The Dance

Don't kill me I swear there will be a happy ending.

---
Iruka groaned and rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. His head hurt and his chest felt like there was a lead weight on it. The thought struck him as odd, so he cracked one eye open just enough to make out the pale skin of an arm lying haphazardly across his chest.

'Shit,' he thought as the memories slowly rose from his sleep infected mind. Why was it he always made the stupid decisions when he drank even the smallest amount.

The last time, he'd agreed to let Anko dye his hair. He'd had to use a genjutsu to keep his students from seeing the bright blue mess she'd made of it. At least he hadn't let her cut it. The time before that, he was so drunk he didn't know what he'd agreed to, only that it had resulted in him being tied to tree on top of the Hokage Monument, naked. To make matters worse he had handprints traced all over himself and they were signed. If it hadn't been for the soap Ibiki gave him, after finding him, and after the usually impassive man managed to stop laughing, he doubted he would have ever gotten the marker off. At least not without scrubbing his skin until it was raw, and he wasn't even sure that would have worked.

This time, though, was worse. He could feel it in the pit of his stomach. This was not going to go well at all. He knew because he knew what had happened the last time, and he just couldn't see any other outcome. At least, maybe this time, he could make it so the other didn't realize how much it hurt. Make it so he could at least pretend things were normal. He was good at that after all. He'd /almost/ managed that the last time. Almost...

He slid out from under the arm, avoiding the way the other man reached out for him as he left.

"Morning..." The voice was groggy but warm.

"Morning," he replied, with little enthusiasm as he pulled on his robe and headed for the kitchen. The silver-haired man would either follow or he wouldn't. Maybe the latter would be easier. Which of course meant it wouldn't happen.

--------

"Kakashi," Iruka started as he poured the coffee, not looking up.

"Mm?" Kakashi leaned against the counter, watching the nervous chunin fixing coffee.

"About last night um..." Iruka swallowed audibly as he filled the pitcher with water.

"Yes?" Kakashi asked, a slight smile playing across his lips, last night had been good. So good. He was amused at how shy Iruka was acting. He doubted the brunette was virgin, yet he acted like he'd never had anyone stay the night before.

"As um... nice as it was..." He took a deep breath but didn't turn around. Instead, he poured the water in the coffee pot's resevoir before setting the pitcher down. "It shouldn't have happened," the chunin said in a rush, at last.

"What? Why not?" Kakashi asked, feeling rather indignant. Iruka hadn't been /that/ drunk so it wasn't like he'd taken advantage of the other man. He wondered, if maybe, he'd been wrong and Iruka really was with somebody. But Pakkun had... the mutt could have been wrong. Just because a shinobi didn't have another person's scent clinging to them didn't mean they hadn't been near them.

"Friends shouldn't um..." Iruka was still refusing to look at him as he pulled a coffee cup out of the dish drainer.

"You'd rather sleep with a complete stranger than me?" Kakashi's pride was hurt and it took more control than he wanted to admit not to outright growl over the statement. Although, a part of him was relieved, since it probably meant his previous assumption was correct. Iruka wasn't already with some one.

"Friends shouldn't have one night stands. It makes things weird," he said as though he hadn't even heard Kakashi.

"Who said it had to be a one night stand?" He was beginning to wonder, if he'd read more into this than was actually there. And, frankly, that thought pissed him off. Although, he wasn't sure, if he was mad at Iruka or himself. He hated the idea of so greatly misjuding the situation and the other man.

"I'm not interested in being your fuck buddy either. I'm not like Genma. I wasn't thinking clearly," the chunin paused while he poured himself a cup of coffee. "I do stupid things when I'm drunk. It wouldn't have happened otherwise. I'm sorry."

That was taking things a bit too far, in Kakashi's book. If Iruka wanted to pretend it was the booze, fine, but he should just say it. Just because he didn't hide who he'd slept with did not make him some kind of playboy. And he didn't appreciate having it implied either.

"I had no idea you had such a low opinion of me, Iruka-sensei. However, since that's how you really feel, then maybe you're right, maybe last night was a mistake." He didn't yell, he never yelled, but there was no mistaking the cold tone for anything other than anger. The way Iruka flinched at the words told him his point had been clear.

He slid back from the counter and headed for the door, grabbing his vest and hitia-ate off the floor before slipping his shoes on.

"And, despite what you've heard about Genma's bedroom policy, he's obviously a better man than you." When he slipped through the door, he didn't slam it, he simply let it click shut lightly behind him before he teleported away. He really wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone right now.

----------

Iruka slid to the floor, still holding his coffee. Why did things always go so badly when all he wanted was for them to go back to normal. "Why, what did I do wrong this time?" he asked no one.

He took a sip of coffee as he stared at the brown stone tiles of his kitchen floor. "Mizuki." The word slid unbidden from his lips. It was all so similar, but this time he thought he'd done the right thing. He'd done what he should have done the last time, and it still didn't work out. His chest tightened at the memory.

----

Iruka snuggled against the warmth, burying his face in his best friend's silver hair. "This is nice," he tightened his arms around Mizuki's waist. He'd never realized how much he liked mornings till just now.

"Mmm... Iruka you're hugging me too tight," his lover complained, pushing him gently away. "Why don't you go fix breakfast or something?"

"Sure," Iruka said, smiling and planting a kiss on the other chunin's cheek before sliding out of bed. "I'll fix some rice. Do you want pork or fish?"

"Whatever's fine. Just don't take forever. I have a mission later, and I still need to pack."

"Oh... okay." Iruka frowned as he pulled on his robe and padded to the kitchen. A part of him wished he'd been assigned to the mission, too, but he was still helping with the chunin exams.

He pulled the rice out and measured enough for the two of them, adding the appropriate amount of water, he clicked the rice cooker on and went to pull out the fish. On second thought, he pulled out the pork and some vegetables, too. Mizuki would be gone for a week, and he'd be stuck with ration bars for most of it. His last meal at home before a mission should be good.

Taking out the seasoning and oil, he started chopping vegetables while he mused the situation over. He had a lover for the first time. It sent little shivers of happiness up his spine. He couldn't stop smiling; it seemed so surreal. And, it was his best friend. Things couldn't be more perfect. He was humming to himself when Mizuki sat down at the counter, his hair still dripping from the shower.

"Thanks, Iruka."

"No problem, Mizuki-kun, mission food isn't always the best." He set his own plate down and joined the silver-haired man. "Who all is on your team this time?"

"Tsubaki, of course, and since you're not coming with us, Sandaime is sending Izumo and Kotetsu with us. It's a standard B rank surveilance mission to the borders of Cloud Country."

Iruka smiled, a part of him wishing even more that he could go. Izumo and Kotetsu were a lot of fun.

"A whole week with Tsubaki-chan, maybe I can finally convince her to give me a chance."

Iruka stopped chewing and just stared at Mizuki. The words lodged in his throat with the bite of food he'd taken. Some how he managed to swallow them both without choking.

The silver-haired man seemed to finally notice his silence nad looked over at him. "What?" he asked, seeming confused.

"But..." Iruka wasn't quite sure what he wanted to say. The thought just seemd to stop there as his heart crashed to the floor.

"You didn't think... last night? Come on, Iruka, we were drunk. I know you like me, but you can't honestly think that taking advantage of me while I'm drunk means we're together? I mean, if you weren't my best friend, I'd be fucking pissed right now." Mizuki ran his fingers through his hair, frowning.

Iruka wasn't even aware he was crying until he felt a tear hit his hand. He stared at the damp sopt it left for a moment before rubbing his eyes.

"Aw, come on, Iruka, don't cry. I'm not mad, I swear!"

Mizuki was the only one Iruka ever cried in front of, and, for the first time, he felt ashamed that the other was witness to his pain.

"Iruka, it's okay, I promise."

He didn't notice when the other stood up and was surprised to find himself wrapped in the other man's arms.

"Please dont' cry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have taken you with us to the bar. I know how you get. It was my fault, okay. Just don't cry anymore."

Somehow Iruka managed to force himself to stop. It was his fault and he knew it. Yet, Mizuki was willing to take the blame, the least he could do was stop crying.

"You okay now?" The other man asked, pulling back slightly.

He nodded and wiped at his nose, ashamed at how he was acting.

"We're still friends right?"

He nodded, sniffling slightly as he rubbed at his face.

"Good. Iruka, I have to go. I need to pack or I'll be late. I'm sorry. Really," Mizuki assured him before releasing him completely and heading for the door.

Iruka didn't watch him leave. He shoved his food across the counter and laid his head on the warm spot where it had been sitting. He wanted to cry, but he didn't. He sat there until the alarm he'd set the day before told him it was time to get ready to leave. At least work would take his mind off his own personal misery... he hoped.