The Trust 'Verse, Part I - Return

The Trust 'Verse - Part I

Return

Chapter III

†

Sai looked up with sharp eyes as Sasuke walked into the kitchen where Sai was helping Sakura to decorate the birthday cake. He was partial to design, no matter what form it came in.

He quickly took in the state of things, noting in particular how the Uchiha’s fists were clenched white. If he concentrated hard enough he could even see the tiniest tremor of muscles under skin.

A quick glance to his right confirmed that Sakura had stiffened in response to the heightened tension in the room.

Sai cocked his head, straining to see whether he could hear Naruto. All he picked up on was silence. Even the sounds of Toshirou and Furiko in the room next door seemed oddly subdued all of a sudden.

With shinobi speed, Sai finished off the task he’d been set, barely sparing the married couple a glance as he headed outside to check up on Naruto.

He could feel Sasuke’s eyes burning into the back of his head as he headed out. He ignored the sensation; he had more important things to worry about. Such as whether or not Naruto was even still breathing.

Sai remembered all too well how it had been to start off with, when they had first left the village together. Most of the time Naruto was fine. Most of the time, though, didn’t count for all of the time, which meant that, rare though it may have been, on occasion Naruto wasn’t fine, at all.

For all Sai’s understanding of psychological disorders and stress-induced syndromes, Sai soon discovered that Naruto had some of the weirdest triggers. It was probably due to his equally odd thought processes.

In truth, Sai considered Naruto to be somewhat of a genius. The way he thought was unlike anything Sai had ever encountered. It had both amazed and fascinated Sai when Naruto had first started opening up to him, letting him in to see more of just who exactly Uzumaki Naruto was.

At its worse, Sai had seen Naruto collapse, asphyxiating due to a full-blown panic attack. Fatigue, exhaustion, dehydration and a whole variety of other factors probably hadn’t helped with Naruto’s stress levels at the time.

Sai couldn’t help but wonder if seeing Sasuke after all this time was a factor in and of itself capable of causing such a reaction.

Moving swiftly, but in such a way that it wouldn’t make it seem as if he were in a rush, Sai reached the porch. Good thing for him, quick in ninja time was practically no time at all.

Satisfied that Naruto was okay, despite the slightly pale hue of his features, Sai felt a part of him he hadn’t known was tense relax. Evidently he’d been subject to the same pressure that had built in the room as soon as the Uchiha had entered earlier.

Sai watched as Naruto spoke with the eldest Uchiha child, gesticulating wildly, but nevertheless speaking softly enough that unless Sai decided to use chakra to enhance his hearing he was none the wiser to what was actually being said.

He guessed it might’ve had something to do with weapons, the inflection of Naruto’s wrist, the positioning of his fingers, both seemed to indicate he was holding a kunai, even though he had nothing in his grasp. Sai noted the wide-eyed adoration Naruto seemed to have earned himself from the kid that was apparently a mini-Itachi in the making.

If it had been any other child, they probably would’ve already been glomping his lover. The reticent adult-child though was doing nothing of the sort, and yet somehow Sai felt as if he were closer to Naruto in this moment than perhaps anyone else barring himself had ever gotten. Including Uchiha Sasuke.

It was nice to see Naruto smiling, though, and properly, at that. Not the fake smile he wore in public, but the real one that normally only Sai was privy to. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of the twinge of jealously that pricked at him then.

Mentally shaking himself, Sai decided not to interrupt Naruto’s fun. After all, come tonight, he’d be able to have Naruto all to himself. Sai wasn’t particularly good with crowds. Hell, before Naruto, he hadn’t been any good with company at all.

He had to admit that that hadn’t really changed. All it meant was that Naruto had become the exception to his rule.

But Sai was more than happy to live with that.

†

People had started arriving not too soon after, meaning that unless Sasuke wanted to completely wreck his son’s birthday party he would have to wait until everyone had left before talking to Sakura.

Sasuke wasn’t sure whether he was hoping that his rage would cool down a bit in the meantime, or whether he wanted it to keep burning inside him.

He somehow managed to put it aside, if only to concentrate on greeting guests and being, at the very least, a civil host.

If he avoided both his wife and his former best friend, he refused to dwell on the fact for the moment. If he still managed to sneak glances Naruto’s way in the meantime, so long as no one called him on it, then it would be fine.

The feeling of being a stranger in his own home had returned fourfold. Perhaps it was the fact that most of the social activity seemed to flourish around Naruto, what with people, friends of theirs from the other genin teams back in the day, all rushing to welcome him home. Most of them also enquired about his health, his life in general and his plans for the future.

If Sasuke stealthily positioned himself so that he could eavesdrop on these conversations, well, it was his house and therefore his right to do so. Or so he told himself.

Another reason why a lot of guests seemed to gravitate in Naruto’s direction could have been that Iwa, the birthday boy, was perched on a seat next to where Naruto stood, placing his head at shoulder level with the not too tall, not too short, wearing-all-black blond.

It was possibly an inappropriately sombre mode of dress to have donned for a five year old’s birthday, but Iwa didn’t seem to mind. Nor anyone else for that matter. Sai, Sasuke noted, was almost identically dressed.

And that was another thing Sasuke had noticed. Almost the entire time, Sai hadn’t left Naruto’s side. In fact, he stood closer to Naruto than Sasuke could ever recall seeing anyone stand, given the non-life-threatening circumstances. Himself, included. In a hostile situation, proximity was a completely different matter, but here in the safety of their home town, inside private property, with only people they knew to be loyal, the closeness couldn’t be begged off in terms of safeguarding.

Sasuke felt his eyes narrow as he realized that in all reality Sasuke’s position as ‘best friend’ had likely been filled by Sai. But as he’d come to realize earlier, it wasn’t as if Sasuke had any right to complain about this fact, because, after all, he had no one to blame but himself.

Taking sips from his rapidly cooling tea as he remained obscured from view, but at the same time perfectly positioned to see, Sasuke watched as the crowd milling about Naruto seemed to disperse, leaving Naruto, Sai and Iwa standing on their own.

While his son’s attention was similarly called away to answer some question Sakura had called from the doorway leading into the dining room, Sai poked Naruto in the side.

Sasuke blinked, as Sai didn’t withdraw his touch, instead letting his finger rest there for a moment before slowly stroking down to Naruto’s hip, sliding backwards momentarily out of sight and then finally away. The hand calmly retracted as if the caress hadn’t happened at all.

And really, it had been a caress. And a familiar one at that, as if the path that Sai’s finger had taken, was one it took on a regular basis. One that Naruto apparently allowed.

Sasuke felt his eyes widen as he saw Naruto shoot a smouldering look at Sai. The smirk that flashed across Sai’s normally blank expression did nothing but verify the sudden epiphany that had bolted across his mind – it seemed as if Sai had not only replaced Sasuke as Naruto’s best friend, he’d also given Naruto what he’d sought from Sasuke. The very thing that Sasuke hadn’t even known Naruto had desired. Until today, until now.

The moment passed, and Sai’s blank expression was back in place, while Naruto’s own expression had cooled down to simple warmth, instead of the burning heat that had flared only seconds before.

Iwa was tugging at the corner of Naruto’s sleeve now. Naruto, as if he wasn’t filled with the need to jump Sai’s bones, just leaned in to listen to whatever it was that his son had to say.

Sai watched on in silence, his mask firmly fixed in place. From what Sasuke could tell, Sai had been silent the entire time he’d been here, and quite possibly intended to remain so for the duration of their stay.

Straining to listen in, Sasuke caught the words, leave, soon, and Naruto-san fall from Iwa’s lips, Iwa’s expression almost pleading as he tilted his head back to gaze up at Naruto.

Naruto was smiling crookedly at his son. Unlike Iwa, however, Naruto’s voice carried crisp and clear to where Sasuke was hiding.

“Sorry, chibi,” Naruto was apologizing, and… sincerely, at that. “But Sai and I have got to go. Especially since we have no idea what Tsunade-sama will be expecting us to do come tomorrow.”

Sasuke was surprised by the respectful title Naruto had used to talk about ‘Tsunade-baba’ – as he usually would have put it. And wondered if it wasn’t to do with setting good examples – which seemed so out of place coming from Naruto… but Sasuke had to remind himself that, as he’d seen, a lot could change in six years.

As it were, Iwa spared Sai a momentary glance, a look of displeasure flashing across his features as he did so, before his attention returned completely to Naruto. And it so often seemed to do.

“You’re not going to leave without saying goodbye, though, right?” Iwa demanded, his tone grave and his eyes earnest.

“You have my word,” Naruto promised, and Sasuke could easily see that he meant it. Then again, anyone who knew Naruto, would have been able to see that, it was a part of who he was – if Naruto made a promise, he would move heaven and hell to see that he kept it, or he would die trying.

Sasuke, perhaps best of all, understood this fact.

Sasuke felt his heart ache at his son’s question and Naruto’s response. Apparently, even at the age of five, Iwa knew what to do to save himself from the pain his father had already experienced.

And maybe, just maybe, Sasuke had time still to learn.

†

It was around midday that Naruto made his escape. Sai was waiting outside for him, leaning nonchalantly against a tree, as he so often did. Naruto sometimes wondered whether Sai simply found trees more comfortable to lean against than walls, seeing as even when there were many walls to choose from, Sai always seemed to gravitate towards the trees. They didn’t really feel all that much different to Naruto…

“So, is it safe to presume that we’re not staying long?” Sai interrupted as soon as Naruto drew near.

Glancing about, Naruto saw that the side alley they were now standing in was devoid of people.

Naruto inhaled a deep breath, before exhaling slowly. “Yeah… There’s no need to be here until they’re willing to induct me. The work we’ve been doing has gone a long way in helping them believe I’m not a danger to the village. Plus, I probably won’t be sworn in for some time, even though they’re obviously coming around. So we’ve got time. I figure I should probably use it to polish up a bit more.”

“And wanting to leave even though we’ve only just gotten back has nothing to do with seeing Sasuke again?”

“No!” Naruto snapped. “Yes. Maybe.”

“Very definitive,” Sai pointed out, helpfully.

“Can this wait until we’re home?” Naruto pleaded. “I just really feel like lying down…”

Sai stared at him for a long moment, before jerking his head slightly in the direction of the apartment they were currently staying in.

It was a short trip. They got there in minutes. Opening the door, Naruto slipped inside, with Sai on his tail. Not pausing to stop and close the door, or take off his shoes, Naruto headed straight for the bedroom, collapsing onto the bed as soon as he got there.

“I couldn’t have possibly worn you out this morning,” Sai remarked, as he reached for Naruto’s shoes, pulling them off with ease.

“Yuudmnd,” came Naruto’s muffled reply.

“I know I didn’t,” Sai reiterated, “which means,” he paused as if for effect, “you’re sulking.”

Naruto rolled over enough to glare over his shoulder, from his belly-down position atop the covers. “I’m not sulking,” Naruto whined. “There’s nothing to sulk about.”

“Yes, because Sasuke is always nothing,” Sai explained with his inescapable Sai logic.

It was true though, as soon as Naruto said there was ‘nothing’ wrong, it meant that he was thinking about Sasuke, or something Sasuke-related. Just like ‘I’m fine’ really meant ‘there’s no way I’m gonna let this stop me!’ in Naruto-go.

Naruto grunted as Sai sprawled on top of him spontaneously.

“You’re not as light as you look,” Naruto wheezed.

“I’m sure you can stand the pressure.”

Naruto harrumphed, even as he felt his body start to relax beneath the steady weight and warmth of Sai’s. The physical contact somehow always managed to calm him best. Probably because people didn’t bother to lie with touch. Not when it was far easier to lie with words. Naruto always considered there to be something intimate, and something honest, about touch. It was probably why before Sai, Naruto very rarely touched anyone… Even himself if he could help it. Because when Naruto touched himself, even in the most innocuous ways, he could feel himself connect. To kyuubi.

Of course, he hadn’t always known that that was what it was. But that didn’t change the fact that, for as long as Naruto could remember, kyuubi’s presence had been there. It was this, in turn, that caused Naruto to fear others’ touch – in case they felt it, too… the malefic taint inside him.

That his friends and the people he considered family knew what he was and accepted him nevertheless had been one of the first of many steps that had begun the process of learning to trust. It was not something that Naruto did easily or lightly, in spite of appearances to the contrary. In all actuality, Naruto found it easier to have faith, than trust. To have faith required no knowledge; it could be blind and thus easily misplaced. By this rationale, faith betrayed, Naruto thought, was easier to forgive than trust betrayed. Because to him, trust meant knowing and understanding, being wide-awake to the truth, but still believing.

Trust, though, was reciprocal. People don’t trust unless they are trusted in return. Faith, on the other hand, rested solely upon the one who dared to believe.

“I trust you,” Naruto declared suddenly, arching his neck to try and look over his shoulder and into Sai’s eyes.

“I wouldn’t be here, if you didn’t,” Sai responded calmly, before adding, having caught the expectant look Naruto threw him, “And naturally, I, you.”

Satisfied, Naruto closed his eyes and allowed sleep to take over, safe in the knowledge that there wasn’t anywhere else he’d rather be than here, with the one person he trusted most.

Here, with the one person that he, dare he say it, loved most…

†

Sasuke didn’t say a word to Sakura as he stalked upstairs. All the guests were gone, but there was still some minor tidying up to do that remained to done.

Collecting cups and plates, cutlery and napkins, Sakura glided effortlessly about her house. She could feel it in her bones, that this was the quiet before the storm.

There was no point putting off the inevitable, but first there was one thing she needed to do and that was sort out the presents.

It didn’t take all that long. Mainly it involved dividing them all into piles of things that Iwa would enjoy, things that he wouldn’t, and things that were potentially inappropriate for him – being either too immature or way too far beyond what she would consider giving a five year old, no matter his intellect.

When she was done, there was only one set of gifts yet to be placed. Since technically, it was a gift for all of her kids. The one that Naruto had brought. The three teddy bears, insanely expensive ones at that, all of beautiful quality and practical size – just big enough to be cuddled, but small enough for even Furiko to mobilize.

Seeing as it was Iwa’s birthday, Sakura thought it only fair that he get to decide which he wanted. Though she was sure he wouldn’t be choosing the Medic-nin, especially as that was the one Furiko would have wanted.

She sat them down on the floor in front of her, instructing her children to sit as well. They did, all easily assuming a seiza position on the tatami.

“Iwa,” Sakura bid, “which one did you want?”

Sakura could see Toshirou anxiously glancing at the ANBU Captain, apparently anticipating Iwa’s choice. The thought that Iwa had similar aspirations to Itachi worried her slightly. Probably not as much as it did Sasuke, though.

Iwa glanced between the bears, before looking away from them to catch Sakura’s eyes. Once he’d established eye contact, he half-questioned, half-stated, “Naruto-san wants to become Hokage, doesn’t he?”

Sakura opened her mouth, in surprise. That wasn’t what she had expected him to ask. Though whether there was anything specific that she had thought he would, she really didn’t know.

“Yes,” she finally answered. “He does. Why do you ask?”

“…I want the Hokage one.”

Sakura stared for a moment, at his unexpected choice. She felt herself nod dumbly as she agreed to his request, hesitantly picking the Hokage teddy bear up to hand to Iwa, waiting to see whether he would change his mind at the last moment and ask to be given the ANBU Captain instead. Sakura watched in wonder as Iwa carefully took the bear from her, and hugged it close, a small smile of contentment playing upon his lips.

Toshirou squealed in delight at this turn of events, loudly proclaiming, “The ANBU Captain’s mine, then!”

“Un,” Iwa confirmed, the Hokage now tucked neatly against his chest, held there with one arm.

Toshirou for his part, grabbed his bear by the leg, and jumped up and down in excitement, yanking the poor thing this way and that as he did so.

Furiko was slightly more sedate in her appropriation of the toy, but no less pleased. Holding onto its arms she spun in a small circle, giggling happily.

Still, it was the sight of Iwa and the simple joy that made his normally cold gaze seem bright, that drew her eye.

That and the lack of derision the present had met, when he’d already told her, scant minutes earlier, to put at least half a dozen other soft toys into the not suitable pile, because, as he claimed, he had no desire to play with such things.

Rokudaime, as Iwa informed her his bear was called, was somehow special.

It didn’t take a genius to know why.

†

Sasuke paced in one of the spare rooms, as he waited for Sakura to put Furiko and Toshirou down for their afternoon naps. Iwa stayed in Toshirou’s room while he slept, going over his kana and learning new kanji.

“Why did Naruto leave?” Sasuke questioned as soon as he felt Sakura enter the room.

When his question was met with silence, Sasuke spun to stare accusingly at his wife, “You know. You know why he left. Why he never looked back, why he hasn’t been back for years. Years, Sakura.”

She closed her eyes momentarily, before opening them to stare resolutely at him. “And now you know, too.”

“But why? Why didn’t he tell me?” Sasuke demanded in a quiet but insistent voice, trying hard to stay calm, when all he could feel was the anger rising inside him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because he asked me not to,” came the simple reply.

“And what? That’s it?” Sasuke asked, incredulous. They were talking about something that involved him directly and she was telling him that he had had no right to know?

“Yes, Sasuke. That's it. I didn’t tell you, because Naruto asked me not to. It was the least I could do…” She trailed off, looking distinctly unhappy. “It was the least I could do to respect his wishes.”

“But that’s not what you were going to say,” Sasuke accused, stepping close, and firmly taking hold of her shoulders. “All this time, you knew, and you never thought to do something about it?”

With a snarl, Sakura twisted out of his grasp, to turn away from him. “Yes! I knew, Sasuke. I’ve always known! But what would you have had me do? Go against the one thing he asked of me for himself? If I had told you, what difference would it have made?”

Her voice rising sharply, she turned to glare at him through tears. “I was the one who was stealing his dream away from him, Sasuke, he loved you so much but you could never see. You never thought to look. But still, he was happy for us! He still looked at me with love and affection, when he should have hated me, should have been jealous, should have ranted and raged that I got to have you, when he deserved you more!”

Sasuke stared at Sakura in shock, seeing her cry for the first time in years. Oh, he’d seen her cry in happiness, from joy and from laughter, but it had been so long since she’d cried real tears of sorrow. And his heart ached to see her do so now.

“The day he left, he hugged me and told me to take care of you, for him. That he didn’t belong, that he’d done everything in his power to make you happy, and that you would be happiest with me. It hurt, Sasuke,” she sobbed his name. “It hurt so much to let him go, to watch him leave the village that he loved, because he thought he might break if he had to be close to you, but unable to reach out and touch you. And because you might’ve hated him, had you known.”

“Hated him?” Sasuke echoed, bewildered by the thought. “How could I have hated him?”

Sakura sobbed harder as she replied, “Because… even when he gave you his friendship, you tore it to shreds. He,” she gasped in a shaky breath before continuing, “he didn’t think he could give you anything more and survive.”

“He thinks I would have hurt him because of how he felt?” Sasuke yelped, in disbelief.

The silence was damning.

“Is that what you thought, too?” Sasuke snarled, indignation warring with hurt and anger. “Even though I’ve never raised my hand in anger towards you. You think I’m capable of such brutality? I’m not my brother!”

“Tell that to Naruto,” Sakura retorted, before gasping and raising her hand to cover her mouth.

The silence this time was thick.

Swallowing, Sasuke croaked, “If he really thought that, then how could he have loved me?”

Sakura was shaking her head though, “I didn’t mean it like that. I didn’t. Naruto doesn’t think you’re like Itachi. He knows that you’d never do anything to hurt us…”

Once again, Sasuke was surprised to see how much silence he could read today. He heard it loud and clear, he knows that you’d never do anything to hurt us... but he didn’t believe that you wouldn’t hurt him.

“Wait,” Sasuke demanded suddenly. “You said you were stealing his dream.” Sasuke paused before asking uncertainly, “You want to be Hokage?”

“Kami-sama,” Sakura breathed, half laughing, half crying once more. “You idiot! You still don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?” Sasuke hissed, feeling angrier than he had in a long time. “His dream has always been to become Konoha’s number one ninja!”

“Becoming Hokage is nothing more than a means to an end,” Sakura exclaimed. “Tell me, Sasuke. What does being Hokage mean to you?”

Sasuke seethed, before answering shortly. “It means having control over the village.”

Sakura barked out a laugh, before scoffing, “Hardly! Since when can one single shinobi control an entire village of nin?”

She was right, Sasuke knew. But he still didn’t understand.

Sakura sighed, rubbing wearily at red eyes and pale, tear-streaked cheeks. “Being Hokage,” she carefully enunciated, voice still shaky and filled with tears, “means that you’re the one people look to when something bad happens. When there’s some crisis, you’re the one who the people turn to, the one they seek out with all their problems and all their grievances.”

“Which is precisely why I can’t see Naruto ever really enjoying the position, even if he did get it,” Sasuke snapped.

Sakura stared at him sadly for a moment before whispering, “Goes to show what you know about Naruto.”

Sasuke sucked in a breath as if he’d been slapped.

Sakura continued, heedless, “To each and everyone one of those people, no matter how simple, how petty, how stupid, we might consider their problems, the Hokage and the Hokage’s opinion count. To be Hokage isn’t about having control, it’s about having respect. It’s about being loved, and needed, and admired by the village over which one reigns. And that is what Naruto dreams of. You once told me that I knew nothing about loneliness, Sasuke. But the truth is… you only experienced loneliness. You’ve never lived it. Not like Naruto.”

“Oh, well then,” Sasuke sneered. “What with your complete lack of experience, how is it that you have come to know so much about the topic?”

Sakura looked at him grimly, “I love you, Sasuke. And I’ve done so for as long as I can remember. Don’t think that I wasn’t engulfed by it, nearly swallowed whole by it, when you left. And again when Naruto took off after you, and I was left behind.”

Sasuke stared at her, feeling the guilt encroach upon him once more, swiftly replacing the anger, “I—”

“Shh,” Sakura hushed. “I forgave you the second you came back. But that’s not the point. The entire time that you were gone, I shared Naruto’s loneliness. It became a part of me, and I started to really look at what I had previously taken for granted.”

“What?” Sasuke breathed, wondering just what it was that she’d seen. “What did you learn?”

They’d never really talked about this, all the stuff from the time before, it had been as if they’d simply started afresh, once he’d come back. But now Sasuke could see that that hadn’t been the case at all. All this stuff had lain buried between them all this time, waiting to be unearthed.

“I started to see beneath the masks. Layers upon fragile layers of complex, convoluted half-truths. I learnt that Naruto was possibly the most complicated individual I have ever met, and probably will ever meet for as long as I live.”

Sasuke watched, silently, as Sakura began to explain to him how things had changed between them while he’d been gone. How they had become real friends, and how Naruto had let her see some of who he really was. She confessed that she thought Naruto was the epitome of what it meant to be shinobi, he lived it, every single minute of every single day; he existed beneath the underneath.

“What of Sai?” Sasuke eventually queried.

Sakura blinked. “What about Sai?”

Sasuke shifted slightly, feeling slightly uncomfortable about telling her what he had noticed. The fact that he had noticed it at all was… mildly embarrassing, given that he was usually completely oblivious to such things – what it meant though, this time, was that for once he’d actually been paying attention.

“He and Naruto… they’re…”

“Together?” Sakura supplied.

Sasuke felt himself blush slightly, before muttering, “Yeah.”

“Does that bother you?” Sakura questioned, looking curious.

“No…” Sasuke replied, unsteadily. “You know I wouldn’t do anything to them, just because they’re… involved. It’s good that Naruto’s found happiness. I’ve always wished for that for him.”

“I know you have. But does he?”

Sasuke winced in response. “I… I guess not,” Sasuke finally concluded. “It’s not like we’ve, you know, talked…”

As if seeing that all the anger had been drained, leaving behind only weary uncertainty, Sakura moved in closer to wrap her arms about his waist in a gesture of both comfort and love. Leaning her head against his chest, she gently suggested, “Perhaps it’s time for you to earn back what you’ve lost. Now that you know…”

“You want me to make Naruto love me again?” Sasuke squeaked, confused, because Sakura couldn’t possibly be asking that he... with Naruto…

Sakura snorted. “No, you idiot. You already have me to love. Plus, I don’t think Sai would be very happy if you stole his lover from him.”

She kissed him softly, sweetly, as he wrapped his own arms around her shoulders, threading his fingers in her pink locks.

Sniffing once more, she pulled back, kissing him on the nose before informing him, “What you’re going to do is make friends again.”

Sasuke supposed that the very least he manage was to do as she said. After all, Sakura always knew best.

†

It was dark when Naruto woke up, feeling slightly chilled now that he was alone in bed. He could hear the whispers of Sai moving about in the kitchen. He’d always had preternatural hearing, most likely thanks to kyuubi. At times like this though, his heightened awareness of his surroundings always brought him comfort. Especially if he could sense Sai’s presence nearby, as he did now.

Smothering his moan in his pillows, Naruto stretched cat-like, pulling still-slumbering muscles taut in an effort to awaken them. Relaxing once more, and sinking further into the mattress, Naruto yawned widely.

“Do you plan to laze about all day?” Sai enquired dryly from the doorway.

Naruto hummed in response.

“I made you ramen.”

Naruto sat up so quickly his neck cracked with a resounding ‘pop,’ making him wince. He recovered just as quickly in order to gasp, “Ramen?”

Sai simply rolled his eyes at him, before walking back into the kitchen, assured in the knowledge that wherever there was ramen, Naruto was sure to follow.

And he did, first however stopping to clean his teeth, if only so that the taste would be that much fresher. After Ichiraku, Sai made the best ramen. If Naruto was honest with himself, it was actually part of the reason why he had asked Sai to join him on his mission in the first place.

Naruto felt his mouth twitch as he thought, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Apparently it was true enough in his case. In Sai’s case, however, Naruto had discovered that the way to Sai’s heart was through his mind, and… his body.

Then again, it was more or less the same for Naruto. They’d connected through touch far earlier than by any other means. Fighting side by side did that to you. And for six years, they’d done so, just the two of them, a team. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say, a partnership.

Sitting down by Sai at the table, murmuring, “Itadakimasu,” into the comfortable quiet, before eating his favourite food, it was all just so – normal, natural, wonderful – much like what Naruto had always thought really being home would feel like.

It was certainly giving him cause to rethink his perspectives on his and Sai’s relationship. Coming back, after all this time, finally facing that which he’d both loved most and been most scared of, namely Sasuke, and seeing both him and Sakura, together and happy, having built a life of their own, had actually felt pretty good - barring the distinct possibility that he and Sasuke might never be friends again.

But he was happy for them, really, truly happy for them and what they now had and Naruto didn’t think he would have felt that way if he hadn’t already moved on. He’d just never realized that he had. What he’d done was get stuck in the past, fixating, unhealthily, on his own angst and pain and heartbreak, which to some extent was a good way of protecting himself from more of the like. Only, unlike with Sasuke, things with Sai were good, really, really good. Maybe even ‘good’ of the forever kind.

“Do I dare ask what deep thoughts you’re thinking?”

“Huh?” Naruto answered, intelligently, before shaking his head to focus on Sai’s words, eventually deciphering their meaning as he slowly slurped on his noodles. “Oh. Uh, what makes you ask that?”

“Just that… you’re still on your first bowl,” Sai was looking at him as if he’d been replaced by some sort of pod person, which was fair enough, given that normally Naruto would have wolfed down at least three bowls by this stage.

“It,” Sai looked surprisingly unhappy at whatever it was he was thinking as he paused, his mouth turning down slightly at the edges the only indication of this – still, Naruto read it loud and clear – just as Sai continued, “does taste alright, doesn’t it?”

“What!” Naruto exploded. “Of course it does! Better than alright – the best! Okay, so maybe Ichiraku’s is better, but only because they specialize in the art of ramen-making!”

Sai looked at least mildly appeased by Naruto’s reassurances.

“Actually,” Naruto abruptly stopped, coughing as he choked on a noodle. Only after sculling down a large glass of water, did he go on to say, “I was… I was thinking about us.”

“Us?” Naruto was shocked at how surprised Sai sounded saying this. As if the whole concept was completely and utterly foreign to him, despite the fact that they—

What? That you sleep together? The voice inside him mocked. Plenty of people sleep together, and it doesn’t mean a thing.

Shut up, kyuubi, Naruto mentally snarled in response.

Still, it was enough that the next thing he knew, he was blurting, stricken, “I mean, there is an us, right?”

“Na—” Sai began to say, but Naruto hastily cut him off, starting to babble. Apparently nothing could ever go right for him, not at the heart of things, not when it concerned the heart, of all things. He was destined to remain unloved, forever.

“Of course, it’s okay if there isn’t! You don’t need to—I mean, it’s not like—it’s just that I—and you—but then again—I mean, we don’t—we’ve never—,” Naruto stopped to cover his eyes with a hand, before whispering, “Fuck.”

He jumped in surprise at the sensation of arms wrapping tightly around his shoulders from behind. He hadn’t even sensed Sai move. He felt himself relax into the familiarity of the hold; the familiarity of the feeling, of course, being the key.

I’m an idiot, Naruto thought to himself, wryly. Of course there was an ‘us.’

“You’re an idiot,” Sai said, lips pressed close to Naruto’s ear. “Of course there’s an us.”

Naruto laughed, just a little bit hoarsely, at that. Even in this, they were in sync.

“I was just surprised that you were thinking about ‘us,’ and about us being such,” these words were accompanied by a lick.

Naruto sighed in contentment at Sai’s words. He always cherished Sai’s words, because like his touches, they were always so honest and direct. Sai never lied to him, not even for his own good, like others would claim they had done.

Naruto decided that he really must be an idiot not to have realized that they had been life partners for at least four of the last six years they’d spent together.

He laughed again at this, now a little wetly. He found himself smiling through tears as Sai just held on that little bit tighter, like he always had.

And like, Naruto realized, his heart near bursting with warmth, and joy, and affection, he always would.

†

To Be Continued...