Crazy Daze

III

Iruka paced around us, obviously venting about the immaturity of his coworkers. Kyuubi was laughing at the poor brunette and he only laughed harder as I tried to get him to shut up. Iruka finally sat down behind his desk and lanced at me, sighing.

“I’m sorry, Naruto. Kakashi-sempai is crazy.”

- I’ll say, - Kyuubi said. – I mean, who stalks a kid? Except perverts, of course. -

I don’t think Kakashi’s –that– kind of pervert.

- No, - Kyuubi agreed. – He just wants to bone the dolphin. –

I chocked on my air and when I recovered, Iruka was staring at me. I gave a sheepish grin.

“What did he say?” Iruka asked slowly, as if dreading my response. I debated about lying, but it was too much fun to watch Iruka-sensei blush. So I picked my words carefully and put on my best sincere face.

“Kyuubi said that Kakashi is a pervert.”

“Naruto?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.” Iruka hung his head, face in his hands, either blushing or planning my demise. I hoped it was the former. When he lifted his head, scrubbing either blushing or planning my demise. I hoped it was the former. When he lifted his head, she scrubbed his face to try to hide his blush.

“Everyone knows he’s a pervert.” Iruka said. “There’s really no surprise there.”

- It is when he wants to screw you. – Kyuubi said a bid snidely. I gave a disinterested sigh and yawned.

“Surprise or not he is, right?” I asked, ignoring Kyuubi’s comments. Iruka gave a little groan.

“When did you become a therapist?”

I smiled. “When you became the patient.”

Iruka got up from behind his desk and paced a bit more before he came over to me and caught me in a headlock, a vicious nuggie following. I yelled and struggled and finally whined to be let go. Kyuubi grit his teeth at the whining, but hey, when all else fails, right? The brunette man finally let me go and stepped away as I tried to tame my messed up hair, giving up and leaving the knots in it so my hair stuck up in every direction.

“Brat,” Iruka said with a smile. I could only grin. “All right. Let’s show you around. Tsunade-sama gave me your room assignment, so let’s get you settled.

“Aw, I can’t sleep in your office anymore?”

“No. Don’t give me that look. Out.”

Iruka pushed me out of the office after he glanced about to make sure Kakashi wasn’t around, and together, he showed me everything in the building. Bathrooms, showers, cafeteria, hell, even the nurse’s station. Te place was huge and I was suddenly struck with the thought that maybe everyone here didn’t get to see that much. Iruka bought me lunch on our way back to the office. Ramen.

- He’s sucking up. -

He bought me lunch!

- God, you’re in love with him! -

Food!

Kyuubi gave a long sigh. – Naruto. –

Shut up. I’m eating.

I slurped my treat as Iruka left me at the table we’d picked to talk to one of his colleagues, I had to assume. She was a pretty woman, raven hair and crimson eyes, a nurse as far as I could tell because she was pushing around a card with tiny plastic cups on it. I looked around, wondering if Sasuke was around. I didn’t see him, but there were others in the room, a pair by the window – a redhead and a blonde – another redhead with dark circles under his eyes sitting by himself in a corner, obviously staring at a boy with dark hair and moonlight coloured eyes. I was sure they were only a few of the people here, but they seemed as if they belonged here. I didn’t.

- You really wanna get out of here? – Kyuubi asked me.

Hell no.

- Then you’re just like them, just with a different problem. -

Shut up.

I hated it when Kyuubi was right. He got all smug and superior – made me want to take him down a notch. I slurped my ramen and scowled into the broth when I set the bowl down on the table. I felt Iruka put a hand on my shoulder as he sat back down, head tilting, watching me. I pouted, wanting him to ask me what was wrong, but eh didn’t. So I looked up at him and sat there, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

“Kyuubi’s being a prick,” I said finally. Iruka frowned.

“Kyuubi, leave Naruto alone.” Iruka said, looking exasperated. Kyuubi was speechless for a moment.

- You bastard! – Kyuubi cried at me. – That’s not fair! -

Suck it up, fox-bastard!

- Screw you, brat. -

You’d like to.

- Ew. -

“Boys,” Iruka said sharply, and we glanced at him, eyes dark with a glower. The man didn’t waver, giving us both a stern look. Eventually, Kyuubi broke down and I hung my head in shame.

“We’re sorry.”

Iruka sighed and reached to pat my head affectionately. “Finish up. The last thing to show you is your room.”

I gave a noncommittal reply and picked up my bowl, taking my sweet time in finishing. Iruka-sensei even made me take my bowl and spoon – because forks and knives and chopsticks were illegal here. Someone might get – hurt – and take it back to the kitchen. Wasn’t this what they had maids for? I fought not to pout because it would only make Iruka unhappy with me and it would make Kyuubi make fun of me. So I ran offer Iruka-sensei down another hall, instructed which way to go to reach Iruka’s office from my room, and when I walked inside I was shocked to see two beds.

“What’s wrong?” Iruka asked me.

“Two beds,” I replied. Iruka nodded slowly. “Why?”

“Roommate,” Iruka said. “There are a lot of people here Naruto. Not everyone gets their own room.”

- Sasuke did. -

Sasuke’s different.

- Uh-huh. -

I glowered at Kyuubi, but he only shrugged and turned away from me. I turned to look at Iruka, pointing at the two beds, both identical to the other.

“Which one’s mine?”

“Whichever, I guess.” Iruka replied. “But you don’t have to choose right now. The whole afternoon is open.”

“I can do what I want?”

“Not exactly,”

“What’s that mean?”

Iruka-sensei gave me a wry smile. “It’s time for you to meet Shizune-san.”

- Who the hell is that? -

“Who’s that?”

Another wry smile and Iruka held out his hand toward me. “You’ll see. Come on.”

I took his hand, wondering what I was getting into now.