Broken

------ Ch. 2 ------

"You must think I'm so pathetic," Iruka said, daring the copy-nin to argue.

"Iruka-sensei, do you know where we are? What this place is?" Kakashi asked calmly before taking another bite of his food.

The chunin studied his spoon intently, seeming to consider the possibilities. "An ANBU outpost?"

"It was. Back in the war with Stone. We have a lot of them, too many in fact. So, when the war ended, and we had no real need to have so many, Tsunade suggested her second great idea; that we turn them into retreats." He leaned back in his chair and sipped his tea. "All ANBU reach a point where they simply break. It's a combination of the kind of work we do and having to keep our emotions constantly at bay." Kakashi set his cup down and studied Iruka for a reaction. The brunette looked away but said nothing.

"Do you want to know where she got the idea?" The chunin nodded, slowly, still not looking up. "From an eight-year-old child who's father committed suicide right in front of his eyes. Who, after watching his father bleed to death in his arms, completely snapped and tried to kill a med-nin when she pulled him away from his father's lifeless corpse," he closed his eyes and swallowed before he continued.

"They couldn't keep him in the village where he might escape, even if they confined him, while they helped him. After all, he was a chunin and quite capable of hurting somebody in a fit of rage without even thinking about it. And, it can be much more difficult to subdue a child and not severely hurt them." He took another sip of tea and set the cup back down. "So, they brought him here, this very outpost in fact."

Iruka was staring at him, the dark brown eyes wide in astonishment. "Eventually, he recovered and even became quite an amazing shinobi, if I say so myself." Kakashi smiled, trying to ease some of the tension.

"And, according to his sensei and Jiraiya, during his little fit of attacking a certain rather well endowed med-nin, the completely /innocent/ child ripped open her shirt. They were quite appreciative, although they also attest that she was on the verge of killing the poor innocent boy, despite the situation." Kakashi smirked and watched the blush that slid across Iruka's face as he realized exactly who the med-nin must have been. "And, on the one occasion the boy asked her about it, you know, to apologize, of course, she turned an interesting shade of red and swore it never happened."

Iruka shook his head and rolled his eyes slightly.

Kakashi pouted at the response. "I tell you my darkest secret and my greatest fear, Tsunade, and you roll your eyes at me. I think I deserve at least a smile!" The corner of Iruka's mouth turned up slightly.

Kakashi grinned. "That's more like it, but I think you can do better. After all, how many other people have fondled the hokage and lived to tell the tale?"

"Kakashi-sensei, I'm sorry but I just don't really feel like smiling right now." Iruka sighed and stirred his soup. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, really."

The silver-haired nin leaned forward and fixed a stern look on the teacher. "You're stronger than this."

"I am not. I don't know where you got that idea, but you're wrong," Iruka said, looking away again.

Kakashi reached out a hand and gently touched Iruka's chin, forcing the man to look at him. "Do you trust me?" The chunin hesitated but finally nodded. "Then believe me, you're stronger than even me. And, if I can survive, so can you." He released the brunette and leaned back and picked up his cup again. "When it comes to this kind of stuff, you're the strongest person I know."

"Kakashi-sensei?"

"Hn?" He raised an eyebrow and continued to sip his tea.

"Why are you doing this for me?" Iruka didn't look at him while he waited for his answer. Kakashi noted that the chunin rarely met his eyes, even when he was looking right at him.

"Iruka-sensei, I'll answer your question, if you'll answer mine." The dark-haired man looked up at him, surprised, quite possibly not expecting to actually get an answer. "You realize that, that's the first time you've met my eyes all morning? Why is that?"

Iruka averted his eyes again, but said nothing.

"Is it because I'm not wearing my mask, or is it simply that hard for you to look somebody who /knows/ in the eyes?"

"Forget I asked. It doesn't matter why you're doing this for me. It's just..." A small, somewhat forced smiled crossed the chunin's lips, finally softening. "Thank you."

Kakashi sighed and shook his head. "You have far more people who care about you than you realize[,] Iruka-sensei," he said, resting his hand on Iruka's for a moment before picking up his tea again.

------

Kakashi was somewhat relieved when he didn't have to carry Iruka to the bathhouse, although he did have to drag the blushing chunin along behind him. After he stripped, Iruka still hadn't moved to do so himself, so without ceremony Kakashi started to help him.

"I'm not... you don't have to... I... I can do it myself," Iruka said, shoving the copy-nin away weakly. The silver-haired nin nodded and began gathering the various bath things and settling them in easy reach of the edge of the hot spring before climbing in. Iruka followed him in but sat as far away as he could.

"Come here, Iruka-sensei. I'll wash your back. And, don't try to tell me you can do it yourself, just get over here." He tried to keep the amusement out of his voice, but some of it slipped through, despite his efforts. "You can wash mine in return." He watched as a deeper blush slid over the tanned features, and, when the man still didn't move from his corner, Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "I don't know why you're embarrassed. I did all this for you yesterday."

After another moment of hesitation, Iruka slid over and sat in front of Kakashi, then promptly buried his face in his hands. "Thank you." It was a barely audible whisper, but after a moment the chunin relaxed and dropped his hands.

Kakashi set the hair-tie beside the shampoo bottle and dragged his fingers though the soft brown hair. "You're hair is much nicer when it's washed." He poured the warm water over Iruka's hair.

"We can go back tomorrow, I'm fine now. I can take care of myself." He watched Iruka visibly droop, as though it was suddenly much harder to sit up.

He rinsed Iruka's hair, wondering what he should say. "You're free to go, Iruka, but I wouldn't advise it unless you really feel up to facing Naruto and Ibiki." He swallowed but managed to keep his hands moving, scrubbing Iruka's scalp.

That seemed to be the worst thing he could have said because the other broke down in tears, burying his face in his hands again. This time, however, it wasn't to hide his embarrassment but rather to scrub at the tears sliding down his cheeks.

Shaking his head at his own stupidity, Kakashi pulled Iruka against him and began rubbing his back with one hand. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm sorry for inconveniencing you so much, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka sniffled.

Kakashi sighed. "This isn't some mission I was assigned. I offered my assistance, so any inconvenience I took on by choice, and is therefore not an inconvenience." He kept his voice soothing but firm. He hugged the chunin closer and laid his cheek against the top of Iruka's head. "I'm sorry." He was sorry for bringing the names up, for hurting Iruka when his intentions had been to help.

"It's not like it's your fault." Iruka shifted but didn't move away.

He brushed his fingers through the soapy hair and pushed down the guilty feeling that whispered how nice it felt to just hold the other man. "I'm still sorry."

They sat there until Kakashi was worried they'd both be boiled, and then he scrubbed the chunin and himself down quickly before getting out and heading back to the house.