Hurt,Cope,Heal

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“Naruto, open up, damnit,” Sasuke snapped, banging impatiently on the closed door of their bedroom. He flinched as something thunked into the wood from the other side, obviously thrown by his irate lover. “Look, it won’t happen again. I’m taking precautions this time. I already called Kakashi and Iruka; they’re coming to stay with you while I’m gone.”

There was silence. He waited, forehead pressed against the door. He was prepared for it to swing open, and was fully expecting the blonde to come at him, attempting to tear him limb from limb, but for the second time that day, he was thoroughly surprised. The blonde came at him, but not with the intent to kill.

Naruto Uzumaki; proud, fierce, stubborn Naruto, came stumbling out of the bedroom begging. Not only begging, but desperately pleading, his hands clawing at the dark-haired man, pulling at him, trying to get him as close to himself as he possibly could.

“Please, please don’t go,” Naruto implored, eyes wild, “Don’t leave me here again! Please, Sasuke. Please. I’ll come with you; I’ll-I’ll do anything, just please–

“Naruto, stop. Stop,” Sasuke ordered, taking a hold of the blonde’s shoulders and shaking him roughly. “Calm the fuck down, right now.”

Naruto trembled in his grip, breath so harsh it was audible. Sasuke’s fingers were painfully tight on his arm, but all he could see, all he could feel, all he could taste was the burning, tearing panic, the nausea, the fear, all of them ripping a path through his veins like a horde of ragged nails. He struggled; he didn’t see Sasuke anymore, he saw–

SMACK.

“Ow, fuck!” Naruto cried, wrenching his arm out of Sasuke’s grip to press a hand to his rapidly reddening cheek.

“Focus, Naruto. You’re with me, you’re right here. Nothing’s going to happen to you; you’re safe. Got it?” Sasuke insisted, shaking the blonde with every word. “Got it?” he yelled when the other didn’t answer immediately.

“Y-yeah– yes!” Naruto yelped, “Safe. I’m safe. Got it.” He gasped for air, like he’d been thrown above water after drowning, his knees buckling underneath him in shock and exhaustion. Sasuke caught him easily and moved to let him go, but the blonde clung so he kept his hold, keeping him there for a few long moments, unconsciously pressing the other man’s face against his chest. They stayed that way until he felt the last of the trembling cease.

“Alright?” Sasuke asked carefully, arms tightening just in case the other panicked again.

“M’okay,” the blonde mumbled. “Sorry...m’weak...”

Sasuke sighed, for the first time in a long time regretting words he’d said to the man. He grit his teeth, frustrated with himself and the situation, and let Naruto go so he could look him in the eyes.

“You’re not weak. I meant what I said– you do need to start working on getting over what happened, but your reaction right now... Naruto, considering the circumstances, it’s entirely understandable.” He peered at the man, who kept lowering his head to get away from Sasuke’s gaze.

“I guess,” the blonde mumbled, picking at his sleeve. There was silence for a moment, before Naruto began speaking again, voice uncertain, faint tremors still lingering in it. “I’m just...embarrassed, for acting like that. No matter if it was justified or not– it was pretty insane. I was out of control...my mind and body were just– just gone. All I felt was panic, and fear, and...and Sasuke, Ifelt like I wasn’t here, it was almost like... it seemed like I was– ” he stopped, shook his head to clear it. “Never mind, it’s stupid.”

Sasuke, feeling like they were finally getting somewhere, immediately responded, “No, it’s not. Where did you feel like you were? Back with–

“Stop! Just stop,” Naruto desperately cut in, “Please. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Let’s just...let’s just sit down and relax for a bit. Okay? Please?” Naruto’s eyes were wide and pleading. There was tense silence for a moment.

“Yeah, alright. Don’t give yourself a stroke, dobe,” Sasuke quipped lightly. He took Naruto by the elbow and lead him into the living room. Ordinarily, the blonde would’ve yanked his arm out of Sasuke’s grip and claimed defiantly that he could do it on his own, thank you very much, but Sasuke suspected that the other man was just too drained. Sasuke sat him down on the couch and moved to sit beside him, but paused as he noticed Naruto’s face.

“Wait, dobe. You’re bleeding.”

“I am?” the blonde asked, surprised out of his stupor. He reached up and felt the corner of his lip, flinching at the slight pain, and brought his fingers back. Sure enough, they were covered in scarlet drops. “Damnit, Sasuke,” he whined, “You didn’t have to hit me that hard. My beautiful face is ruined!”

“There was no hope for it to begin with, Naruto,” Sasuke commented dryly, easily dodging the swipe the blonde then sent at him. “And there was nothing else I could do. You looked like you were about to spontaneously combust or something. It was either smack you or hit you with a blunt object to knock you out.”

“Lovely,” Naruto grumbled.

Sasuke smirked. “I’m gonna go get the first aid. Try not to get yourself killed while I’m gone.”

There was an uncomfortable pause at his words.

“Shit, Naruto, I didn’t mean to say that.”

“It’s...okay. Just a joke, right?” Naruto forced a chuckle. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Naruto–

“No, it’s fine,” he barked. “Just go get the first aid, okay?”

Sasuke nodded stiffly and headed to their bedroom. Naruto sighed, frustrated with the erratic nature of their recent encounters, wishing it could go back to him getting over it in his own way. What, the let’s-pretend-it-didn’t-happen approach? that damn voice in his head nagged.

“Shut up,” he mumbled. The dark-haired man reappeared and kneeled before him, all business now.

“Turn your face to the left,” the other man instructed. Naruto did, and Sasuke took a hold of his chin to steady it as he worked.

“Is it bad?” the blonde asked idly.

“No talking,” Sasuke snapped. Then, a bit gentler, “No, it’s not. Just a little cut. I’m going to put alcohol on it once the bleeding’s stopped, then a small bandage.”

Naruto was about to respond with a “‘kay”, but remembered just in time that he wasn’t supposed to talk. Instead, he closed his eyes for the next few minutes, enjoying the feel of Sasuke’s deft fingers on his skin, and when the other began applying the alcohol, he easily ignored the slight, stinging discomfort. He felt the press of the tiny bandage, then it was done. Sasuke stood and moved to leave, but Naruto grabbed his wrist and turned him around.

“Sasuke, thanks,” he said sincerely.

“For what? Hitting you and then patching you up afterwards?” the dark-haired man snorted, turning to leave again. Naruto tugged sharply on his arm, bringing him back.

“No,” Naruto said, voice suddenly serious, “For...for dealing with this. With me.”

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed, jaw working. “Did you think I’d leave?”

Naruto averted his eyes, sensing the rise of tension in the room. “Most people would have,” he said neutrally.

Sasuke was dangerously silent for a long minute before he growled, “I should hit you again.”

Naruto swallowed; didn’t look up as he weakly responded, “What...what for?”

Suddenly Sasuke grabbed the back of the other’s head and crashed their foreheads together, eyes blazing, making the blonde gasp audibly in surprise and pain.

“For ever even entertaining the thought that I’d leave you after what happened, you stupid, brainless idiot,” the dark-haired man snarled, before capturing the others lips in a bruising, painful kiss. Naruto, shocked, didn’t respond for a moment, but then he was kissing back with all he had, his arms wrapping tightly around the other man, back arching into him. The searing pain in his lip became a whisper of thought at the back of his mind as the whole of his being focused on the man in front of him, on the lips moving against his own.

“Sasuke,” he whispered in between the hot kisses, his voice heady, “Sasuke, I love you so much...”

The other man stilled at the words, fingers tightening in the blonde hair, before he continued kissing Naruto, more gently now, slow, tender. His way of saying, Yeah, idiot, I love you too. They kissed for a minute longer, then Sasuke pulled back, his face twisted in a slight grimace.

“Yuck, dobe, you taste like blood,” he commented, wiping his mouth.

“That’s not my fault, teme!” the blonde called after him as he walked back to their bedroom, first aid kit swinging behind him.

Naruto smiled, a bit tremulously. Things were back to normal, it seemed. As normal as they could be with him and Sasuke, anyway.

HURTCOPEHEAL

The next day passed with little incident. Naruto slept the day away, as he usually did ever since taking a year’s leave from his job, and Sasuke wasn’t home until midnight due to the added workload from his new case.

No, it was the day after that when things really started getting strained. Sasuke was leaving early the next morning, and this fact had Naruto fidgeting and antsy, unable to eat or sleep throughout the morning and well into the afternoon. When Sasuke got home, surprisingly early at around five, it was to find Naruto sitting on the couch in the living room, staring at nothing, fingers clenching and unclenching in his lap, legs bouncing in a nervous jig underneath him. Sasuke walked up to him and reached out to touch the back of his neck, unable to suppress a frown when the man jumped horribly and whirled around to look at him, eyes a touch wild.

“Shit, you scared me,” Naruto breathed.

“I couldn’t tell,” the man dead panned, pulling his hand back. “Calm down, dobe. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

Naruto smiled half-heartedly, a trace of bitterness in the curve of his lips, and said blithely, “Too late, already did.”

“Hn. Well.” Sasuke stopped, gritting his teeth, not liking this surging of something suspiciously like guilt churning in his belly. “I’m going to eat dinner. Kakashi and Iruka will be here any minute, so. Do what you will till then.” He stalked off into the kitchen, radiating irritation.

Naruto stared after him, bewildered. Still, despite the man’s sudden weirdness, Naruto felt distinctly more at ease now that he was in the house. He’s going to be gone in 12 hours, Naruto thought miserably. A whole week. I wonder how long it’ll take them to come for me this time. The thought made his whole body shudder in automatic fear.

“Stop, Naruto,” he told himself under his breath, “You’re making it worse. Just relax. Sasuke promised it wouldn’t happen. He promised.”

“Talking to yourself now, Naruto?” a dry, sarcastic voice called from the doorway.

“Kakashi!” Naruto exclaimed, getting up to greet him. “When did you get here?”

“Sometime during your little schizo episode over there. I guess you didn’t hear the door,” he replied with a shrug. Iruka appeared behind him, dragging a suitcase.

“Hello, Naruto. How are you?” he asked warmly, letting go of his luggage to give Naruto a hug.

“Hey, ‘Ruka,” Naruto greeted, patting the man’s back. “I’m doing okay. You?”

“Just fine, thanks. Excited to spend a week with my favorite karate student!”

“Damnit, Iruka,” Naruto whined, face bright red, “That was ages ago. I was like, 8.”

“Oh, Iruka dear, weren’t you just telling me how adorable this one was in his bright orange get-up and headgear?” Kakashi cooed to his lover, succeeding in making Naruto’s face achieve a new level of plum.

“Iruka!” the blonde cried, indignant.

“Well, you were!” the brunet defended himself, glaring at Kakashi.

“What’s going on?” a familiar monotone voice asked from the kitchen doorway.

“Oh, ah...Sasuke, hello,” Iruka said politely, all traces of the conflict gone from his face.

“Yo, brat,” Kakashi offered. “We were just commenting on Naruto’s–

“Shut it!” Naruto cut in quickly. “They were, uh, commenting on how good my hair looks right now.”

Sasuke snorted, eyeing the rumpled, tousled mess that had obviously been pulled at and threaded through several times in the day. “Right,” was all he said.

“So, you guys hungry? Sasuke’s making dinner,” Naruto said brightly, his mood improved now that Kakashi and Iruka’s arrival had somewhat pushed back the other, bad thoughts occupying his mind.

“Yes, please. I’m famished,” Iruka admitted, rubbing his stomach.

“Eh, sure. I could eat,” Kakashi agreed.

The three of them migrated to the kitchen, where Sasuke was pouring chicken stir-fry into four bowls. Naruto sidled up behind him, arms slipping around the man’s waist. He leaned up to kiss the white skin of his lover’s neck, whispering “Thanks for making dinner. Sorry for whatever I did” before letting him go. Sasuke turned to look at him, some unknown emotion flickering in his eyes. He looked like he was about to say something, but then he suddenly remembered the other two people in the room, and he quickly turned back to them, handing them their bowls.

The four of them ate in the living room (because Kakashi refused to eat anywhere but a Lazy Chair) and the meal was a peaceful, soothing one for Naruto, who sat with his eyes closed, not eating, simply listening to the sounds of people he cared for talking and laughing, being in his presence. At some point he must have drifted off, because the next thing he knew, he was in he and Sasuke’s bed, wrapped up in the other’s arms, and the sky outside was ink black. He shivered. All of those hours I had left with him, wasted. Damnit, now we’ve probably only got a couple before he has to leave. He stared at the clock. Yup, just about right. It read in blue “2:48.” He curled deeper into Sasuke’s embrace, feeling the other’s heat spread through his limbs, a deliciously warm balm for his anxious, worried soul.

“Sasuke,” he whispered, just to say his name. Just to make it real, that he was here. The dark-haired man was an inherently light sleeper, though; Naruto felt him immediately shift and begin to move, fingers smoothing up the blonde’s arms.

“Naruto? What?” Sasuke asked, voice clear.

Naruto swallowed thickly. “Don’t go.”

“Naruto,” he sighed, sitting up to look at the other man. “I can’t just not go. There’ll be consequences at my job. This client is really important to the firm.”

“Where are they sending you this time anyway?” the blonde asked grouchily, sitting up too and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Er,...Japan,” Sasuke said hesitantly.

Naruto stiffened; he closed his eyes, focused on breathing for a long minute. When he spoke, his voice was barely controlled. “Again?”

“Yes. Same place, different client.”

They were both silent as they thought about what was going to happen the next day.

“Naruto,” Sasuke said softly after a while. The blonde looked up, eyes questioning. “You know I’m shit at this, but, earlier, I wanted to say that I’m...sorry this has been so hard for you.” He looked away after his confession, vaguely embarrassed. Naruto reached up to cup his cheek, turn him back. His fingers stroked gently.

“Thank you. That means a lot,” the blonde said genuinely, surprised and pleased at Sasuke’s considerate, if a bit stiff, apology. “I know this is something you have to do. You’ve worked way too hard to get where you are at that firm to lose it all because of this. Because of me.”

Sasuke brought a hand up to cover Naruto’s briefly, before dropping it and saying, “Hn. Let’s go to sleep. I’ll wake you up before I leave.”

“‘Kay,” the blonde whispered as they settled back down into the covers. “I love you.” Sasuke stroked a hand down his back in response, and was still.

Naruto dug his nose into the other man’s collar bone, breathing in the smell of his skin, before glancing warily over at the clock. One hour and fifty minutes, in counting.

God, this was torture.

HURTCOPEHEAL

“Naruto? Naruto, wake up,” Sasuke murmured, shaking the blonde’s shoulder. Pale blue eyes immediately opened, alight with worry and fear.

“Already?” he asked, fingers clutching onto the hand still clasping his shoulder. Sasuke squeezed his fingers gently.

“Yeah,” he grunted. Naruto sat up, rubbing his bleary eyes, then stood to face the other man. The temperature in the room seemed to drop as both realized the gravity of the situation. Naruto took a deep breath, throat closing and throbbing, and stepped into Sasuke’s arms, savoring the feel of the strong, lithe limbs wrapping around him, the press of the hard chest against his cheek, the slight jab of the other man’s chin resting on the crown of his head.

“You’ll be fine,” Sasuke said, and Naruto thought he could hear just the slightest note of uncertainty in the other’s voice, almost as if Naruto wasn’t the only one he was trying to convince. “Kakashi and Iruka will be here the whole time, and I’ll check up on you whenever I can.”

“Kay,” Naruto mumbled into his chest. Sasuke moved to pull away, but Naruto just couldn’t seem to make himself let go of his lover.

“Naruto, I’ve got to leave,” Sasuke said. When the other still didn’t move, he grabbed his shoulders and peeled him off. He then leaned forward to kiss the blonde’s forehead, pulling back with an almost apologetic expression.

“I’ll see you in a week, alright?”

Naruto nodded, body stiff, stomach knotted painfully. “Yeah, okay,” he whispered. “Have a good trip.” He tilted forward to give Sasuke a quick peck on the lips, certain that the other could feel their trembling.

Sasuke briefly touched the side of his neck, a parting touch, a clear message: I’ll keep you safe. Whatever it takes.>

“Bye, dobe.”