Despair; Sub Rosa

Author's note:
I just wanted to make a quick note: A lot of people seem to think that I'm basing this story off of the movie.
Again, I am not basing it on anything other than the events described in 'A night to remember' where the details of the sinking are portrayed as accurately as possible.
Certain situations may be slightly inspired by the movie, yes, but I am not trying to turn Jack and Rose's story in to Sasuke and Naruto's story.

It's free-standing, but with certain similarities. That's what I'd call it. :3

*********

3.Hide and Seek


The air up on deck was beginning to get chillier than what was comfortable.
"It's gonna be cold before the sun sets," Sasuke foresaw.
"Well yeah, we're in the middle of the Atlantic," Naruto replied matter-of-factly, nudging Sasuke in the ribs.
The Uchiha pulled away, as if he'd been burned.
"Sorry," Naruto mumbled, noting how it sounded just a little too hurt.
Sasuke shook his head, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

The blonde looked away, staring out at the open sea. He'd seen some dolphins shooting through the water in front of the bow the previous day. Without a care in the world they'd been leaping through the waves, not worrying one bit about the ship following behind them, as if it didn't even cross their mind that they might get hit, although they wouldn't - they were too graceful, too fast.
Too free.

He didn't see any now, no matter how much he squinted.
He did however, see something else.
Or rather, someone.
"Look," he said nodding towards the far end of the deck, "Your brother."
"Where?" Sasuke stirred.
"Over there," Naruto pointed.
"Crap," Sasuke cursed, "Let's go!"
"What?"
"Before he sees us,"
"Come on, you just missed church, it's not that big of a deal!"
Sasuke glared at him, opening his mouth to speak.

"Sasuke!"

The hairs in the back of his neck rose to the sound of his brother's voice.
"Damn it!"
Grabbing the blonde's hand without thinking, he whirled around, running down the deck, Naruto staggering along.
"S-sasuke! W-wait!" Naruto stuttered.
The Uchiha didn't let go of his hand, forcing Naruto to run to keep up with him.
The blonde turned his head around to see that Itachi was chasing after them.
"What the heck is going on?!" he demanded, "Have you lost your mind?!"
"No time to explain," Sasuke hissed, dragging him around a corner and through a door.
They almost crashed into a line of people in the dining room, Naruto frantically apologizing left and right, before they wound up in the hall outside.

The chase came to an abrupt halt.
Sasuke was breathing heavily, cautiously looking around.
Naruto jerked his hand free from the raven's grip.
"The hell Sasuke?"
"Ssh," Sasuke pressed a finger to his lips, indicating for the blonde to be quiet, "We haven't lost him yet."
"So what?" Naruto exclaimed.
"Shit!" Sasuke grit his teeth, spotting his brother striding through the dining room, "Move it!"
In one push he'd shoved the blonde out of the way, towards the wall and inside of the elevator that more or less just happened to be there.
The elevator was already pretty crowded; the lift man and several women standing in there already glaring at them with annoyance and resignation as they tumbled inside.

"Stand still," Sasuke ordered, pressing Naruto harder against the wall, as if wanting them to disappear inside of it.
His breath was hot on Naruto's cheek, and stray locks of ebony brushed against his forehead.
He could vaguely notice the faint scent of cologne, and when someone pushed them, he briefly felt Sasuke's muscular frame through his shirt as his arm was caught in-between them.

They could've been standing like that for minutes, or maybe just seconds, but when they left the elevator, Naruto felt dizzy.
He turned to Sasuke, awaiting an explanation.
"He probably hasn't given up," Sasuke mumbled, ignoring him completely.
"What?" Naruto snorted, "We're gonna hide from him or something?"
Sasuke nodded resolutely. "Yeah."
"Uh..." the blonde looked at his companion with disbelief, "Are you serious?"

Sasuke's reply came in the form of a hand around Naruto's wrist, as he begun dragging the blonde down the hall and towards the linen closets.
"In here," Sasuke ordered, opening a door and dragging him inside.

Stumbling inside, and nearly falling against a shelf of linens, Naruto turned accusingly to Sasuke;
"Are you mad?" he demanded, "Is it really that big of a deal that you skipped church and he saw you?"
"That's not it idiot!" Sasuke hissed quietly.
"Then what?"
There was no answer.
"And why do you drag me along anyway?" the blonde continued, "he's not my brother."
Sasuke still didn't say anything.
"Fine," Naruto crossed his arms over his chest.

Crushing silence reigned.
It was so utterly ridiculous, Naruto thought; here he was, stuck in a linen closet with this weirdo he didn't even like! Or...maybe he did like him, but Sasuke was anything but friendly. Interesting at the least, but not friendly.
And he didn't even know why he was standing here! If it hadn't been for the fact that Sasuke had seemed genuinely fearful when he spotted his brother, Naruto'd left long ago.
At least that's what he wanted to think.
Fidgeting slightly from the uncomfortable silence, he finally decided to say something again. A monologue would be better than total silence anyway.

"I don't think he likes me..."
"Who?" Sasuke asked, finally saying something.
"Your brother,"
"Itachi doesn't like anyone."
"Yeah well, I guess it runs in the family," Naruto attempted a joke. It fell through.
"He seemed like it though," he started over, "like he didn't like that we were hanging out... And I only asked him where your cabin was!"
Sasuke winced.
"You asked him that?"
"Why?"
"No...He's just...concerned." the raven said, without elaborating.
"That's weird," Naruto bit his lip, "What exactly happened with you in London?"

He hadn't meant to ask.
Instantly he bit his tongue, wishing he'd never said a word.
It was dark in the closet, but still light enough for them to see each other, and for Naruto to see Sasuke's face.
The expression that came over the other man was so pained and helpless.
It reminded him of a child that had gotten lost in a crowd or something, and it made Sasuke seem so vulnerable all of a sudden.

"Sorry." he mumbled. "You don't have to answer that."

Naturally Sasuke didn't.
He wouldn't have anyway.

A creak from the door and a small cone of light emerging from the doorway had them both wincing as the door slid open and a startled maid stared straight at them.
"Oh my!" she exclaimed, clasping her hand over her mouth.
"Err...hi..." Naruto stumbled over his words.
"T-this is a restricted area...no passengers allowed!" she stuttered, trying to sound stern, but the surprise of finding two men in a linen closet was too much for her to sound believable.
"Hide and seek!" Naruto continued, "We were challenged by some kids...Didn't you see them? They're searching for us high and low!"
"It's still against regulations." she said.
"I'm sorry," Naruto grinned sheepishly, "They probably won't find us anyway...Come on,"
He took Sasuke by the hand, pulling him out into the corridor.
The maid blushed as Sasuke spared her a glance, but tried to keep up her stern appearance.


"Hide and seek?" Sasuke frowned, "Why would two grown men be playing hide and seek in the linen closet of a ship?!"
"I don't know?" Naruto shrugged, "But it worked."
"I guess it did..." Sasuke said, looking away.

His brother seemed to have lost the trail of them, at least he was nowhere to be seen.
A wave of relief washed over him, only to be replaced just as soon with dread when he noticed how his hand was still clasped around Naruto's.
He swallowed.
He had to let go, but something told him not to.

It seemed Naruto had noticed as well; he laughed awkwardly, letting go of the Uchiha's hand.
"Sorry,"

A bout of temporary insanity must've come over him, and Sasuke wasn't sure what had happened, but in the next second he found himself pushing the blonde back against the wall, holding him there. They were so close he could feel the other's breath on his lips.
All the warning signs were there. It was like seeing everything he'd lived through the past year over again, in the blonde's eyes, and he knew that he was in too deep, that he should back off - pull away, stop himself in some way....
But he was too weak. Too pathetic.
And way, way too far gone into a moment that should never have existed. in the first place.
Not as hesitantly as was expected, he touched his lips to Naruto's.

****

Naruto's eyes widened.
Sasuke's lips were pressing against his, and the raven's eyes were tightly shut.

The blonde tried taking a step back, but was stopped by the wall.
Swallowing hard, he shakily lifted his arms and pushed Sasuke away.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he growled accusingly, and meant it.
Where was Sasuke coming from, doing this all of a sudden?
When he'd seemed ready to kill whenever Naruto touched him.
And especially since....they were both men!
It was preposterous as well as unnatural.

And....he didn't know what to make of it, or what to do with himself.

Sasuke didn't say anything. He was standing still, with a blank expression on his face, dark eyes digging into Naruto's in a way that made it seem like he was trying to read his mind. But he said nothing.
He appeared to be waiting for something.

Naruto took one more step back and turned.
He couldn't stay.
He didn't want to find out why Sasuke had pulled a stunt like that.

"Wait!"
Sasuke grabbed his wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

"Let go of me," Naruto hissed.
He turned his head slightly, looking at the Uchiha with confused eyes.
"Just....leave me alone..." he pulled his hand out of Sasuke's grip and turned again, beginning to walk quickly down the hall.

Sasuke stared after him, but refrained from following him.
He'd acted foolishly and rash. And what had made him think that Naruto would react any differently than this?
Anyone would respond with repulsion.
But the vibe he'd gotten from the blonde...Whatever it was it didn't matter, he reminded himself; he was marrying and he deserved it.

***

Sasuke hadn't followed him, and it didn't seem like he was looking for him either.
And for that, Naruto was grateful.

His heart was still pounding frantically in his chest, and his lips were burning from the touch of Sasuke's lips, as were his cheeks whenever he thought about it.

He stared at himself in the mirror hanging on the wall in his cabin, touching his fingers to pale pink lips, trying to figure out what to make from this, even though he knew it was pretty obvious.
He sighed deeply, cursing under his breath as he buried his head in his hands, fingertips digging into his hair in frustration.

As he was sitting like that, the door slid open and his mother peeked inside.
"Naruto, honey?" she said softly, stepping inside.
"Hi," Naruto mumbled, without turning to look at her.
"Your father and I were thinking of taking a walk up on deck before dinner, with some of the others, would you like to join us?"
He shook his head. "No thanks."
"Well then," she sighed, casting a worried look at him, "We'll see you at dinner then?"
"If I'm up for it," the blonde replied monotonously, "I don't feel good."
It was a white lie.
"Are you sick?" she sounded even more worried, coming over to him, placing her hand on his forehead. "You don't have a fever...But you don't usually get seasick..."
"I'm sure it's nothing," Naruto tried to calm her, "I'll sleep it off, okay?"
She offered an empathic smile, "Alright. I'll tell your father."
Naruto nodded.
She planted a kiss on his forehead and left the room in a wave of elegance; silk and laces.

He exhaled shakily and stood from the chair, making his way over to the bed where he fell down, hoping to escape into dreamland.
*****
TBC
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[Reviews are love. *3* ]

Replies:

Chaliceofblood: Thank you very much! I'm glad you think so. What Itachi's talking about should begin to reveal itself around here, ne? xD
And I always reply. I feel bad if I don't. So even if AFF doesn't have a reply system like ff.net, I'll do my best to reply.

MeLaiya: While I woulnd't call it a spin-off, I really like the concept myself, and find myself utterly taken with it xD
Thank you so much for reading! Please drop me another note okay? :3 And I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Kuno: Thank you! I'm so glad you decided to give it a shot! Some of my favorite fics are death fics, even though I generally avoid them, because I'm so emotional xD
But truly, thank you! :3 I really did try my best to keep them IC and true to themselves, and I'm glad you think I pulled that off!
As for the WiP thing, this story's fairly short, so it won't be aaages between the updates. Expect one again this weekend! :3