "What do you mean?" he asked although he knew damn well what the other male was talking about.

"Didn't you have a backup case of hair gel at home?" Naruto jibed.

Sasuke ran an uneasy hand through his straight hair. It had taken him hours to get it to fall flat on his head. "I thought it would be different," he muttered.

"It's different, all right," Naruto snickered. "You look like a wet dog. And while I love orange, you look like a corpse in it," he added, gesturing at the long-sleeved shirt Sasuke was wearing.

Sasuke was beginning to feel a queasy sensation in his stomach. He felt himself near his breaking point. He bitterly wondered if this was how his brother had felt before he had gone on a killing spree.

"Look, I fucking think you're cute, okay? Do you want to do something together sometime or not?" he growled out.

Naruto let out a huff of a laugh. "Has anyone ever suggested you get counseling?"

Sasuke felt his body tense up. 'Must not kill him,' he reminded himself.

"Because you're really psycho," he continued on relentlessly.

'Must not kill him, must not kill him.' "My brother's the one in the psych ward," he bit out.

"Maybe you should join him," Naruto suggested lightly.

'He's dead.'

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Uzumaki Seduction Plan - Day 14

Sasuke shifted in his seat a bit uncomfortably. He could tell a few of his ribs were still bruised by the pain in his side if he sat in one position for too long. The scrapes and scratches should be mostly gone in a few days, but he was going to have to see a dentist if his tooth didn't tighten back up soon.

He lifted his head to glare at the blonde that was approaching his desk. It was Monday morning again and they were both back in the same classroom. He didn't think the other man would have the balls to come up to him after the brawl they'd had Friday. His scowl darkened further when he saw that the black eye had already healed up quite a bit on the tanned face.

"Look," Naruto said awkwardly. "I didn't know about your family. Sakura told me what had happened. I didn't really mean what I said. I'm sorry."

Sasuke continued to stare at the other boy, not sure if he was really ready to forgive him for everything that he'd been through the last two weeks.

"And, if it will help make up for it, I'll go out with you Friday," he added in a quiet mumble.

Suddenly all of Sasuke's attention was focused squarely on the younger man, making Naruto squirm slightly under the scrutiny.

"Seven o'clock. Dress nicely." He wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He was going to make sure he got something out of the humiliation he'd suffered even if it was only one date.

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Uzumaki Seduction Plan - Day 15

Romantic gifts tell her that you are thinking about her. The type of gift you give her will also tell her something about you so make sure that you put some thought into what you buy. Poetry books, anything lacy, anything with a fragrance, jewelry, tickets for a weekend for two, or lingerie are all nice items that will win her heart.

Sasuke browsed the store, trying to find just the right thing to convey the message that he wanted. He held up a barely-there leather thong.

'Not until we've slept together,' he decided.

He found a pair of black silk boxers.

'Too tame.'

He looked around for another ten minutes before finding the perfect gift.

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Uzumaki Seduction Plan - Day 16

Naruto arrived home late in the afternoon after a good work-out session with Kiba to find a package sitting on his doorstep. Someone had apparently been in a big hurry since it had been mailed through overnight delivery. Someone named Uchiha according to the package.

Burning with curiosity, he hurriedly unlocked the door and brought the box inside. Kicking his door shut, he dropped his gym bag to the side and put the package on the bar that divided the kitchen and living room. He ripped through the wrappings until he came to a white clothing box.

Even more confused, he opened it up and peeled back the tissue paper to reveal the contents.

His eyes widened and his face flushed as he held up the black see-through sleeveless half-shirt and matching boxers. The boxers had a single set of red lip prints on the ass.

His eyes lit on the card that had accompanied the gift.

Dobe,
Wear this Friday night. Even if I don't get to see it on you, it'll be enough to know that you are wearing it for me.
S.

"I'm going to kill him," Naruto growled out.

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Uzumaki Seduction Plan - Day 17

Sasuke was sitting at his desk at one of the lower tiers towards the front of the class. The professor hadn't started class yet and students were milling around and talking to each other about their current project before the lesson began.

The door opened with a crash and an irate blonde stalked into the room carrying a plain brown paper bag. The room fell silent as he began yelling at Sasuke, shaking the bag in his pale face.

"You perverted bastard! Just because I agreed to go out with you on Friday doesn't mean I'm going to wear kinky shit so you can sit there and drool over dinner!" He threw the bag at Sasuke who caught it reflexively. "If you like stuff like that so much, you wear it!"

With that, he turned and stomped back out of the room.

Sasuke buried his face in his hand and desperately tried to ignore the speculative looks and soft snickers.

The only thing he knew for sure by this point in time is that the damn idiot had better put out.