Muse

AN: Sorry AFF’ers, I kind of got rather pissed off at this place and forgot about it. This fic is actually completely finished, I just haven’t coded all the chapters. It’ll probably be a slow process D:


xxxxx
3
xxxxx

“Gaara, baby brother, you got played.”

Confused, the redhead flopped down on his couch at the apartment, crossing his feet together “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” the voice of his sister sounded a mix between amused and slightly annoyed “Matsuri played you. She guilt tripped you into that date, you realize that right?”

Oh. Right. “Yes,” he sighed, he had indeed come to the conclusion that she had tried to manipulate him into the date, knowing how he felt about their friendship and how he wouldn’t just let her walk away. “I’m just going to hope that she doesn’t go back on her word. I really don’t want to lose our friendship.”

“Well, if she’s going to be like that maybe she’s not as good of a friend as you thought.” Temari sounded rather nonchalant about it.

“She had been really supportive during my artist’s block,” he sighed slightly “and I do like her –“

“Just not in the romantic sense.”

“Yes. If nothing else she is like…a little sister. That is the best way I can put it. She is cute, energetic and positive. We’ve been friends for almost five years and for me that’s…you know.”

Her tone sounded sad “Yeah, I know. It’s hell trying to sort out the good people from the bad people when it comes to you, Kankuro and I have always hated that.” A small pause “I’ll talk to Matsuri. I won’t say anything harsh but I will let her know I don’t like what she did. You’re right, she’s a good kid, just eccentric.” He could hear the smile in her voice “So, about this girl. You sure it’s that girl you were obsessed over for like, two years?”

“It…I wasn’t obsessed,” his face began to heat in embarrassment “it wasn’t as if I had tried to track her down or anything –“

“Well, that would have made you a stalker.” Temari laughed a bit “Seriously though Gaara, you drew and painted I don’t know, over a hundred pictures of her? I’d call that obsession.”

“I’d prefer if you use the term ‘fascination’. I was fascinated by her. In any case, she actually remembered me, even though we had never even introduced ourselves.”

“Really?” there was genuine surprise “Wow, you must have made an impression on her then. I mean, how many people would remember someone they hadn’t even met eight years after seeing them through some random encounter? Anko told me she set you two up on a date. How did that go?”

“Horribly at first, I was so awkward around her but…” leaning back he looked up at the ceiling “she was very understanding. In fact, she seemed as awkward and shy around me as I was with her. She’s a novelist, I told her I’d like to read one of her books so perhaps when we meet again she will bring one. I brought her to the studio and showed her my most recent paintings.”

There was a small pause “Wow, you really do like this girl don’t you? You never let anyone look at your work before showcasing.”

“She was my muse, it seemed only fair.” He smiled slightly “When I showed her the paintings I realized how badly I wanted her opinion, I wanted to know what she thought.”

“What did she say?”

“She said she loved them and she fell in love with my latest painting. It’s not even finished yet it had been her favorite. I’m going to give it to her after the exhibition.”

“Hold up. Did you just say you were going to give it to her?” his older sister couldn’t believe what she was hearing “As in, for free?”

“Temari, she’s the reason that painting even exists, if I would want anyone to have it and enjoy it I would want it to be her.” It wouldn’t be the first time he had given away a painting, but the ones he had given had all been to his family. “Anyway, after that I sat down and played for her my favorite song that I had written about her.” He hesitated “She…I’ve seen people moved to tears at my playing at times but…I ended up telling her that I had wrote it because of her.”

“Gaara,” her voice sounded worried and slightly awed “you really like this girl, don’t you? You’re really not joking around about this.”

He put a hand through his hair, sighing “I…I don’t know. All I know is that when I first saw her I had been absolutely captivated with her. Eight years later I see her and it was as if all of those feelings came rushing back even stronger than before. I’ve always felt that the term ‘love at first sight’ was rather unrealistic but…”

“Well, it sounds like she’s interested in you as well. Anything else happen?”

“I…um…” he sighed, knowing what was about to happen “I almost kissed her.”

“What?” he removed the phone from his ear when she yelled “You serious?”

“I can’t explain it. After I played that song she…gave me this look and I…reacted. I-I think she wanted to as well. That was when Matsuri stopped by. When she left I asked her to dinner and she agreed. I gave her my number. Speaking of that, I need to contact Anko and have her give me Hinata’s number.”

“Huh.” For a moment it seemed that his sister had no words “Well, if you want my honest opinion, I definitely think she likes you. Go out on a few more dates with her and then if things go well ask her to go steady with you. She sounds like a nice girl. You really sure she doesn’t know how famous you are?”

“I don’t think so at all,” he shrugged “Anko told me that Hinata had no idea what I did for a living and all she told her was that I painted and composed music. When I told her that I had performed at concerts before she seemed genuinely impressed and surprised. I’m not going to tell her, not yet anyway.”

“That’s probably a good idea. Where you taking her for dinner?”

“I was thinking Oasis because it has that view of –“

“Oasis?” she cut in “Wow, you’re really going to take her to that fancy place? You think she’ll have any dresses to wear?”

He hadn’t thought about that. Gaara honestly had no idea what Hinata’s financial situation was. “I’m sure she has something and if not…maybe I could buy her a dress. Or something. Anyway, I’m free practically all of next week, I was going to ask her if she’d like to go early on. I know that’s not really a lot of time for reservations but…”

She laughed lightly “But you want to see her again as soon as possible.”

“…Yes. I sound like some lovesick teenager, don’t I?” he put an arm over his eyes, feeling a little foolish.

“A little, but it’s really cute. It sounds like you two could really hit it off so if you do what I suggested you’ll probably be good. Don’t worry too much over it; it’s obvious that she likes you at the very least.”

Go on a few more dates and then if all goes well ask her to be his girlfriend. That seemed safe and logical. It wasn’t rushing, they’d get to know each other a little better, he could work with that. “I’ll do that, thank you Temari.”

“Sure thing, little brother. Take care.”

xxxxx

Walking into her favorite bookstore Hinata felt as if she were floating. Yesterday she had went on a lunch date with the boy from eight years ago and she was definitely crushing hard. He was handsome, intelligent, talented…amazingly so. She had never really been that big into art until she saw those beautiful paintings of his. The fact that he was actually going to give her one made her feel really happy. She had a feeling it wasn’t something he did often.

What had touched her most was when he had played the piano for her. While she didn’t exactly listen to the Classical genre she didn’t mind it either. That song, however, that song had been...she couldn’t even describe how it had made her feel. Hinata had been honest when she said it had felt as if the song had been calling to her; there had been so much feeling and emotion that she had actually been moved to tears. Well, she had always been very sentimental and she was that person who cried during sad scenes in movies.

“The song is about you.”

The admission had truly stunned her, he had written that beautiful song about her? It had been the most beautiful song she had ever heard played and she had been the reason he had written it. Being rendered ‘speechless’ wasn’t a strong enough word for what she had felt. Right then and there she knew that she was growing feelings for him, feelings that went beyond just the physical. She wanted to see him again, the sooner the better. Hinata wanted to really get to know Gaara, even though he was horribly shy – which really was cute as opposed to anything else – he was an amazing person to her so far.

And he had almost kissed me…

While she wasn’t a mean or temperamental person she had to admit she had felt really irritated when his friend had shown up right as they were about to kiss. It was probably too fast but at the time she had found herself unable to care. There seemed to be some sort of pull or connection between them that was quickly dragging them in. Even when his friend had jumped all over him she hadn’t felt jealous, it had been obvious who he was romantically interested in and she had felt so flattered and happy. The only reason she had left was because it seemed that the two of them had something important they needed to discuss. When he had asked her to dinner she practically…

“Hi. Na. Ta.” A male voice cut into her thoughts, a hand waving in front of her face. “Earth to Hinata, are you there?”

Blinking, she realized that she was standing at the counter and turned to face her friend Uchiha Sasuke. The bookstore was empty during this time of day, which she was grateful for because she probably would have looked foolish had there been a customer waiting.

“Ah…I’m sorry.” She gave him an apologetic smile and he raised an eyebrow at her, looking slightly amused. “I was…I was thinking…”

He snorted, crossing his arms “Obviously. From the way your face is turning red it has something to do with a guy, doesn’t it?”

Shyly she looked down at her feet and gave him a small nod. “Um…I went on a date with someone yesterday.” Her pale gaze met his dark one “I think I might really start liking him.”

Looking mildly interested he gave her a small smirk “What’s his name and what does he do?”

“His name is Gaara and he’s a painter and composer.”

This time both brows rose. “He actually makes a decent living?” when she nodded he made a small thoughtful noise “The name actually sounds familiar but I don’t remember from where.” He shrugged it off “Anyway, if that’s the case why don’t you invite him to come out to dinner with us in the next few weeks? It’s Naruto’s idea and the idiot wants it to be ‘couples only’ so no one feels like the left wheel or whatever the hell ever.”

“Couples only?” Hinata frowned in confusion “You have a girlfriend Sasuke?”

Her long time friend gave her a really strange look. “Are you serious?” his tone sounded disbelieving and honestly surprised. “Hinata, I’m gay.”

Her mouth dropped and she just stared at him. “Y-you are?” she had been friends with him since their freshman year of high school and she had never known “S-since when?”

This time he actually laughed at her “Idiot, I’ve never been into girls.” The strange look returned “You honestly didn’t know? I mean, everyone knows, it’s never been something I kept a secret. Hell, when I told my parents they told me that they would have been surprised if I had told them I was genuinely straight.” He shook his head at her, as if he were dealing with someone ridiculous “Actually, I wasn’t attracted to any gender until High School, dating hadn’t been something I had been interested in before then.”

There were no words. She just stared at him as if an alien had just sprouted out of his head and he continued to look genuinely amused. He really was gay? Why hadn’t she ever noticed? How did everyone but her know?

I’ve never seen him dating any guys or even looking remotely interested in them…maybe that’s why.

“I…I really didn’t know.” She confessed “A-and I mean I never would have been able to tell…you…um you don’t…”

“I don’t act like the stereotypical gay guy?” he supplied and her eyes widened in horror.

“I didn’t…” she began, hands flying to her lips “I wasn’t trying to…”

He raised a hand to stop her “Hinata, you don’t have a malicious bone in your body, I know you weren’t being offensive. I’m pretty comfortable being a man so I don’t see the point in acting like a woman and to be honest I’m not really attracted to guys that are like that. If I wanted to date a woman I’d date a woman.”

“O-oh.” Her mind was still reeling from this new bit of information. He just…she knew he had never really dated women or seemed attracted to any, but he hadn’t seemed interested or attracted to anyone. For a while she had seriously thought he was asexual or something. “Um, s-so who um…who is your boyfriend?” Why does that sound so weird?

It wasn’t that she had a problem with it, it was just…it was Sasuke and he was so gender neutral it was painful. Secondly, until this recent revelation she had never been around or met a gay guy, it had just never happened. Shaking her head, she tried to reboot her brain to process this new shocking bit of information.

Something dark crossed her friend’s features, dragging her out of her thoughts. He turned from her then, reaching for something behind the counter. For a moment he had looked upset. Not quite angry but definitely not happy. When he stood back up he placed a bundle of books on the counter “Your reserves.” It was said flatly and her look grew concerned.

“Sasuke?”

The slight scowl remained for a bit longer before he let out a frustrated sigh “You don’t want to know.” When she gave him a look that clearly showed she was completely confused he shook his head “Look, if I tell you it’s not something you can repeat around certain people, understand?” it seemed that the more he thought about it the more irritated he became.

“Sasuke, you know I would never do that. If you don’t want me to tell anyone I won’t.”

Dark eyes studied her face for a long moment before responding “It’s your cousin.”

Her eyes grew as wide as saucers “Neji –nii –“

Quickly her friend slapped a hand over her mouth from behind the counter “Shit, Hinata, could you say it a little bit louder, I don’t think the rest of the block heard you quite clearly.”

Face growing hot she, once again, was at a loss for words when he removed his hand. Her cousin was gay? Well, that was a little bit more believable, he did look rather pretty and he could be a real asshole about his conditioner when anyone touched it, it was ridiculous.

But try as hard as she might, she couldn’t ever remember seeing the two of them together. Ever. And whenever the two of them were hanging out with their little group they had seemed to hardly notice each other’s presence. When Sasuke noticed her confused expression his gaze once again darkened and he looked away from her.

“Let’s just say he hasn’t ‘come out of the closet’.” He told her as if reading her mind “He’s terrified of your family finding out and disowning him. His dad’s finally got his little company going and he wants his son to take it over eventually.” His tone was very flat and his face was carefully blank, meaning that he didn’t want to outwardly show how he was feeling.

“I…that makes sense,” her hands brushed over the small stack of books she had preordered “our family is really huge on descendents and with Neji-niisan being uncle’s only child if he knew that Neji-niisan was um, basically never going to have children he’d be considered worthless to the family.”

“I’ve heard all of that.” He said flatly “Anyway, the dinner is going to be over at Sakura’s cabin if you want to go.”

He was really upset, despite his blank face and flat tone. She moved to say something else when she felt strong arms wrap around her middle and a familiar scent hit her. Turning, she looked up at her ex-boyfriend and Sasuke’s older brother Itachi. As usual her stomach fluttered at the closeness and she was only glad that she was already flushed. “You’re working today.” She says in greeting.

He pulls her closer “Mm.” and there was that deep, silky voice of his, the voice that captured the hearts of women everywhere. “Yes, and I must admit my day has now become quite outstanding. Picking up reserves?”

She nods, giving him a soft smile. The two brothers owned the bookstore, it had been passed down to them by their late uncle and since the two had always enjoyed reading they figured they could handle it. So far they were doing rather well “I um…just found out about Sasuke’s um…”

“Sexual prefernece?” he asked, looking and sounding very amused. Shyly she nodded and turned her head away. “Don’t mind him; he’s just upset because he hates the fact that they have to keep their relationship so under wraps. He’s a rather spoiled child, our parents had known for years that he’d probably turn out that way so when he finally told them they had already had years to prepare themselves. He doesn’t understand the trials and tribulations someone like your cousin has to face.”

“Whatever.” The younger brother sounded as if he really didn’t give a damn “And don’t let Itachi fool you, he’s about as straight as a circle, he just goes both ways.”

Her brain was now fully overloading. Why hadn’t she known about any of this? Why was she the only one who hadn’t known? “H-he is?” was all she was able to chirp out.

Turning her to face him, Itachi tilted her chin up to face him, giving her one of those enigmatic smiles “Don’t listen to my brother,” he dipped his head “he knows I only have feelings for you.” His lips brush against hers and as always she felt her heart beat faster and her stomach felt fluttery. Hinata had absolutely no idea why Itachi had broken up with her a year ago when he continued to flirt and say things that obviously showed that he was still interested. It wasn’t that she had stopped loving him either…but she felt herself being strongly pulled toward the redhead and she really didn’t want to resist.

Then he pulled away from her and walked over to the counter, leaning against it slightly “Hinata, I do believe that out of our little group you are perhaps the only straight individual.” He told her “Everyone else is either bi or gay.” A thoughtful look came over him “At least, I’m pretty sure Sakura isn’t a lesbian…” It sounded as if he were talking more to himself than to her. “In any case, I have no idea how you never noticed it, we never tried to hide it from you.”

She just stared at him. Her brain had officially shut down and rebooting was simply not possible. Had she been living in denial or what because she had never, ever noticed it. It wasn’t like she cared in a negative sense, it was just surprising. Really, really surprising.

“So anyway,” Sasuke cut into her thoughts again “You going? Everyone’s going to want to meet your new boyfriend anyway.” The younger brother’s eyes slid over to the older with a smirk at his statement.

Itachi blinked once, otherwise he continued to look stoic “You have a boyfriend?” he sounded almost shocked and it actually made her feel a little miffed.

“He’s not m-my boyfriend but…you don’t have to sound so surprised.” She sounded almost pouty.

The older Uchiha smiled “My apologies, I was not trying to offend. So I take it then that if he isn’t a boyfriend that he’s a prospective one, yes?”
Picking up her books she pulled them to her chest, trying to fight off a blush “I’d…that’d be nice. I’m really starting to like him. He asked me to dinner yesterday.”

“Hn. Might I trouble you for a name?” if Itachi was upset about her having feelings for another man he certainly didn’t sound like it.

“Oh, it’s Gaara.”

Recognition registered “Sasori’s cousin? You mean Sabaku Gaara?” when she nodded he actually looked impressed “Well, you certainly know how to pick them, he’s rather famous in the art and music community.”

“He…he is?” He hadn’t mentioned it, just that he had been in concerts and was holding an art exhibition.

Her ex-boyfriend actually seemed surprised that she didn’t know “Hinata, Sabaku is considered a genius. At four years old he made his first art debut and became an overnight sensation. At five years old it took him a single day to learn how to play the piano. In fact, one of the reasons why he’s considered a musical genius is because you can hand him any instrument, any at all, and he can play it expertly. I’m surprised he didn’t say anything.”

“He probably doesn’t like to brag, unlike some people.” Sasuke came in dryly “Some geniuses don’t flaunt it.”

Itachi raised a regal eyebrow “What’s the point of being a genius if you simply keep it to yourself? Besides, it’s not exactly my fault that I’m an academic genius, blame our parents.”

“Um,” both brothers turned to Hinata “I um, I think my brain is done for today with surprises so…I’m going to go now.” Her voice sounded far away and she slowly walked out of the store, dazed. All of her friends held different sexual orientations, her friend was a genius, her cousin was gay, hell, her ex-boyfriend was bi and she had never even known! It wouldn’t have mattered but still she would have liked to have been clued in at least. Seriously.

No wonder they’re always calling me ‘innocent’. She mused.

Hinata was going to go home. She was going to go home and sit on her couch for a while and allow everything she had just learned to sink in. Then she would take a really long bath and continue to let it sink in. Then she’d curl up on her couch again and try to read a book and hope that by then her brain would have properly rebooted and would once again function correctly. The bit about her cousin being gay had already sunken in, it really wasn’t that hard to believe.

I won’t tell Gaara about what Itachi told me, he didn’t mention it for a reason and I’ll respect his wishes.

xxxxx

“You’re an idiot, I hope you understand that.” Sasuke told his brother after Hinata left the store “You’re seriously going to just let her hook up with another guy?”

Crossing his arms, the older brother sighed slightly “You believe I should do something else?”

Tilting his head, Sasuke eyed Itachi as if he were some sort of strange species of human that he’d never seen before “Aren’t you in love with her?”

He closed his eyes briefly “Yes, which is why I won’t pursue her.” When his brother gave him a ‘what the hell’ sort of look Itachi shook his head “Sasuke, I broke up with Hinata for Sasori. To that degree I gave up any real right for me to be with her after that. Eventually, she would have found out the truth and it would have created heavy insecurities and I wouldn’t be able to blame her.” He waved a dismissive hand in the air “It’s better for all this way, I believe.”

“Yeah, whatever. You say that but I bet you’re mentally kicking yourself in the ass for breaking up with Hinata for Sasori of all people. That was a rather big dick move. You dated her for two years and you and Sasori lasted what, a month? Did it even make it to a month, I could have sworn it was two weeks or whatever –“

“It was exactly two months,” he informed his brother “and yes, I do realize that what I did was quite possibly the most foolish move I could have ever made.” He sighed a little dramatically, shaking his head “I blame my fetish for redheads.” A thoughtful frown emerged “Hn. I do believe his cousin also has red hair, but I could be mistaken…”

Sasuke snorted, ducking behind the counter for something “I seriously doubt he’d leave Hinata for you. He’s not stupid. Hell, I wouldn’t have left her if I were straight. I mean, if I had to go straight for anyone…”

“Thank you, Sasuke, shall I hand you some more salt for the wound?” he cut in, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Standing up he pulled over the rack of un-scanned books and shrugged “I’m just saying.” Grabbing the scanning gun he shot his brother a brief look “You at least got some before you got a case of The Idiot right? Because if you didn’t -”

“Although it’s really none of your business, yes, our relationship had been an intimate one and I will not answer any questions concerning comparing the two.”

“I wasn’t going to ask, I already know the answer.” It was very obvious Sasuke was enjoying messing with his older brother at this point.

“Well, I suppose it’s better than a six year long off and on relationship.” It was a rather low blow and he knew it, Sasuke really didn’t know just how deep his feelings for the little Hyuuga went. His brother didn’t know that the jokes actually hurt.

“Yeah well…” his brother scowled “Whatever, never mind.”

Now his brother had his full attention “Sasuke?” the concern in his voice was genuine. The two males had been dating on and off since high school and, while no one knew it, Neji was the only person his little brother has been with. Whenever their relationship did grow cold it was normally because Sasuke would become irritated at being unable to do anything in public with his own boyfriend, as if the other was ashamed to be seen with him. Eventually the two would make up some way or another and then the cycle would repeat itself. This time, looking at his little brother he had a feeling that Sasuke had had enough.

“I said forget it.” It was said flatly, meaning he was indeed quite upset.

After a moment Itachi stood up straight and regarded his little brother “While I do sympathize with Neji’s situation, if you have been unhappy all these years perhaps it is finally time to move on. Even when he starts working for his father he’ll still –“

“I know.” He snapped “I know that and to be honest I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired of hiding behind fucking shadows and sneaking around like a fucking ninja just to spend a few hours with him. The shit is old and it’s not me” he scowled after a moment of thought “Don’t worry about it.”
His little brother hated the fact that the person he truly cared for seemed ashamed of being around him. Anyone in any relationship would feel the same way and in the end Neji would have to decide which is more important: the company or his boyfriend? After six years of waiting Itachi figures that his brother knows the answer already. “I apologize for my earlier comment, little brother. I wasn’t aware it had become that serious.”

Another shrug “I was being an asshole about your situation with Hinata so whatever.”

“Hm. Sasuke, do you think that if you truly did try to move on that perhaps it would make him take the situation more seriously?” it was quite obvious that Sasuke was in love with the other, although he’d never ever admit it. He found himself wanting to help “He’s become comfortable with the fact that no matter what you aren’t going anywhere.”

“Itachi,” he stopped scanning books and the look on his face was dead serious “I shouldn’t even have to do something that underhanded. Honestly? It’s not worth it anymore. If I move on I’m moving on and he can find someone else to be his fucking closet lover, I’m done.”

“Ah. So you are breaking up with him.” It was not a question.

“I already did.” He muttered “He just won’t find out until he goes home and checks his e-mail. I figured since our entire relationship has been fucked up pulling a Dear John letter was a good way to end it.”

As if on cue the younger Uchiha’s phone began to buzz. Looking rather apathetic he glanced at the incoming call and then pressed the ignore button. Then he turned off the phone and tossed it underneath the counter.

Yeah, his brother was definitely done. The fact that he had stuck with it for as long as he had honestly was surprising to Itachi, Sasuke was not known for his patience or tolerance.

In a few days, if that, the drama would start to unfold. Calls would be made, friends would try to talk and mediate. Everyone would think that it was just his little brother once again at his limit for the moment. Looking at Sasuke and the grim yet determined expression on his face he knew nothing short of Neji actually publically accepting their relationship would bring them back together. That meant they were done for good. Itachi really could sympathize with the other male’s situation, he was in a rock and a hard place but life wasn’t always easy and one couldn’t always have their cake and eat it too.

Everyone had their limits, his little brother had finally reached his.