Reason I Breathe

Chapter3


Kiba was relaxing on Naruto’s bed as they did their homework early. It was Friday afternoon, and they had all weekend to hang out. As promised, Naruto’s father had left that morning on business, and Kiba had delivered the brownies to Naruto’s mom. She had smiled and thanked him with bandages on her arms and a cut on one cheek. Kiba had always known what happened at Naruto’s house. He had always assumed that that had been why Naruto had turned to smack their freshman year. He took a break from his calculus to watch his friend. The blonde was lying on his stomach on the floor. He had been sweating since they had arrived at his house. He was looking pale. Naruto had hidden his box before heading off to school. He was positive he could survive one weekend. With any luck, Kiba would be convinced we had quit when he went home Sunday night. Naruto could wait that long to score.

"K-Kiba. I think I’m gonna…," Naruto trailed off.

Kiba jumped up and helped get the boy on his feet and into the bathroom. Naruto was bent over hurling seconds later. His arms were shaking terribly as he held himself up on the edge of the toilet. Kiba knelt beside him rubbing his back.

‘I can’t count the times I’ve done this,’ Kiba thought to himself as he watched his best friend empty his stomach time and time again.

When Naruto was done, he fell into Kiba’s arms. Kiba stroked Naruto’s forehead as he held him. When Naruto signaled he was okay enough to move, they made their way back into his room. Kiba helped him get down some water and laid him on his bed.

"We’ll finish homework later," the brown-haired boy smiled.

Naruto laughed at the attempted joke. He closed his eyes to block out the pain. He was vaguely aware of Kiba humming his lullaby as the blonde managed to fall asleep. His dreams were filled with terrors; distorted from the withdrawals. Naruto woke screaming several times. He would get up and start mumbling, heading downstairs in a stupor before realizing that Kiba was holding him. He would then promptly throw himself into the waiting arms sobbing. Around noon the next day, the boys had somehow managed roughly eight hours of sleep, and had decided to give staying awake a try. Kiba helped his friend shower after once more emptying his stomach. As he watched Naruto undress, he noticed how thin the blonde had become. Naruto managed to get clean by himself, attaining a true smile once he had dressed himself. They half ran down the stairs to get some food an hour after waking. Kiba was talking loudly about some adventure he had had with Neji in gym. Naruto was smiling and chuckling occasionally.

"Well, afternoon boys," Naruto’s mom said.

"Morning Mom," Naruto mumbled.

"Good morning, Mrs. Uzumaki. How were my mom’s brownies?"

"Wonderful, Kiba. Tell her thank you when you go home."

"I will."

Naruto’s mom made them lunch. Naruto picked at his food. He was reluctant to throw up again. He got around it by saying he had eaten a lot in the middle of the night. His mom left them alone later to go out. Naruto set up a movie on the living room television. He settled to drink juice while Kiba dug into the snacks kept around for weekends like the one they had planned. Naruto stayed on the couch wrapped in a blanket. He was constantly shivering and breaking out into a sweat. Kiba babied his friend through the entire ordeal. He had seen Naruto "quit" several times. Each attempt was worse than the one before. They moved upstairs to play video games before Naruto’s mom returned. Kiba let Naruto win most of them.

"Ne, Kiba?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I can really do it this time," Naruto whispered.

"Me too, Naru."

Naruto leaned his head onto Kiba’s shoulder as he kept playing the fighting game. He was feeling dizzy.

"Don’t give up on me, Naru. I love you. You can’t keep killing yourself with that shit," Kiba said.

"I know."

Kiba sighed. He was not trusting of the boy at all. He could not really blame his friend for needing an outlet, he just prayed everyday that Naruto would find a better one.


~Monday~

Kiba sighed in relief when Naruto walked towards their friends Monday morning. He looked like shit, but the grin was there on his face. He sat down next to Sai weakly.

"What the hell happened to you?" Lee demanded.

"Sick?" Naruto offered.

"Don’t touch me then," Neji scoffed.

The group laughed. Naruto managed a smile. Sai wrapped his arm around Naruto’s shoulders and hugged him.

"You can give it to me, Naru-chan," he practically sang.

Kiba punched Sai in the back with a growl. Sai frowned back at him.

"Thought Naru-chan was available."

"Shut up. Just let him rest."

Naruto silently thanked both Sai and Kiba. His friends worked hard to keep his spirits up. He ran out of third period to retreat to a bathroom. He sat on the floor after throwing up, holding his knees to his chest. The bell rang several minutes later, and he picked himself up and went in search of his things.


~Two weeks later~

Naruto grinned widely as he dropped into the chair next to Neji. He cuddled the boy’s arm, earning the desired shock and struggle to get free. The boys who knew about Naruto’s "problem" were relieved. Naruto had been clean for two weeks and counting. He had never quite lasted that long before. He was truly happy again. His tan had slowly begun to return. He had steadily gained some of his weight back. Naruto somehow got every person eating lunch to agree to karaoke downtown after school. He was laughing again. That would probably be why they had agreed. Naruto ran home that afternoon. He would soon wish he had not.


****

Naruto was coughing up blood as he stumbled through the streets. He fell on his side as his hand reached for a wall and found only air. He had run home to a drunken father, and had paid dearly for protecting his mother. He knew his ribs had to be broken. He sported a black eye and a dislocated shoulder. His nose and lip were leaking blood. He had run from the house with his father on his heels in an attempt to free his mother. He assumed he had lost his father when he had gotten past their subdivision. Through the blur in his eyes, he noticed the alleyways were familiar. He kept going. He knew he was not going home that night. He bumped into something tall. When the eyes captured his own, fear worse than facing his father enveloped him.

"Been a long time Naruto," Pein hissed angrily.