Hunger

Disclaimer: 'Naruto' belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
Warnings: yaoi, INCEST, AU.
Pairings: At first KankuroxGaara but eventually GaaraxNaruto.
Note: Thoughts are in italics.

Chapter 3: Only a distraction

It was lunch break and Naruto was on the school yard, looking for one particular redhead. He hadn't seen him inside, so he came outside in hopes of seeing him. Gaara was sitting on a bench, looking at the distance. To Naruto, the sight was so lonely. The redhead didn't seem to have any friends to spend time with so he was always alone.

"Hi," the blond said cheerfully as he sat down onto the bench.

Silence was his only answer.

"Did you sleep well yesterday? Are you feeling any better?" Naruto asked. He had been worried about his newest friend.

Gaara recoiled at the topic. He quickly calmed himself, knowing that the blond would never find out about anything. No one would. It was just an ordinary topic, nothing else.

"I'm okay," the quiet redhead answered. He didn't want to encourage Naruto to ask more questions.

"I'm glad to hear that," the blond replied. He was smiling widely as he looked at the boy next to him.

A silence settled between them since Gaara didn't have the need to say anything in answer. For the blond though, the quietness was oppressive.

"So, what kind of music do you listen to?" Naruto asked, genuinely interested.

"Why do you care?" Gaara said, glaring at the blond.

"C'mon, that's not an answer. So, what do you like to listen to?" Naruto asked again.

Gaara sighed. Would it be so bad to give a proper answer? "I mostly likely rock but I listen to heavy metal, too. Sometimes I also find punk entertaining enough," the redhead spoke. It hadn't felt too bad giving so much personal information to the blond, now that he thought about it.

"I thought so," Naruto replied smiling. "I like rock, too, but more often I listen to pop," he continued. He wasn't too picky when it came to music. Whatever got him into a good mood was listenable enough for him.

Gaara gave Naruto a sideways glance. He didn't really appreciate hit music. It was repulsive in all its positiveness and cheerfulness. No, darker lyrics and heavier sounds were more appealing to him.

"Now ask me a question," Naruto said.

"Why?" came a simple reply.

"Because I asked you one. That's why," the blond explained.

"I don't want to know anything about you," the redhead answered none too friendly.

"Don't give me that attitude again!" Naruto exclaimed. Why was it so hard to make friends with the redhead? Why couldn't Gaara be more responsive? "This is how people get to know each other. Now ask me, anything."

Gaara pondered for a moment. What would he ask? He wondered what had happened to Naruto's deceased guardian, Iruka but it would be too rude for even him to ask. "Well... What's your favorite subject?" was all Gaara came up with. He didn't really care what the answer would be.

"Let's see... Umm, I guess P.E. is my favorite. I dislike pretty much everything else," the blond replied. He was too lively to concentrate on reading a book and math just wasn't his business.

"You see, it wasn't that hard, now was it? Making friends is really easy," Naruto spoke again, giving Gaara one of his genuine smiles.

"We're not gonna be friends. If you think anything else, you're delusional," Gaara told coldly. He had decided he wouldn't shoo the blond away anymore but wasn't going make friends with him, either. It would take too much energy to keep the stubborn boy at bay.

Naruto was taken aback by the harsh comment. He recovered from it soon though, because in his unruly mind a mocking voice already echoed, Maybe not friends, but something more? Hmm...?

"Er... So, what do you usually do in your free time?" Naruto asked quickly.

He didn't want to dwell in those particular thoughts right now, not when Gaara was present. Besides, what were the chances that the redhead would return his feelings? That's right, the chances were very slim. He had decided that he might be a bit appealed to Gaara, but nothing else. Even though he had had a few dreams about the boy and had occasionally spent a couple of hours thinking about him constantly, it meant nothing. Right?

The jade eyes narrowed slightly. This was a question Gaara had to answer carefully, without leaving any loopholes which could lead into further questions. After a quick consideration, he thought it would be safe to give a proper answer.

"I listen to music and study. And I often draw and paint, too." He carefully left out the fact that he spent quite an amount of time with his brother.

"I do pretty much the same. I like to play video games and watch TV when I'm bored," Naruto replied casually. After a brief pause, he felt confident enough to ask, "Would you like to hang around with me some day?"

Again, the green eyes narrowed. Gaara still wasn't sure if this all was only a joke. Was the blond serious? Why would Naruto want to be around him in his freetime? The blond had other friends, didn't he? He didn't know this boy so well, after all. What if he would get into trouble?

"I'm not interested," came a harsh reply. Better safe than sorry.

"Are you sure? We live so near each other, it would be easy. And I'd really like to get to know you better," Naruto said, hoping he didn't sound too desperate. The thing was, the empty and lonely atmosphere in his home was haunting him. It was boring to be alone.

"No. Don't you have your friends to bother?" Gaara snapped. He didn't like arguing after he had made his point clear.

"They live so far away. And they are often busy," Naruto said, sounding a bit too sad for his own liking. He didn't want pity, not from Gaara.

"That's not any of my concern," the redhead said coldly. It wasn't his responsibility to hang around with the blond.

"I know. But you know Gaara, I already consider you my friend, even though you deny it," Naruto confessed, smiling feebly. He didn't care if the redhead didn't feel the same. He had already got attached to him and couldn't think of him as a stranger anymore.

"You're a fool."

"I hear that a lot," Naruto said, grinning jovially.

The bell rang and the lunch break was over. For Naruto, it had felt like an eternity. A good eternity, that is. He was a bit concerned that Kiba would be upset that he had chosen to spend time with Gaara. The brown haired boy had plenty of other friends than Naruto, so Kiba would hardly have to be alone. Kiba had been acting weird lately and Naruto couldn't quite catch what for. He had often caught the brown haired boy staring at him and when their eyes had met, Kiba had quickly looked away. It was weird.

-----

The rhythm of the music caressed Gaara's ears. He felt like drowning into the sweet depths of the sounds as he laid on his bed in the cellar, listening to one of his favorite bands. The music relaxed him and made it easier to think. He had a lot to think about but most of the time, he preferred shutting his thoughts out. Pointless dwelling in the past only made matters worse, not the other way around.

Kankuro's mental state only worsened as time passed by. Why couldn't his brother seek help? It would be much better to talk the problems out than bottle them up - in the end, those suppressed feelings only exploded and it was always Gaara who had to suffer the consequences.

It made him sad to see that the familiar marks had been ornamenting Kankuro's arms again, now that the old wounds had healed. That wasn't a healthy way to deal with one's feelings of guilt. It was always about regret, Gaara knew it. He had told his brother that he shouldn't feel guilty about things that were in the past, things that weren't his fault. Kankuro never got convinced. Gaara felt so helpless. Was there really nothing he could do?

As the track changed, Gaara's thoughts drifted into other topics. Why did Naruto consider him as a friend already? He hadn't acted friendly at all towards the blond. Why the boy kept on showing him attention, Gaara didn't know. It was strange. Some people had tried to get to know him before but in the end, they had all left. No one had ever wanted to be his friend.

Yet no one had ever approached him like Naruto. Maybe the blond wasn't a total nuisance after all. Because of the boy, Gaara had now something else to think about than the usual depressing things that went round and round in his mind. Yes, the blond offered him a distraction. But he's just a distraction, nothing else, Gaara added as an afterthought. He wondered if Naruto would come to talk to him again tomorrow...

-----

Days passed and whenever his schedule allowed, Naruto walked to school with Gaara. The redhead hadn't threatened or harmed him again, fortunately. Still, Gaara seemed to have bad days when he was quieter and grumpier than usual.

Not everyone was approving the fact that Naruto suddenly seemed to take interest in Gaara.

Kiba was worried about Naruto, trying to speak him out of befriending the weirdo. The blond couldn't understand his attitude - why would making new friends be so bad? Was Kiba really that prejudiced when it came to unpopular people? He didn't seem to be before... Naruto didn't notice it but a hint of jealousy crossed Kiba's eyes every time at the mention of the redhead.

Neji was wary of Naruto's sudden interest in the school's outcast. He had warned Naruto about ending up as unpopular as the redhead but the blond had only shrugged. Naruto didn't care about strangers' opinions as long as he had his friends around him.

Shikamaru, on the other hand, was too lazy to care about the situation. He thought it was none of his concern who Naruto spent time with. He occasionally hung around with Gaara and Naruto, discussing about school and things in general.

Some days the three of them even ate lunch together. Gaara got along with Shikamaru, appreciating the brown haired boy's total lack of interest when it came to other people's business. This, in practise, meant that quiet as usual, the redhead didn't speak a word but wasn't totally annoyed about Shikamaru's presence, either.

People quickly labeled Naruto an outcast again. Even some unfamiliar students seemed to have a need to express their disapproval of what was going on. Sometimes when the two boys walked down the corridor some students shouted after them things like 'You used to be cool, Naruto' or 'Go away, freaks.'

Some students were even spreading rumours about the two boys. The worst gossip-mongers dared to go as far as claiming they were lovers. That particular rumour always caused Naruto to blush violently, grabbing Gaara's arm and taking him out of earshot. To the redhead the rumours were irrelevant. Be there Naruto or not, he was already putting up with people's prejudices on a daily basis. Only Naruto seemed to be somewhat disturbed by what people were gossiping.

-----

"It was such a nice day at work today. The café was crowded but there were no annoying customers. How was your day?" Kankuro asked, sipping his tea.

Gaara glanced at him, then looked back at the steaming cup in front of him. It wasn't surprising to him that his brother was enjoying his job. The brunette had always been quite extroverted anyway. Gaara knew it was just a mask though, like indifference was to himself. He wondered if Naruto was the same. Did the blond use happiness and friendliness as a mask, protecting him from sad feelings? It certainly looked like that because sometimes Naruto's smile didn't quite reach his eyes - it seemed forced more than anything.

"Um... Did you hear me, Gaara?"

The redhead looked at his brother again. He hadn't really been listening.

"You've been zoning out a lot lately. Is there something wrong?" Kankuro asked in a concerned voice.

This time he got a reply. "No."

"Wow, you seem to be pretty talkative today," the brunette teased. He was used to the fact that some days his little brother was more unsocial than normally. That's why he wasn't surprised when Gaara didn't grace him with another answer but stood up and left the kitchen.

In the cellar, Gaara took up his books and started to study. He had some lectures together with Naruto. Lately, the blond had taken the liberty to sit with him in the classes they shared. Gaara didn't mind it, as long as the boy kept his mouth shut and didn't disturb his studying.

Naruto wasn't very good at school. He seemed to zone out every now and then and when he didn't do that, he was doodling something on the corner of the paper. No wonder if he got poor grades. Like Gaara, Naruto wasn't in the teachers' good graces either. Whenever the boys sat together, the teachers seemed to give extra glares at them, as if assuming they would do something worth giving a detention.

Knock knock.

The cellar door was being rapped. What did Kankuro want now? Gaara climbed up the stairs and opened the door slightly.

"What?" he asked in an annoyed voice.

"Do you need any help with your homework? I could help you if you want," Kankuro offered. He liked helping Gaara, it made him feel needed. Besides, that way he could see that the redhead didn't skip any important school tasks.

"No. I've already done them," Gaara told, about to close the door.

"Gaara?"

The redhead didn't push the door close but didn't open it more, either. "What?" he snapped. As long as there was an almost closed cellar door between him and Kankuro, he could afford that kind of harsh tone.

Kankuro was silent for a moment, as if searching for the right words. "Are you really okay? Has something happened?" the brunette asked, worry clear in his voice. He was sure something was occupying Gaara's mind and was curious about what it was.

"I'm just tired, that's all," Gaara quickly answered. He wasn't tired at all but he wanted to get rid of Kankuro. He didn't know what had roused the brunette's interest - he thought he had been acting perfectly normal these past few days.

"Alright. But you can talk to me anytime okay?" Kankuro said, leaning his hand on the cellar door and opening it slightly. He wanted to see his little brother's face - that way he would know if the redhead lied.

Gaara recoiled as he felt the door being pushed open a little. He was pretty sure Kankuro was only bothering him because the brunette had nothing better to do. It unnerved Gaara. He wanted to be alone. The door was pushed a little more open again, even though he tried to keep it only ajar.

"I know," he quickly replied and slammed the door shut, knowing that Kankuro would never come to the cellar, not even if the brunette's life depended on it.

Gaara turned the lights off and crawled onto his bed, putting on the blanket. It was chilly and jet black in the windowless cellar. He couldn't hear a sound but his own breathing. The cellar was underground and the door was thick - no sounds could be easily heard from there to the other rooms of the house.

In other words, it was a perfect place to be in peace. That was just what Gaara needed.

-----

The school had just ended for the day and students were thronging out of the building. Near the school gates, Naruto saw a glimpse of red hair.

"Hey, wait Gaara!" Naruto shouted, running to catch the redhead.

Gaara turned around to see who had called him. Noticing it was the same blond who had eagerly tried to befriend him in the past two weeks, he averted his gaze and turned to leave.

"Wait!" Naruto yelled again.

The said redhead made no attempt to stop but didn't quicken his pace, either. He wouldn't say he was accustomed to being in Naruto's company, he just didn't feel like using all his energy to shoo the boy away. It wasn't like they were friends or anything, even though the blond seemed to live in that kind of delusion.

"You could've waited, you know?" Naruto panted as he finally got to Gaara. "It's not nice to make people run, especially your friends."

"Who said you had to run? You could've just stayed behind, like the rest of the people. Besides, were are not friends," Gaara retorted. After Naruto had escorted him home about two weeks ago he couldn't act too harshly anymore - it just didn't feel right to do so.

"But then I'd have to walk home alone, and you too," Naruto said, ignoring the tense tone in the other boy's reply. Some days he had almost lost hope and thought it would be impossible to get close to the redhead. Gaara just appeared to be in no need of anyone's kindness. It hurt Naruto, for he knew everyone needed caring.

"I don't mind walking alone," Gaara said, really meaning it. He checked his cell phone to look what time it was. Still 15 more minutes till he'd be home.

"I do! And I know you like to hang around with me, too. If you didn't, you would have pushed me away already," Naruto pointed out, hoping to change the topic soon.

"It would be better if you just left me be," Gaara told the blond. He was well aware that he had voluntarily spent time with Naruto and Shikamaru. To his horror, he had actually enjoyed it. But only a little, he added quickly to himself.

He didn't like the thoughts the blond boy awakened in him. Naruto's smiles and happiness seemed to ease the pain in his chest and it made him feel insecure. Gaara was accustomed to cautiousness and loneliness - the sudden change in that was scaring him. It was like Naruto's light-heartedness was rubbing off on him, too.

Every now and then, the redhead almost forgot his family life in the blue eyed boy's company. In some of his 'delusional' moments, as Gaara liked to call them, he was having second thoughts about the blond - maybe it wasn't totally useless to let the boy spend time with him. Despite all, Gaara didn't let himself get attached to the boy, even though he secretly enjoyed having other company than his brother's. But that was a fact he was not going to tell the blond, ever.

Naruto ignored Gaara's biting comment and decided to change the topic. "What are you gonna do this weekend?" he asked.

He hoped he could spend time with the redhead. The loneliness Naruto felt at home was agonizing. At weekends it was even worse when he had no school to distract himself with.

"Nothing, I guess," Gaara mumbled.

In reality, he had his homework and some school projects to do, even though they weren't to be handed back until next month. Some of his paintings were still unfinished and he was looking forward to finish them. Of course, Gaara didn't bother telling any of this to the blond, for he liked to keep even the trivialest of things to himself.

"Great! I guess we could hang around, then?" Naruto exclaimed happily. He had summoned all his courage to ask that question, again. Hopefully the redhead wouldn't turn him down.

The wide, warm smile was back on Naruto's face as he looked at Gaara. The blond looked so joyous that the redhead didn't have the heart to outright refuse. What was happening to him? He had spent two weeks in Naruto's company and he had already become softer. Damned blond, the redhead thought.

"Whatever," Gaara murmured. He hated himself for not wanting to upset the blond boy.

He was unable to understand why the blond boy wanted to hang around with him. He had never seen anyone become so happy at the thought of spending time with him.

"See you then!" Naruto shouted kindly before departing to his own house.

Gaara merely nodded, continuing to walk home. Why had he agreed? Now he had to hang around with the boy, not matter if he wanted it or not. Maybe Naruto would finally see that it wasn't fun being around him - would the blond leave him be after that? Well... It's worth trying, Gaara thought. That's what had always happened before, so why would Naruto be any different?

To be continued...

A/N: This chapter was pretty much about Gaara's thoughts and his interaction with Naruto. That is reasonable because the next chapter will be more Kankuro and Gaara centric, if you know what I mean.