Amnesia

Just so you all know, nothing’s dropped, I’m actually working on ‘What Sasuke Wants,’ URaA, and ‘Three Deadly Little Words’ right now. They all have difficult to write scenes. I have one more new story to post soon and I’ll have another in about two months (I try to have more than one chapter ready to go before I post a new story). One problem is the changes at adultfanfiction which used to list stories in the author profile by the last time they were edited and that’s how I kept on top of things, but now it’s by when they were first publish—that doesn’t help me. So I’ve made a list of my own so I can try to keep up with things. Hopefully, one of the aforementioned stories will be the next updated, if not, it’s Hopelessly, De Oppresso Libre, Amnesia, or the new story.

And btw, I’ve been a little down over the number of reviews. I hope it’s just because some of you are starting school (yes, I’m past that, I’m 28).

Masy: *Evil smile*
The Smiling Fox: I can put a cover image on fanfiction now. ^_^ How Sasuke lost his virginity will be discovered later. Until then it’s going to bother the shit out of Kakashi.
Rosebunse: There is a level of creepiness to Kakashi in this one, but not that much. Yeah, I should write an out and out creepy one, but I am working on one where it gets sort of creepy. The name of that story will be ‘Triangles.’ Odd name, I know, but it fits, you’ll see.
ReaperninHiro: Shikamaru—who is rarely wrong—disagrees.
Nimbafuu: Oh, thank you! Yes, sometimes you write yourself into a corner and sometimes it’s difficult to get the words to flow, but I do love it so and making people happy or die of nosebleeds is my greatest reward. ^_^
Prescripto13: ^_^ Considering how sexual things got so quickly, the mother thing is kinds creepy in retrospect.
Nazrita: Honestly, this was going to be a shorter story, so that’s why the sex came up so fast. But it only lengthened by two chapters. Story’s done in my head, just not fully written.
Aguna: Thank ye!
xXMiyakoXSasukeXx: It’s not until October, but I hope it will be awesome! I’m a huge of Shungiku Nakamura and I hope she has a booth full of manga, anime, and toys! *squeel of excitement!*
wikedsinn: Your wish is my command.

----------

Kakashi knew this was wrong in so many ways, but Sasuke was willing. Underage, innocent, his former student, easily taken advantage of, but oh so willing.

When he first came to Kakashi’s house, Sasuke was barely strong enough to lift his arm. Kakashi didn’t mind bathing him for the first week until Sasuke gently told him he could do it himself. Kakashi still kept the door open since he was ordered to stay close to him at all times. But after three separate rounds of sex over the last twelve hours, Kakashi insisted on joining Sasuke in shower. Sasuke let him.

Sasuke’s hair was longer now and the duck butt had sagged into a more normal looking style. Nobody wanted to cut it, uncertain if Sasuke’s memory would be jogged by seeing his familiar reflection in a mirror. Kakashi washed the raven hair, massaging the boy’s scalp thoroughly. Sasuke moaned, luxuriating in being pampered not because he had to be, but because someone wanted to pamper him.

Kakashi was careful to rinse his hair away from his eyes then started on the rest of his body. He started with his back, massaging the muscles, strained from so much use after so long asleep. He then ran his soapy hands down that hairless chest and flat stomach. The muscle definition was not as sharp, but he was still sexy. Kakashi actually found him more sexy because he needed to be protected; Sasuke needed him.

They’d just fucked twenty minutes ago before Sasuke’s little nap and Sasuke was limp, but Kakashi was determined to bring him back to full hardness for a fourth round. He tried to push away his misgivings about how ready Sasuke was for multiple rounds, but he couldn’t escape the likelihood that Orochimaru had repeatedly raped him. He wondered if Orochimaru had claimed to love him too. That brought Kakashi back down to earth and he switched to a more functional fondling.

Sasuke groaned. “Again?”

“No. Unless you want it.”

“I think I’m worn out.”

Kakashi kissed his temple. “I love you.” He finished up washing them both then helped Sasuke dry off before he took care of himself. Sasuke drew the line at dressing him. Kakashi changed the sheets and Sasuke curling back up like a cat as soon as the soiled bedclothes were gone.

“Tried?” Kakashi asked.

“Sleepy.”

“You never were a morning person; guess you’d rather sleep.” It occurred to Kakashi that Sasuke was not as grumpy in the morning like he used to be. This Sasuke was far more good natured and calmer than the one he had known.

“Go ahead and sleep. I’ll prepare food when you wake up.”

“Hn.”

Kakashi’s heart froze for a moment, but Sasuke had a soft smile on his face and was drifting off to sleep. That ‘hn’ was just too natural to him. Kakashi was sure he had nothing to fear.

-----

They were happy lovers for a week, successfully hiding their new relationship from the only two people who visited them. No one else but a few ANBU knew who Kakashi was harboring or that Sasuke was even awake.

Kakashi sighed at the knock at his door. Sasuke opened his eyes; he was napping on the sofa under a blanket—he napped more than a cat. Kakashi reluctantly opened the door to tell Gai or whoever it was that he was sick or something to get them to leave.

His eyebrows shot up: it was Naruto and Sakura.

“We know Sasuke’s here,” Naruto said.

“You have to let us see him,” Sakura said.

“No, I’m under orders from the Hokage.”

“Sasuke!” Naruto yelled and tried to force his way into the house.

“No!” Kakashi forced him back. Naruto didn’t give up and Kakashi was forced to pin him against the outer wall of his house. Sakura stepped back, not expecting this to get physical.

“Listen to me,” Kakashi said. “If Sasuke remembers one thing, he’ll be executed. I was there when he woke up, so he already saw me, but Tsunade fears that he might remember if he sees the two of you.”

Curiosity got the better of Sasuke and he came to the open door, peeking around the door demurely. Sakura threw herself at him the moment she saw him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Sasuke nearly collapsed under her assault. Sasuke’s eyes were wide and he didn’t move as Sakura started crying into his neck.

“Fuck,” Kakashi sighed. He let go of Naruto.

Sasuke was looking at Kakashi for help from this girl who was crushing him and crying on him. Kakashi pulled Sakura off him. Kakashi stared at Sasuke, watching for any signs he recognized Sakura. He didn’t. Sakura sank to her knees and continued to cry, so happy Sasuke was alive—and not trying to kill her.

Naruto stepped up. “Sasuke?”

“I don’t know you,” Sasuke said bluntly.

“You really don’t remember us?”

“I don’t remember anything.”

It felt strange to have to do it, but Naruto introduced himself and Sakura. “We—”

“Stop it,” Kakashi warned. “Don’t try to jog his memory; don’t remind him of anything.”

“I don’t really want to remember,” Sasuke said. “I just want to be left alone.”

“Come on, teme, we were friends.”

Sasuke’s back straightened a bit and Kakashi feared he remembered something.

“Teme?” Sasuke was offended. “You say we were friends, but you say something like that?”

Naruto expected Sasuke to call him ‘dobe,’ but it never happened. “I didn’t mean anything by it; we just always insulted each other.”

“I’m not the person you knew. Just leave me alone. Kakashi.”

Kakashi eased Naruto back and reentered his house, closing the door on the pair. Kakashi couldn’t stop himself from taking Sasuke in his arms. He was close to tears; he was just so afraid Sasuke would remember and he’d lose his precious Sasuke. Again.

“I don’t think I want to know them.”

“If it were up to me, I’d keep you locked away so you wouldn’t look at anyone but me.”

“Do that.”

Looking back, Kakashi had to admit, he wanted to keep Naruto and Sakura away from Sasuke for more reason than to keep him from remembering; Kakashi was becoming jealous of him; he really wanted to keep Sasuke to himself. Sasuke was his alone.

-----

Kakashi asked for permission to train Sasuke. He argued that if he never regained his memory and he was pardoned, he would need to use his innate talents as a shinobi; if he did regain his memory, Kakashi retraining him wouldn’t make any difference. And it was something they could do locked up every day as they were. Tsunade reluctantly agreed.

The first thing Kakashi taught him was the transformation jutsu. The Sharingan had yet to make an appearance, but with his muscle memory and innate skill with chakra, Sasuke picked up the jutsu within minutes.

“With this, we might even be able to go outside for a while,” Kakashi said. Sasuke may not want to know anyone else, but Kakashi had seen him look longingly out the window. Kakashi kept the front windows curtained to avoid anyone peeking in and seeing someone they shouldn’t, but he let Sasuke see out the back windows, never letting him outside as per orders. At this point, even Kakashi was getting stir crazy.

It took some negotiation with Tsunade and coaching Sasuke to create a transformation that was utterly nondescript and they finally got to go outside.

Kakashi was sure it wasn’t the short brown hair and plain features that made Sasuke so uncomfortable; it was just being outside and around other people. Luckily everyone ignored him. Kakashi on the other hand had to deal with people who hadn’t seen him in the last month while he was sequestered with his new lover.

“Kakashi!”

“Oh, kami,” Kakashi whispered. The worst of them approached.

Sasuke looked at Kakashi curiously.

Gai came over and Sasuke couldn’t help raise his eyebrows in disgust at the green outfit and boisterous personality.

“Kakashi, I haven’t seen you in a month! Sending you out on that kind of mission with your student in the hospital . . .” Gai said disapproving. “How is Sasuke doing?”

Sasuke was calm by nature but the question made Kakashi uncomfortable. “No change.”

“Shame.” Gai finally noticed the young man with Kakashi. “Who’s this?”

“A young man from outside the village who has potential to become a shinobi.”

“Excellent. Kakashi is one of the best shinobi in the village; he is my eternal rival after all. You are in good hands.”

Kakashi slumped in defeat. Sasuke nodded to Gai. He was too scared to speak around all these people and new surroundings.

“I’m just taking him for a walk through the village,” Kakashi said. “He’s not too comfortable here yet.”

“You need to use the enthusiasm of youth!”

“Too soon, Gai. Let him settle in before you start that. See ya, Gai.”

Gai walked away thinking it was a good thing that Tsunade had given Kakashi another student to keep his mind off the one still laying comatose in the hospital.

Luckily, no one even thought to concentrate on chakra and no one recognized Sasuke’s distinct presence. Kakashi really just worried about Kiba. All the Inzuna clan would scent Sasuke, but probably only Kiba would recognize Sasuke. As they walked further from home, the more fearful Kakashi became of Kiba or the rest of Team Seven finding them. Sasuke was just fearful. They turned around and retreated back toward their sanctum. Kakashi was sure they had just escaped any difficulties as they were about to leave the market district and approached the neighborhood where Kakashi lived.

However, it appeared that some deity above or demon below had it out for Kakashi and Kakashi was certain that both were the case—and considering the missions he’d carried out, he might have even deserved it.

Kiba and his team were hanging out with their sensei, her baby, and Shikamaru. Kakashi was just walking by with Sasuke at his elbow when Akamaru sniffed and whined to Kiba. Kiba turned around and saw Kakashi with an unassuming young man. He took a sniff of the air himself. That was definitely Sasuke’s chakra. He ran over and got in Sasuke’s face, staring into his face, looking for Sasuke, but didn’t see anything of the Uchiha in his face or eyes. Sasuke shrank back and almost hid behind Kakashi like a frightened kitten.

Oh, fuck. Kakashi regretted every bad thing he did in his life. Perhaps this was vengeance for having sex with Sasuke.

“Kakashi-sensei,” Kiba said, still looking in Sasuke’s face, “I know that smell.” Akamaru whined beside him and the others were drawn to the scene. Kakashi sighed. “This is the Uchiha,” Kiba growled.

“Don’t drop the jutsu,” Kakashi warned Sasuke. “Yes, this is Sasuke, but he doesn’t remember a thing. It is Sasuke, but it’s also not Sasuke.”

Sasuke was shrinking back further against Kakashi’s side as Shikamaru came in close as well. Hinata stood there uncertain and Kurenai stood back with her baby. Shino stood next to her, calm as Sasuke ever was.

The fact Sasuke was shrinking back rather than standing his ground made Shikamaru pause. He never knew Sasuke to give a millimeter. Kiba also noticed that, but he and Akamaru also could tell his chakra wasn’t as dark as it used to be, not even as dark as it was when he was their classmate in the academy. Hinata could see it too. No one was that good of an actor; this really wasn’t the Sasuke they knew.

It was Kurenai who was the most suspicious. “Kakashi, a moment. I think you can leave him with his classmates for a minute.”

Kakashi gave Sasuke a reassuring hand on the back as he walked over to Kurenai.

“So you really don’t remember anything?” Kiba asked Sasuke.

Kakashi turned his full attention to his fellow Jounin captain.

“Kakashi, I have students who are precious to me as well,” Kurenai began. “I know you want more than anything to save him and have him back, but are you sure about this?”

“That’s not him. That’s not the boy who left us or plotted against us or attacked us. He doesn’t even react to Itachi’s name. He saw Naruto and Sakura and he felt nothing. He didn’t know his own name, Kurenai. He’s happy. I’ve never seen him happy. He’s content, he smiles. That’s not the dour Uchiha I trained. You’re right, I want nothing more than to save my precious student and I will. All I have to do is keep him from remembering.”

“What does the Hokage and the Council think about this?”

“They’re still debating it, but Tsunade’s on our side.”

“Be careful, Kakashi. He may just break your heart again. You hid it well, but I know how badly his leaving broke you. If he does start to remember . . . cut your losses.”

“I’ll keep your words in mind.”

“I don’t believe you,” she said with a smile and rubbed his arm in a comforting fashion. “I’d do the same for my students. I can’t tell you not to fight for any of them.”

Sasuke found he was able to split his attention: answering Kiba’s questions and listening to Kakashi and Kurenai. What had he done? But on the other hand, Kiba was warming to him. Kiba was warm and happy and Sasuke kind of like him. Shikamaru didn’t show any emotion and Sasuke felt Shikamaru didn’t trust him. Hinata was blushing and cute, but she was welcoming in a way like Kiba. Shino was so quiet as to be invisible. Akamaru knew Kiba had accepted the Uchiha and rubbed up against him and Sasuke petted him. Unlike Naruto and Sakura, Sasuke wanted to know Kiba and Hinata. When Kakashi turned back to him, Kakashi could see that. And he didn’t like it. Jealousy bubbled up in him.

“We should get home,” Kakashi said as emotionlessly as he could. Sasuke looked at him and nodded. Sasuke nodded goodbye to the group and left attached to Kakashi’s side again.

Kurenai came up next to Shikamaru. “You’ve been awfully quiet,” she said.

“If he never gets his memory back, good. But if he does . . . I don’t think either of them will survive.”

Sasuke let his transformation drop once the door was shut and locked.

Kakashi swallowed his jealousy. “Well done.” Sasuke beamed at the praise. “Now I’ll teach you the clone jutsu.”

Sasuke forgot his questions for the moment.

-----

Kakashi only intended to make out with Sasuke as he sat back against his headboard with Sasuke straddling his thighs and supporting his weight on Kakashi’s raised knees. Sasuke had grown so much stronger since he came to live with Kakashi.

Sasuke knew how to kiss and Kakashi loved to just make out with him until he couldn’t take it anymore. Sasuke was the impatient one this evening. The windows still glowed with the dying sunlight. Sasuke tried to strip, but it was difficult in this position with someone greedily plundering his mouth. Frustrated, he stood on the bed and shucked all his clothes. Kakashi wasn’t about to hinder his lover and did the same in his sitting position.

Kakashi growled as the lithe body descended back onto his lap. Sasuke had to be the most desirable person he ever saw. He watched Sasuke sizable manhood go by and then the slim waist then the chest with erect nipples and finally that gorgeous face. Sasuke was smiling at him, at the desire in his eyes. Then Sasuke was back in the same position.

Kakashi gently grabbed the back of Sasuke’s neck and pulled him into another kiss. He was so in love, so overwhelmed by the happiness Sasuke brought him. Sweet, innocent Sasuke. Kakashi had sex partners before, but never a lover. He loved him so much. Just the kiss was overwhelming. Sasuke was soft and yielding and responsive, teasing Kakashi deeper and just licking at his tongue to give him pleasure as he plundered his mouth. For Kakashi’s part, it was desperate. It was almost like Kakashi was panicking that if he didn’t keep kissing Sasuke, he would disappear.

Maybe deep down Kakashi did fear that. Sasuke was so much younger and he really only knew Kakashi. Sasuke had taken a liking to Kiba and soon would be allowed to go outside without Kakashi’s company. Sasuke would find someone else, someone younger who could make him happy. Maybe even a woman. Sasuke will leave him. Kakashi couldn’t bear the thought. He wanted to keep Sasuke’s attention on him, keep his eyes on him, keep his world focused on him. Kakashi finally understood why some men locked up their girlfriends and wives and sought to control every aspect of their lives. He wanted to lock Sasuke away and never let him see another soul. It was jealousy and insecurity. He knew there was someone better than him in the world for Sasuke and he feared Sasuke realizing that. He was desperate to keep him. He wouldn’t allow himself to consider that if Sasuke wasn’t pardoned they would definitely be separated. By death.

Sasuke was moving his hips to rub their bare erections against each other just a little. Kakashi was ready to take him, but he let Sasuke dictate this one.

Sasuke sucked on Kakashi’s earlobe. Kakashi enjoyed it until he thought about the fact Sasuke was so good at kissing and turning him on by sucking on his ear like that. He shivered thinking about Sasuke doing this with Orochimaru. Why couldn’t he get that out of his mind? Maybe it was someone else. That didn’t curb his jealous, but it did decrease the creepiness.

Sasuke grabbed the lube from the nightstand and pressed his hips forward against Kakashi’s chest while he squeezed lube onto Kakashi’s hard cock. Kakashi spread the lube over his length and aimed it as Sasuke lowered himself on it. This wasn’t the ideal position, but it was still great. Sasuke couldn’t sustain it however, his thighs being too weak to keep in this position and bounce up and down on Kakashi’s cock.

Sasuke settled down, completely impaled. Kakashi understood that he was tired so he grabbed his young lover and flipped them so that Sasuke was on his back.

Sasuke had always been athletic, but Kakashi never knew how limber he was until now. Sasuke brought his knees back almost under his armpits. Kakashi braced himself with his arms at Sasuke’s sides so that he could hook his legs on Kakashi’s arms. That made fucking him so much easier. Kakashi loved looking at Sasuke’s face, therefore doggy style wasn’t the ideal position—though it did have wonderful advantages of its own. Right now Kakashi looked down into Sasuke’s lovely face.

Sated a few minutes later, Kakashi lay on his back next to his hazy-eyed lover. Kakashi pulled Sasuke onto him. Sasuke folded his legs on either side of Kakashi’s body and tucked his head under his chin. Kakashi caressed Sasuke’s smooth back, over the swell of his ass, and then between his legs. If Sasuke had been a woman, Kakashi would have been fingering her labia.

“Hmmm, that feels good,” Sasuke murmured.

“I love you so much. I wish I could do more for you; take you out, give you something. I promise, once you’re pardoned, I’m going to utterly dote on you.”

“I thought you did that now.”

“You have no idea.”

“Hmmm. I’m hungry.”

“Let’s take a quick shower and then I’ll cook for you.”

“Can I help? You do everything around here.”

“Sure.”

Freshly washed and dressed, Kakashi instructed Sasuke in how to cook. He’d already taken him out to the back yard for kunai and shuriken practice and he’d done well, so he felt confident giving Sasuke knife duty.

Holding the single edged chef’s knife, which was longer than a kunai, Sasuke felt something. He held it out in front of him. The weight felt wrong.

“Kakashi, do you have something longer than this?”

Kakashi’s heart sped up. “Like a sword?”

“Yeah.” He looked over at Kakashi and saw concern in his eye. “Something wrong?”

“He used a sword.”

He. Kakashi usually said you. Sasuke didn’t know how he felt about the fact Kakashi was beginning to separate who he was and who he used to be. Sasuke just went back to chopping vegetables. He felt like his body was aching to hold a sword again, but he didn’t want to Kakashi to worry about his memories returning.

That got Sasuke thinking all through the cooking and through dinner. Kakashi hated that look on Sasuke’s face. It was actually quite attractive, but he still feared Sasuke thinking like that. That sword thing already had him worried.

“What are you thinking about?”

“I know you don’t want me to try and remember my past, but I can’t help wondering what I did. I promised I wouldn’t ask you again if you kissed me and you did. I plotted against you and attacked you? I don’t understand.”

“I can understand your curiosity. You had your reasons. No one can really say whether you were right or wrong, but the path you did choose was painful for all of us. You have a chance to take the alternate path. I may be forcing you that way, but trust me, it’s a better path.”

“I trust you.”

“You heard what I said to Kurenai.” Sasuke nodded. “I will never cut my losses.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about; I know you’ll never abandon me. But if everyone remembers all the bad things I did . . .”

“I’ll protect you until they all realize you didn’t do those things.”

Sasuke was unsure, but he dropped it. “Can I ask you something else?” Kakashi nodded. “You keep saying you’ll protect me ‘this time.’ You failed before?”

“I’ve failed to protect everyone important to me. Both my parents died when I was a kid, my first teammates, who were also my first friends, died on missions, my sensei, the man I looked up to the most beside my father, died along with his wife. Then I couldn’t stop you from running away. I swear, I’ll protect you this time. I swear it.”

Sasuke smiled, but it was weak.

Sasuke couldn’t sleep that night. They weren’t pressed up against each other since it was quite warm tonight, but Kakashi’s hand lay on Sasuke’s. Sasuke didn’t like being the cause of pain. Kakashi loved him, but Sasuke reminded him of so many bad things. And everyone else saw him as . . . a traitor? Sasuke wasn’t sure.

Kakashi’s breath was blowing against his chest and his own breath feathered Kakashi’s hair when he sighed. He wanted a new start, but he needed to know what he’d done. Being hated for something he didn’t remember was maddening. He didn’t want to stay in Konoha unless he could stay under lock and key here.

And what if they decided to kill him. He never gave a sign to Kakashi that he was worried about it, but he was. He figured it was 50/50. Why was it taking so long if they trusted him? Tsunade must be fighting hard for his sake. There was a very real possibility that he would be executed. Death, for some reason—perhaps his former life—didn’t frighten him. What he feared was Kakashi’s reaction. He was worried for Kakashi. He wished he’d never asked for that kiss so he could spare Kakashi the pain he was certain was coming. Then again, Kakashi had been attentive and promised to protect him before that night; there was no way to prevent Kakashi feeling pain over his death. But Kiba had known him and had accepted the new him, maybe everyone else could do the same.

He stared at the little he could see of Kakashi’s face for a while longer before sleep finally took him.