Falling Leaves

Diclaimer: I don’t own Naruto, oh no I dooooont. I don’t own Sasuke either. Do own anybody?! T-T Apparently not.

Author’s Note: Enjoy!


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Fireflies

The days fell into predictable rhythms. Each morning Naruto would do his check up and they would eat breakfast together, the blonde’s cheerful voice coaxing more into him than Sasuke was used to eating. It was strange, to have someone in his life, when before there had been nobody.
For Sasuke, those morning times together were a guilty pleasure. Like a child with a new toy he admired that perfect face, though he was carefully to hide his fascination behind a stoic mask. He never allow Naruto to stay long, driving the other man out of the room with a frown as soon as the food was all done. Closeness and familiarity could not be allowed.
The majority of the time Sasuke wanted Naruto to disappear from his life but when the blonde was standing before him he wanted nothing more than to bask in the light. Such desires he would try desperately to ignore.

The time Naruto spent with Sasuke was only a short part of his day, after that he was left to his own devices until dinnertime when he would peek around the door, all the while knowing that Sasuke’s glower would soon chase him away. Boredom became a constant companion. Each day he wandered from room to room, feeling as if the house was slowly suffocating him. Every room was bleaker than the last, adding to the oppressive feel.
Naruto wondered how Sasuke could stand it. The pale man sat for endless hours doing nothing, often staring out the window like a marble statue. If Naruto walked in during one of those spaced out moment, it took quite some time for Sasuke to return from wherever he had been, his expression always a little confused before it became an indignant glare.

The two men were separated by a deep chasm that Naruto was constantly trying to cross, but each time his attempts were rebuffed. Sasuke was like a dark fortress, completely impenetrable. But Naruto was determined, and as he lay in his room with nothing to do he made up plans to bring some form of happiness into the life of the bitter spirit that was Sasuke. He had to find a way to create a crack in that fortress wall, by whatever means necessary.

~~~

It was late night as Naruto slid into the room, the door closing quietly behind him. He was only a little surprised to see that Sasuke was still awake and seated beside his window. The scene was eerily reminiscent of the first time he had opened this door, stepping into a dark world. Only this time instead of sunlight, there were only shadows, giving it an even more sinister feel. Sasuke was cloaked in the shadows, the weak light of the moon making his skin a ghostly white and enhancing his sharp cheekbones.

“Still up Uzumaki. You’ve already done your last check-up for the night, what do you want?”

Naruto did not reply to the cold, faraway voice as he crossed the short space between them. Gently he moved to place the prize he had been cradling in his left arm on the windowsill. It was a glass jar in which two little balls of green light darted about.

When Naruto felt a confused gaze upon him he simply said, “Fireflies” as if that one word should explain everything. Sasuke didn’t seem to think so; he shifted irritably in his chair and waited for Naruto to either explain or get the hell out.

Naruto did neither, just smiled down at his patient with a self-satisfied air. It was an expression Sasuke had never seen before on that perfect face. Naruto looked so happy with himself, like the child that was displaying off the frog it had just caught or the prize stone in his collection. Watching that expression Sasuke took a moment to tune into when the sun began speaking once more.

“I found them in the garden. You never go outside so I thought you might like to look at them.”

Sasuke found his voice. “… I don’t.”

“Oh.” The smile was suddenly was gone, instead a frown appeared in its place. Turning away, Naruto tapped the side of the jar, sending the fireflies into a frenzied dance around their small prison.

In a time long past, a time Sasuke preferred to forget during his long days watching the oak, he had known many people. Most of these people, though lovely at first, lost their beauty once they frowned. It was if their inner selves, an ugly angry demon, were shown to the world.
Naruto was not such a person. He was different. When he frowned, his eyes deepened to a deep dark blue you could drown in, the look upon his face thoughtful as he contemplated on the source of his distress. Pink lips pouted ever so slightly and he tilted his chin upwards in a manner that showed he was ready to take on his troubles headfirst. It was an amazingly endearing look. Naruto was still the radiant sun, shining brightly despite the massing clouds.

“Hey Sasuke… why do you stare outside everyday?”

The question was so earnest that Sasuke had to answer, and when he did it was with complete honesty. “I watch the seasons pass by. And I wonder if I will live to see the next one. The tree out there is eternal, each spring it shall be reborn. I know I will not. So I am waiting for my winter.”

To Naruto it seemed as if he had been pierced through the heart. Naruto had never heard a voice so weary of the world, a mixture of underlying pain and acceptance of fate.
The sun knelt and Sasuke was shocked as Naruto’s head came to rest gently against his knee. “Ah, Sasuke.” Words that could barely be heard: the lowers of whispers with a mournful tone that caused Sasuke’s breath to catch in his throat.
As he watched, Naruto head tilted up so that blue eyes could see the shadow coated face.

“If you must look at something, Sasuke, please look at me. There is nothing but grief to be had watching the seasons change that tree day after day. Instead watch me…and I will always smile for you.”

Naruto was aware that he was crossing the line between nurse and patient, but at that moment he could not care in the slightest. If there was any comfort that he could offer his Sasuke the consequences didn’t matter.

Time began passing in silence, one man having said all he needed to say and the other too stunned to even speak. But both realized that this was a turning point. There was something new here. Neither could be sure exactly what it was, they only knew that it was a delicate thing and that the next few moments would decide whether what Naruto had started would blossom or wither.

During those few quiet moments Sasuke entwined his fingers though golden locks, the feel as wonderfully soft as he had imagined it to be. The gesture caused Naruto to give the smallest of relieved smile, knowing now that his offer, as odd as it had been, had been accepted.

Where before Sasuke’s heart had been in turmoil, as he let his fingers curls around blonde strands, something inside him stilled. If the sun truly wished to shed its beautiful light upon him then he would not hide from it any longer. It was all right now. No matter how selfish this decision was; he would drink up the light that was offered. If he didn’t allow himself this selfishness, the only thing left to him would be complete darkness.

He finally broke the silence and was glad to find that his voice was strong, seemingly unworried. “Doesn’t it bother you to watch me dying?”

“Everybody is dying. What depresses me is that you don’t seem to care. You sit and wait for the inevitable without even trying to enjoy what you have left. To me you already seem dead. It hurts so much to see you that way; I can only imagine what it must be like for you, yet you never so much as attempt to struggle out of this darkness you have created.”

There was a pain in his heart that Sasuke had been hiding from for a long time. With the close proximity of his sun, whose light could illuminate everything, he could no longer keep those feeling at bay. Searching for the strength inside himself that he needed, he found it, grasped it and then accepted his feeling about the sad, reality of his life.

“Naruto…” That name had never been spoken by his tongue before. It seemed a strange and exotic word. “I was like this long before I found out I was dying. It would almost be… a relief to go.”

“You aren’t afraid?”

Sasuke didn’t answer.

Frowning slightly, Naruto continued talking. “I’m afraid for you. I don’t want you to die. You are so far way… and nobody should die alone.”

The hand in Naruto’s hair tightened, almost making him flinch. When Naruto looked up, the look that he saw on Sasuke’s face almost made him cry. Such sadness in the way he hung his head, in the dark staring eyes, in the heavy shadows that partly hid his face and in every line of his being. But even as he watched the expression began to change, becoming lighter and more relaxed.

Sasuke took in a deep breath. He had believed that nobody would mourn his death. Maybe that wasn’t quite true.

“The fireflies are lovely.” Sasuke’s voice was low and husky, the voice of someone who has looked into the abyss and now wants to step away from it.

Naruto shifted so that he could drape an arm across Sasuke’s legs. “I know. I used to watch them when I was a kid. Even when it is so dark that the moon won’t show its face, they are there. Little glowing lights, showing you that you are not alone and the darkness in not impenetrable.”

His hand relaxing, Sasuke gave Naruto’s head a gentle caress. “I will remember that.”