Altering Affection

Ordering flowers turned out to be a much more complicated venture than Lee ever would have suspected. There was the question of what type of flowers to send, which led to a long and rather painful discussion about flower types, their purposes, and the most popular flowers sent as gifts.

“Are they for your girlfriend?” The clerk asked.

“Ah, no…they are for my…well, I sort of hope he will eventually be my boyfriend…I think…” Calling Gai-sensei his “boyfriend” even in the most theoretical of ways made Lee blush twenty shades of red.

“Oh! Well, then!”

What followed was an excruciating account of every flower bouquet ever sent between same-sex couples…for any reason.

“And if you really want to send a message, you could always include a pack of condoms or maybe-“

“Just the flowers!” Lee squeaked.

Lee felt very fortunate that the entire transaction happened over the phone and with a flower shop other than Ino’s. Lee squirmed at the very thought of having such a discussion with Ino…or, God help him, Ino’s mother.

The time and delivery date were very important as Lee needed to be present when they arrived. Lee chose the following Wednesday, and it wasn’t until he hung up that he realized he would have to wait for two whole days.

By the time Wednesday arrived, Lee could jump start a car with his bottled nervous energy. He arrived at the dojo early, cleaned the front counter, organized the gear in the dojo, and then unrolled and re-rolled the mats. Gai’s assistant, Konohamaru, merely eyed Lee warily and kept clear of the energetic man.

“Lee, you’re certainly helpful today!” Gai-sensei commented as Lee straightened the awards on the shelves in the front office. For the third time.

Lee looked at the clock and willed the minute hand to move faster. The flowers would be here any moment. He swallowed.

“Lee?” Gai-sensei asked, concerned.

Lee turned and laughed, albeit a bit nervously. “I am sorry, Sensei. I just seem to have too much energy today.”

“Well, we’ll have to do extra laps later!” Gai-sensei grinned. “Help you burn some of that youthful enthusiasm!”

Lee smiled and nodded, but his mind immediately wandered to how, exactly, he’d love to burn some youthful enthusiasm. It was probably entirely too much to hope that once his beloved sensei knew how Lee felt, Gai-sensei would embrace him and…and…Lee’s mind stuttered at the thought of Gai-sensei’s mouth on his own. Lee’s lips started to tingle.

Blushing, Lee went back to straightening awards.

At exactly five minutes past three, Lee heard the door open to the front office. He turned from his dusting, (the next step after straightening, obviously) so fast he nearly got whiplash…

…to see Kakashi walk through the door.

Lee dropped his dust rag.

“Kashi” Gai said warmly. “I wasn’t expecting you today.”

“I was in the neighborhood. Wanted to return these.” Kakashi gestured to the stack of DVDs in his hands. “Iruka wanted me to tell you that if you loan me any more of the American Pie movies, he’s going to kick your ass.” He put the stack on the counter.

“But there are two more!” Gai protested.

“Hey – it’s your ass. But I warn you, Ruka’s feisty.”

Gai laughed. Kakashi grinned.

Lee wanted to sink into the floor. Of all the days and all the times WHY was Kakashi here? How could fate be so…so damned mean?

Truly, the thought of sharing the moment when Gai-sensei saw the flowers for the first time with Kakashi pained Lee physically.

And then, just like something in a tragic romance, the delivery man walked in.

“Delivery for a Maito Gai?”

Lee’s heart sputtered in his chest. The delivery man seemed to move in slow motion as he set the white box on the counter. Gai-sensei’s voice seemed to warble as he claimed ownership of the package. Kakashi pushed away from the counter and crossed his arms as Gai-sensei signed and the delivery man left. For a moment, Lee thought about going after him – just to escape.

Because, Lee realized, it wasn’t simply that he had to share Gai-sensei’s happy surprise with Kakashi. Nor was it that Lee would have to wait to tell Gai-sensei the flowers were from him – he could do that.

But Kakashi would know. The incredibly irritating and insightful man would know the flowers were from Lee. If the card didn’t give it away – oh God, what if Gai read the card aloud? - then definitely by the stricken look on Lee’s face; the fact that he was here obsessively polishing shelves.

Lee felt shame upon shame, and the torrent of emotions was upsetting. He didn’t know why Kakashi’s impending knowledge bothered him so much – not in a way that he could easily explain to others. It had something to do with the red rage that welled inside him when he thought about how Kakashi knew Gai-sensei in ways that Lee…well, did not. It had to do with fear; what if Gai-sensei thought the gift was foolish? What if both men did?

Irrational fear, maybe, (Gai-sensei would never be so cruel!) but there all the same.

The emotions were happening so fast, Lee struggled to identify them all. He was petrified and embarrassed and hopeful and eager…all at the same time.

Lee felt dizzy.

“Well, well,” Kakashi said. “What do we have here?”

“I didn’t order anything,” Gai said, frowning.

“Open it up, then. See what it is.” To Kakashi’s credit, he didn’t immediately look at Lee, who stood frozen and staring at the scene before him.

Gai made quick work of the box flaps. Lee saw the tops of flowers and now he felt Kakashi’s eyes on him.

Gai moved the box to the ground and then gently removed the green vase and the flowers from the box. He set them on the counter without comment. In fact, once Lee noticed Gai-sensei’s expression and complete silence, he started to sweat.

The arrangement was, actually, very pretty. Lee chose an assortment of irises, tulips, and alstroemeria. It was colorful and cheerful and not overly feminine. The vase was a solid dark green and covered in a bamboo stalk pattern.

“Flowers,” Gai-sensei said. And he didn’t sound happy – in fact, he sounded annoyed. Lee stared at his mentor in confusion. That wasn’t the reaction Lee wanted in the least.

“They’re pretty,” Kakashi said and shrugged. “Who’re they from?”

“Kakashi, if you did this as some sort of challenge, I will-“ Gai-sensei sounded beyond annoyed, now. He sounded angry. Lee trembled.

“Oh hell no!” Kakashi threw his hands up in self-defense. “It wasn’t me. And you’re the one who feels the need to challenge yourself around here.

“’sides,” Kakashi leaned closer to Gai and raised his eyebrows. “Do you have any idea what Iruka would do to me if he found out I sent you flowers and not him?”

Gai grunted. “Some,” he deadpanned.

“Is there a card?” Kakashi asked.

“Oh, I’m sure there is.”

“Gai, they’re not from her, read the card,” Kakashi said mysteriously. Lee frowned at the gray-haired man.

“How do you know who they’re from?” Gai asked, suspicious.

Kakashi sighed. “I don’t Gai, but that was years ago. I’m sure these are different.”

“It’s not my birthday, I have no anniversaries, I don’t-“ Gai-sensei argued.

“Gai – read the damned card!” Kakashi said through gritted teeth.

Lee’s heart pounded and his eyes followed Gai-sensei’s hand as he snatched the little white envelope out of its holder and ripped it open. Lee swallowed – it looked like he was going to hear Gai-sensei read the card aloud after all.

“’To the most amazing man I know from your most ardent admirer,’” Gai read.

Lee was quite proud of the wording, actually. The seconds seemed to drag while he waited for a reaction. Lee didn’t understand most of what was going on, but he did know that this moment was key to his plan.

“Probably from a student,” Gai said, his voice neutral. Lee couldn’t tell what his sensei was feeling.

“Are most of your students ‘ardent’ admirers?” Kakashi asked.

“From someone else, then,” Gai said and dropped the card on the counter.

“Gai-“

“Whoever they’re from, it doesn’t matter,” Gai said, his tone firm.

Lee felt like a bucket of ice water just got dumped over his head.

Kakashi looked up at the ceiling with an imploring expression.

“Why don’t you take them with you when you go?” Gai said. “Give them to Iruka.”

“Gai, I’m not going to give Iruka your flowers. Now would you just-“

“Thank you for stopping by, Kakashi,” Gai said, and he smiled one of those insincere smiles. Then he turned and made eye contact with Lee. Whatever he saw in Lee’s expression made Gai’s face flood with concern and something like shame.

“Oh, Lee…I…I am sorry,” Gai said. “I hope you won’t think too badly of me. Flowers are usually a wonderful gift. Just not for me.” Gai-sensei smiled, this one a little more genuine.

“I hope you’ll stay for the next class?” Gai said.

Lee just nodded, the irony of his sensei’s words not lost in the least. Lee swallowed.

“Wonderful – thank you, Lee”

And Gai walked out of the office.

Lee didn’t move and the silence yawned. The entire sequence of events contained so many levels of wrongness that Lee couldn’t sort them all. Gai-sensei wasn’t happy with the gift, he was irritated by it. Flowers were a poor choice. There was something about a woman in there, too, and did Gai-sensei actually tell Kakashi to take his present away? Give it to someone else?

Lee wanted to break something and then take a very long nap.

“Several years ago there was a woman who really wanted to…ahm, pursue Gai,” Kakashi said, his voice startling loud. Lee jumped and realized the man had approached him while Lee was lost in thought.

“Gai didn’t like the woman, and she didn’t like that at all. So she sent him flowers and cards that were rather cruel.” Kakashi’s face was serious, his eyes searching Lee’s face.

“But...” Lee rasped and then cleared his throat. “Did she…what kind of…how can you be cruel with tulips?” Lee struggled to try to put the pieces together and failed, still reeling from the complete annihilation of his perfect plan.

Kakashi sighed. “They were roses, actually.” The man shook his head as though clearing it. “But, Lee, the flowers weren’t mean, the cards were. They said…cruel things about her suspicions as to why Gai didn’t like her back. And she sent the things about once a week for a month.”

A few things fell into place in Lee’s mind. “Because Gai-sensei is gay? That’s why he did not like her, right?”

Kakashi rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Ah, yes, something like that.”

“So that is why he does not like flowers.” Lee frowned in concentration.

“Right,” Kakashi said and smiled.

“But the card was not mean,” Lee protested. “I heard it, I mean…it was…not mean.”

“Gai is a complicated man,” Kakashi said and sighed. “Overly so, sometimes.”

Lee nodded thinking that Gai-sensei certainly did seem more complicated now than he did yesterday.

But, Lee noted, now he knew more about his sensei than he did earlier, and that was a bright spot in the dark. Lee quickly shoved aside the emotional turmoil and tried to simplify. No, things didn’t go according to plan, and yes the last few minutes were some of the most painful of Lee’s twenty years of life, but it wasn’t all bad. Sure, the flowers were an abysmal failure, but that didn’t mean other gifts would be.

Lee straightened a bit as a spark of hope ignited in his brain. Of course! He could try something else. Lee couldn’t just let things lie like this, after all. He needed to find the gift that would make Gai-sensei happy so that Lee could set the stage to tell his sensei how he felt.

Lee looked at Kakashi, fierce determination in his gaze. “Thank you for telling me about Gai-sensei. I will value the knowledge and your kindness.”

“Ahm, you’re welcome, Lee,” Kakashi said, unsure.

“I must go now, sir. I have…things to do – a class to help teach!”

“Oh boy.” Kakashi looked faintly worried and more than a little tired.

Lee bowed and raced off to the dojo. Training would help clear his mind so that he could plan his next move. He would find the perfect gift to help Lee express his love or he would do 1,000 standing push-ups!

~*~