Who Am I Really(COMPLETE 5/4/10)

Chapter Warnings: Strong Language, talk of sexual harrasment, talk of talk of two women being together, Angst
Author Note: Okay folks sorry it took so long to update, my son is sick and all. But good news, because it took so long to update I'll be updating the next chapter tonight as well. In about two-three hours infact. Also this chapter is just about Sam's everyday life. This way you get a better feel for what it's like to be Sammuel Tanner multi-billionair. I hope you guys like the story feel free to R&R and tell me your thoughts. Love all you readers out there! *huggles* ^^

Chapter three: Starting Anew

"So you had another dream about them did you?" Sarah, his shrink, asked.

Sam sighed. "Yeah, it's weird but sometimes I feel like they want me to come back and they'll do what it takes to get it done."

The shrink nodded. "That is just you having troubles adjusting to this life again."

Sam nodded in return and brushed his hands through his hair. It didn't feel anything like the blond hair he‘d had, well he never technically had that. He glanced over at Sarah from the corner of his eyes. He’d been seeing her for about six months, three of them had been when he was in the clinker aka funny farm. She was nice, open, and she didn’t really make him think she was there for the money.

Sara was a beautiful brunette, long hair that fell in large spiral curls down her back, blue eyes, nice figure and she always wore casual cloths. Today she was wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of worn blue jeans a pair of running shoes on. He assumed that she refused to fit into the usual dress code that one would think a shrink should be in, but he’d never know for sure.

"I have a question." He announced.

"I may have an answer for you." She replied smoothly teasing him.

Her joking humor would have put him off before, he probably would have canned her and made sure she never found work again. Now though, it was nice to have someone harass him, seeing as everyone else was still horrified of him.

"Why did I imagine myself with blond hair and blue eyes?"

Sarah contemplated the question for a few moments tapping a pencil against her lips.

"Well blond hair is rather unique these days, and didn’t you say you're father had blond hair? That could be a factor since you turned your back on them. As for the blue eyes maybe innocence. I couldn't be sure. I can look into it for you if you'd like."

Sam shook his head, maybe some answers were best left unanswered. The father thing sounded reasonable though. His father definitely had blond hair, and generally was a fun loving guy. It made since that he would turn himself into him during a break down.

"Its strange to think that I made them all up, all their personalities and quirks." He spoke up after a moment of silence.

"Ah, your case is the most intricate I've seen thus far, or even read about." She commented.

Sam regarded her from the corner of his eye. "Really? Does that make me a freak then?"

She smiled at him and gave a small laugh. "Well if that helps you feel better about yourself go right ahead."

He gave her a toothy grin. "Maybe it will. Sammuel Tanner a physiological mystery. Ha I like that."

They shared a moment of kind hearted laughter, Sam always enjoyed hearing someone laugh. Her laugh was light and melodic, it always made him feel like a normal guy.

"You are nothing like you were when I first started to work here." She announced.

Sam glanced over at her. "Yeah, I was kind of an asshole."

She smiled at him. "Well sometimes change happens in the most unexpected ways."

Sam glanced down at his manicured nails and smooth hands, no calluses, no scuffs, nothing that would indicate years of hard work and fighting as an elite ninja. Maybe this was his opportunity to make a difference, but did he really want to? Would it change anything about how people looked at him? He had started to change his company standards, but it was more beneficial for him to do it. So technically him doing so didn’t mean a damn thing, he was still being selfish but in a more indirect way.

"Sam?"

He looked back up at her.

"Take things one day at a time. We'll figure something out together." She smiled.

Her smile reminded him of Sakura-chan, but she was no where near as brash. He smiled back at her.

"Yeah, thanks." He replied.

One day at a time was so frustrating.

*******

"So you've been apart of this company for fifteen years?"

"Ye-yes sir."

Sam had been at this all day, and he’d only gotten through twenty people. It was tiring, and frustrating, and just down right annoying. Every single person that walked in here was afraid of him, afraid to talk, afraid to breath even. Every one of his employees reminded him over and over again how much of a fucking prick he was.

"Mmm... what have you accomplished in that time?" He continued not looking up from the papers in front of him.

"You have my file sir doesn't it say?" He replied riscking his boss's rath.

"Indeed I do, but in the past months that I've been doing this at other locations I've found that the higher ups have taken credit that belongs to others. So what have you accomplished?" He said finally looking up at the man.

"I came up with the Westler model sir. I built the miniature and everything myself." He replied excitedly.

Sam looked over the file papers, flipping through each page and glancing for any note that this man had been the genius behind the model. Finding none, he flipped through a file containing management paper work and sure enough his senior had taken the credit.

"Looks to me that your boss Jensen did it,” he looked at the man’s file again to get his name. “John. So now the question is do you have proof that it is really yours?"

The man brightened. "Of coarse sir."

"You have one week to assemble it and come back to me to present it properly." He replied jotting it down on the file paper work and clicked his pen closed.

Sam looked back up at the man and smiled business like. The man nodded and all but ran out of his office. If the man could prove that it was his he'd fire the other guy and John would get a raise.

"Good luck John." He said to the closing door.

So many people to go through and his day was already half over. He sighed, dragging his hand down his face after setting his glasses on the desk. Changing himself was hard to do, before he didn't care where it had come from, as long as it made him money. Now though he had to change that. He'd experienced, no matter how fake it had been, what it was like to be the under dog.

His heart suddenly hurt as a wave of loss brushed over him. He would prefer to stay crazy and be with them some days. He placed his left cheek into his palm and stared at his computer screen. For him, his pretend world with all his pretend friends, and pretend hardships was so much better than this place. Sam closed his eyes as the thought that something was missing, something was just off. He couldn’t place it, but something, something was not as it should be. His mind snapped back to the moment as a knock was heard from his door, and another person opened the door walking in.

She smiled nervous and he smiled back placing his glasses back on his face. Holding his hand out indicating she take a seat he opened the woman’s file. Thankfully his secretary had lined everyone up in order of the files, he’d buy her a gift for doing such a good job he decided.

The woman with blond hair, a black dress skirt, and lavender blouse sat down in front of him. She placed her hands down in her lap to keep them from shaking but Sam caught the motion. Placing his hands laced together on top of his desk he sat up more straight.

“So why don’t you tell me a little about what you do here.” He began.

She nodded and began her explanation, Sam of coarse already knew what she did. He’d already glanced at her paper work, but he’d also found that some people didn’t even know what they were supposed to be doing. Some people had been hired under a title, just so someone else could get a piece of ass.

When her description didn’t match up with the title he sighed, and she stopped and looked down at her hands.

“That’s not what it says on the paper work is it.” She stated more than asked.

“No.” He replied scribbling something down.

“God.” She whispered.

“Are you sleeping with him?” He asked putting his pen down.

Her head shot up her eyes wide. “No!”

“Has he tried?”

She looked away, “A few times.”

“That’s sexual harassment and against company policy. Why haven’t you turned him-” Sam stopped when her body stiffened. His face got serious, “you already have haven’t you.”

She nodded and he sighed. “Okay who did you complain to, I’ll fire that guy to.”

“It was a woman.”
His brow rose to his hair line. “Really.”

“She was pissed, because it’s her husband and he wouldn’t do such things. But I tried to tell her that he uses some of the hotel rooms to have sex in. She slapped my face and told me to get out of her office.” The woman explained.

He took his glasses off and placed a hand over his face and groaned, “fuck.”

“I have proof, I understand that these things are serious accusations. My partner is a lawyer so,” She stopped when she realized she had outted herself.

“You’re a lesbian?”

She nodded.

He stared at her for awhile and then smiled. “That’s cool, don’t worry about it. Just get me that proof and tell your woman that you’re lucky to have her.”

She smiled relieved, “Of coarse Mr. Tanner.”

“His wife is getting fired regardless. Any complaint of sexual anything is to be taken seriously. It makes no difference if the accused turns out to be your husband.” He assured her.

“Thank you sir.”

“As for your job though,” her face fell. “I’m going to move you to the front desk. I have an opening there now. You seem to have the correct personality for such a thing. Your pay will drop of coarse but you can work your way up. If that doesn’t work for you, I’ll give you time to find a new job.”

She shook her head, “No Mr. Tanner, that will be fine I was front desk when I first worked here.”

“ All right, you can go now.”

She smiled and stood up leaving his office. Un-fuckin’-believable, he couldn’t believe that all this had been going on, that his money had been being wasted so that some asshole could possibly get some. He growled passed at himself. None of this would be happening if he had pulled his head out of his ass sooner, or better yet had never had it there to begin with.

********

He walked into his apartment and his keys clinked as he tossed them into a glass bowl. It had been a long four weeks down in New York on business, and he was happy to be back. Toeing off his shoes even if it was pretty unnecessary now. Apparently old imaginary habits died hard. With that thought he laughed at his own joke.

"Hunny I'm home!" He called out.

Ah that's right there was no one here, he was a lone, lonely, loner now. Tomorrow he would get a cat or something. A sassy cat, that would make him feel more at home. No, no, a male cat with an attitude problem, he'd name him bastard in memory of Sasuke. He chuckled to himself and walked towards his TV room. Yeah, Sasuke the cat, it was fitting.

He paused when he realized he wasn’t home all that often. How could he take care of a cat when he wasn’t home? Sam shrugged, he go looking anyway, and ask for some suggestions on what he could do and decide from there. He was tired of coming home to an empty living space, a cat would do him some good.

With that he nodded and continued on his way, happy for now and glad that tomorrow he was off. That and he was going to see Sarah and talk to her about some things that had been nagging at him for the past month. Hopefully she could help him untangle his thoughts and get down to the root of this odd feeling that he was…. forgetting something.

~TBC~