He Can't Let Go

A/N: Man guys words cannot describe (and my vocabulary is expansive) how awful my dad’s house is. It’s like boot camp, no lie. Brutal…so brutal. But I won’t get into that. I knew everyone would be murderous over that damn cliffhanger so…I’m pulling the pity card.

I was up writing that all night and I had to stop in order to get SOME sleep. Yesterday I was in the hospital from 8-12 getting meds andddd I had to get an IV and such and it was traumatizing…so when I came home I just slept like all day. So I had two choices: either wait and update sometime next week when I could get the whole chapter done OR just give you guys what I had already written. Oh poor me…

Okay, pity party is over. I still feel guilty so I’m writing this while at my dad’s with no internet so I can dispel the angry mob asap. See? I lovvvvvvves you!

This chapter is admittedly shorter than the other two, but that’s because it was originally meant to be incorporated into chapter two. However, I extended it and added in some “hm that’s interesting” moments and tried to throw a little bit of background characterization in there to beef it up. Man my head hurts and it’s five AM and I just finished. Whew!

This whole chapter is for Timafox and KakaSasu_4ever for making me feel like crap and not writing the whole thing. And to anyone else who's thought of cyber-raping me! =P

It was over. She’d spotted Sasuke.

Tsunade looked enraged, her heels clacking against the defenseless tile louder than ever as she approached. Kakashi had no time to think, no time to make up a story, no time to at least save his own ass from looking like an accomplice. His good eye merely focused distortedly on the wrinkles emerging on the Hokage’s forehead like ripples in water, belying her age. So unresponsive his mind had become, he was delayed several seconds in noticing she’d stopped at the edge of his bed.

“What did I say about this, Kakashi?!”

Hands with nails long enough to inflict plenty of damage without the excessive strength of their user reached out like talons. The partially covered green novel was extracted from its hiding place beneath a hospital blanket. It was held up at eye level. Her icy gaze unblinking.

The book...she was talking about the book.

The adrenaline flooding his veins was dispelled, releasing the vice-like grip on his chest. Muscles he hadn’t realized were tensed relieved themselves, and he suddenly felt strangely giddy. It was like he was six again, sneaking the stray dog into the house without alerting his dad. That same rush of excitement from getting away with something he shouldn’t be doing.

“Stop smiling!” Blonde pigtails hovered narrowly above as she moved to loom over him, still glaring. “You think this is funny?” His precious text was flashed in front of him again before it disappeared out of eyesight. “I made it perfectly clear that while your other eye heals, there will be no strain whatsoever to be placed on the one good one you have! Or do you wish to go blind in both?” He made no move to answer and she left him no time to. “You can forget pulling a stunt like that again. This time I’ll see to it personally that you don’t get your fingers on this.”

She backed off then, stepping back to shoot the jounin another nasty look. Tsunade made a gesture with her arm, which Kakashi assumed was her pocketing Icha Icha. For once he couldn’t care less. There were about a million other outcomes to this situation much worse than this. It seemed today he rolled with lucky dice.

Any signs of old age were gone, and Tsunade’s youthful appearance of a young woman in her twenties had made a comeback. She had calmed significantly, though seemed extremely fatigued. “I spoke with your doctor,” her tone was still sharp, but lacked the previous spitefulness. “You can go home in the morning. Don’t expect to sign up for missions anytime soon, not for at least two weeks. You’re of no use to Konoha when your abilities are lacking.”

She hesitated before leaving. Just before she was out the door, she leaned her head back in, looking stern. “Don’t let me find out you bought more of that trash, Kakashi, I’m warning you.” Then she was gone behind an unnecessarily loud slam.

Immediately, he slouched against the wall with a sigh, uncaring about the loud thump or dull pain in his skull from the action. He’d just pulled one over on the Hokage. He was an accomplice. But the whole thing sent his spirits on a high he couldn’t recall feeling for over a decade. No force in the world could stop the wide grin from breaking out on his face, or the genuine heartfelt laughs rising from deep within his diaphragm.

Having not budged from his uncomfortable position of being merged with the bed and floor, Sasuke couldn’t help but be alarmed. A couple years’ worth of interaction had him accustomed to Kakashi’s knowing smirks, Kakashi’s amused chuckles, even Kakashi’s rare, but not impossible, full-blown smiles. This sound rang foreign to his ears.

The mask may have done its job of concealing his exterior, but the Uchiha had worked hard to see past it and beyond to what the man was feeling inside. Shortly after joining their team, he’d gone out of his way to define and understand Kakashi’s way of thinking. His sensei was always like an elaborate puzzle to him, and for some unknown reason Sasuke dedicated an abundance of his time to solving it. Still, after years of pondering, the best he could come up with was the general picture.

A number of pieces were still missing. And sometimes Sasuke was unsure if even Kakashi himself knew where to find them.

Despite being so bizarre, Sasuke found himself drawn to the sound. It was oddly pleasant and raw with uncontained emotion. He felt goose bumps break out on his arms. It was contagious. The negative side of his brain wasn’t at all happy with the goofy smile slowly stretching across his own face, teeth begging to reveal themselves but denied at the last minute.

Kakashi’s laughter didn’t last nearly as long as it seemed, lowering to the normal breathy chuckles within a few seconds. “She’s gone, you know,” he stated to what looked like an empty room from his angle.

Sasuke stayed glued to the floor. His stupid smile refused to go away, and he struggled to regain his grip for control. For his own sake, he refused to look Kakashi in the eye without some level of composure.

“Sasuke?”

Finally, he’d managed to reduce it to a smirk. Maneuvering from his awkwardly crouched position, he made to rise on his knees.

Big mistake.

Just a few feet above, Kakashi had grown a bit curious at Sasuke’s lack of response, imagining he’d fallen asleep or his urgent pushing caused the Uchiha to get stuck somehow. Thus, he’d chosen that same moment to lean over the bed to observe.

It was awkward.

Personal space became nonexistent, both moving forward from either direction at the same time and halting sharply once they unexpectedly came face to face. The barest of centimeters were the only thing keeping their noses from colliding painfully. Both shinobi stared frozenly in surprise.

Sasuke’s heart was hammering. The increased pumps pushing blood at an unbelievable rate through his veins, leaving his nerve endings tingling all over. A surge of heat flushed through him from being this close to Kakashi, centering throughout his face and ears. His brain roared for him to move and move now. But his strong-willed Uchiha pride forced him immobile. His jaw began to tremble ever so slightly, overwrought with nothing to say. It didn’t matter. His throat had closed off against the limp organ known as his tongue anyway. He could not look away.

And he had the sudden uncontrollable urge to place his hand back on Kakashi’s neck.

On the other side of the situation was Kakashi. His heart, too, had made drastic leaps in his chest, though not quite reaching the intensity of its counterpart. It was only out of shock, he told himself. Witnessing the barest of blushes dye fair skin a light shade of pink, the jounin couldn’t find the reasoning behind a happy feeling fluttering distinctly in the pit of his stomach. It was time to back up. He could move. He should move. But he doesn’t. Not when Sasuke’s eyes are inches away and he can see just how dark, mysterious, and black they truly are.

Now, more than ever, he longed to save him.

His conscience screamed not to do anything reckless. Thoughts were leading him down a path best not to even exist. Sasuke’s not twelve anymore. But that didn’t mean he was an adult either…The fact of the matter was he’d come all the way back to Konoha. And Kakashi was beginning to realize he would be damned if he watched Sasuke walk off again.

That’s why, when Kakashi began to move in closer, he had no second thoughts.

He observed Sasuke’s eyes grow fractionally wider at the motion, but the teenager didn’t pull away. Once he’d reached a certain point, the entire right side of the other’s face had been pushed out of view due to limited vision. From the portion Kakashi could see, it appeared Sasuke’s eyelid was lowering the more the distance between them closed.

Once the onyx iris had reached the halfway mark, Kakashi had come within reach of the Uchiha’s nose. So close they were, both felt the slight static pull of two surfaces about to touch. The tickling of condensed air bounced back and forth between cloth and flesh. Finally, Kakashi broke it to tilt his head just slightly, continuing to lean forward. Body on autopilot, Sasuke mimicked him. The tingling static was back, this time slightly lower.

Anticipation and hesitation raged war within. Too many feelings. One thought telling him to do this, the other telling him he was insane and needed to get away. Sasuke was used to being conflicted. He wasn’t used to being conflicted with the added enticement of Kakashi’s mouth, masked or no, so unnaturally within reach of his own. He also wasn’t used to that forbidden interest he’d fought so hard to crush when he was younger returning stronger than ever. It manifested and growled menacingly, speaking in volumes that echoed and cancelled out any other thoughts Sasuke might have been having. Resistance caved in.

Dark eyes closed completely. Sasuke prepared to move forward.

But Kakashi tore his mouth away abruptly. Before the other could open his eyes, cloth made full contact with the corner of his mouth. It was light and barely there, but it meant Kakashi’s lips were on his skin and he couldn’t care less. The man kept the contact, tilting his head further to drag it along a defined jaw line, not expecting the shaky breath expelled or the way his own pulse increased because of it.

He reached Sasuke’s ear quickly, nose nudging aside inky black hair hanging in front of it. When he spoke, he found it slightly difficult to keep his voice from going an octave lower than normal.

“Go to my apartment.”

A set of eyes snapped open.

Kakashi had already pulled away, gotten out of bed, and was standing next to him. He bent to retrieve an unnoticed bag at the foot of the bed, leaving Sasuke’s mind enough space for a return trip to reality. After a bit of searching, he’d located his room key floating around under several articles of clothing. Wordlessly, he turned and held it out for him.

The Uchiha stared at the small copper object blankly. What the hell just happened? One second he was sure Kakashi was about to—well…but then he’d…none of it made sense. And now he was being told to go back to his apartment? The idea made him nervous. Arrangements with Orochimaru were three days. It would take him two days to get back—a day and a half if he chose not to sleep. He was short on time…

“Look, you can’t stay here. We really can’t risk another incident like that, they’re already onto you, even if they don’t know it’s you.”

Kakashi had forced the key into his hand before he could process all the words. He couldn’t do this. An apartment was personal…and nothing was supposed to get personal while he was here. That went out the window a few seconds ago…That thought went ignored. He had to find an excuse not to go.

“Go now while it’s dark, I’ll head over as soon as I’m discharged in the morning.”

“…I don’t have time.” It was the first time he’d spoken in what felt like ages.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “You came all this way for information on my mangekyo. I haven’t given it to you, yet. Wouldn’t you rather wait just one night than return knowing your whole trip was pointless?”

That’s right. Tsunade had burst in before Kakashi could tell him anything. Still he was unsure. If he left now, he wouldn’t have to be uncomfortable around Kakashi anymore. But I wouldn’t stop thinking about it. If he stayed…I might get attached.

“I don’t remember where it is…” It sounded just as stupid out loud as it did in his head. Even if the only time he’d ever been in Kakashi’s apartment was the day Itachi came back…that didn’t mean…

“Don’t think I’m stupid Sasuke,” Kakashi said, stepping forward and invading the Uchiha’s personal space all over again. His gray eye was narrowed. Sasuke knew he’d been caught in his lie. “I watched you.”

So he had been home all those times.

When he was younger, back when Kakashi remained much more of a mystery and Sasuke truly believed he was as aloof and unconcerned as he put on, he first initiated his thoughts on his sensei while walking. He wasn’t really looking to go any place in particular, and it was solely by accident that he stumbled upon Kakashi’s residence. There, up on the narrow balcony, something happened.

Merely glancing about to take in his surroundings, Kakashi’s trademark hair caught his eye even from several stories up. It happened so quickly. He looked up, just as the jounin was turning around. There was no mask on his face. By the time Sasuke had registered what he’d seen and moved to do a double take, Kakashi was gone.

It drove him insane week after week thinking about it. Whether it was real or a figment of his imagination, he didn’t know. But it sparked a deep desire inside him to know Kakashi. Several more walks led him down the same path. Kakashi was never there. That didn’t stop him, though. On his last walk, the day before he defected, he found himself wishing more than ever to see that one more time. He didn’t. The balcony was deserted.

But Kakashi had been watching. So it had to have been real.

Sasuke suddenly felt sheepish for obsessing over such a thing when he was younger. It made him feel immature and ridiculous. He couldn’t look Kakashi in the eye.

Luckily, the jounin chose that moment to back up out of his space once more and head to the window. Opening the curtains Sasuke had so cautiously shut before, he made to lift the glass up. His gray eye landed briefly on the ledge the teenager had been perched on in the first place. How had Sasuke scaled this building undetected and without chakra anyway? And in a tiny little body like that? He shrugged it off. It really wasn’t all that amazing. Sasuke had pulled off some pretty incredible feats in front of him before and he'd learned not to underestimate the Uchiha. The window was opened as wide as it would go, needing to admit more than just a small boy through this time. Finished, he motioned Sasuke over.

Despite feeling his feet were heavy as lead, Sasuke's footsteps were silent. A habit engraved in his mind from performing a large number of assassinations. He stopped just before Kakashi, eyes finally meeting, and giving an affirmative nod. He moved to step out the window.

A firm hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“You won’t leave in the middle of the night, will you?”

Sasuke scoffed.

“No.”

Though it was obvious he’d been thinking about it.


A/N: Nobody better leave a disgruntled review, cuz that is nottttttt a cliffhanger! Like I said, this is the way chapter two should have ended. But, since I’m updating it so fast, hopefully people won’t be mad about the previous ending. (*is hoping*) Anyways…ooooooo some Kaka/Sasu interaction happening FINALLY! I can’t rush them into smex, it just seems so unnatural, so I’ll take my time. The only way from here is up. Here's to me surpassing three chapters! Man, even I don't know how long thing thing will end up. But in the meantime, thoughts? questions? comments? marraige proposals? haha I'm ridiculous =]