Iruka's Sex Ed

ISE 3:

Sunlight filtered through the window and fanned out over tanned skin, a scarred nose and lighting up a dark blue bedspread covered in silver slashes that had reminded Iruka of [i]senbon[/i] when he’d bought it. The persistent beams of light kissed the sleeping [i]chunin’s[/i] face and caressed his hair, making red and gold highlights gleam in the chestnut mane. The evidence of a new day beginning shined directly onto Iruka’s face causing him to turn his head back and forth with a flurry of movement and hair in an effort to try and evade the sun’s unrelenting insistence that it was time to get up.

But waking was not to be escaped. Iruka blinked awake and rolled his head to look at the clock sitting on his bedside table. It was still early yet, but later than when he normally woke. He had turned the alarm off last night in the hopes of sleeping in a bit on one of his precious few days off. He supposed he could consider getting an extra forty minutes of rest sleeping in.

Yawning, the [i]chunin[/i] sat up in bed and stretched with both arms high above his head. His shoulders popped and he felt the pleasant burn in his back muscles that one could only achieve from a good stretch. Dropping one arm into his lap, He let the other drift down to idly scratch at his naked chest. He bent his head dropping his ear to his shoulder to stretch his neck. The movement caused his hair to fall over his face and into his eyes so he hastily brushed it aside.

Still blinking and trying to adjust to being awake, Iruka reached over to the bedside table and grabbed his hair tie. Combing his fingers through the disheveled tresses helped him feel more alert and ready to begin his day. He supposed this was just one more reason why he was better suited for teaching than doing missions, his inability to wake quickly and be hyper-aware of his surroundings would get him killed on a mission.

Once he had finger-combed all the knots in his hair out, he pulled the sun-lit mass of it back into its usual ponytailed style. He supposed his hair was his one vanity, he loved keeping it long because he knew it was his best feature. But it still annoyed the heck out of him when it was always in his face.

Feeling the insistent pressure of his bladder, he finally climbed out of bed and made his way to the bathroom still stretching and trying to work the knots out of his muscles. He relieved himself quickly and then washed his face and brushed his teeth following his normal routine.

Once he’d finished in the bathroom, Iruka padded slowly, on bare feet, toward his kitchen. He yawned widely, as his soft cotton pajama pants, covered in kittens with oversized eyes (a gag gift from Naruto one year for Christmas), made soft [i]chuffing[/i] noises on the floor when he walked. His brain was finally starting to come back online, and he began thinking about his plans for the day. There wasn’t much on the agenda. It was a weekend, so no teaching and he wasn’t scheduled at the missions office either, so his day was blissfully absent of any obligations.

And he was pretty pissed about it.

Ordinarily the prospect of having a weekend to himself with no responsibilities and nowhere he had to be would be fantastic, but that was before he’d slept with Kakashi. It had been four days since they’d had sex and Iruka still couldn’t stop thinking about him. It had been nice to be so busy the last couple of days and be able to distract himself from those thoughts.

He would probably spend most of his time training and that would distract him at least for a little while, but what was he going to do tonight? He was sure that sitting at home alone with nothing but his memories of Kakashi would have him hard and aching and giving in to the fantasy with little resistance.

And that would be okay if he could just leave it at a fantasy and be done with it. But three times in four days he’d given in to temptation, and all four times had been nothing but trouble. There was the first spectacular collapse of willpower that found him fucking himself with wild abandon with one of his toys, and then two quicker, less intense sessions; once in the shower and once before bed. All three had been mind-numbingly pleasant but all three had also exponentially weakened his resolve not to see Kakashi again.

Each time he remembered how hot and sweaty and [i]achingly[/i] fantastic the sex was it got harder and harder to remember why he wasn’t supposed to indulge in it again. And again… and again…

And there he went thinking about it again. Breakfast - he should focus on breakfast.

When he’d made his way to the kitchen, he instinctually gravitated toward his teapot to put some water boiling. The familiarity of the action was soothing, but it still didn’t calm the wild thoughts racing around in his brain. But as much as those thoughts begged to be examined, he forced himself to focus on his morning routine. Once the water was on the stove he opened his refrigerator to see what he had to work with.

Not much.

A little dried fish and some miso would make a nice breakfast. He considered adding rice to the menu, but decided against it; he wasn’t all that hungry this morning, and considering his plans to train for most of the day he didn’t want anything too heavy in his stomach. A long run would be miserable with a poorly digested meal.

When breakfast was heated and the tea prepared he ate quietly and tried not to think too much about the thoughts that had been plaguing him for the last few days; although that attempt was mostly unsuccessful. The same bits and pieces of memory that had hounded him for days kept popping up, and the memories led to wanting, and the wanting led to questions. Questions Iruka didn’t know how to answer. Questions like would it really be so bad to have a lover that slept with other people? Would a man like Kakashi ever be interested in him for more than just sex? Did he even want him to be?

The thoughts plagued him the entire time he ate and before he knew it his plate was empty. He got up and gathered the dishes he’d used and cleaned them and put them away. Then he walked back to his bedroom to change his clothes into something suitable for training.

The [i]chuunin[i/] pulled on a pair of uniform pants and a long sleeved shirt. He strapped on a few holsters for weapons but nothing two extensive. He didn’t really need to do any heavy training with weapons or [i]chakra[/i] today. He practiced those skills every day with his students.

[i]Jutsus[/i] and the other various skills nin used in combat were just like any other skill one wished to master, they were made up of many basic building blocks. By mastering these smaller, more basic skills and combining them together, you could provide a solid foundation of knowledge and ability and embellish it however you wished.

It was these fundamentals- [i]chakra[/i] control, proper hand signs, correct body movements- that he taught his students daily.

Teaching pre-[i]genin[/i] these skills and demonstrating them frequently allowed him to keep his own knowledge and practice of them sharp. His fundamentals were solid, his execution flawless, it was his conditioning that was somewhat rusty. This of course wasn’t intentional; it was simply a matter of inevitability. The physical endurance of your average pre-[i]genin[/i] was no match for an adult nin’s, even if Iruka was just a [i]chunin[/i], so that meant Iruka just wouldn’t be able to maintain his level of stamina just by doing his daily teaching activities. Even though sometimes chasing after his students exhausted him enough to feel like it.

Which meant he had to supplement his training with additional conditioning exercises. The problem with that was finding the damn time. Iruka was one extremely busy [i]chunin[/i]. Between teaching, and the Missions Office, grading papers, parent-teacher conferences, occasional missions, housework, [i]and[/i] trying to fit friends and time to have fun in there somewhere, training somehow just fell by the wayside.
But not today.

He had loads of free time and he was going to use it wisely. He planned to push his body to the point of exhaustion in an effort to help bolster his endurance. Especially since he had something on his mind that he didn’t want to think about; the physical exertion of training would be a welcome distraction.

Pulling on his forehead protector he did a mental check to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything. Satisfied that he wouldn’t need anything else for his day of training, he made his way to the front door and his rack of weapons. He grabbed a few [i]kunai[/i] and [i]shuriken[/i] to load into the weapons holsters he’d donned and then slipped on his sandals.

He disarmed his traps with a pulse of [i]chakra[/i] to his front door and then exited. Once outside he turned around and fully reset his traps.

Iruka exited his home and began to jog down the street, it was his usual way of warming his body up and stretching his muscles out. When he felt like he’d warmed up enough, usually by the time he made it to the end of his street, then he would head to the rooftops and actually begin his run.

Normally he ran about three miles a day due to the constraints on his time in the morning, but today he was hoping to get about six to eight miles. He just hoped cutting back every morning hadn’t caused him to be too out of shape.

He made it to the end of the street in a matter of minutes and he inventoried his body and determined that he felt warmed and stretched enough to begin his run. So he took to the rooftops and began running in earnest.

It felt good to run. There was something symbolic about pumping your legs as hard as you could to carry your body as fast as possible when your mind was troubled. It was like you could outrun your problems if you ran fast enough. Iruka never could run quite that fast, but he certainly tried.

Trees and buildings, and even a few birds whizzed by him as he ran, but he didn’t really take notice of them. Iruka was focused on the feeling of the sun on a face that spent too much time indoors stuck behind a desk. He was focused on the feeling of straining legs that spent hours chasing children and only minutes chasing his own goals. He was focused on the sound of springtime in the happy village below him heard by ears that spent too much time listening to parents complain about Iruka’s “radical” training methods.

Iruka’s morning run was always the most liberating and invigorating part of his day, but today he was really relishing in it.

Iruka had made it about four and a half miles before he saw another nin on the rooftops. There had been very little traffic up on the ‘ninja streets’ as they were jokingly called, which was unusual, but not unheard of. But Iruka didn’t care that he was mostly alone, it just gave him more space to enjoy the beautiful morning.

After about six miles Iruka was still feeling great. Apparently cutting back on his run in the morning hadn’t affected him too negatively. He decided to drop back down to street level and jog for a mile or so to cool down a little and see if he could get another four or five miles at a full run.

He’d made it a quarter of a mile before Naruto found him.

The blond had approached from the opposite direction so when he noticed Iruka he turned around and broke out into a jog next to him, keeping up with him stride for stride. “Hey Iruka-sensei, whatcha doin’?”

Iruka turned and looked at Naruto sideways. [i]What did it look like he was doing?[/i] “Going for a run.”

Naruto grinned widely. “How much farther you gonna go?”

Iruka lifted both shoulders in a shrug even though the gesture was mostly lost in the movements of jogging. He was just trying to push himself to muscle failure, he didn’t really have a set distance in mind. “I don’t know. Maybe another four or five miles.”

The blond kept grinning and jogging, his sandaled feet kicking up dust. “Mind if I join you?”

Iruka wasn’t sure why Naruto would want to join him for a run, so his brain tried to dissect the request and read between the lines. But he couldn’t figure anything out, so he just nodded a bit. Not that it mattered anyway, Iruka would never deny such a simple request from Naruto. “Sure Naruto.”

Against all odds, Naruto’s grin widened even more. “Thanks Iruka-sensei.”

They jogged along together in companionable silence for a few minutes, Iruka’s brain still working over why Naruto seemed to search him out only to ask to join him for a run.

When they’d gone far enough for Iruka to rest some, he looked over at the blond jogging next to him. “Ready to go up and run?”

Naruto looked at him and nodded. “Yeah!”

They both made their way up to the rooftops and began a full sprint going from rooftop to rooftop and occasional treetop. The sun was warm on his face and his body was enjoying the exercise. His mind mostly emptied as he reveled in the experience of pushing himself harder than he had in months.

Every now and again random thoughts would sift through his mind as he ran, but they drifted back out just as easily. It was a completely foreign and yet totally freeing experience to have thoughts about Kakashi and lesson plans and housework not be able to take root in his head and distract him from the delicious feeling of training his body hard.

The scenery flew by as quickly as the miles and before Iruka knew it, he’d gone another three miles with Naruto as an unexpected companion. Not that it was a problem though, Iruka genuinely enjoyed spending time with Naruto.

The [i]chunin[/i] was beginning to feel slightly winded though, so he decided to drop back down to street level for another light jog. He waved a hand at Naruto to get his attention and then dropped down to the street.

Naruto followed quickly behind him, and they both continued along at a moderately paced jog.

After only a few minutes, Naruto began sneaking quick glances at Iruka and reaching up to scratch the back of his head periodically.

Iruka was sure Naruto didn’t even really consciously register the gesture, but the brunet knew that the younger man only succumbed to the old habit when he was embarrassed or nervous. Obviously there was something Naruto wanted to say, and it wasn’t something he was entirely comfortable with.

After about five minutes Iruka felt rested enough to go back to a faster pace, but he still sensed that Naruto wanted to talk to him. So he continued jogging along, feeling sweat run down his neck and between his shoulder blades, waiting for the younger man to broach whatever subject he was grappling with.

His diligence was eventually rewarded, but not at all in the way he thought.

Iruka’s blond companion finally looked over at him fully. “Were you headed to the training grounds Iruka-sensei?”

Keeping his face neutral, Iruka tried not to reveal that he’d noticed Naruto’s desire to address something with him, or that he’d noticed the blond’s inability to do so. “Actually, I was planning on heading back to my house, but that was before I had a companion.”

Naruto smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, sorry I kinda invited myself along.”

Iruka smiled gently. “It’s alright Naruto, I enjoy your company.” He paused for a minute, thinking about what he’d originally planned for the day and decided that nothing was of any major importance and he could ignore it in favor of spending time with Naruto. “Would you like to head to the training grounds and spar?”

“No!” Naruto blushed as he realized he’d just blurted that out rather loudly. He continued in a much quieter and much less-panicked voice. “I mean, uh, no. No, back to your house is cool with me.”

The [i]chunin[/i] raised his eyebrows. Whatever was going on with Naruto must be serious. The blond was usually easily excitable and a little loud, but it was unusual for him to sound so desperate and unsure about something so mundane as where to go after their run.

Naruto’s blush deepened to a dark crimson as he realized he’d just invited himself over to Iruka’s house much the same way he’d invited himself on this run. “Uh, that is if you’re not busy and you don’t mind.”

Chuckling a little at Naruto’s embarrassment, Iruka smiled wider and tried to put Naruto at ease. “No Naruto, I’m not busy, and I don’t mind.”

Iruka noticed the way Naruto’s face didn’t really relax with the words like Iruka thought it would. Whatever was bothering the normally effervescent young man must really be weighing on him. “Naruto do you have something you want to talk to me about?”

Surprise flitted over Naruto’s face and he shot Iruka a sideways look. But then his shoulders relaxed a little and the corner of his lips lifted in a somewhat self-mocking smile. “Yeah, and I’d really like to do it in private.”

Iruka stopped jogging and waited for Naruto to do the same. When the blond stopped Iruka turned toward him fully and put what he hoped was a comforting hand on the younger man’s shoulder. At one time in his life Iruka had tried to fight the paternal feelings he felt for Naruto, because he didn’t want others to think he was favoring one student over another. But he’d long given up that fight; he figured if any child had ever needed to know that someone loved them unconditionally and was there for them, then that child was Naruto. “Of course Naruto. Whatever it is you want to talk to me about, you don’t have to be afraid or embarrassed about. Naruto, whatever it is I’m here to help.

Naruto just smiled at Iruka like he wanted to believe him but just couldn’t let himself, because the look of gratitude never reached his eyes like it normally would have. “Thanks Iruka-sensei.”

Iruka wanted to say more, but this wasn’t the place, the conversation was far too personal to continue in the middle of the road. Looking up, he saw that they were almost to the corner of his street. He smiled at Naruto one last time. “Let’s head back to my house.”

Naruto nodded and began jogging in place by way of answer.

The two of them jogged quickly back to Iruka’s house with only the sound of heavy breathing and sandals slapping the ground with each stride between them.

When they got there, Iruka placed his palm flat against the door and sent a flare of [i]chakra[/i] into the door to deactivate his traps.

Naruto watched the familiar ritual with mild interest in his eyes. “Anything new?”

Iruka quickly thought about when the last time Naruto was at his house and any changes he’d made to his home’s security system since then. “I added another seal to the [i]chakra[/i] recognition seal that actually drains any unfamiliar [i]chakra[/i] and feeds it into the traps inside.”

Naruto looked suitably impressed. “That’s so cool Iruka-sensei.”

The [i]chunin[/i] chuckled at Naruto’s enthusiasm. Traps and seals had always just made more sense to Iruka than any other ninja skill, they’d always been easy for him. He was just never as impressed with his own work as others always seemed to be. “Thanks Naruto.”

Iruka turned and opened the door. He stepped inside and flipped on the lights. He moved over to his weapons rack and started pulling off the few things he’d put on this morning. As usual, he hadn’t needed them while on his run, but he wasn’t about to let the first day that he was attacked while jogging be a day he wasn’t carrying a weapon.

Naruto moved to the rack and began removing his own weapons.

It warmed Iruka’s heart that Naruto was finally beginning to feel comfortable enough in his home to move about freely in it. He’d bought the larger house on the edge of the village instead of staying in the bachelor apartments most of the other single ninjas stayed in thinking that one day maybe Naruto would want to come stay with him. But he hadn’t wanted to pressure him or impose by asking, and Naruto continued to renew the lease on his apartment every year without issue. He was still glad he’d bought it though; now that he had the space and privacy he enjoyed them to the fullest.

Iruka finished unloading his weapons quickly and turned to Naruto. “Would you like some tea Naruto?”

The question seemed to remind Naruto of why he was here and what he wanted to discuss and his shoulders slumped and the wattage on his smile dimmed somewhat. “Uh, yeah, that would be great Iruka-sensei.”

Iruka moved to the kitchen to start preparing the tea. He grabbed the kettle and called out to Naruto while it was filling with water. “Go ahead and make yourself comfortable on the couch Naruto.”

There was a muffled thumping noise as Naruto more than likely flopped on the couch, followed by a lot of indistinct rustling noises. “Thanks Iruka-sensei.”

The [i]chunin[/i] smiled again at Naruto’s antics while he finished preparing the tea. He pulled down two cups that had been his mother’s and poured the tea into them. The cups were beautifully designed with delicate cherry blossoms and butterflies on them and they reminded Iruka of home and comfort, so they felt appropriate for the occasion. He grabbed both cups and brought them into the living room where Naruto was indeed sprawled haphazardly on the couch.

As soon as Iruka entered the room, Naruto straightened up, sitting in a more conventional manner so that Iruka would have room on the other side.

Iruka reached out and handed Naruto one of the cups of tea. He was hoping it would calm the other man’s nerves somewhat, but he wasn’t sure. Naruto was acting far more skittish than he’d seen him in a long time.

Naruto took the tea with two hands, careful not to spill it. “Thanks Iruka-sensei.”

Iruka sat with his own cup of tea at the opposite end of the couch, comforted as always by the way he sank down into the overstuffed cushions and they cradled his body. “You’re welcome Naruto.”

Naruto sat staring into his cup, not drinking any and not saying anything more.

Iruka could tell Naruto had a lot on his mind and he didn’t know where to start. He waited for a few minutes trying to give the younger man plenty of time to put his thoughts together, but when it didn’t look like Naruto was any closer to speaking after several long minutes, Iruka decided to start the conversation himself. “You wanted to ask me something Naruto?”

Naruto didn’t look up at the question; he just continued to stare into his cup of tea tracing the intricate designs on it with a fingernail. “Uh… I’m not really sure how to ask.”

Iruka turned to face Naruto a little more and tucked his legs up underneath him. “It’s okay Naruto, I told you that you didn’t have to be embarrassed.”

The blond flinched like Iruka’s words had been a physical blow. “It’s not really that Iruka-sensei.”

Iruka took a sip of tea reflexively, not really tasting the liquid. Naruto’s strange behavior was really starting to concern him. He was almost positive this had something to do with Sasuke, but Iruka had never seen Naruto acting this desperate and lost about the issue before. There had always been more reckless determination in Naruto’s actions or words as opposed to this forlorn, hopeless looking behavior. “Then what is it?”

Naruto sighed deeply and continued to rub the tea cup with his fingernail. “I’m just not sure how you’re going to react.”

Iruka reached up and set his cup on the coffee table and then turned back to Naruto. “Oh.” He sighed and reached out to put a hand on Naruto’s knee. He wished Naruto could understand how much he cared about the younger man and how very little could ever change that.

He was pretty sure Naruto was trying to tell him he was gay, or at the very least bisexual. They’d had brief conversations about it before, but it had always been in a hypothetical sense, and they were more than likely Naruto’s attempts to gauge how Iruka would react to knowing Naruto liked other men. The younger man probably had no idea that Iruka already suspected that Naruto had feelings for Sasuke or that Iruka himself was gay. “Listen Naruto, I’ve seen and heard a lot of things in my lifetime, so I doubt whatever you have to say is going to shock me. And I want you to remember that I’m your friend. I like you and respect you as a person, and nothing that you have done or will do is going to change that Naruto.”

Naruto finally looked up from his tea and there was fear lurking in his bright blue eyes. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that Iruka-sensei.”

Iruka could completely understand that fear. He knew that if he were to reject Naruto for his sexuality it would be devastating to the teen. He squeezed Naruto’s knee slightly and tried to inject every ounce of sincerity he could muster into his voice. “Naruto, I know who you [i]are[/i]. I can see what’s in your heart, and you’re a good person and you care about your friends. In the end nothing else really matters as far as my opinion of you.”

Naruto looked back down to his tea cup and released an explosive sigh. “Okay…”

Iruka took the hint and backed off a little. He took his hand off the blond’s knee and leaned back over to his side of the couch. On one hand it would be easier to just bring it up himself and tell Naruto that he’d guessed about his feelings, but on the other he sensed in Naruto the need to do this himself. “So what did you want to talk about?”

Naruto went back to picking at the cup with his fingernail. “Not [i]what[/i] but who.”

Iruka sighed before he could stop himself, he had known this was coming but that didn’t make him any more ready for it. Maybe he should push the direction of this conversation a little. “Sasuke?”

The corner of Naruto’s lips lifted into something halfway between a sneer and a smirk and he gave a little snort. “How did you guess? I didn’t think I was being that obvious.”

Iruka reached up and tucked a stray piece of hair behind his ear. He wasn’t sure if Naruto was being facetious or not, but he decided to treat it like a serious question. He cleared his throat and spoke warmly. “You weren’t. But you forget I know you better than most and I’m not blind. It wasn’t hard for me to figure out who you were talking about when you asked me if I thought liking another boy as more than a friend was wrong.”

Naruto’s fingers tightened around his cup. “So do you?”

Iruka’s head tilted to the side. “Do I what?”

Naruto’s answer was barely a whisper. “Think it’s wrong?”

Iruka smiled patiently. They may have had this conversation once or twice, but they’d both been so vague to keep from revealing too much that apparently the subject hadn’t been put to rest in Naruto’s mind. “How did I answer you last time?”

Naruto finally set his cup down on the table, still never having taken a sip, and turned to face Iruka. “You said that being true to yourself is never wrong as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else.”

Iruka nodded and smiled. Those weren’t his exact words, but that had been the general point of what he’d said. “But there’s still something bothering you about that conversation isn’t there?”

Naruto looked down again and began pulling at the dried, dead skin around one of his fingernails, making it bleed, but he didn’t really seem to notice. “Yeah. Because I really don’t care what most people think about me, I’m used to weird looks and stares. But I do care what you think, so I wanted to know how [i]you[/i] would feel about [i]me[/i] if I… you know…”

The [i]chunin[/i] smiled again. He remembered being at the age where he was so unsure and embarrassed about his own feelings that he couldn’t even say them out loud. “If you liked Sasuke?”

Naruto flinched again, but then he looked up at Iruka looking both completely lost and resolutely determined at the same time. “Yeah.”

Iruka answered the question as casually as he possibly could, he wanted to make sure Naruto understood that this was not a big deal to him at all, that Iruka couldn’t care less if he was gay, straight, bi or into kinky stuff. Well, maybe he didn’t want details on the kinky stuff, he did think of the boy like a son and ignorance was bliss and all that. “I wouldn’t care at all.”

Surprise dripped from every pore on Naruto’s face. “You wouldn’t? Really?”

Now it was Iruka’s turn to smile self-mockingly. He’d tried to avoid this conversation for a long time, but perhaps it was time to inform Naruto about his own orientation. “It would be a little hypocritical if I did.”

Naruto’s brows furrowed in even further confusion. “Huh?”

Iruka smiled a little at Naruto’s confusion and he tilted his head toward Naruto conspiratorially. “Naruto, let me tell you a secret, even though it’s probably not too much of a secret.”

Naruto nodded enthusiastically. “Okay.”

Iruka smiled softly and prepared for the worst, even though he knew Naruto was at least bisexual and the news would probably be well received, he just couldn’t help that small twinge of fear that cropped up every time he told someone his most guarded secret. “Naruto, I’m gay.”

The blond’s face lit up and his excitement was palpable. “Really! That’s so cool!”

Iruka lifted a brow; he’d never had quite that response before. “It is?”

Naruto waved his hands around excitedly, fumbling for the words to get his point across. “Well yeah, I mean, now I have someone to talk to about…you know…[i]stuff.[/i] Cuz before, I mean… I thought maybe you might be cool with me being…like this, but now I know for sure, so I don’t just have to hint around and stuff.”

Iruka couldn’t help but smile, Naruto’s excitement was always infectious. “No, you don’t, and you can come to me and ask questions any time you want.”

Naruto smiled back gratefully. “Thanks Iruka-sensei.”

Iruka picked up his tea and took a sip before answering, enjoying the calming flavor of chamomile, knowing that this was just the beginning of a long and difficult conversation. “You’re welcome.”

Naruto turned to face Iruka more and a sly look slid over his face. “So do you like, have a boyfriend or anything?”

Iruka almost choked on another sip of tea. That wasn’t quite the first question he expected Naruto to ask, but he supposed it made sense. Naruto would want to know if it was possible to have a meaningful relationship with another man. He felt ashamed that his [i]completely[/i] fucked up love life was the only real example Naruto had to use as a model. He cleared his throat and managed to croak out a response. “No. Not right now.”

Naruto’s blue eyes glowed brighter. “But there’s someone you like, right?”

The older man set his cup down again. What on earth had he said that had given Naruto [i]that[/i] indication? Never mind that he’d immediately thought of Kakashi when Naruto had asked that, he’d already decided he didn’t “like” the [i]jounin,[/i] at least not in the sense that he wanted to be his boyfriend. “What makes you say that?”

The blond began picking at his fingernails again, this time scraping off the tiny drop of dried blood from a minute ago. “Just the way you answered that question.”

Iruka shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. He really didn’t want to bring Kakashi up. “If you say so.”

Naruto nodded as if Iruka had just confirmed something. “So then it’s someone I know. As long as it’s not Kakashi-sensei we’re good.”

Iruka just about swallowed his own tongue in shock. [i]God damn it…[/i] Sometimes Naruto was just too perceptive for his own good. It was several minutes before he could muster his best sensei tone of voice. “Naruto-“

A stricken look settled over Naruto’s face. “Please tell me it’s not Kakashi.”

Iruka frowned at the direction this conversation was going. It wasn’t going to be very subtle, but he supposed a change of subject was in order. “Weren’t we talking about you and Sasuke?”

Abject horror ran rampant in Naruto’s wide eyes. “Oh God! It [i]is[/i] Kakashi. Must. Get. Images. Out. Of. Brain.”

Iruka blushed and fought down the urge to yell. Naruto’s panic only increased Iruka’s embarrassment that he’d slept with Kakashi. Everyone knew what kind of guy Kakashi was, even his students, and the perception was that Kakashi was only interested in men who were easy. Sleeping with Kakashi would brand you as a slut faster than getting a job at a brothel. Even though most people had [i]also[/i] come to the consensus that the masked [i]jounin[/i] could seduce a monk out of his robes. Somehow Iruka managed to keep his voice even and hide his shame. “Naruto…”

Naruto shook his head violently and scrubbed the palms of both hands on his cloth-covered thighs like he felt dirty. He cleared his throat and abruptly latched on to the subject change. “Right, yeah, me and Sasuke.”

Iruka relaxed somewhat at the subject change. As hard as it was going to be to help Naruto wade through the emotional minefield that were his feelings for Sasuke, it was better than wading through his own minefield. “So what exactly do you want to know?”

Naruto stopped for a minute and when he finally spoke, his voice was slightly wobbly with emotion. “Why he keeps pushing me away.”

Iruka struggled momentarily with the urge to enfold the younger man in a hug. He and Naruto were close, but their relationship was complicated, they hadn’t gotten to the point where Iruka could openly show his concern and support by hugging Naruto when he was distraught. But the younger man just looked so devastated he couldn’t keep the empathy he felt for him out of his voice. “Oh Naruto.” It was already so painful to watch Naruto struggle with his emotions, Iruka didn’t want to continue, but he knew he had to. He sighed deeply and then took the plunge; there was no avoiding the conversation now. “Let me start by saying that I think you’d be good for Sasuke, and that I think you could make it work between you. He’s just going to make it as difficult as possible.”

A little growl escaped Naruto’s lips. “Bastard never makes anything easy.”

A small smirk found its way to Iruka’s lips. It always amused him how two people who fought so much and seemed to harbor so much contempt for each other could also have such strong romantic feelings for each other. “No, he doesn’t. But you’re willing to work for a relationship with him right?”

Naruto squared his shoulders and that same look of determination he often wore found its way back to his face. He looked like he was ready for battle, not discussing relationships over tea. “Yeah.”

Iruka nodded, that had been important to him. He needed to be sure that Naruto was going to be in this for the long haul. Through the good and the bad, because if he wasn’t and he gave up halfway through, it could be damaging to the fragile psyches of both young men. “Well then, let me give you some advice. Naruto, you’re generally pretty perceptive but I think in this case you’re letting your emotions cloud your instincts. I think you know what the main issue here is, but you don’t understand the [i]why[/i] of it, and you can’t see the big picture.”

Naruto’s brow furrowed and he was back to looking confused. “The big picture?”

Iruka sighed tiredly. There was so much Iruka had seen and knew about Sasuke, and most of it wasn’t pretty. If it had been anyone other than Naruto, Iruka would have been concerned that someone he loved had such strong feelings for someone who had the potential to hurt them so deeply. Naruto had been hurt so much already in his young life, he didn’t deserve any more pain, and even if things did eventually work out between him and Sasuke, Iruka could foresee much more pain and heartbreak in the future regardless.

But all that being said, Iruka still couldn’t imagine a person on the planet more perfect for Naruto than Sasuke, despite all of the youngest Uchiha’s issues. And Iruka also knew that if there was anyone who could reach Sasuke and save him from himself it was Naruto. It was just going to be so painful to watch both of them struggle through it. “Sasuke has [i]a lot[/i] of issues Naruto. It’s not just his fear of getting hurt that makes him so resistant to the idea of being with you.”

Naruto shrugged absently. “Okay, so what’s the problem?”

Iruka smiled slightly and shook his head. That was just like Naruto, identify the problem and barrel his way through it without a plan. “You know, the two of you are so alike, yet so different. That’s probably why you can’t see it.”

Naruto frowned at that. “What do you mean?”

It was quite distracting to watch Naruto’s face as they talked. Seeing all the emotions play so openly on the younger man’s features made it hard for Iruka to gather his thoughts so he chose to break eye contact and reach for his tea again as he answered. He stroked the side of the tea cup with his thumb and tried to channel his mother’s patient wisdom. “The two of you were alone for so long, you’ve both been through pain, betrayal and grief and you’re both trying to avoid ever feeling that way again. You’re just doing it, and dealing with your past hurt, in entirely different ways.”

Naruto began picking imaginary pieces of lint of his pants. “How so?”

Iruka took a sip of tea gathering his thoughts. [i]Help me say this the right way, Mother.[/i] “That feeling of abandonment made you crave meaningful relationships. You relentlessly seek out people who will care about you and accept you at all costs. And you’ll keep trying to get that acceptance no matter how many times you’re rejected.”

Naruto’s jaw tightened and his hands stilled on his lap. He didn’t say anything in response.

Noticing Naruto’s forlorn look, Iruka continued. “But you also openly accept anyone who wants to be close to you and you’re fiercely loyal to those you consider friends. It’s all just part of what makes you special.”

The blond’s fingers clutched at his thigh muscles as if he were bracing himself. “And what about Sasuke? You think he’s just going to push everyone away for the rest of his life?”

The question forced another sigh from Iruka’s lips. Iruka hated having to be the one to break this down for Naruto. “Sasuke’s so afraid of being betrayed and abandoned again that he refuses to open himself up to people who could ever hurt him that way again. The good news is he knows you have the potential to get to him. The bad news is that’s he’s going to shut down on you faster than ANBU under a security breach whenever you try to get close to him. But you already knew that. What I don’t think you get is to what extent he feels that way.”

Naruto looked at Iruka with his brow furrowed and his confusion evident. “I’m not sure I understand Iruka-sensei.”

Iruka shifted his gaze from the tense blond next to him to the window. He watched the leaves outside rustle in the breeze. They danced and moved and it seemed to Iruka that they were reaching up to the sun and longing to be free to blow in the breeze, while at the same time they clung to the safety and stability of being attached to the tree. It was as if they sensed that once they let go they would wither and die and be left by the breeze to be trampled underfoot. Or maybe that was just Iruka projecting. “Let me ask you a question Naruto. How would you feel if you and Sasuke were dating? Take your time and think about it carefully. Imagine being able to go places with him, train with him, talk openly with him, touch him, kiss him, just [i]be[/i] with him. Let those feelings and desires fill your mind.”

He paused there trying to give Naruto time to ponder the question, ignoring the fact that he could (and probably should) ask himself the same questions about Kakashi. He knew this was the only way he was going to get through to the blond. For all his bravado and brashness, there was still a lot of fear in Naruto. The younger man could be intensely afraid of his feelings sometimes. Iruka wondered if, for all his wanting Sasuke, he’d ever let himself think about what it would be like to finally accomplish his goal.

Naruto tipped his head back and closed his eyes. A tiny smile curved his lips as he thought in silence.

Iruka watched the emotions play over Naruto’s face for a few heartbeats before speaking again in a soft voice. “How does it feel?”

Naruto answered without moving. “Perfect. I’m so tired of holding everything I feel back. I just want to be able to let go.”

He looked so happy Iruka hated to continue, but it was for his own good. Iruka’s gaze worked its way back to the window. The leaves were still dancing with excitement and indecision. “Now, imagine that the two of you are dating and Sasuke hurt you. He cheated on you, he left you for someone else, he decided to take off after his brother, or worst of all he simply doesn’t want you anymore.” Iruka paused to take a deep breath. “Now how do you feel?”

The blond clenched his hands into fists and squeezed his eyes shut tighter. His voice was a little more raspy than usual when he answered. “Devastated. Empty. Angry. I want to hate him but I can’t.”

Iruka watched the leaves outside continue to shift and stir, everything looked so bright in the sunshine outside, it was easier than watching Naruto. This time Iruka knew that the things he’d just suggested were things Naruto agonized over constantly in his moments of self-doubt. “Okay, now imagine this. What if I told you, could guarantee you, that you and Sasuke would have five years together. Five wonderful years of that perfect feeling you felt earlier, but at the end of those five years that he would leave you for someone else. Would it be worth it?”

There was no hesitation from Naruto. “Yeah, five [i]days[/i] with him would be enough.”

Iruka looked back to Naruto. “I promise you Sasuke doesn’t feel the same way. That’s the difference between you and him, he’ll never allow himself happiness because he won’t ever think it’s worth it. You have to make him understand that it’s worth it. Don’t try to convince him that you won’t hurt him, because that’s just a waste of time. He’ll never fully believe it. You have to make him understand that whatever good times the two of you can make is worth whatever heartache may wait down the road of life for the two of you.”

Naruto tilted his head forward and met Iruka’s eyes. His voice sounded completely broken when he spoke. “I’m not sure I know how.”

Iruka sighed and reached out to put his hand on Naruto’s shoulder. He wished he could just give Naruto an easy answer, but life wasn’t that simple. “And that’s something I can’t help you with. But you don’t have to figure it all out today. I know that you’ll figure it out eventually. You know more about Sasuke than anyone else.”

Naruto broke eye contact to look down at his lap. “I’m not sure if I can.”

Iruka shook his head softly, it felt so [i]wrong[/i] to be faced with a Naruto that was so unsure and self-doubting. “Naruto, you’re the most determined person I know, if anybody can reach Sasuke, you can. That’s what it’s going to take more than anything else, you refusing to give up.”

When Naruto looked up, there was hope shining in his eyes, although it was mixed with a healthy dose of anxiety. “You think so?”

Iruka nodded and smiled, in fact he was positive that Naruto’s determination would be the [i]only[/i] thing that would reach Sasuke. “I do.”

Naruto returned the smile gratefully, but it was half-hearted at best. “Okay, thanks Iruka-sensei.”

Iruka’s smile faded a bit, there was still something else he had to say. “Naruto?”

Naruto tilted his head in confusion. “Yeah, Iruka-sensei?”

Iruka used all the skills he’d developed from years of teaching to make his voice both serious and comforting. “There’s a lot more that you need to think about and ask yourself, but we can talk about that another day. I get the feeling that all you really needed today was a pep talk anyway.”

Naruto nodded and smiled even more weakly. “Yeah.” He sighed heavily and his eyes dropped back to his lap. “I need to think about all of this more anyway.”

Iruka squeezed Naruto’s shoulder lightly before releasing it and returning back to his half of the couch. There was so much more to be said, they hadn’t even scratched the surface of all the problems between Naruto and Sasuke, but Iruka figured it was enough for today. He could tell Naruto was pretty emotionally drained and the conversation was starting to wear on him too.

Not only because it was painful to see Naruto in so much turmoil, but also because it had struck such a chord with his own inner turmoil. A lot of the advice he’d just given the younger man was resonating strongly with him as well, so he really didn’t mind trying to wrap it up. “Yes you do. Remember Naruto, Sasuke is like a wounded animal, frightened and wary. Anything you do that seems too sudden or too forceful may make him lash out at you or run away.”

Naruto nodded seriously. “I know.”

The blond sat there for a minute lost in thought and then he smiled and looked over at Iruka slyly. “So what’s the deal with you and Kakashi.”

Iruka issued a snort of derision and set his long forgotten cup of tea on the table again. He couldn’t believe they were back to this subject already. “There is no [i]deal[/i] with me and Kakashi.”

Naruto raised a brow. “Do you want there to be.”

Fighting down a blush for more than one reason, Iruka forced his tone to stay even. “No.”

Naruto issued a snort of his own, making his amusement plain. “Does he know that?”

The blush that had been threatening to take over Iruka’s face finally crept across his cheeks. He really hadn’t wanted to get into details with [i]Naruto[/i] of all people, but he supposed it was only fair since he’d just gotten up close and personal with Naruto’s feelings. “We haven’t talked since…”

Naruto waved his hand in a gesture that was a cross between dismissal and discomfort with the subject matter. “Since you slept with him?”

Iruka was shocked at Naruto’s boldness, he never thought he’d be discussing something like this so openly with the boy he might as well consider his adopted son. The teacher in Iruka reared its head and his eyes snapped with fire as he raised his voice in what he hoped was a reprimanding tone. “Naruto!”

Naruto shrugged. “What? I’m not as dumb as I look. I can put the pieces together.”

Iruka immediately felt guilty for getting upset at Naruto. He supposed it was his own defensiveness about the subject causing that. He worked at softening his tone. “Naruto, I-“

Naruto shook his head and interrupted Iruka. “Look Iruka-sensei. I know what I said earlier, but I was mostly kidding. I just want you to be happy, and I don’t care who with. But Kakashi-sensei… well, let’s just say for all his loyalty to his pack, he has no loyalty among his partners. And no one makes it into the pack once they’ve been in his bed.”

Iruka sighed. “I know. From what I understand, no one makes it into his pack period.”

That same sly look Naruto always wore when he was seeing more than was being said settled over his features making his eyes mere slits and his mouth a hard line. “And that’s why you’re breaking it off with him.”

Now it was Iruka’s turn to be dismissive. He shrugged one shoulder. “There’s nothing to break off. It only happened once. He implied that he’d like it to happen again, but I’m not agreeable to the terms. End of story.”

Naruto’s gaze flickered to the window momentarily then returned to study Iruka. “Hmm. I’m not so sure Kakashi-sensei will see it so clearly, but you’re about to get your chance to tell him.”

Iruka’s features scrunched up in confusion. [i]What was Naruto talking about?[/i] “Eh?”

Naruto shrugged casually. “I can feel his [i]chakra[/i] headed this way.”

Clenching his jaw, Iruka fought down a wave of panic. He was absolutely not ready to face Kakashi yet, especially with an audience. “Great.”

Naruto studied Iruka for a minute. “Do you want me to get lost?”

On second thought maybe having Naruto here would keep Iruka from stripping naked and spreading his legs before Kakashi could say ‘hello.’ Iruka shook his head a little too quickly not to look desperate. “No.” He brought one hand up to rub the scar over the bridge of his nose. “He could just as easily be looking for you.”

Naruto shot Iruka a look of disbelief. “Riiiight…”

Iruka answered that with a shrug. It [i]was[/i] possible, just highly unlikely.

A rather juvenile sounding giggle bubbled up out of Naruto’s throat. “I’m not the one he just had sex with.”

Iruka’s jaw dropped in horror and astonishment at [i]that[/i] mental image. “Well I would certainly hope not.”

Naruto giggled again. “No, he might be a pervert, but he hasn’t stooped that low yet.”

A knock on the door kept Iruka from answering that. The [i]chunin[/i] got up and deactivated the few traps he’d left active and then pulled the door open to reveal a masked, silver-haired [i]jounin[/i] with his only visible eye crinkled in amusement.

Iruka sucked in a breath at seeing Kakashi in the flesh, rather than in his fantasies, so soon after their last encounter. He looked even sexier than Iruka remembered and the [i]chunin[/i] itched to pull off the masked nin’s clothes and reveal that fantastic body underneath. The brunet stood there staring for longer than what was probably appropriate and he was ashamed to admit that he could feel his cock stir a little between his legs.

Kakashi closed the orange book he was holding and tucked it inside his vest for safe keeping. “Iruka-sensei, I’ve been looking for you.”

Iruka snorted and stepped back to let Kakashi enter. He was going to have to be more careful, he was going to have to dredge up all the frustration and confusion Kakashi had been making him feel the last few days and focus on that instead of how much he really wanted to see if Kakashi’s dick would taste as good this time as it did last time.

He sucked in a shuddering breath and channeled all his uncertainty and insecurity into his voice. His words came out just as biting as he intended. “Well, if you had difficulty finding me it’s your own fault, if someone wanted to find me, [i]where I live[/i] would logically be the first place they should look. It’s not like I was hiding.”

Kakashi stepped forward, but instead of moving past Iruka he stopped and bent down slightly, putting his lips right by Iruka’s ear. “Are you sure about that? I came by earlier and you weren’t here.”

Iruka swallowed loudly. [i]Damnit![/i] And he’d been doing so good too… But now Kakashi was [i]closer[/i] and Iruka could [i]smell[/i] him. He smelled like fresh grass, male musk and [i]Kakashi[/i] and it was a potently arousing combination. Iruka blinked to get his focus back. “I went for a run.”

Kakashi chuckled darkly and finally moved past Iruka, brushing against the [i]chunin[/i] as much as possible when he moved. “Running, hiding- it’s all the same thing. Either way I still get to hunt you.”

A series of gagging noises came from the area of the couch. Naruto had jumped up and was covering his ears with both hands. His voice came out in a strangled, choked rush. “And that would be my cue to leave.”

As dramatic as Naruto was being, Iruka thanked the heavens for the little distraction, because it allowed him some time to get some of his control back. And it reminded him that they weren’t alone. It would be totally inappropriate to kneel at Kakashi’s feet and beg him to take Iruka over the edge into Nirvana again with Naruto watching.

Iruka turned to face the blond and rolled his eyes. “Sit down Naruto.”

Kakashi raked his one eye over Naruto and drawled in a bored voice. “Yes Naruto sit, I just came by to ask if Iruka-sensei had any plans this evening.”

This only made Naruto more panicked and he began waving his arms around wildly and sputtering. “Oh my god! I do [i]not[/i] need to be here for you to arrange a booty-call! You can do that without me here!”

Kakashi sighed dramatically, sounding very put upon. “Stop your flailing Naruto. I just want to talk to Iruka-sensei, nothing more.”

Naruto sent Kakashi a pointed look. “Iruka-sensei would have to be an idiot to believe that, and we both know he’s not.”

Kakashi’s eye crinkled up in a smile again. “No, but you are. So shut up Naruto.”

Iruka decided he needed to intervene, so before Naruto could shoot back a remark, he interrupted their argument. Honestly Kakashi could be just as bad as his students sometimes. “Talk to me about what Kakashi-sensei?”

Kakashi turned back to Iruka and even through the mask it was obvious that he was leering at the brunet. “When I last saw you, I had to leave for my mission, we didn’t get a chance to finish our conversation.”

Naruto stood off to the side with his arms crossed over his chest, pouting and grumbling mostly to himself since both Kakashi and Iruka were ignoring him.

Iruka glanced Naruto’s way and then looked back at Kakashi. [i]Uh oh, this was trouble.[/i] Iruka knew that Kakashi didn’t want to come over just to talk, it was obvious he was talking about sex. “And you hope to finish it tonight?”

Kakashi leaned fractionally closer to Iruka. “If you have time available.”

Iruka could feel Kakashi’s warm breath on his cheek and he shuddered as he realized the two of them were standing close enough to kiss. And that was [i]so[/i] not what he needed to be thinking about right now. He needed to focus. Kakashi was basically asking if he could come over and fuck him tonight and he doubted melting into a pile of aroused goo was a suitable answer. He was supposed to tell him no damn it! And he would do well to remember why.

And one excellent reason was that while being totally sexy, Kakashi was also one crazy bastard. Iruka knew damn well that he wouldn’t have even come over here if he hadn’t already asked around and found out that Iruka had the night off. [i]Stalking a bit much?[/i] “If past behavior is any indication, you will have, of course, already found out that I do.”

Kakashi leaned closer still. “Maa. So I have. I just didn’t want to drop in on you uninvited or interrupt any other plans.”

Naruto squawked indignantly and threw his hands up in the air. “I swear to [i]god[/i] if this is code for sex I’m going to be [i]so[/i] pissed.”

Iruka ignored Naruto’s continued flailing and his comment, even though once again it had provided a timely interruption. Despite the fact that he was reluctant to be alone with Kakashi again, Iruka could use this. He could use this opportunity to tell Kakashi that he wasn’t interested in furthering their “relationship” before things dragged out any longer. He [i]had[/i] to break it off, before he got desperate and horny enough to give in. “I don’t have any other plans.”

Kakashi winked at Iruka. “Ah, but there is still the matter of me remaining uninvited.”

Iruka blushed wildly, he really needed to get a handle on his damn libido if he was going to give Kakashi the brush-off tonight. It would be entirely unbelievable that he was serious when he told Kakashi he didn’t want to have sex with him again if he did it while he was [i]humping his damn leg.[/i] “Alright Kakashi, come over tonight. We can finish our conversation then.”

Kakashi’s eye twinkled with mirth and a knowing light as he walked to the door. “I guess it’s a date then.”

Iruka followed Kakashi to the door. He flinched at the implication and was quick to correct Kakashi. This wasn’t going to be a date, it was going to be a breakup. “Not really.”

Kakashi bent down and whispered in Iruka’s ear. “We’ll see about that.” Then he casually strolled off down Iruka’s driveway in the vague direction of the street.

Iruka exhaled a shaky breath. He didn’t bother to reset the traps on the door before turning back to Naruto. That hadn’t gone exactly as planned, but at least it wasn’t a [i]complete[/i] disaster. What Iruka would classify as a complete disaster he wasn’t quite sure of, but it probably involved Kakashi, nakedness, and Naruto swearing he’d never talk to Iruka again due to the extreme trauma.

Naruto was standing there with his arms crossed and his eyebrows raised. “Nothing to break off huh?”

Iruka blushed and turned away from the scrutiny. He couldn’t talk about it yet, not when he was still so flustered by Kakashi’s words and his nearness and just his general sexiness. “It’s complicated.”

Naruto snorted. “Yeah, sounds like it.”